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Online Diary

Blog, Online Diary

Cold Case 17 [Thursday, April 18, 2019]

14:31 (02:31 PM) Heyy ♥ I’ve been called crazy plentyyy of times for sticking to my strong belief of not being weak-minded, but, on the contrary, having cognitive abilities far above average, and persevering my business case. It might look as if I’m throwing punches in a void, but from one day – the day on which I’m reunited with my B – onwards, those who have wronged me and those who have been unfairly taking advantage of the system (to some people, both features apply), will be brought to justice, and D.O.C.I.S. International will roll out its “future” business…

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Blog, Online Diary

Cold Case 16 [Wednesday, April 17, 2019]

14:17 (02:17 PM) Goede middag 🙂 ♥ 16 days have passed since the prospect of an encounter that could bring me justice regarding my brain-to-brain communication not being schizophrenia, has been confirmed with certainty. It unfortunately has still (in reality, I’ve been fighting for this for almost two years straight now) not taken place. I’ll keep calling my posts “cold case” until it happens! (Like a mini-protest.) And I’ll pick up where I left off yesterday 🙂 . Meoww I should ask the people I’ve mentioned in my diary yesterday for permission to keep the article the way it is….

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Blog, Images, Media, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Videos

Cold Case 15 [Tuesday, April 16, 2019]

14:22 (02:22 PM) Good afternoon ♥ Exactly one year ago, I wrote my first online diary post. And yesterday, I shared the first fundamentals of the alternative economic system I live for to see it thrive. My written content has evolved a lot, in the past year 🙂 . Something that has stayed stagnate, however, is my development in finding a suitable audience. The things I write about and the concepts I want to tackle collectively, apply to all of our lives. But the majority of people in what I considered my social circle, would rather look away and say…

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1yr, Cold Case 14 [Monday, April 15, 2019]

00:11 (12:11 AM) Hooraaaaaaay, LilFangs.com exists one year today! ♥ Sooo much has happened since the very spontaneous “in medias res” start of this blog! Visiting Paris and (multiple cities in) Suriname (again), escaping psychiatric surveillance by running away to the US, almost going homeless in the US so coming back and still escaping surveillance by working full-time in an office for the first time in my life, scoring my first “university” study points, the long and difficult search to find suitable Graeynissis for my business (and to befriend), of course, releasing many books and articles, and muuuuuch more 🙂…

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Cold Case 13 [Sunday, April 14, 2019]

01:35 (AM) Meoow, tomorrow, my blog exists for one year. I wonder if I’m going to celebrate it by getting intoxicated by myself, the way I always celebrate my book releases, because I don’t know anyone who keeps up with and appreciates my writing, personally. Plus, I don’t have the funds to throw a party 🙁 . I also, looking back at my first post on here, wonder why the fuck I still spend sooooo much time with my family. Why don’t they want to let me go for good, eternally x_x. I’m so tired of listening to their long…

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Cold Case 12 [Saturday, April 13, 2019]

02:35 (AM) I feel like making kruidkoek today 🙂 . No news from my mother yet. I don’t want to sound like a stalker, though. Asking soo much of her time to fix some issue of mine, in which I’m indirectly legally limited – after the whole fucking unnecessary police search thing – so dependency. I still need Mathematical model of Fangyist labor (processable in mobile application, dependent on NTI answers) Ambassadors/people who would like to be audience A screenplay budget (and a list of pricing options) Overture example translated to mathematics A finished contract [As in deadline but I…

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Cold Case 11 [Friday, April 12, 2019]

00:21 (12:21 PM) Meoww I meant three e-mails (to three different people) and I have not sent them yett. This far, all of my e-mails ever sent – aside from what I sent Dr. Crutzen about campaigning – have not led to the type of partnership I attempt to create. I want the three newly composed ones to be structured in such a way that any form of addition to my organization, is the only thing it could lead to. Meoww I fell asleep right after having played the piano. I’m going to continue sleeping, so I’ll talk to you…

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Cold Case 10 [Thursday, April 11, 2019]

05:40 (AM) Goood morning ♥ I was able to get myself out of bed. I need to leave the house around 06:15 AM xxx. ~~~ 06:47 (AM) I’m in the metrooo. I brought myself something to read along the way haha ~~~ 11:01 (AM) I’m having funnn I like listening to the perspectives of people with influence. It’s inspiring 🙂 . Haha meoww I played “stage volunteer” but I couldn’t help but vent a little pessimism, while my task was to defend optimism. Consider it Fangyism, because I just really had to indirectly mention that this “marketing neo-capitalism” we’re living…

