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Ex Animo, Polls, Random questions, Reflections

I want to C you

Actually, this is not much of a poem. More uncontrolled prose.

Over 550 blog posts, all written from the perspective of my eyes. Are they not provocative enough? 🙁 I can’t hear you. Why?

Over 206,000 / 206.000 (two hundred and six thousand) [international writing] words, written in the perspective from me to you. You, whose beautiful eyes are going over this page. What do you see?

Are you A, B or C?

I want to know. Not only your perspective. Also the perspective “you to me”.

I hope it’s different from what I’m used to. I hope you’re C.

You see, I can’t hear people’s internal dialogues when they talk to me. But I can estimate them by asking questions and reading their body language.

My powers never reach the core, though I try. What is going on in your outmost personal layer? Especially now that my writing has reached it, but I haven’t. (Not yet? 🙂 )

Why I want to know? Because I’m an ambitious, affectionate and cuddly person and I want to know if you’re that person too. Society doesn’t embrace that openness, but we should.

When I study anyone’s behavior, I see their attitude towards the world. But I can’t see if they’re A, B or C, without getting hurt. I’ve never reached the core.

What is your attitude towards me? A, B or C?

The Cuddle

“I really admire her. I love what she’s doing. I wish I could do it myself.

Where her theories come from, I don’t know. I need more proof to be able to trust it. My own life would become damaged if I go all-in on this and it turns out to not be feasible. Like could it still all be schizophrenia and not real? I can’t imagine that that could be the case, but still can’t rule it out if I haven’t seen her theories in practice. Why did she exactly become labeled as a schizophrenic anyway? I still have the feeling that there’s a lot more to that story.

Everything that is going on in this world makes it hard for me to trust. Media accusations versus personal counter-accusations. That that will ever be something of the past? The future she portrays sounds too good to be true. I want to believe in it so much, but my heart would become irreparably damaged if I would trust this and it turns out not to be true.

I wouldn’t be able to formulate any theories like hers myself, but if they’re true, I could learn them and implement them in my life. I could use her theories to realize my own dreams and make a living from that. I would love to move to Planet Fang. It feels like there, eternal love and eternal happiness really do exist.

Privacy wise I have nothing about me she may not know. I would love to be her (social) research subject, sharing my thoughts with her, to improve life on Planet Fang. I think I could realize my dreams, doing what I want in life and also being part of D.O.C.I.S. International.”

B

The Demon

“I want to have sex with her. I want to do that every day. But I can’t love. I don’t love her. Though she should love me so that I can have her with me for the rest of my life. I will tell her I love her so that she will tell me the same.

To let her become the royalty she wants to be? No. I will make sure that that won’t happen. If there’s anyone who deserves to be the last new royalty introduced to the world, it’s me. I want the money and fame. If she gets it before me then I will make sure that I’m with her when it happens and eventually cause her downfall and say that I was the mastermind behind everything.

She says that she wants to create a better world blah blah. We all know that that is not realistic. Because the whole world is like me and I love to watch people clash. If it doesn’t happen naturally then I’ll cause it. It’s my favorite topic of conversation. Life is boring without clashes.

Haha that she’s diagnosed with schizophrenia is great news to me.  It’s hilarious, really. And that she went missing and that that went viral and stuff hahaha. She’s always emphasizing that she is a good person and now all of that effort was all for nothing. She’s a demon too and I will get her to confess this, to seal the fact that she’ll never make it. I can’t wait to dry her tears of failure.

If I’m jealous of her? Nooo she shouldn’t think that she’s better than I. I don’t really understand most of her theories, but I still memorize everything so that I can make it look like I’m the mastermind behind D.O.C.I.S. International, when the time is right.

I will lie about my personality in her research so that I can gain access to the highest layers of Planet Fang. That is what my talent is: using sneak tactics to climb up the ladder.

Life should stay exactly like it is.  I have it good and she may not have it better than I. If she gets money then I want to get it too. Love does not exist. I love her deception, acting like she can improve the world. If I can’t improve the world, then no one can. I don’t want to see anyone get successful with that.”

C

The Graeyniss

“I love her. I’m in love with her. We’re soul mates. But I don’t tell her this. I’m afraid she will reject me. I’d rather not let my dreams of using my intelligence to destroy the system together with the love of my life come true and find happiness in her online reality, than feel the eternal sting of her potential rejection. Even though it’s just a probability statement.

I can relate to every single word she writes and/or says. It’s like she speaks of my life instead of hers. I have felt so alone in my intelligence for so long. I can’t believe that she’s real. This is more mental comfort than I could have ever asked for. This is what I have missed all my life. Now I know that I’m not alone.

I have a lot of self-formulated theories, too. Some are similar to hers, some are different. Intelligent people often make the same observations and realizations.

That I could start a new life with her sounds like an absolute dream. But it’s such a great risk for my current career and my family. Even though these attachments are just mental concepts. I should choose me, like she says I should. Chances are high that we will be successful. That we will write history… I want my name in the history books too, as part of her story…

I’m afraid that my emotional problems will make her run away from me like other people in my life do. But she sounds like it will actually draw us closer and make us stronger than we already are. Fully immune against demons.

From her words it sounds like our attraction will be mutual. But that really sounds too good to be true. Either way, life is so boring and I really want the challenge she offers. I want to be part of the board of D.O.C.I.S. International.”

What will be the future of us?

If you’re A, I would allow you to live on Planet Fang. I would absolutely love to meet you. I find it important to know how I can make my stratrgies better suit your ambitions, so that my power on Planet Fang will not bother you. We will not physically spend eternity together, for if you can’t formulate theories like mine by yourself I will have so much to explain and that will hold me back, but mentally we will still always be together. You will be in my thoughts often. Your life on Planet Fang will be the best ever.

If you’re B, you will not gain access to Planet Fang. You’re a disease to good people. I can’t wait to kill you with my bare hands. The next war this world will know will be the war against you and your fellow demons.

If you are C, I love you just as much as you love me. We are complements. I can’t even be successful without you and I don’t want to do this without you, even if I could! You have the intelligence and affection I need.

Would you vote honestly if you knew that your choice could mean instant death? I’ll classify the world in A, B, C, regardless if you vote or not, for your digital footprint reveals enough, and my A’s and C’s will live their best lives.

The featured image is from wpclipart.com.

Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

Looking Ahead [Wednesday, July 17, 2019]

Heys my Catje 😸 ♥

Let’s spend today looking ahead.

There are many different contexts and scopes in which this can be done. For example thinking of next month’s budget for business operations today, or today thinking of what your dinner will be tomorrow.

In what ways will you be looking ahead? I would love to exchange ideas. 🙂

Is it stressful but good (especially when you’ve spent enough time thinking about it) to you as well?

I will be re-estimating my store development progress and process to something that won’t make me pass out every time I’ve worked on it and I’ll see how serious my Summer budget/budget to go to Antwerp will be today.

