Nosce Te Ipsum

Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Strategy

I really recommend you to read this post!!!

My Graeynisssssssss ♥

As a regular Dutch person would say, “I don’t want to fall with the door in house” (AHAHAHAHAHA) but I’m going to dive right into it! Looooook at this:

It’s not finished yet, but you can see the page already because I don’t like maintenance mode pages

The D.O.C.I.S. Store is getting a lot closer to being finished. 😀

Please become a Full member! If not possible, there is a low-budget option available as well. 🙂

I’m still writing the explanation text (and still have a few more books to add to the assortment)

What it looks like in practice? Amazing! 😀

The world will be ours!!!!

The image is a mashup of laptop screenshots ehehe

I really hope you will sign up!!! ♥

Oh and meoww D.O.C.I.S. International has a new logo:

Under constructionnn

I don’t know if you click on the links I share in my blog posts, so that’s why I’m showing screenshots… And I just took away the slider on the home page, because it had waaaaaaaay too many slides anyway (taking them all away would take a decade because that goes per post) and it was making my blog slow… Now there’s “an advertisement”.

Meooow I’ve been spending sooo much time behind my screen… I’m going to call it a day. Tomorrow there’s another road trip to Antwerp planned to visit another apartment, in case the apartment I’m opting for now refuses me… I’ll be here again with more yays tomorrow!

One of the things I did today was choosing the logo… Do you have the same order of preference?

Goood nighttt ♥ ♥ ♥


Updated 22:33 (10:33 PM) [GMT +2]

Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Long-Denied Admittance [Tuesday, June 25, 2019]

Good evening ♥

Do you know that situation in which you keep holding on to something because you want it to thrive so gladly, but it doesn’t happen? I didn’t know that just quitting to believe in it feels so relieving. I thought that it would lead to an “I told you so,” but that’s not even possible, because me quitting to believe that some sort of societal improvement is possible, is me admitting that I’ve lost hope for most of the people on this planet. Those who want to tell me “I told you so,” should tell themselves “Now there really is no hope for me anymore.”

Haha say Whaaaaaaat

I didn’t know that it would feel as a relief. If you knew how much effort I was planning to put in to simplifying the revolution I have in mind and making sure that everyone has an equal chance on a better life 😂 . Haha fuck that. Save yourselfffff. I have neglected myself for so long for you fucking idiots. My only problem now is that I still really need to be with the people in power, because I know that they hate society in the exact same way as I do. We’re all faking our hope and positivity about society 😂 .

Having said that out loud for the first time in three years or so did make me realize a burden: I’m still stuck with so many costs for all of this bullshit.

My level of intelligence is still far above average, my meows. I can only learn from over-experienced Graeynissis 🙂 . This makes me have such mixed feelings about studying in Antwerp. (Another burden. But still better than having nothing to do here in this house and having to endure the most frustrating situations ever.)

Haha yepp this is a 180° flip of The Fangs you have been seeing all of this time. But “This place is hopeless. You’re all a bunch of fucking losers. That’s a fucking fact,” was The Fangs I was before I became The Fangs. (You can still get immunity by being a good person underneath, my Angel. I’m just non-physically-violently destroying some demons here.)


Now I will tell you how I came to this point, with a lot of side-stories, images and tweets.

How we got to Lil Grrrrrrrr

Last night, I shared some example sentences in a Twitter response and shared many thoughts.

“Vraatzucht”, for example, implicates that someone eats like a pig, while “gluttony” has a more innocent meaning.”

“Where-o-where can I express myself without hurting someone else? I’m clearly still holding back.”

Many people still don’t have a clue of what I exactly do. (Not even of the influence I already have. And I still haven’t even started yet.) Some think that my Dutch is bad and that English is my first language. Some find that I disdown (“verloochen”) my native language for speaking English. I speak English because its vocabulary suits my difficult-to-eplain situation better and I still want international attention for the legalized forms of fraud in this country, among other things.

Things like this. I got low grades for history (and other subjects), because I give my opinion in my answers. I’m also very curious about mister Baudet his views on nationalist propaganda like the “Dutch Golden Age”.

I seek those who already know my life by reading all about it (and more). I’m not really interested in anyone else. But it feels like you admitting all you’ve already heard about me and me suddenly being so open over everything that I post here is such a big step emotionally. But we all know that life will be a lot more fun if we can all be open the way I am open on this website of mine 🙂 .

Let’s build a village together or something 🙂 .

If I study mathematics I’ll at least have something to do every day… But I wish to never be a numbered sheep in the large flock of students anymore 🙁 . I’m too special meoww 🙁 . (Don’t tell me I’m wrong for saying that.)

“If I’d be completely honest, I can’t come near any proletarian anymore. I’m such a strong believer of Fangyism, in which proletarians are obsolete.” Because I hate society soooooo muchhh and I still crave a real challenge ooh my gohohohodddd. (And that real challenge is not a bachelor program, my meow 🙁 .)

But then the heat kept me awake and my mind started to replay all kinds of awful memories…

Need Cishes 🙁 .

I curse this health care system. And I know you’re still watching me anonymously. Give me some Cishes please 🙁 .

I’m still that same Fangs.

I’m tired of not having any real fans ay. I only have a bunch of people looking, but no anticipation 🙁 .

Leg me dat alsjeblieft uit.

I bet he also hates society the way I do.

Because most people are sooooooo fuuucking dumb oh my god it makes me so fucking aggressive. Especially because they act as if they’re not fucking dumb.

Always overthinking thing like this ah meow I need a sweet and intelligent boyfriend who can distract me with Cishes 🙁 .

“If I didn’t choose mathematics, I would choose classical languages (Latin & Old Greek) 🙂 . I prefer learning something I know the least about. (As in studying history, economics or geography or something is mostly just cramming large chunks of text into your head. Mastering mathematics and classical languages require practice.) But most gladly I would just be lectured personally, by people from a large range of fields I can ask questions.

My alarm went off at 8 AM. It felt as if I hadn’t slept at all. I snoozed it until 08:40 AM. For this hot week, I decided to wear airy clothing and shave my legs for it. (Though I prefer getting it waxed by a professional… Shaving is almost free.)

I arrived at Bavo Europoort at near Voorschoterlaan at 09:50 AM. The appointment started at 09:30 AM, but I had texted my case manager that I was going to be a little later, before I hopped on my bike, at 09:30.

In the waiting room, I checked my morning statistics.

I reached Canada again 😻 .

I get some satisfaction from seeing statistical improvement.

The conversation started with that the psychiatrist – who I haven’t seen since somewhere mid 2018 – has written a referral note for me. Now I can get a second opinion in Amsterdam. I’m glad that I didn’t have to get that note from my physician, because I would attack her on sight. The way the Dutch healthcare system works is so frustrating.

I told my case manager and the experience expert that I’m planning to sign up for Antwerp. They responded positively and we spoke some about that. About the subject and studying abroad et cetera. And that I have no clue how my parents feel about me wanting to study in Antwerp. And that I feel bad about leaving my sister alone with my parents.

Then I was asked how I’m dealing with dr. Crutzen his denial of being the voice in my head. I said that I didn’t have any trouble with him denying that he is the voice in my head in the presence of my mother and her friend. [I wouldn’t admit either.] I’m glad that he still promised me to help me on my career path. [Though the fact that he hasn’t responded to my last e-mail is quite depressing.] And that I can depend on myself a lot more if I have a degree in mathematics.

Then I was asked if I still hear dr. Crutzen’s voice in my head and I replied “No. And psychotic/schophrenic does not apply to me.” [I actually do still hear his voice. It has been with me for over two years now and has never faded. But I have no incentive to discuss this with anyone who believes in antipsychotics.]

Then I was asked how the situation at home is and I replied that there have been no fights and that there are visitors frequently. (I prefer calmth in my house. Not even the sound of television.) It’s hard to explain why my situation at home is such a burden to me. Most people just see a piano and that we go out for dinner very often and then think that I’m spoiled and complaining. If I can rent a room in Antwerp – we spoke about my finances for a while – I won’t be bothered by it anymore. But then my sister will be further brainwashed by my parents 🙁 .

My case manager left because of other duties and I was alone with the experience expert, then. She asked me some questions about what it’s like to aim for greatness, hide so many emotions, having to carry your past with you all the time and finding the right therapist. I told her that studying in Antwerp will be the solution to it all, because my social environment here is my greatest problem. And that the things such as my grandfather’s passing and the way many narcissists have destroyed me emotionally are things I do want to talk about with someone. I also want to tell the world my side of the story about me going missing, in a video broadcast. But I want it to be recorded in a film studio, because I like to show myself from my good side. But my parents won’t appreciate it if I tell my side of the story.

Then, somehow, I felt like I just had to say that I’m aware that my aim for greatness is impossible, like many people have said. I want to be known for being a revolutionary, but most people don’t want to see me be that great. Especially not after I’ve gone missing.
I thought that admitting it would feel very bad for my sense of pride, but my feelings were practically the same, aside from the little relief I felt from saying what I knew all along.

I asked her about how she has become an experience expert. Then I learnt that there is an education program at an MBO school where people are educated to be health care experience experts. Another eye-opener.

Then she asked if I have any further questions and I said “No.” Then I told her that I might still see her before her internship ends – for the assistant of the psychiatrist in Amsterdam wants (after having spoken to my mother) someone to keep tabs on me here my god I can’t wait for Antwerp – and went home. (It’s really chill writing “then… then… then…” even though that’s “against the rules”.)

I want some Cishesss.

When I came home, I ate my first meal of the day.

And I posted this image on Twitter:

I slept for a very long time, after having come home. I always feel kind of fucked up after a session.

When I woke up, I felt this strong “I wish I were leaving for Antwerp already,” feeling. I need a challenge meowww. A real challenge.

From experience, I already know that a bachelor programme is not the challenge I need. It’s just a formality I need. I REALLY don’t want any tutoring. It’s kind of frustrating that there is no common way I can be challenged the way I want to. I hope you’ll make an exception for me, my Graeyniss.

Always like to do favors

If you buy anything premium at Canva, if you hadn’t found it via your favorite search engine yet, let me know 🙂 . My pockets are still empty.

I really wonder how she found my blog post. I, indeed, did not backlink the site. Did she find it because I used the word Canva? Can I get e-mails from businesses and people whose name I use in my blog posts just like that? 🙂 Because then I’d say: Victor Geskes, Benoît Crutzen, Donald Trump, Thierry Baudet, Mark Rutte, Sander Renes, Lorenzo Dal Maso, all of my favorite artists, Twitter, Google, Facebook, Instagram, everyone who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia because of all of this meddler nonsense and my frequent non-anonymous blog visitors *swings magic wand* 😏 ♥ .

Respect is free, like this profuse blog.

Seriously. Please tell me how you found my blog. All of you.

Haha I’m going to try to reason my heartache away, as time goes by and tomorrow I have an appointment with my second opinion therapist in Amsterdam.

I hope to see you here again tomorrow xxxxxxxxx

Luv y’all ♥

Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Alternative Drafting

Good evening ♥

What are your plans for the weekend? & Do you also feel slight impatience for seeing Project Nosce Te Ipsum in practice? 😀 Meowww I craveeeee.

When I started to draft a document about the renewed project, I thought: “Is it truly useful to write this?” Because it’s a lot like wanting to make a painting and then writing out what the painting should look like in full detail, instead of actually starting to make art. Let’s just get to painting! [Figuratively speaking] (Or a real draft, at least…) I think people prefer seeing me in action over seeing another long text written by me…

I have so many different options for the ways in which the project can be put into practice, while I don’t know what I’ll be allowed to do and what is “aimed too high”. When I was in the Erasmus Medical Center, for example, in 2017, I wrote a draft for an interview with President Trump. It has a very broad range of questions, from his origin and religion (aiming to hear his philosophical side), to “The Wall” and his media publicity. Will I ever be allowed to interview him? It will be great for both our ratings, I believe. (& Allowing twist braids into the White House would be quite revolutionary, right?)
In the hospital, that aspiration was seen as another sign of schizophrenia. But, like I said in the e-mail I sent to my B earlier today: I’d love to prove them wrong.

Instead of mailing him a document, I went for a more individual approach. Sending a document makes it seem as though the concept is not open for alteration, and reading it is much more tiring than having me explain it in person. The project is definitely open to Graeyniss input 🙂 . I hope he will tell his Graeyniss friends about this 😀 .

I think starting the documentary off in the Netherlands is a good and symbolic start. For this country has had a lot of influence in sooo many other countries from the very beginning. It’s the indirect reason why I was born here, but am colored. My intention is to visit at least 30 countries with it 🙂 .

Interviewing Victishe, who directs a part of something I consider national heritage, would be a good addition as well. I’m so curious about this shadowy stakeholder/ownership part of the organization, his own path and how he sees the future of the concept of insurance. [And if I can fish him because he is single? 😀 🙊 🙈 ] et cetera… But he had already turned me down before I explained the whole endeavor to him, because of function related principles 🙁 . Victishe 😢 . Can I get an exception somehow? 🙊

For the king I have a lot of questions too ayy… And soo many other people. I hope this wild combination of a wild propagandist and a researcher, will open many doors… And that in that way, we become a squad of Graeynissis 😀 . That includes the large video database of project participants who are not included in the official videos, but still want to spread their message.

And for the series and movies, in which I would like to play myself, I’m not sure who to ask to play certain roles yet… Plus meowww there is so much web stuff, artwork and music and stuff to create before we can even get started… I just want to know what my options are. I hope I don’t have to “downsize”… Because if I have to “downsize”, I won’t do it. It won’t be in accordance with the D.O.C.I.S. International endeavor if I do.

Meanwhile, I’m just being this figurative house Catje, looking for a suitable challenge. Still struggling with extreme fatigue (and a non-cooperative physician), still making my brain work overtime because I strive for a unique type of historic greatness. (Still wanting to find someone to build some apps and rebuild my websites, in the way I desire them to be. This could all be very easy, if brain-to-brain communication is real.)

Oh and I’ve done my hair:

I hope dr. B. responds to my endeavor positively. I really want to sit down with someone who likes to think along with me, about how to make things possible. Instead of elaborately explaining to me why things are impossible. That stuff is toxic ay…

If you’re interested in contributing in any way, please let me know 🙂 . I will be back here with another update tomorrow at 9 PM Amsterdam time again (I think I’m going to make that a thing?).

See you then ♥

Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Propagandist Euphoria

Good evening ♥

What are your entertainment needs? I hope I have found a way to satisfy them 😀 . The positive propaganda I’m working on is giving me the most intense sensation of Propagandist Euphoria I’ve ever felt 😻 .

Lil Epiphany

Last night, I mentioned that I would like to publish new books and essays. The truth is that I want to release material that shows alternative perspectives on life alternatively, and to gain enthusiasm for a new way to govern life: the Fangyist system.

Before I fell asleep last night, I thought of this:

Instead of publishing completely new books and essays – still built around the same mission – it would be much more effective to put the screenplay I wrote for Nosce Te Ipsum into practice. By spreading the message via a professional collection of videos, the goal of D.O.C.I.S. International is much easier to understand. And it’s much easier to be enthusiastic about as well, if I manage to create the best documentary, mini-series and movie you will ever have seen 🙂 .

I’ve gained a lot more Propagandist experience since I started to write it, so I’m going to make some changes to the actual content of the screenplay. I started to write it when I was put under psychiatric surveillance, back in 2017, because a successful screenplay could be my vindication. Now I find showing unique perspectives on life and altering the system more important than clearing my name. You’re free to judge me in any way you want to. The construction of Project Nosce Te Ipsum is, however, about the same as it was when I started to create the concept:

Project Nosce Te Ipsum schematic overview

Sharing the general construction with you is part of the plan, because it will make it much easier to understand the end result. [Click to enlarge it.]

More Details about the General Overview

Project Nosce Te Ipsum consists of the following core elements:

  • A Research Project
    “The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning”, about similarities and differences in the perception of creation (in the context of life philosophy), society (about types of government and group behavior), the self and love.
  • A Book Series
    Called Nosce Te Ipsum I. The first book of that series “Creation” (consisting of The Unpublished Episodes, The U.S.H.R., D.O.C.I.S. and The Hypothesis) is already published, but wasn’t much of a hit. Part of the docuseries is about searching ways to make the book series more appreciated. After all, it is about the survey that is in the science fiction story, needed to find The U.S.H.R.. The second, third and fourth book are titled Society, The Self and Love.
  • A Screenplay
    The screenplay consists of three components:
    1. The Docuseries
      This is the informative part of the project. I intend to show how the world works in the way that is not shown in education books, about the deep-state and beyond. I hope to be able to meet many influential people within the system in person for this, and hope that they will share their perspective on life with me. By learning how the world really works, I could also find out how transitioning to the Fangyist system is possible, and under what criteria it could become generally accepted.
    2. The Cinematic Survey
      Nosce Te Ipsum I its fill-in-the-gap science fiction story in movie format is “The Cinematic Survey”. Episodes that pause sometimes, then a question shows and your answer determines the story progress. “Creation” includes an introduction of this, which could be released during the early episodes of the docuseries, giving everyone an impression of how the research project works (since I need votes to continue writing the story [@ The Hypothesis]).
    3. The Movie Conclusion
      After the entire Universal Standard of Human Reasoning has been surveyed in The Cinematic Survey, the algorithm determines how the Nosce Te Ipsum fill-in-the-gap story ends. That means that everyone who participates in Project Nosce Te Ipsum, by participating in the research project, has an (indirect) say in how the movie goes. It is the conclusion of the Nosce Te Ipsum story and the conclusion of the research project.

Just the thought of this concept in practice already excites me so much! Especially if I could score interviews with a very broad range of influential people: presidents, business leaders, artists… Of course also “regular citizens”, including young children. I would love to hear their answers to the questions in the Nosce Te Ipsum survey for The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning, and more 😀 . Hoping that if they do it, other people will do the survey as well – since my aim is at least a million participants. I feel that we could get such interesting results! (And don’t let my title of “Propagandist” confuse you. I find it far more interesting, for this screenplay, to discover the truth, than to give the world a new direction in accordance with my vision.)

My level of enthusiasm is very high, but I’m facing two serious issues:

  • A buget? 🙁 I haven’t been able to find funding for anything, this far… But a budget for this project would also include the largest IT project ever… (I can then finally start establishing my web empire and won’t have to do all of this myself anymore 😻 .) I hope it can be funded by individuals who support the entire endeavor… (Instead of profit hungry organizations. I want to keep my independence…)
  • Getting anyone to say “yes” to doing an interview with me, and maybe also play a role in the movie/mini-series (even when he or she is not a professional actor/actress) [especially to put some weight on the satiric swag of the entire project. I do would love to see my favorite actors and actresses participate in this as well 🙂 ] ……..

Back in 2017, before all of the drama stuff happened, I was hoping to get dr. B.S.Y. Crutzen enthusiastic about this, and that he could help me with the research and play a role in the screenplay (because I love his charisma 🙂 ). He is currently my only Graeyniss contact, so I hope he will be interested in working with me (after everything that happened…). With his endorsement, other people might want to play a role in this, sooner 🙂 .

So, change of plans 1000001 (in this diary lol): I am going to send dr. B the concept of the screenplay written out and hope that he is interested in doing this with me. (Showing the entire making-off process I would love to look back at 🙂 . It would be a great addition to this blog! 😀 )

I’ll work out the screenplay concept more detailed and share it with you, here. And then send it to him and let you know what he thinks of joining the band wagon. (Maybe he already knows I’ll ask him this. I hope you like it 😀 .)

I hope we’ll see this piece of propagandist euphoria in practice 😀 . You’ll see the concept written out, here. Tomorrow: same time, same place 🙂 .

Ex Animo, Images, MacroFangs, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Reflections, Strategy

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid [Essay]

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid

A D.O.C.I.S. Essay

By Lil Fangs

An Author’s Note

This essay was written when I was in a very difficult situation. Again, being put in a powerless situation by someone else’s authority. I hoped that selling what I know about the deep-state, would help me to afford to get away from those circumstances forever. I’m not in that crisis center anymore, so the contextual information at the end of the post does not apply to me anymore. I, however, still need the funds to live independently. The essay was, because of that, put online for €1177.77, but it had no sales. I find it still important that you get the rest of my message, and that is why I now put this essay online for free.

When I published any other book I’ve published, just like when I was trying to sell this essay, I am trying to earn, so that I can set up a successful business and leave my current life behind me for good. I hope I can count on your support, this time.

“Always start the documents you sell, off with a quote. It will make you look more (modern) scholarly.”

– Lil Fangs

That was a joke 😂 … The rest won’t be…

This essay is all about the hierarchical pyramid, visible on the next page. I’m writing this from my own perspective. As a regular citizen, attempting to formulate an independent opinion, hoping I’ll succeed in nudging the official authorities, so that we can flip the pyramid together, forming a new powerful union.

Oh meow I reallyyy need to share this citation with you again, though. (I used it in my EP, too.) It perfectly suits the content of this essay! The first three paragraphs of Propaganda, by Edward Bernays:

“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.

We are governed, our minds molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society.

Our invisible governors are, in many cases, unaware of the identity of their fellow members in the inner cabinet.”


Why Disrupt This?

Slowly but surely, the system is destroying itself. The education system and cultural stories that are told from generation to generation, have taught us to value money. It gives us a status. It is the reason many people leave their homes every day.

If an idea is not an idea that can make you rich, society will not consider it a good idea. In that way, making an unprofitable difference, out of kind-heartedness, and to do what is best for our generation and future generations to come, is unappealing to society.

What is appealing to society, is to maximize profits, regardless of what it does to nature. What is appealing to society, is to destroy the names of talented people, because most people don’t have any talents. What is appealing to society, is to make a small story far bigger than it actually is, because otherwise, people have nothing to talk about.

When nature gives out, because it has been abused by this generation far too much, money will have no value. Many lives will become purposeless. That is not our problem (anymore), because they have had enough time and have received enough information to create a better system.

Those at the top (three layers) of the pyramid, have no clue what they are actually doing. They’re far too busy playing the status game. They think it has actual meaning, while it’s only talk. They don’t think about the future, and the consequences of their actions.

To make sure that they don’t ruin the future of us and generations to come, we should flip the pyramid. Instead of trying to maintain what we have, we should disrupt it even further – none of us truly enjoys this anyway. It’s only a façade, needed to keep our status. It is better to cause the disruption ourselves, so that we have control over the way the world looks, after it the system is collapsed, instead of giving in to the prospect of our fate being an uncontrollable chaos, caused by idiots.

The disruption starts with your purchase – thank you 💕 – and is followed by all of us taking physically visible action, simultaneously. I’ll first convince you of why the system has to be disrupted, some more, including some sad stories and good prospects, then I’ll tell you more about my Stratagem, and after that, it’s time for real action 🙂 .


Looking from the Bottom up

From the bottom of the pyramid, the experience of life is anything except joyful. Formulating an independent opinion is too difficult for many, so we are taught to adapt and dumb down our conversation. We watch the members of the inner cabinet try to uncover who is who, and know that right-wing and left-wing are meaningless concepts in that context.

Some individuals are in multiple positions in the pyramid at the same time, due to the status that comes with their profession. Some, like me, aren’t. There are right-wing politicians, doing independent research, echoing their views over the sounds of journalists who blindly follow trends, attempting to reach the business authorities that are being told what to do, by binge-watching babyboomers and their offspring, for example.

We, at the bottom, hope to see a large Volta, where there will be no more name shaming as “world news”. We, at the bottom, want to see the type of change in society that will make everyone go back to school again, because life as we know it will fully change.

But the change the bottom two layers want and need to see, will mean that the top three layers of the pyramid will become obsolete. Fully obsolete…


When I say this to those who blindly follow trends, they respond with something in the context of: “No wonder you are diagnosed with schizophrenia.” The media pre-chew everything there is to discover in life, and tell you how you should feel about that, so how come I have such an odd opinion about everything in life?

“Propaganda” is a bad word, “multiculturalism”, “professional” and “STG” are good words, according to the trends. How about they become just words again, where “good” or “bad” depends on the context they are used in, and the personal view of the listener.

So then, in my view, “I’m going to use propaganda to make everyone my minion,” is bad. But “I’m going to use propaganda to force people to think independently (and unveil their identity),” is good.

Since I’m, in the meantime, still busy debunking the diagnosis schizophrenia I have received, I have to still point this out, though I assume you know I know this, and I hope you know this: Officially, the official authorities and those backing them, are on top of the pyramid. But because we are taught that the media are the voice of independent reason, the official top of the pyramid is not treated as the top of the pyramid, but as puppets who have to be shaped according to the will of the self-preservative deep-state, profiting of the overrated status game.

The bottom two rows of the pyramid are structurally being prohibited from emancipating, because the top three layers do not want to give up their position in the Silent Pyramid. This is so severe, that from a young age, people are taught to stop hoping for change, and accept life as it is. Then the media confirm that image, by publishing thousands of pessimistic articles per day. And if you go too far in your believes for change, like me, you’ll become a victim of social shock therapy and be forced to take psychiatric drugs until you give up on your dreams. Life can’t go on like this forever! Especially not because of the state of the waterworks… 🙂 (The state that is fully ignored by those who blindly follow, and which is not getting enough media attention AT ALL!!!)

I have a lot of trouble with that people who blindly follow trends are authorized to label and stigmatize the worlds of people they can’t even understand. In my view, schizophrenia – as well as MANY other labels – cannot exist, because every perspective on life is unique. It’s just used to push us down the Pyramid even further… That includes people who are convinced by other people that they’re dumb, while they’re actually very smart.

Dissolving the Deep-State

As was said in the citation of Bernays: the members of the inner cabinet, do not know the identity of their fellow members. As in that they cannot openly discuss their hidden agendas. But if you’re only in it for the money and other forms of self-preservation, it’s not necessary to discuss your agenda to reveal your identity. (I say “your” for simplicity. I don’t necessarily mean you, my dear reader.)

In our competitive world, everyone is incentivized to show characteristics of politeness and intelligence, whether they’re real or fake. Humor, in the meantime, has evolved into “laughing after barbarianism”. To me, today’s sense of humor is painful and loveless. Real humor requires intelligence. Intelligence most people – sad but true – don’t have.

Through someone’s sense of humor, you can decipher that person’s identity and hidden agenda. The façade of politeness and intelligence is meaningless, when jokes are misunderstood due to the lack of understanding. From that, an interview follows, to unveil the nature of a joke [Was it to indirectly insult, or was it to make laugh?], and to unveil the nature of the listener [Does the listener find the joker a good conversationalist, or does he/she find him an annoying nerd?].

I’m pulling out all the stops in this paragraph [wonder why?] 😏 . I just want to show you that, even though I’m not really part of it (yet), I know your world very well.

We shouldn’t spend time with those we can’t get along with. The politeness, resembling “professionalism”, in this competitive world, we should let go of, because I know that there are, like me, many people who stay polite, while they would rather scream so loud that their saliva starts to foam. It’s not healthy to crop up emotions (of anger)!

I believe that there is a professional deep-state, and a personal deep-state. The professional deep-state has superficial people wanting to look cool in the one corner, and pioneers wanting to make a change, in the other. The experience of the personal deep-state depends on individual identity, but I would categorize it in this way (mind you that my personal bias will echo through this): there are those who live to spread love, of whom some people in their lives live to do the same, but most people live to take advantage of them, because those people, taking advantage, live, but are barely conscious. They have no talent and don’t want to think about life, because their minds are not capable of understanding it, so let alone improving it. Due to the competitiveness in our society and everyone wanting to be a star, they’ll act as if they live to spread love, but in reality, all they do is just survive (by taking advantage of others).

I’m talking to the bottom two layers of the Silent Pyramid, who truly live to spread love (and receive all of mine 😻 ).

An Independent Alliance

A real “Revenge of the Nerds”, will set the record straight. We have adapted ourselves to less intelligent people for long enough. How about we all let “professionalism” go, simultaneously, and just be ourselves. (You’ll breathe more freely than ever before!)

We, the bottom layers of the Pyramid, don’t need large groups of people to do what we want to do in life. It is what makes us strong as individuals, but it’s what makes us weak against the competitive top three layers in the Silent Pyramid, who are more focused on forming self-preservative alliances, than self-development.

We, “nerds”, should seclude ourselves from those we wouldn’t truly voluntarily spend time with anyway. If we all do it together, at the same time, the top three layers will be powerless. We can outsmart them with so much ease!

That is why I plead for the independent alliance of the bottom two layers of the Silent Pyramid, through D.O.C.I.S. International, funded to unite us and revolutionize society. Who do you want to be, when, due to the collapse of the waterworks, the entire system collapses? You can start your life all over again and re-log who you are, for the history books of our future generations. Please let me know, by sending an email to



The international deep-state should be uncovered, the media should be taken less seriously, those who blindly follow trends have no purpose in our revolution, official authorities should become actual authorities and those who work hard to formulate an independent opinion, will become the world’s new generation of pioneers.

I hope to have given you information that is understandable, and the incentive to do something you easily can and want to do. All you need to do, is, the next time I ask you to publicly support me, say that you are part of the D.O.C.I.S. International Council, and poke your chest and bum out, showing the world the strong and independent individual that you are. I’ll divide positions and tasks on the fly. (They say don’t put new information in the conclusion of your texts… I’m still doing it. #YOLO.)

A Digression

War in the Western world, would make me happy. To get the chance to rebuild the overpromoted, decaying metropolitans, which are like old, squeaking amusement park attractions, facilitating the same routine over and over and over and over again. I can’t even pretend to like it anymore. I can’t pretend to value it, either. It would also end that awful “The West is the Best”-sentiment (democrats often use).

The top three layers will point a moralistic finger at me, for the first sentence of this digression, but that is only because the war will be against them, and they will be so very powerless.

Ik hoop dat je je door mijn schrijven een stuk minder alleen voelt. Ik hoop dat ik je leven leuker maak, vanaf de afstand van waar ik je bereik.

Je voelt je zeker alleen omdat je voor de meeste mensen te intelligent bent. Maak je niet (meer) druk, want je persoonlijkheid zal binnenkort de allernormaalste zijn. Andersdenkenden belachelijk maken, zal binnenkort belachelijk worden. Ook zal het normaler worden om culturele gebruiken te laten varen.

Of ik helemaal klaar ben met Project Nosce Te Ipsum? Nee, ik wacht tot men me antwoorden opstuurt. Ik moet weten hoeveel mensen A of B stemmen op de laatste vraag in The Hypothesis, omdat ik op basis daarvan, had ik gezegd, het vervolg van het verhaal zal bepalen. Het is ook onderdeel van de informatie die ik nodig heb voor het publieke opinie onderzoek dat ik doe, om te bepalen wat de beste regeermethode is, voor wanneer de waterwerken er niet meer zijn.

Het wordt een spannende tijd. Maar hoe dan ook een leuke tijd, omdat we samen zullen zijn.

I love you 💕

– Xxx – The Fangs

Die dit allemaal in een avondje op haar telefoon typte, in de crisisopvang, hopend dat ze met de opbrengst hiervan een beter alternatief heeft dan de daklozenopvang, omdat ik vandaag weg moet uit de crisisopvang. Hartelijk dank voor je aankoop 💕 .

