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Disrupting The Silent Pyramid [Essay]

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid

A D.O.C.I.S. Essay

By Lil Fangs

An Author’s Note

This essay was written when I was in a very difficult situation. Again, being put in a powerless situation by someone else’s authority. I hoped that selling what I know about the deep-state, would help me to afford to get away from those circumstances forever. I’m not in that crisis center anymore, so the contextual information at the end of the post does not apply to me anymore. I, however, still need the funds to live independently. The essay was, because of that, put online for €1177.77, but it had no sales. I find it still important that you get the rest of my message, and that is why I now put this essay online for free.

When I published any other book I’ve published, just like when I was trying to sell this essay, I am trying to earn, so that I can set up a successful business and leave my current life behind me for good. I hope I can count on your support, this time.


“Always start the documents you sell, off with a quote. It will make you look more (modern) scholarly.”

– Lil Fangs

That was a joke 😂 … The rest won’t be…

This essay is all about the hierarchical pyramid, visible on the next page. I’m writing this from my own perspective. As a regular citizen, attempting to formulate an independent opinion, hoping I’ll succeed in nudging the official authorities, so that we can flip the pyramid together, forming a new powerful union.

Oh meow I reallyyy need to share this citation with you again, though. (I used it in my EP, too.) It perfectly suits the content of this essay! The first three paragraphs of Propaganda, by Edward Bernays:

“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.

We are governed, our minds molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society.

Our invisible governors are, in many cases, unaware of the identity of their fellow members in the inner cabinet.”

Introduction

Why Disrupt This?

Slowly but surely, the system is destroying itself. The education system and cultural stories that are told from generation to generation, have taught us to value money. It gives us a status. It is the reason many people leave their homes every day.

If an idea is not an idea that can make you rich, society will not consider it a good idea. In that way, making an unprofitable difference, out of kind-heartedness, and to do what is best for our generation and future generations to come, is unappealing to society.

What is appealing to society, is to maximize profits, regardless of what it does to nature. What is appealing to society, is to destroy the names of talented people, because most people don’t have any talents. What is appealing to society, is to make a small story far bigger than it actually is, because otherwise, people have nothing to talk about.

When nature gives out, because it has been abused by this generation far too much, money will have no value. Many lives will become purposeless. That is not our problem (anymore), because they have had enough time and have received enough information to create a better system.

Those at the top (three layers) of the pyramid, have no clue what they are actually doing. They’re far too busy playing the status game. They think it has actual meaning, while it’s only talk. They don’t think about the future, and the consequences of their actions.

To make sure that they don’t ruin the future of us and generations to come, we should flip the pyramid. Instead of trying to maintain what we have, we should disrupt it even further – none of us truly enjoys this anyway. It’s only a façade, needed to keep our status. It is better to cause the disruption ourselves, so that we have control over the way the world looks, after it the system is collapsed, instead of giving in to the prospect of our fate being an uncontrollable chaos, caused by idiots.

The disruption starts with your purchase – thank you 💕 – and is followed by all of us taking physically visible action, simultaneously. I’ll first convince you of why the system has to be disrupted, some more, including some sad stories and good prospects, then I’ll tell you more about my Stratagem, and after that, it’s time for real action 🙂 .

Core

Looking from the Bottom up

From the bottom of the pyramid, the experience of life is anything except joyful. Formulating an independent opinion is too difficult for many, so we are taught to adapt and dumb down our conversation. We watch the members of the inner cabinet try to uncover who is who, and know that right-wing and left-wing are meaningless concepts in that context.

Some individuals are in multiple positions in the pyramid at the same time, due to the status that comes with their profession. Some, like me, aren’t. There are right-wing politicians, doing independent research, echoing their views over the sounds of journalists who blindly follow trends, attempting to reach the business authorities that are being told what to do, by binge-watching babyboomers and their offspring, for example.

We, at the bottom, hope to see a large Volta, where there will be no more name shaming as “world news”. We, at the bottom, want to see the type of change in society that will make everyone go back to school again, because life as we know it will fully change.

But the change the bottom two layers want and need to see, will mean that the top three layers of the pyramid will become obsolete. Fully obsolete…

Schizophrenia

When I say this to those who blindly follow trends, they respond with something in the context of: “No wonder you are diagnosed with schizophrenia.” The media pre-chew everything there is to discover in life, and tell you how you should feel about that, so how come I have such an odd opinion about everything in life?