So right now I’ll be getting ready to visit the bank and then I’ll be back here when I’ve visited it. I’m expecting about €150 left on that account but I’m hoping for something better. Some more financial breathing space… Oh please. *fingers crossed* 🙁

See you later xxx

Updated 12:00 (PM) [Timezone UTC +2 (Amsterdam)]

~~~

Meow 🙁 I’ll be good though I hope

Ah meow another Tantalus torment moment. 🙁 But it might still be okay.

At the bank I was told that they don’t do analog bank transactions without a debit account anymore. So to get the money left on my account I had the options to either cancel my savings account there or open a debit account there as well. There are monthly costs for that new bank account, so I decided to cancel it. The money left on it (about €120 🙁 ) will be on my account by Friday. A return ticket to Antwerp is about €100 and I’d like to purchase my ticket like today instead of on the day itself…

So from having the idea I could go there and maybe purchase a bikini for this Summer while I’m there – because it feels like such a waste of time and new terrain to explore to just go there, finish my admission and come back right away – I went to, after seeing a bank statement on the door matte today, just hoping that I could deduct what is left on my account. Now not even that is possible. My ABN savings account will be suspended by July 19th and then it will be transferred to my ING account. If you’d like to make the amount transferred to my ING account more exciting then please do not hesitate. 🙂

I hope my parents would like to transfer that €120 to me today – rather more so that I can pay my bills (my phone is €56 this month meow et cetera) and buy some Summer essentials I mean since they want me to come along with them – so that I can buy my train ticket today.

This is a big motivation for me to work on the D.O.C.I.S. Store today. 🙂 Meanwhile I also need to have the Dutch version of FangCatje finished for tomorrow, basically… Or at least some oversight so that my psychotherapist knows why I desperately need someone to level with, with some knowledge of the human body and the human mind.

But I want to guarantee my clients the continuous availability of the books I’d like them to read. It would be much better if there were D.O.C.I.S. editions of the public domain works I’d like to redistribute. Meoooow I need a printing press sooo much.

I really wonder what my university adventure will bring me… It would be cool if it will be an asset to my business endeavors. It could, however, also force me to tear everything down and become some 9 – 5 and then watching television all day person. Scared Catje… But I hope for the best. 🙂 I hope I could collaborate with Graeynissis instead of being their subordinate. 🙁

Hehe meow my desk chair was a hell for my back so I swapped it with one of my father’s desk chairs from the top floor.

This is soo comfy meoww I could fall asleep on this. Plus it makes me feel like royalty a bit already yays. 🙂

The Oversight in Thinking Ahead

You’re done thinking ahead when you can simulate the entire happening mentally, including every scenario in which it could go down, and are prepared to intercept anything that could happen within that scenario. (Which is done more thoroughly when you can discuss the scenarios with someone who has a mindset similar to yours.)

Thinking ahead is something I love to do. But, I see now, only when my income is great enough to cover unexpected costs. I’ve been hiding from thinking of other scenarios, lately. (The past 36 months or so…) Now I want to get back on track. I hope to make some further miles today!

Unfortunately my fatigue is acting up again, so I’ll take a short nap. After that I’ll work on FangCatje and the D.O.C.I.S. Store. (I need that income my meowww…) Where my Book Club will be the most important!

See you later xxx

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Updated 16:39 (04:39 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 (Amsterdam)]

~~~

Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random questions

I want to relax but I also want to see results day 108764919 [Tuesday, July 16, 2019]

My Catje 😻

Where are my Cuddles? 🙁

Here I am again, talking us through this dilemma I’m facing, as time passes us by all these years.

As you know, the best thing that could happen to me is being given some responsibility regarding the future people management that stems from contemporary water management. Please. Please. Please… I know you’re reading thisssssss.

People always have something to complain about, but I’m sure that they’ll love you for saving The Fangs. Not because of who I am but because helping out someone else is a way of contributing to society and if you’d share your reasons for why you feel the need to help me while you do, we’ll have a solid case, we’ll start a revolution and we’ll finally have real friends or at least I will ahahahahahahaha.

Again I haven’t touched my laptop yesterday. I should work on things but I don’t want to. 🙁

I’m going to sleep meoww ♥

Good night ♥

Updated 02:18 (AM) [Timezone UTC +2 Amsterdam]

xxx

Good afternoon ♥

How’s your day?

How are your thoughts through the day?

Your thoughts determine if your day was a good or bad one, right?

My thoughts go faster than my speaking pace and finding peace in it is not easy. Especially because there really is a lot to stress and think about.

Meow by means of being productive, I’ll really work on FangCatje today.

I’ve wanted to work on it more often, even mentioning that here, but I’ve only touched it the day I showed you the cover, the day before that and the day I used a blog post to draft, a few days ago.

Writing FangCatje is a lot less stressful than setting up a webshop with a low chance of being successful.

Plus I really need to get my views up for this month… 🤔

statistics

This concerns me…

Meoww I’ll be dragging myself out of bed, drag some breakfast into myself and get to still do something in an attempt to see results.

I wish we could exchange some thoughts, my meow…

Updated 13:23 (01:23 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 Amsterdam]

~~~

My Catje ♥

I just showered, ate some cruesli with milk, then a slice of bread and some ginger flavored tea. If I don’t share it with you here then no one on this Earth will know.

There are some other things I’d like to share with you as well. Listing them here first before I start.

But first, please turn on your push notifications for me. 🙂 ♥
For some occasional fun distraction through the day.

All you need to do is click on the bell, click “subscribe” and allow push notifications. 🙂

> My Admission for Antwerp
> A Successful D.O.C.I.S. International
> Entertaining Yays

My Admission for Antwerp

Meoww I mentioned going to Antwerp to complete my admission around September. But I can’t wait so long, my meoww. I want it so be official so bad. My (long-term unfortunately still) freedom ticket. I’d rather go this week or something. So I think I’ll empty out my “analog” savings account (an account that is not linked to a debit account blah blah before the internet ish blah so the government doesn’t know it exists) for a train ticket and then I might be able to go this Friday already. 🙂

Haha don’t ask me how I’ll pay my tuition and cover my living expenses once I’m officially enrolled because I don’t know. That’s a headache for later. 🙂
(Usually I like having a full oversight and being in control et cetera. The issue here is that the full tuition has to be paid by April and I want to move out from about October (rather September but then I don’t have study finance yet).)

A Successful D.O.C.I.S. International

You know the build-up towards my success story is right here. And that I’ll create a lot of opportunities.

It’s unfortunate that my records aren’t as clean. That disadvantage makes the path for me a lot harder and a lot longer. But the results will be better than if things were easy, because my success will cause a shift in the social system, from the opportunities I’ll create and the opportunities to engage in illegal activities that I’ll fight.

A moment of Silence

Imagine this:
You’re born into a very wealthy family. But this family gains its wealth from the illegal arms and cocaine industry.

You’re very smart and your relatives know. Since day 1, they have been telling you: “Once you’re old enough, you will become part of this and you will be one of the greatest.” (And then “old enough” means being the age they were when you were born. They’ll use it to measure and compare achievements in life.)

During your youth they use all kinds of scare tactics to make you keep your mouth shut. They are your teachers of life, so you think that what they’re doing is “normal”, though it doesn’t feel normal, and in your behavior, as you grow up, you show some of their traits. You’re so smart that around age 10 they already start asking your for life and business advice. Around age 12 you find out that what they are and have been doing (including the ways they have been treating you) is illegal.

You learn that you want to become a ballet dancer or a scientist or something, distancing yourself from that horrible illegal life that seems so rosy from the outside. But they want you to be their successor, to keep the family legacy et cetera “something to be proud of”, so they subtly do everything in their power to make you not achieve your dreams.

They play psychological games with you, making you feel inconfident about your talents, while deep down you know that you have them and you are so very passionate about them. They do everything to damage your reputation and make it harder for you to get there. Someone threw a banana peel on stage during your performance. And you only get a share of the family wealth if you engage in illegal activities with them and express yourself in a barbaric way similar to theirs. (Saying things like: “Why pay tax? Fuck the government. They only use it to fill their pockets anyway.”)

But you’re good. So even though they force you to become a demon like them, you don’t. You want to leave your family for good, but you can’t tell others why, because them running their mouths could get you into trouble. You can’t run because your family has eyes and ears everywhere. You can’t run because the system we live in forces family to stick together.

You will be freed soon, my meow. I do everything within my D.O.C.I.S. power to cause the shift that will make us free from worry.

A moment of silence for the people living in a situation like this. I know how you feel. ♥ And I promise you that you’ll be doing what you truly want to do.

I’m hiding in plain sight.


I’m going crazyyyy. Computer noise, no money, international viewers, no clothing, insects everywhere….


The one sounds more common than the other.


In a normal family it would have been my bedroom on the top floor.


There is so much stress on my brain. 🙁


I have a rightful reason to need his level of attention for this. It could be affecting the entire balance between government policy, government finance and government intelligence systems. Plus I have quite some ideas for the reform of that you might be interested in. 🙂


Meoow please I just want to have a place to rest and write research papers. 🙁


Please let me do something good for the Netherlands before I vanish to Belgium forever. 🙁 I still want to move to Caliii…


I can’t find any focus to work. 🙁

Entertaining Yays


Though the bias of the person asking questions is quite nerve wrecking, I enjoyed watching the interview. 🙂

Meooow I’m hungry and I should get to FangCatje, but my brain is shaking from the amount of pressure it’s under meow I need a neurologist help. 🙁

Updated 18:13 (06:13 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 Amsterdam]