Hoe vind je mijn verkooppiramide concept, voor de verkoop van mijn essay over de Stille Pyramide? 😏

© Lil Fangs (Dominique Daniëlle Elia) – The contents of this document may be re-sold for a lower price, but only when part of the profits are shared with the author. When reproducing the content, always mention the author.

Art, Blog, Ex Animo, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid [Tuesday, June 4, 2019]

00:35 (12:35 AM)

I just finished my essay Disrupting the Silent Pyramid! It’s the best essay/plea/call-to-action I’ve written this far, I believe 🙂 . It’s exactly 2500 words and maybe re-sold for a lower price, if the profits are shared with me. I’m going to put it in my store now 🙂 . Here’s the cover image:

Doesn’t that look awesome? 😀


01:26 (AM)

[products category=”essays-3″]

There it is 🙂 . It’s also a main menu item:

Yay :D. This really is a must-read! 😀

Please check out the product page! It includes the best product description I’ve written this far 🙂 .

I hope you will support my independent living, by purchasing my essay, so that I, in return, can support your independent living.

I’ll put this on my Instagram and Twitter, and after that, I’ll go to sleep.

I hope I’ll wake up rich and won’t have to move in to a homeless shelter or into my room in my parents’ house again. Then I could just be myself and truly make a change, and can finally leave this schizophrenia nonsense behind me. I really hope you’ll be on my side ♥ .

Good night, my love (if you’re on my side) ♥


10:49 (AM)

Good morning 🙂 ♥

With an aching chest, I’ve been seeking a homeless shelter for my situation, but I can only find shelters that include psychiatric care. (Aching because this is what it has come to.)

So basically I have about 2 hours until a conversation I don’t even want to have takes place and I will be forced to move back in with my parents.

There are no quick and easy ways to commit suicide in this vicinity. But at “home”, there are. The session that will take place at 1 PM, will be themed with making me feel guilty about the things I’ve said about my parents, followed by them listing reasons why they think I’m psychotic. So I think that afterwards, I’ll feel enough pain and strength to end my life.

In case my essay suddenly starts selling only after I die: the profits must then be divided over Thierry Baudet’s campaigns, President Trump his fight for justice, even better holidays for Victor Geskes and Benoît Crutzen, and my sister’s future (and only she may decide how her share of my funds are spent, which she may only share with her parents buy buying tangibles).

Mind you that the essay is for about 90% about life in general – touching on the aspects of The Silent Pyramid, including how to unveil someone’s identity – and less than 10% about the way I feel about my life in this situation, from the bottom of the Pyramid.

I see people looking at my content frequently and not buying anything. I don’t want to tear up my heart, trying to figure out why they don’t – unless it’s for the looks of it, for which I, as you know, don’t have the funds.

I’m still in bed. But I’m going to get up now, then get ready for the worst session I don’t want to have, and continue to contemplate suicide, for as long as people only read my free content, but don’t buy anything from me.

Ciao xxx


12:55 (PM) 

The sale of my essay will end after that ugh session. I’ll then stall my suicide until it’s clear if anyone will financially support me by buying my essay or not. It would be a waste of life dying and then finding out that there are many people I can discuss the contents of my essay with, actually peacefully disrupting it in practice.


16:25 (04:25 PM)


This is such a random week…

I was glad to come home to this new fan! 🙂 My previous one was old and squeaky… [And there will be solar panels placed, next week!]

I unpacked and cleaned my room right after coming home… Meanwhile, the sale has ended. The amount of sales is still 0. I hope I could still somehow convince some people to make the purchase.. I really need to move out 🙁 .

The Dutch health care system, for people with a low income like me, works in such a way, that you can only see a specialist after being referred by a non-specialist healthcare professional. So to be able to get a second opinion, I need to become a patient of the department I was in in 2017-2018 – the VIP department [a Dutch abbreviation for “early intervention for psychoses”]  – which is where the crisis center has referred me to, and then hope that at that department, they are willing and able to refer me to someone I can talk to, who is open to give me a real second opinion.

The only reason why I put so much emphasis on  correcting my medical record, is because I aspire to get a role in society that comes with a lot of responsibility. If I were a schizophrenic, that could get in the way of my sense of responsibility. That is why I want that out of my file: it is not true. There is nothing wrong with my sense of reality…

I wouldn’t mind if my file says that I’m depressed because I have certain ambitions, but am considered too young to make them reality, and I’m being ignored by the people whose attention I desire to have 🙁 . And that I’m lonely :(. Therapy sessions unfortunately can’t change that. But refusing therapy is against the will of my mother… I desire to start off as an official authority’s sidekick and in that way get my schedule full…

I need someone I can really talk to. And cuddle… There are so many (business and science related) things I still wish to learn, from individuals. And I wish to befriend people who do enjoy to hear my ideas about social hierarchy and stuff… Who don’t consider that schizophrenia… x_x

Meanwhile, my heart is getting more and more attached to the idea of being the lifetime companion of someone who is very tall and sexy, with a lot of responsibilities and grey hairs 😻 . I would finally have someone I can talk to, someone I’d enjoy listening to, and one of the few people on this globe I actually truly feel physically attracted to… It’s very random that it’s not someone from my own age, but I love it! (Hoping that my heart won’t be broken…) Don’t know how to make that reality, though… Aside from buying a small house near the German border and then throwing a wildly sexy house warming party for Graeynissis?

Speaking of Germany… I came home to this x_x:

Meoooow x_x. Please buy my essay ahahaha…

Mwehh I’m so lonely 🙁 . Please buy my essay and make me feel less aloneee. I’ll give you the Cishes I’ve been saving up 😀 ♥

I’m going to take a nap… And later work on my websites, now that I’m behind my laptop again… I’ll talk to you later xxx


21:44 (09:44 PM)  

Heyy ♥

My nap was good. I ate pizza borromea afterwards. Now I’m back in bed…

A week ago, just like that, I was staying in a different room. And now I’m back here. Aside from a different hairstyle, it hasn’t brought me much.

And I feel like too much has happened in this household. I shouldn’t be here. (Hehe my phone’s keyboard suggested “I shouldn’t be single”, to which I agree as well.) In practice, the situation is calm, but I feel so much underlying pressure.

Please buy my essay 🙁 . It might sound foolish to purchase a €1177.77 editable and resellable document, but the words in it are incomparable to anything else. It contains truly new information!

I want my writing to become a luxury product. Not only because I need to earn a serious income to accomplish my goals in life: I find my topics and style of writing that unique as well. I may get some compensation for this, right? 🙁

Now I live in the constant fear of getting an intervention again. My blinds are closed and my lights are off. Wishing I were alone so no one – with authority over me – can see me show this odd behavior. (Not even beginning about my odd e-mail behavior that is often ignored 😿 .) Simultaneously, I wish I had someone to make out with, so that I don’t have to think about the state my life is in.

My ambition to get enough essay sales before tomorrow, so that I have an alternative to going back to that psychiatric treatment I was under in 2017-2018, was called “unrealistic”. I know it’s overambitious, but I’d like to prove them wrong 🙁 . My alternative is searching an office job I don’t even want, and I’m mentally really not ready to start, in a job interview, saying things like: “Ik ben op zoek naar een nieuwe uitdaging.” “Ik ben een teamplayer.” “Een gezellig team met leuke collega’s.” While I actually hate it… Please make my fate a little better :(.

On my essay: I must say – though I assume that you know – that in the pyramid of social hierarchy, official authorities are further at the top. In reality, they adapt to what trend followers demand from them (or accuse them of), which puts them in a lower position in our current reality, is what I see. (But now I’m giving away the content 🙁 .)

Is anyone in the mood for rough and wildly passionate sex? Because I really want to forget that I exist.

Please say something 🙁 .


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About what?

From Project Nosce Te Ipsum to the Economics and Law that constitute Planet Fang… I’ll explain E-VE-RY-THING (including my communication strategies) in this group chat!!! 🙂

And you can ask me anything :D. I can also remove you from the chat if you’re not interested (anymore) :).

Please make a Twitter account, if you do not have that 🙂 .

Check out @LilFangs_’s Tweet:

It’s lit 😀

I just created this poll and wanted to share that with the people I follow on the social network, which caused me to create a group chat.

And now I’ll use it to give lectures about D.O.C.I.S. International [Determined Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem] 🙂 .

The spontaneous fun we could have here makes me want to do nothing else than this 🙂 .

It never ends! 😀

Change of Spontaneous Plans

It will work better on a different platform, with people who already have some background knowledge about my endeavors.

Blog, Drafts, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Reflections

#Fangyism: The Hypothesis [COPYABLE TEXT]


That is done by reading it. Please don’t let me spoil YOUR SCIENCE-FICTION ADVENTURE, by talking about it!!! Just scroll through it, and see that the text explains itself. Please enjoy! ♥

The Hypothesis

Nosce Te Ipsum I

Book I


Episode 5


The Hypothesis

By Lil Fangs

The Hypothesis
Nosce Te Ipsum I

Book I, Episode 5

Copyright © 2019 by Fangs (Lil). All rights reserved.

Owning a copy of this book is only possible by buying or downloading it yourself, or by receiving it as a gift. It may not be re-sold.

The content of this book may only be copied, when this book is mentioned as its source.

D.O.C.I.S. International

ISBN: 9789082936889

May my alternative approach to global change be accepted.

Many thanks to, and Pixabay via, for the images the cover is composed of. And thanks to GIMP for making it possible for me to make the cover.


Preface. 5

Order Aurillu: Strait Pre-Conference. 15

Creation. 58

Order Aurillu: The Hypothesis. 69

Project Nosce Te Ipsum its New Democracy 84


“____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”1 [Please state an inspirational quote or longer a citation of choice, in the name of your Nosce Te Ipsum Character.]

Between the life you’ve been living this far, my life this far, our futures, the characteristics of the era we live in, and this book, there’s a link. This episode is where it all comes together.

Our planet demands serious drastic change, but the system we have been born into, doesn’t allow for that. D.O.C.I.S. International offers an alternative, based on loopholes in our system.

The previous episodes, the “unpublished” episodes, Volta, all of the diary posts, my regular posts, campaigns, fits of anger and extremely long periods of silence: this is where all pieces of the puzzle, fall into place.

The Nosce Te Ipsum series, is a fill-in-the-gap story, which is also a survey about public opinion, regarding an alternative system of government. It is written in such a way that any episode can be understood, without having read a previous episode.

The non-profit start-up which wants to introduce this alternative system, the international Determined, Observant, Colloquial, Intelligent Stratagem, of which Project Nosce Te Ipsum is its initiative, requires all future members to be in possession of The Nosce Te Ipsum Certificate, to gain access to its Council.

Are you interested in becoming part of a non-profit start-up that searches for solutions to all types of global famine, for damage control strategies to prevent or limit the negative effects of climate change, introduces a new type of democracy and broadcasts new entertainment? “[Positive/Negative] ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”2 [Are you interested in becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International?]

Which aspect of the endeavor is the most attractive to you? “[Solutions to famine/Controlling climate change/A new democracy/New entertainment].” 3 [Which aspect of this endeavor has your preference?]

Why did you choose that aspect? “__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 4 [Why does that aspect have your preference?]

I hope that you will accept the alternative career path that will be based on the way you have filled out the Nosce Te Ipsum series. If becoming part of this alternative start-up sounds appealing to you in the first place.

You must be exposed to people trying to incentivize you to buy, sign and do all kinds of things all of the time, using advertising, mandatory (insurance) payments, influencers, euphemized promises, et cetera, every day, too. I think most people don’t enjoy that, and that this has negatively influenced our overall ability to trust.

It saddens me that it has become a global standard. I wish to introduce a new standard to life, and hope that you will participate in my endeavor.

If you think that I want to take advantage of you in any way, I, with all due respect, have to say that it disappoints me very much to hear that you think that of me. This book is free, because I don’t want the money of someone who would judge me like that.

If you think that I’m writing this to take advantage of you, please stop reading this immediately. Never lay eyes on anything that relates to the aspirations of D.O.C.I.S. International again.

Transparency and trust are very important aspects of my organization. Everything is shared publicly, with the best interests at heart.

But real trust has to come from both ways. I can’t do business with someone who can’t trust me. I can’t trust that person either, then. That is why I recommend those who read this with negative expectations, to resort to a different form of entertainment that suits them better.

If you have continued reading and are open to trusting me, you should know that D.O.C.I.S. International has a lot to offer you. When enough suiting members are found, it can support you better than any government ever has. Project Nosce Te Ipsum is here to establish that, in an alternatively entertaining way.

Valuing entertainment is important for this project, because there is a lot of work that needs to be done and explained. Many topics regarding public opinion have to be scrutinized, before any strategy can be put into practice definitively.

The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning is the title of a research paper that is still being written. It’s also the subtitle of Nosce Te Ipsum II :].

The purposes of that paper are to propose solutions to global famine for all classes, introduce new measures to limit or prevent climate change and introduce a new form of democracy. Its conclusions will be based on The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning, also known as The U.S.H.R., which advocates the independently researched public opinion, formulated by those who have participated in Project Nosce Te Ipsum. By filling out the gaps in this story, you are thus making the world a better place :].

Nosce Te Ipsum I is the survey for my alternative, independent research project, in search of The U.S.H.R., of which Nosce Te Ipsum II is its conclusion.

A solution to global famine, for example, called the Benefit Box (boxes that will be distributed after a charity performance), its contents in adaptation to the area you live in, will be based on the aggregate of whishes you can state in the next chapter.

That everyone’s answers in the Nosce Te Ipsum series, worldwide, are used as our measure (The U.S.H.R.), to satisfy the wants and needs of every acknowledged member, gives you an impression of D.O.C.I.S. International’s alternative democracy.

This episode takes away the suspense built up in previous episodes in the science-fiction part of the series, requests you to state your personal basic needs, hypothesizes your individual U.S.H.R. and gives you an overview of what has happened and what is yet to come, in Project Nosce Te Ipsum and its book series.

Order Aurillu: Strait Pre-Conference

“The effects of our Nectar are starting to decrease. We used it to extract information from you.”

As his words echo through my head, the rolling shutter on the left side of me, opens very slowly. Before he started speaking, everything was pitch black. I can’t tell for how long I’ve been here in the dark…

“You might not be able to tell fiction from reality anymore. The Hallucogenic drug we gave you, lasted for 48 hours. To you, it must have felt like more than 100 years have passed.

We’ve made you visualize a broad range of scenarios, where you were forced to give confidential information.”

My bare heels are against the soft wall. I’m lying on my back, with my arms crossed. I have been trying to uncross them, but I can’t. It’s like they’re stuck to my body.

“Even your subconsciousness refused to cooperate with us. But now your planet risks to be demolished. That is not a nice thought to you, isn’t it? I thus expect your full cooperation.”

Through the tiny gaps of the shutter – now that my eyes got used to the very bright light – I see the planet I own. Planet Fang!

If I can see my beloved planet from a distance, I must be somewhere on Zion Islony, then. To be very honest, I have no clue where I exactly am right now. The night of the Sun Power Ritual, which also took place on the Islony, is the last thing I remember vividly.

“The Unity Conference is in 24 hours… Our usual Sun Power Ritual didn’t go the way we usually do it…”

That’s right. Something happened when The Most Attractive One did her ritual dance. That’s the moment from which everything started to get blurry.

“That’s also why our pre-Conference meeting will not go the way we usually do it.”

All this time, I hear Ήολιε Κητ say all of these things through an intercom, of which the speakers must be placed in the corners of the ceiling, on the right side of me, using a slightly threatening and demanding tone, speaking as if Order Aurillu is not a unity, but his domain. We, the order, rule over the planets, from Zion Islony, the island on top of the Sun.

To Earthlings, this is contemporary science fiction, they say.

72 hours after the Sun Power Ritual – the event where our side of the Galaxy its Sun Power is re-distributed (annually) – The Unity Conference always takes place.

Back in 1984, you, I and the rest of Order Aurillu decided that The Conference in 2019 will be about The Leak.

1984 was the year of the first Unity Conference. It was the year in which all interplanetary wars were ended and Order Aurillu was formed.

You – I always think of You – are the ruler of Planet Earth. I am the ruler of Planet Fang. Ήολιε Κητ is the Ruler of Planet Κητje.

Our Universe consists of those three planets – and the island on top of the Sun, which is the colony where the ruling Gods live, including us.

You and I met when we were very young. Back when our ancestors ruled over the planets in our Universe. Our dorms were next to each other, back in Middle Ruler School, on the Islony.

I knocked on your door once, to ask for a teaspoon of salt. We have been friends ever since.

A couple of years after we first met – while you were in Earth Ruler School, and I was in Fang Ruler School – the interplanetary wars were getting so destructive that it caused “The Leak” – which is a metaphoric name for Sun Lava that risks to leak onto the planets, from the impact of their weaponry and other environmental pollution.

“The Leak” has not manifested itself yet, but from 2019 onwards, the risk could get a lot more serious, is what we discovered in 1984.

What is different from what has been a tradition since 1984, is that usually, 24 hours in advance of The Unity Conference, the Order always meets informally, to go over the contents of our Conference one last time, and spend some quality time together, at a location chosen by one of us.

Every year, someone else picks the location of our informal meeting. Last year it was DeltηPlna, the chairman of our Order, who chose our location. It was here, in the inside the Order’s Κητquarters – which is what the Order’s main office is called. This year, it’s Ήολιε Κητ’s turn to choose.

From the circumstances in which I’m laying here, I think that I’m inside Ήολιε Κητ’s Prispital, inside the Κητquarters.

He has told me that the Prispital is where he temporarily resides the ruling assistants, who are suffering from mental distress, for them to receive coaching that will get them back on track.

Last year’s rumors, however, were that the Prispital is where he tortures his political opponents. When he is done extracting information from them, they are replaced by a clone, and never seen or heard again. Our independent council, run by DeltηPlna, had never been able to confirm or deny the rumors.

“Our chairman agrees with me that I should continue to try to take… Oh, I mean… That I should take full control over our entire Universe. After what happened to your planets, we doubt if you are fit to rule…”

We have become living proof of the awful ways in which Ήολιε Κητ mentally takes advantage of people. Planet Fang and Planet Earth were the most prosperous they have ever been, on the day of the Sun Power Ritual. Of course we are fit to rule!

From the way he struggled with the word try, it seems like he’s attempting to come off more self-confident and prepared than he actually is. Our chairman is supposed to be impartial, is what we agreed on, when we funded the order. But now that the decisive moments regarding The Leak are not at all far ahead of us, the deep state within our Order, is revealing itself.

“In two minutes, your cell will open, and you will have to give us your course for after The Leak is over.”

Why after The Leak, if we, in 1984, agreed on discussing the solution to preclude the phenomenon itself, because if it happens, we all might not even survive?

I’m wearing a white strait jacket, as I lay in my extremely cramped – so cramped that there is no way that I could lay down straight – isolation cell. The floor, three walls and ceiling are all made of silk white cushions.

The ground to ceiling sized window to the left of me, with the thickest glass I’ve ever seen, its rolling stutter, is now fully opened.

“Your planet will be put on ration, when time is unfrozen. Your first task is to decide what is included in the ration they will have to split with Planet Earth.”

Unfrozen… The white tentacle shaped light rays that puncture my planet, keep my citizens frozen in time, I reason out by looking through the large window. The beams originate from the Sun. Someone has been messing around with the basic settings of my Planet…

I’ve trusted Ήολιε Κητ for so many years. This is a completely different side of him, I have never seen before.

My stress is now mixed with anger. But my body feels fear, when I think of expressing my rage. As if it could get me killed. It seems like my life is in the hands of an enemy, who I’ve considered my friend.

The wall made of cushions, to my right, is moved sloping towards the floor. Like a plane’s tailgate. I’m quite glad that I’m not leaning against it, because I’m wearing a strait jacket, and it would be hard to get up, if I were leaning against that wall that is suddenly descending towards the ground.

When Ήολιε Κητ heisted the Sun Power Ritual – our annual tradition, where the Sun Power, which is the shared valuta of Planet Earth and Planet Fang, is reaccumulated and divided over its citizens – you and I were taken captive against our will(s).

During the Ritual Dance of The Most Attractive One, we somehow became paralyzed. That is when Ήολιε Κητ harmed The Most Attractive One – the ambassador of The Sun Power System – and his men blindfolded and captivated us.

I could hear you close to me, until we were taken out of his SpaceVan.

All I remember after that, is the sting of a needle, in my right butt cheek, followed by something I experienced as a series of vivid nightmares, and a vision of someone who looked like me, called Lil Fangs. That must have been the Hallucogenic drug and its side-effects. (Our exact experiences thereof, are the contents of the previous episodes of this series.)

Again, my eyes had to adjust to light. Coming from the right side of me, this time. The soft, quilted wall has fully descended to the ground. The oasis of light that came from behind it, reveals an extension of my cell.

Like puzzle pieces, the tilted, quilted wall, fits the similarly designed floor that makes up the enlargement of my cell. At the end of it, a grey, diamond tufted wing chair, which hovers above the ground, with a light blue light coming from underneath it, is facing me. In front of tinted glass, with the round grey surface with holes in it, of a built-in microphone.

I lift my heels off the wall and swing my legs towards the ground, while I curl them. The momentum of my movement, I use to stand up. I’m limited in my movement, because of the stupid strait jacket I have been wrapped into.

As I walk closer to the tinted glass, I see Ήολιε Κητ pace back and forth on a low pace, in an oval shaped room, with a floor of white glass and a ceiling of hovering white cubes that shine brightly. He has his hands behind his back.

There are a dozen black tinted windows, separated by columns. I wonder who else, of our Order, is part of the deep state, and who else is held captive here.

“Please, take a seat,” Ήολιε Κητ says, as he nonchalantly points his hand towards my window, in the direction of the seating surface of my hovering chair, with his palm facing upwards.

His irises go from turquoise to red, when our eyes meet for a split second. He twirls around in one motion, making the same gesture to the other cells, by taking a step back with one foot, and using that to pivot.

Red irises mean that he is looking through objects. Gods from Planet Κητje can use their eyes like multifunctional spy goggles. The color indicates its mode. Yellow, for example, means that his eyes are in heat seeking mode.

I can’t see who are in the cells, and which ones are occupied in the first place. But the left one, in the left extreme of the oval room he is in, is clearly empty. The tinted glass is shoved upwards automatically, into the ceiling, and a hovering grey chair flies towards him.

When I turn around and sit down in my chair, automatically, it turns 180 degrees, to let me face the window adjacent to the oval room, again.

Ήολιε Κητ is sitting in a chair of the same design, with his right ankle on his left thigh. With his right hand, he grasps his knee and with his left hand, he’s playing with his chin and bottom lip, while leaning his left elbow on one of the broad armrests.

“It was my time to choose our pre-Conference location again, this year. So, welcome to the Prispital.” There is a combination of gentleness and bitterness in his tone.

“If I’m very honest, I did not intend my heist of the popular Sun Power Ritual, to turn into this.

In my original plan, I would gain absolute power over our entire Universe, by literally absorbing all of The Most Attractive One’s Sun Power, and then have your citizens subject themselves to my power, by introducing them to my policy of eternal feasting, forever increasing wealth and no more indirectly mandatory labor. You should have become obsolete and be replaced by a clone.

I’ve absorbed all of the Sun Power – as you have seen – but your citizens refused to live under my authority. Not long after I announced my absolute power, they started to do barbarous things, such as demonstrating and looting. We’re not used to such things on Planet Κητje, so I declared war to Planet Earth and Planet Fang, by means of stopping its citizens from wildly expressing their disapproval of my regime. That was about 48 hours ago.”

While he speaks, he flutters around the room in his flying chair. The microphone attached to his silk grey suit jacket, transfers his words straight to the intercom speakers in my cell.

“To my surprise, the declaration made your citizens’ resistance way worse. So by means of expressing my severity, even though warfare was not part of my initial plan, we bombed Planet Fang’s main interplanetary TV station.

Apparently, that station has many of your citizens addicted to its programs. The situation was getting far out of hand, when the intensity of the anger of both Fang and Earth people got so intense that their rage was not only directed at me anymore. They started to become mad at each other, for being mad. Even on my own planet.

I figured that if I restore the TV station, take away the advertising and declare peace on the main channel (FangTV), the calm would be restored and I could pursue the rest of my agenda as a ruler. But that was when the catastrophe reached its peak.

My PR team and I decided that it would make me more likable to the public, if I, instead of my usual “audio combined with large on-screen text” TV appearances, show them my speech and myself in video format.”

Suddenly, he stops hovering around and his stare becomes blank, directed to the ground. His irises turn turquoise again.

“I started off with saying that we should love each other, instead of acting so barbarous all of the time. And that my declared peace would initiate that. It was broadcasted from our Κητquarters and also aired on big screens on popular squares, throughout our entire Universe. Some people received my initial words with cheers and tears of joy.

I then said that we will have to work together, to deal with the consequences of The Leak, which will manifest itself any moment this week, due to my bombing. And that Planet Earth and Planet Fang its rulers are not rulers, but bad cowards who have ran away from their responsibilities. I said that because I wanted to keep my new power. It made my audience fall silent.

I wished them best of luck with controlling The Leak, showed them a countdown clock with how much time they have left until it happens and wrapped up my speech. Only on my Planet Κητje, all news was taken positively.

Planet Earth and Planet Fang were so outraged that I had to hack the Sun, to freeze all Planets in time. The confusion and chaos were unstoppable. It spread like an epidemic.

They were all screaming things about that solving The Leak was my responsibility, that if the rulers were missing, they could still come back and that they couldn’t understand how a man can have a face that is 50% cat’s features…” He lifts his eyebrows, which gives his blank stare an impression of in how much trouble he is, and wiggles his tiny pink nose. His whiskers wiggle along.

Quickly, he shakes his head. His facial expression is very serious, now. Still hovering still, in front of the door the chair came out of.

“The way your citizens have treated me, have made me bitter. So I wouldn’t care that much if The Leak destroys their habitat. But solving this situation and winning their hearts still is my preference.

The countdown clock stands still, as The Planets stand still, because so does their emission and pollution. So, in theory, we have more than 24 hours to solve this…”

“Did you really just say “we”!?” I couldn’t help but let go. Ήολιε Κητ rapidly turns his head towards me and jumps out of his chair. His irises turn red again. The tinted window turns purple, when I hear the sound of my own words, through the intercom, and then turns black again, to indicate the other captives from which cell the sound comes.

“If it isn’t Planet Fang’s Old Fangs. Of course I say “we”…” He says, while he takes big but careful steps towards me, with his hands behind his back.

“You live under my authority, now. If you want YOUR planet to stay in existence AND IF YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE, THEN YOU BETTER COOPERATE!!!”

He loses his temper, as he accentuates his words by tapping his fingers against the double glass of my cell so hard that a small crack is formed. His fangs lengthened during his exclamation and his venom induced saliva drips down my window he is now standing so close to, that condensation is formed on my window, by his breath.

He has become so resentful so fast. I wonder what has incentivized him to suddenly be so extremely power hungry.

It’s very frustrating to me, to have to clean up his mess and still be separated from my Planet. Now that I’m living in his trap, I have no other choice but to (at least act as if I’ll) obey him. I know how easily he can kill people without any regret.

He looks down at me, with his piercing gaze. Even though I hate to do it, I nod at him and stay silent.

After taking a short moment to breathe in and out and regain his temper, he turns around and continues.

“It is my intention to extend the time the planets have left, by putting everyone on ration, including you,” he waves his arm around in a way that indicates that he means his captives. “This is indisputable. Meanwhile, Old Fangs will be tasked with giving us a solution to The Leak, and Earth’s former Ruler ______________________________________5 [What is your Ruler’s alias throughout this series?] will be tasked with renewing the rest of our policy. The rest of you followers will have to adapt to whatever they reason out to solve my issue.

This will be announced within 24 hours, when we hold The Unity Conference, where we announce the new policy in my name, and tell our citizens that you are all not fit to rule anymore, due to mental health issues. This is also indisputable.”

He folds his hands together, without crossing his fingers. Something that looks like a smile, shows on his face.

While the window to the far right of me opens into the ceiling, and a small hallway shows, he says: “Everyone, except the former rulers, can proceed to your new residency.”

He directs his arm towards the accessible hallway, and all other windows open in the same way, except the one across me. Some people try to stand up, while we all realize that we are stuck to the chairs. As if there’s super glue on them.

“No time for chit chat, so don’t think of exchanging words in my presence. If you are looking for familiar faces you don’t see, here: they have either deserted to my camp, they’re held captive on my Planet, or they’re dead.”

I see key figures from both of our governments hover to the hallway, in a row. Each one wearing a strait jacket. My Ecologicus, Economicus, Strategicus and Technicus are in those chairs.

Your [Assessor (Head of Planetary Maintenance)/Cultor (Head of Media, Culture and Education)/Ecologicus (Head of Ecology)/Economicus (Head of Tangible Finance)/ Fiscus (Head of Intangible Finance)/Iustus (Head of Law)/Strategicus (Head of Strategy)/Technicus (Head of Technological Policy)]6 [Please choose four D.O.C.I.S. International-style government functions from this summation that interest you the most.] exited before them.

From Planet Κητje, only his Ecologicus were present.

Our windows open and our chairs hover towards each other. Ήολιε Κητ, who was standing right in between us, takes a big step to the right and faces us. I can’t help but show a little happiness on my face, when I see you in front of me.

Only you, I would want to be stuck with, in a situation like this. We’re such a good team! If we tackle this strategically enough, we might just make it out alive…

Then our chairs turn towards Ήολιε Κητ. Aside from his extraordinary height, this has been the first time that I feel that he really looks down on us. After all of the years that we’ve known him.

“We’re going to use Zion Islony’s 3D printer to print a ration to provide the citizens of our Planets with, now that The Leak is due in a week and the rebellion has stripped the Milky Κητ Universe of almost all of its resources.”

Yesss… Due to Ήολιε Κητs bombing on The Planet Fang’s Main Interplanetary TV Station. He told me just a few minutes ago x_x.

I’ve never had to put so much effort into attempting to keep my fangs in check. If I lose my temper, I risk being assassinated.

Even though there’s a risk involved, we need to find a way to escape the Prispital and regain stability in our Universe.

“I can’t be an absolute ruler and the absolute owner of a TV tower at the same time, and I hate television, so you will be in charge of interplanetary broadcasts 24/7. But you use the themes I give you and do not dare to say that I am holding you captive in the Prispital, or I will give this task to someone else and you will leave this vicinity in a body bag.”

To have become a victim of Ήολιε Κητs injustice, causes distress. But I must say that hosting TV with you does sound like a fun…

“Your first broadcast will be tonight, with an alternative show for The Unity Conference. You will have to present your Planet its rations. I want it to be something sexy. I will also announce that I’ve given you a new job, now that you have become “unfit to rule”.” He accentuates his last three words by moving his fingers up and down, resembling quotation marks, with an evil smirk on his face. We look at him in complete silence, with facial expressions that don’t reveal our true emotions.

“I will seal my new regime, by becoming my own spin doctor. With the broadcasts, we will indirectly be reprogramming the public memory I accidentally deleted.

