00:23 (12:23 AM)Β 

I still hope you’ll purchase and read my essay, and let me know what you think of its content πŸ™‚ .

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It is written with the intention of discussing it on a much larger scale, and reach a consensus when it comes to shifting the hierarchy to a bottom-up construction. In it, I also say that the identities of some individuals can apply to multiple layers at the same time. You’ll find it interesting πŸ™‚ .

And I would like a new social circle, because I’m far too different from the people in my current one. I can talk to them, but we can’t relate to each other. If you can relate to me, please buy my essay so that we can become life long friends. And tell your friends that you’ve bought my sexy essay. The information in it, will give you something in return that is of much greater value than the purchase price…

Especially if you have a Dutch bank account, please purchase it via a bank transfer πŸ™‚ . That’s one out of two of the payment options when you proceed to the checkout on this blog.

Bitte buy my essay so that I can be happy, living life the way I should… It feels wrong to live life with the people from that list. In reality, out personalities do not match at all, so it really is better when I leave.

Closer to the German border, it’s safer, water-wise. But then again, Wassenaar is at the sea side, and I so love the sound and scent of the sea (though I find Dutch beaches a quite uncomfortable sight (especially after having visited Nassau twice…))… Plus that it’s a green neighborhood with pretty houses…

I’ll receive a phonecall today, from the “early intervention for psychoses” team, to talk about how we could go about this… If my mother wouldn’t have called my phycisian, it wouldn’t be my current greatest burden. (Like I’ve said often, my physician wants me to be declared incompetent.) If I truly wanted it, I would have asked for it myself… But of course I cooperate, because I didn’t want to receive another threat of being sent to the closed vicinity. Then I’d rather be here in my room.

Staring at this sight…

I wish I could sit around a table with official authorities from multiple fields, and talk about the PR strategy I have for them… (But I’m such a wild catje that meeting up with me will already cause many rumors. (Though we can easily spin that into our advantage…))

What am I going to do today… For sure trying more ways to get a lot of internet money. I really want to have my own place before the weekend. (Because of 80% of that list in Highlights being in this house then… That’s too much pressure (for my bloodlust meoww) πŸ™ .) Please buy my essay… You don’t want more dramatic sensation in my life (= this diary) and neither do I…. You want some Cishes, right? πŸ˜€ I do tooooo!

I don’t know why I keep myself from trying to commit suicide every time, because I fear missing out on something that would actually make me enjoy life. I feel like there are still many ways to try to get my business off the ground.

And fuck those who say that I’m failing in life (“vastlopen” en “de hele tijd in hetzelfde cirkeltje zitten draaien in die kamer van je” (stop talking me to death please)), who want me to do proletarian shit…

I’m going to continue to configure my official bookstore (and business website), where I can sell paperbacks (and hopefully hardcovers) myself, instead of via Amazon! 😻 Not that Amazon is bad! It’s more that I’d rather sell to Amazon, instead of receive Amazon royalties…

Meanwhile my room is so hot that I feel like passing out yooo… 😥

I wish I had someone I could share my moments with… πŸ™


02:07 (AM)

Meoww my feelings…

I’m still craving for passionate intimacy. We would look sooooo sexy together . Especially the part where, on the one hand, I’ll look like a gold digger import bride, but in reality we’ll spark a revolution 😻 .

Meoow I want sex πŸ™ . I’ve been depriving myself from it for too long now. But I know Tinder won’t satisfy me… I sound crazy for going after Victor – I live with my parents. But we would be so sexy together meow…

Plus this:

Buy my essay pleaseee…

On that thought, I’m going to sleep. Good night β™₯


10:58 (AM)

Good morning β™₯

Hopefully your night was good. Mine was, too πŸ™‚ . So good that I’m secretly wishing that it were still dark outside, so that I wouldn’t feel the need to get up and do things, just because there’s daylight.

There are chorizo and mozzarella in the fridge, with which I’ll prepare something. I don’t know exactly what yet, but the combination sounds very tasty 😻 .

My mental is tired from all this creative reasoning and writing, but I’m still going to seek the strength to finish my websites…

Stiekem ben ik serieus:


17:27 (05:27 PM)

Heyy first some Twitter highlights in reverse order:

[Is my actual amount of non-anonymous visitors and views since I installed the Jetpack plugin…]

[Me pretending to be my dream companion.]

[Still got rejected πŸ™ .]

[I said the tweet is debatable because every Muslim is different, but still to rule a country can’t be refused just because of a tweet… What is the real reason why?]