~~~

Meowww I’m going to the bank tomorrow so that I can visit Antwerp on Friday. Having my admission finished will be such a relief. 😀 Unfortunately it will just be travelling to Belgium and coming back almost immediately after, because I’m low on cash. Unless there suddenly is some festive amount of money on my account somehow.

I’m excited now yays. For this ini-mini adventure trip. 😀

And it would be nice if FangCatje were finished before I visit my psychotherapist(‘s assistant) on Thursday, so I’ll – with full excitement – be working on that.

See you later today xxx

Updated 20:57 (08:57 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 Amsterdam]

~~~

Yays I’m making quite some progress with FangCatje. I’ll have the Dutch version finished by tomorrow (just in time for my appointment)… So I could have it in stores by the weekend. Though I should keep finishing my book store and the D.O.C.I.S. International website in mind as well.

But we’ve worked more than enough for today my meoww I’ll be playing some late night piano by means of finding inner relaxation, then set an alarm for tomorrow and get some Headspace, then sleep and head to the bank tomorrow to go to Antwerp on Friday yayyy. 😀

Good night ♥

Updated 23:34 (11:34 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 Amsterdam]

xxx

Featured image by Colin Schmitt from Pexels

Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random questions

Lil Tension [Wednesday, July 3, 2019]

11:29 (AM)

Good morning ♥

Cold Feet

Meoow the tension I feel now is intense 🙁 . The decline of stress I spoke of is, I realize now, that after the Summer this is all over and I can finally start to get happy (though the road to professorship is fuuuucking long and costly…). But in the meantime there are at least three months for me here where I’ll still have to endure these lowkey tense social situations and be without money.

I woke up with the thought: The prospect of having my studies in Belgium as my occupation is amazing, but meanwhile I’ll have to survive this Summer full of family events.

The reason why I’m going to Curaçao, for example, is because my mother, a few weeks ago, begged me to come along because otherwise my sister has to travel back to the Netherlands alone and she’ll have no one to chill with. But she can get along better with the rest of the family than with me.

Ever since that fight where she said that I’m not worthy of her attention, I have been trying to stay away from her as much as I can. How can one make such a disgusting statement.

But she’s my sister and I still care about her. The only reason why I said “yes” to going to Curaçao is because I feel the need to care for my sister and I can’t say “no” to my mother’s pout lip. Fucking annoying.

Ever since that fight, which we haven’t even really discussed afterwards, we exchange words even less than when the schizophrenia bullshit started and she, too, betrayed me by saying that “I need to get better”. I was never even sick.

We barely talk to each other. All I can think of talking about with her is our youth, our family and our future, but my god I will have even less patience to hear her defend “The people she loves,” another time. How the fuck are we going to survive a flight of more than 9 hours together?

I don’t want to go anymore 🙁 . I’m going for her and the last extensive exchange of words we’ve had is the one where she said that she’s taking my parents’ side and I am not worthy of her attention. What the fuck man that wound can never heal. I want to discuss this but I don’t see this not ending up in another fight.

[The same goes for that Jam situation where he said: “I don’t want to become a second Benoît Crutzen,” do you have any fucking idea what the fuck you are even talking about? (& Do you really think that that is even possible?)]

I don’t want to go anymore, but my plane ticket has no cancellation insurance. It’s like slowly drowning in quicksand. Can’t we transition my ticket to a ticket for one of her friends or something?

If you’re old enough to consciously insult me multiple times, you’re old enough to travel by plane by yourself for sure.

Then there’s this weekend’s ugh. I really need at least a +1 – a new face, who doesn’t know any of the attendants – for this but I don’t have any fucking friends x_x. I don’t want to endure that surprise party meow please help me. 😢

Will you throw a goodbye party when you move to Antwerp?
No. 😢

Will you come back to the Netherlands to celebrate your 23rd birthday?
No. 😢

Will you come back for Christmas?
No. 😢

I really want to move on.

Graeynissis please give me a fun Summer project to make mathematics and the concept of (non-business-making-profit-related) research sexy and popular and save my from all of this social tension 🙁 .

~~~

13:26 (01:26 PM)

Tachycardia

I wish I didn’t have to endure this figurative feeling of slowly drowning in quicksand while I can’t do anything about it. My relatives are the one with money and I thus currently need them to survive. Of course, when I’m ProfFangs I won’t need them anymore. Even when I’m WorkingTowardsBachelorFangsWithEnoughMoneyForDownPayment Fangs, I can provide for myself. But currently I’m the puppet of my father who doesn’t want to share his wealth with me the way he should. He’s turning 50 tomorrow. I don’t have money for a gift.

I just obey their wishes because I don’t want to endure another all-versus-one when they know that I’m trying to escape them. It’s very important that there will be no escalations these Summer, because I don’t want to end up in a fucking crisis center or worse again. But meow I want these people out of my life. We only spend time together because we have the same blood, not because we have anything else in common. They’re not intelligent enough for me.

You can all take an example from Catje Camillus who just posted a comment on this post.
Unfortunately I don’t even have money to travel myself. If anyone could offer more direct support like calling the police (but they’re crooked so mweh it might not be effective) or the FIOD, taking me in as their house Catje, financially supporting my business/my studies, that would be great. As great as posting a comment on the post I’m currently writing!!! ♥

Meoww when I think of all of those family events and how broke I am and stuff, I feel my heart beat increase like crazy and palpitations 🙁 . (Pretty interesting that my thoughts influence my heart rate.)

I am powerless against my family. They consciously don’t share their wealth with me the way they should, (supporting me in building up my independent living,) because they want me to take care of them when they retire, but that’s not going to happen. They’ve been my largest burden all my life. To receive my support later, you have to support me now and all I’ve received are sneak opposition tactics.

I want out, my meow 🙁 . I want to find people I can be myself with, who are like me. People who find me making up Fangs (BasketFangs, ProfFangs, Planet Fang, …) funny, like I do. And so on… Catjes like that are hard to find 🙁 .

