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Online Diary

Blog, Images, Online Diary, Random Thoughts

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

09:49 (AM)  Good morning 💕 I really appreciate you reading my diary! I have never talked about this with you (yet), but the idea that I air out the contents of my mind, and that you then keep coming back to read it, fills my heart with so much joy!  When I mention the contents in real life, people often want to falsify them. Even though I don’t mention it – because if I were to mention it and they would try to debunk that, too, I will become agitated and the stress levels on my heart will increase a…

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Tuesday, October 16, 2018

17:02 (05:02 PM)  Good afternoon, my Cuddle 🙊 💕  To make sure I stay on the right track, in this maze where I need to make fast decisions for the short-term, which influences how the long term plays out, I’ve made a draft of a public description [consider it a pamphlet in disguise] of the aspect of life that has been one of the factors inspiring me to write Volta. I want to spend enough time on my future publication(s) and my publishing company, while I’ll, unfortunately, give away a large part of my free time to a [probably full time,…

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Monday, October 15, 2018

00:02 (12:02 AM)  Haha I’m so in love with the character I made in Episode 😻. I only styled her and gave her the character of a romantic person.  She’s also dealing with a lot of bad dreams 😅   I downloaded the game in the car, on our way to drop off my grandmas and then head home.   We just got home. I’m going to bed.  Slaap lekker 💕  03:41 (AM)  The “climax of my nightmare” just woke me up. They seem more intense every time. This time, I was myself as a young child, hanging out with…

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Sunday, October 14, 2018

11:36 (AM)  Good morning  I misinterpreted the word Bewegungsartefakt, yesterday… Awkward…? I was celebrating too soon… 😔  I couldn’t keep still, because my skull moves, without me controlling this. I strive to find the scientific explanation of this, to debunk the guesswork explanation of “Must be stress,” from the people who have labeled me as someone I truly am not. The thing is, that what I want to prove, can’t be seen on an MRI. What I want to prove, is such a sensitive and controversial topic that I can’t say that that is the reason why I want myself…

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Saturday, October 13, 2018

12:47 (PM)  Heey ♥  What are your plans for this weekend?  I’ll be bed petting 😋   [woaaah this is the first time for me to succeed in including an emoji that isn’t a heart!!!! I had to find how to convert unicode to html, hehe]. I think, the “priority mail” I received from the radiology department of the health center I went to, states that I have a device in my head.  Finally, the final proof of schizophrenia being bullshit is in!! I only need to receive doctor Cuddle’s findings – regardless of what else he finds, my aorta heart…

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Friday, October 12, 2018

09:30 (AM)  My Cuddleeee 😀 ♥ Good morning!! ♥ ♥ How was your night?  Mine was pretty good. I went to sleep around 9 pm and had a lot of time to sleep. Somehow I’m still tired, so I’ll be napping until 11 am. That’s when I have to check out.  I’ll be back, after my nap <3. If anyone wonders why I don’t cry, but get slightly angry when I talk about the shit I’ve been going through in my life: it’s because if I were to start crying, and really let everything out, I would never be able…

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Thursday, October 11, 2018

09:49 (AM)  Good morning, my love <3 I just woke up in the freakiest way possible: When I opened my eyes, I looked mother right in the eye. She had that look in her eyes again that makes me feel like a failure and gives me cropped up anger, because she looks at me in that way. I actually wanted to scream and attack her, because I freaked out and “why the fuuuuuck does she look at me sleeping?????” But I managed to “mentally pull myself together” fast, and said, “Good morning,” in a fast and slightly formal sounding way. …

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Wednesday, October 10, 2018

09:46 (AM)  Good morning <3 I succeeded in my mission, yesterday! I’ve had a lot of spontaneous fun :D. Pictures will be uploaded später haha.  While I was getting ready, earlier, I received a phone call, with the request if I allow someone else to claim the domain name elia-pr.info. I said “Yes.” My .com domain is only there as a memory of my first business.  Now I’m going to finish my breakfast and then pack and check outt xxx [Here’s a draft of the rest of what I’ve written yesterday:] 11:08 (AM)  Meerbusch is pretty asff =0. I saw…