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Cold Case 9 [Wednesday, April 10, 2019]

17:26 (05:26 PM) It was a lot of fun in the park with Shandery today 🙂 . I like how we have a similar attitude towards social situations :). I’m going to cycle home now xxx. I wonder if my mother has news for me yet? Regarding Dr. Crutzen. ¿ ~~~ 20:55 (08:55 PM) ~~~ 21:17 (09:17 PM) ~~~ 22:59 (10:59 PM) Meoow I’m going to attend the HBR Executive Event in Amsterdam, tomorrow. Now that my mother has told me she will send me another “Personal Donation”, otherwise I wouldn’t have attended haha… (Because I wouldn’t be able to.)…

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Cold Case 8 [Tuesday, April 9, 2019]

01:15 (AM) Meoww D.O.C.I.S. International had a net loss of €96.14, the first quarter of 2019, I just calculated 🙁 . This is included in the loss I spoke of two days ago. Luckily I owe the right to a tax back of 21% on (taxable) business expenses. It sucks that, in theory, I now have to pay 21% of the €34.84 (though these were my own purchases 🙁 ) I’ve “earned”, to the government -.- . Haa I got distracted from book keeping. Oh meoww I’ve spent even more, actually. I need to add my PayPal account to my…

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Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Personal Financial Objective

I have earned more than €7 million in 5 years’ time. My carpe diem mentality (and distrust of financial markets) has incentivized me to enjoy it now – by investing it in friendships and purchasing gadgets I like – and turn it into a long-term financial safety net by investing in the hobbies I could make a living with. I have spent more than that €7 million in that same period of time. I must say that I’m a bit heart broken to find out how much I can earn, in this way. I usually end my month with about…

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Cold Case 7 [Monday, April 8, 2019]

01:27 (AM) I love Mondays, because it’s a lot more quiet around, when people are at work 🙂 . I hope I’ll be able to hand dr. Crutzen his contract today 🙂 . I’m working on the renewed contract, in my bed. Here is a sneak preview of the contract I wanted to offer him in 2017: This was a previous attempt of me to free myself from psychiatric surveillance and intertwine our lives. (With no success…) The D.O.C.I.S. International contract is built up very differently and is written in English. The personal side of my case is not part…

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Blog, Images, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Strategy

Cold Case 6 [Sunday, April 7, 2019]

01:59 (AM) Back-up in the cloud and on my laptop itself? Back-up on an external device? A back-up on paper? If the bank loses my files they’re in trouble. Back-up on a satellite? Back-up 10000 meters below sea level? What is trust? [Het financieel systeem is zo lek als een mandje. Uiteindelijk klopt mijn boekhouding nog he… Hoeveel procent van de wereldbevolking is fraudeur?] Oh boy, I need to be in the city center of Rotterdam at about 11 o’clock today. To cheer for my mother, because she’s going to run a marathon tomorrow. My god please do not expect…

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Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Cold Case 5 [Saturday, April 6, 2019]

01:10 (AM) ~~~ 19:54 (07:54 PM) I went to sleep around 6 AM x_x. Doing my bookkeeping is addictive 😮 . It was hard for me to quit adding new entries. Now I have all rough data for this quarter, I need for my tax report of the first quarter of this year, and I can make my own fun charts with :D. Having your bookkeeping in this format is required to become an official partner of D.O.C.I.S. International (as an individual), because in that way we can make sure that we are financially in synch, and we can use…

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Cold Case 4 [Friday, April 5, 2019]

03:55 (AM) Meoww yess so I’m now going to add the final layer of fun complexity to the “I developed a major crush on someone who might turn out to be my actual biological father, who has also been the motive for other people, to diagnose me with schizophrenia” story that is part of my cold case: he (dr. Crutzen) has always been able to hear me reason, and as I matured (forgetting parts of my childhood), and he mentally identifies himself through my reasoning (just like many other people), he might have forgotten that he is my father, and…

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Cold Case 3 & Tasksss [Thursday, April 4, 2019]

00:56 (12:56 AM) Meoww I ended up still going to the gym and later accompanied a friend to the university library, while I was doing my depressing book keeping. I need a donation/investment to make my business look more attractive, and that could then lead to anything that looks like revenue. Currently, I have no income. Only fucking high personal expenses (from my personal account) to escape my parents’ home. And then I get so broke that I have no other option but to go home. Every fucking time. I hope my B will save me! 🙁 There are no…

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Cold Case 2 & Bookkeeping [Wednesday, April 3, 2019]