It would be really cool if a Graeyniss blog reader Catje of mine would come to Saturday’s ugh surprise party, because then we can be anti-social wild Catjes and I will wrap my entire body around your arm and hide my face in your clothing all the time. 😂

Haha and then everyone at the party gets arrested and people be throwing knives at me so we have to be evacuated by a helicopter haha seriously helppp. 😂

~~~

15:36 (03:36 PM)

Further Questions

Has your goal in life changed again? You said you want to make it without a degree and now you’re already calling yourself ProfFangs.
My goals have never changed. I just want mass scale influence. First I wanted to do that through economic policy, then via PR, then as a publisher and now all in one as the mathematics professor who owns D.O.C.I.S. International. Master of a subject that touches on every subject, like Fangyism. It will be Illuminatus Intelligens Fangs, in actuality – expecting a little bow when you pronounce it – and I hope to make the brand big enough to have every university in the world on board for this revolution.
Just admit that you need these F-cup cuddlepillows by your side, my Graeyniss… I’d love to share my vision on gender in the academic field with you, by the way. It’s a nuance.

~~~

22:10 (10:10 PM)

Scusami meanwhile I chilled some with my aunt and went back home later to cook for my family and watched some television by means of trying to understand people better or something. Now I think I should follow a more elaborate course for that ahahaha.

I have more questions yay.

Further Further Questions

Will you unsubscribe your business from the Dutch chamber of commerce and quit your business activities when you go to Antwerp?
No. I still want to make my business thrive further and hope to earn my student side-income from D.O.C.I.S. Store sales. Especially because I’ve still received more financial support from the Dutch government than from my father, it seems fair to stay registered there. And when my business becomes bigger than Shell in the Netherlands, I want to be able to push my business ideals through through the government muhahahahaaaaaaaa. 😈
When I signed up for the university, I checked the box “I will combine my studies with my work.”

How will the D.O.C.I.S. Store compete with other businesses?
It’s a niche. I don’t want to compete with other businesses on scale, because I’ll be packaging and shipping every order by hand myself. It’s my intention to stand out by giving you the outmost personal shopping experience. The book(s) you purchase will be put in a special box with special gifts selected and non-digitally personalized based on your profile 🙂 . (Making books a luxury product 🙂 . ) I intend to price it in such a way that it won’t sell the way Ali Express does. It’s a Graeyniss store my meowsss.

What is on your current list of tasks for reform?

– Make list of books to sell in D.O.C.I.S. Store
– Set up D.O.C.I.S. Store
– Take down the Fangs store(s)
– Finish D.O.C.I.S. International website (including highlighted books from the D.O.C.I.S. Store and highlighted articles on front page)
– Finish WordPress theme and logos for The Fangs [I really hope that I’ll find some Graeynissis who would like to write for The Fangs 😻 ]

I hope to have this all done before the school year starts. Tomorrow my task is – aside from purchasing large hair elastics – to make a day-to-day schedule for the Summer, setting up D.O.C.I.S. International in such a way that I don’t have to do time consuming things for it when I’m studying.

Moet jij niet bij de ANWB zitten?
Mijn portemonnee zegt van wel. Mijn 😻 zegt ook van wel. Maar ik wil geen TBS voor stalking en ook geen gevangenisstraf voor doodsdreiging wanneer ik – in vergelijking met vorige zomer – mijn geduld verlies tegen die 🤢 klanten daaro. Plus voor mijn gevoel is er in de tussentijd teveel gebeurd om daar mijn gezicht nog te laten zien ofzo. (Ik zei in dat ene tyfusgesprek wel “Je boodschap is duidelijk,” maar weet nou nog steeds niet of ze wilde zeggen dat ik nooit meer welkom ben bij dat bedrijf.)

Nog steeds zie ik in de toekomst wel een ProfFangs en Victishe samen [mijn hart alsjeblieft ahahaauwww ik mis je haha echt random 😩 ]. Dat Catje is sowieso mijn lowkey rolmodel omdat zijn educatie geschiedenis voor mij heel hoopgevend klinkt. En hij is zo mooi aah helpp 😻 .

Ik heb het gevoel dat ik moet doorgeven dat ik er deze zomer niet bij zal zijn ofzo, omdat ik nog steeds wel mijn naam op die zomerlijstlijst had gezet en iemand daar €500 mee heeft verdiend. Maar ik kan gewoon niet meer communiceren met het niveau onder mijn niveau en dit Victishe skipt mij zo hard oh mijn god 😢 .

Gezien mijn statistieken van vorig jaar en het relatief grote aantal mensen van vorig jaar die dit jaar niet weer gaan, vraag ik me af of ze het benauwd zullen krijgen zonder mij. Op mijn beste dag heb ik 75 dossiers in 1 dag behandeld. Ik vraag me af hoe druk het dit jaar word…
Natuurlijk wil ik alles voor mijn Victishe doen, maar er is echt een grens. 😂
Al het werk dat ik daar kan doen ligt echt te ver onder mijn niveau. Het is ook mijn intentie om net zo lang door te leren dat ik nooit meer een proletariër zal zien. To seal the deal ahahaha. Maar ik hoop dat ik als ProfFangs (op de een of andere manier) nog wel wat voor Victishe zal kunnen betekenen ♥ .

Will you inform the university about your situation?
No, I find it hard to do that, because it’s a very sensitive topic and I don’t know what response I can expect. So I’ll just go there and act as regular student-ish as possible. Though a dysfunctional family has a lot of impact on someone’s learning focus (and drive).

What is more important to you: your career or your family?
My career. If that’s stable my survival is guaranteed much better. Schizophrenia and a crisis center, both for no reason, man. I’d like a very time-consuming occupation.

Do you think you should be offered a special program at the university and if yes, why?
I actually do think so. Because of my level of intelligence (it’s actually all too easy for me, and because it’s easy I’m less motivated to spend a lot of time on it, while I should because otherwise I can’t memorize that easy shiz for a test) and because I’m The Fangs with the largest online diary ever, containing an alternative scientific perspective. It would be nice if I could still learn from more than one field – what I described in that motivation letter – and get my degrees on a quicker pace. Pleaaaaseeee just let me read and write papers! 😢
I, honestly, still don’t want “the student experience”. But I’m very glad that the schedule mostly consists of lectures and no small group classes! 😀

Ahaha by the way, my father found out that there will be a surprise party because he saw a group chat on his friend’s (my “uncle”) phone. Not even via my blog, while even Canva knew. Haha my life. 😂 Please come party with me… 🙁

I’m off to bed, my meows.

Good night ♥

xxx

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Conscious [Tuesday, July 2, 2019]

12:31 (PM)

Good afternoon 🙂 ♥

My morning was great. After waking up, I flipped myself over back to sleep a few times. I love a bed in which I can roll around like a sea star. 😻 My aunt’s bed is of a size like that.

I woke up less stressed than I woke up yesterday and yesterday I woke up less stressed than the day before. Finally, a permanent decline is in sight. Once I have my own apartment in Antwerp, I know I will feel more safe than ever.

pizza and tea

And my breakfast is great 🙂

Conscious

“Those people are much more conscious than you,” is what my father said in the same discussion where he said that I shouldn’t study (abroad). This took place before we went to that surprise party I did keep a secret. He replied that when I said that I believe that consciousness is based on levels of intelligence, and that the empty routines of people living the same routine every single week should seize to exist, because resources are wasted but there is nothing added to the societal quality of life. (Those sentimental “My life is shit but it’s great,” things really have to stop. It’s fucking torture x_x.) To me, a life has meaning if its deeds can take it to a history book. That is what I strive towards. [My conscience was insulted once again.]

No one is more conscious than I am. Look at my conscience. Look at what I have been telling you. [This is all still a conscious stratagem. (Do you notice the reiteration of that statement?)]