“Propaganda” is a bad word, “multiculturalism”, “professional” and “STG” are good words, according to the trends. How about they become just words again, where “good” or “bad” depends on the context they are used in, and the personal view of the listener.

So then, in my view, “I’m going to use propaganda to make everyone my minion,” is bad. But “I’m going to use propaganda to force people to think independently (and unveil their identity),” is good.

Since I’m, in the meantime, still busy debunking the diagnosis schizophrenia I have received, I have to still point this out, though I assume you know I know this, and I hope you know this: Officially, the official authorities and those backing them, are on top of the pyramid. But because we are taught that the media are the voice of independent reason, the official top of the pyramid is not treated as the top of the pyramid, but as puppets who have to be shaped according to the will of the self-preservative deep-state, profiting of the overrated status game.

The bottom two rows of the pyramid are structurally being prohibited from emancipating, because the top three layers do not want to give up their position in the Silent Pyramid. This is so severe, that from a young age, people are taught to stop hoping for change, and accept life as it is. Then the media confirm that image, by publishing thousands of pessimistic articles per day. And if you go too far in your believes for change, like me, you’ll become a victim of social shock therapy and be forced to take psychiatric drugs until you give up on your dreams. Life can’t go on like this forever! Especially not because of the state of the waterworks… 🙂 (The state that is fully ignored by those who blindly follow, and which is not getting enough media attention AT ALL!!!)

I have a lot of trouble with that people who blindly follow trends are authorized to label and stigmatize the worlds of people they can’t even understand. In my view, schizophrenia – as well as MANY other labels – cannot exist, because every perspective on life is unique. It’s just used to push us down the Pyramid even further… That includes people who are convinced by other people that they’re dumb, while they’re actually very smart.

Dissolving the Deep-State

As was said in the citation of Bernays: the members of the inner cabinet, do not know the identity of their fellow members. As in that they cannot openly discuss their hidden agendas. But if you’re only in it for the money and other forms of self-preservation, it’s not necessary to discuss your agenda to reveal your identity. (I say “your” for simplicity. I don’t necessarily mean you, my dear reader.)

In our competitive world, everyone is incentivized to show characteristics of politeness and intelligence, whether they’re real or fake. Humor, in the meantime, has evolved into “laughing after barbarianism”. To me, today’s sense of humor is painful and loveless. Real humor requires intelligence. Intelligence most people – sad but true – don’t have.

Through someone’s sense of humor, you can decipher that person’s identity and hidden agenda. The façade of politeness and intelligence is meaningless, when jokes are misunderstood due to the lack of understanding. From that, an interview follows, to unveil the nature of a joke [Was it to indirectly insult, or was it to make laugh?], and to unveil the nature of the listener [Does the listener find the joker a good conversationalist, or does he/she find him an annoying nerd?].

I’m pulling out all the stops in this paragraph [wonder why?] 😏 . I just want to show you that, even though I’m not really part of it (yet), I know your world very well.

We shouldn’t spend time with those we can’t get along with. The politeness, resembling “professionalism”, in this competitive world, we should let go of, because I know that there are, like me, many people who stay polite, while they would rather scream so loud that their saliva starts to foam. It’s not healthy to crop up emotions (of anger)!

I believe that there is a professional deep-state, and a personal deep-state. The professional deep-state has superficial people wanting to look cool in the one corner, and pioneers wanting to make a change, in the other. The experience of the personal deep-state depends on individual identity, but I would categorize it in this way (mind you that my personal bias will echo through this): there are those who live to spread love, of whom some people in their lives live to do the same, but most people live to take advantage of them, because those people, taking advantage, live, but are barely conscious. They have no talent and don’t want to think about life, because their minds are not capable of understanding it, so let alone improving it. Due to the competitiveness in our society and everyone wanting to be a star, they’ll act as if they live to spread love, but in reality, all they do is just survive (by taking advantage of others).

I’m talking to the bottom two layers of the Silent Pyramid, who truly live to spread love (and receive all of mine 😻 ).

An Independent Alliance

A real “Revenge of the Nerds”, will set the record straight. We have adapted ourselves to less intelligent people for long enough. How about we all let “professionalism” go, simultaneously, and just be ourselves. (You’ll breathe more freely than ever before!)