[A.k.a. this is how much of a serious hot distraction my fantasies about me and Victor are… I’m going to elaborate on this.]***************

[Stats have been rising ever since I used that sex image for a featured image.]

[Het imperium dat ik eerst nog wel moet creeeren… Land kopen/veroveren enzo…]

*************** An anonymous individual asked me to describe what I’d do to his/her body sexually, if I’d get to do what I want. Not knowing if sexual attraction would be there, I was so bold to write out what I would do to Victor if there is mutual attraction and he is as sweet as I think that he is [explicit]:

“💕 Ik zal je eerst vol passie zoenen en je helemaal uitkleden. Vervolgens duw ik je op bed en zal ik je hele lichaam masseren met massageolie, omdat je zo lang en hard gewerkt hebt, terwijl ik je op willekeurige plaatsen op je lichaam kusjes geef. Ik begin bij je nek en schouders.
Wanneer ik zie hoe hard je bent, geniet ik van je penis met mijn mond, alsof het een bijzonder lekker ijsje is, terwijl ik je diep in je ogen aankijk. Vervolgens zoen ik je weer [als dat magΒΏ] en wrijf ik je penis langs mijn clitoris en voel je hoe nat ik ben.
Ik geef je dan zuigzoenen, terwijl ik met mijn heupen draai enzo, zonder handen. Daarna haal ik mijn handen door je haren, terwijl ik onze slapen tegen elkaar aan leg, en fluister ik “Please fuck me,” in je oor. Then I’m all yours 😏 .”
We would look soooo sexyyy meoow I want to feel this in real life…

It must be very random for him, that there is this random website where this random individual – The Fangs – is writing about intimacy with him? My attraction to him is real… I wouldn’t know how to get my feelings answered (in a non-digital way)? Plus, if the answer to “Cishe? :D” would be “Nooooo”, I don’t even want to know the answer…? I have no clue meowww… I could very randomly call his office number and ask? 😂 Haha but that feels so lackey-ish… Have been doing lackey shit for far too long…

I’ve been getting ASKfm questions about marriage and I’ve been saying no to the concept of marriage for very long – because of the hassle and fear of getting married to the wrong person. Plus I have so many burdens that all I can do is complain about life, and most people don’t find that sexy. So most people want sex with me, but we can’t even hold a conversation… Anyway, in this situation where my mother is clearly abusing the (financial) authority she has over me, and my physician wants me to be declared incompetent, I would love to have a husband who would like to be on my side, in this battle. I wouldn’t mind being married to the right person right now? But simultaneously, choosing only one person feels like letting down many people who receive my brain-to-brain communication. I’d only do it if I’d have their blessings… And still be allowed to give and receive innocent Cishes πŸ˜€ . I really hope Victor receives my signal, too! That would make everything so much easier and then I would be very certain of making the right choice getting fixed on spending the rest of my life with him! 😻

I do must say that I feel that I should be careful with my words, because it feels as though being divorced can cause a love-related PTSD I don’t want to negatively influence. I’m not 100% certain if we wouldn’t get into fights [I hateee fightsss, when I genuinely love that person]. But I feel so happy when I’m around you… I want to cuddle 😻 .

Meanwhile my mount of sales is still 0, and I still want to leave this life behind me, but now that I can’t live the life I want due to lack of capital, there is a session scheduled “with my parole officer”, Friday at 2 PM… I need to move to a different city to get the freedom I want. I wish I could move in to Victor’s house… I would so love to go for this spontaneous gamble 😻 . He could then also teach me everything about being a powerful and responsible Graeyniss and I could be his sexy sidekick wearing formal but tight dresses whenever we’re out in public together 😻 .

My brain feels fried from the stress of being back at ground 0 when it comes to my justice in psychiatry, and fatigue from writing so much. I’m going to play the piano… People didn’t anticipate on the previous versions of my business website, so I feel very low motivation to finish this new one. Please just buy my essay so that I can get the fuck out of this fucking awful situation and we can finally start doing actual business.

Danke schΓΆn πŸ™‚

Oh and I just made the “explicit content” category. Especially after Instagram fully blocking my voice, while I get to see porn videos I don’t want to see either, in my feed with suggested content. Is there anyone interested in suggesting which other posts should be in that category?