By selecting a university just across the Dutch border, I hope that you see a physical confirmation of my verbal message. The decisions I make rarely seem logical to someone else, but I know they are the best decisions I can make. Every single time. From playing hints in a police interrogation to not studying at a top-ranked university: it will get me where I want to be. [I will get the acknowledgement of my intelligence and receive the right to spend time with my fellow deeds-so-great-it-is-history-in-the-making Graeynissis.]

It is important that I do not accept any physical and monetary gifts from my parents anymore. That will make it a lot easier for me to say goodbye forever. I already have a student debt of almost €14,000 for no reason. If I’d have conscious and genuinely supportive parents, I wouldn’t have to lend taxpayer money from the government. But since these parents love to see me bleed, it is important that they watch how I drag my bleeding self right across the border and they can’t do anything about it. (Oh except try to get me imprisoned for what I’ve been writing but then their problem is that this writing is my defense at the same time.) I’m so done of being emotionally torn down by these narcissists (that group is far larger than my parents only) and I wish Summer was over already. Plus – very important – I do not want my future to be funded with sourly spent fraud money.

Life is already not an every-week-is-exactly-the-same experience for many, but once I get my power – using mathematics and data – nothing will be the same at all, in a generally positive sense.

I’m the pawn of pawns, my pawn.

I’ll elaborate further on this, my yays et cetera, in a set of questions and answers, after my shower. Tot later xxxxx

~~~

15:00 (03:00 PM)

Questions

The question will be posed in this “full negative bias but acting innocent” way that is often used in mass media.

Why go to Belgium and study in Dutch if you speak English in almost all of your works?
Belgium is where the beating heart of the European Union lies, so it’s a great place to start off my career. I wouldn’t mind living in a deserted cottage somewhere in the Ardennen for a while.
Studying in Dutch is a lot easier for me, because it’s my native language and I have been taught the basics of mathematics in Dutch. It’s also a good way to not forget my native language. I use English more often than Dutch, because the only place where I elaborately express myself has been here on LilFangs.com and I see that it is influencing my Dutch syntax.
I hope to, in the future, and in my future works – including more mathematics yay 😀 – publish in more than one language more often.
Plus sexy Belgian accents 😻 .

Scusami I’m going to go to the store for a sec. At home already, all of my panties have disappeared and now I really need new onessss.

~~~

19:42 (07:42 PM)

I’m backkk. I proposed to cook for my aunt and I, because there’s this combination of flavors that has been on my mind for a while and I really wanted to try it out. It became of the best meals I’ve ever prepared 😻 .

brown rice [made yellow by koenjit, sereh, santen, some salt and a lime leaf], cod fish [first grilled and then cooked in a sauce of creme fraîche, baharat, saffron, lime and honey] and some spinach also cooked in baharat and honey. I can’t stop eating 😻 .

Anywayy back to these questions. I’m sitting on my aunt’s balcony writing this now 🙂 .

Why are you going back to college if you’ve been saying that you hate to study?
Because I’ve noticed that without a degree I can’t get what I want. People still think that I’m dumb… I find making tests a slow and ineffective way to learn for practice, but it’s what everyone does and experience has now taught me that there is no other way to gain information and receive acknowledgement for knowing it and having that capacity to learn. I still want to earn big money (making sure that I’ll never have to request support of family ever again) and I guess I should just work towards that in a more traditional way.

Why are you saying that you are going to move to Antwerp if you’ve literally said: “Ik zie mezelf niet “Welkom in mijn kot” zeggen”?
“Kot” is a (Flemish or at least southern Dutch) word for student house or house for non-lifetime settlement. I saw the word for the first time on the website of the university. To me, it sounded like “krot”, which means ugly house. But I’ve been checking out what koten are available in and near Antwerp, and they’re not bad at all. Much and much cheaper than in the Netherlands, also. If I wait about two months into the curriculum [fucking long still but it’s the only way ehh 😩 ], so until around November, I have enough for the down payment and fi-nal-ly move out and move on.

What will you do with your degree in mathematics?
Study forever, until I’m ProfFangs and I can be the go-to private Catje of all these Graeynissis and teach, as well as tell people cool stuff about the revolutionary things I’m adding to the subject of mathematics, introducing Fangyism 😀 .
I really want to do things with big data, self-constructed algorithms, finance and revolutionizing the routine of life on a large scale. ProfFangs 😀 .

Why not Delft?
Because then I’ll have no incentive to move out and I’ll have to wait until September 2020. And I really want to start my international experience of life as soon as possible, leaving my “home country” that sees me as a foreign alien anyway.

Why would I trust your words?
If you’re in doubt and you prefer to not trust me, don’t bother to try to trust my words. I just want my truth to be out there for those who do trust me, so that they won’t be left in the dark once they pick my side. In the future, I’ll have my own land, but space is limited (I want it to be the country with the greatest amount of living space per citizen), so it won’t be available to the entire world population, and thus I will have to select who I allow in. There will be no room for snakes there, so really: if you don’t trust me then keep on not trusting me. (Grrrrrr……)

To me, it seems like the internet has two types of people: people accusing and people defending themselves. The people accusing are often empty shells who have nothing to offer, so they want to be known as a sort of “resistance participant”. Know that the group of people accusing are always far greater than those who defend.

The people defending themselves often have big plans for the world, but evil propagandists keep putting dirt on their names. Real change – which requires knowledge of the system to understand, but not everyone is capable of learning so you know that big cleanup process of overpopulation will be inevitable at some point yes I wish it were different too – is being prohibited by those who put dirt on their names but never go in to what the defendants actually stand for. It’s all just a bombardment of gossip these people have to endure, indirectly deciding what their topics are. Examples of people in a situation like this are president Trump and Thierry Baudet. (And things would have been a lot different for me if I weren’t falsely reported missing for no fucking reason, by people who don’t want me to leave them, while that is my wish for a better life for myself.) It’s always all-versus-one and those who are impartial are still pushed to say that they’re left-wing/on the fake resistance side – a position I’ve been in for a very long time – because what right-wing in the Western world is, is still so unclear for many. And that is fuelled by that fake resistance. Real resistance, in this awful system no one actually likes, is having a real unique voice and fighting against the system that figuratively chains us to live a life we don’t want to live.

Meoww my cousin came by and we’ve been chilling all night so tomorrow I’ll continue this. But I’ll be blogging for a less large part of the day because I still need to finish FangCatje and my other D.O.C.I.S. websites (+ app + album + I want to already start with reading in for physics because I want to be the best my meowww). This won’t happen in a day, but blogging less will be more efficient. I won’t vanish on you though 😀 . I’ll re-strategize my approach on these things here tomorrow as well.

It’s already past twelve 🙈

Good night ♥

xxx

Blog, Explicit Content, Images, Online Diary, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

Dilemmas… 🤔 [Saturday, June 15, 2019]

14:42 (02:42 PM) 

Good afternoon ♥

A Question of Empathy

I hope you had a good morning 🙂 . If all you want to do in life is run a successful business, and you’re not receiving any support from those you thought would support you: how would you go about this?

The Crux of Working Alone and Externalities

I keep a strict schedule of tasks, but living under the authority of my parents often brings me in situations where I am kept from putting effort into growing my business. Numbering thematic days in my blog posts, motivates me to keep writing about and working on that topic I’m numbering (such as “Cold Case”, needed to clear my name, and “Crisis Center Day”, showing you the living circumstances there (and getting out of that)). But unfortunately, without any public support, I can’t clear my name and can’t get rid of the “schizophrenic” stigma.

My strategies are written in such a way that I don’t need to depend on others to execute it, unless I need a person with a certain authority, only when that is unavoidable. They would work out better if I were separated from those who negatively influence my path.