We, the bottom layers of the Pyramid, don’t need large groups of people to do what we want to do in life. It is what makes us strong as individuals, but it’s what makes us weak against the competitive top three layers in the Silent Pyramid, who are more focused on forming self-preservative alliances, than self-development.

We, “nerds”, should seclude ourselves from those we wouldn’t truly voluntarily spend time with anyway. If we all do it together, at the same time, the top three layers will be powerless. We can outsmart them with so much ease!

That is why I plead for the independent alliance of the bottom two layers of the Silent Pyramid, through D.O.C.I.S. International, funded to unite us and revolutionize society. Who do you want to be, when, due to the collapse of the waterworks, the entire system collapses? You can start your life all over again and re-log who you are, for the history books of our future generations. Please let me know, by sending an email to d.elia@docis.international.

End

Call-to-Action

The international deep-state should be uncovered, the media should be taken less seriously, those who blindly follow trends have no purpose in our revolution, official authorities should become actual authorities and those who work hard to formulate an independent opinion, will become the world’s new generation of pioneers.

I hope to have given you information that is understandable, and the incentive to do something you easily can and want to do. All you need to do, is, the next time I ask you to publicly support me, say that you are part of the D.O.C.I.S. International Council, and poke your chest and bum out, showing the world the strong and independent individual that you are. I’ll divide positions and tasks on the fly. (They say don’t put new information in the conclusion of your texts… I’m still doing it. #YOLO.)

A Digression

War in the Western world, would make me happy. To get the chance to rebuild the overpromoted, decaying metropolitans, which are like old, squeaking amusement park attractions, facilitating the same routine over and over and over and over again. I can’t even pretend to like it anymore. I can’t pretend to value it, either. It would also end that awful “The West is the Best”-sentiment (democrats often use).

The top three layers will point a moralistic finger at me, for the first sentence of this digression, but that is only because the war will be against them, and they will be so very powerless.

Ik hoop dat je je door mijn schrijven een stuk minder alleen voelt. Ik hoop dat ik je leven leuker maak, vanaf de afstand van waar ik je bereik.

Je voelt je zeker alleen omdat je voor de meeste mensen te intelligent bent. Maak je niet (meer) druk, want je persoonlijkheid zal binnenkort de allernormaalste zijn. Andersdenkenden belachelijk maken, zal binnenkort belachelijk worden. Ook zal het normaler worden om culturele gebruiken te laten varen.

Of ik helemaal klaar ben met Project Nosce Te Ipsum? Nee, ik wacht tot men me antwoorden opstuurt. Ik moet weten hoeveel mensen A of B stemmen op de laatste vraag in The Hypothesis, omdat ik op basis daarvan, had ik gezegd, het vervolg van het verhaal zal bepalen. Het is ook onderdeel van de informatie die ik nodig heb voor het publieke opinie onderzoek dat ik doe, om te bepalen wat de beste regeermethode is, voor wanneer de waterwerken er niet meer zijn.

Het wordt een spannende tijd. Maar hoe dan ook een leuke tijd, omdat we samen zullen zijn.

I love you 💕

– Xxx – The Fangs

Die dit allemaal in een avondje op haar telefoon typte, in de crisisopvang, hopend dat ze met de opbrengst hiervan een beter alternatief heeft dan de daklozenopvang, omdat ik vandaag weg moet uit de crisisopvang. Hartelijk dank voor je aankoop 💕 .

Hoe vind je mijn verkooppiramide concept, voor de verkoop van mijn essay over de Stille Pyramide? 😏

© Lil Fangs (Dominique Daniëlle Elia) – The contents of this document may be re-sold for a lower price, but only when part of the profits are shared with the author. When reproducing the content, always mention the author.

Blog, Explicit Content, Images, Online Diary, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

Dilemmas… 🤔 [Saturday, June 15, 2019]

14:42 (02:42 PM) 

Good afternoon ♥

A Question of Empathy

I hope you had a good morning 🙂 . If all you want to do in life is run a successful business, and you’re not receiving any support from those you thought would support you: how would you go about this?

The Crux of Working Alone and Externalities

I keep a strict schedule of tasks, but living under the authority of my parents often brings me in situations where I am kept from putting effort into growing my business. Numbering thematic days in my blog posts, motivates me to keep writing about and working on that topic I’m numbering (such as “Cold Case”, needed to clear my name, and “Crisis Center Day”, showing you the living circumstances there (and getting out of that)). But unfortunately, without any public support, I can’t clear my name and can’t get rid of the “schizophrenic” stigma.

