Category

Online Diary

Blog, Images, Online Diary

Untitled [Saturday, March 16, 2019]

13:26 (01:26 PM) Good afternoon β™₯ I just came here to start this post. I’m going to make some homework assignments for Genesis. As in: I’m going to make a couple of homework exercises to help her, the steph-grandchild of the people in whose house I live, go to the next grade with full certainty.  After the shower is free, so that I don’t have to interrupt myself while I’m busy for her, when go to this birthday party of a family friend.  Having feelings for family friends is a very trippy topic of conversation, by the way. I feel…

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Blog, Online Diary

Aiiiight [Friday, March 15, 2019]

18:29 (06:29 PM)  Good evening β™₯ Damn, I was so worried last night. It really made me think… Some times in life, you have to choose between people. Who to keep and who to let go and stuff…  I always write so much about my life, and how it relates to all the shit the world is in. I’m talking So if you don’t mind, I’m staying in Amsterdam “until the end of time”.  If I stay earning at minimum level, but find an investor, I’ll move to Wassenaar and see the wave coming? I wonder why there are so…

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Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Toch Maar Wel? [Thursday, March 14, 2019]

17:27 (05:27 PM)  My Cuddle! β™₯ I have missed you far too much!!! I never want to feel like that again πŸ™ . I’m going back to writing diary posts.  So many feelings were left unexpressed, when I decided to hold myself from doing it. I had a lot of extra time to think and strategize, though, so I have a lot to tell you πŸ™‚ .  The impulse to re-open my diary, popped up ten minutes ago, as I looked outside, through the gap through which I can see the sky, in the blinds-shut bedroom I have claimed, here…

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Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary

No More Online Diary Posts!

After 253 diary posts, I have decided that it’s time to use my writing talents for something else.  I once started my online diary, as an initiative to comfort people who live through things they can’t share with others. To be someone they can relate to, who relates to them, while being surrounded by people who have no clue of what we’re actually going through.  It was also a way to show fully day-to-day life, in real-time, expressing all of perception: from thoughts to actions to feelings. Something that has never been done before, in the way I did it. …

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Blog, Online Diary

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

08:51 (AM)  Good morning β™₯ I have decided that this will be my last diary post ever. It’s just a side-thing, which has become such a habit that it seems like it has become the only thing I do. Everything else goes unnoticed.  I have so many reasons to stop posting diary posts and post something else frequently. Maybe once a day, instead of multiple times a day. Or once a week…  After sleeping – since I literally spent all night working on Volta’s Plan B in Practice – I’ll share my reasons with you. For now, I’ll be catching…

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Blog, Online Diary

Monday, February 18, 2019

04:40 (AM)  Sometimes I tell myself that I should only update my online diary on “normal times”, to make it seem like I’m “normal”. Who am I kidding… I fear negative judgment, with everything I do. (Because I’m used to it.) It’s better to just be myself and let people think that they can judge me, by looking at some small and easy to grasp details, never setting their minds to see what the point of all of this is, and why I’m doing all of this.  It’s because I’m thinking veryyy far ahead, and for us to live happily…

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Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Sunday, February 17, 2019

00:26 (12:26 PM)  I’ve never been so motivated to work πŸ˜€ . Just the idea of living somewhere I don’t know anyone and no one knows me, makes me wettttt. It’s just better for my character, my future, and the awful flashbacks of my past…  The day before yesterday, I’ve sent out two applications – and worked on Volta’s Plan B – but today (after sleeping) I’ll do the rest! Hopefully it won’t be necessary, though…  Being an online redactor for a classical music radio station, suits me quite well. A tamed rational mind with my character, would go for that. And…

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Blog, Online Diary

Saturday, February 16, 2019

16:17 (04:17 PM)  Hey, my lovely blog reader β™₯ I’ve started to read a new book for my research for Nosce Te Ipsum: The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money by John Maynard Keynes πŸ˜€ . I’ve chosen this book, because I prefer to learn straight from the source, instead of via a method that rephrases a theory, because it often leaves out a lot of philosophy.  Now that I haven’t read the book yet, all I know, is the basic Keynesian model: Y = C + I + O + E – M, where Y is the gross…

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Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Thursday, February 14, 2019