To do that, I need money and to get that: I need revenue. (I’ll never work for a boss again, I’m telling you 🙂 . I need more money than that, for this success… How else can I build my own compounds? (My alternative is suicide. I have no tolerance for scripted and/or shallow conversations.)). But keeping in touch with my target audience, as you must have noticed, is not easy. Especially without the endorsement of the public (amplified due to the curse my circle has cursed me with, by internationally spreading a lie about me). This is the most severe experience of loneliness ever.

What the Success I Work towards looks like

So I need to keep going with setting up my little web-empire, so that I can later build an empire in real life. But in the meantime, those who do not read complain about the complexity of my concept. I try to be as clear as possible: it’s not easy, but it most certainly is a fruitful concept.

My success, in reality, is not based on scale. On the contrary! I would rather earn from one person for whom I can set in all of my goods and services, than earn from people who buy because they’re responding to a created hype. The one audience wants to spend more than the other, and I value a good personal relationship.

And by “personal relationship”, I mean that once I have a non-online, classic but alternative looking bookstore, I can invite my intimate group of main clients over for tea, for example. From there we can talk about how we can easily overpower the system, by working together. (Like when certain types of religion weren’t allowed and they had to meet secretly.)

Using big social networks paired with that directly, will take away our strength of mutual judgment, so I’m very glad to have said goodbye to my accounts on Facebook and Instagram. Though I’m still not at peace with the way they have treated me.

I hope that once I have finished all of my websites, you, who know where to find me, will enjoy the selection of books I recommend you, and will become a guest writer for The Fangs. “The Fangs” is like “The Times”, is my aim.

And from the revenue and fruitful partnerships that result from this extended digital success, I can constitute my own country: Planet Fang.

Please Consider This

Anyone willing to invest in this concept for a real-life intimate bookstore (and art gallery) with a stage and a kitchen, where I run the entire place myself? If it were in a secluded area, on private land I desire to purchase, it can be more for a neo-elite-ish audience, which is my target audience.

Excuse me for not having my renewed websites finished yet, but I was hoping you’ll reach out to me before I do… I’ve been at this for more than a year now 🙁 .

Why This Hurts so Much

My road to success would have been less long and dreadful, if I had a father who is willing to invest in me. Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to know that the money is there, but that he would rather spend it on himself or someone else? (Or Bitcoins…)

I now need to do everything myself, which doesn’t allow me to save any money for my future. I do things that are so time consuming, while if I outsource them, I would have time to focus on more important things.

And then there are the people who defend my father’s choice to let me bleed, saying that my business concept is not good. I have never explained what the exact Golden Egg is, so how can they know?

When we’re finally tackling overpopulation, I wouldn’t mind if they die for hurting me. The same goes for those who think that all a female’s business can do is have sex for money? I’d like to kill all of them myself.

Me wanting to kill certain individuals – justified by overpopulation and non-fruitful, fraudulent personalities – is sparked by the fact that they always hurt me and if they’re dead, I’m certain that they won’t hurt me anymore and won’t come anywhere near me after I’ve distanced myself from them.

Currently…

I woke up around 8 AM, because technicians for the solar panels that will be placed in a few weeks, came to check the structure of the electricity circuits in the house.

I was very hungry, but didn’t know what would satisfy my taste buds. I answered some ASKfm questions, but when I felt that they were becoming a bit too much, I put away my phone. I laid in bed, thinking about how to get rid of my loneliness and still about what to eat as well. But then drifted off to sleep again.

After waking up again, I felt a strong need to be productive. But then I thought of all of my previous attempts to get online revenue, which were also not responded to.

I’m giving myself an supernaturally long list of tasks, to better my services towards you, but what if it’s ignored again? Then I’d put my tachycardia on the line for nothing, again.

I still can’t be certain if this will be ignored again or get me the desired results. But I can only know it by trying it. It kind of sucks to spend months of blood, sweat and tears, not knowing if what I’m doing is worth it. I hope you’ll read this and take that into consideration.

To make my diary a bit more overseeable, I’ll be using more titles. That’s part one of being productive…

It’s now 16:11 (04:11 PM) and I still haven’t eaten anything yet. I’ll be making myself a salad now, hoping that I don’t faint from hunger (used to have that often, as a child).

After that, I’m going to work on the texts for my websites.

When I’m done with all of the web things I need to do – that won’t be today – I’ll use Twitter for marketing. I hope people will like my selection of books.

~~~

17:20 (05:20 PM) 

Dates 🙁

Mid-eating this improv salad…

I have the house to myself, because my sister is at her boyfriend’s (far more often than she is at home, which concerns me because it doesn’t affect my parents) and my parents are at a barbecue.

I ate these dates before my salad:

No dates, but dates… x_x

I hate being single, my meow. But currently there’s only one person I see myself be with and be successful. Someone who isn’t easy to reach, unfortunately. Dating someone available of my age would hold me back, I know from experience and because they don’t aim as high as I do in life.

Fatigue & Other Health Struggles

I don’t know what I’ll make myself for dinner, yet. I think I’ll just grill some tuna and eat the rest of the salad I have here.

My brain still needs rest, my meow, but I want to see my websites finished 🙁 . What to do… 😔 I can never give myself a genuine off day, because I can’t stop thinking of all of the work that has to be done 🙁 . It just has to be finished x_x.

I need to see my doctor in Germany, but I need more money for that.

As you have seen plenty of times now, my phycisian here in my neighborhood does anything but help me. All she does is try to get my body fucked up with antipsychotics I’m intolerant of and try to get me declared incompetent. She tells my sister to take her antibiotics with fucking yoghurt. I don’t want to go anywhere near her, but the Dutch health care system forces the exact opposite.

I still have HPV and my heart beat causes chest pains far more frequently, lately. It’s getting time for a check-up of the state of my aortic insufficiency and tachycardia, too. Plus I think I should let a full body MRI be made, because something reallyyy doesn’t feel right 🙁 . (Especially when walking around with HPV for too long.)

Also, I’d like the fluid that causes the bags underneath and above my eyes to be taken away. And get my body waxed entirely. (And transfer my belly fat to my buns… :D) I’d feel a lot better in my own skin, then. And if I’d have new and better clothing 😿 .

And this is also not good for my health:

My heart x_x. It feels like starting back from scratch….

Love Cravings

Plus I still want Cishes from Victishe – especially after all that happened – but I don’t know how else to attempt again than by having my websites finished and starting about one of my case studies – about alternative governance – that is finished when I have a leader’s perspective. But I fear rejection 😿 .

Working to earn a large passive income is very exhausting 🙁 .

~~~

19:03 (07:03 PM) 

Thun marinated in sweet ketjap, soy sauce, sesame oil and honey. Und Salattt.

Reassurance

I want you, who appreciates this, to feel comfortable around me. I have been justifying murder, but want you to know that you won’t become part of that list, if you don’t hurt me. And if you have, please just either blame someone else or apologize, using good arguments no matter what. I think that’s what we both need.

I reflect on my faults every day and share that here. I find that enough. If you find it correct that you have hurt me, then it’s a given that me wanting you dead will never change. Plus, we need to tackle overpopulation somehow anyway.

Lol that were my solo dinner number 1057’s thoughts. Hoping that one day I’ll start having dinner with someone powerful and sexy every day 🤔 .

If you’re not certain if you’re powerful and sexy: if you’re powerful, I’ll find you sexy for sure. And if you’re not certain, then that’s cute 🙂 . Unless you say “I can’t…”, “I don’t…”, “I’m not…” too often. Please don’t do that when deep down you know that that’s not the case 🙂 .

