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Victor Geskes D.O.C.I.S. International
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A Hypothetical Organizational D.O.C.I.S. DraftFeatured

My last couple of posts I have spent clarifying that what I state here is not fiction, but a sketch of what the future looks like in an ideal situation, in my view. A selection of people I’ve come across in any way, have, with the (alternative) potential I see in them, occurred in this diary, in the context of my business. Because I think that the unification of us would make an incomparable difference. Never before have I displayed these individuals with an image, as (some of) those who I consider the Graeynissis with whom I will build the…

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This is not a game
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This is not a Game.

For I’m losing my patience with life, I’ll lay out a strategy about how to restore order after power ends up 100% in the hands of het proletariaat. This is not a game. Though they treat it like it is because they’re trying to seize present power (collectively 🙄 ), while they don’t have a future plan. And this post includes an actual picture of Tishe. 😮 😻 My love, I’m (as usual) picking up where I left off yesterday. But as I announced in Even een Kleine Stand van Zaken, I won’t include dates in post titles anymore. In the…

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they have no plan featured image white house police line
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They have no Plan?

So the people have worked tirelessly for years, to take away the power of those who are in a position of power. It seems like 2020 will be their year. And now? They have no plan, I assume. My love, > They have no Plan What is happening now is like one of those Christmas movie scenes where 100 people standing in a row side to side pass on a package to wherever, with big smiles on their faces, while even a jogging toddler could do the job faster. Judicial power, executive power and (EVEN) legislative power, together with the…

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read at your own risk
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Read at your own Risk / Lezen op eigen Risico

A spark of curiosity? I’m not holding back in this post, so this is really is to be read at your own risk. Het is ook onvertaald tweetalig, vandaar ook “lezen op eigen risico”. In this post, I state my views without euphemizing them. My love, I’m writing this to settle my emotions. My heart is in severe pain. I don’t know if you feel what you read, but it is why I say read this at your own risk. > Here’s an Idea – First some Background Some females ruin it for other females. Those females who do “Ah…

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december manifest
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December Manifest

The previous manifest was a declaration of policy. The December Manifest describes my present aim and is, to you, a direct call-to-action. December is here and I have some wildly serious plans for us. Choose what to indulge in. I’m giving you an outline. The outline of the outline is that you are a Fangyist, look out for your fellow Graeynissis and turn your life around right now. This month will make 2019 matter the most, if you let me. Read closely. My love, Holiday Season 😖 It is the last month of the year and there are too many…

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Afternoon Improv

Afternoon Improv is online on your favorite streaming platform now! My love, Especially if you, like me, are not a fan of (commercialized) holidays, I recommend you to play this song on repeat all month long. Its intuitiveness brings a new eargasmic surprise every time you listen to it. Afternoon Improv is the cure to that “Oh noo not this ***** Decmber holiday song that will stay stuck in my head for days,” annoyance that comes with living at the end of the year. Find Afternoon Improv… live on Spotify live on iTunes live on Apple Music live on Google…

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24 Keys 24 Hours is in stores now!

My love, 24 Keys 24 Hours is in (online) stores now! It consists of 12 pieces. “Tracks” sounds too corny. Especially because it is not created to dance to. Also not to cry to or to be gangster to. An aphrodisiac it is also absolutely not. It is a little delicacy – incomparable – that shows you a hint of my musical mind. The total 24 Keys 24 Hours, 24K24H (two four kay two four aitch (further touf kay touf aitch)) in de volksmond, has been produced in (far) less than 24 hours. (And my MIDI keyboard has 2 octaves…

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A Reflection about Attraction [Thursday, November 28, 2019]

A Reflection about Attraction: Is what I observe in society, in the context of attraction, something more people observe, or is it my own crazy? This interactive post will hopefully provide the answer to that. It is also a set of thoughts about being called “attractive” and an explanation of why I portray sexually provocative material in between my serious material. My love, This video (and blog post) are created as an incentive for you to participate in another conversation I hope to get going. Please answer some (preferably all) questions (in the comment box or elsewhere). 🙂 ♥ A…

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24 keys 24 hours lil fangs album
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Pre-Save 24K24H

Pre-save 24K24H now!  