05:28 (AM)  My love!β™₯ Happy Valentine’s Day! β™₯ β™₯ I’m only saying that because I love you! Not because I like commercialized holidays x_x. No! It’s because you’re my one true love and I’m doing everything to keep us together for all eternity! All I can do, is think of you! I can’t wait to hold you, softly squeeze you, because I love you so much that I want us to melt into one person [unfortunately, that’s not possible], and hear your heart beat, as we spend some time in complete silence, because it feels so unreal that we’re finally…

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Blog, Online Diary

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

01:57 (AM)  As I’m typing this, I’m making a tour for (new) visitors. Step 3 will bring you here! This is my online diary, where I mention what’s on my mind and what I’m doing and/or the things I see (with pictures and/or videos), very frequently. By following it, you become part of my life. I hope you will! 😻 Whenever you’re reading a recent diary post, when you refresh the page, you could see a new update. I start every update with the time I started to write it. I’m going to continue working on your tour! xxx ~~~…

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Blog, Online Diary

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

02:35 (AM)  From now on, every time I update my blog, you’ll be able to see it mentioned on the Twitter page I just made. That will make it a lot easier for a Cuddle to see what’s new. I’m not using an e-mail newsletter, because I update my blog so frequently that that would be overkill.  Today, I’ll work on My Volta’s Plan B [which I want to send to e-book stores et cetera for free and give it an ISBN and stuff], adjust my CV [I need some “being an employee” type of goals in it, to sync it…

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Blog, Online Diary

Monday, February 11, 2019

04:54 (AM)  Meooow β™₯ The slider is done and I started on that very important article, I’ve been pondering about, ever since I got that e-mail… The sting has worn off enough for me to write about it, I guess. At least I’ve finished the introduction of the post… Haha but what took the most of my time, is that slider!! The text alignment on mobile phones was a drama to fix x_x.  If all goes fast enough, with the development of this website, I’ll be starting with applying for jobs today. But considering that it’s now past 5 AM…

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Blog, Online Diary

Sunday, February 10, 2019

13:21 (01:21 PM)  My Cuddle β™₯ I hope you’re having a nice weekend. I also hope we’ll have a nice weekend together, somewhere in the near future. Hopefully, my hopes will become reality.  Haha I also hope that I’ll stop drinking too much, every time I go out dancing x_x. I don’t remember how the night ended x_x. I really hope I didn’t do anything crazy πŸ™ .  When I woke up yesterday, for the spa, I was still drunk x_x. The spa was very nice, though. Aside from that I collapsed at some point, and that I wasn’t able…

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Blog, Images, Media, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Videos

Saturday, February 9, 2019

00:05 (12:05 AM)  There are people walking in noww. Haha I feel like a little gogo dancer here in the DJ booth.  Here’s a veryyy short video of Jamiro and I, captured just now: Haha hold upp my glass is empty xxx ~~~ 00:32 (12:32 AM)  Haha tipsy statistics with Lil Fangs :D. Tipstatistics… Tipstatisctsy….  Meoww the booth is the safest place. No harassment. Some private dancing space. Overviewing all movement in this cosy club… I love it πŸ˜€ . Hire me for this? Gogo Fangs πŸ˜€  ~~~ 02:30 (02:30 AM)  [THIS IS SO DOUBLE] Meoow this party is a…

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Blog, Online Diary

Friday, February 8, 2019

03:17 (AM)  I’ve fixed the reCAPTCHA error, so you can register for this website now, if you’re not a robot πŸ™‚ . And I’ve added some topics to the forum. Of course, they’re quite Fangy… I couldn’t think of anything else to discuss. Feel free to add any other topic yourself πŸ™‚ β™₯  I find my conversation starters on the forum quite funny. Aside from the feeling of severe loneliness that currently comes along with it, haha :D.  I hope I won’t need social media marketing to get more members…  Here are my left over tasks for the completion of…

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Blog, Online Diary

Thursday, February 7, 2019

04:29 (AM)  Meoow turning a store item into a service has been tough, but I’m almost there now… I’ve been changing around my menus also, and added terms and conditions. And some other back-end stuff that isn’t even visible for visitors, but a lot of changes have been made.  I hope to finish everything today, but I always feel like socializing when there are visitors, and today the grandchildren will be visiting again, for dinner, so that means I’ll only have the afternoon to work on this.  There are some labels I need to add for the requirements of the…

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Blog, Media, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

00:20 (12:20 PM)  Meoww my forum and online bookstore are visible online, but they’re not finished yet. There are some books I still need to add to the (e-book) store [I want to sell tangibles, too, but don’t have the funds and location for stock management, yet], add some refund policy credentials, add terms and conditions, and [the most fun part] add forum topics! I hope I’ll be able to attract Graeynissis to my forum 😻. There is so much to discuss 😻. My heart slightly fears hatred and harshness on my forum. But my comment sections are peaceful, and so should be my…