My strategies are written in such a way that I don’t need to depend on others to execute it, unless I need a person with a certain authority, only when that is unavoidable. They would work out better if I were separated from those who negatively influence my path.

To do that, I need money and to get that: I need revenue. (I’ll never work for a boss again, I’m telling you 🙂 . I need more money than that, for this success… How else can I build my own compounds? (My alternative is suicide. I have no tolerance for scripted and/or shallow conversations.)). But keeping in touch with my target audience, as you must have noticed, is not easy. Especially without the endorsement of the public (amplified due to the curse my circle has cursed me with, by internationally spreading a lie about me). This is the most severe experience of loneliness ever.

What the Success I Work towards looks like

So I need to keep going with setting up my little web-empire, so that I can later build an empire in real life. But in the meantime, those who do not read complain about the complexity of my concept. I try to be as clear as possible: it’s not easy, but it most certainly is a fruitful concept.

My success, in reality, is not based on scale. On the contrary! I would rather earn from one person for whom I can set in all of my goods and services, than earn from people who buy because they’re responding to a created hype. The one audience wants to spend more than the other, and I value a good personal relationship.

And by “personal relationship”, I mean that once I have a non-online, classic but alternative looking bookstore, I can invite my intimate group of main clients over for tea, for example. From there we can talk about how we can easily overpower the system, by working together. (Like when certain types of religion weren’t allowed and they had to meet secretly.)

Using big social networks paired with that directly, will take away our strength of mutual judgment, so I’m very glad to have said goodbye to my accounts on Facebook and Instagram. Though I’m still not at peace with the way they have treated me.

I hope that once I have finished all of my websites, you, who know where to find me, will enjoy the selection of books I recommend you, and will become a guest writer for The Fangs. “The Fangs” is like “The Times”, is my aim.

And from the revenue and fruitful partnerships that result from this extended digital success, I can constitute my own country: Planet Fang.

Please Consider This

Anyone willing to invest in this concept for a real-life intimate bookstore (and art gallery) with a stage and a kitchen, where I run the entire place myself? If it were in a secluded area, on private land I desire to purchase, it can be more for a neo-elite-ish audience, which is my target audience.

Excuse me for not having my renewed websites finished yet, but I was hoping you’ll reach out to me before I do… I’ve been at this for more than a year now 🙁 .

Why This Hurts so Much

My road to success would have been less long and dreadful, if I had a father who is willing to invest in me. Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to know that the money is there, but that he would rather spend it on himself or someone else? (Or Bitcoins…)

I now need to do everything myself, which doesn’t allow me to save any money for my future. I do things that are so time consuming, while if I outsource them, I would have time to focus on more important things.

And then there are the people who defend my father’s choice to let me bleed, saying that my business concept is not good. I have never explained what the exact Golden Egg is, so how can they know?

When we’re finally tackling overpopulation, I wouldn’t mind if they die for hurting me. The same goes for those who think that all a female’s business can do is have sex for money? I’d like to kill all of them myself.

Me wanting to kill certain individuals – justified by overpopulation and non-fruitful, fraudulent personalities – is sparked by the fact that they always hurt me and if they’re dead, I’m certain that they won’t hurt me anymore and won’t come anywhere near me after I’ve distanced myself from them.

Currently…

I woke up around 8 AM, because technicians for the solar panels that will be placed in a few weeks, came to check the structure of the electricity circuits in the house.

I was very hungry, but didn’t know what would satisfy my taste buds. I answered some ASKfm questions, but when I felt that they were becoming a bit too much, I put away my phone. I laid in bed, thinking about how to get rid of my loneliness and still about what to eat as well. But then drifted off to sleep again.

After waking up again, I felt a strong need to be productive. But then I thought of all of my previous attempts to get online revenue, which were also not responded to.

I’m giving myself an supernaturally long list of tasks, to better my services towards you, but what if it’s ignored again? Then I’d put my tachycardia on the line for nothing, again.

I still can’t be certain if this will be ignored again or get me the desired results. But I can only know it by trying it. It kind of sucks to spend months of blood, sweat and tears, not knowing if what I’m doing is worth it. I hope you’ll read this and take that into consideration.