That is why you will also have to share some common knowledge, in our first broadcast. I will be studying and judging it to become a better populist, but I’ll say that it’s my personal consumer’s research, now that I got rid of my Economicus and Fiscus.”

I see. Escaping will be easy. Populism has been powerful in the past few eras, but I have been thinking that we’ve had enough of that anyway. It’s so neglectful towards the problems our Universe knows.

The combination of truth and innovation – something that is in Ήολιε Κητs disadvantage in every way possible – is our strength. If we can prove his misbehavior, our safety is guaranteed, when we’re out of here and live among our own kind, under our own management. The TV station gives us the perfect opportunity for that.

The only other strategic challenge left will then be escaping the Prispital, without encountering any of Ήολιε Κητs henchmen.

“For tonight’s show, you need to quickly tell me what essentials would be suitable for the ration. I will leave one of the best impressions ever, if I surprise my citizens with having my solutions earlier than expected, instead of leaving them to rot, like I also considered doing.”

The chair he was sitting in, which hovered behind us, swiftly passes us and offers him to sit in front of us. From his armrest, a clipboard with a fountain pen attached to it, rise up. As he sits down, his snatches it with his right arm.

“Since you are not able to write right now…” With his free hand, he points at our strait jackets and smiles. “I will do the honors.” He quickly analyzes the papers on the clipboard, then checks his silver watch, with a serious expression on his face.

“Okay, I’m going to ask you some survival ration related questions. I want quick and simple answers, because I want to have dinner soon. To speed things up, you answer the same question after each other.

Every citizen of your planet, will receive a ration package with clothing, food and some tools. Your focus will lie on the main country of your Planet.”

(In a non-science-fiction context, you should fill this out for your country of residence. If you were born elsewhere, it would be highly appreciated if you would mention your thoughts on essentials for that country as well.)

“Starting with you, ___________________________5: What is the most serious weather condition your main country knows, in your opinion? And why?”

“[Extreme heat/extreme cold/rain/snow/other] ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”7 [What are your most severe weather conditions? Multiple ones may be selected. Please place them in the order from most severe to least severe.]

Ήολιε Κητ promptly scribbles along.

“And for you, Old Fangs?”

“It’s rain. The waterworks my ancestors have built for the country Cuddle, are not resistant to too much of it. It was built below sea level. There are blueprints to fully replace it, though.”

“Name five colors that will represent your Planet under a new regime.”

“________________________________________________________________________.” 8 [Name five colors which will represent your planet. These colors will also be used in your personalized theme.]

“Black, purple, grey, yellow and burgundy.”

“Name a traditional dinner dish you would make most people in your country, including yourself, happy with. And state its ingredients.”


“Cuddle Soup. It contains tofu, cod or chicken, depending on the preferred diet of my citizen,”

“No, my citizen,” Ήολιε Κητ corrects me.

“Of course, your citizen,” my face shows slight bitterness. “The other ingredients are xanthosoma sagittifolium, cassava, tomatoes, unions, unchopped Madame Jeanette chili peppers, coconut milk, vegetable stock and rice.”

“Name five ingredients which could be used for a meal for any purpose.”


“Flour, milk, plantain, eggs and spinach.”

“Name three spices.”


“Thyme, cinnamon and cardamom.”

“Name three edible things you would like to harvest.”


“Mangoes, walnuts and soy beans.”

“Name three things you would recommend as entertainment, if the internet and electricity were out of use.”


“Writing with pen and paper, playing card games and playing basketball.”

Loosely curling his wrist, he puts his last words on paper.

“That was it. You will be called for your broadcast, later. Thank you…” He suddenly looks at us with so much love in facial expression. As if he’s just not himself, now, or as if he, too, has become a pawn of someone else.

His chair moves aside. Your chair hovers you into the hallway first. I’m right behind you.


You are reading the final episode of the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series: Creation. It has indirectly shown you several forms of creation, regarding Project Nosce Te Ipsum.

In the development of the project and its book series, many choices have been made, with a certain strategy in mind. This chapter serves as an overview of all components of the entire first book of the series.

Creation of the Nosce Te Ipsum strategy

“Know thyself” is the theme of D.O.C.I.S. International’s initial project. Character and beauty standards, career requirements and cultural standards, induce us to conceal the uniqueness of our individuality. On top of that, our profit-based financial system’s merit depends on the way your individuality is influenced.

In our globalized world, public opinion is shaped by media, public relations and marketing strategies, I personally observe.

The media state their judgment of a phenomenon or individual, their propagations are considered fact-based, and the public blindly follows it. The same goes for the process of deciding what products or stock to buy.

This inequality, I consider one of the causes of famine: smaller parties (farmers, shop owners, artists, et cetera) do not get the chance to stand out. Meanwhile, mass production destroys Earth’s natural ecosystems.

I want to introduce a sustainable, non-profit financial system, as part of the new democracy. Its reward system will be based on participation, instead of prediction.

But to be sure that my policies are acceptable, I need to independently learn what real public opinion is. The public opinion that is natural, instead of influenced, is what I seek with this.

If the survey of this project was published like a regular survey, or was translated into a non-science fiction context, it is far easier to mold influenced standards into an answer. That is not my interest. I want to see the uniqueness, honesty and purity of people. Uninfluenced.

Those who are willing and able to reason independently, are the people I want to work together with.

Making serious positive changes in life should be fun and approachable to all. My current approach – the book series – is a way to reach a large audience and facilitate this, within the boundaries of the budget that I’m on.

After The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning – independent public opinion, thus – is found, that frame of reference will be used to check the policies for this organization, which are currently on the drawing table.

Because of this, there are some questions I also really want to ask you:

If you become part of D.O.C.I.S. International, would you be interested in moving to a compound where other members (who think the same as you) live?

“[Positive/Negative] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”14 (Regardless of the costs, would you be interested in living on a compound owned by D.O.C.I.S. International? Please explain your answer.)

Do you prefer to have a local, international or intercontinental occupation? “[local/international/intercontinental] _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”15

Would you be interested in a unique citizenship, as part of this organization? “[Positive/negative] _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”16

Now that the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series is finished, my small general portfolio of the services and the endeavor of D.O.C.I.S. International, is finished. The time has come to seek sponsors.

The audience and the project should be expanded. I want to do this by creating a campaign project for it, and making the survey a social interaction game, instead of something that only exists on paper.

If you’re interested in reading more about my strategy and campaign, I would like to refer you to

Creation of the story concept

The Nosce Te Ipsum series have a satiric character. Common hierarchical routines from our era, relive in the story its unrestrained science fiction context.

It is my way of trying to start a conversation about the topics in life that are not getting enough attention, because its situations have become so irreversibly severe that the only way to solve it, is to completely change life as we know it.

Not everyone is overly excited to let go of his or her habitual activities. Luckily I am, and this is my way of easing you into the same thing. In the (near) future, drastic change really is inevitable.

Scrutinizing every individual in a position of power, to expose and dissolve the deep state, and see who is using it to contribute to society and who isn’t, is inevitable, too, in my perspective.

Nature will not endure this fraud forever. Especially when you look at how little time is left until the dykes of the artificially created Netherlands – where I live and was born – will be overpowered by water, due to our own pollution and the fact that it is artificial land in the first place.

In Nosce Te Ipsum, you have full control over planet Earth. You’re allowed to make the decisions that determine the lives of your citizens. The way you might be doing now, or the way other people are doing this to you.

When you have completed the fill-in-the-gap story, you, like a real Ruler, will have a sharable memory of your own creation theory, a detailed report of your idea of the best way to govern society, a description of your personality, everything about the way you love and a definition of your contribution to the official constitution of D.O.C.I.S. International. It will be your fully personalized Nosce Te Ipsum II!

Everything about what is up next, can be found on this page:

Order Aurillu: The Hypothesis

Two white double doors open and a lady dressed in red ____________________________________________________________________________ 17 [What is she wearing?] enters your Prispital apartment that has been locked from the outside, since the moment you were hovered into it, about a day ago.

You know it’s locked, because you attempted to leave, when _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 18 [By means of adding to your personalized story in this story, please write down a fictional incentive for you to attempt to leave your fictive apartment].

Holding a HoloPad (the future’s tablet) in her left hand, she walks up to you, as you ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 19 [Where of your apartment are you? What are you doing?] and sticks out her hand, to shake yours.


  1. A) shake her hand.
  2. B) don’t shake her hand.


20 [Do you choose A or B? Why?]

If you’ve chosen A

“I’m very pleased to meet you, sir/madam 21A [What gender do you prefer to be addressed with?] Ruler. My name is _______________________ 22A [What’s her name?]. I used to be the program director of FangTV, before Ήολιε Κητ started to act crazy. I’m here to go over tonight’s broadcast with you.”

“_______________________________________________________________________________________________________” 23A [How do you respond to this?]

If you’ve chosen B

“_______________________ 22B [What’s her name?]. I’m here to go over tonight’s broadcast with you, sir/madam 21B [What gender do you prefer to be addressed with?]. I used to be the program director of FangTV, before Ήολιε Κητ started to act crazy.

  1. A) Say: “Sorry, I thought that you were one of those traitors. _______________________________________________________________” and still shake her hand.
  2. B) Still ignore her hand.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________23B [A or B? Why?]

The general story continues here.

“Wearing clothes that are mainly designed against the negative effects of ______________________ 7 [What weather circumstance(s)?], you will share your perspective of the four aspects of life. Is it correct that you are already familiar with the aspects, the way they are defined in Fangyism?”

“Yes, that is correct. They are Creation, Society, The Self and Love,” you reply _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 24 [What mood does your reply have? Why? Will you stay in the same position, or have this conversation in a different place in your apartment? Will you offer her any food or drinks? Does she accept you food and/or drinks, if you offer it?]

“By means of quick preparation, I’m going to ask you questions about the topics you, when we’re live, will have to speak of, without being asked about it. We start off with Creation.

Do you believe that God [____________] and/or The Universe 25 [Which do you use to reference spiritual guidance that goes beyond human abilities? What is your God named?] can purposely harm its life on Earth?”

“[Positive/Negative] _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 26 [What is your answer to the question?]

_______________________ 22 [The name you’ve given] types every word you say, out on her HoloPad.

“Thank you. That was all for that topic. Now Society,” she says, tapping the Pad a few times. New questions pop up on it. “Should policymakers be elected by the general public, by former policymakers, or by an independent collective of people, who are elected by the general public, to elect policymakers?”

“Policymakers should be elected by [the general public/former policymakers/an independent collective of people, who are elected by the general public, to elect policymakers] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 27 [Which option has your preference? Why?]

“What type of elections for policymakers do you think your citizens prefer?”

“I think my citizens prefer [the general public/former policymakers/an independent collective of people, who are elected by the general public, to elect policymakers]. __________________________________________________________________________________________” 28 [Which one do you hypothesize? Do you have any comments on that statement?]

“Which statement do you prefer: “Someone who is specialized in making political decisions should have the final say, regarding a new policy” or “Someone who is specialized in the field the policy is about, should have the final say, regarding the new policy”?”

“I prefer [the first statement/the second statement] _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 29 [Which statement do you prefer? Why?]

“Thank you for your answers. I’m moving on to The Self now.

I’m going to name a few characteristics. My question for you is to choose three that suit you best in your current state, including your reasons why.

The characteristics are: optimist, realist, extravert, introvert, thinker, doer, leader, teacher, operator, calm, energetic, unpredictable.”

“[Optimist/realist, extravert/introvert, thinker/doer, leader/teacher/operator, calm/energetic/unpredictable] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 30 [Which would you choose and why?]

“Now there are two questions left. They’re from the Love category.

Are you positive about love?”

“[Yes/No]____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 31 [Are you? Why?]

“When do you know when you really love someone?”

“_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 32 [When do you know? Why?]

A few hours after _________________ 22’s visit, a flying silver suitcase enters your apartment. It opens itself on the _______________. 33 [Where in your apartment does the suitcase open?]

In it, there are ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 34 [What does you ration outfit look like? What does it look like on you? What are you going to do to kill time until the broadcast?]

19:45 / 07:45 PM sharp, _________________ 22 arrives in a hovering golf cart, to bring you to the new TV station inside the Κητquarters.

It’s the fastest hovering golf cart ever. You dash past other Prispital apartments and cells. You see that there’s a Prispital gym and that there’s an indoor Prispital park.

Then, you approach a gate that seems as high as dozens of those golf carts stacked on top of each other.

“Before we leave the Prispital, to enter the TV station,” she says, while the cart straps belts around both of you, which prevents you from exiting it. “You should know that they have made an evil clone of you. You’re invited to the Station, for a set of pictures of you presenting the ration. Meanwhile, your clone will teach your citizens the exact opposite of what you have just said. They’re doing the same to Old Fangs.

It’s terrible, I know, but if you obey, you can gain a lot of privileges. I made that decision, and it feels like I’m almost free.

If you don’t obey at this broadcast, Ήολιε Κητ could destroy your Planet, without even hesitating.”

You will

  1. A) Sabotage the broadcast, with the risk of destroying your entire Planet, but being certain of your citizens knowing who you really are. If your Planet is destroyed, depending on your choices, you will either get a new Planet or definitively retire from your life as a Ruler.
  2. B) Obey, which will cause your citizens to be turned against you, but you will have more time to find a way to save their habitat. Success is not guaranteed. 35 [A or B?]

To be continued…

Project Nosce Te Ipsum its New Democracy

The individual decides the policy. Not “his or her representative”. That is what characterizes D.O.C.I.S. International’s policy.

The questions in the series might seem very random, but your answers have a great meaning to our future. Your perspective co-decides The U.S.H.R.!

Become an official participant in Project Nosce Te Ipsum, by signing up here:

MEANWHILE: “Lekker mezelf zijn terwijl die hartverscheurende Cold Case helaas nog steeds niet is afgesloten”


Lil Fangs
Art, Audio, Blog, Donation Forms, Ex Animo, Images, Interest & Money in Perspective, Interviews, MacroFangs, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Polls, Popular Posts, Random questions, Random Thoughts, Recipes, Reflections, The General Theory of Employment, Tips, Uncategorized, Videos

Dominique Daniëlle Elia CV (curriculum vitae) in het Nederlands

Dominique Daniëlle Elia

Praesens (D.O.C.I.S. International)


Algemene persoonsgegevens

Geboortedatum: 1 november 1996 (22 jaar)

Geboorteplaats: Rotterdam

E-mailadres: (persoonlijk)

Adres: XXXXXXXXXX Capelle aan den IJssel


Persoonlijke doelen


Op de lange termijn wil ik, door middel van het combineren van wiskundige, economische, wettelijke en didactische kennis, graag bijdragen aan de hervorming van het internationaal politiek-economisch systeem, met een (nog) sterke(re) nadruk op duurzaamheid. Dit of via het bedrijfsleven, of via de politiek zelf.

Korte termijn doelen

  • (Minstens) mijn bachelor in de wiskunde behalen.
  • Lang genoeg werkervaring opdoen om officieel aantoonbaar op hoger dan junior-niveau te kunnen presteren.
  • Mijn netwerk uitbreiden ten gunste van mijn langetermijndoel.
  • Een nieuwe strategie uitdenken om als zelfstandige dichter bij mijn langetermijndoel te kunnen komen.



  • Marnix Gymnasium: Gymnasium

Behaald in 2016

Profielkeuze: Economie & Maatschappij met Duits, Latijn, wiskunde B en informatica

  • The Open University: Open Bachelor’s Degree

Nog niet behaald

Georiënteerd op (Financiële) Wiskunde


  • British Council
    • Cambridge First Certificate English
  • European Piano Teachers Association
    • Niveau C2
  • Basis Flight Simulator certificaat


  • Neridus-IT: Boekhoudassistente

augustus 2013 – september 2016

Het bijhouden van de financiële bewijsstukken (zowel digitaal als fysiek) en de financiële correspondentie tussen het bedrijf en het (uitbestede) accountantskantoor.

  • Zowel Delfshaven: Financieel hulpverlener (vrijwilliger)

juni 2016 – september 2016

Het ordenen van de administratie, opstellen van persoonlijke budgetten, inlichten en aanvragen voorbereiden, van mensen met financiële problemen in de regio Delfshaven, in een bijstands- en/of schuldsaneringstraject.

  • Elia PR: PR consultant (zelfstandige)

september 2016 – december 2017

Het ontwikkelen van PR strategieën en campagneconcepten voor individuen, op basis van de technieken van de grondleggers van de PR, in een uiterst alternatief, modern jasje.

  • D.O.C.I.S. International: Auteur, onderzoeker, (PR) strateeg en webdeveloper (zelfstandige)

juli 2018 – heden

Het ontwikkelen van een onderzoeksproject met toekomstige bestuursuitbreiding, aansluitend op mijn langetermijndoel, door middel van een invulverhalenserie (om zo te beginnen met een consumentenonderzoek dat uiteindelijk aanduidt aan welke eisen de internationale gemeenschap wil dat een revolutionair politiek-economisch systeem voldoet). Dit concept is echter nog niet officieel aan de man gebracht en dient op dit moment meer als een hobby waarmee ik ook een zakcentje verdien.

  • ANWB: Telefonisch hulpverlener

augustus 2018 – september 2018

Zomerkracht op de afdeling gespecialiseerd in de internationale voorziening van huurauto’s voor mensen die pech hebben gehad onderweg, maar toch hun vakantie willen voortzetten.

Overige (Informele) Ervaring

  • Ervaring met koken

Ik sta al van jongs af aan in de keuken, ken veel diverse kooktechnieken en smaakcombinaties uit keukens uit vele verschillende landen (met name Suriname, Nederland, Italië, Frankrijk en India), ontwikkel zeer regelmatig mijn eigen recepten (want ik hou van gevarieerd eten) en kook ook regelmatig driegangendiners voor groepen van 5 tot 10 mensen.

  • Ervaring met lesgeven

Over lesgeven (en spreken voor publiek) ben ik zeer gepassioneerd. Ik heb in veel verschillende disciplines (bij)les gegeven, waaronder: wiskunde, economie, PWSsen schrijven, piano spelen, vechttechnieken, basketbaltechnieken, koken, Engels, Nederlands en omgaan met telefoons en computers.

  • Ervaring als model

Van kleins af aan doe ik af en toe modellenwerk op aanvraag of voor eigen bedrijfsdoeleinden.

  • Ervaring als actrice/figurant
    • Acteren vind ik ook ontzettend leuk. Ik heb hier een beetje ervaring mee (door school, dansoptredens en sketches met mede hobby video sketch makers.)



ISBN: 9789082936803

Gepubliceerd op 24 september 2018

Een heruitgave van episodes over mijn onderzoeksproject en science-fiction verhaal die ik eerder had gepubliceerd, maar later van het internet af had gehaald in verband met de controverse achter het publiceren van mijn persoonlijke verhaal in het verhaal en het risico dat dat kon zijn voor een baangarantie.

ISBN: 9789082936810

Gepubliceerd op 30 september 2018

Een introductie van het invulverhaal en de onderzoeksmethode achter het invulverhaal, waarin de lezer de protagonist is en de ingevulde informatie zal worden gebruikt voor het zoeken naar “The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning”, die nodig is voor het vinden van een politiek-economisch consensus.

ISBN: 9789082936834

Gepubliceerd op 30 november 2018

Een uitweiding van het invulverhaal, met als thema de (bedrijfs)filosofie en strategische uitdagingen binnen het onderzoeksconcept, gecombineerd met een vroege poging tot ledenwerving.

ISBN: 9789082936896

Gepubliceerd op 30 januari 2019

Een lang essay over een non-cijfermatig algoritme voor levensverbetering en de toepassing hiervan.

ISBN: 9789082936889

Gepubliceerd op 30 maart 2019

De onthulling van de spanningslagen uit het eerste boek van het invulverhaal en de laatste invulvragen die samen de hypothese van The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning vormen.

Long-read Artikelen

Publicatiedatum: 28 februari 2019

Dit is deel 1 van de artikelenserie die gaat over de macro-economische gedachte achter de organisatie die ik wil starten en over de economische hervorming van Keynes.

Publicatiedatum: 15 april 2019

Deel 2 van de serie over macro-economie in de context van mijn (hopelijk) toekomstig bedrijf, gaat in op hedendaagse voorbeelden van marktfalen en de (zelf ontwikkelde) wiskundige basismodellen achter mijn idee van duurzame hervorming.


Positief Negatief
Communicatief sterk Soms verlegen
Doortastend empathisch vermogen (Vrijetijds)workaholic wat betreft auteurschap en onderzoek
Leert snel Gebruikt soms complexe woordkeuzes en zinsconstructies



In mijn vrije tijd dans ik graag. In het verleden heb ik ballet (3-4 jaar), streetdance (12 – 14 jaar) en hip-hop (16 jaar) danslessen gevolgd. Ik heb vroeger ook judo (4 tot 8 jaar), pençak silat (6 tot 12 jaar) en tennislessen (3 jaar eventjes en toen 10 tot 12 jaar) gevolgd. Vanaf mijn veertiende tot mijn achttiende speelde ik voor Rotterdam Basketbal. Sinds mijn negende speel ik piano.

Tekenen (en schilderen en beeldhouwen) doe ik met slecht weer met plezier. Fotograferen doe ik ook heel graag. Vooral wanneer ik reis, wat ik ook erg vaak met vol enthousiasme doe. Ik ben in Nederland (Amsterdam, Texel, Ameland, Hoenderloo, Maastricht, Enschede, en nog een paar steden), Duitsland (Berlijn, Stuttgart, München, Düsseldorf, Trier, Wiesbaden en Meerbusch), Frankrijk (Parijs en diverse delen van Normandië), België (diverse plaatsen in de Ardennen en Antwerpen), Engeland (Newcastle), Ierland (Dublin), Suriname (Paramaribo en twee plaatsen in “de binnenlanden”), de Bahama’s (Nassau), Spanje (Ibiza), Italië (Rome, Udine, Verona, Venetië en Brugnera), Turkije (Marmaris en Alanya), Griekenland (Kreta) en de Verenigde Staten (Miami, FL; Baltimore, MA) op vakantie geweest, gedurende mijn hele leven, en zou graag nog veel meer van de wereld willen zien.

Verder lees ik ook graag informatieve klassiekers (zo kom ik bijvoorbeeld aan mijn PR basiskennis), ben ik bekend met programmeren met Visual Basic (en heb ik ook ervaring met programmeren voor Android, Java (in het algemeen) en C# (voor Unity)), kan ik Access databases bouwen (zo heb ik mijn eigen boekhoudsysteem gemaakt, voor mijn persoonlijke administratie), beheers ik HTML en CSS, spreek ik vloeiend Engels (en kan ik een beetje Frans spreken (en het bijna vloeiend verstaan (als het niet te snel en geen gebroken Frans/straattaal is)), Sranan Tongo kan ik redelijk verstaan, Duits kan ik redelijk spreken en vrijwel vloeiend verstaan), maak ik soms beats met Reason Lite, ga ik regelmatig naar de sportschool (voor krachttraining), houd ik van (neo-soul/rap/hip-hop/jazz/klassiek/R&B) muziek luisteren, fietsen en sprinten, ben ik de laatste tijd een beetje Italiaans aan het leren, en – last but not least – schrijf ik heeeeel veeel (voor mijn persoonlijke blog 🙂 ).

If you are interested in becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International, please read my Business Overture 🙂

Images, MacroFangs, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts

Fangyist Economics & Initiating Change [+ Keynes Part 2]

Fangyist Economics & Initiating Change

[+ Keynes Part 2]

Nosce Te Ipsum I

Book II: Society

Episode: 2
Category: MacroFangs
Publication date: March 15th, 2019

Future business concepts are not reality yet, because the debates about what change should look like, are not settled yet.

We are losing time with solely conversing about it. Fangyism is decisive. There are solutions that can be carried out in only a few weeks’ time. But there are some barriers that need to be broken, for this to become reality. In this article, I explain how this can (and should) be done.

To make my language more “cross compatible” (for there are no officially acknowledged Fangyist terms yet), I will reflect my future concepts to the way Keynes defined his future concepts, in The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money. This article thus also indirectly touches on part 2 of that book.

The Value of Labor and Produce

In the second part of The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, Keynes takes a moment to elaborate on the solution to a challenge he had found for himself, in economic theory. The economic language he wanted to use to address the general issue and his solutions, was not used by any other economist yet (Keynes 2017, p.37). In his own words, he used those 4 chapters, to define the following:

“… firstly, the choice of the units of quantity appropriate to the problems of the economic system as a whole; secondly, the part played by expectation in economic analysis; and, thirdly, the definition of income.”

(Keynes 2017, p. 37)

I will use a similar approach, to define the flaw in today’s economic assumptions and give you the fundamentals of Fangyist economic theory.

Fangyism says that the current way value is assigned to products, labor and even nations as a whole, is incorrect. That is because the competitive nature of the assignment methods – “the higher the value, the better the status” is a form of competition – is in conflict with the fragility of nature.

In a competitive market, everyone his or her labor is intended for the maximization of the organization’s profit. Simultaneously, the media monitors the economic development of firms closely and the stock market fluctuates along.

Because of the general financial objective regarding maximum financial gains, earning as most as possible, with the least amount of capital and labor, is what dominates business philosophy. Regardless of the effect it has on nature, while that, in actuality, determines real value.


An example of this, is what is happening to the Cavendish banana. Scientists are incentivized to invent new races of bananas, because the popular curved yellow fruit that can be found in every supermarket, is threatened to go extinct. Fusarium fungi are destroying the plants and the soil they grow in (Reynolds 2018). (In Dutch, the illness of the species is called “Panamaziekte”.)

The consumer knows this, because the media have covered it (depending on their reach and audience). Other than that – in the western world – it seems to be business as usual. The bananas are in high demand, and the market is still competitive, so the price of the banana is kept low, and quick solutions are sought.

In the Netherlands, the short-term solution to this problem is to grow the Cavendish plants in glass houses, on rock wool and peat, instead of on regular soil (abroad).

Yes, in this way, the demands of our large and growing population are met. But our system, in this way, disregards the financial safety of plantation workers, and gets naturally grown high quality foods closer to extinction.

That is why – though it will not be in favor of many – Fangyism says it is better to let the price skyrocket, in a context like this. It is a better incentive to find a good solution to this problem of the risk of extinction.

As long as there is no alternative, collectively, the value of a banana should be based on the relationship between the amount of people who want the product, and the amount of products available. Prices would become higher, but nature would be treated better.


The Fangyist system, therefore, guarantees its citizens a basic income (of essential products) and uses a system to assign value to a product, which is based on availability, instead of on “competitive value”. This requires the use of calculation methods that are different from the ones we know and use today.


Calculation Methods of Today

The gross domestic product, also known as GDP, is an indicator of the total value of a national market. It is used as a controversial way to compare how wealthy a country is. But quality of and access to education, quality of and access to food, quality of and access to health care, and other sustainability related concepts, it does not indicate.

There are different ways to calculate the GDP:


  • The production approach
    By adding up all gross value added for goods and services, adding received taxes to that and subtracting product subsidies from that.
  • The income approach
    By adding all employees’ incomes, profits (or gains) of businesses and incomes of small and unregistered businesses to that, plus all received taxes, and subtracting subsidies.
  • The expenditure approach
    The equation for this calculation method, Y = C + I + G + (X – M), is known as the Keynesian model of macroeconomics, where Y (GDP) is equal to C (consumption), I (investment), G (government expenses), X (export), minus M (import). (In Dutch schools, this is Y = C + I + O + (E – M).)

In theory, every calculation method should have the same value as its outcome. Whether this is true or not, in the end, the value does not say anything about available resources and intellectual capital in a country at all. In Fangyism, available resources and intellectual capital (including individuals), is what determines national value. It does not acknowledge any of the GDP calculation methods.

Government expenses, for example, can, in my Fangyist optics, never be seen as an addition of value. By way of illustration, let’s say milk farmers are having financial trouble, because people are not buying enough milk, so the government keeps bulk-buying extra milk, until the farmers earn enough to not go bankrupt. This expense cannot be seen as an addition to national value, because of the following reasons:

  • The product was bought by means of support, because no one else was buying it, so it does not have its purchase value after being bought, because no one wants it. (It could have basically been given away for free, or have been used for a milk-themed pool party.)
  • The product has a due date.
  • Tax money has been spent to waste natural resources (though artificially sired Holstein cows exist, which I consider unnatural cows), just for the sake of keeping the prices in this economic mechanism low.

Another example of controversial added government value, is the taxpayer money spent to celebrate the king’s birthday as a national holiday. (I am sure that the holiday is valued, but when it comes to nature being stripped from its resources, it is not an addition.)  Before I tell you what calculation methods the Fangyist system does acknowledge, I would like to zoom in on another aspect of my digression.


Labor’s Total Value

Keynes defined the total value of labor, with the following equation:

E = N x W

Where E is the total wages and salaries, N stands for the total amount of employment and W stands for the (marginal) wage-unit. This means that N = 1 resembles one hour of labor for a regular employee. An employee with special skills (who receives a higher salary than a regular employee), his or her value of N is based on the relative difference in hourly rate.

So, for example, a firm has two employees, of which one is regular and the other one has special skills. They both work 5 hours. The regular employee is paid €10 per hour, and the employee with special skills is paid €20 per hour. For the regular employee, N = 5 and W = €10. For the special employee, N = 10 and W = €10. It follows that:


E = 15 x €10

E = €150

In this context, the value of labor is based on skill and/or education, and the amount of hours the employee has worked. Productivity, actual capabilities and inflation are not part of this calculation. Today, (in the Netherlands,) inflation is taken into consideration when a salary is calculated, and performance/productivity bonuses exist.

However, Fangyism does not consider an addition to the value of a nation, because many types of labor add more pollution than improvement, to nature. Any action that includes environmental destruction, for the sake of making profit, can never be seen as something that is beneficial to a country.


Fangyist Functions

Fangyist economics is a sustainable alternative to modern economics. Fangyist equations can be used by both firms and nations. Its outcomes are precise values, instead of estimates, indicating its value and indirect development status. They (solely) apply to the Fangyist system, of which all aspects are non-profit. As long as that system is not established yet, its functions are arguable.

The Value of Labor

The Value of Labor function, indicates, when results are compared over several periods of time, the general value and efficiency of Fangyist employment. It looks like this:

L: Labor, is separately measured in tangible Fangia (tF) and intangible Fangia (iF). (They can, in reference to part one of this article, still be renamed RLF and DF.) For nations and firms, in which both tangible and intangible goods and services are delivered, the total value of labor, is calculated in the following way:


L = LtF + LiF

N: The value of N, is the total of employees that have been/will be paid in tangible Fangia and/or intangible Fangia. Keynes translated this value to hours of labor and pre-defined skill about which price agreements are made. Fangyism counts one employee, regardless of whether he or she is educated or not, or has some other type of distinguishment, with the value of one. It is the calculation in between brackets that determines the monetary value yielded by an employee. So one uneducated employee and one employee with 6 PhDs, both solely working with tangible Fangia, give us: NtF = 2.

The total amount of employees, is distinguished in whether they yield and work with tangible Fangia and/or intangible Fangia. If an employee works with both tangible and intangible Fangia, his or her returns are calculated in both the tangible and the intangible labor function. For administration purposes, the total can be calculated like this:


N = NtF + NiF

R: This value stands for the return, which is what an employee earns back, in either tangible Fangia, or intangible Fangia.