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Tuesday, October 9, 2018

06:57 (AM) Gooooood morning!  😀 I love being awake early, with a purpose for being awake early.  10:49 (AM)  I’m waiting to be called in for my MRI. Ah meoww I see myself going back home again =.= This Dutch lady “guiding me” is so rude in the Dutch sense of communication standards. 12:02 (PM)  Meow… There needs to be a solution to the way I feel :[. I don’t want to go back home to the same situation, feeling just as shitty as I do now…  This center doesn’t have beds. Part of me is glad about this for…

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Monday, October 8, 2018

00:32 (12:32 AM)  Hanging out was nice :]. I really needed that change of scenes.  Meoww, one day left until a possible positive and new turning point in my life. I’m excited either way: I’m in desperate need of new experiences. I could also “use some Graeyniss” in my life right now… It’s nice to do the things I used to do, socially, but the inner craving for working on myself and my career, needs to be satisfied on the level I want it to be on, for me to be able to provide myself with the comfort I desire. …

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Sunday, October 7, 2018

00:07 (12:07 AM)  The “welcome text” of this website, I have changed againn… Just like the book description of The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I. This because I want to semi-keep this website. When https://danielle-lucy.love is online, when you visit https://lilfangs.com, you will see a pop-up that asks you if you want to visit my new website. This instead of redirecting you right away. I think, to just delete everything at once or make this website unaccessible, is kind of a waste of so many hours of writing and of you keeping up with me for so long. I love you!!…

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Saturday, October 6, 2018

00:13 (12:13 AM)  I have decided to just go back to being “social as fuck”. I do have missed some people I used to spend a lot of time with. There’s still a book I have a lot of inspiration for, though… I have the feeling that if I say “yes” to one hangout, I need to say “yes” to all of them. But then I won’t have any “free time”… So I’m seeking a balance. My weekend is “planned full” with hangouts. I want to keep monday free for writing and Tuesday I’ll be driving to Düsseldorf…  I need…

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Friday, October 5, 2018

13:20 (01:20 PM)  Good afternoon :] I want Δοκιs to have a much more “established” debut than Lil Fangs had… Established in the sense that what I put out should look professional [even the finest details!] and I need to be out of “bed pet mode”. But as long as I’m dealing with these headaches, the sensation that even when breathing heavily, I still don’t get enough air and heartache that becomes worse when I move, I should not be concerning myself with that. The problem is that I can’t stop…  I want to get myself out there and I…

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Thursday, October 4, 2018

01:56 (AM)  My brain needs rest, but my body is so full of energy. I should have gone running… Another factor keeping me awake, is me pondering about my next move. It feels like such a waste of money to spend more than €2000 of the about €2500 in savings I have, on a scan of which you don’t know the outcome. [Other than that, my accounts are basically empty.] Maybe it’s €2000 to hear, “There’s nothing.” Maybe they’ll tell me that I have some disease. It seems fucked up to spend what I saved for relaxation, on this stress….

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Wednesday, October 3, 2018

01:18 (AM)  I just ordered some business cards, which will be delivered in 2 days :]. [I chose fast delivery, because I want to travel to the US around October 9th.] I decided to stop the “I start a new post when I wake up”. This was something I kept doing, because I wanted to start my posts with “good morning” and end them with “good night”, but my sleeping schedule is already way beyond that….  The copyright texts of my websites are changed :]. Oh boy, I must have made such a random impression on you…  Today, I want…

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Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

13:21 (01:21 PM)  Hi <3 I hope you’re having an awesome day :]. The D.O.C.I.S. International website will be finished today! Then submitting a sign up form will be possible, which will be reviewed. Depending on what path you choose to follow and on if our mission in life is similar, you’ll receive access to the private social network within 72 hours :]. The process is designed that way, because I want to have a network of people who can help each other get the best out of each other and who do this because it truly is their desire…

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Monday, October 1, 2018

10:53 (AM)  Good morning <3 I woke up with eyes more swollen than usual. That must have been because of the tears… Hopefully I won’t get a rant about looking high again…  Today, I’m going to give you a recipe for the best soup in the history of mankind! My grandfather cooked me soup every Friday, when I was little. “Cassavesoep” used to be my favorite. I spoke about making this soup two days ago, with my mother. I’ll have to search for a moment to buy the final groceries I need, though.  You’ll need [a translation in your own…