I wonder why attractive people stay away from me 🙁 . Who do you expect me to date…? Please don’t say someone from the exact same origin 😿 .

My Type

From when I was taught about living to grow old and start a family, I’ve been imagining myself with a Dutch man of at least 7 feet tall. One who is extremely muscular and intelligent, who has bright light eyes and dark hair.

“Dutch” because I want to know the experience of life in a white Dutch family. In school I often blended in with the foreign kids, and had some Dutch friends as well, but I wasn’t allowed to stay outside as late and go anywhere, the way they were/are allowed to. And the combination of our heritages will make us veryyy powerful, globally 🙂 .

At least 7 feet, because I’m living with a love deficit and experiencing love from someone tall is unique. I don’t come across men that tall often. I would love to experience how it feels to cuddle someone at whose chest height I am, the way short girls experience that. Plus when it comes to sports, I like a challenge 🙂 .

I am, by the way, attracted to women as well. Just because this is a men’s world, still, when it comes to power, I prefer something more traditional.

Muscular and intelligent, because it’s irresistible and “mutual intelligence” will keep our conversation diverse and exciting (if I’m able to calm my attraction nerves 😀 ).

And bright light eyes and dark hair, because I find the contrast so beautiful. I want a brighter eye color, too, my meow 🙁 . Plus mixed children with bright eyes are sooo 😻 . But in actuality, I feel attracted to some people who don’t look like that, too.

Am I your type¿ I find it very hard to see if someone’s into me or not, when I’m speaking to anyone.

Thinking Funds

It would be cool to be a publisher with a literary cafe, right? 🙂 All I need is some people who already have a name, to invest in it and publicly endorse it.

Due to overpopulation, it would do better in a secluded area, where visiting the cafe would then become a special day trip. Plus I like to work outside busy cities and prefer calmth in a public space. Members only entrance?

I could then organize events in my own event space 🙂 . I would much rather have it be part of my own compound, though, for the concepts for alternative food distribution I have. It would be cool if big companies that are around for years already, would collab with me 🙂 .