02:05 (AM) [(As usual) I’m elaborating on what I said yesterday.] To prevent more distortion in the story about me, I think a “public debate” (though I wanted to keep things simple and private, but that is not an option) would be good. To let both sides of the story about me be heard at one occasion, and let people then form their own opinions. Instead of just following those lies that were spread about me, when I was “missing”. I would appreciate it a lot, if we could stir in my debate about Keynes and the practices of the…

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Cold Case [Tuesday, April 2, 2019]

15:53 (03:53 PM) Hi ♥ Just like yesterday and manyyy days before that, I’m still in bed (around this time)… I’m not outing how much of a bed pet I am that often – in comparison with how often I’m exhausted and self-cuddly like this. That’s because it’s my guilty pleasure… Dutch culture is all about getting up early and doing things together, saying that you contribute to society. My bed pettiness is considered a symptom of the illness I believe I do not have (schizophrenia), so I’m very incentivized to not shout it from the rooftops. I reallyyy can’t…

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Blog, Online Diary

Grrr [Monday, April 1, 2019]

03:54 (AM) The most important part of my list is done. My websites are updated with The Hypothesis. I’m now going to relax until I may finally see the person who I really want to have in my life. I have worked very hard, though unpaid, and have deserved a moment to relax my brain. Of course, I’m tasked with making dinner today. Other than that, I’m going to do non-business-related things I’m in the mood for. Yes, on a Monday. ~~~ 19:00 (07:00 PM) I decided to “keep it simple”. So that I have enough time to visit the…

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Blog, Online Diary

To-do List [Sunday, March 31, 2019]

04:13 (AM) Meoww I fear being called a schizophrenic for being awake so late/early still. Are the lights too dim? These are a few of my answers to the questions in The Hypothesis: I came across this: ~~~ 11:08 (AM)~~~ 11:25 (AM) Meanwhile, there’s this hypothesis “how I’m going to get the fuck out of my parents’ house” I’ve also been working on for quite a while. It involves my B 😀 . And I have a candidate for my CouncilCorrection: I do nottt. ~~~

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Blog, Online Diary

Episode 5 [Saturday, March 30, 2019]

03:33 (AM) If all goes well, my newest book will be online this evening. I’m quite proud of the cover I created for it: It’s 30/03 03:33. Make a wish! Haha meow I wish everyone with a good heart a lot of success in life. Bad people I don’t wish this, because that makes the world worse. That typing was quite random. I’m off to beddd xxx ~~~ 23:23 (11:23 PM) My new episode is online 🙂 . I’m doing some revisions… 84 mini pages, themed with a new democracy 🙂 . Websites D.O.C.I.S. International and LilFangs.com have to be…

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Blog, Online Diary

Clarity¿ [Friday, March 29, 2019]

00:47 (12:47 AM) Meoww I just made my comment section as well as my forum fully open, instead of requiring login at the forum and name and e-mail for comments. From analyzing my statistics, I see that this isn’t a place for visits that are that frequent, compared to visiting Facebook, whatever news source or Google or something, so the incentive to make an account isn’t that large, I guess. I find it all too quiet, so I hope this will help me get some more social action on here 🙂 . Especially now that The Hypothesis will be released……

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Blog, Online Diary

The Niss Continues [Thursday, March 28, 2019]

15:45 (03:45 PM) Meoww I have some news for you, but no definitive news yet, unfortunately. The pro and contra camps have been defined further. I was invited to lunch and had one of the best one-sided sandwiches I’ve ever had: “Broodje Jofel” The reason was to tell me that the phone conversation has been postponed and to say that my e-mails have scared off my B so much that he’s now more scared off? I haven’t read the message in which he told my mother this, because she kept reiterating that I should stop sending him e-mails, because that…

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Nerve Wracking Niss [Wednesday, March 27, 2019]

21:24 (09:24 PM) I hadn’t shared this in my diary yet, but the decisive moment that will either confirm my supernatural hearing, or confirm my schizophrenia, will take place tomorrow morning. Schizophrenia had been confirmed starting two years ago, but my side of the story and the story of my only witness, have not been included in that case. I might finally have a shot at clearing my name and be reunited with someone I love so dearly. Actually, that moment would take place today, but my B his trains were delayed, so it has been postponed to tomorrow morning….