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Sunday, September 30, 2018

11:37 (AM)  I went to sleep around 4 AM. There are a few tasks left over on my list, still… [It took me quite some time to find a solution to the header and slider overlapping @ the D.O.C.I.S. International website.]  Luckily I have done all heavy tasks yesterday. I hope I can still start advertising today. This is what’s left for me to do:  I might still make an “about Little Fangs” page. One of the two book pages is already almost finished.  Before I start to market my book, I’d like to have the answers to these questions…

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Saturday, September 29, 2018

13:28 (01:28 PM)  “Saving the best for last”… Today, I have the following things on my list: Upload a new cover for the episode 1 paperback (because they want the full title on it… I used the ebook cover, which has a summarized title. Now I’ll be editing that image)  Make a new menu @ Docis Int website Renew the home page @ Docis Int Make a mission page @ Docis Int Make a project page @ Docis Int Make a sign up page @ Docis Int Make a sponsors page @ Docis Int Make a login page and a…

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Friday, September 28, 2018

04:02 (AM)  I’m finishing up… I’m quite satisfied with the result :]. Fingers crossed @ the book being submitted to the online stores in time, “ha-ha”………. [That means I laugh while being seriously worried, by the way, hahaahaha XD. What else can I do, right¿] 06:27 (AM)  Whoop whooooooop 07:12 (AM)  The paperback is done as well :D. “Haha” R.I.P. to my sleeping cycle. As the sun rises, I’m going to sleep. Today will be an “off day”. I still have a private social network to “finish up” “:D”. 15:53 (03:53 PM) Haha I used this iPhone to find the…

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Thursday, September 27, 2018

[Scroll to the italics for trippy fan-fiction¿] 12:41 (PM)  Here’s a list of the ingredients I used for the rice pudding I’m eating… Right now…  Rice Almond flakes Raisins Cinnamon Vanilla essence Vanilla sugar Almond essence Sugar Cow milk I haven’t been able to break my sleeping cycle, where I go to bed past two AM and get out of bed somewhere between 10 and 12. It takes hours for me to fall asleep. It’s not that big a deal, though, because I often write until around one o’clock in the night.  The hardest thing about leaving my bed, is…

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Wednesday, September 26, 2018

17:27 (05:27 PM)  “Should I start every online diary article with a form of “hello” and of “I’m very fond of your interest in me, my dear reader. That interest is mutual, so I ask you questions in my diary and I hope I’ll hear your answers to them one day. I hope I’ll get to know you better and that we’ll become good friends”¿” [I will be doing this differently, “from tomorrow onwards”. You’re still my Cuddle, though :D.] I hope that the many alternative forms of the same message have been clear throughout my previous diary posts. It’s…

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Tuesday, September 25, 2018

14:40 (02:40 PM)  Hi 😀 <3 The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I has passed all checks and is under review for the premium catalog now :]. I’ve used the same cover image as I published the old first episode with. I’m not sure if I should keep it…?  The price is now $17.77, of which up to 40% goes to the retailer [the exact amount depends on where you buy it].  You could already purchase it via Smashwords, if you like :D.  I intend to finish up the new Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 1 in…

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Monday, September 24, 2018

11:49 (AM)  My Cuddle!! <3 I have missed you soo much!! Those few days of not writing you, seemed to last forever… *Catts you* The Deleted Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I is basically finished. And I have received my publisher’s prefix!  I’m still working on the new Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 1. The new edition feels quite mechanic, because I have taken out the author’s perspective. I don’t think it’s right that I’ve followed that advice from people who aren’t even active participants in the project, but I do want to show you the extremely large…

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Friday, September 21, 2018

18:00 (06:00 PM)  Good evening, my dear reader <3 I am so curious to know how you perceive life. I can’t wait for project Nosce Te Ipsum to start!!  30 minutes ago, I handed in the final exam of the mathematics module I’d been following since January. Now, finally, D.O.C.I.S. International is my only focus! Studying and having a side-job I didn’t exaxtly do voluntarily. I feel quite relieved that I have less distractional occupations. Hopefully this will be so for the rest of our lives [I hope for the both of us!]. Unfortunately, there’s an interfering factor here…  My…

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Thursday, September 20, 2018