This is not a concept for traditional crowd funding…

I’m exhausted, so I’m going to fold out the electronic leg rest of the couch in the semi-anex-ish space in this house, and reason some. Writing and typing I should do less, because my brain feels as if it can give out any second meoww ciao xxx

~~~

23:03 (11:03 PM) 

Bath Cat

Spending the rest of my day reasoning, without a phone or anything else requiring cognitive energy, was sooo nice. Though I haven’t been productive for my websites, and money troubles were consuming me a bit, it was very comfortable.

To amplify the comfort, I’m taking a bath now. It has been sooo long since I’ve soaked in this little bath…

Fangs in bath

From bed cat, to bath cat, my meoww 😽

And I hadn’t showered all day, so it feels very right to do this ahaha…

But the mental calmth is only sealed when I put away my phone…

Tomorrow, I’m planning on being genuinely productive with these websites. But only at the start of the day. I just want to have the texts I want to be on it, written in advance. Then it’s a matter of copy-pasting, when I’m done configuring the designs. So tomorrow, at the start of the day, I’ll be writing.

I’ve always been this “last minute student” and that shows in how I run this mini web empire haha… Wish I had some people working for me, who will enjoy how chill I am when it comes to salary (partially upfront) and the influence I allow you to have. Hehe 😀 .

Later tomorrow, I’m going to attend a food tasting event in a castle: Slot Zeist. I love food and events, so I’m so looking forward to it 🙂 . I’m intending to socialize and meet some new people. Hopefully hand out some business cards… Even though my websites aren’t finished x_x . I hope to see you there 🙂 . It starts at 12 and ends at 7. We’ll probably be there around 4 or so…

There’s a party next door, so I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep any time soon. (I’ve been playing loud music often enough, though, so it’s definitely not a big deal.) But after having soaked a little more – though this bath its plug is old so it goes empty out itself over time – I’m going to attempt to sleep.

Good night and hope to see you tomorrow introducing yourself saying you’re my fellow Fangyist (I hope that will happen, but I’m convincing myself that it won’t, so that I won’t be disappointed haha)…

Sweet dreams ♥

xxx

Blog, Ex Animo, Images, MacroFangs, Nosce Te Ipsum, Polls, Popular Posts, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

TWITTER GROUP CHAT LECTURE!!!!!

About what?

From Project Nosce Te Ipsum to the Economics and Law that constitute Planet Fang… I’ll explain E-VE-RY-THING (including my communication strategies) in this group chat!!! 🙂

And you can ask me anything :D. I can also remove you from the chat if you’re not interested (anymore) :).

Please make a Twitter account, if you do not have that 🙂 .

Check out @LilFangs_’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/LilFangs_/status/1122320028848803840?s=09

It’s lit 😀

I just created this poll and wanted to share that with the people I follow on the social network, which caused me to create a group chat.

And now I’ll use it to give lectures about D.O.C.I.S. International [Determined Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem] 🙂 .

The spontaneous fun we could have here makes me want to do nothing else than this 🙂 .

It never ends! 😀

Change of Spontaneous Plans

It will work better on a different platform, with people who already have some background knowledge about my endeavors.

Lil Fangs
Art, Audio, Blog, Donation Forms, Ex Animo, Images, Interest & Money in Perspective, Interviews, MacroFangs, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Polls, Popular Posts, Random questions, Random Thoughts, Recipes, Reflections, The General Theory of Employment, Tips, Uncategorized, Videos

Dominique Daniëlle Elia CV (curriculum vitae) in het Nederlands

Dominique Daniëlle Elia

Praesens (D.O.C.I.S. International)

 

Algemene persoonsgegevens

Geboortedatum: 1 november 1996 (22 jaar)

Geboorteplaats: Rotterdam

E-mailadres: d.danielle.elia@gmail.com (persoonlijk)

Adres: XXXXXXXXXX Capelle aan den IJssel

 

Persoonlijke doelen

Langetermijndoel

Op de lange termijn wil ik, door middel van het combineren van wiskundige, economische, wettelijke en didactische kennis, graag bijdragen aan de hervorming van het internationaal politiek-economisch systeem, met een (nog) sterke(re) nadruk op duurzaamheid. Dit of via het bedrijfsleven, of via de politiek zelf.

Korte termijn doelen

  • (Minstens) mijn bachelor in de wiskunde behalen.
  • Lang genoeg werkervaring opdoen om officieel aantoonbaar op hoger dan junior-niveau te kunnen presteren.
  • Mijn netwerk uitbreiden ten gunste van mijn langetermijndoel.
  • Een nieuwe strategie uitdenken om als zelfstandige dichter bij mijn langetermijndoel te kunnen komen.

Educatie

Diploma’s

  • Marnix Gymnasium: Gymnasium

Behaald in 2016

Profielkeuze: Economie & Maatschappij met Duits, Latijn, wiskunde B en informatica

  • The Open University: Open Bachelor’s Degree

Nog niet behaald

Georiënteerd op (Financiële) Wiskunde

Certificaten

  • British Council
    • Cambridge First Certificate English
  • European Piano Teachers Association
    • Niveau C2
  • Basis Flight Simulator certificaat

Werkervaring

  • Neridus-IT: Boekhoudassistente

augustus 2013 – september 2016

Het bijhouden van de financiële bewijsstukken (zowel digitaal als fysiek) en de financiële correspondentie tussen het bedrijf en het (uitbestede) accountantskantoor.

  • Zowel Delfshaven: Financieel hulpverlener (vrijwilliger)

juni 2016 – september 2016

Het ordenen van de administratie, opstellen van persoonlijke budgetten, inlichten en aanvragen voorbereiden, van mensen met financiële problemen in de regio Delfshaven, in een bijstands- en/of schuldsaneringstraject.

  • Elia PR: PR consultant (zelfstandige)

september 2016 – december 2017

Het ontwikkelen van PR strategieën en campagneconcepten voor individuen, op basis van de technieken van de grondleggers van de PR, in een uiterst alternatief, modern jasje.

  • D.O.C.I.S. International: Auteur, onderzoeker, (PR) strateeg en webdeveloper (zelfstandige)

juli 2018 – heden

Het ontwikkelen van een onderzoeksproject met toekomstige bestuursuitbreiding, aansluitend op mijn langetermijndoel, door middel van een invulverhalenserie (om zo te beginnen met een consumentenonderzoek dat uiteindelijk aanduidt aan welke eisen de internationale gemeenschap wil dat een revolutionair politiek-economisch systeem voldoet). Dit concept is echter nog niet officieel aan de man gebracht en dient op dit moment meer als een hobby waarmee ik ook een zakcentje verdien.

  • ANWB: Telefonisch hulpverlener

augustus 2018 – september 2018

Zomerkracht op de afdeling gespecialiseerd in de internationale voorziening van huurauto’s voor mensen die pech hebben gehad onderweg, maar toch hun vakantie willen voortzetten.

Overige (Informele) Ervaring

  • Ervaring met koken

Ik sta al van jongs af aan in de keuken, ken veel diverse kooktechnieken en smaakcombinaties uit keukens uit vele verschillende landen (met name Suriname, Nederland, Italië, Frankrijk en India), ontwikkel zeer regelmatig mijn eigen recepten (want ik hou van gevarieerd eten) en kook ook regelmatig driegangendiners voor groepen van 5 tot 10 mensen.

  • Ervaring met lesgeven

Over lesgeven (en spreken voor publiek) ben ik zeer gepassioneerd. Ik heb in veel verschillende disciplines (bij)les gegeven, waaronder: wiskunde, economie, PWSsen schrijven, piano spelen, vechttechnieken, basketbaltechnieken, koken, Engels, Nederlands en omgaan met telefoons en computers.

  • Ervaring als model

Van kleins af aan doe ik af en toe modellenwerk op aanvraag of voor eigen bedrijfsdoeleinden.

  • Ervaring als actrice/figurant
    • Acteren vind ik ook ontzettend leuk. Ik heb hier een beetje ervaring mee (door school, dansoptredens en sketches met mede hobby video sketch makers.)

Publicaties

Boeken

ISBN: 9789082936803

Gepubliceerd op 24 september 2018

Een heruitgave van episodes over mijn onderzoeksproject en science-fiction verhaal die ik eerder had gepubliceerd, maar later van het internet af had gehaald in verband met de controverse achter het publiceren van mijn persoonlijke verhaal in het verhaal en het risico dat dat kon zijn voor een baangarantie.

ISBN: 9789082936810

Gepubliceerd op 30 september 2018

Een introductie van het invulverhaal en de onderzoeksmethode achter het invulverhaal, waarin de lezer de protagonist is en de ingevulde informatie zal worden gebruikt voor het zoeken naar “The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning”, die nodig is voor het vinden van een politiek-economisch consensus.

ISBN: 9789082936834

Gepubliceerd op 30 november 2018

Een uitweiding van het invulverhaal, met als thema de (bedrijfs)filosofie en strategische uitdagingen binnen het onderzoeksconcept, gecombineerd met een vroege poging tot ledenwerving.

ISBN: 9789082936896

Gepubliceerd op 30 januari 2019

Een lang essay over een non-cijfermatig algoritme voor levensverbetering en de toepassing hiervan.

ISBN: 9789082936889

Gepubliceerd op 30 maart 2019

De onthulling van de spanningslagen uit het eerste boek van het invulverhaal en de laatste invulvragen die samen de hypothese van The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning vormen.

Long-read Artikelen

Publicatiedatum: 28 februari 2019

Dit is deel 1 van de artikelenserie die gaat over de macro-economische gedachte achter de organisatie die ik wil starten en over de economische hervorming van Keynes.

Publicatiedatum: 15 april 2019

Deel 2 van de serie over macro-economie in de context van mijn (hopelijk) toekomstig bedrijf, gaat in op hedendaagse voorbeelden van marktfalen en de (zelf ontwikkelde) wiskundige basismodellen achter mijn idee van duurzame hervorming.

Karaktereigenschappen

Positief Negatief
Communicatief sterk Soms verlegen
Doortastend empathisch vermogen (Vrijetijds)workaholic wat betreft auteurschap en onderzoek
Leert snel Gebruikt soms complexe woordkeuzes en zinsconstructies
Initiatiefnemer

 

Hobby’s

In mijn vrije tijd dans ik graag. In het verleden heb ik ballet (3-4 jaar), streetdance (12 – 14 jaar) en hip-hop (16 jaar) danslessen gevolgd. Ik heb vroeger ook judo (4 tot 8 jaar), pençak silat (6 tot 12 jaar) en tennislessen (3 jaar eventjes en toen 10 tot 12 jaar) gevolgd. Vanaf mijn veertiende tot mijn achttiende speelde ik voor Rotterdam Basketbal. Sinds mijn negende speel ik piano.

Tekenen (en schilderen en beeldhouwen) doe ik met slecht weer met plezier. Fotograferen doe ik ook heel graag. Vooral wanneer ik reis, wat ik ook erg vaak met vol enthousiasme doe. Ik ben in Nederland (Amsterdam, Texel, Ameland, Hoenderloo, Maastricht, Enschede, en nog een paar steden), Duitsland (Berlijn, Stuttgart, München, Düsseldorf, Trier, Wiesbaden en Meerbusch), Frankrijk (Parijs en diverse delen van Normandië), België (diverse plaatsen in de Ardennen en Antwerpen), Engeland (Newcastle), Ierland (Dublin), Suriname (Paramaribo en twee plaatsen in “de binnenlanden”), de Bahama’s (Nassau), Spanje (Ibiza), Italië (Rome, Udine, Verona, Venetië en Brugnera), Turkije (Marmaris en Alanya), Griekenland (Kreta) en de Verenigde Staten (Miami, FL; Baltimore, MA) op vakantie geweest, gedurende mijn hele leven, en zou graag nog veel meer van de wereld willen zien.

Verder lees ik ook graag informatieve klassiekers (zo kom ik bijvoorbeeld aan mijn PR basiskennis), ben ik bekend met programmeren met Visual Basic (en heb ik ook ervaring met programmeren voor Android, Java (in het algemeen) en C# (voor Unity)), kan ik Access databases bouwen (zo heb ik mijn eigen boekhoudsysteem gemaakt, voor mijn persoonlijke administratie), beheers ik HTML en CSS, spreek ik vloeiend Engels (en kan ik een beetje Frans spreken (en het bijna vloeiend verstaan (als het niet te snel en geen gebroken Frans/straattaal is)), Sranan Tongo kan ik redelijk verstaan, Duits kan ik redelijk spreken en vrijwel vloeiend verstaan), maak ik soms beats met Reason Lite, ga ik regelmatig naar de sportschool (voor krachttraining), houd ik van (neo-soul/rap/hip-hop/jazz/klassiek/R&B) muziek luisteren, fietsen en sprinten, ben ik de laatste tijd een beetje Italiaans aan het leren, en – last but not least – schrijf ik heeeeel veeel (voor mijn persoonlijke blog LilFangs.com 🙂 ).


If you are interested in becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International, please read my Business Overture 🙂

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