I: The investment of resources, needed to yield the return, are deducted from the returns earned by the employee. This value includes not only what is literally needed to create the product or deliver the service. It also includes the employee’s cups of coffee, pollution from commuting and anything else the employee wouldn’t be doing in that measured period of time, if he or she weren’t working for D.O.C.I.S. International or one of its partners.


Let’s say we have a Fangyist business that sells art of an artist online and from the artist’s home studio. The Fangyist value of labor, is then calculated in the following way:

Value of Labor 1 Jan 2019 – 31 Jan 2019

i [Employee] Intangible Return Intangible Investment Tangible Return Tangible Investment
1 [The Artist]

iF 96,348 * 0.5

iF 0

tF 15,630 * 0.8

tF 5680

2 [Web development and web maintenance]

iF 96,348 * 0.3

iF 1,235 tF 0

tF 653

3 [Sales & Correspondence]

iF 96,348 * 0.2

iF 429 tF 15,630 * 0.2

tF 1864


iF 96,348 iF 1,664 tF 15,630

tF 8,197

When this is done for every month, which is a requirement for Fangyist accounting, individual and overall labor. The salary of a Fangyist is his or her basic income – which is equal for everyone – and what he or she has earned, which is his or her individual total of R – I. The way a salary is divided into tangible Fangia and intangible Fangia, depends on the choice of the receiver.


Fangyist accounting requires every single investment done to be reported (including indicating for which employee the expense is made), to keep a clear overview of the state of available natural resources and other products in a country.


The Value of Produce

A second basic equation of Fangyist economics, is the Value of Produce. An individual product (or service), is valued in the following way:

For a single product:

P is the value of a product, in either tangible Fangia, or intangible Fangia. Which Fangyist valuta is chosen, depends on whether the product is tangible or not.

Q is the total amount of available products at a certain point in time.

D stands for the amount of people who demand the product.

This is multiplied by the multiplier of tangible or intangible Fangia, which is determined by all supply and demand traffic on Planet Fang.


For an accumulation homogeneous products:

The Fangyist value of an accumulation of products, is calculated by multiplying the value of a single product, with A: the amount of products (to be) sold.


Routinous Jobs

As you might have noticed, Fangyist labor gives an individual employee a lot of responsibility, and is more focused on different disciplines working together, than having large individual departments. All routinous jobs should be replaced by artificial intelligence, is one of the things a Fangyist lives for, to accomplish. I have several reasons why I believe this:

  • It is more reliable
    Productivity of AI is much easier to estimate, compared to the unpredictable productivity of a human being. There is also no risk of the device committing fraud, or loses out on productivity, because it has been gossiping in the coffee corner for too long. Aside from maintenance, it does not come with unpredictable costs.
  • It allows for easy, limitless improvement
    When a technique evolves, AI can evolve much quicker, compared to a human being, who needs to follow a re-education program and needs practice.
  • It is far more sustainable to nature
    An electronic device that runs on sustainable energy, pollutes a lot less than a human being, who pollutes the Earth by (most methods of) commuting, lunch breaks, requires office parties etc., and often still depends on technology (and the added pollution thereof), to do his or her routinous work.

One of the first objectives of D.O.C.I.S. International, aside from the general construction of its corporate state and compounds, is to implement this shift at once, for every nation and/or firm who is interested in forming a partnership with this organization.


Initiating Change

The change D.O.C.I.S. International aims for, is the rapid implementation of solutions that will make the common routine of life a more diverse experience, in a way that is the outmost sustainable.

To make the Fangyist system officially existent, the first step is collective currency conversion, officially establishing the Fangia. This is what happens after the second part of the D.O.C.I.S. International Partnership Agreement is signed collectively. Conversion is withheld, until the total value of the assets to be converted, is more than enough to fund our new state with.

The more-than-two-factor selection process, is designed to filter out those who are the best at keeping up with the level of complexity and responsibility this organization carries. This is because every officially registered and acknowledged member, is co-owner of the organization.


The Debate

Fangyism is extremely controversial. Still, some form of consensus, together with those who do not accept it, has to be found. That is why the debate is set up around the following questions:

  • Is the Fangyist system fair?
  • Can the Fangyist system last, in practice? Or will society’s common routine of life disrupt it, the way it disrupts nature?


Potential Outcomes

For an overview of Fangyists and non-Fangyists, in accordance with the Universal Standard of Human Reasoning, potential outcomes of the debate are pre-defined (though any other type of outcome is welcome as well):

  • We all agree that Fangyism is the way to go, and everyone qualifies for it
  • There is no consensus, thus a new parting of cultures will emerge

    This means that the world will then run on the modern economic system and the Fangyist economic system, parallel to each other, but as separate closed economies. Reasons for disagreement could be the following beliefs:
    • “The Fangyist system is not my utopia.” / “I don’t believe that the Fangyist system is an improvement to society.”
    • “I don’t want my life to change.”
    • “This is too difficult for me to understand.”


What is next?

As long as D.O.C.I.S. International does not have any ambassadors or sponsors, I will continue to attempt to make myself heard through text, until enough funds are acquired to deliver the message of D.O.C.I.S. International beyond its own digital realm. After that, the Fangyist system could be put into practice.

You will be kept up to date of the organization’s development and the moment the official (non-digital) debate takes place, by signing up for Project Nosce Te Ipsum.

Hopefully, by the time the next part of the MacroFangs part of the Nosce Te Ipsum series is released, there is a debate to discuss…


Reference List

Keynes, J.M. (2017), The General Theory of Employment, Interest & Money Wordsworth Editions Limited ed, Hertfordshire: Wordsworth Editions Limited

Reynolds, M. (2018), The banana is dying. The race is on to reinvent it before it’s too late [online], Wired [Viewed on April 14th], Available from:

RTL Z (2018), Wageningse wetenschapper bedenkt oplossing voor zieke banaan [online], RTL Z [Viewed on April 14th], Available from:

Click here to read MacroFangs part one, called Looking at Markets Differently [Keynes Part 1]

The featured image is made by Adrianna Calvo, downloaded from

I chose this image, because the Fangyist system is an economically safe, transparent and honest one, 
and Fangyist economics in practice, is a collective effort. 
An umbrella resembles reliability during bad times, and in this image, the sun is shining. The multitude of umbrellas, resembles the collective.
Blog, Nosce Te Ipsum, Polls, Popular Posts

What is your personal life time income?

Mine is €7.473.878,-. (But this number is solely based on the incoming and outgoing payments of my main bank account, so the official number – which is still being calculated – will be more or less.)

A personal life time income is the total amount of money added to your bank acount(s), over your entire life span.

It’s a funny trick to show how worthless money actually is 🙂 .

How much are all of our lives literally worth? What would that say about the status Earth’s resources?

I suppose the number would say as less as the status is severe. That’s why we should transition to the Fangyist financial model.

It will be included in the third book of Nosce Te Ipsum. I hope you’ll get calculating and share your intel with me 🙂 .

Since what we’re doing to our planet is destructive to nature, the amount of access an individual has to resources, really has to be calculated differently. Is should be calculated in a sustainable way. Like in the Fangyist system, for example 🙂 .

Change will come, soon. Are you interested in becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International?

The featured image is from Pixabay.

Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts

The Hypothesis [Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 5]

Proudly, I present you: the publication in which all loose ends of my former publications, come together. This is the final episode of the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series: The Hypothesis. What has happened to us, after The Sun Power Ritual? Will we be able to prevent The Leak from destroying our Planets? It depends on the decisions you make, in continuance of the fill-in-the gap science-fiction satire.

The Hypothesis (Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 5)
Blog, Nosce Te Ipsum, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Strategy

Becoming member of D.O.C.I.S. International more efficient than Voting? 

Yes. That’s why, when you vote, you should put my (your own) name on that voting paper, and draw a check box in front of it. Then check that box. 


De Verkiezing voor de Provinciale Staten en WATERSCHAPPEN. 20 Maart. Lil Fangs for Praesens. 

I’m doing thisssss. 

You know about it. 

Thanks, mate

The featured image is taken by Element5 Digital. 

A "U.S." style voting box, for a post about "Dutch" voting. Shouldn't those elections be broadcasted internationally as well? The sentiment that comes with "Human Rights". It's suitable. 
Blog, Nosce Te Ipsum, Strategy

D.O.C.I.S. International’s Business Overture

I’m going to do it!!! Potential investors will be approached!

For almost two years straight now, I have been developing the concept for the future of our existence, with D.O.C.I.S. International. This far, I’ve been working towards it, without any investors and/or professional support. It was a nice challenge for my talents, but it has been very exhausting. And without a proper budget, it won’t be possible for me to realize the goals of this Determined Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem.

I consider my idea THE Golden Egg, which makes me a bit afraid that someone else would use it and claim creatorship. But transparency is one of my core values. I really want kind hearted people to join me on this journey, so I share everything with you. It’s important that you know what you’re getting yourself into! 😋

Here is my attempt for the growth of my non-profit publishing and charity brand. You’ll see why I speak of macroeconomics, when I speak of D.O.C.I.S. International.
Business Overture

The featured image is made by Samir Belhamra @Grafixart_Photo.

I chose this image, because it shows multiple forms of growth, just like D.O.C.I.S. International will do, and just like the Overture shows.
MacroFangs, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts

Looking at Markets Differently [Keynes: Part 1]

We were all born into a world that was already shaped, before we got here. We didn’t have to figure everything out from scratch. Language and the monetary system, for example, were already here, before we got here. Our predecessors have left us the knowledge their legacies were based on, which we learn in our education programs, to keep the world spinning.

They have introduced us to a way to interpret life, which has held up for decades. Even though some of their concepts have even evolved into far more modern ones, the foundation has not changed. That it lasts for so long, shows that it’s a pretty solid construction. But should we go on like this forever?

Our environment is fragile. More fragile than our system treats it, with its “unstoppable” emission and scaling. Quick radical change is inevitable. That’s how I see it.

In the MacroFangs series, I explain the concept of the alternative economic system I have in mind, while discussing one of the fundaments of our current economic system. It’s an economic shift, which starts with a shift in economic interpretation.

For Whom is This Written?

To explain the economic shift I want to cause with D.O.C.I.S. International, I’ll use another change in economic interpretation, as my starting point. In The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, originally published in 1936, economist John Maynard Keynes, the founder of Keynesian economics, sheds new light on classical economics (Keynes 2017). The philosophy that was introduced in this masterpiece of him, is still taught in schools worldwide, today. It’s part of the foundation that determines how we perceive economics.

The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, was published to start a discussion about whether to accept or deny Keynes’ alternative view, meant as a way to settle difficulties of theory (Keynes 2017, pp. 3-5). The build-up of it and its content, will be the guideline of my explanation. It was addressed to other economists. About the involvement of the public, he said the following:

“At this stage of the argument, the general public, though welcome at the debate, are only eavesdroppers at an attempt by an economist to bring to an issue the deep divergences of opinion between fellow economists which have for the time being almost destroyed the practical influence of economic theory, and will, until they are resolved, continue to do so.”

(Keynes 2017, p. 3)

Having a Voice

Today, the general public has a louder voice than in the past. (Via the (social) media) it demands to be fully informed of any reforms or “big happenings”. I think that if there were a revolutionary debate going on that includes serious global action, they will surely want to know the ins and outs of the means of it and how it will influence their own living. But still, even today, I think he’s right about leaving the real discussion to those who really know economics, who are the authorities in this debate. If we’re discussing the Fangyist system, I hope I may be the chairwoman, though.

I’m not an economist. I’m a Fangyist. And I, too, want to start a serious large-scale intercontinental debate about the implementation of the system I want to introduce. A bit similar to Keynes’ revolutionary endeavor. “The general public”, however, of which I make part, in this context, should definitely be involved in my debate!

Just like there were disagreements between economists when Keynes wrote his gem, there seem to be disagreements between economists today. Currently, there’s a New-Keynesian movement and a New Classical movement (Keynes 2017, p.3; Preceden sine die). I hope that I can get both of them to agree to one thing: the Fangyist system works.

This is written for everyone. Literally everyone. I try to explain everything as simple as I can.

I just indirectly discussed the preface of The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money with you. In the rest of the paragraphs of this article, we’ll discuss the first book of this magnum opus, called “Introduction”, and the principles of the Fangyist system. It has six books in total, so this (ini)mini series consists of six articles.

As I mentioned earlier: I’m not an economist. I hope you’ll learn something from the economic knowledge I state here. If you’re an expert: I would sooo love to hear your opinion(s) about my interpretation. Do you agree/disagree? I hope you’ll sign up for my website and join the discussion. May it evolve to something beyond this blog. I hope I’ll interview Graeynissis about this and other aspects of Project Nosce Te Ipsum, one day 🙂 .

Trippy Postulates

Karl Marx was the first to speak of “the classical economists”, by which he meant David Ricardo, James Mill and their ancestors. Popular followers of “the classical school” are John Stuart Mill, Alfred Marshall, Francis Ysidro Edgeworth and “Professor Pigou”, to which Keynes often refers in his The General Theory. Before he changed his mind, he was a follower of the classical school as well (Keynes 2017).

The way the postulates of classical economics are interpreted, can have disastrous consequences, he says (Keynes 2017). I think he has this view because of what he has experienced after “The Roaring Twenties”. The classical school had no official justification for the sudden decrease in production and historic unemployment rates during the Great Depression. It was something their postulates didn’t hold up against.

Keynes defined the postulates of the classical theory of employment like this:

“1. The wage is equal to the marginal product of labour.”
(Keynes 2017, p. 11)

[Please don’t forget that he considered the postulates incorrect and that I fully agree with his reasons why]

In other words: the salary of the employee, is the value of the amount of product(s)/service(s) a single employee delivers. Basically that means that the employer pays you a salary worth a laptop, for example, and you earn him or her a laptop’s price worth in the company’s product(s)/service(s), in exchange. Right after mentioning the first postulate, he wrote that this is only so when there is fully equal pay (Keynes 2017).

During the Great Depression, salaries for the same jobs were lower than they were in the years before. Employers were struggling after the crisis that followed after the stock market crashed in 1929. (Also regular [(marketed) trading for consumers isn’t new]) people lost the savings they invested into shares (and back then it was normal for investors to borrow money to buy stock), so they consumed a lot less. That made companies earn less, so they weren’t able to pay their employees as “comfortably” as they used to. The Great Depression came with great insecurity (History 2009).

Fair Finance

I hope that today, it’s not acceptable anymore to lend money to invest. Especially not for digital currencies… Personally, even though part of what I currently offer is e-books – though in the future this won’t be my main product at all – I think that giving things that are digital a monetary value, is something that is in great conflict with the fragility of nature. Because if the internet didn’t exist – the internet is not a direct product of nature – all of this extra value wouldn’t exist. It also wouldn’t be possible to spend the millions you’ve earned online, to buy products that require natural resources.

I believe that there should be two different types of money: one type of money to buy tangible/real-life things (and services), and one to buy intangible/digital things (and services). It’s included in the Fangyist system. Real Life Fangia & Digital Fangia seems like the right way to split our one Fangyist currency into two sub-currencies. But maybe splitting it into Tangible Fangia & Intangible Fangia, is even better for our environment. What do you prefer? Real Life Fangia (RLF) & Digital Fangia (DF), or Tangible Fangia (TF) & Intangible Fangia (IF)? When you receive a Fangyist salary, you may choose your own ratio. Fangia in general will be valued based on its comparison to the dollar, and the sub-currencies will be valued among Fangyists. The Fangyist system is a fully independent system.

The concept of wage will be completelyyyyy different from what we know today. I’ll get to that later. Let’s dive into the second (and last) postulate 🙂 .

Who Wants To Work?

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life slaving 9 – 5, and I believe no one should be (indirectly) forced to do such thing. It’s such a literal waste of (life) time. But it has been deep-rooted in our evolution. The world is kept spinning by great percentages of its population sacrificing great amounts of their time, to, in the end, have done something a computer could do by now, and at the end of their lives, they have never had the opportunity to truly get to know themselves and exist and grow, in a manner that money doesn’t influence their decision making. It saddens me. I want to see a world where that freedom does exist. That’s what the Fangyist system values the most. Employment will include a lot more freedom, if I succeed.

The second postulate is something of which even Keynes’ alternative to it, is incomparable to what Fangyism could do to the concept of a job as we know it. The second postulate is stated like this:

“2. The utility of the wage when a given volume of labour is employed is equal to the marginal disutility of that amount of employment.”
(Keynes 2017, p. 11)

Marginal disutility means the financial “inconvenience” (for the business) of adding that unit of labor. In the case of the postulate, but not in reality during the Great Depression (and today), this means that if a salary is lower than what the employee wants, he or she won’t work. During the financial crisis in 1929, a lot of people settled for lower salaries, so that shows that the equilibrium stated in the postulate, is incorrect.

I think that in today’s society, there’s a great(er) mix between financial needs. Some have so much money that they don’t know how and where to spend it, so they need more (suitable) opportunities to spend, and some are, like in 1929, settling for lower incomes (and jobs that are “below” their level of expertise), because they can’t find a suitable job. Like so there are more extremes in needs. By extremes, in this context, I mean (the frequency of) individual options in the mix of financial needs.

The Fangyist system offers a perfect balance for all extremes. Not only because your basic income is based on your personality (addictions not included, if they are part of your personality): working 9 – 5 will be unprofitable for both you and me, because as many jobs as possible will be computerized! Based on your profile, you can be requested to complete certain assignments, only human intelligence can solve, when that is needed. That’s how flexible your work hours are. The rest of your extra income, is based on what you contribute to society individually. The Fangyist system is all about sustainability, as you might have noticed.

[Every time I say “I think”, please feel free to confirm or deny my statements 🙂 . Of course, the same goes for everything else written here, but when I say “I think”, I’m not fully sure. Otherwise, I would state it as a fact.]

Bringing It All Together

In the classical doctrine, people assumed that “Supply creates its own Demand”. They spoke of profit, under the condition that the Aggregate Supply Function (Z) and the Aggregate Demand Function (D), were at equilibrium (Keynes 2017, p 27).

The aggregate supply price is the total paid for a certain amount of output, by a certain amount of employees. This translated to a function, looks like this:

Z = ϕ(N)

Z means the aggregate supply price, and N means the amount of employees (Keynes 2017, p. 26).

The Aggregate Demand Function, displays how much revenue a business “will” make, with a certain amount of employees. Its function looks like this:

D = f(N)

Where D is the amount of revenue and N is the amount of employees. Thus the equilibrium for “classical” profit is:

ϕ(N) = f(N)

So the prediction of profit was solely based on the amount of employees hired. That point Keynes called “the effective demand”, after which he stated a dozen reasons why that equilibrium and the assumption that “Supply creates its own Demand”, are incorrect (Keynes 2017, p. 27 – 34). He ends his explanation with this:

“It may well be that the classical theory represents the way in which we should like our Economy to behave. But to assume that it actually does so is to assume our difficulties away.”
(Keynes 2017, p. 34)

I consider that the sweet words of empathy, towards the classical economists that had to surrender to his (revolutionary) economic philosophy. If “Supply creates its own Demand”, and employment is all that matters, it would be normal to say: “I will make a profit when I have 40 employees.”

Maybe if you’re the only baker in a small deserted village, and you’re intuitively 100% certain that producing 100.000 breads is too much, it could make a little sense to base your profit on employment. (Assuming that the village won’t suddenly throw a “Project X”-style festival, where everyone wants bread.) But even then, employees shouldn’t get sick and be equally productive. It sounds crazy to my modern ears. If “Supply creates its own Demand”, I would have been a lot more successful already. (But I don’t mind, because all of this is just the beginning 🙂 .)

In the modern doctrine, the expected profit is based on the amount of products manufactured/services delivered. Generally, we speak of profit when the marginal revenue is equal to the marginal cost [“MR = MC”]. That’s because then, the difference between total revenue and total cost is the greatest, so the most “extra revenue” (thus profit) is earned [“ΠQ = TR – TC”] (Cartwright & Wallace 2016, pp. 301 – 344). It’s a lot better than the classical doctrine, I believe. But I also believe that it’s time to take the next step, and transition to a more evolutionary conviction.

We all know how wild markets can behave, and/or what bad publicity can do to the success of a business. Especially in this digital era: 10000 clients today and 500 tomorrow. (Or the other way around, of course! (That’s what you hear more often.)) No doctrine holds up against that unpredictability, currently. Marketing, public relations and the media, take over, where statistics and mathematics become limited, due to a non-algorithmic cause, I think.

I think “Supply creates its own Demand” is very incorrect. But I think that in today’s society, “Effective Marketing creates its own Demand” applies very well. And that includes the media’s comments on the stock market, which I perceive as indirect incentives given to the public, to buy or sell. Most success stories of a business are about marketing, and simultaneously the story itself is marketing. (Those stories do great at parties, if you can be touched by that sentiment.)

I believe that there are many reasons why “Effective Marketing creates its own Demand”, applies to the behavior of today’s consumer. With the way owning or wearing/using a brand can give someone a name. And free choice exists legally, but the options to choose from you are notified of, are determined by the advertising of the highest bidder and the algorithm based on your previous choices.

Consider demand something that is currently based on whether an individual likes the “look and feel” of a product or not, rather than what it’s actually made of (otherwise McDonalds wouldn’t exist). (And correct me if I’m truly wrong.) Production then (solely) depends on the conversion of the reach of quality advertising and indirect marketing. (I believe that that – including that I need much better graphics and audio – is the sole reason why I haven’t succeeded yet.) This is the market I’m a player in, and my intention is to shift it as a whole. It’s not what my former school book says, but I guess I’m looking at markets differently.

(R)evolution in this context

The goal of profit maximization exists in both the classical and the modern doctrine. Keynes has delivered a beautiful contribution to the improved definition of it, the way we know it today. But for the sake of our environment, I really think it’s time we start working for something else than ΠQ = TR – TC.

I consider it my duty to direct the reform of the system on this planet, before I leave it. I hope you’re interested in joining the debate, and that you’ll sign up for my newsletter, so that I can keep in touch with you.

The next part of this series will be released after the release of the newest episode of the Nosce Te Ipsum series. The Hypothesis [Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 5], will be released on the 30th of March. Part 2 of MacroFangs about Keynes, will be released on April 15. (I secretly hope to be able to start the debate before having released the second part.)

Please tell your friends about this! 😀

I love you

– xxx – 

Reference list

Cartwright, E. and Frank, R. H. (2016), Microeconomics and Behaviour 2nd (European) ed, London: McGraw-Hill Education

History (2009), Great Depression History [online], History, [Viewed on February 28], Available from: [this is not an “official source”, but I think it’s true, what the page says. If you think it’s not and you see “the facts” differently, please let me know 🙂 ]

Keynes, J.M. (2017), The General Theory of Employment, Interest & Money Wordsworth Editions Limited ed, Hertfordshire: Wordsworth Editions Limited

Preceden (sine die), History of Economics [online], Preceden, [Viewed on February 28], Available from: [again, this is not an “official source”, but I think it’s legit]

The featured image I found on, originally uploaded on

I chose this image, because I feel it resembles the destruction of the environment, that comes with the incentive of maximizing scale.
Blog, MacroFangs, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts

Introducing MacroFangs :D

For every subject field the to be established version of D.O.C.I.S. International touches on, I’ll be writing a (theoretical) blog series. The first one is called MacroFangs 😀 . This is part of Project Nosce Te Ipsum.

Such big fangs? Yes!

Usually, when a single business is analyzed, microeconomic theories are applied. But in this case, because of the intended size of operations, the types of services intended to be offered, and its to be established economical and legal individuality, macroeconomics will apply to this business concept as well 😀 .

To make sure that I use understandable language for my potential experts, and for the sake of feeding my common knowledge, as well as including educational elements in my blog posts, I want to let the theories that form the fundament of our current system, relive, and derive from there, with my writing, to explain the type of business I’m trying to establish.

The category of the publications is called MacroFangs, because, even though other fields of the subject of economics, such as finance (since within the Fangyist system – which is D.O.C.I.S. International in its economical and legal individuality – money will be valued differently) will be covered, too, the macroeconomical aspect of the business is the most unique feature of its concept.

We still have options. Everyone will understand.

When D.O.C.I.S. International is established properly, it can influence all cycles of the system, on its own, and, if everyone allows this, replace the current cycles with something more fair. Something more fair towards the individual and something more fair towards nature. If people choose to be (or stay) conservative, the concept can exist as a parallel, instead of as a replacement.

To explain the exact workings of the business concept, in a language that suits general – as in regardless of when and if the person reading it was educated – common knowledge, I’ll first define the theories my theories originate from, before I define the concept. Until now, I’ve defined the concept for myself, in non-official terms only I would understand, reasoning from the end result I’m working towards, back to what the world is like right now. MacroFangs will make it fully public.

For someone who is unfamiliar with what I’m exactly working towards, whether he or she is familiar with economic doctrines or not, to understand my theories for the official establishment of D.O.C.I.S. International, I’ll break it down, starting from how the world as we know it is built up (economically), to how I would shift it into something I consider a better, more fair way to govern life. I find it very important that those who decide to become a part of this, know the ins and outs of the alternative fulfilment of life I’m trying to establish. (And everything about who you’ll be working with 🙂 . )

You could already get on board (pleaseeeeeeeee)

Currently, D.O.C.I.S. International is registered and findable as a publishing company. That’s only for correspondence purposes, while I further develop the concept, satisfy my hobby of writing, and will later very actively seek investors. My full-time search for investors and other types of supporters will start when I’m done writing the series, but, of course, you can reach out to me at any time. My e-mail address is and my phone number is +31618579724. You would be the greatest support, with an incomparable contribution to my personal history and the history of D.O.C.I.S. International, if you would reach out to me, before I start my very difficult search for someone who would want to take the time to process this. (My only source to find an investor is the internet…)

Your support would be a contribution to my personal history, because I’ve devoted my life to finding that one alternative indestructible business concept, which now needs confirmation from the specialists in the fields it touches on, and the (aggregate of) investment(s), which can set in motion the economic and legal individuality of D.O.C.I.S. International: that indestructible concept.

Economics before Law?

I speak of legal individuality. Legal independency might cover it better. That’s because of the types of law(s) that will apply to those who decide to transition to the Fangyist system. The legal side of D.O.C.I.S. International is the second part of this blog series, where the depths of that will be broken down. Economics is what the first part of the series is about: MacroFangs 🙂 .

The series begin with economics and are followed by law. I want to tell you about how this world was built up. I’m not talking about its shape. The Big Bang Theory versus (or featuring(!)) religion will be part of the last part of the series.

In this case, and only in this case, for the sake of clarity, economics will be discussed before law. Because the actions that stem from economical incentives, are “tamed” by the law, is how I see it. And I think it’s more clear when the business concept is explained before I dive into its legal construction. So in that vision, it’s economics first and law second.

Noooooo. In any other case, I believe that law comes first, and finances and other aspects of choice come second. Otherwise we would be speaking of injustice, I believe.

I’ll start off my theoretical journey by analyzing The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, by John Maynard Keynes. The treasure of Keynesian economics.

For every chapter of the book, I’ll translate his theories and philosophy to my own words, and put them in perspective. I’ll reflect it to todays world, and to my concept for D.O.C.I.S. International. The first post about Keyneses analysis, will be published online, right here, on the 28th of February. If you would like to be reminded of that date, please sign up for my newsletter 🙂 ♥.

If you keep up with the Nosce Te Ipsum book series, you’ll notice that some (theoretical) elements mentioned in this blog series, are and will be used there as well 🙂 . (The newest episode thereof will be released on the 30th of March 😀 . )

I hope that one day, I’ll publicly interview (my) specialists about the topics that will be addressed in this series.

The featured image is made by Nizam Abdul Latheef, originally uploaded on

I chose the image, because what I want to do, is create a fully individual system, within the system, and the image shows an altered image of a city, within the image of the city, in a crystal ball.
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A More Reader-Friendly Approach, Saying What’s Next

I don’t want you to miss out on pieces of writing that you might enjoy. The titles of my diary posts don’t reveal its content. There’s an extensive range of types of content in (almost) every day, but the excerpt of its first 40 words does not reveal that at all!!

The focus was on the moment the text is written, instead of on what the text is about. A lot of passages of my diary could have been published as separate articles. It’s cool that I now have a written memory of part of my real-life experience, to reflect on, when I’m old, grey and successful. But after this impulsive realization, and the thoughts that went out to those who keep up with my blog, I quit adding new posts to the already high stack of diary posts immediately. So, from now on – especially because there’s quite a lot to read here – things on here will be categorized differently.

Instead of sharing real-time thoughts with you, I want to share more theoretical details of the process of establishing D.O.C.I.S. International (what is visible on its website is not the full business concept), far more open to different inputs. We’re starting off with The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, by John Maynard Keynes 🙂 .

Writing a post about my interpretation of the theories of Keynes doesn’t go as fast as writing a diary post. That’s why it seems like I’m falling silent, while in actuality, we’ll be scrutinizing the economists words (e.a.) and I’ll translate it to what I want to do with D.O.C.I.S. International. I’m using “old school” theories, published decades ago, to base my theories on, because, even though the doctrines might be replaced by something more modern, they’ve still played a huge role in shaping this world. The posts that are coming up next will show how it all sticks together (literally and figuratively)! 🙂

In short, the way I’ll tackle things is by separating posts about theories, strategies and feelings, instead of putting them all in one diary post. The theoretical posts (or its spin-offs about my philosophy) will be released at least once a week. Things about strategy will be released whenever one is pushed through. And my feelings I’ll only share in Ex Animo poems from now on, leaving out the details of those involved and their actions. 

Aside from the Project Nosce Te Ipsum page I’m also working on (it’s currently a visible draft), I’m going to stop with uploading drafts and then editing them online until they’re done (or never touch it again). I find it cool that I’ve showed how I work and that I do everything by myself, but not everyone might understand my process, or even wants to see it. So I’m going to act more like a regular blogger. I’m all about comfortable (and exciting) reading!!! And SEO and stuff… I’m also going to pay more attention to the SEO of my posts. My diary posts and drafts weren’t optimized at all, because they weren’t really showpieces of what I’m capable of.

In case the term SEO is new to you: SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization. It’s there to make sure a website and its content are well-indexed by search engines.

The coming few days, I’ll finish up the state of my websites, so that it will perfectly suit my (impulsive, but much better) approach for what I want to achieve. Simultaneously, I hope to find my source for a regular income – still on that job hunt – and to legally settle the painful issue with my family once and for all.

I hope you’ll love my new approach! (I hope that more people will regularly read my blog, because of this.) Please, sign up for the newsletter, so that I can engage you in my process more 🙂 ♥ .

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No More Online Diary Posts!

After 253 diary posts, I have decided that it’s time to use my writing talents for something else. 

I once started my online diary, as an initiative to comfort people who live through things they can’t share with others. To be someone they can relate to, who relates to them, while being surrounded by people who have no clue of what we’re actually going through. 

It was also a way to show fully day-to-day life, in real-time, expressing all of perception: from thoughts to actions to feelings. Something that has never been done before, in the way I did it. 