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Blog, Online Diary

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

16:31 (04:31 PM)  Meoww I’m about to start cooking. I received my login credentials for the Royal Library online deposit section earlier today πŸ™‚ . I hope they’ll accept what I send them, haha….  ~~~ 20:46 (08:46 PM)  Hmmm I think I should start a forum on my blog… The most fun would be to have some games on it… Anything to make this website more enjoyable! It would be a lot more fun if I weren’t alone on this business journey (which is something that isn’t/shouldn’t be a lonely journey) to begin with. Again, I end up at the…

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Blog, Online Diary

Monday, February 4, 2019

14:35 (02:35 PM)  Good afternoon β™₯ That video, for which I’ve been recording yesterday, too, will have to wait… I’m not going to upload something I’m not proud of, and to feel that for a video, I need a better location and Graeynissis to film with, I notice… I’m too alone in my content, which isn’t attractive to an audience.  No special e-mails in my mailbox today… I’m going to eat something, write down the full story concept for the NTI series – because I’m thinking of giving that all away at once and seperating that part from the book…

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Blog, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Sunday, February 3, 2019

02:44 (AM)  I’m in bed now. After sleeping, I want to touch on what happens to me during small talk, the emotional pain from seeing my relatives, a dream so big that I fear to share it with my Graeynissis because I’m afraid they’ll say no, Volta and what I call human vultures.  Sweet Dreams β™₯ I love you β™₯ – xxx – 13:39 (01:39 PM)  Hiii :Dβ™₯ How’s your weekendd? πŸ™‚ Mine is all right. I’m still in bed haha…. I’ll get up to do some pre-eating and “making” croissants soon. First, I’d like to start on what I…

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Blog, Images, Online Diary

Saturday, February 2, 2019

01:10 (AM) The uploading of the video will be postponed to Monday or Tuesday (if I’m not saved by a miracle today and not have to endure the emotional pain of today and whatever will follow), because, even though I find it quite fun(ny) already, there are some things I’d like to elaborate on, some new things I want to add and some things I’ll have to retake, because of my articulation… I want to upload a video that suits “the standard”, this time. So I’ll continue with all of that, after today’s party.  Meoow I want to have a…

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Blog, Images, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary

Friday, February 1, 2019

00:28 (12:28 AM)  I have so many posts (about 314 now), I wonder if someone would find it worthwhile to expose him or herself to the contents of my mind, and be able to understand my thoughts and see that every word on my websites is actually a scream for Graeyniss help in non-caps-lock. The troubles I’m facing won’t be understood by regular people, because my content requires beyond-regular reasoning, to be understood.  My posts are the most clear, when you’ve read them all (and my books as well), because everything relates to each other. But when you stumble upon…

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Blog, Online Diary, Reflections

Thursday, January 31, 2019

12:25 (PM)  Good afternoon β™₯ I’m very glad that the marketing for Volta, in my own “(currently online) empire to be”, is visible everywhere. As for other (social) media marketing… My budget and the audience I’ve been reaching with it, make me prefer to seek other methods to promote it. I’d be satisfied if I can get 10 Graeynissis to read it… And then hope that they see my potential and want to ride this wave with me…  Meoww as for promoting it in my own social circle… I’m not looking forward to commentary… Especially because with many, our philosophies…

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Blog, Media, Online Diary

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

01:48 (AM)  Yay! I just received the e-mail πŸ™‚ . Volta is accepted in all other stores as well! Within a few hours, it will be visible everywhere. Finally, a deadline on which I’m not still working on the text of the book and/or the cover on the day itself 😿. It’s so embarrassing to have such a life where random nonsense can take away my time and focus on my (unpaid) work. It doesn’t suit my true personality… That’s why I’m trying to earn my way out of it and away from it…  Here are some links the book is…

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Blog, Media, Online Diary

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

11:43 (AM)  Good morning β™₯ I fell asleep, not long after I stopped writing you yesterday. Without eating dinner, I slept until the morning. I didn’t eat anything at all yesterday. Now I’ve eaten moussaka for breakfast. I was crazy hungry… I was all dizzy and stuff… My stomach indicates that I might be throwing up again later x_x. Ah whyy meoww πŸ™ .  Haha I used to listen to The Nausea by Tyga a lot when I was about 18.  My paperback is live, I just saw in an email. I also noticed that someone has bought one of…