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Blog, Online Diary

The Sound [Tuesday, March 26, 2019]

08:23 (AM) Good morning! ♥ It’s like I can hear the sound of our “once a month” air alarm build up in the far distance. And today is not the first Monday of the month… If “it” would happen today, I wouldn’t mind. I would be happy with the cognitive challenge. To finally live under circumstances where most of my talents aren’t wasted. Even though things might become critical, I’d be happy to see a new side of life and for the balance of nature to restore. I always wake up when I hear people get ready for work/school. And…

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“Reminiscing” & Writing [Monday, March 25, 2019]

14:15 (02:15 PM) Heyy ♥ My long term goal is to put my concepts for the development of my non-profit publishing and charity business into a multifunctional non-profit multinational, into practice. It’s not simple, to find funding for this concept. So I’m very glad that yesterday, when I was thinking of finding another way to prove my expertise, I came across the University of Antwerp, which seems to have a very simple admission process, which, for this curriculum, apparently closed on the 14th of March. I hope I can still get in… In that way, I can prove my expertise,…

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Cooking & Strategizing [Sunday, March 24, 2019]

16:58 (04:58 PM) My love ♥ An impulsive Google Search session earlier today, has inspired me to follow a new and more effective strategy to achieve my goals. I will tell you all about it, but first I’ll be taking care of dinner, because my writing makes me very hungry. So I’ll be making this three course meal, as I wait for my relatives to come home. I’m going to make an improvisation of mashed potatoes, a combination of spinach and read coal with apples, “Caribbean shrimp” and parsnip-asparagus soup. And I bought ice cream for dessert 🙂 . I’ll…

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Blog, Online Diary

Shifting [Saturday, March 23, 2019]

21:47 (09:47 PM) Good evening ♥ I hope you’re having a great weekend. Mine is… Turbulent… Since yesterday, I moved back in with my parents. It was a very tough decision to make, due to all that has happened in the past, of which I do not want to see ANOTHER rerun. But aside from the heated argument between my father and I – the disagreements are the reason why I prefer to move out as soon as possible – in this restaurant where we had lunch yesterday, things are relatively peaceful. Most of our disagreements are about the situation…

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Blog, Online Diary

Wtf¿ [Thursday, March 21, 2019]

01:17 (AM)  This is a very interesting feature of Rotterdam:  According to the nearest surrounding points of flood height (and thus depth of land) it seems to be where the flood starts, if here nothing happens at all.  Meoww I’m going to eat some soup, watch some more elections tv and go to sleepp Love youu ♥ ~~~ 15:24 (03:24 PM)  Jeeeeeez today is a heavily turbulent day. Weeks ago, I planned to be fully focused on writing today. But it seems like I’ll have to pick up my belongings in Amsterdam. Because the “if you sleep in Amsterdam, Jamiro…

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Voting & Writing [Wednesday, March 20, 2019]

13:05 (01:05 PM) Heyy ♥ My original plan was to write, vote, smoke some (I quit from December 9th until the day before I reopened my diary), write, eat and sleep. But my mother has asked me to join her for lunch like 30 minutes ago, and I can’t say no to good quality foods. Especially not when I’m hungry…  It’s a lot harder for me to get out of bed, now that I feel my time to write vanish into thin air, and the load of shitty conversation that’s ahead of me.  But I have to get out of bed,…

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Blog, Online Diary

The Hypothesis [Tuesday, March 19, 2019]

12:17 (PM)  Good afternoon ♥ Meoww I hoped that I would have found investors by the time the final episode of the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series will be released. But low budget Fangs is still getting at it…  The last episode is what I still want to use for the overall campaign for raising awareness on D.O.C.I.S. International as a whole. So I’ll just finish that and continue my search for investors. Now, my focus has shifted, though. The weeks before this, I was working on my Overture and correspondence with the case manager who helps…

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Blog, Online Diary

Meow x_x [Monday, March 18, 2019]

12:43 (PM)  Good afternoon ♥ I’m in a “vervoer op maat” (transport for those who can’t travel themselves due to physical circumstances) van, on my way to my parents’ place, together with my grandmother.  She’s able to travel by herself, but she has this “vervoer op maat” members pass that expires when she doesn’t use it. It’s one of her first times using this. It’s my very first time in a van like this. Secretly hoping that it will never become a habit for any of us.  She had plans of going shopping with my mother. So I guess I’m…

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Gasppp [Sunday, March 17, 2019]

12:56 (PM)  Heey ♥ Meoww I’m still in bed (as usual x_x). I kind of don’t want to ever leave it again. Especially after last night’s: “We need to speak to you tomorrow.” It’s what the woman whose house I’m currently living in, told me last night, before I went to sleep.  To explain my relationship with her again: she’s the wife of mr. Elia’s (who is “my father”) ex-colleague. They became friends before I was born. That’s why I’ve always considered the children of those family friends, are my cousins.  But when I secretly went to a coffeeshop to…

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