I’m going to miss the way writing a diary post feels like laying on the chest of a beloved Graeyniss, who listens to me in a way that warms my heart. For the sake of future confidentiality, it’s better to stop it now. 

My thoughts and feelings, will be expressed with pen and paper again, in my tangible diary, the way they were, before I started my online diary. 

What I’ll be doing instead, excites me so much! I’m going to show you all of my research process! 

I’m going to analyze classics from several fields, to define a certain connection they have with each other. Not only do I want to show you the truth about the way all of life has been organized, from a multidisciplinary scientific perspective. I want to show you how we could improve this in a way that goes beyond imagination!  

This is shift part of my Volta’s Plan B

It feels like the end of an era. 

I love you ♥


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Thursday, January 17, 2019

00:21 (12:21 AM) 

The new home page of the D.O.C.I.S. International website is done 😀 . Besides the “this website is being edited”, which I’ll take away when I’m done with all pages. 

I love that I’m finally outing my publisher’s approach! The reason why I kept waiting – and actually sort of still should be waiting – was because I wanted to have more than one publicist [now it’s only me ahahahah], before I transformed my site to that format. With those almost (to be) empty publicists [because saying “propagandist” is too controversial (apparently mainstream people will think that you’re evil when you use this term… I guess the annoyance from that stupidity secretly also made me very…), but when it comes to the diversity of our content, it feels like that word covers the load a lot better] and publications pages, I worry about coming off as a lot less than I can be. But at least now it’s very openly clear that I intend to publish for not only myself. And that I’m attempting to build an empire.

The reason why I’m doing it now, is because I might find suitable publicists at the university 🙂 . I won’t publish a “51 shades of grey” [that’s a joke for a new book’s title… That’s how I find how creativity looks these days… With my unique approach, I hope to raise the bar…] or anything else in that meaningless category of entertainment. You can go to any other publisher in the world for that. Knowledge and wisdom – wisdom being my specialty [because to me, wisdom > knowledge and I detest citing other people’s findings/philosophy] – are the fundaments of D.O.C.I.S. International as an exclusive brand. 

I say “at the university”, because that abstract use of words don’t show that when it comes to finding the right people, there’s so much uncertainty. Also, from many experiences, I’m quite certain that I should not target students for this. Not only because many of them are actually not independent thinkers (it sometimes just seems like that, because they memorize other people’s content in such a way that they start to consider it part of their identity (and then there are superficial people who are worse)). Also because for the size of the endeavor behind my business, I need people who truly know how life works, or at least I need them to know what their purpose in life is (because I need to know what would make them happy after the shift). 

But real Graeynissis are so hard to reach 🙁 . I hope being a student will work in my advantage. I hope I’ll even be allowed to just have a personal list of Graeynissis to approach for my thesis [just give me a letter of recommendation or something… I won’t survive the student experience until post-doc level…], who would also like to become my publicists, and skip out on all of the student mental slavery nonsense (kan jij niets aan doen…). We could even make a short series of videos about how we’ll establish everything 🙂 . Meooow! 😻

Here are some pictures I’d like to share:

In my diary post of two days ago, I mentioned that I was going to make soup. I made this picture to insert it in the article, but I never did. I used okra, plantain, some yam, celery, unions and a tomato. 

Today, I made these shrimp. I let them rest overnight, in a marinade of ketjap manis and thyme. The next day (today), I added garlic (because I had to buy it, but the best would be to let them chill in that, too). I used griesmeel and paneer (“breadcrumbs” (but they’re in a carton package…)) instead of flour and paneer, because there wasn’t any and it’s a waste of buying it, if it will never be used for anything else [but now I’m in the mood for pancakes… I’m still broke as fuck, though……..]

They were veryyy tastyy

My “natural” approach to attempting to cure a sore throat… It’s going a bit better already 🙂 . But swallowing still hurts a lot… Talking luckily doesn’t (that much) anymore 🙂

Something really random that happend today, was that I got a call from some telemarketeer who wanted get me in touch with this agency of brokers. [That stupid KvK registration of mine gets me phone calls like that.]  And me expressing my “I don’t feel comfortable with gambling. It might be a hype now, but I don’t believe that we’ll go on like this forever. The value is fictive,” didn’t make her say: “Okay. Bye.” “Arguments” for were: “But with these expert brokers, you can make great profits!” “How would you find it if in future, we would all be trading instead of working?” Of course, every sheep would say: “Yay! Infinite money and infinite watching movies!” I said: “I would kill myself.” 

She was trying to get me to click a link she mailed me and sign up for something. For some reason, I really just can’t hang up in someone else’s ear. Even not when even my fucking heart (rate) wants it. I ended up obeying her orders and I was transferred to one of her experts – whose name is very cool 🙂 – who was trying to get me to buy Amazon shares. Because they’re expecting great appreciation in the market for them. (I believe that in the end, it’s the influence of the media, indirectly incentivizing people to anticipate on the prediction, which causes the actual appreciation.)

[To me, mathematics > statistics…] I found his phone lecture on analysis of those “market volatility boxplots” [is how I’ll summarize it, because I suck at memorizing jargon] very interesting. At some point, I said that I would like to try it with ten euros. At the beginning of the conversation, he told me to download AnyDesk – a “controlling your desktop from a distance” application. After some hesitation – just like with the telemarkeer who started the whole thing… I fucking hate that this forcing people to do shit is found normal in our society – I did “make it happen” [hahahahahahaha… It’s funny because I think uni Graeynissis are Cuddle] and then suddenly, while 30 minutes ago I was busy paneering shrimp (unfinished, because I wasn’t able to just hang up), someone I don’t know, who spoke English with a (sexy) foreign accent [but where he was from, I couldn’t tell… Eastern Europe somewhere…], was drawing lines on a series of plots he opened on my laptop screen. 

When I gave in with the ten euros, he opened a screen to sign up on some trading website and asked me to fill it out. The form included a promotion code area and fields for my credit card number and the security code. All of my instincts told me that I shouldn’t show that information to anyone, but I still did it. He filled out a deposit of €1000. I told him that it wasn’t going to work, because I don’t have that much money literally anywhere – I really don’t understand why people always assume that I have money. 

I told him that I could deposit ten euros (haha) on my prepaid credit card. When I showed him my debit account [it has -€487,57, my limit is -€500 and I have no income (still I would truthfully rather die than do the routine with fixed tasks and colleagues thing again… Never again [hi uni], thanks 🙂 )]. He tried to up my limit, but I told him that changing a limit is only possible when you’re out of the red. Of course people never believe my word and it had to be tried first. And when my brokeness was confirmed – because what’s a broker’s profit with a deposit of ten euros – the conversation was ended. I ended the screen sharing and deleted the AnyDesk application right after, and “ran” CCleaner… 

I have such mixed feelings about trading. That ten euros was because since the moment I started to give in to that telemarketeer, I started to think: Yes, I know it will all collapse one day. But everyone is milking it right now. Why should I keep myself from it? It might get me out of trouble… (But it will never get me the profits I need anyway. That ten euros…. Hahaha that would all vanish to paying all of the parties in between, anyway.)

Such an unethical thought… I’m glad I still have my last ten euros 🙂 . Please become my publicist… Yeaah another reason why I waited with the format of my business website, was because I wanted to be able to invest in your brand, as a business, by means of paying for your (initial) campaign, and then earning from a small share of what your campaign will generate for you. Now it will be the opposite… So I’ll be your publisher – so basically all I offer is 100% of my brainpower and my skills, but no money (yet) – but you’ll very unfortunately have to do the initial investment yourself… You won’t regret that part of your full independence, though! (And that in the beginning we might have to outsource instead of be full monopolists… The company is still “in its baby shoes”. But I love what’s ahead of us! ♥)

More about this after waking up…! “Tomorrow” doesn’t apply, because it’s now 02:19 AM, but I still “”need” to do my long sleep” otherwise I [= actually the daylight] might [make me¿] feel like shit.  I wonder if sleep, in general, really is necessary? Haha oh yess but of course I don’t want to go against “science”. Just like “the Earth is round”. [I have never seen that in real life, “with my naked eyes”, so…]

“Break of screen gazing” applies better than “sleeping”, I guess. I’m just chilling with my Head Cuddle and sometimes take a nap. Never do I sleep longer than 4 hours in a row. 


Good night

I love you! ♥


13:48 (01:48 PM) 

My Cuddle ♥

I hope your day is Cuddle 🙂 . I would like to change my statement about not sleeping longer than 4 hours in a row: I do sleep longer than that, when I have a (long) dream.  I want to make a drawing of what I saw, again! (The moon part…) It was about that humans cultivated the moon’s landscape (its craters were changed into very big patterns) and that on the night the moon, by changing itself into text for short periods of time, announced that it was going to shoot fire from the sky, which was going to make all water of fire (“because moon fire is veryy hott”), I was staying in Amsterdam and the family friends who own the house I live in (with them), were on a holiday on the moon [with my family], so I was here chilling with their son [tripping about that my parents’ house is next to water and all of my grandfather’s books would burn… (All houses seemed larger in my dream.)]. After dinner and playing Halo in his room, I suddenly kissed him…? I felt my conscious body’s heart’s distress [my dreams are always lucid], being in that This could lead to an “Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing?” and a great dose of heartache afterwards, or being pleasantly surprised…? worry. And then, the rest of the dream, we were kissing? There wasn’t even moon fire to notice? Haha I feared I was going to be stuck in some nightmare, but it was quite a fun dream 😋. I woke up slightly past twelve AM (for the first time in a long time).

Now I’m going to eat, write [(featuring pen and paper) by means of creating an overview for my websites and motivation letter], shower and wash my hair, and then work on my business website (and motivation letter, hoping that I can finish it all, today…). [You should know that I fall in love very easily, but never out this (first). And that I love too many people to have a traditional relationship (ever again). I hope my future life will include a lot of true love and a lot of nerdy things.] Meow 😸 xxxxxxx. 


15:56 (03:56 PM) 

A change of plans made me write this article. I’m still in bed… Having my all-seasons blanket from “home” here, and a more convenient room temperature, allow me to sleep with only my panties on again (super yay :D). 

If this were my own home and I were by myself, I would enter the kitchen wearing only my panties, as well. But it isn’t and there are guests downstairs. I might not be able to resist socializing with the family friends’ (steph-)grandchildren, but that would mean that I, again, am another day away from completing my admission. 

I’ve been thinking of writing a What not to write in an motivation letter post and including that in my admission letter, as a link. That’s because I won’t be able to say all that I want to say, in that letter of max 400 words, and there are things “I want the university to know” [haha enallage¿ ooh no personification haha. My babyy ♥], while those are officially not things that will make someone say: “She will be an amazing student!” (Truthfully, I doubt if I’ll survive the dreadful routine and suicidal thoughts that come with being a full time student who has to attend 70% of all tutorials and has to make homework and stuff… But my life depends on it, so failure is not an option (anymore)…) 

So I’m now going to quickly shower, while playing music (as usual, by the way) [and hope that my hunger and the heat from the shower won’t make me pass out], postpone washing my hair with another day (because twisting my afro takes time too haha eww), and go downstairs – with intentions of binge eating… Will be starting my day with dinner…? x_x And then I’ll see if I’ll be able to concentrate on working. My desk is, as it is in every place I’ve ever lived in: the dinner table. I need a sexy office :D.


16:15 (04:15 PM) 

By the way:

Sort of not bad…. Especially after quitting all other forms of social media, aside from ASKfm

Not bad…?

But still no people reaching out to me or anything, so meooow 😿😾. Okayy now I’m really going to shower xxxxxxxxxxxx


Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Doe eens iets geks? 

Iets wat ik nog nooit heb gedaan, is een post helemaal in het Nederlands schrijven. Wat betreft grammaticaregels [ik kan het beter “alleen maar uitzonderingen” noemen] is het sowieso een verschrikkelijke taal, dus wijk ik algauw liever uit naar een wat toegankelijkere taal. Puur om geklaag te vookomen. 

Vele Nederlanders hebben me aangeraden om eerst te beginnen met het veroveren van de Nederlandse markt, voordat ik internationaal ga. Ik heb drie heel zwaar wegende argumenten om dit niet te doen: 

  1. Het doel van mijn missie betreft alle landen ter wereld, [JA, “KOMMA EN”] en het Engels is een internationale taal. 
  2. Gezien de ecologische constructie van Nederland, is Nederland niet voor altijd, en ik wil graag iets nalaten aan volgende generaties. (Haha snap je wat ik hiermee zeg?)
  3. Het Nederlandse propaganda is heel erg “ons” en “zij”, en “hier is alles beter” wanneer het gaat om Nederland en het buitenland, en dat vind ik zulke fucking onzin. Die stommiteit past ook niet bij wat ik wil bereiken. Voor mijn gevoel hoor ik ook niet bij “ons”. Ik ben mijn eigen team. En ik ben heel selectief wat betreft het kiezen van mijn bondgenoten, want als er een land is waar opportunisme bijna volledig in de nationale cultuur verweven zit… “Ik organiseer een evenement en wil graag dat je erbij bent.” “Njaaa ik weet het niet… Volgens mij heb ik die dag…” “Entree, eten en drinken zijn voor jou gratis.” “Hoe laat?” (En dan moet dat grappig zijn? Is het dan ook grappig dat ik zo serieus wil emigreren? Natuurlijk heb je dat soort mensen overal, maar hier heb je niet eens de ruimte om ze te ontwijken…)

Ook dat binnen de nationale cultuur, geloven dat echte internationale voorspoed mogelijk is en geloven dat volledige zelfbeheersing mogelijk is, worden gezien als psychosen… Dat de meerderheid volledig talentloos is, wil niet zeggen dat het gelijk voor iedereen onmogelijk is. 

Van mij mogen die dijken kapot, echt waar. Dan is het probleem ook opgelost. Het zal uiteindelijk misschien zelfs wel moeten, want het land is eigenlijk al zo onherstelbaar failliet. Ieder jaar wordt alles een stukje duurder, de absurde overbevolking wordt een stukje groter en viral trends en million dollar strategies worden steeds dommer, voor het proletariaat en hun routines die al langer hetzelfde zijn dan dat ik in leven ben. Stel dat ik ook een proleten leven zou gaan leiden leiden [je weet wel, tot mijn 65ste (mijn generatie moet sowiso door tot ze 80 zijn), elke dag naar het werk, met dezelfde collega’s, op dezelfde plek, waar je steeds dezelfde anekdotes hoort… In de zomer ieder jaar naar dezelfde camping, lekker goedkoop… HAHAHA (Om heel eerlijk te zijn, ga ik letterlijk, zonder enige twijfel, liever dood.)], in plaats van het volgen van het pad dat alleen ik kan volgen, omdat (blijkbaar, helaas) alleen ik dit inzicht heb en er een oplossing voor heb. Hoe waren jullie dan van plan om al die studie leningen terug te krijgen, terwijl de vergrijzing bekostigd moet worden en dit land nog verder in verval raakt, terwijl men alleen maar dommer wordt? 

Too bad you gave me that fucked up diagnosis, and I’m tired of trying now. Good luck 🙂 .

Haha daar komt de aap uit de mouw, nietwaar? 

Happy 2019

– xxx – Lil Fangs 

Meow is the administrator account of my blog, which I fully maintain myself. This is Lil Fangs, too 🙂 . 

Met dit ene artikel heb ik letterlijk elke ongeschreven regel die er binnen het vak public relations bestaat, gebroken. Het is gewoon tijd voor iets nieuws. 

Blog, Drafts, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections

A trauma

Who would you listen to? A group of people who express their care about someone, by, with a large budget, starting a campaign about how they miss someone and how that person “is now a lost cause”, because she has smoked quite a few joints, then became a lot less socially active person and decided to never come home again, or “the lost cause”, who has a very alternative view on the world and is, with a very low budget, trying to change the world, currently by legally bending the law, from her bedroom at her parents’ house? Apparently the choice was very easily made for a lot of people, since I am still without any active support. But I won’t give up. At least not before December 31, 2018, 23:59. This is Lil Fangs for President

A Brick Wall

That title was chosen in an attempt to keep your attention. Trying to get my message across, is like yelling against a brick wall. Right underneath your nose, I live through one of the most hidden forms of injustice, every day. Without any official support, it is not possible for me to escape from it. 

The way people are treated within the (Dutch) psychiatric system, is so inhumane.  The worst part is that once you’ve been in it, they can monitor you for the rest of your life. 

Imagine that you, a perfectly sane person, are suddenly snitched by someone very close to you, and suddenly every day psychiatrists come visit you at home, and they talk to you as if you don’t know how to count to ten, and they start to prescribe you all kinds of pills, of which they say that it can influence your reasoning and it will make you function normally again. 

In the beginning, you refuse to speak with them, because you’re not ill the way they claim you’re ill. But they keep telling you that you are, and that you should obey them. The person who has snitched you, keeps telling you that the measure is “The right thing for you and that everything will be okay.” You’re not allowed to leave your house anymore, as long as you keep refusing those pills. You can’t raise your voice at them and/or become violent, because when you do, they will inject you with their quackery and put you in a very cold isolation cell, with only a mattress on the ground and a toilet bowl next to it. With a camera in it, fixed on you. 

Are you with me on this one, that if you become stuck in such a situation, and everyone you ever believed in is suddenly telling you that you need help, while that what they call help, is making you feel offended, that it’s logical to just take a few of those pills and say that you’re doing better, so that you can leave the house, with the intention of never coming back? [And to (I did not expect that to happen in the future) never apologize to those who blame you for making them worried, because you suddenly left and were nowhere to be found. But you have told them plenty of times that you do not want that psychiatric surveillance in your life.]

I wish my first impression to the world would have been different. It’s hard to recover my reputation from I don’t even know what lie they have exactly told you about me and my well-being. All I know about that, is that when I Googled my name, at that time, “Dominique Elia vermist” [vermist means missing], was a search suggestion. When I search the same thing now, I see this:

Why this is a problem to me, is because I want to know what people have seen, so that I can debunk it

I have been told that after I was found – the full story on that, if you’re interested, is written out in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I – everyone was ordered to delete the message that went viral. What the fuck went viral? I need to know. Why delete it, if it has gone viral already? Then I’m the only one who doesn’t know. 

The reason why I was so against being under psychiatric surveillance – so much that I decided to run away, after they started to speak about that their surveillance period is at least 12 months – is because of my aspirations. 

My aspirations are not literally to become president. I strive towards an independent form of influence, on a beyond-government level, accompanied by a select group of people. In my view, achieving international eternal peace, is possible. 

To many people it isn’t possible, which has been one of the grounds based on which I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia.  I find it outrageous that someone’s pessimistic view can define my entire life. With that diagnosis, I don’t agree with, I could have been denied access to enter the United States. By still going there, I intended to make a statement and hoped that the diagnosis could be reverted. To succeed in that, I need support from other people. 

The people in my environment don’t believe that I’m sane, because my parents have told them that I, one day, packed my suitcase and told them that Benoît Crutzen is going to come to our house and I’m going to leave and never come back. They responded to that statement of mine, as if I said it while I was not fully conscious. But I remember every single fucking heartless thing they have done in that period. They never asked my why I said that or what we were planning to do or anything. They just started to laugh at me and forbade me to see him. 

The day I packed my suitcase, was the day before I had arranged to meet up with him, to talk about a possible campaign, when I still had a PR business. I then did not know that over the next 24 hours, there were going to be several fights, that ended up in me shunning my parents for five days – things were not going well with my business and Benoît was my last hope, for success, paying off debts and friendship – and psychiatrists coming to the house every day. 

When I packed, I was aware that that wasn’t part of the plan we had discussed over e-mail. I was just that desperate to move out, because my parents do not want me to move out the way I want to move out, and thus they will never give me funds to move out. They might give me a little money to help me buy furniture or something, but the support I need, I won’t receive, they have told me several times. 

Blog, Nosce Te Ipsum, Reflections

2019’s Reform

My original strategy for making large-scale changes to the system, was very subtle. It was my intention to accomplish it independently, instead of doing it via the democratic system – because I don’t believe in it. For the change I want to make, which includes a more eco-friendly economic system, as well as a safe haven in case the Netherlands flood again, I want to buy an island and declare it an independent state, with its own constitution, its own currency and an alternative legal system. Throughout my writings, Planet Fang – which is what I want to name the island – and my plans for the construction of it and way of life on it, as well as the recruitment for it, have been mentioned very often already. My original strategy was to fund the purchase of the island and guide the recruitment for the island, with sales from the Nosce Te Ipsum book series, which include an indirect personality test. This year has taught me that, to receive active engagement, I will have to simplify my content and use different media, and for that, I need initial funds that go beyond what I currently own.

Attempting to earn enough to buy an island, without any investors and without having a mass media campaign with imagery [also without years of working experience and without a zillion PhD’s], to inform the masses about the ins and outs of my endeavor, has been a very exhausting and time consuming occupation. Whatever happens, next year, my strategy to accomplish the same endeavor, will be different. It should be less exhausting. It should include togetherness from the start, which was what I was trying to accomplish with the project I intended to guide with my books, which is explained throughout my books.

In my diary post of December 23, at some point, I got the idea to attempt to accomplish my endeavor via the Dutch democratic system. Since I want a lot of people to live on my island [but not too many. What I would define as “too many” depends the size of the island I can buy. If my audience becomes that large that the island doesn’t have enough space to live, I would like to buy compounds in other countries, if that’s possible], and my economic system includes the provision of a Fangyist’s basic needs by the Planet Fang government – including a self-designed house, depending on the initial funds and contribution – it would actually be quite fair and more healthy for me to not have to pay for everyone’s future living, and seek another way to accomplish the same thing, in a way that is also less time consuming and more collective.

I’m a Dutch citizen (born and raised in Rotterdam), and the Dutch democratic system is very accessible – when you have the initial funds to enter. It would give me the stage I need to raise awareness on my endeavor, it would give me a salary and I could get in touch with the public more easily. But simultaneously, it takes away my independence and it could maybe lead to all of the public claiming a spot on my island. I would love to save everyone, but the amount of space on my island is limited. Also, the official next elections are in 2021, and that is way too far away from now. With the current crazy amounts of pollution’s emission into our environment, day in day out, the risk of this country flooding might be closer than it seems. This is not what I want to raise awareness on, because it can only lead to chaos [another uncontrolled mass migration, and to Dutch citizens, the European borders are all open], and every citizen of this country has been made aware of this since “de basisschool”, so the topic is not new to them for sure. (Being consumed by life’s routine could make someone not think about it often, but it is in there somewhere, in the minds of everyone.)

To those who can help me build a new and better world, I want to offer shelter and a new life. The meaningless routine we drag ourselves through, will be obsolete, one day. My project leaves a lot of room for new pioneers to step forward. Real pioneers.

I will start a multi-component fundraiser on this website, to start a campaign to raise awareness on my endeavor and start the recruitment for it [with the contents of my thesis, but then in a form that is ready for mass media], to purchase the island, to buy out the Graeynissis I need the expertise from, needed to finalize my strategy, to give myself a life in which I’ll be able to fully focus on my project without being disturbed by nonsense, and the list goes on. I hope that by this time next year, I will at least not be alone in this anymore.

Meanwhile, the reform has been reformed. Read all about it, by clicking here.

Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Thursday, December 27, 2018

00:22 (12:22 AM) 

My love ♥

We’ve almost gotten ourselves through the holidays. I hope you’re enjoying the experience, but have not become so attached to it that you’d be one of those who insist that the annual routine of life right now, will be the exact same in 30 years. I think I have a healthy alternative for you. There are many things on my list for today. Regarding my political aspirations and the current state of my business (branding). I hope I’ll finally be able to break down everything on Graeyniss level and I pray you’ll anticipate in it. Not only for the greater good (in the context of all of nature). It’s also for the Volta I so desperately need. 

But first, I’ll get some rest. The cooking and being semi-social [I just reallyyy suck at small talk] has drained all of the energy I had left. I’m going to put away my phone, before I start writing entire essays to you and collapse from this fatigue. 

I love you ♥

Good night


11:14 (AM) 

Good morning ♥

I just dashed downstairs to eat some left overs. Now I’m back in bed. I’m still tired, so I’ll close my eyes again. But I just had some inspiration for today’s post and I want to make sure that I don’t forget it. 

To summarize what I want to touch on today, I’ll start with a – to me – less heavy topic, by elaborating on that statement from yesterday about wanting a companion. From there I touch on achieving my goals via politics and the topic of togetherness in that, plus the topic of my “social network” (family, family friends, friends) and the background check [because of which I was trying to get those psychiatry people to let me review my fucking medical records, but they didn’t allow me to do that, even though I have the right to… I’ll tell you in advance that things will be different than usual with the involvement of my social life in my career. I’m not going to be smiling on pictures with these people. Not only because I don’t have time for it and I don’t fucking want to… All my free time is for my Cuddles and Graeynissis. Feel free to check my background and the backgrounds of everyone in my social realm. Especially the US government is allowed to, according to our “privacy laws”, which were first Dutch and are now European] that comes with entering politics. (Haha I learnt so much about politics and spin from watching Scandal.) 

And then I’ll figuratively take you along with me, as I finish the D.O.C.I.S. International website, file that depressing revenue tax report and make a donation button/page for this website. I also want to make a beat, but that might be happening tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ll finish everything on the list for today, but we’ll see. This is what I always do, but now you, my Graeyniss, have a holiday, after 10000 years [I’m pro give my Graeynissis their lives back], so you can tag along 🙂 .

I’ll be napping until 12:30 xxx


11:47 (AM) 

Reasons why I feel like emigrating to Antarctica and spending the rest of my life in an ice cave by myself:

I do not want your fucking tips, Facebook…

You won’t mind if I delete all of my social media accounts, right?

Okayy little break. I’m too triggered to fall asleep because of this now haha… [Because only with superficial things you reach the masses, apparently. Oh or with details on horrific ways how people’s lives were ended. Blub blub blub, niqqu. Ha-ha just kidding… 😀 ]


12:40 (PM) 

Meow 😸

I’ll stay bed petty, until I’m done with the elaboration, then shower and get behind my laptop. Maybe also take a walk, because I spend too much time inside. I would say “I need some fresh air,” but for that I’ll have to drive all the way to Germany. 

Yesterday, I suddenly missed the social isolation that comes with being in a relationship. If you’re with the person you’re dating, in a group setting, it’s not that much of a foul to, when the table conversation is going on (and it sucks), figuratively close yourself off from it, by talking to the person you’re dating. 

I’m not saying that I want back the exact isolation I was in when I was with my ex, which included a lot of sex, a lot of weed and a lot of unnecessarily heated discussions. I’ve retired from that type of relationship (and smoking weed so frequently). Now I’m in need of something more Graey… 

I cannot talk with anyone in my social environment about this [I mean I can, but they all use the same proletarian TV script in their responses, about how it’s all hopeless and can’t be solved]: I don’t trust today’s democratic politics with the way the solutions to problems are temporary. It’s like they patch up the world’s issues, by means of pleasing the people, while things should actually be replaced, because those patches don’t last forever. In the future, they might all wear out at once. The world can’t last the way it does. 

For example, look at all of the old cars Dutch people drive. (From all of the countries I travelled to, only here you see so many cars that just look like they can fall apart at any second.) For the short term, our current insurance system, in which I have a tiny bit of working experience, is very nice for the consumer, because they’re less incentivized to buy new cars. For the economy and our safety, it’s not good. Car manufacturers are incentivized to produce more eco-friendly cars, but the masses don’t buy the most recent car the way they buy the most recent iPhone. Can you imagine that day the Netherlands risks to flood and all of those people with their cars from 2001 start to cross the border, with their beasty moods, seeking for a new way to survive abroad (illegally)? Truthfully, I don’t really want to be the Dutch prime minister for four years. I just want to make sure that that proletarian diaspora doesn’t happen (in an uncontrolled manner). I was very young when it happened, so I wasn’t that aware of how the world works, then – I’m still learning, even – but I bet the Netherlands were screaming and shouting the loudest, when there were debates about opening all borders in Europe? It’s so in their advantage, when the dikes flood. I find that the borders should be closed again. 

Gotta pee xxx


13:19 (01:19 PM) 

I’ve been alone all my life. In the beginning, I really was alone. Or at least only surrounded by family, family friends and neighbors. I interacted with them, but the reason for our “friendship” isn’t/wasn’t because we get along so well or because we have a similar character, interests or a similar personality. No. The reason is causality and I have been trying to free myself from it. (But I really need some Graeyniss assistance to succeed in this… Please claim this catje 🙁 . (I’m the catje 😸.))

After being called “ongezellig” so often, as a child [my future self [I am now my future self compared to that little meow I was 18 years ago] internally says krijg de tering to all of those people], I started to make more friends in school and stuff. Again, there, the greatest reason for friendship is causality. Especially the underground figures I know from visiting coffeeshops [the Dutch coffeeshops that sell weed, semi-legally, because the government fucking earns sooo much from commercial weed], I know from causality. And I give my phone number to people far too easily, because I don’t want to hurt people by saying no. [I need a new phone number, but I don’t want those 99% of people to be able to reach me anymore. I want to emigrate, still… It should be a +1 number, instead of +316… Oh, now that we’re at it. Fuck it, right? +31618579724 feel free to contact me, but please text me, because I’m not a fan of making phone calls. Especially if they’re purposeless.] But by now I’m almost certain that 99% of all proletarians don’t have real feelings. They only know an emotional script. I’m still alone. As in there’s no one I can be myself with. Having someone to talk to, is so different from having someone to spend your time with, who “spends time” in a similar way. I find this form of being and missing hard to explain. That’s probably because I haven’t experienced it in my life ever. Real friendship and real love. 

What I find the funniest about issues in politics, by the way, is that they’re the most intense on working days, and most often don’t even seem to “happen” on holidays. Except in Suriname, of course, hahaha. (That counter coupe, after the December murders. And then saying “Merry Christmas”.)

I vaguely know most of the people in my network of family, family friends and friends, have a past and/or present that includes involvement in criminal activities. There are even people who have tried to involve me in it. I’ve always refused – except for a few weeks back in Germany, I’ve cut a marijuana plant for the first time [I value honesty and transparency. We also smoked it all day long. The cutting itself was such a relaxing experience… I thought if the cops were to barge in and a legal process would follow, I could explain the causality of me knowing the guy and that I smoked for free and that I’m probably sick as fuck… So basically free medication] – when they tried to involve me in their things, because all my life, what I found the most important, was keeping my record clean, because of the career I attempt to live towards. Also, illegal and/or crazy things and the risk of being locked into a large construction with the most insane people, was my biggest fear. I basically lived through my biggest fear, since I’ve been involved in the psychiatric system. Now, the next scary thing is fighting to my death, but even for that, I’m ready now. I wouldn’t even care if I’d die. Fangs doesn’t give no fucks about nothing. 

For every year, since I was sixteen, I’ve been saying: “Next year, I’ll be successful and have my own house. I’ll be providing for you, by then.” And I’m still in that same fucking position now. I was acting quite semi-jolly during those “Christmas moments” [ugh…], but I hate that my words are still not reality. I want to be number oneee. But not in regular shit, like getting the highest grades and stuff…. That’s not useful in what I want to achieve, really. Then I wouldn’t have time for all of my side-projects, such as blogging. Which is now basically what I hold on to, for the sake of at least “having one of my many unique things out”. 