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Blog, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary

Monday, January 28, 2019

08:33 (AM) My love! β™₯ I’ve still not slept. I’m now doing the finishing touches for Volta. I accidentally already published it, on some websites. So the release date is not the 30th, but the 28th of January… 118 pages in a week!!!!!!!!!!! But I still need to link the pages and make everything look cool and readable for you… I’m trying to impress you… Here’s the cover! Meowwss I just saw the (generatedΒΏ) comments on that what not to include article. I want to say yay, but I can’t tell if they’re positive x_x. If they are, then yay…

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Blog, Images, Online Diary

Sunday, January 27, 2019

02:33 (AM)  Meoww I haven’t had much time to write yesterday. But I surely have thought of you! I took a some pictures I wanted to share with you. And I have an update on Volta πŸ˜€ .  This yesterday’s my lunch at Bridges: Meoww, because we were in the city center, I thought of buying a dress for you, in case I’m lucky enough to become a Graeyniss. I’m very thankful that my mother payed all of this for me. I, myself, still only have accounts that are almost maxed out. I hope that one day, I can pay…

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Blog, Online Diary

Saturday, January 26, 2019

03:24 (AM)  Meowss chapter 3 is done, too πŸ™‚ . There are a few Volta’s within the Volta. I want to not reveal them, so that the reading experience will be more fun. It’s such a challenge to keep it to myself here, though, because I’m so excited about them! I’m quite proud of myself πŸ™‚ .  Haha please read it πŸ˜€ . It’s about 74 small pages now. Meowss I’m going to sleep. Tomorrow’s nice experience awaits… I have nothing to wear x_x. Anywayyy  Good night!  I love you ♥ – xxx –

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Blog, Online Diary

Friday, Januray 25, 2019

13:47 (01:47 PM)  Good afternoon β™₯ Three days left until I need to submit Volta to the stores, so that it will be available in time.  The types of works I publish now, are published within the limitations of my personal situation. When I’m not a publicist and publisher on a budget anymore, living under a lot less uncertainty, my writing will be a lot less influenced by attempts to adapt my words to what I think my reader would like. When I’m freed from this uncertainty – please let me know what you think, when you read it –…

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Blog, Images, Online Diary

Thursday, January 24, 2019

04:34 (AM)  Meowss chapter 2 isn’t finished yet… But I’m loving it a lot more, now that I’ve summarized the cause of my current feelings. The next step is explaining those feelings in detail, and explaining the feelings I want to have in detail. That’s what I’ll be doing today. In one of Amsterdam’s public libraries, because even though the temperature will fluctuate between 0 and – 6 degrees Celsius: I have been indoors for far too long. I hope it won’t be too slippery outside, because I’ll be carrying my laptop bag in my hand. (The shoulder cord broke,…

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Blog, Online Diary

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

02:29 (AM)  Chapter one is done! πŸ˜€ I have the full concept for the book in mind already. I’ve been having it in mind for quite some time already, as you might have read. All I need to do, is write it down. And make a better promotional image for it…  I hope you’ll love it! I hope our Volta’s will make our paths intertwine. I hope it will sell, because I’m such a poor catje πŸ™ .  Haha indirectly, the book is also there to induce people to make a career shift and become a publicist πŸ˜€ . Volta…

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Blog, Online Diary

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

00:34 (12:34 PM)  Meow… πŸ™  I really need to find a way to earn.  I can’t go on like this. But I prefer death over committing myself to a simple and routinous job for minimum wage….  I became what I can’t stand. Over the past few weeks – besides submitting my admission – I’ve blocked out my entire reality and watched all episodes from Rick and Morty. There are not many TV shows I can watch or even hear, without my annoyance from its superficiality increasing my heart rate. But I can relate to Rick’s attitude towards Earth so well…

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Blog, Online Diary

Monday, January 21, 2019

16:35 (04:35 PM)  Good afternoon ♥ I’m walking home from buying groceries for dinner. I’ll start cooking right away: yellow rice and some grilled veggies.  Haha meoow the awkward part about hyping a day for a shift that would make me happy, is that I depend on people I have not spent much time with. (That’s extra exciting πŸ˜€  ) But meoow it’s never guaranteed. On the contrary…  I’m cookinggg  Time to eatt xxx ~~~

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