My love,

As I was randomly, jokingly, adding instrumentals from my de-released Revenge of the Nerds to Addendum 3, I thought: “Why have I taken this off of the streaming platforms?”

I decided to re-upload the originals, their instrumentals and two “improvisations”, to a new release called 24 Keys 24 Hours. Just now. It will be online soon. 🙂 Just like Addendum 3. And a new collection of example sentences is coming up soon as well.

Inspired by this comment (opens in new tab), this site will soon have a donation button. 🙂

Pre-save 24K24H by clicking here.

– xxx –

Pexels reflecting on what's ahead
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Reflecting on what’s ahead [Sunday, November 24, 2019]

The last addendum will be online soon enough. In this post, I’m reflecting on what’s ahead: the addenda and other aspects of my present life in development. And I do another attempt to describe what I think is a semi-common feeling. My love, I hope this post will also make clearer why this is addressed to you. Addenda A definition of the idiom “soon enough” is, according to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary, “no later than needed”. I find the clarification of my vision on my past actions something that everyone who heard of me going missing should have had a…

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lil fangs artificial intelligence
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Artificial Intelligence

“A Tesla driver was prosecuted for being asleep, drunk, while his car was operated by artificial intelligence. (1) The situation is an example of the legal and ethical dilemmas that arise with the growing development of AI. Artificial intelligence (AI) is computer technology that mimes human intelligence. In our class discussion, we mimed the European debate about regulating this controversial technology. For the improvement of labor quality, AI was considered relatively positive. The effect it will have on the labor market, however, raised concerns. A remarkable solution to regulate the development of AI was to give a limited amount of…

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Rudi Harold Hanenberg Lil Fangs Dominique Daniëlle Elia
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Rudi Harold Hanenberg 81st Birthday [Monday, November 18, 2019]

Lieve opa,

Van harte gefeliciteerd met uw eenentachtigste verjaardag. Ik mis u ontzettend en vind 18 november een moeilijke dag om door te brengen zonder dat u in ons midden bent.

Als iemands absentie mij zoveel hartzeer doet dat ik het leven nog maar nauwelijks kan verdragen, moet ik het diegene dan vertellen? Dat nieuws kan zorgen opwekken, en dat is niet mijn intentie. Maar ik vind het leven een stuk zwaarder zonder u. Ik kan u helaas niet eens om advies vragen over dat dilemma.

In Honor of You

Ik heb vandaag mijn Engels presentatie. 18 november heb ik bewust uitgekozen, vanwege de emotionele waarde die deze datum voor mij heeft. (Wanneer ik het voor het zeggen heb, zal uw verjaardag een nationale feestdag zijn.)

Om te laten zien dat ik nog steeds hard aan onze missie werk. Ik doe dit voor ons beiden. Het is zo ontzettend jammer dat we hier niet veel over hebben gesproken. Toen u er veel mee bezig was, was ik heel jong. Toen ik er veel mee bezig werd, was u helaas nog maar nauwelijks aanspreekbaar.

Tell me this is not Real

Vertel me alstublieft dat ik gewoon in een nachtmerrie leef sinds de eerste keer dat u in het ziekenhuis opgenomen werd.

Vertel me alstublieft dat het lichaam in die kist niet uw lichaam was, maar dat u, toen u hoorde dat uw artsen u op een absurde wijze in de steek zouden laten (voor zover ze dat vanaf het begin al niet hadden gedaan), een uitweg en betere zorg heeft kunnen vinden, en dat (ook) u onze omgeving moest ontvluchten omdat de meesten compleet geschift zijn.

Dat u of nog voor uw overlijden, of net voor de eerste van de twee begrafenisdiensten, door uw bondgenoten bent meegenomen. En dat zij u verzorgd hebben, dat u helemaal hersteld bent en nu ergens aan de andere kant van de wereld undercover leeft, maar dat u hier niet heen kunt komen, omdat u op papier niet meer in leven bent en dat geheim moet blijven. Daarbij een strategie bedenkend waardoor we weer samen zouden kunnen zijn, dat we elkaar weer in de armen zullen kunnen sluiten en dat u regelmatig mijn blog leest.