After my sister’s birthday, I’m going back to Amsterdam. But truthfully, I just want to live on my own – and Amsterdam is what currently comes closest to it, but it’s far from “it”, still. (I’m still broke… Broke means not having enough money to spend, basically.) I have still never lived alone, even though I crave for it day in day out. Aside from those moments I’ve been able to rent a holiday apartment or hotel room with a kitchen, or having stayed in my grandmother’s house when she was on a holiday. My problem during those moments, is that I think: I’m having the time of my life, but it’s finite. Three days of freedom left… Two days of freedom left… Et cetera. I call it freedom, because these proletarians I’m surrounded by all believe that they have more knowledge on life than I, and always want to know shit about my life, so that they can give their bullshit opinion about it – as if they have anything going on in their lives – and then give me advice, based on their “life experience” oh give me a breakkkkkkk please goddddd. 

Meoow I’ll spend New Year’s alone, but the problem is, besides being called “ongezellig” [as if proletarian conversation is ever “gezellig”… It’s all about laughing… Doesn’t matter if it’s funny or not… “Am vielen Lachen erkennt man den Narren.” It’s all of proletaria], is that that period of peace the most peace only lasts from like 9 PM until 1 AM, because it’s still not my own house, and thus proletarian conversation will continue when I’m not alone anymore. My secret hope is now making that donation thing, but splitting the opportunity to donate over seperate purposes, and hoping that I’ll get some support for the “please help Lil Fangs live independently” cause. If I’d upload it today, I could buy myself a space I can be semi-truly happy in. The happiest I would be if I would have Graeynissis in my house very regularly. Don’t worry about getting along with my family, family friends and/or friends: you don’t have to. I don’t intend to either. Yay 😀 . I would also be happy moving in with a Graeyniss… But the thought of socializing with children whose father I have the feeling of wanting to be intimate with, while we almost have the same age, gives me palpitations… I can’t help that I find power, intelligence and suits attractive…

On all of my visits to restaurants when I’m with my family: my father is always the one who pays, by the way. My parents just asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch with them. My initial response was saying yes, because I’m hungry as fuck, but there are a lot of things on my list and going out for lunch is very time consuming, so I said no.

I’m going downstairs to eat again – I wish I would have someone who would bring me food and maybe even feed me – and shower.

Tune in later for some live web maintenance and talking about the strategy for 2019 I still need to make up, because I have the most silent audience ever. All I know, currently, is that Kista, in Sweden, is the city I’m the most popular in, now (if that’s not because of an IP input mask (?)).


15:19 (03:19 PM) 

I added some clarifications to earlier written posts and turned my tomato soup into a semi-new dish, by adding mashed potatoes to it. 

Haha I need new food… But I’ll be showering xxx


16:21 (04:21 PM) 

On the closed borders: if all countries except the Netherlands were to suddenly close their borders again, of course people here would suddenly start to use their brains and get a whiff from everything that is going on. My policy says that those with greater capacities, a higher level of intelligence et cetera should be privileged in this, because we’ll have to build a whole new world. But of course dumb wild animals won’t accept that, and start to think outside the box, not accepting their fate. That’s why it should be guided very well. That’s also why I find it better to cause it, than to wait for it, if you know what I mean. But again, guided. By me and no one else. I don’t easily trust people. Especially not when they can settle for a life in front of the TV. 

That cutting of a weed plant once, and having moved in with an employee of the hotel I slept in in Berlin, who is a dealer on the side, is not the only criminal activity I’ve been involved in. The other one was being my father’s book keeping assistant from age 15 until age 18 or something. I stopped working for him, when I started my studies at the Erasmus University, but he stopped paying me long before that (I’m far too kind hearted, man, what the fuck…). 

I used to earn from ironing for the family, when I was 10, but after a few years I wanted to up my pay, so my sister started to do the ironing and I became the book keeping assistant for my father’s sole proprietorship (and this household). [I was also a cashier at the Albert Heijn, when I was 16, for like 6 months. Then I decided that I need a better life and I came up with my first business idea. But my father didn’t want to give me the €600 I needed to start it, because he feared that I would drop out, because of the idea’s success…] There were many things within the way I was ordered to disseminate transactions to the book keeping office, I didn’t agree with. In the beginning, I still did it, because I was relatively popular at that time and I had birthday parties I bought presents for, every month. Plus my phone subscription et cetera were all very pricey, and “the good form of parenting from my parents” lets me pay for everything myself, as far as possible. (If they could, they would let me pay rent for living here.) The accountant’s office my father works with [Pink Notes], every now and then sent a document with transactions of which evidence needs to be uploaded, which I did. (Receipts.) They were from personal expenses, done from his business account. The evidence was needed to request a tax back. Especially when I saw how much money was coming in, and how much from that was given to my sister and I [THAT €160 A MONTH WAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING COMPARED TO HOW MUCH THIS BITCH NIQQA EARNS], I was quickly fucking done with it. [I type this with trembling hands, eh, because that man is fucking insane and on my life I swear he would rather kill me and keep his money, instead of earning things fully legally and allow me to live happily.]

And now the illegal shit in my life is living in a house with a shitload of bictoin generating computers. [It’s the dumbest, most non-eco-friendly thing I’ve ever heard, really. If you don’t think in money, like me, you just see a fucking literal waste of energy. These things are literally on 24/7. A computer is on 24/7 and from that you suddenly get money. There’s no value in that. There’s only a lot of fucking noise coming from them, in my eyes. Other than that, to me, it’s valueless. It sounds as if I’m in a fucking plane. That’s how loud they are.] On that picture of myself I uploaded yesterday, you see two of them. For the sake of the environment, my health and the economy: having these computers in a regular house should be illegal. Actually, that whole industry shouldn’t even exist, because for actual non-value an individual can suddenly buy crazy amounts of resources. 

Here are two more:

Kanker computers

Only people who have shit to hide buy this type of shit, while they live in proletaria…

And of course, with the whole “schizophrenic but still intelligent” situation, they can easily frame me, so I’m trying to be ahead of things here.

Soo let’s get to that revenue tax report I’ll now file for both that one time I unsubscribed my previous business, but never filed it, and my current business. If you only knew how much it hurts to fill out “0”, “0”, “0”, in almost every fucking field… 

Now, I can fill out having earned $6.20 (US/UK style) $6,20 (“NL style”) “woohoo”. It’s $7.77 minus the cut for the “distribution center” behind the online book sales. 

Meow 🙁


17:57 (05:57 PM) 

Excuse me, but it’s not healthy to say that these revenue tax numbers, should be rounded numbers. It’s like you’re saying “Please commit fraud,” because in this way, you allow people to keep their book keeping a mess. Also, for broke ass sole proprietors like me, I couldn’t even “do my full bookkeeping” by filling out €5,45 and €1,15… But I just saved myself fifteen cents. *throws confetti*

Ahahah they seriously want me to pay €1… Ga toch op het dak zitten joh…. But of course, it’s my legal duty to pay it. 

Ahahaha dit is niet yusuuu

That was my revenue tax for het 3de kwartaal van 2018 [jaa ik ben een beetje laat, want ik zat in Duitsland zonder die code uit die brief van toen ik de eerste keer mijn wachtwoord ontving, die ik nodig had, omdat ik mijn wachtwoord was vergeten…]. For het 4de kwartaal van 2018 it’s “0”, “0”, “0”, etc. look:

I haven’t earned anything yet, this quarter, and I don’t see that change any time soon

Over a donation I don’t have to pay revenue tax, since it’s a donation. Unfortunately I can’t give you a shout out on my website, when you give me a donation, because then that will be considered a tegenprestatie, and then I would have to give 21% of that donation to the Dutch government. No one wants that… 

Be right back, I have to transfer €1 to die fucking zakkenvullers. Revenue tax shouldn’t exist. 


18:44 (06:44 PM) 

I’m now editing this webpage. After that, I’ll make the 2019’s reform article on this site and refer the D.O.C.I.S. International slider link to it. And then the Fang’s Fundraisers page and a new menu on this website 🙂 . 


19:41 (07:41 PM) 

I must say those bitcoin computers were keeping me pretty warm there in my father’s home office on the top floor. The Dutch winter got me like:

Het is koudddd

Cishe? 😀


20:12 (08:12 PM) 

I’m almost done with that page, but I’m now going to cook some spinach, because I don’t want to eat left overs… I’ve been eating left overs all day already… 


23:22 (11:22 PM) 

Dinner was nice 🙂 . My sister made jambalaya 🙂 (I’ll snap a picture when I go for my midnight snack). While we were watching Boondocks, a series we watched often in the past, I made a new post and page for this website. Right after cooking the spinach and before seating at the dinner table, I finished the proposal page I mentioned earlier. 

In the reform article I want to mention how I’ll use the donation funds, why and how donations, and that I actually still don’t want to do it via the Dutch democratic system, since I don’t believe in it and don’t trust it, still. The concept of the Dutch government is so vague and so privatized, that truly there’s not really even a government that can be spoken of. I want to stay independent. I hope you’ll support me in that. I’m going to get off the toilet, charge my phone, eat a snack – but no jambalaya yet – and continue to edit this website. I might make a slider for this website as well. 


Blog, Ex Animo, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Sunday, December 23, 2018

[I wrote this unfinished piece of post yesterday around 7 PM, but then something happened, and because of that, I still will not finish it. I’ll explain it to you 🙂 . Between the three dotted lines is the unfinished piece of post.]

My Cuddle ♥

Excuse my previous madness 🙁 . It’s a side effect that comes with my ambition. I hope you still love me. I get so mad, because I love you and I can’t stand that I can’t be with you 🙁 .

I had a lot of fun with my mother yesterday. When we were texting a few days before, I told her that I tend to stay away from her, because she can express the way she feels so negatively sometimes, and I want to see and hear her be happy. Hearing her express herself negatively gives me heartache and palpitations.

I feel terrible, too, but when we go out to do something together, it’s better to push those feelings aside, to try to emphasize the good things and to act happier than you are, because then you might end up feeling that way, too. I it worked for the both of us 😀 ♥

Around 2 o’clock, we took the metro to the city center. (We intended to leave around 1, but I kept snoozing my 10:50 alarm and at some point I accidentally dismissed it, so I woke up at 12:37 and had to rush…)

00:38 (AM) 

The reason why I’m so much later than usual with writing a post, was because I was socializing all day. It has been so long since I’ve felt so uplifted. I had conversations with my mother that really felt like it was like in the old days. I loved it. Then, here, at the house of the family friends I’m staying with, too, we were talking a lot. At first a lot about decision making from a parental perspective.

Then, later, somehow, we ended up talking about my business plans. I’ve touched on my business plans with other people before, but it’s so unique that I prefer to keep them to myself, because when it comes to money, some people try to do good with it, and some just want to have the most of it. I believe that because most people on this Earth are very self-preservative, this Earth is such a shit dystopia. I know that with my plans – less than half of them can be found online, because I prefer to memorize it, so that others can’t grow big with it before I do – there’s a lot of money to be made, which is why I prefer to keep them to myself, until I’m certain that I can trust someone.

This was the first time breaking down my full business concept, of which a part originated from the fact that with the natural circumstances in the Netherlands, life can be over at any second, and from people from my class, there are currently no plans of evacuation. That’s why I came up with the recruitment aspect of the organization. Also because space is limited. This quickly led to me being compared to – as I indicated before, in the “if I were to explain and my philosophy gets misinterpreted”-situation I described a few posts back, just type the last name in the search field to find it – Adolf Hitler. Of course, the comparison was a joke, since we’re talking about uncontrollable natural circumstances here.

There was also mentioned that we should raise awareness on that life in this country could be over at any second again, via mainstream media. Everyone learns about it in school, but no one gives a fuck, otherwise I would not be alone in this paranoia about nature ending my life at any second. Primary school is made mandatory by the government. If you wouldn’t attend, there’s a whole police patrol squad that makes sure you will. Everyone has been fully educated about this in geography class.

Raising awareness via mainstream media would cause so much chaos, because no one knows what to do, or doesn’t have the resources and/or capacity to do something useful, with that information. (Remember when I was typing about this in caps lock? It already felt like I was giving away too much.)

I don’t believe in raising awareness through mainstream media, but I do believe in proposing my solution and guiding the recruitment process through mainstream media. Then at least everyone knows and thus the chances will be equal. I find equal opportunities very important. Another thing I find important is usefulness, because it’s important that my island doesn’t go to shit the way this country will, one day. That’s not me destroying it. That’s just god’s work. I didn’t chose to be born here. No one did. (Right?)

The conversation ended with me being proposed to propose the product, service or strategy that will give me that amount of money I need to buy that island I’ll fully own and thus have the full right to decide over. I actually intend it to be bought by the holding, because I don’t want to rule over it all by myself, but because it’s my idea, I do want to own the parliament. Yes, things are arranged differently on Planet Fang.

When it comes to pitching my ideas, I always have trust issues. I guess that’s part of the reason why I still haven’t truly attempted to find an investor. (I’m considering constructing my business in such a way that co-owners will all be married to me, on Planet Fang, where everything is very different. I basically have to, since I’m so in love with these Graeynissis…) But of course I make exceptions for those who are close to me, when they ask.

So now I’ll be pitching “my million dollar strategy” coming Saturday. I love a challenge. [The soon deadline was because I made clear that my way to making it big isn’t a plan for 10 years. Life here can be over at any second and I want to be able to save myself (and other (useful) people). Truthfully, I want to have earned enough to rule over that island – and really truthfully already have that compound – within twelve months. Yes, twelve months. Actually I intended to already have been there by now, but I see I really am forced to do mainstream shit ah ew.] I wonder what it will lead to. I seek passionate investors, who care about the success of the endeavor more than about commas. They’re one of a kind and hard to find… Because of the class I’m stuck in with no money or support, I basically don’t come across them. But sometimes I’m lucky…

When I was having lunch with my mother, and she asked me where I want to live when I’m back at the ANWB full-time, I told her: “Wassenaar.” Yehess that’s not affordable with the salary I’ve earned there. I don’t intend to grow old here. I didn’t even intend to really target the Dutch market – because what’s the point, if it can flood at any second – but I have fallen in love… I showed my mother: “Look at how hot my Graeyniss is,” (those were not my literal words) and she was also like woaaaaah. Ah meoww… Suddenly he’s on my mind so much… I swear omgg… Including the thought of us suddenly giving in to the attraction we feel for each other and kissing… I love the way you grab my ass in my fantasy. Our life is wild and turbulent – like our sex – like a Dutch movie. (The upper class life painted in those movies is so alien to me. It’s so interesting in a sexy way.)

In my correspondence to him I’m indirectly all like oohh noo I look relatively good so people think my intention is to fuck anyone and then especially those with brains and influence, so it’s important that it’s clear that that is fucking bullshit. I’m not a house wife.  I want to make a career.

But simultaneously, with the natural circumstances in this country, my survival instinct is going crazy. If I were to be stuck with someone, I swear for me it’s the best to be stuck with someone else who would, like me, say: “If I would survive the flooding of this country, I would seize power.” With my level of intelligence and the circumstances I need to survive in, it doesn’t surprise me that I’m always fucking crazy attracted to tall grey haired men in suits. [HAHA HI THEREEEE 😀 ]

For this sexy Graeyniss, I would stay in this country and be a house wife… [Still no children, though, “sorry”….] The house wife part being cooking and setting up my own business, while the regular cycle of life as we now it now – everyone working – continues, until my business is finished and I can finally overthrow the system. People would talk so much shit about us, because we would look twice as hot if we were a couple… Don’t you maybe need a date for some fancy Christmas dinner? Does anyone need a date for a fancy Christmas dinner? I don’t like Christmas, but I love dress-up occasions and any chance to hear some serious Graeyniss conversations. I’d finally be able to be myself…

I’m such a pet cat… I now have two people I call Graeynissis, of whom I’m thinking that it’s possible that they could feel the same way about me as I do about them… I hope you’ll want to share, because now I feel un-cuddle for having feelings for more than one person, and I just want to have you all all to myself and I want you all to know it from each other. I hope I’ll be enough for you in that way, in terms of love (so that you’d be able to settle for my split attention) and that you’ll still feel like you’re my one and only.

On the rest of yesterday: I took my usual types of pictures, thinking of sharing it on here as I explain to you the deatils of my day. But the conversations lasted until very late and I need to get up early today. (It’s probably also not that interesting for you. That’s why it’s all the way down here.)

I had to get fangy and eat some medium-rare meat

I didn’t go here today, but I went there on a school excursion once, and, while usually I’m not a fan of excursions, there’s such interesting meaning in the architecture, art and design of this Paleis op de Dam, so I wanted to tell you this is a must-see

New blush was one of my gifts ♥

We later went there “for dessert” 🙂

This is what I selected as a gift for my family friends’ house I currently live in, for underneath the Christmas tree. How do you find my interior design vision?  :p

As I walked home, the sky was looking Cuddle

This is the perfume I use and wanted to buy again from my €150 Christmas budget. But they don’t sell it anywhere anymore?? 🙁 So now Lady Million Privé is my new scent. The other one is an Opium eau de toilette by Yves Saint Laurent. There are multiple ones with this name, but this exact one I can’t find anywhere. It was hard to find the first time already…

Now that I feel better – I’ve been so silent for so long, I’m happy to have had some good conversations and events – it’s like my body hurts less as well. It’s probably not a good move, health wise, even though simultaneously exercise is healthy, but I already mentioned to my mother how much I miss it, and then I saw this event for tomorrow, so I could just not not sign up… There’s a little basketball event tomorrow, in the Apollohal, from 12:30 until 14:30. For €4.50 you can join the poule and play 15 minute games. I’m excited! 😀 It has been so long since I played… I miss it so much! It’s too cold to play outside 🙁 . So tomorrow I’m going 😀 .

It’s now 03:54 and I need to figure out how to make my way there and stuff tomorrow… And be early because teams will be made et cetera. I’m thus going to sleep.

I love you sooooo much

Good night (literally haha) ♥


10:04 (AM)

Good morning

I just posted this to let you know I’m awake.  I’m going to take a shower.

By the way, since I find it more important to succeed in my life goals than to earn, but I do need to earn [soon as fuck… I’ll also need protection soon if people are going to proclaim that I have plans for the evacuation of a hand-picked (by application and recruitment [that used to go via my book projects, in which no one paricipated – I’m mad and might change my genre to something more populist – but will now go via emailing]) group of people and that I still allow people from other countries on that island as citizens as well [I can do that, because these fucked up natural circumstances are not the only reason for me to run this business…. It’s also because the system is absolute shit everywhere in the world and everyone deserves to attempt to an alternative]], I’m thinking of taking some initiative as someone who doesn’t vote and dominate the shit out of these literal political Graeynissis . Oh and the king, too, hehe. By starting a political party or something else via the democratic system I’m subjected to (beetje jammer… [that I’m subjected to it haha]). Know that I consider it my responsibility, as a non-voter. But I find that those who do vote but other than that only complain in front of the television, have that same self-initiative responsibility. I’d call it “The Fang Party”. Ons hoofdstandpunt is “fuck politics” HAHAHA.

I’ll be getting ready. Don’t Judas me in the meantime 😀 xxx


11:07 (AM) 

HAHA ayyy seriously I have such good ideas for Dutch politics! And for the promotion of The Fang Party (vote for a chance of getting access to all compounds). I’ll make music videos for promotion (Nero style HAHA… This sounds very Hitler-like haha but I swear I’m pro equal survival chances HAHAHAHAH). If I were to seize power, the Netherlands will become part of Planet Fang as well 😀 . I’m also pro voting rights for everyone, so everyone anywhere in the world will be allowed to vote for the Netherlands. Especially women who are not allowed to vote!!!! 

I challenge the Dutch prime minister to a dance battle…. Maak je borst maar nat mattie I’m coming for youuu.

So my donation thing will become: Help Lil Fangs De Tweede Kamer in…. Gotta eat fast and hurry brb xxx


11:46 (AM) 

Hey jongens, ik voel een nieuw referendum aankomen… Ick will namelijk graeg den grootsten dele mijnes tijdes in “Hispanje” (maar dan Planet Fang) spendeeren.

I think “Den Fang Partij” is trouwens een betere naam.


For my political economy strategy things… Benoît Crutzen… IK. KIES. JOU!!! *gooit pokéball*


11:58 (AM) 

Yoo where the fuck are my earplugs :'( . I always lay them next to my bed 🙁 . Travelling musicless sucks. My music will be played everywhere. I also have a lot of ideas for the improvement of the quality of television. I want to own 20% of all zendtijd forever for education material from Den Fang Partij.

So there should be one more colony which will be a separate island, for the Netherlands, which will be named Planet Fang if I win. Or if I’ll be able to make so much noise that there will be elections right now.

Of ik links of rechts ben? Ik ben niks mattie. Fuck dat systeem. Ik ben Lil Fangs HAHA.

Yo Rutte… Fuck jouw partij en kom gewoon bij mij ofzo?

Also, I want Vicje, Lorenzo and Sander as active members of my party…


14:10 (02:10 PM)

I’m having a lot of fun 😀 . I’m trying to get people to join me for my group picture at the end of the event. I’ve already told a few people I want to run for president and that I had that idea this morning. I want to show you I’m a people person 🙂 . Vote for me 😀 ♥


15:07 (03:07 PM) 

When I arrived at the basketball event, I saw that I was the only girl there and teams were already made. I didn’t want to take down the pace of the games the guys were playing, so my intention was to practice some by myself for the full two hours, on the free basket.

Then later, Jozef invited me to join his team. They had to leave before the event ended, so we have a separate picture 🙂 :

The team 😀

They’re all from Lebanon, except Rashid next to me, who is from Syria.

When I told them that I want to run for president here, Jozef said: “(Then) you probably don’t want us here.” His response scared me up. The way people are forced to leave their countries is outrageous, and world peace is definitely on the list of things I want to achieve!! Good living circumstances world wide, too. Of course you should be welcome here, since this country is in the top ten of weapon manufacturers. You should be treated like a king here.

Especially because I’m a person of color and I’m used to dumb racist people telling me that “I should go back to my own country” (while the Dutch nationality is my own nationality…) I for sure am not that the type of person who will discriminate people on where they’re from or what their background is. That’s the most ignorant thing people do these days.

My immediate response was: “You shouldn’t want to be here yourself, because there are no plans of evacuation for the people from our class, when this country is threatened by nature, to be flooded. That’s one of the things I want to propose a solution for when I’m elected president.”

Here are all group pictures taken, so you’re free to select your best one 🙂 [Shout out to the girl with the pink jacket, who made the picture ♥ ] :

Yay 1

Yay 2

Yay 3

Yay 4

Yay 5

Yay 6

Yay 7

If I were to organize a basketball event and ask people €4.50 for entrance, you’d get a bottle of water and a snack. Lil Fangs for President ayy.

I just came back home. I’ve been joking about my campaign statements and programme, but I have some serious plans and I’ll entirely break them down in the free book I came up with when I was in the tram: Lil Fangs for President. I’ll get started with it today 🙂 . First, I need to finish my business website and the 180 Days of Fangs article, though. Haha one project at a time…


15:54 (03:54 PM) 

Oh yes, why I’m not wearing basketball clothes? Because my basketball clothes and shoes are at home. I decided to look for meetups to join for today, last night, while I’m staying in Amsterdam with my family friends.

At some point I stopped playing team games, today, because my knees and ankles started to hurt. I wasn’t wearing the right shoes… I also suffered from “osgood schlatter” – a force and growth related sports injury – for quite some time, when I used to play for Rotterdam Basketball (the regular club, not eredivisie or something haha).

I then started to practice dribbling and shooting, in a walking pace, with my focus on not looking at the ball while playing. I dribbled with my eyes closed. I can show you that, as a president, I can dribble with my eyes closed, which means that my senses are very good, which shows that I’m a very alert president.


16:55 (04:55 PM) 

Ohh I made this picture when I gave myself a water break from practicing jump shots and lay ups and stuff, before I joined the team:

I always focus on my screen, but I guess I should look into the camera, but then I don’t know what my facial expression looks like… I need to practice my charisma more…

Lil Fangs for President will be released in both Dutch and English (the languages I can write in). If anyone wants to translate it to another language, I’ll share it for sure.

I find it important that there’s world wide attention for the situation here, in this country, since the problem here will at some point affect every single country on Earth, and I’m trying to be ahead of it. That’s why my correspondence is currently in English. I don’t know why no one else is doing this, too. Know that I have no patience for people who focus on gossip shit. I’m trying to make a serious change. I’m by the way against reading speeches from paper or a teleprompter…

I will also not be begging for votes. Voting is of course a choice, and if you want to hate on my initiative – while no one else is showing initiative the way I do, on this level – go ahead and please don’t even consider to vote. Then I have less people I’ll have to take into consideration for something that is not my responsibility. I just want to help because I’m able to, but other than that, it’s your life’s task to save yourself.


21:03 (09:03 PM) 

I’ve been thinking of going home for Christmas. I mentioned it during dinner. The thing that made it not easy and obvious is that my father has to allow and want me to be home, since he’s the house owner who sets the rules. Eric came with the idea to call him and ask if he finds it okay. After some internal fears, I called. He didn’t pick up. He called me when I was doing number two. When I tried to call back, I got an immediate “call ended” after pressing call, without voice mail. He also texted me to ask if I tried to call him. I said yes. He asked why. I said that it’s because I want to come home for Christmas and my sister’s birthday. (I still want to be all by myself by new year’s. I find one formality enough and do not want to reflect on last year with those who have experienced part of that hell with me.) He said fine, that’s okay and sent some love related smileys. So now I’m going home for Christmas. As a politician to be, I’ll stick to doing populist shit because I want your love ah meoww.

My god I really feel like crying and dying. I wish all of this drama just didn’t exist. Esha texted me at the right moment, asking me if I would like to join her and Elgin (the DJ I mentioned before), because he’s the first performer at a club tonight. I’m tired from playing basketball and stuff, but dancing and being with nice people will make me feel better for sure.

Sorry for not doing the “work related” [I’m not earning from it] things I mentioned today. I hope you still love me. I also hope you’ll save me from the huge task I’ve given myself when it comes to our society, in the sense that I know that’s unhealthy for me to work so much, but I can’t stop…

Also, entering politics sounds very exciting to me, but the thought of that nonsense gossip media… If there’s one thing that deep down just makes me want to ask that person what the fuck he/she is doing with his/her life and emphasize that the questions that are asked by the media 99% of the time are complete fucking nonsense. I hope it won’t give me too many palpitations 🙁 .

I intend to stick to water tonight…


23:24 (11:24 PM) 

We’re in club Nova. Kendrick Lamar’s Swimming Pools is playing in the background. It’s quite rustig sill. DJ Elli-BS’s set is lit like usual.

I numb down my emotions so heavily when I’m sober, I really want to get intoxicated and feel something, but it’s not good for my health…

Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections

180 Days of Fangs

There’s a crucial difference between writing general self reflection and writing an online diary post, to me. It’s in the concept of time. In an online diary post, I reflect the emotions I feel – still not in the peaceful state I want them to be in – to the way I experience time as I’m writing that exact post, by means of showing a(n alternative) contemporary life – it might be interesting to reflect back on it in 10 years and see how much life has changed, hopefully with D.O.C.I.S. International – and of preserving my long and short term memory.

Why 180 days, in the title? Because I have 180 days of diary posts, today.

I started this blog after I released the first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I, in April. [This episode can now be read in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I.] Then, I was still under relatively intense surveillance [it was worse before I started the blog] from the people from the psychiatric industry. “My parents” and them are convinced that I’m a schizophrenic.

It all started when in an answer to a question about my whereabouts, I said that doctor B.S.Y. Crutzen is a friend of mine, with whom I talk about my business plans. And that he is interested in working together with me, and that he will be my escape from my parents’ house.

How this led to me being falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia, is broken down in detail in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I, in which I extensively describe why this is a limitation to my freedom in doing business and how, only if other people were to join me in my endeavor, I could bypass this. The book has no sales.

The dumbest part of their diagnosis, is that the research hospital has drawn its conclusion, of doctor Crutzen being only a voice in my head, without actually involving him in the research process. They should have invited me and him over to a session, and hear from him “That he doesn’t even know me”, because according to them, a drop out can’t be friends with a professor. They refused to involve him in the research process. I miss him 🙁 . They know that.

By clearly running away from them [four times…], I’ve been able to distance myself from them,  but not from the final legal say they have over me, due to their false diagnosis. This stressful absurdity resurfaces in my posts almost daily, because it has changed my view on life so much, in a negative way.

Because I want to emigrate to the United States, since I need to live somewhere, while my corporate state isn’t there yet [and I love the warm weather, the rate between available space and people [as an individual, you have much more space to live, there, for a lot less money, compared to the Netherlands] and the creative strategy of the Republican government… Plus, I’ve taught myself American English – while I’ve been taught British English by my grandmother and in school – and I consider the US the heart of global publicity, so since I want to go global, it really seems like the place to be, for me…], I want my files to show the truth about me.

The parties with authority over me and I are not on the same page. They’re the ones who are authorized to edit my medical record, but they have a completely different opinion about me. It’s a very negative one, I don’t agree with. They’re not open to let me revise it. They don’t even want to show me what they’ve exactly written down in it. All I’ve seen is a collection of summaries, of which the pessimistic view has shocked me. I think this has added to my post traumatic stress…

I’m not saying that I’m fully healthy, since I just mentioned the PTSS and from the white blood cells in the infection that is currently still visible in my urine, even after antibiotics from Germany, I might have a serious physical illness. [My Dutch physician finds me incompetent and because of that she refused to refer me to a hospital, so I was bound to searching for help abroad.] I’m just saying that the diagnosis schizophrenia is fucking bullshit.

The only other way for me to achieve this correction of my record – I consider it clearing my name – is if my supporters were to stand up for me. I find it very important that my files show the truth about me, because I want D.O.C.I.S. International to be a multinational business and work together with powerful individuals.

Simultaneously, I’m trying to get this business off the ground, be able to afford a home and pay back my study loan, but since no one is paying for my work – solely looking at what I publish for free – I’m forced to go back to working for a boss again [ :'( ], unless things were to finally change in my favor.

For those who just have tuned in to my life, the amount of text here might be quite intimidating, and that’s not my intention! So I hope that this article will make things clear for you.

I also hope it will lead to the shift I’m trying to cause. The shift in which I’m finally able to live a happy life and put my concept of a new, better and legal parallel system into practice. True sustainability is the most important aspect of that system. It’s parallel, because I believe an individual should be able to choose in what type of system he or she lives, instead of suddenly being forced to go to school and work and have loans, et cetera, in the end just to serve your basic needs. I did not sign up for that life…

The Diary’s Timeline 

April 17: This is the day I wrote my first diary post. I mentioned that after being done with working on the D.O.C.I.S. International website, I would have time to be blogging and not worry about anything else. I just released the very first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I. But I mentioned that – not having to worry – because I expected my book to sell. It didn’t. This was before I unpublished the episode. Throughout my posts, you might notice how much this increases to eat at me. Another reason for frustration was that I was under surveillance – as in that I slept at my parents house [and from time to time I stayed with a grandmother for a week or so, when staying at my parents’room house drove me too crazy] and I had to see a “government therapist” every week, while I don’t agree with their diagnosis and treatment. On April 23 I had one of those mandatory sessions.