To make my diary a bit more overseeable, I’ll be using more titles. That’s part one of being productive…

It’s now 16:11 (04:11 PM) and I still haven’t eaten anything yet. I’ll be making myself a salad now, hoping that I don’t faint from hunger (used to have that often, as a child).

After that, I’m going to work on the texts for my websites.

When I’m done with all of the web things I need to do – that won’t be today – I’ll use Twitter for marketing. I hope people will like my selection of books.

~~~

17:20 (05:20 PM) 

Dates 🙁

Mid-eating this improv salad…

I have the house to myself, because my sister is at her boyfriend’s (far more often than she is at home, which concerns me because it doesn’t affect my parents) and my parents are at a barbecue.

I ate these dates before my salad:

No dates, but dates… x_x

I hate being single, my meow. But currently there’s only one person I see myself be with and be successful. Someone who isn’t easy to reach, unfortunately. Dating someone available of my age would hold me back, I know from experience and because they don’t aim as high as I do in life.

Fatigue & Other Health Struggles

I don’t know what I’ll make myself for dinner, yet. I think I’ll just grill some tuna and eat the rest of the salad I have here.

My brain still needs rest, my meow, but I want to see my websites finished 🙁 . What to do… 😔 I can never give myself a genuine off day, because I can’t stop thinking of all of the work that has to be done 🙁 . It just has to be finished x_x.

I need to see my doctor in Germany, but I need more money for that.

As you have seen plenty of times now, my phycisian here in my neighborhood does anything but help me. All she does is try to get my body fucked up with antipsychotics I’m intolerant of and try to get me declared incompetent. She tells my sister to take her antibiotics with fucking yoghurt. I don’t want to go anywhere near her, but the Dutch health care system forces the exact opposite.

I still have HPV and my heart beat causes chest pains far more frequently, lately. It’s getting time for a check-up of the state of my aortic insufficiency and tachycardia, too. Plus I think I should let a full body MRI be made, because something reallyyy doesn’t feel right 🙁 . (Especially when walking around with HPV for too long.)

Also, I’d like the fluid that causes the bags underneath and above my eyes to be taken away. And get my body waxed entirely. (And transfer my belly fat to my buns… :D) I’d feel a lot better in my own skin, then. And if I’d have new and better clothing 😿 .

And this is also not good for my health:

My heart x_x. It feels like starting back from scratch….

Love Cravings

Plus I still want Cishes from Victishe – especially after all that happened – but I don’t know how else to attempt again than by having my websites finished and starting about one of my case studies – about alternative governance – that is finished when I have a leader’s perspective. But I fear rejection 😿 .

Working to earn a large passive income is very exhausting 🙁 .

~~~

19:03 (07:03 PM) 

Thun marinated in sweet ketjap, soy sauce, sesame oil and honey. Und Salattt.

Reassurance

I want you, who appreciates this, to feel comfortable around me. I have been justifying murder, but want you to know that you won’t become part of that list, if you don’t hurt me. And if you have, please just either blame someone else or apologize, using good arguments no matter what. I think that’s what we both need.

I reflect on my faults every day and share that here. I find that enough. If you find it correct that you have hurt me, then it’s a given that me wanting you dead will never change. Plus, we need to tackle overpopulation somehow anyway.

Lol that were my solo dinner number 1057’s thoughts. Hoping that one day I’ll start having dinner with someone powerful and sexy every day 🤔 .

If you’re not certain if you’re powerful and sexy: if you’re powerful, I’ll find you sexy for sure. And if you’re not certain, then that’s cute 🙂 . Unless you say “I can’t…”, “I don’t…”, “I’m not…” too often. Please don’t do that when deep down you know that that’s not the case 🙂 .

I wonder why attractive people stay away from me 🙁 . Who do you expect me to date…? Please don’t say someone from the exact same origin 😿 .

My Type

From when I was taught about living to grow old and start a family, I’ve been imagining myself with a Dutch man of at least 7 feet tall. One who is extremely muscular and intelligent, who has bright light eyes and dark hair.

“Dutch” because I want to know the experience of life in a white Dutch family. In school I often blended in with the foreign kids, and had some Dutch friends as well, but I wasn’t allowed to stay outside as late and go anywhere, the way they were/are allowed to. And the combination of our heritages will make us veryyy powerful, globally 🙂 .