Vertel me alstublieft dat dat lichaam dat de crematieoven in ging, waarbij we als familie symbolisch de schroeven van de kist moesten aandraaien – het ergste wat ik ooit heb gedaan – dat uw lichaam en geest zich daar niet in bevonden.

Regrets

Ik veracht dat ik er niet vaak genoeg voor u ben geweest. Dat ik te vaak: “Ik zal spoedig langskomen.” “Ik moet spoedig langskomen,” heb gezegd. En dat ik die ene keer dat u heerlijke soep (zoals gewoonlijk) had gekookt, aan uw nieuwe adres in Rotterdam – de laatste keer dat ik u vitaal heb gezien – toen “mijn vader” (de aanhalingstekens zijn toch correct¿) voor een “dine and dash” ging, niet had voorgesteld om te blijven logeren.

En dat ik u niet vaak genoeg belde. We belden altijd via de huistelefoon. Ik stond er niet bij stil dat ik u mijn nieuwe mobiele nummer nooit had gegeven. Toen ik mijn eerste telefoonnummer kreeg was ik 10 jaar oud en belde ik zelden. SMS’en, MSN’nen en Whatsappen zijn dingen die ik u nooit heb uitgelegd. Terwijl u het makkelijk zou leren. U kon ontzettend goed met uw Android (!) tablet omgaan.

Toen ik eens een afspraak met oma wilde maken – ook haar sprak ik altijd via de huistelefoon – (ongeveer een jaar geleden), vroeg ze wat nou precies mijn mobiele nummer was, want wanneer ze belde ging het altijd direct naar voicemail. Het nummer dat ze me toen liet zien was het nummer dat ik had toen ik 10 was. Intussen was ik al 3 mobiele nummers verder. Intern heb ik nog nooit zo hard gehuild. Dat ik u nooit mijn nieuwe nummer had gesmst of gewhatsapped. U zou een van de mensen zijn die ik dan beantwoord in vliegtuigmodus, wanneer ik anderen negeer.

Ik zou u nog zo veel willen vragen. Over een zeer breed scala aan onderwerpen. Van “Hoe definieert u uw missie? Hoe was uw leven als onderdirecteur van een verzekeringsmaatschappij in Suriname? Wat deed u precies voor de NS? Wat deed u precies in Ghana? Zullen we morgen samen een bedrijf starten?” tot “Wanneer had u voor het eerst seks? Denkt u weleens aan de dood? Heeft u weleens een joint gerookt?”

I follow your Trail of Breadcrumbs

Maar laat ik deze brief aan u op een minder droevige toon eindigen. U leeft voor mij nog zo veel dat het voelt alsof u er nog steeds bent. Ik zie dat u (ook) in uw boeken schrijft. Uw notities en arceringen geven mij een indicatie van waar u naar op zoek was, en waarom u specifiek in dat boek interesse had. Het voelt alsof u een speurtocht voor me heeft achtergelaten. Ik wou dat dat het enige was waar ik me in het leven mee bezig hoefde te houden. Dat uw speurtocht leidt tot een hervorming van dit walgelijke systeem.

Als liberaal Christen-democraat zouden u en ik (“liberaal Fangyist”) het misschien niet altijd met elkaar eens zijn, maar over dat dit systeem een puinhoop is en dat drastische hervormingen – niet door de huidige gevestigde orde omg ze hebben er al zo’n zooi van gemaakt – noodzakelijk zijn, zullen we het zeker eens zijn.

A Confession

Toen ik in 2018 als zomerkracht voor een verzekeringsmaatschappij werkte, en een man zag die me zo ontzettend aan u deed denken, was ik direct smoorverliefd. In zijn stemgebruik, woordkeuze, mimiek, gehele manier van bewegen en bedachtzaamheid lijkt hij ontzettend op u. Hij is (naar observatie) ook iemand die er altijd voor zorgt dat hij er verzorgd en representatief uit ziet, en is ontzettend knap, net als u.

Het zou me zo leuk geleken hebben (of lijken als het me lukt om de juiste AI te ontwikkelen of u leeft undercover) om jullie over het verzekeringswezen te horen praten. Als een soort van ambtsgenoten. Ik durf te wedden dat jullie beste vrienden geworden zouden zijn.