April 17 – April 24 were written in the Netherlands. At some point, I received a phone call about that I had to do another blood test to show that I was taking the antipsychotics. I thought it was a one time thing. I passed the first one by taking an overdose, but I didn’t want to do that again. Plus, my values must have been higher by then, so I wouldn’t pass it anyway. Even in the hospital, I wasn’t taking the medication for most of the time. I lied about it, which is why I got out at some point. But I risked getting a warrant for not taking the medicine, so my intention was to leave the country and seek for a solution. I didn’t take the blood test.

April 25 – April 27 were written in France. It was my first time “away from the psychiatric industry featuring my parents”, since April 2017! (April 2017, because that was when I came in touch with that industry for the first time…)

April 27 I was on my way back from France to the Netherlands. I, there,  wrote my diary update on paper, while I was in the train. The pictures of the text were taken in the plane to Surinam I was on, the next day. That’s why you see the scenery of an economy class plane – so the April 28 scenery – with the text I wrote on the 27th.

April 28 – May 19 were written on the way to, from and in Surinam, where I was on a holiday with my family. On May 6 the whole situation with them treating me “like I’m a schizophrenic” was frustrating me so much, that I decided to plan a one-way escape to the US. Another reason was the blood test I didn’t take. From that date onward, the plan developed itself. Here’s the video I was recording when I got the idea, in case you’re interested in watching it: [I don’t consider this a video of good quality. If I were to have a budget, my videos would be a lot better.]

In Surinam, I released some music, recorded in my bedroom there. The audio was recorded with my phone and I made the beat with the little MIDI keyboard I bought in Paris.

On the last night there, I met someone in a club. He was the first and only person who bought the very first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I. I unpublished it in June, when I was applying for jobs, because I thought that it might cause the employer to refuse me as a potential employee.

May 20 – May 22 were written in the Netherlands. I had to travel back there first, because the ticket to Surinam was booked far in advance and I actually wasn’t allowed to travel to the US, because the parties with authority over me found it too far from home, and thus too dangerous “for a schizophrenic”. It was my intention to show that I don’t need their supervision – it drives me crazy – and an attempt to get Project Nosce Te Ipum off the ground, there. I hoped to be able to start a new life. [Very unfortunately, I didn’t succeed.]

May 23 – June 8 were written in the United States. Until May 26, I was in Baltimore. When I came there, all I had were my ESTA, a reservation for three nights at the Red Roof (more I couldn’t afford when I was secretly booking), my most valuable belongings and about €900 to spend until the end of June. The money was study financing, because I’m a student at The Open University in Milton Keynes. (It’s a university specialized in distance learning, so I’m free to travel, basically whenever I want to and can afford it.)

The emotional aspect of my departure – “my father” sent me such a cold hearted text message, when he found out that I left and my mother made me feel so guilty for leaving – made me want to be alone. It was my intention to promote my book and otherwise search for a job, but that and the financial stress kept me from engaging in social interactions, because I did not want to speak about my life, but it’s almost inevitable, when you meet someone new.

As my three day stay came to an end, I was certain that with my budget, I wasn’t going to be able to keep affording a roof above my head. I accepted the chance of ending up homeless and decided to try to give myself a good time, with the money I had. I decided to go to Miami, because last minute tickets to Los Angeles were too expensive, with the intention of being able to go to the beach. (It was my second time in Miami, but I still haven’t gone to the beach there.)

I chose to stay in hotels instead of hostels, because I carried a lot of emotionally valuable luggage with me – in my suitcase with a broken back wheel – and the sadness made me want to lay in bed, all alone, for most parts of the day. At some point, this caused me to not be able to afford a proper meal. One day, I was only able to eat a Burger King deal of $1.50 or something, for 10 spicy popcorn nuggets.

While I was going through all of this, I never blocked and/or deleted “my parents” on my phone, so they could still reach me. I ignored the hateful message of “my father”, but I couldn’t not respond to my mother’s sad text messages.

At some point, she offered to send me money, so that I had an alternative to being homeless. I refused it, in the beginning, because I can’t stand the way “my parents” always tell me that I cost them too much. By means of saving myself, within 24 hours, I wrote a second episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I and released it. Again, it had no sales at all. Here’s the explanation video I had made for it, within that same period of time: 

I decided to go in to my mother’s financial offer. She asked me what I wanted. I told her a one way to California and one month of rent, for an apartment, with the intention of working as a Dutch translator somewhere there. She didn’t want to give me that. She extended my stay at Extended Stay for a night and bought me a one-way back to the Netherlands.

To make sure that those people from the psychiatric industry didn’t fully claim my agenda again, I started to look for a full-time job, even before I went back to the Netherlands. In my last hours in The States, I also made an appointment to officially register Fangs/D.O.C.I.S. International as an official sole proprietor business, even though I hadn’t sold anything yet. It was because I didn’t want to set aside my business endeavor, when I worked 40 hours a week, and end up being someone saying: “I had plans of starting my own business, but now we’re 30 years further and I still work here…”

I told my mother, I didn’t want to see “my father”, so at first, she booked us a hotel room in Utrecht from June 9 until June 11. There we were going to see “what feels right”, when it comes to staying somewhere, so if I was going to go home or do something else. She said that if I were to rent an apartment – social housing, for people with a lower income – that she would pay part of the first month of rent for me.

So after we stayed in Utrecht, because I wanted to be able to cook myself, she booked me the cheapest hotel-apartment available. It was in Bad Boekelo, in a resort. I was there from June 11 until something like June 23. I absolutely loved the short experience of having my own apartment. The area was amazing, too. Very quiet, with a lot of nature.

On June 14, I was invited to a house visitation. The social housing system works with a random selection by a computer. I was 6th on the list and “unfortunately”, someone who was higher on the list showed up at the visitation, too, and took the house. It felt like losing. I was so fed up by it, that I didn’t even go in to it on my blog. I hadn’t been invited to a house visitation ever since. Now, I’ve stopped trying, since I don’t even want to live in a social housing project. I want to live in California. And I actually have a very expensive taste….

In the rest of my time in that apartment, I worked on my assignments for The Open University and I was working on some free content for this blog. And an app for it, too, but when I started to work 40 hours a week, I ended up not making the app.

When I had to check out of the apartment, I moved in with one of my grandmothers. On June 25, I officially registered Fangs/D.O.C.I.S. International.

On June 26, I had a job interview at Young Capital, a recruitment agency, to see if I qualified for a job at the ANWB.

On June 28, I had a job interview at the ANWB itself. But somehow, I wasn’t able to find my public transportation card and I didn’t have money to buy a new one. It was still quite a while before the interview, so I decided to cycle from Rotterdam, Delfshaven to the ANWB headquarters in Den Haag. It was one hour and 24 minutes from door to door.

I called the recruiter to say that I was going to be a little later. My ETA was 8 minutes after the group interview was about to start, but my soft tyres and tripping phone compass made me be later. When I was 20 minutes away, I received a phone call from one of the co-recruiters, who asked if I could come the next day, because I had missed the introduction round.

My videos are rarely watched, so I’m not incentivized to upload them, but here’s some evidence of me cycling there. (The dress code was informal, so that’s why I was dressed like that.)

In one of the videos I say: “I’ll get the job, for sure.” And I got it 🙂

June 30, I worked at Concert at Sea for a day. My job was to sell bus tickets from the festival to the camping.

All geared up…

After working [from 7 the morning until like 7 in the evening] in the burning hot sun all day, I went to the coffeeshop near my grandmother’s house. I met someone there, who took me to a house party. When something happened there – I’m a total noob when it comes to illegal activities, so I didn’t get what was going on – and we all had to dash away, that person was holding my bag – I practice an intense form of trust – with my phone, my keys, my passport, my driver’s license, the author’s copy of the first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I, which is now unpublished, the book of a friend of mine and the notebook I bought in France. I took so many things with me, because I considered running away again.

After dashing away and being without my phone and keys around midnight, I followed someone else who was at that party, to his home and stayed with him until my first day of work at the ANWB. It was a form of escaping things…

The vacancy I applied for, at the ANWB, was for processing holiday insurance claims related to transportation. The hotline side of it. It was a Summer function. I worked there from July 2 until September 2. It was quite stressful and a huge challenge for my temper. Nevertheless, I’ve been a very loyal employee. I’ve only missed one day of work and the amount of cases I’ve processed was far beyond the average.

Because of my occupation and work hours, I could go back to living with “my parents” without them complaining about that I don’t have a job and that I’m at home too much. I often worked on the weekends. The shift hours varied between 8 AM – 04:30 PM and 01:30 PM – 10 PM. The late shift was my favorite, because I had more time to sleep and it was easier for me to not get caught when I got high after work every day.

During my time there, I also had assignment deadlines from The Open University. My year started in January, so my break is from September until January. Not long after my contract ending at the ANWB, I had my final assessments of the curriculum. For Statistics, the assignments could be done at home. For Mathematics, I had to make an exam in a conference room at a hotel in The Hague on September 21. By means of being able to fully concentrate while studying, I checked in on the 20th and checked out on the 22nd. I passed Statistics with 58% and Mathematics with 70%.

In between then and now, a lot has happend. To summarize it all – because reflecting on this all makes me so sad, I prefer to keep it as short as possible – I’ve been kicked out a few times. Because the natural circumstances in the Netherlands cause fear with me, and I’m usually not allowed to travel long distances, I took this opportunity and went to Germany [which was what my budget allowed. Of course, I would have gone to California if I could], among other reasons.

I took that opportunity to continue the medical research, which I did on October 11, I believe. I’m bound to seeking medical assistance abroad, because my Dutch phycisian (P. Khajehi) solely believes that I’m mentally insane and thus does not take my medical complaints seriously.

In Germany, at some point my bag was stolen, in which were my bank cards, my passport, my external hard drives, my grey notebook, my earrings, my copy of Letters from a Stoic and other valuables. I was bound to going home, because working there became impossible. Now, I’m staying with family friends in Amsterdam.

On December 23, I got the idea to attempt to accomplish my endeavor via politics, instead of via independent business, because I don’t have a lot of money, and it could be accomplished faster via politics. This plan is now in development. You can follow the process in my online diary, as well as a lot of other things.

Because I aspire a career on the highest level humanly possible, I want my records to resemble the real me. Currently, that is not the case.

Here’s a quick impression of the current state of my medical record [but I my nationality is Dutch, so that’s unfortunately “what counts” in most of my life].

We weren’t done with all of the research yet. The Harnwegsinfection includes white blood cells and keeps returning, even after antibiotics.

They also gave me haldol, fluanxol, abilify, quetiapine, lorazepam and the list goes on

They did not follow the law. I find the existence of the psychiatric law something very scary. I didn’t know about its existence, until I was suddenly stuck in the middle of it.

I’m not dumb and vague. They’re just not able to understand my level of intelligence.

I don’t agree with any of the shit that is in my medical record, to this day. Except the findings from Germany, but that’s not in my Dutch medical record.

I haven’t said all I want to say, in this article, but what I want to say, has been mentioned in my online diary so very often already, I don’t want to put myself through it again. This article was finished Monday, December 24, 18:48.

Happy holidays ♥.

I’m pro international technocracy, by the way.

Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections

D. O. C. I. S. 


The abbreviation in the name of the international business I intend to start, called D.O.C.I.S. International, stands for:







Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 2

Copyright © 2018 by Lil Fangs. All rights reserved.
Sharing content of this book is only allowed when it is mentioned that the source is this copy.

ISBN: 9789082936834

D.O.C.I.S. International



Within the new Standard we shape

Determined and Strategic Decisions, fast like Bliksem

We’ll Create a whole new System

From the routinous Life, this is your Escape

These Words are Written for Unification

Feel my Sincerity

Towards the Power of Our Creation

To See Real Prosperity





The Overall Insight of the Series

Every individual should have the right to live independent from the political and financial systems we have been born into, is one of the core aspects of the philosophy of D.O.C.I.S. International.

The complex of institutions, governments and a lot of things happening “out of sight”, can determine someone’s entire life. The philosophy says that that is wrong. It can give someone the sole purpose of living for consumerism, while he or she actually has the capacity to be so much more than a consumer working to pay for his or her consumerism. Our hearts crave more freedom of choice in the way we spend our time. To some, including me, Dominique Daniëlle Elia, the construction of this system negatively influences the conscious. I am not going to wait around until a person of power makes the societal change I need to see, in order for me to live happily. It includes that Earth needs to be a safe and healthy place for everyone, anywhere. To create this, internationally, D.O.C.I.S. International is my initiative.

I don’t want to be another person who only talks about how things could become better, but never brings real solutions into practice. In this book, I explain to you how I intend to take my steps. To determine the success of the strategy of the organization, Project Nosce Te Ipsum is the introduction project of D.O.C.I.S. International. A combination of research and entertainment, intended to work together on our own compound, in search of more sustainable survival methods, and to inform the public of our findings in an engaging way. I hope that our paths will intertwine and that we’ll write history together.

To fit everything into a semi-modern phrase: “I think Earth needs a make-over.” I think I’ve found a way to make a change and have fun at the same time. You are fully free to decide how you spend your time, when you choose for Re-Illu as your government.

After reading this episode, you are in possession of the knowledge needed to obtain a function in D.O.C.I.S. International. This free episode is written [written, like all other episodes, in the D.O.C.I.S. International type of series] I’m basically trying to start a new society that lives in a different system that is economically parallel [parallel, because people should have the right to choose in what system they live] for the recruitment will be ready to seat yourself in your special Council member chair and provide the world with the changes it needs. If you decide to become part D.O.C.I.S. International network and you become elected, the chair is yours.

Also, you will be fully up-to-date with the past and present of the company and you will know the ins and outs of the fields the organization will be active in and what its strategies lead towards. Hopefully you will participate in the process.

D.O.C.I.S. International is currently a sole proprietor business, owned by Lil Fangs. Her vision for this company, is described in a long conversation between her and her alter alter ego Daniëlle Lucy, who she considers an improved version of self.

This way of breaking down real business content, in an imaginary setting, shows the stances of Fangs in a lot of controversies. How exactly her stances have been established, will be explained throughout the main content of this book as well. Its main purpose is, however, to serve as a guide for those who would like to live by the philosophy of D.O.C.I.S. International and obtain a position of power, within the organization.

Here is an explanation of the text format:

Name: This is a thought from Name.

Name: “These are words spoken by Name.”

Actions are described in regular prose.

Nosce Te Ipsum

*The intentions of the project, what will stay and what will change, how this will be done*

Lil Fangs: The wind whistles, as it rapidly flows past the closed pink shell. The water is splashing in my face, from the fast movement and the turbulence. The muscles of the scallop are so strong that I only hear the wind and don’t feel it. I try to convince myself that I’m asleep. I don’t dare to open my eyes.

Lil Fangs: Out of nowhere, in a sort of momentum, I’m pushed further into the violet tongue, which is my bed and pillow at the same time. I’m now pressed against it so deeply, that the muscle touches my crown, and the other half of my face is covered in water. 

Lil Fangs: Okay, that must have been the landing, about which I’ve been taught in Fang School. It wasn’t that bad. Descending from the Moon towards the Earth wasn’t that bad either. 

Lil Fangs: The shell opens. It hovers above the ocean, which has the notch of an inverted cupola in it, which resembles the impact of the shell that dashed down to Earth, the way a meteor does – besides that it hovers.

Daniëlle Lucy: “What did you just see in your Mind’s Eye? From the way you stare into the distance, I know you’re going through a lot of mental images and emotions at the same time.”

Lil Fangs: “It was the introduction scene of the Nosce Te Ipsum movie I have in mind, along with what I would truly feel, if what happened in the scene wasn’t fictive. The scene is a short and very literal parody on The Birth of Venus.”

Daniëlle Lucy: “I would love to see that vision in real life! Do you still intend to make that movie, now that the Nosce Te Ipsum book series are under change?”

Lil Fangs: “I appreciate your interest and enthusiasm so much, my Cuddle♥. I would loveeee to make it. Especially because the cast I’ve written down for it – I’m such a dreamer – consists of professionals from not only the field of entertainment… There’s so much information in it, which is a great form of showing that formal functions and entertainment do go hand-in-hand! I haven’t told anyone about the details of the movie yet. If I convince others of the potential success and positive impact of the movie, then the movie will be made, for sure! It’s also a great way to show another way in which D.O.C.I.S. International publishes and it’s a muuuuch better way to reach the masses. Hopefully I’ll get people excited for my alternative ecosystem.”

Daniëlle Lucy: “I’m glad that you are still eager to spread the knowledge you have collected for the series. But you have given me the knowledge of Nosce Te Ipsum to use to write Volta. Don’t you just want to be the person who shares the knowledge?”

Lil Fangs: “I’m afraid that, since the content of Project Nosce Te Ipsum is so broad, at some point it will touch on the lives of every single person om this planet, I should use the version of myself that is fully at peace with everyone and everything, which is you, so that they know for sure, that I don’t have bad intentions. With the project, my power will be as great as that of all presidents, kings and queens in one. You know how the masses are being manipulated into taking sides, without thinking about it themselves. With only mentioning this alias, or our real name, people can already have a negative bias these days. I fear that they won’t love me. I want to be loved…”

Daniëlle Lucy: “I might express myself in a more peaceful manner, but we’re the same person. We shouldn’t sweat ourselves for those who will feel negative about us, without wanting to put in some effort and energy to understand what we do and to understand how harmless our project is. The scale of the project is very large, so the main topics have been spread over several books. Let’s change this conversation around a little bit.”

The Scope of Project Nosce Te Ipsum

The goal of Project Nosce Te Ipsum is the recruitment and elections for positions in the renewed D.O.C.I.S. International, followed by all of the community moving to the corporate island state, if I’m able to find good investors… Until now, I haven’t been able to find people who understand the concept I narrow down in my books. I really hope you will understand. The process goes as follows:

  • Informing
    Informing you about the philosophy of our business and the alternative system we want to create. This episode gives you more information about how you can engage in our projects, too.
  • The recruitment and election period
    During the project, if you decide to join, you could prepare your case for The Online Think Tank of The D.O.C.I.S. Community or Re-Illu – the Committees and Senate that will form the corporate governance of the renewed D.O.C.I.S. International – and design your own living, for on the corporate land.
  • Saturnalia
    We initiate with the real life community on a miniature compound until D.O.C.I.S. Island/Planet Fang is finished according to our standards. (If you become part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, you can vote which one the first official name will be!) To celebrate our new life, we – the D.O.C.I.S. Community = will start it off with a Saturnalia festival with a benefit for all of Earth’s citizens.

Daniëlle Lucy: “I know you are fed up with no one buying your books and that this is having a bad influence on your self-confidence. But you have been studying the system for that long, I am certain that you will find the audience that will engage in your works! I find that you are the perfect person to be the Praesens of Re-Illu. After you have finished my training, the fate of all of The D.O.C.I.S. Community will be sealed!”

Lil Fangs: “It’s tough when you put in a lot of effort into something you’re passionate about and it’s not appreciated enough to make a living from. Really tough… But your words excite me! I love you so much! Thank you for helping me <3. There is this alternative and more sustainable ecosystem I have a strategy for, as part of the new country I want to start. I need my self-confidence back, to present it well…”


The way morals and values play a role in my business strategy, as well as its persistence in its perseverance, will be broken down in this chapter.

In this book, the setting in which the business content is broken down, is imaginary, for the time being, because D.O.C.I.S. International is not yet the multi-component holding it intends to be. The imaginative setting makes it easier to bring up the topics you need to be informed of in order to benefit from the final form of the organization.

The story takes place in The Cuddle Palace, where Daniëlle Lucy and Lil Fangs live, together with the rest of their Royal Resistance. In the Nosce Te Ipsum series [not Project Nosce Te Ipsum, because that takes place in real life] Planet Fang is a planet on which Fangyists live. A Fangyist is someone who looks human, but who has non-human anatomy and/or who follows the philosophy of D.O.C.I.S. International.


Lil Fangs was taken by the hand, by Daniëlle Lucy. While they continued their conversation, they walked across the palace, to a room. In front of the engraved dark oak wood double doors, they stop walking. She now holds Fangs’s hand with both her hands, while she says…

Daniëlle Lucy: “The first thing we’ll train, is your corporate defense. You’ll have to walk through this door by yourself. Every time you need to make a decision, I’ll freeze time, to hear the justification of your choice. To prepare you against your enemy, this is all the information I will give you about what is waiting behind that door.”

Lil Fangs: “Okay… I’m very curious…”

She opens the door. From everywhere, she’s blinded by flashing lights. A hundred people in formal clothing run towards her, with cameras and microphones. An even larger crowd is watching her being ambushed from behind “dranghekken” [translate the Dutch word to your native language. This is a small course in Dutch as well, since that is my native language] the way they’re aligned during the entry of Sinterklaas. They’re yelling all kinds of hateful things at her.

Lil Fangs: Holy shit… These people must be out for dirt… If this were not so, I would have been approached in a normal way. THEY WILL NEVER SUCCEED IN TAKING ME DOWN. WE NEED CHANGE!! THAT WHOLE FUCKING DIRT INDUSTRY SHOULDN’T EXIST!! THEY PROFIT OFF OF WARS THAT DAMAGE HUMAN LIVES – BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO WATCH THAT SHIT FOR ENTERTAINMENT??? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THIS PLACE?! – AND THE POLLUTION OF OUR PRECIOUS ENVIRONMENT. Now I know what type of defending I’m getting ready for. Of course, to them, I shouldn’t raise my voice… For a second, I thought that she was going to let me fight, haha. These media people get paid for attempting to destroy my name. Their existence is solely for incentivizing people to talk, and they only let people talk about how we are not succeeding, instead of how to succeed. That’s why I’m convinced that D.O.C.I.S. International should have the primate in publishing media. Everywhere. What we’ll published is focused on prosperity instead of destruction. But it’s only if the majority of people wants it… Is Daniëlle preparing me to work with Earth people…?

A suited up, tall brunette in heels, wearing a black suit and a pink tie, walks to Fangs in a straight line. Her hands are empty. The crowd moves aside for her, the way the sea spread for Moses(?).

Name and trustableness are currently unknown: “Good afternoon, Fangs. Please follow me.”

Lil Fangs: “Okay… Gezellig. Who are you? And where are we going?”

Lil Fangs: I don’t have much of a choice… Is she here to help, or is she here for dirt…?

Evella de Vrieskou: “Oh, sorry for not introducing myself first. My name is Evella de Vrieskou. I saw you being so overwhelmed by all of those camera’s, from my office window. I’m an author for the media publishing company that works in this tower.”

She points her perfectly French manicured nails towards the huge glass tower they’re walking towards.

Lil Fangs: “Oh. What type of works do you write? Are you going to let me wait in your office, until the cameras are gone?”

Lil Fangs: Why the fuck do some people always say that I’m physically expressing that I don’t have things under control? Externally, I was completely silent, so why does she say that I’m overwhelmed? I really don’t like when people want to tell me how I feel and they do it incorrectly. She must have a microphone on her. My annoyance makes me more eager to defend myself. I really am a good leader, and I will let her know.

Evella de Vrieskou:  “Haha, no… I’ve been anonymously watching you for a while and when I saw the way you were ambushed just now, I figured you’ll want an opportunity to prove that you are a good person. I quickly approached some of your supporters via social media and they want to help you prove the great potential future success of your strategy!”

Lil Fangs: “Well, that’s great! I have been craving for a good speaking opportunity! My target audience is hard to reach, because it requires a special type of intelligence to understand my words, and the people with that intelligence aren’t enthusiastic about social media either, so I’m very surprised and happy at the same time, that you have been able to find my supporters.”

Lil Fangs: The words I would have rather said, are: “NOT. WITHOUT. MY. LAWYER.” Because I know she won’t argue in favor of me. How do you casually assemble a crowd full of haters to stand there? She’ll probably use this dirt to write a bestseller or something. I stood there for like 30 seconds… There’s no way calling “my supporters” was an impulse she had just now. It takes longer than 30 seconds for her to get out of the building, so the must be part of the ambushing complot…. I’m far too used to fake people acting as if they want to help me and then they end up doing the most hurtful things. This is a challenge for my temper, because I’m so tired of them. It is very important for me to stay calm – so to not raise my voice as I defend myself – because they’ll use that as dirt, too. I might be able to be very loud, but in my strategies, I’m very calm.

As they enter the building, they’re trailed by a crowd of applauding and cheering people. The looks in their eyes makes it seem as if they all just won the lottery.

Evella leads her to the same double doors Daniëlle led Fangs to, in the parallel universe. Before the door, she stops and they face each other.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Aside from being an author, I’m also the host of a very popular TV show. Don’t you know “Het Trending Journaal”? My studio is my office. Welcome!”

She pushes down the door handle and opens it in one explosive motion. This time, the lights Fangs is blinded by the spotlights of the stage she’s walking on to. There are two dark blue lecterns slightly diagonally facing each other in front of something that looks like a formal bar stool.

Lil Fangs: [softly] “Thank you…”

The red curtains are not fully opened. Evella accepts a microphone, then passes Fangs and walks in front of her as she enters the part of the stage that is fully visible by the audience. Fangs stops at the line that indicates the coulissen, as she waits for her announcement and watches Evella’s hips move as she walks and seats herself on the black leather seating surface of the barstool with titanium legs, facing the audience.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Good evening, my lovies. Today, we finally have our chance to speak to the often discussed Lil Fangs. She doesn’t know about our show, so she doesn’t exactly know about what we’re talking about and about how she’s wrong, but today we’ll finally get our justice and answers. You might want to know who her opponent will be, well…”

Lil Fangs: Grrrrr…..

She stands up and for a few seconds she gazes at her audience while she has her arms across her body and her microphone in her right hand. Then, in her motion of turning around, she says:

Evella de Vrieskou: “It’s me…”

And she walks to the lectern that is furthest away from the wings [coulissen], to stand behind it. Introduction music with a lot of bass starts to play.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Please join us, Fangs…”

The audience starts to scream and applaud. Fangs walks towards the other dark blue lectern on the beige stage surface. The sound made her right eye twitch a little.

Lil Fangs: “Thank you for having me here.”

The background beat becomes louder. Evella starts to move along with the music.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Listen, you say your name is Lil Fangs. You think you’re real, but you’re not even doing real thangs. You’re doing all of this, solely because you want fame, and that while you’re not even part of the rap game.”

Lil Fangs: “It’s a shame that you claim that that is the aim behind my name. People like you are the reason I would rather get high by myself. In twelve reasons why my name is this fly, it includes my calm, while untamed in this realm, with this world in my palm. Now that I see your sitcom, this is a waste of my time, you’re too dumb. You don’t worry about flood, while I think of the taste of your blood.”

Evella de Vrieskou: “You’re bad, so just listen. You’re too young to change the system. You’re still at your mother’s house, with no spouse. Not running a big business. Not even in the world of Guinness. You’re a spy in disguise. You lying is not a surprise. After so many tries. No income, yes price. I’m a bad bitch, I need ice.”

Lil Fangs: “Don’t think of me as you when you were twenty two. My intelligence makes me find my own information. I want my freedom and for that I need my own nation. I think I would be hot as a spy, but that’s not what I do so nice try. And I just don’t understand how someone can be able to use an emotional trauma from bad financial circumstances in that context. It’s just a tough audience… How long were you planning to continue with this?”

The music stops.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Are you backing out?”

Lil Fangs: “No. Let’s make this a real debate. What other claims did you want to make about me?”

Evella de Vrieskou: “Only two…”

Lil Fangs: “Please tell me! I’m veryyyyy interested to know.”

Evella de Vrieskou: “Your first start-up, Elia PR (, in 2016, was unsubscribed in less than six months. We don’t expect you to last long with this business either. What went wrong with your previously unsubscribed business?”

Lil Fangs: “I lost all of my clients even before I started to do business with them… I’m so passionate about achieving my goals, that I’ll never stop working on them. It’s a very long story I have been repetitiously explaining throughout my online diary.”

Evella de Vrieskou: “How do you mean you lost them?”

Lil Fangs: “Just like for this business, I started the business with no investors and a self-maintained website. It was hard to find clients that would be an asset to the portfolio of my business for public relations for individuals.

The two sole proprietor businesses – both owners I knew personally, before I started Elia PR – I was making a campaign for, both backed out when I gave them their quotation. Even though I had one of the lowest rates ever, they refused to pay. They expected me to do it for free, because we were acquainted, but since I started without investors and without savings, I couldn’t do that, so I lost them.

Not long afterwards, I found the perfect client. My sudden extreme faith in him wasn’t appreciated by the two relatives who have authority over me, because they didn’t know if they could trust him, they said.

They went as far as convincing people from the psychiatric industry that the client was a bad influence and that I was in a psychotic state. I couldn’t get out of the surveillance they had put me under, because they were not open to letting me prove my perspective and my authority was reduced illegally, so I decided to run away.

The same relatives then initiated an international police search mission in which they involved my client. There’s nothing more embarrassing than that, when you’re a business owner/your career is your main focus, I think. In their search campaign, they included negative statements about my mental well-being that were false. It is true that the authorities I was subjected to, made my feelings of powerlessness and thoughts of suicide worse, but I never lost my sense of direction. I never left the house in a confused state. It was my own decision to move that way, in an attempt for real freedom.

Yet no one believes my story. They believe my relatives, saying that I have no sense of reality and that me being less happy and spontaneous is caused by that mental illness, while it comes from the emotional damage that their treatment has given me.

I have been able to reduce the surveillance, but – even though I’ve been trying – I’ve never been able to reach that client again. After I lost him, those same relatives forced me to unsubscribe my business. I still feel grief when I think of the moment I signed for its unsubscription. I will never let them influence my business decisions again.”

Lil Fangs: I don’t like telling the same story over and over again… But for the sake of those who do want to walk this path with me, I want to make everything clear.

I hope people understand why I register a business without investors and clients. The investor needs to be paid back in more than full. By postponing his/her engagement, I’ve given myself more time and space to research my audience its behavior and adapt my service to them.

Now, for D.O.C.I.S. International, the time has come to find them. The clock is ticking and it’s getting harder for me to keep my audience’s attention.

Evella de Vrieskou: “How do you mean that you will persevere, when the businesses you’ve started were in completely different branches? And how did you get the idea that you’re able to change the system? Much older and much better educated people have been at that for decades and our world is still like this. And how do you expect to win people’s trust if you have been diagnosed with schizophrenia?”

Lil Fangs: Is she sure that she has been reading my blog… I’ve been explaining the same thing for months.

Lil Fangs: “The goal of the multi-component organization I want my company to grow out into, has never changed. The alternative system is what I live for… Only my approach how to get there has changed.

With the PR business, I would reach my audience by campaigns and the interactive blog everyone could post on. With Fangs/D.O.C.I.S. International, I reach my audience with what I publish and I’m personally approachable for business enquiries.

I need people to accompany me in my creative path, for the business to grow. Both businesses include a large recruitment campaign in the broad range of fields of the multi-component organization will be active in.