At least 7 feet, because I’m living with a love deficit and experiencing love from someone tall is unique. I don’t come across men that tall often. I would love to experience how it feels to cuddle someone at whose chest height I am, the way short girls experience that. Plus when it comes to sports, I like a challenge 🙂 .

I am, by the way, attracted to women as well. Just because this is a men’s world, still, when it comes to power, I prefer something more traditional.

Muscular and intelligent, because it’s irresistible and “mutual intelligence” will keep our conversation diverse and exciting (if I’m able to calm my attraction nerves 😀 ).

And bright light eyes and dark hair, because I find the contrast so beautiful. I want a brighter eye color, too, my meow 🙁 . Plus mixed children with bright eyes are sooo 😻 . But in actuality, I feel attracted to some people who don’t look like that, too.

Am I your type¿ I find it very hard to see if someone’s into me or not, when I’m speaking to anyone.

Thinking Funds

It would be cool to be a publisher with a literary cafe, right? 🙂 All I need is some people who already have a name, to invest in it and publicly endorse it.

Due to overpopulation, it would do better in a secluded area, where visiting the cafe would then become a special day trip. Plus I like to work outside busy cities and prefer calmth in a public space. Members only entrance?

I could then organize events in my own event space 🙂 . I would much rather have it be part of my own compound, though, for the concepts for alternative food distribution I have. It would be cool if big companies that are around for years already, would collab with me 🙂 .

This is not a concept for traditional crowd funding…

I’m exhausted, so I’m going to fold out the electronic leg rest of the couch in the semi-anex-ish space in this house, and reason some. Writing and typing I should do less, because my brain feels as if it can give out any second meoww ciao xxx

~~~

23:03 (11:03 PM) 

Bath Cat

Spending the rest of my day reasoning, without a phone or anything else requiring cognitive energy, was sooo nice. Though I haven’t been productive for my websites, and money troubles were consuming me a bit, it was very comfortable.

To amplify the comfort, I’m taking a bath now. It has been sooo long since I’ve soaked in this little bath…

Fangs in bath

From bed cat, to bath cat, my meoww 😽

And I hadn’t showered all day, so it feels very right to do this ahaha…

But the mental calmth is only sealed when I put away my phone…

Tomorrow, I’m planning on being genuinely productive with these websites. But only at the start of the day. I just want to have the texts I want to be on it, written in advance. Then it’s a matter of copy-pasting, when I’m done configuring the designs. So tomorrow, at the start of the day, I’ll be writing.

I’ve always been this “last minute student” and that shows in how I run this mini web empire haha… Wish I had some people working for me, who will enjoy how chill I am when it comes to salary (partially upfront) and the influence I allow you to have. Hehe 😀 .

Later tomorrow, I’m going to attend a food tasting event in a castle: Slot Zeist. I love food and events, so I’m so looking forward to it 🙂 . I’m intending to socialize and meet some new people. Hopefully hand out some business cards… Even though my websites aren’t finished x_x . I hope to see you there 🙂 . It starts at 12 and ends at 7. We’ll probably be there around 4 or so…

There’s a party next door, so I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep any time soon. (I’ve been playing loud music often enough, though, so it’s definitely not a big deal.) But after having soaked a little more – though this bath its plug is old so it goes empty out itself over time – I’m going to attempt to sleep.

Good night and hope to see you tomorrow introducing yourself saying you’re my fellow Fangyist (I hope that will happen, but I’m convincing myself that it won’t, so that I won’t be disappointed haha)…

Sweet dreams ♥

xxx

Art, Blog, Ex Animo, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid [Tuesday, June 4, 2019]

00:35 (12:35 AM)

I just finished my essay Disrupting the Silent Pyramid! It’s the best essay/plea/call-to-action I’ve written this far, I believe 🙂 . It’s exactly 2500 words and maybe re-sold for a lower price, if the profits are shared with me. I’m going to put it in my store now 🙂 . Here’s the cover image:

Doesn’t that look awesome? 😀

~~~

01:26 (AM)

There it is 🙂 . It’s also a main menu item:

Yay :D. This really is a must-read! 😀

Please check out the product page! It includes the best product description I’ve written this far 🙂 .

I hope you will support my independent living, by purchasing my essay, so that I, in return, can support your independent living.