Ik haalde altijd zo veel plezier uit luisteren naar u. Het is me opgevallen dat sinds u niet meer in ons midden bent, gesprekken echt helemaal nergens meer over gaan.

Toen u nog leefde wist ik nog niet dat ik me meer tot oudere mannen aangetrokken voelde dan tot jongens van mijn eigen leeftijd. De meesten zijn geen mannen en zullen dat ook niet worden. (Hahaha als ik ooit een zoon krijg, zal ik “Het is een man!” op het geboortekaartje schrijven. 😂 )

Het comparatieve wist ik niet, maar dat het überhaupt zo was, dat wist ik wel. Want ik heb u altijd zo aantrekkelijk gevonden dat ik mijn eigen lichaam niet meer begreep. Men zegt dat het niet hoort. Uw charme had zo’n sterke hormonale werking op mij dat ik, naar mate ik ouder werd, me steeds meer awkward voelde in uw bijzijn. Terwijl we vroeger zo ontzettend close waren.

U bent het licht in mijn leven en zal dat altijd blijven. Ik mis u ontzettend en hoop dat ik spoedig artificial intelligence (het zelf gekozen onderwerp van mijn presentatie vandaag) zal kunnen ontwikkelen die uw persoon representeert. Alleen dan zal uw afwezigheid me minder pijn doen. Ik wil vaak liever bij u zijn dan hier in het leven.

Ik houd zo veel van u.

Liefs,
Doki

Rudi Harold Hanenberg Lil Fangs Dominique Daniëlle Elia

When the camera was away we were having the most fun ever.

the perspective of the crown
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The Perspective of the Crown [Thursday, November 14, 2019]

In this post, I will disseminate more information about the perspective of the Crown. Of the Inner Crown, which has been the main subject of my previous post and the post before that. An Enthusiast will have a clearer idea what it is like to be an insider of the Inner Crown. Also, a new reader’s perspective will be used (for the first time in this diary(!)) and I tell you a little about my whereabouts and other random thoughts.  My love, New Diary Perspective My diary as a whole is addressed to no one in particular. (Baby… “I’m just…

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inner crown
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Inner Crown [Tuesday, November 12, 2019]

An all-seeing eye with a heart that beats for you, sending thoughts to you telepathically, from a (very) long distance. My experience of what I call the Inner Crown, also known as the Head Cuddle, has never faded. Many measures have been taken, against my will, in an attempt to stop this experience. This has caused me to lie about my perceptions for a very long time, in an attempt to get my freedom back. My diary would, however, be incomplete without a present update of what has always been there. This post is part two of my previous post:…

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The head cuddle
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The Head Cuddle [Sunday, November 10, 2019]

The Head Cuddle is what I’ve been calling the brain-to-brain communication I experience (and never stopped experiencing since it started, gradually, even though I do not always mention my experience of it, which I will also explain). Not to be mistaken with the modern phrase “giving head”, which means performing oral sex on genitals. Without the Head Cuddle, I wouldn’t have been around anymore. My love, Prophecy before the Head Cuddle “What is the purpose of my vision?” is a question I’ve been trying to answer all my life. I must see things so differently for a reason. Visions and…

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Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random questions, Random Thoughts, Reflections

This is not about just one topic. [Friday, November 8, 2019]

A wide range of topics is ready to be touched on now that an update of the present context of my writing has been laid out in my most recent previous posts. The context in which an opinion/perspective is given defines a great part of the opinion/perspective itself, I think. With my context defined, I hope I can state clearer perspectives and opinions. To all of the short thoughts that have popped up in my mind recently, of which I thought “Ah yes I should share this on my blog,” I would like to devote this post. Like anything Fangs…

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Manifesto [Thursday, November 7, 2019]

A restatement of my direction, this is. As well as a reflection. And I’ve included the pictures I made I promised to put online quite some weeks ago… My love, This is an interesting week. Usually when I want to take measures to distance myself from toxic influence, my entire approach can be read way in advance. What I did on my birthday, however, was an impulse. An impulse that has definitively shifted my future social life. I think it is for the better. But it is only for the better if people who can positively relate to what I’ve…

