Heysss ♥

Woaaaah 😮

This is such a trippy sight! I can’t believe that it’s August already. It feels like 2019 has barely started and meanwhile it’s coming to an end.

August is, internationally, ~the~ month of taking breaks. But D.O.C.I.S. won’t be participating in that for the year is coming to an end and I’m still not closer to the accomplishment of my goals than in 2017.

That is why I’m stating some “before September 24th” objectives:

  1. Finish the online presentation of D.O.C.I.S. International
    Currently, everything of me online is all half-finished (or not even half-finished). Of course I can’t finish what I’m working towards all by myself at once now, because the fully finished D.O.C.I.S. International is a replacement of all local governments and international organizations overshadowing those governments. I need more propaganda and more support to reach that level, plus I need to have my models and stuff finished for implementation.
    But to make sure that I really get busy with it, I have signed up for Jia Ruan’s webminar of tomorrow morning. I always see his video ads when I watch debate videos on YouTube. I’m always afraid that I won’t learn from it while I want to enjoy it, but after I clicked on the ad link, checked the page but didn’t do anything, today I saw a video ad about that I opened the page but didn’t sign up. That is great use of data so I have my hopes up now. 🙂
  2. Be more honest and straightforward
    Since 2017, I’ve been biting my tongue. I used to be a direct and honest person, but this changed when my parents and I initiated a real-life chess game where they don’t want me to meet new people and move out and all I want is to meet new people and move out, especially when I just funded my PR business which now doesn’t even exist anymore, which was a decision influenced by their obstruction of business operations, along with the psychiatrists they were telling lies just so that they can keep me leashed on, stuck at home until they die.
    To keep the peace, for I financially depend on them and I don’t like to treat people in a way I don’t want to be treated, I have been staying nice and nodding yes to everything they’ve been saying over two years. But now that I’m older than 21, they are not responsible for me anymore, so they can’t say that if they don’t want me to study in, visit or move to the United States, that they have the final say in that, the way they obstructed the first campaign of Elia PR, involving dr. Crutzen.
    I still depend on them when it comes to studying in Antwerp comfortably, but if they want to, again, use psychological games to prevent me from moving out then I’ll do this without them. Then I’ll have an apartment with only a mattress on the floor. I don’t care. Freedom of operations is what I find the most important.
    By law my parents are obliged to invest in my future and well-being. All my life they have been doing what they want for me, at their expense. Never the investments they should have been doing. Everything I want gets shoved underneath the rug. But my studies in Antwerp are check-mate. My future depends on it and I could afford this by myself. So no matter what, I’ll finally have some healthy space to breathe. No more childish parental supervision, no more unnecessary psychiatric supervision, no more reminders of falsely going missing everywhere I go. It will just be D.O.C.I.S., my books and I and that will make me happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve been asking for help for the financial injustice I’ve been living in, but fuck all of that. I can do this on my own. Fuck dependency. I know we’ll all have a hard time trying to not lose our tempers, when I decide to speak up against everything that bothers me, starting from when they try to make conversation with me.
    With everyone I’ll be more open. This includes random people on the street randomly talking to me, this includes industry psychiatrists still keeping tabs on me (dr. Catje excluded, I’m already honest with him), this will include my openness about being Vic-sexual though I should let go of my feelings if I’ll seem like some random obsessed person fangirling forever.
    I hypothesize that my honesty will make them want me to leave just as much as I want to leave.
    If you wonder why I don’t show off my blog the way I should, it’s because all of this drama from my personal life is on it and I want that fixed because I don’t want to earn from sharing my annoyance about everyone who bothers me. I want to earn from implementing change.
  3. Freshen up my knowledge on Mathematics and write out in which way I’ll implement the knowledge from the first semester into my business right away
    Yess I’m going to study Mathematics for a reason and it’s important that I don’t lose track of that and hopefully ace this cum laude. (Something for which I’ll need to live on my own. Remember my diary when I didn’t want to go to Surinam because I wanted to focus on school but my mother found that “ongezellig” and still forced me to go – and financial dependency me allowed that – and then my streak of A’s was gone? I don’t want that to fucking EVER happen again grrrrrr.)
    What I learn during my studies, I’ll use in practice right away (which is the most fun thing ever)! 😀

In other “news” (ahahaha can you imagine this being on the news ahahahah “Jacques doesn’t like Italian food?”): before I went to bed, I thought of also putting some breadcrumbs on the floor to see if he’d maybe eat that. Because my path of prosciutto was still untouched…

Before going to bed (prosciutto and bread)

And I woke up to this:

Everything gone 😮

I see Jacques enjoyed his bread with prosciutto. My lunch was his midnight snack haha.

I’ve now made a path of bread, but through the day, again, no luck. (Rather no prosciutto for I want him to stay more healthy and not develop a taste for human flesh in the future.)

bread trap

The bread trap: it resembles “all the bread in the world is outside”

Are the chunks too large¿

Anyway meow I finished my hair as far as I could. 5 more strains I need, to finish it. It’s hidden underneath my bun-ish ness. And I ate my salmon:

Grilled salmon + spinazie á la crѐme

Now I’m going to make sunset pictures in the dunes. 😀 My family and the friends of my sister haven’t arrived yet.

Updated 21:07 (09:07 PM) [GMT +2]