I’m – in ieder geval – going to add “Een verhaaltje”, “Not Dead Yet” and “Death O’Clock” to it… And after that I’m going to play the piano xxx

If you want me to hold a piano concert, please buy my essay. The same goes for better quality content…

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22:47 (10:47 PM)

New Twitter highlights:


[That was sarcasm… Seriously don’t ask…]

[I can’t even buy an ISBN for it… Maybe I should give it a D.O.C.I.S. International Publication Code…]

[~Project Nosce Te Ipsum~…]

Meowww my mind is getting attached to the idea of getting married to my Vicje 😻 . “Vicje” sounds like a verkleinwoord, but I say it for the pronunciation, which sounds like a little orgasm, because I just find him that attractive. And I am sooo pickyyy… I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone I’d rather spend the rest of my life with? Intimately?

I’ve even been thinking of a guest list and how fucking many people “from my circle” I would not invite HAHAHAHA 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 . [My sister is welcome πŸ™‚ . (Ze is net zo oud als… What’s her name? 😋 ) Other than that, I don’t know…] And how many people I have never met in person before I would invite!!! And we should really do something with speeding cars spinning donuts and figure 8’s!!! 😻

It would be such an awesome way of getting the fuck out of this room forever πŸ˜€ . I just want to know everything about being a Graeyniss, meneer Graeyniss… 😻
& A semi-long “Hitlerjugend” haircut would look sooooo good on you! 😻 😻 😻

Haha jeeetje mina, I’m getting so lost in this fantasy! 😻 I could then finally be with my Cuddles and other Graeynissis, tooooo! 😻 But how to make this reality? Or get my heart broken and get the fantasy out of my head πŸ™ . Preferably before Friday at 2 PM…

HAHA if I’d call tomorrow, what on Earth should I casually say? “Met Victor” “H-Heey… Met Dominique… [Ik zeg eigenlijk liever “Fangs” of “The Fangs”]. Wat heb je aan? 😻 Ik vind onweer echt eng. Mag ik bij jou onder de dekens komen schuilen? Heb je een bed dat groter is dan reguliere mensen hun bed? Wat eet je graag voor ontbijt??? Ik kom er zo aan doeei tot zoooo πŸ™‚ .” Haha he makes me weak in the kneeeees. Cishe? πŸ˜€

Lol noo I don’t dare to call… I prefer to see one’s face when I speak to him/her. Don’t ask me how I survived last year as telefonisch hulpverlener ahahaha… I didn’t even pick up when my “parole officer” called today x_x.

If I’d marry a Graeyniss, I would naturally start my D.O.C.I.S. Alliance. With such a sexy Graeyniss! 😻
I think my husband would support my business aspirations… 😻 My family hasn’t, my ex hasn’t, psychiatry hasn’t, I don’t even have real friends…. I think I’m ready for marriage πŸ˜€ .

Haha this is such a randomly far too awesome fantasy taking over me… 😻 I want kisses [ = Cishes, for those who are new here πŸ™‚ ] 😻

Meanwhile, in “reality”: another day of procrastination, when it comes to my business website and making a new theme for my blog… And I also want to do something with thefangs.nl, but I don’t know what yet…

If we’d get married, there should certainly be a livestream πŸ™‚ . How about we make it a benefit of 24 hours????? 😻 Because I don’t like saying goodbye to you… To any of you!!! ♥ And I still have big stacks of plans laying around in my mind, which I’ve not put into practice yet… I would so love to do it together with you and ask for your perspective about everything 😻 .

But how to bypass the asking of hand, if we haven’t even spent time alone yet…? It should still really be bypassed, because the “no outsiders” policy in this family is far too strict… I don’t want to risk missing out on your loving 😻 . So fuck that tradition… Other traditions should also be taken with a grain of salt… Like postponing sex… But flowers shouldn’t be bypassed! I love flowers! Aw pleaseee… 😻 I’m not used to asking for expensive or “valueless” things and getting them without pleading for it at least a day… Zou ik dan ook zegmaar automatisch medeverenigingseigenares zijn??? 😻 That would be another one of my Graeyniss dreams come true!

Wist je dat ik in 2017 al een huwelijksvoorwaarden-achtig document had opgesteld? Ook om van die psychiatrische onzin af te kunnen komen. Echt toevallig 😏 . Vooral omdat men me weer aan de antipsychotica wil krijgen! Haha help me pleaseee mijn Catje… ♥

I feel like typing about this forever! But I should cut down on screen time, because it’s after twelve and I should attempt to keep my sleeping schedule the way it was when I was in that crisis center [which shouldn’t even exist. What a waste of tax and insurance money…]. Ik ben nu zogenaamd opgelapt? 😂

So I’m going to read a book or something and then lake myself to sleep… Guess what I’ll be fantasizing about!

Good night ♥

The Fangs loves you ♥