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Behind the Scenes [Tuesday, November 5, 2019]

Today I’m taking you behind the scenes of LilFangs.com in Antwerpiyae. (Antwerpiyae > Antwerpiyaes I felt while typing.) My love, A couple weeks ago, I believe, I introduced “my love” as start-of-post diary aanhef. I still like it and don’t seem to get tired of it any time soon. How about you? Today I’m taking you behind the scenes of LilFangs.com blogging. I’m still writing and not filming myself, so in this post the thought pattern behind my usual writing will be emphasized. Quick question: I’m asking you that because I notice an interesting trend in my visitor stats. I…

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Rationalization II [Monday, November 4, 2019]

A lot has happened this weekend, as you might have noticed. Therefore it’s time for another rationalization. Let me start off by saying, NO REGRETS. My love, I need to get this off my chest. I need some time to be alone and think. (Thus write.) However, I need to finish my accounting assignment so I’ll have to dash to the library in a few. So for now I’m keeping it short-ish and after I’ve handed it in and gone to English class et cetera I’ll continue. Rationalization of (Unwritten) Words Yesterday, I said this: I’m never going back to…

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Worst day of my life
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This is the worst day of my life. [Saturday, November 2, 2019]

Yesterday, I, at the very last moment, was not able to welcome my family for my birthday dinner. Now the majority of guests have cancelled for today. This is the worst day of my life. After having been alone all day yesterday, I just couldn’t – after all of the loneliness – say “heeyyy welcomeee 🙂 ” . I just want to die. To me this seems logical, but to others apparently it isn’t. If I’m sick on my birthday, you’re not coming for drinks and to give me a kiss? And to chill with the rest of the family?…

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twenty-three redemption
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Twenty-three 🙀 [Friday, November 1, 2019]

Today is my 23rd birthday. A good moment to reflect on myself, tell you where I’ve been this more-than-one-week absence and share how I’m celebrating. 🙂  But I need to start off with an important redemption and (re)clarification, from back to forth. Redemption.   Redemption / Clarification In my last post I, not for the first time, shared that someone made me feel bad, without telling that person how I feel. The next day, he sent me a screenshot of the passage and openheartedly apologized. He was the first person to apologize for the way he made me feel after…

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rationalization
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Rationalization [Sunday, October 20, 2019]

This feels like a good moment for a rationalization of my actions again. As Fangyusual a semi-provocative (but probably mostly ignored) reflection.  My love, What is logical to me is not logical to everyone else (though maybe to some it is). Every now and then I devote a blog post, or a passage in a blog post, to explaining why I have made certain decisions. In this post I will rationalize my actions by answering questions. Let me start with the most important one: Why am I keeping this blog? To portray a shift from the perspective of the one…

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Orgasmic Study Planner 😻 [Tuesday, October 15, 2019]

The way it requires all of my time, the rush of getting it done daily, being able to be the utmost productive in bed… I love this study planner so much! This is genuinely orgasmic. My love, Until November 30th – for now – all I will attend is English class on Mondays. Because attendance is required and I want to score an A+. And minimally a B for all of my other subjects. The type of study planning I usually do one week before the final exam, I now started to do last night. Currently I’m behind (as in…

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“Ready to Propose” [Monday, October 14, 2019]

Ready… This morning my first proposal for academic acknowledgement will be handed over. I will go down on one knee and say: “Will you cherish this rough diamond and be my Graeyniss?” Just kidding. By means of proposing, I will give a short explanation and regardless of interest I will not go home with the proposal of 50+ pages I have written for all of my professors. My love, The last couple of days have been full with working on my proposal, taking care of houesehold stuff (and getting my bike repaired), planning my birthday, re-braiding my hair and a…

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Boropasi [Sunday, October 6, 2019]