I’ll put this on my Instagram and Twitter, and after that, I’ll go to sleep.

I hope I’ll wake up rich and won’t have to move in to a homeless shelter or into my room in my parents’ house again. Then I could just be myself and truly make a change, and can finally leave this schizophrenia nonsense behind me. I really hope you’ll be on my side ♥ .

Good night, my love (if you’re on my side) ♥

xxx

10:49 (AM)

Good morning 🙂 ♥

With an aching chest, I’ve been seeking a homeless shelter for my situation, but I can only find shelters that include psychiatric care. (Aching because this is what it has come to.)

So basically I have about 2 hours until a conversation I don’t even want to have takes place and I will be forced to move back in with my parents.

There are no quick and easy ways to commit suicide in this vicinity. But at “home”, there are. The session that will take place at 1 PM, will be themed with making me feel guilty about the things I’ve said about my parents, followed by them listing reasons why they think I’m psychotic. So I think that afterwards, I’ll feel enough pain and strength to end my life.

In case my essay suddenly starts selling only after I die: the profits must then be divided over Thierry Baudet’s campaigns, President Trump his fight for justice, even better holidays for Victor Geskes and Benoît Crutzen, and my sister’s future (and only she may decide how her share of my funds are spent, which she may only share with her parents buy buying tangibles).

Mind you that the essay is for about 90% about life in general – touching on the aspects of The Silent Pyramid, including how to unveil someone’s identity – and less than 10% about the way I feel about my life in this situation, from the bottom of the Pyramid.

I see people looking at my content frequently and not buying anything. I don’t want to tear up my heart, trying to figure out why they don’t – unless it’s for the looks of it, for which I, as you know, don’t have the funds.

I’m still in bed. But I’m going to get up now, then get ready for the worst session I don’t want to have, and continue to contemplate suicide, for as long as people only read my free content, but don’t buy anything from me.

Ciao xxx

~~~

12:55 (PM) 

The sale of my essay will end after that ugh session. I’ll then stall my suicide until it’s clear if anyone will financially support me by buying my essay or not. It would be a waste of life dying and then finding out that there are many people I can discuss the contents of my essay with, actually peacefully disrupting it in practice.

~~~

16:25 (04:25 PM)

Meowww…

This is such a random week…

I was glad to come home to this new fan! 🙂 My previous one was old and squeaky… [And there will be solar panels placed, next week!]

I unpacked and cleaned my room right after coming home… Meanwhile, the sale has ended. The amount of sales is still 0. I hope I could still somehow convince some people to make the purchase.. I really need to move out 🙁 .

The Dutch health care system, for people with a low income like me, works in such a way, that you can only see a specialist after being referred by a non-specialist healthcare professional. So to be able to get a second opinion, I need to become a patient of the department I was in in 2017-2018 – the VIP department [a Dutch abbreviation for “early intervention for psychoses”]  – which is where the crisis center has referred me to, and then hope that at that department, they are willing and able to refer me to someone I can talk to, who is open to give me a real second opinion.

The only reason why I put so much emphasis on  correcting my medical record, is because I aspire to get a role in society that comes with a lot of responsibility. If I were a schizophrenic, that could get in the way of my sense of responsibility. That is why I want that out of my file: it is not true. There is nothing wrong with my sense of reality…

I wouldn’t mind if my file says that I’m depressed because I have certain ambitions, but am considered too young to make them reality, and I’m being ignored by the people whose attention I desire to have 🙁 . And that I’m lonely :(. Therapy sessions unfortunately can’t change that. But refusing therapy is against the will of my mother… I desire to start off as an official authority’s sidekick and in that way get my schedule full…

I need someone I can really talk to. And cuddle… There are so many (business and science related) things I still wish to learn, from individuals. And I wish to befriend people who do enjoy to hear my ideas about social hierarchy and stuff… Who don’t consider that schizophrenia… x_x

Meanwhile, my heart is getting more and more attached to the idea of being the lifetime companion of someone who is very tall and sexy, with a lot of responsibilities and grey hairs 😻 . I would finally have someone I can talk to, someone I’d enjoy listening to, and one of the few people on this globe I actually truly feel physically attracted to… It’s very random that it’s not someone from my own age, but I love it! (Hoping that my heart won’t be broken…) Don’t know how to make that reality, though… Aside from buying a small house near the German border and then throwing a wildly sexy house warming party for Graeynissis?