13:37 (01:37 PM)  Good afternoon, my Cuddle :] How’s your day?  —————————- I’m revising mathematics a little. The next things I’ll be doing are: * Buy HB pencil + gum * Buy some snacks?  * Drive and check in * Make a restaurant reservation?  * Have a few seconds to breathe in my hotel room  * Make previous exams achterstevoren… 15:51 (03:51 PM)  Earlier…  What’s your dinner time? Mine is 7… 18:51 (06:51 PM)  Haha I’m taking myself on a date. This is my second time by myself in a (non-fast food) restaurant. (But, as you might have read, going…

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Blog, Images, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Recipes, Reflections

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

02:13 (AM)  My Cuddle!  I have decided to delete parts of what I’ve previously written in this post. This diary has been used for me to vent, sometimes. As you might have noticed… It doesn’t leave room for the other anonymous party I was venting about to vent and it was just a minor aspect I needed to vent about, so what’s the point of keeping it in my history, right? [The “You’ve hurt me too often. I want to run away and never come back.” “You’re insane and irresponsible! Fine, stay away!!!” messages are something else. Dat is bijna…

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Tuesday, September 18, 2018

10:59 (AM) Good morning 😀 Have you, my reader, thought of what path you’d like to follow? That of the Practitioner, that of the Illuminatus, or that of the Illuminatus Intelligens? I’ve been thinking of making my entire blog password protected and allowing real Cuddles to make an account for login. Then, and only then, for avoiding spam reasons, having a forum would be nice. Just the thought of judgmental snakes acting as if they don’t know this side of me [Because, yes, to avoid “feedback”, I don’t tell anyone about this. I do NOT want negative feedback on being…

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Monday, September 17, 2018

09:55 (AM)  Good morning, My Cuddle <3 How was your night?  — Here’s my “breakfast smoothie”: In it, there are: raspberries, blueberries, some mango, red grapes, some bananas and water. (To add strawberries and some watermelon too would be nice.) 12:07 (AM)  Today, I’ll be making hand-picked exercises of unit 1 to 4.  That’s spread over two books haha.  12:52 (PM)  I want to ask Strato a question. Because of this: But the type of question I want to ask is not in the options of questions…  Hij doet het nog steeds niet -.-”  Ik typ mijn wachtwoord gewoon goed…

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Sunday, September 16, 2018

11:18 (AM)  My Cuddleeeee <3 Goede bijna middag 😀 How’s your weekend?  If you’re new to LilFangs.com: Welcome, new Cuddle! <3 Thank you for your engagement <33 Yesterday, an impulse made me do some pre-marketing. I hope this will help increase web-traffic when the official release date is. (Because then, I’ll do it again. It will then, for some, not be the first time you come across a personal ad.) I’m showing you my drafts and process, for the things we can learn from them.  The emptiness of my stomach woke me up this morning. I later fell asleep again….

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Saturday, September 15, 2018

12:43 (AM)  My Sweetniss <3 I’m trying to bridge the gap between my “web-traffic life” and “my existence ft. sapiens”. In “my existence ft sapiens” most people do not know that I am Lil Fangs. In my web traffic life, my audience is practically anonymous. I can see the web traffic increase every day [THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! <3], but I can’t see who my visitors are.  I made a Facebook page? I doubt if the engagement I will receive there will be large, but why not give it a shot, right? From my 490 “friends” [I had “more”, before….],…

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Friday, September 14, 2018

[SCROLL DOWN TO SEE A YOUTUBE VIDEO] 11:13 (AM)  Good morning, my Cuddle <3 I hope you’re just as pre-excited for the Nosce Te Ipsum release as I am :]. I like how I’ve extended the quest and (engagement) information about my (business) projects.  — I’ve been putting a lot of thought into agreeing with paying half of the £2.928,- tuition fee and my father paying the other half… That would be the entire “uitzet” I’ve been saving up for… I’d rather die than go back to sitting behind a desk most of my time, doing routinous work that is…

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Thursday, September 13, 2018

14:18 (02:18 PM)  Good afternoon :] <3 I hope you have plans of engaging in my projects. You won’t regret this! 😀 (If you’re Cuddle…) The info on how to engage will be published on September 30th.  My next statistics deadline is the 17th. It was my intention, since the assessment has 15 questions, to do about 30% of the questions today. (I started today.) I’ve already done 40% now, so I find that I have the rest of the day “off” again.  Haha “Pixel Action Heroes” is such a fun game! I’ve been playing it this morning as well……

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