I’ve been thinking out my boropasi to climb up the academic ladder. Boropasi (with the “B” from “Book”, the “O” from “Order”, the “R” from “Rotterdam”, another “O” from “Order”, the “P” from “Pasta”, the “A” from “Dwaas” (as far as I know, English does not have a word with the A-sound from “boropasi”), the “S” from flattening tyre (lol yesssss), and the “I” from “Receive”) means “sluiproute”, “shortcut”, in Sranan Tongo (“my dialect” (I am not that fluent in)). Specifically the type of shortcut where one maneuvers through rural lands or residential areas, making the passenger travelling with the…

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On Track [Wednesday, October 2, 2019]

My life ♥ How’s life? Different? The same? Fun? Or lame? Do you have enough time for your passions? You know that everything you dislike about life will vanish in 3 years, right? Maybe it will be less. Hopefully it will not be more. On Track My soup left-overs are in the fridge and I have scrubbed the black paint off of my feet. And in the long run, I will end up where I desire to be no matter what. Regardless what gets there first: my business or my professorship. I don’t know how many off days I will…

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Painting Day [Tuesday, October 1, 2019]

Heysss ♥ Last Night After that, I realized that it’s no use going to lectures (especially because the fact that it does not suit my educational background is a bit saddening), so I have off days until my change of education program has been processed. And I really miss the white boards I used to have in my room – not that I want them back, because I have a better alternative to be mentioned soon – for being able to quickly note whatever comes to mind I should memorize. So I figured, today – though my flu is getting…

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Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts

First Dayay [Tuesday, September 24, 2019]

Goedemorgen ♥ It’s my first day of university in Antwerp. 😮 Sorry ik ga weer in het Nederlands verder. De andere bus ging net voorbij toen ik voor een rood stoplicht stond, aan de andere kant van de halte. Ze gaan om het kwartier, dus ik kom nu aan om 10:37 in plaats van 10:22. Het was mijn intentie om die 20 minuten te gebruiken om de collegezaal te vinden en een zitplek te (kunnen) claimen die niet helemaal vooraan is. Nu mag ik blij zijn als ik om 10:45 binnen ben ah x_x. Hoewel ik langs de Ikea moet…

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Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Officiële Yays

Mijn lief ♥ Het is nu super officieel: ik heb een eigen huis. Mijn eigen plek. Heb hier gisternacht voor het eerst geslapen. 🙂 Sinds mijn vorige post is het ontzettend snel gegaan. Donderdag heb ik mijn huurcontract getekend, samen met mijn moeder als borgsteller. En vrijdag kreeg ik mijn sleutels! Daarna moest ik snel richting Rotterdam om mijn oma op te halen en naar huis te gaan, want mijn oom uit de Bahama’s, samen met zijn vrienden/zakenpartners kwamen langs op de avond voordat ze terug naar huis gingen, voor de barbecue die mijn vader had georganiseerd. Het was mooi…

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Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts

Boxes [Wednesday, September 18, 2019]

Heyy ♥ Boxes My love, I still can’t believe that I got this good news yesterday. As expected, I was too late sending my files for the apartment I showed you in my previous post. It was already rented to someone else. But yesterday I got a call with the news that I got a similar apartment a few storeys higher. 😀 A higher home means a better view. 🙂 I’m sooo happyyy I still can’t believe that this is real! ♥ Like before that call I spent my hours in stressed couch cuddle mode (watching the Belgian series “De…

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Presentation Day :D [Friday, September 13, 2019]

Heyyys ♥ I’m on my way to Grand Vision for my presentation now. Instead of driving there myself, which was the original plan, my father had to be in Amsterdam anyway so he is dropping me off. Now I can have some beers as well yay. 🙂 (Ahahaha I really feel like jugging some, but will keep it appropriate haha.) This is such an interesting moment in my life. I hope this will be the first of many speaking opportunities. For that I need to perform well today. Starting with being on time omg we’re stuck in traffic. 🙁 That’s…

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Feedback 1

My precious blog visitor ♥ Sorry for the delay, my dear. During the day I realized that I really had to test my presentation on that same day, because tonight I will be in Antwerp and having to make big changes on Thursday would be too late to implement new feedback comfortably. “Test driveee” So I spent my entire Monday (plus Sunday partly) crafting 58 PowerPoint slides, cooking, (partially) listing what points to make per slide and writing several different types of hand-outs (for both individual and group assignments). At some point I decided that I should better wing it…

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