Sure, people might have tried to make changes to the system. Some might even have succeeded without you knowing.

The idea of a perfect system is always subjective. I hope that my idea will be seen as perfect by the majority or at least a community big enough to be seen as a minority.

Because of the subjectivity, I do not intend to get everyone on my side. I believe that people shouldn’t be forced to choose a path, and thus it is important that becoming part of the system of D.O.C.I.S. International is a well thought-out decision about which the individual is fully informed. By not making it mandatory, I also have the chance to filter out the best and most motivated people.

I know what needs to be done to set in motion a parallel financial cycle, where we’re financially unaffected by what happens in the other system, and I have the knowledge to give everyone the basic essentials of life and more, including the perfect occupation, for an infinite period of time, with guarantee. This knowledge I have from observing our current system and some self-initiated research.

Because of the diagnosis that has been given to me – a diagnosis I do not agree with at all – I expect most people to not listen to me, but to look for signals of the illness. In my diary, have written everything down about my thoughts, beliefs and experiences, from the outmost personal perspective, with the intention of showing you the reasons why I believe that I am not a schizophrenic. The reader is free to decide what he or she believes. That’s something I live by.”

Time freezes with everyone in it, except Fangs. A bright light and big cloud of smoke appear on the leather surface of the chair on the podium. With her legs crossed and her hands on her right knee on top, she emerges out of the ether, saying:

Daniëlle Lucy: “Instead of talking about the actual content of your diary, she’s still only touching the surface. Some Earthlings aren’t able to grasp the idea of the alternative system you speak of so often, so then they start to make weak statements about you, like she did. I think you’ve done well.”

Lil Fangs: “Thank you. Her stance still eats at me a little. I have the feeling I haven’t used my best arguments yet. I found her so extremely biased.”

Daniëlle Lucy: “Unfortunately, that really is something we can’t avoid. Your content is too much and too unique for people to quickly understand all of it, so those without patience will resort to a negative bias very fast.

With the next person you’ll talk to, you won’t have to worry about that at all! It is a famous character from your Nosce Te Ipsum series! Your next challenge is to recruit him/her for the right function in your organization.”

Lil Fangs: “That’s great! I’ve been waiting for that for so long.”

Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem

This takes place in a simulation of a big deserted island, which has an oasis in the middle of it. Fangs has prepared a picnic and a contract.

Lil Fangs: “Hi, I’m Dominique. You must be here for your recruitment.”

She gets up from the big flying carpet, to shake your hand. You appeared from the smoke and the big bright white light in front of the picnic scene.

The way questions have been numbered is a continuation of the previous Nosce Te Ipsum episode.

You: “Yes, I am!”

You shake hands.

Lil Fangs: “That’s awesome! Please join me on this carpet. I’ll show you the land that will be turned into D.O.C.I.S. International’s corporate island, while I ask you some questions that lead to the conclusion of your recruitment. Also, please don’t hold back with eating! Want a fig?”

She stretches out her arm to hand you the fig.

You: “_________________________”15

Path type

Lil Fangs: “Project Nosce Te Ipsum has three paths for the recruitment for D.O.C.I.S. International. Each path has its own rewards and expectations. Which one would you pick?”

  1. Practitioner
    On this path, the least of your time will be filled with the occupations that come with choosing D.O.C.I.S. International. The only thing you need to do is complete the series.
    “The Practitioner is part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community. He or she gains access to gathering locations on earthly compounds – after we’ve established them – by completing the online questionnaire that comes with every Nosce Te Ipsum episode after signing up at the D.O.C.I.S. International website. I’ll get to that around the 29th…”
    D.O.C.I.S. International Source: (Elia, Dominique)
  2. Illuminatus
    The Illuminatus/Illuminata [Illuminati] path is also the name of a subject group in Project Nosce Te Ipsum. He or she earns the title from completing an assignment for D.O.C.I.S. International. You could choose from the following categories:

    1. Statistics
    2. Retail/Export
    3. Psychology
    4. Neuroscience
    5. Medicine
    6. Mathematics
    7. Linguistics
    8. Entertainment
    9. Engineering
    10. Ecology
    11. Design
    12. Culture
    13. Crisis Management
    14. Athleticism
    15. Artificial Intelligence
    16. Architecture and Real Estate
    17. (Mass) Technology
    18. (International) Politics
    19. (International) Law
    20. (International) Economics
    21. (International) Business
    22. Fangyism

    “[Chair level Senate @ Re-Illu]”
    D.O.C.I.S. International Source: (Elia, Dominique)

  3. Illuminatus Intelligens
    The Illuminatus Intelligens completes assignments in all categories we will operate in. The Parliament of Re-Illu sets out the benefits related assignments for everyone in The D.O.C.I.S. Community.

“Chair level Parliament [of the private holding D.O.C.I.S. International [is what I hope, since I’m looking for investors…]]

How about a “bring your own pan” tea party? At the festival?”
D.O.C.I.S. International Source: (Elia, Dominique)

[Indicate your path of choice with a capital letter] You: “_______________”16

Collective Function

Resources owned by D.O.C.I.S. International are, when they are at its disposition locations, free is you are a member of The D.O.C.I.S. Community.

Lil Fangs: “We offer the following collective functions. Please choose one:

  1. Leading
  2. Controlling
  3. Consulting”

You: “__________________________”17

The D.O.C.I.S. Community

The sole proprietorship D.O.C.I.S. International is in search of investors and network members on the path of international expansion, where we could – if you, my dear reader, decide to become part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community – start a new society on the corporate land of D.O.C.I.S. International, if I’ll be able to find investors after releasing this free ebook…

If you are interested in becoming part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, I will need your contact information and the budgeting of all of your essentials, because becoming part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community means becoming part of a new system.

To become part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, please fill out the form on and send the following information in your first application assignment – if you have submitted your application.

In your submission, please include the following:

  • Please introduce yourself 😀
  • Your motivation and aspirations regarding to becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International.
  • Your answers to the questions one to fifteen of the newest Nosce Te Ipsum series.
  • Your contact information (of preference)
  • Your answer to the question: “What do/would you like to occupy yourself with on a regular basis?”
  • Your answer to the question: “What do you need money for in your daily life?”

The e-mail may not include attachment files. Only text… This for security reasons. I will be reviewing the e-mails manually. Please submit your application to becoming part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community to: and make the subject: “The D.O.C.I.S. Community”.

You can keep your e-mail very simple. You could stick to this format:

“The D.O.C.I.S. Community”.


[Introduction of self]

My answers to the questions in the newest Nosce Te Ipsum episodes are:

  • *Your first answer*
  • *Every next answer on the next row, until your fifteenth answer*

[Your answer to the question about the occupation you prefer to have on a regular basis]

[What you need money for in your daily life]

[Ending and salutation]


If you’re interested in investing in D.O.C.I.S. International, please include this in the e-mail, too!

You could keep up with the development of D.O.C.I.S. International during Project Nosce Te Ipsum

The recruitment positions will be announced during the benefit I intend to organize for Christmas. If you’re interested in helping me out, as member of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, please let me know, too!

I’ll be writing.

I love you!




Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

13:21 (01:21 PM) 

Hi <3

I hope you’re having an awesome day :].

The D.O.C.I.S. International website will be finished today! Then submitting a sign up form will be possible, which will be reviewed. Depending on what path you choose to follow and on if our mission in life is similar, you’ll receive access to the private social network within 72 hours :]. The process is designed that way, because I want to have a network of people who can help each other get the best out of each other and who do this because it truly is their desire to do this and not because they’re opportunists who just want to earn from the future aspects of the organization. 

Getting access to the private network is free of charge. 

19:27 (07:27 PM) 

I want to travel so baddd. You should come with me :D. 

Hopefully I haven’t scared you off by stating that I want to filter out certain personalities. I just don’t want what happend in my personal life to happen in my business, so I have to be more strategic… 

23:35 (11:35 PM) 

I am so tired of hearing myself complain about the past… Part of me wants to delete every memory I’ve written down. 

But meow, I’m showing you my process… This is Project Nosce Te Ipsum… One day, my days of sitting inside and not being the face of 200% happiness will be over. The contrast will be logged right here! 

Is this Cuddle enough? In the context of ego boost writing? I love a trained eye! I hope you see my potential…

The D.O.C.I.S. International website is, apart from me having to take away the maintenance text and change the footer text [but the internet connection is acting up again], ready! 

Oh, I will change “find” into “live” @ “To state or define the way you prefer to give and receive love, as well as to state or find your strategy to find a life filled with love.”

If I would have any sales or any other forms of engagement, I would tell you this with much enthusiasm, by the way. Don’t mind me buying myself pre-engagement to show people that this is a very approachable project :].

Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Sunday, September 30, 2018

11:37 (AM) 

I went to sleep around 4 AM. There are a few tasks left over on my list, still… [It took me quite some time to find a solution to the header and slider overlapping @ the D.O.C.I.S. International website.] 

Luckily I have done all heavy tasks yesterday. I hope I can still start advertising today. This is what’s left for me to do: 

I still added some tasks yesterday…

I might still make an “about Little Fangs” page. One of the two book pages is already almost finished. 

Before I start to market my book, I’d like to have the answers to these questions published in an article [I think writing an interview as an introduction is more fun and more clear]:

17:28 (05:28 PM) 

I’m exhaustedddd haha…. 

This because I still need to make some more buttons:



This because I need better conversation than to talk about some celebrity’s liposuction I do not care much about:

22:16 (10:16 PM) 

I have literally spent all day working on my websites again. I apologize for not having any litty marketing specials on the official release date of my book. I hope that I’ll be done editing my websites before midnight, but the chance is not very high… I’m now editing the “About The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum” page. 

23:59 (11:59 PM) 

Haha I would take much more time for that amount of pages? Especially with my style of writing. I want it to be like translating Seneca… (Which it is…)

Is it possible to absorb the message of the book, when reading so fast…? 

Meow I’m done writing the long description of The Unpublished Episodes… Almost done adding the button links… 

I want to write a longer description of the first episode, but the episode is so short that I’m afraid of giving away all of the highlights…? This fill-in-the-gap story is waaaaay better…. It’s more of a satiric parody of every e-ve-ryyyyy single Hollywood movie now. Haha :D. 

Ohh by the way, I’ve created a newsletter :].

Ah meow the new slider has a small font on a mobile phone. On a laptop it looks normal…

I’m so tiredd. My head has been hurting for weeks. Just like my stomach. I just had my period today (random¿). I haven’t had that since I stayed in the resort in Enschede. That was in June…? (And now I’m a lot of pregnancy scares later…) Haha this is good news**

What’s chill about having your period almost never, because of being under too much stress since age 11, is that I can swim and have sex whenever I want to. [But that made me learn that one night stands/friends with benefits/whatever regular touchiness are very cringy. The only thing I do when I have sex, is trying to be passionate, while desperately trying to climax, while thinking about Benoît and how much I miss him, hoping that our paths will somehow cross again.]

People say being on your period is an excuse for acting like the definition of showing the most barbarian side of yourself? 

Tomorrow, I’ll finish the D.O.C.I.S. International website. 

I wish I had people I could to this together with, already. “Too bad” most people I know don’t like putting effort in things. 

Is it just me, or do some friendships just die after a few years, because you know all thoughts, beliefs and stories of that person already and it starts to become too predictable and boring? I need new friends… Who like “nerdy” things… And prefer speaking English over speaking Dutch… Where can I find you…? 

It’s 01:47 AM on the first of October now. I start a new blog day when I wake up. Or on the peak of my all-nighter.

It’s funny how, on the one hand, I’m “talking” to my dear audience on this blog, and on the other hand I’m covering my tracks, because a bunch of haters likes to laugh about my struggle. The type of people who want to laugh about misery, because they’re bitter and talentless, could consider me an easy target. I’m very lonely in my being this talented on this age. 

Meow, tomorrow is the Cuddle’s birthday… I have imagined myself emptying out my heart in a wall post. That’s the only way in which I haven’t tried to reach him yet, I think…? If I’m able to write that post in the first place? We couldn’t be Facebook friends for some reason anyway. I never asked why. I only noticed that my request wasn’t accepted… But we were still hanging out in real life and e-mailing, which is what I prefer anyway. (Video chatting would have been nice, too. I don’t like regular phone calls.) 

Why is me wanting to be with him considered a taboo? People assume that it’s for the money. [I have literally been asked this several times.] They don’t see that it’s because my other options are dumb people who say that it’s for the money. I want to do something with my life and seek the same in a partner…. Most people these days are only busy seeking social contact and maintaining the mainstream 9 – 5 routine. I don’t understand how they can’t be depressed as fuck if today you’re going to live a day that is way too fucking similar to the day you’ll live in 10 years? Again, hours of small talk they consider “big talk”, the same job with the same clients on the same spot, travelling the same route, eating the same things…. I’m trying to break the routine and they discourage me and tell me it’s impossible to do that. I wish them all the best in their routine I am not going to allow my project to alter. You might be doing what you like, watching Netflix, on your last day as well. (That’s me saying I’m staying polite to these people, while they’re actually such a clear waste of space and resources. They only bring hate to this world, elaborating on how new concerts and movies are bad, as if they actually have some form of expertise or as if they could do it better. Yes, they’re experts in not doing shit but gazing at moving images all day. Do you know the Allegory of the Cave? In modern times…)

** Me getting my period means a reduction of my stress levels. I’ve had my period three times this year. The first time I met Benoît, in Enschede and right now. I used to hate it, but now I consider it a very comforting thought that those antipsychotics haven’t made me completely infertile. Last year it was only after the morning after pill… In 2015, when this gynaecologist gave me a pill to spark my period and research it, I never got the results, because my grandfather passed away in that same week. I later still didn’t go to the hospital, because it was in the same hospital in which he passed away and I just didn’t want to see the same scene. I vividly remember the day on which he had passed and we were waiting in his hospital room, alongside his lifeless body, for the service to come and pick him up. We waited for hours… It’s one of the most painful memories I have. Especially because – don’t ask me why this crossed my mind at such a young age – from when I was very little, and I would think of a “How sad would I find it if this person were to pass away?” list, he was the number one person who should just die with me, because living without him is so hard… I loved him so much at some age it just became awkward. He has played the father role in my life, if you were to ask me this. The warmth in my character, I have from him. He and Benoît are the only men with that loving character I know. They’re both economists… I know hands down, if my grandfather were still alive, he would have supported me as an entrepreneur. All other snakes in my life are encouraging me to quit. 

I hope my reduction of stress means that I’ll see my Cuddles soon… I don’t like being in this city… I’m absolutely not looking forward to Friday x_x. The family is going to a restaurant for my grandmother’s 82nd birthday. I hope she won’t accuse me of stealing again (dementia)… I don’t look forward to having to find a way to socially last through that evening, listening to and trying to participate in the most shallow conversations in the history of mankind… 

Oh boy I need a hug after writing about my grandfather. I’m in my bed with my two pillows. I’ll be laying my head on the mattress – because the pillows make my neck hurt – and cuddling my pillow, pretending it to be Benoît, who’s all the types of men I miss in my life in one person. 

Good night


Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Saturday, September 29, 2018

13:28 (01:28 PM) 

“Saving the best for last”… Today, I have the following things on my list:

  • Upload a new cover for the episode 1 paperback (because they want the full title on it… I used the ebook cover, which has a summarized title. Now I’ll be editing that image) 
  • Make a new menu @ Docis Int website
  • Renew the home page @ Docis Int
  • Make a mission page @ Docis Int
  • Make a project page @ Docis Int
  • Make a sign up page @ Docis Int
  • Make a sponsors page @ Docis Int
  • Make a login page and a menu for logged in users @ Docis Int
  • Edit copyright text
  • Make a few topics in the private forum [Ik zoek naar goede ijsbrekers…?]
  • Make an “about Lil Fangs” page @
  • Edit the Project Nosce Te Ipsum page @
  • Make a page for available books with links to the stores they’re available in @
  • Make new slides and a new introduction text @
  • Make it possible to sign up for the newsletters (Docis Int/LF)
  • “Buy some pre-engagement” @ Facebook & Instagram (+ Spotify), for “I only do it when other people do it, because I consider that a quality indicator” reasons [You really won’t regret participating… A trained eye will be able to see the potential of this project and ride this wave. (I intend to target trained eyes only… To shape a good community where everyone has “a friendly spark” with everyone.)]
  • Make ads @ Facebook, Google & Instagram 

Haha you can follow the process live… 

14:30 (02:30 PM) 

Haha meow… The links to the new first episode will be available after twelve am, I think… Will I be making my “books” page that late…? 

15:15 (03:15 PM) 

The author’s copies of The Unpublished Episodes have been delivered :]. Of course, the normal copy you would purchase, won’t say “not for resale”. (Because that is not an author’s copy.)

15:48 (03:48 PM) 

New cover image:

I also took away the random dot on the back of The Unpublished Episodes haha. 

I mentioned solliciting in Beverly Hills yesterday. “Solliciting” as in applying for jobs. Of course, that is something I do not want to do. I want to be directing Project Nosce Te Ipsum. 

If people engage in the project, after the launch, tomorrow, that’s what I’ll be doing. I really hope soooo… 

Either way, I intend to start a new life in the United States (and then later a private island, where our community members will live).

The first episode is 45 pages, by the way, of which a part is space saved to write down your answers inside the book. 

16:55 (04:55 PM) 

I just configured some mailboxes needed to process submissions etc. 

Have you seen the most funny playlist for a tea party yet?

17:32 (05:32 PM) 

Haha I seriously had to save the social network site of the website after a failed update – because the internet connection was acting up – by making changes “on FTP level”… x_x

I also made a logo for the website

When the re-installment of the social network addition is finished, you’ll be able to see the first changes on :).

19:12 (07:12 PM) 

As you can see, there’s a completely different menu when you log in :].

20:33 (08:33 PM) 

Ah, luckily the first episode is available in the book stores now, too :]. These are ebooks. The paperback is avalilable on Amazon. I’ll add the links. 

Ah meow I still need to eat. My family went to a party and will bring me some food later. I only have some granola bars to eat now. 

21:59 (09:59 PM) 

I made you a puzzle :]. [I’m not referring to the next following images only ;).]

No paid advertising [I’m only showing you the current state of affairs]

22:49 (10:49 PM) 

Haha a wild page that hasn’t been used, but adds an interesting layer to my story:

I’m not going to delete this, but it’s “not a useful page”, for this was before I unpublished the previous episodes. 

There’s no way I’ll ever unpublish the new episodes (because in the new version I don’t write about myself that extensive). 

01:37 (AM) 

Shout to a Cuddle for making such nice food! <3_<3 [Eating at this time of “day” is not recommended.]

Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Friday, September 28, 2018

04:02 (AM) 

I’m finishing up… I’m quite satisfied with the result :].

Fingers crossed @ the book being submitted to the online stores in time, “ha-ha”………. [That means I laugh while being seriously worried, by the way, hahaahaha XD. What else can I do, right¿]

06:27 (AM) 

Whoop whooooooop

07:12 (AM) 

The paperback is done as well :D.

“Haha” R.I.P. to my sleeping cycle. As the sun rises, I’m going to sleep.

Today will be an “off day”. I still have a private social network to “finish up” “:D”.

15:53 (03:53 PM)

Haha I used this iPhone to find the link to my book in the iBooks store.

(I’ll still be doing equal pricing, though…)

I posted this:

(It’s both me XD.)

17:12 (05:12 PM) 

I think I have the right marketing strategy now…  I’ve also made a fixed price. This might work :D. 

Haha I still feel the pressure as if I have to write to make my deadline. But both of the manuscripts are submitted to the stores already, and [comma and, for overview of long sentence reasons…] one out of two is available in “all international” stores already :]. [Smashwords, Amazon, iBooks, Barnes & Noble, Overdrive, Kobo, Scribd, etc…]

One of the few packages is delivered 😀 [no paid ad, just like all other things of brands I show]

To form my own opinion about popular content…

19:05 (07:05 PM) 

I’m at the mall with my mother now. I asked her if she was going to take her car to work today, because I wanted to buy new travel bags. 

She then told me she had the day off and proposed to go together. I said aiight. 

I just bought two SD cards (one for my phone, one for my camera because I used that one for my Nintendo Switch).

My mother bought me cream, oil and tea. 

I’m now fitting suits :p

Tallness (“Tallniss”) issues haha

Doen of niet doen¿

I got itt, since I’ve lost quite some weight and thus don’t fit my grey (haha Graey) suit anymore. I mean if I’ll be solliciting in Beverly Hills… 

I’m looking for short stay apartments there :].

Haha if I were to give a lecture, I’d rather wear a custom made suit, or a dress. 

Ah meow I’m so excited for travelling :D. Now I have a budget for doing things and eating hahahahaha. So I have a chance to meet new people now. And I could get a rental car for longer hehe. 

22:55 (10:55 PM) 


I bought us sushi for dinner. I was so hungry that I asked for part of it to eat while we were waiting for the rest haha

My mother bought me this suitcase

Some other stufff I bought for myselff

I bought the oil “against cellulite”, not because I have cellulite, but because I hope that will restore the skin where I’ve been going hammer, because this eczema is on another level. I do not want to see my phycisian, though. To switch to another one, I still need to go past her? [Haha why ask someone you want to sue for help, right? The last time I saw her, I asked for serious assistance, because I could barely walk. She told me she only wanted to speak to “my psychiatric nurse”, because she had spoken my mother about “Benoît as my psychosis” and doubted if I was still “wilsbekwaam”. I let her speak to her for a few minutes and then just left, because she said: “I’ll only help you when you stop refusing the antipsychotics.”]

I’m now going to bring my sister to her boyfriend’s. 

Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

17:27 (05:27 PM) 

“Should I start every online diary article with a form of “hello” and of “I’m very fond of your interest in me, my dear reader. That interest is mutual, so I ask you questions in my diary and I hope I’ll hear your answers to them one day. I hope I’ll get to know you better and that we’ll become good friends”¿” [I will be doing this differently, “from tomorrow onwards”. You’re still my Cuddle, though :D.]

I hope that the many alternative forms of the same message have been clear throughout my previous diary posts. It’s made to give people who are interested in participating in Project Nosce Te Ipsum, an update of the status of the project. It’s also made for me to vent things I can’t talk about with the people in my environment. I hope that there are some people left on this earth who don’t have the bias of me being “bad news” and “crazy”, and that I could spend the rest of my time with them, so that the things I need to vent won’t even exist, and I can be a happy Cuddle. Hopefully together with you! 

The things I’m venting here are a side-effect of the permanent bad image that (some/most) people now have of me, because of the false rumors that have been spread about me. 

I know it’s not very usual to show such extreme self-expressions of self on a website, but I hope I’ll find people who do relate to this and who do not consider me a bad entrepreneur, a bad writer or anything else bad of the many fields I’m active in, just for expressing how I feel underneath the emotions my physical appearance shows. It’s only in this way, because otherwise I can’t reduce the intensity of the underlying emotion I don’t let my body show. I also hope those who come across this can relate to this and, if the feeling of loneliness were to be there, feel less alone in this.

I know that (“almost”) e-ve-ry single person on the face of the earth has at least once said, done or experienced something that he or she wouldn’t want to share with just anyone, because, even though that one thing doesn’t define all of someone’s personality, some people might still base their perception of that person on that one thing that could be considered negative. In that way, “we have all been there”. The difference for me and some others, is the scale on which this has happend, and that it was beyond our control. 

By “beyond our control”, I mean that we didn’t have a hand in whether the message is sent or not. If I could have hand in the message that was sent, when I was “missing”, I would have said: “DO NOT SEND ANYTHING TO ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This will make people “worried” for no reason and cause so much false bad publicity for me that it can ruin my entire future. The reason why I’m running away is because that was the only way for me to escape from the house you have locked me inside of. From the start, you knew that I didn’t want this and you still keep persisting your measures. The only way for me to breathe in outside air and move my muscles is by running away. I do not intend to come back.”

That I’m here now, doesn’t mean that I want to be here. I hope my attempts to work and live abroad won’t be sabotaged, like in the past… 

Because of what happend to me in 2017, I have no other choice but to “open Pandora’s Box” and point out why the rumors that have been spread aren’t the truth. This because the bias that has been caused by false beliefs, limits me in my professional life. I still have big plans for ways to improve life, I want to put into practice. It’s not possible for me to do that, if people believe that I’m a bad and crazy person, because of how I have been portrayed. It is not easy to recover from such a fucked up first impression, on so many people that it went beyond my own network. That’s actually even worse than “fucked up”.

18:29 (06:29 PM)


I wish I wasn’t showing you my issues with my parents anymore… I wish I had the guts to stand up for myself, but “we all know how that went, last time”...

It seems like my mother isn’t a big fan of my plans to work abroad. There were no positive statements made, only: “Who says you’ll find the right job?” “Who says you’ll find an apartment?” “Maybe you won’t get the paperwork.” She wants me to work and study in the Netherlands. The urge in me to live somewhere else, becomes greater every day. I want to go to a calm and pretty sunny beach. I’d like to live somewhere where there’s no (or less) cold weather. Some place where there’s a lot of (non-artificially planted) nature, where you can enjoy the sounds of it, instead of hearing cars, sirenes and honking trucks way too often on a day. 

If someone were to be enthusiastic about my ideas, I would just focus myself on that person and talk to him or her, instead of talking with people with a pessimistic form of determinism on their minds, believing nonsense such as “We can never know anything,” “Eternal peace is impossible to achieve,” et cetera. That shit is toxic. With myself, I notice that when I only meet people who believe such things, and I try to prevent silence in a conversation, I just start rephrasing things related to that form of determinism, because I have nothing else to talk about with them. Information about my project I don’t often share with people who answer: “Nothing, just watching TV or something,” to the question: “What do you like to do?” I seek people who would enjoy participating in my project. Participating means that you’ll be using your brain a lot and that 

I have opened the messages from the government, which I’ve mentioned a few days ago. One says pay €7.692,96 before the 18th of October. Another one says pay €961,62 before the 25th of October. For both, if I don’t, it wil automatically be converted into a loan over which I need to pay interest. I’ll have to start paying back monthly, within two years, it says. 

19:39 (07:39 PM)

My strategy for the new Nosce Te Ipsum was based on the words “clear and complete”. It’s a lot less long, compared to the first and second episode of the previous version of the series. There’s a lot more information about Project Nosce Te Ipsum and A LOT more information about the context of the fill-in-the-gap story. I’ve changed the context of our interaction to something more thrilling to “get out of”. I hope it’s now more clear that it’s a “book quest” that is indirect (self-)research. 

For the sake of light exercise, a change of scenes and seeing people of whom I think they’re Cuddle, I’ll be going to “the university” later. I still, in conversations, say “the university”, even though I’m not a student there (anymore). 

21:53 (09:53 PM) 

I think the new fill-in-the-gap story is an improvement, compared to the old one. It’s not exactly new. It starts in a different point in te story, less in medias res

23:02 (11:02 PM) 

Haha meoww I’m in the mood for something light and semi-sweet, but I left my bank card at home… Should I go home…¿ I don’t want to haha……. 

But I will, I guesssss. Some brandy would be nice… And I feel like eating wentelteefjes, haha. The fill-in-the-gap story is spread over two mini chapters now. 

00:36 (12:36 AM) 

Change of plans… I had a glass of water, haha…… 

I’ll make some rice pourridge tomorrow, for breakfast. I plan on having breakfast. In the morning… I most often don’t have breakfast… 

But tomorrow needs to be a productive day :D… So that means getting up early (they say). 

Here’s a link to the paperback of The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I, which I haven’t promoted yet. 

Only if I submit the new episode before tomorrow night, I can be sure of it being in stores on the 30th. Meow… I’m doing my very best :]. 

I feel uncomfortable about promoting The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I at least just as much as Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 1, because I’ve written about my situation with Benoît so extensively, but I haven’t talked about it with him, because I have been somehow separated from him. This since the police issue. I want to know what happend :[. They’ve said he’s too old for me. But what if I dig greyness? Not that I’ve been intimate with him in that way. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t want to, though… Those agents, too, already had their bias when they interrogated me. So when I answered a question, they said: “No, it’s actually this,” as if they know my mind better than I do, “correcting” my statements. 

I miss him :[. The project I’m working on now, is based off the blueprint of the campaign I wanted to make for him, before my parents interfered in my PR business, by taking parental measures (while the company was mine and only mine). In this project, I’ve reserved a spot for him… 

I hope somehow I’ll be able to get back in touch with him. He’s one of the few people I can truly talk to :[. (In the sense that I can’t truly express myself in “small talk friendships”.)


On the trippy bill I got from the government: my preference goes out to paying the whole thing at once. At the moment I am far from able to do that, so I’d rather enjoy the rest of the money I have while it lasts and take myself on a mini vacation before I might go back to working 40 hours per week in beast mode. I just purchased a travel case for my Nintendo Switch, Sonic Mania [, I wanted to buy Super Smash Brothers, too, but I saw it isn’t out yet for the Switch] and two “popular” books I’ve wanted to read, but haven’t (fully) read yet: The Prince and Letters of a Stoic [some of these letters I do have translated in school, I believe]. They’re both in English. I always love to read books about which there’s a lot of controversy [while most of the people who have an opinion about it haven’t even read it], because there’s often a lot to reflect on, there. Just like when I read Propaganda by Edward Bernays… 

If I’m done writing etc. tomorrow, I could buy new travel suitcases on Friday… Should I go to Italy or California…? Italy is closer by, so I could stay there for longer, but I don’t speak Italian and I’m more interested in permanent residence in California. But I crave for Italian food from Italy itself… I’ve stayed in Udine and in Brugnera during separate holiday seasons, with my family and some family friends, years ago. And I’ve been to Rome on a ten day school trip. 

If it were up to me, I would dash out of here and go on a short holiday on the 1st of October, because I want to be by myself or be with people without a negative view on me, in a new city I [or we? :D] can explore. But my mother’s birthday is on the 8th. Also, I don’t know where to be on the 2nd of October. Benoît’s birthday… I want a Cuddle :[. I’ve literally been holding back tears about this 24/7, since May 2017. If these haters would know all of the shit I’m not telling them… Where’s my B? :[

I want to be close to where B is, on the 2nd. I really wish I could give him a birthday hug [and Cishes¿ als dat mag…] and the author’s copy I’ve purchased for him… He lend me two books, after a “hang out” [please don’t mistake it for a synonym of “doing nothing”… we were talking about very serious things], so I think it’s cool to give him a book this time. I don’t even have a clue of in which country he is… There’s something so fishy going on here, and I know some people know much more about my parents calling the cops on us. I don’t want to “open verbal fire” about this topic by myself again, though. It always became 2+ against 1. I’ve been struggling with my heart rhythm. I know a discussion where it feels like you’re talking to a stack of bricks will make that issue A LOT greater. 

My gut says they’ve imprisoned him. In the way I was interrogated, it really sounded like they wanted to frame him. But I’ve gone against the bias in the posing of their questions and I’ve said that he’s a good man and that I would rather leave with him, than with my parents [The truth, to this day..]. I hope my gut isn’t right :[. This situation is so strange… :[

Ah, meow, it’s 02:31 (AM)… Now it’ll be a late breakfast… 

Thank you for reading my randomness

I love you! <3

Good night