Speaking of Germany… I came home to this x_x:

Meoooow x_x. Please buy my essay ahahaha…

Mwehh I’m so lonely 🙁 . Please buy my essay and make me feel less aloneee. I’ll give you the Cishes I’ve been saving up 😀 ♥

I’m going to take a nap… And later work on my websites, now that I’m behind my laptop again… I’ll talk to you later xxx

~~~

21:44 (09:44 PM)  

Heyy ♥

My nap was good. I ate pizza borromea afterwards. Now I’m back in bed…

A week ago, just like that, I was staying in a different room. And now I’m back here. Aside from a different hairstyle, it hasn’t brought me much.

And I feel like too much has happened in this household. I shouldn’t be here. (Hehe my phone’s keyboard suggested “I shouldn’t be single”, to which I agree as well.) In practice, the situation is calm, but I feel so much underlying pressure.

Please buy my essay 🙁 . It might sound foolish to purchase a €1177.77 editable and resellable document, but the words in it are incomparable to anything else. It contains truly new information!

I want my writing to become a luxury product. Not only because I need to earn a serious income to accomplish my goals in life: I find my topics and style of writing that unique as well. I may get some compensation for this, right? 🙁

Now I live in the constant fear of getting an intervention again. My blinds are closed and my lights are off. Wishing I were alone so no one – with authority over me – can see me show this odd behavior. (Not even beginning about my odd e-mail behavior that is often ignored 😿 .) Simultaneously, I wish I had someone to make out with, so that I don’t have to think about the state my life is in.

My ambition to get enough essay sales before tomorrow, so that I have an alternative to going back to that psychiatric treatment I was under in 2017-2018, was called “unrealistic”. I know it’s overambitious, but I’d like to prove them wrong 🙁 . My alternative is searching an office job I don’t even want, and I’m mentally really not ready to start, in a job interview, saying things like: “Ik ben op zoek naar een nieuwe uitdaging.” “Ik ben een teamplayer.” “Een gezellig team met leuke collega’s.” While I actually hate it… Please make my fate a little better :(.

On my essay: I must say – though I assume that you know – that in the pyramid of social hierarchy, official authorities are further at the top. In reality, they adapt to what trend followers demand from them (or accuse them of), which puts them in a lower position in our current reality, is what I see. (But now I’m giving away the content 🙁 .)

Is anyone in the mood for rough and wildly passionate sex? Because I really want to forget that I exist.

Please say something 🙁 .

~~~

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Crisis Center Day 7 [Monday, June 3, 2019]
3 June 2019
Blog, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections

Crisis Center Day 6 [Sunday, June 2, 2019]

05:57 (AM)

Good morning :)♥

The chirping of birds woke me, a while ago. In case you see the featured image and wonder why my pillow is tilted to the side: it’s because (often, due to pillow quality) I prefer to lay my head on the mattress and pretend as if my pillow is someone I can cuddle with…

Kinda feel at home here

I ate some left over soy beans, as I checked my notifications, after which I emptied my bladder. Now I’m back in bed.

Meowww I wish I really had someone to talk to, with whom I can be intimate, who doesn’t want me to change at all. 90% of those I speak to, don’t understand the decisions I make. Not even after explanation. Still they advice me to stop acting differently than others. I have many reasons to do what I do, the way I do it. That’s why I have such a great need for the type of friendship where one look explains enough.

Meanwhile, my fantasies are getting more wild by the minute. Even elevators and taxis are not safe for us anymore… 😻 Though I love the way the mental images make me feel, I fear getting too attached to the idea of us together… Because what if it won’t happen :(.

Being friends or more than friends with me, is/will be/could be something a lot of people have an opinion about. Much of my provocative strategy is received with negative commentary, because I see a complete disruption and replacement of the system we live in, as an improvement, and a lot of people (in truth) do not want their lives to change. I’m telling you: due to the state of our environment (including overpopulation and the injustice many are living in), change is inevitable.
But you and I, like those who will judge us, have the right to have good friendships, too, right. I think, if some would see us together, they would be shaken up by the radience of our power, intelligence and influence. That is something we should disregard, because to better our fate, our Alliance is supposed to become reality.

Today will be a very hot day… I feel like getting a slush puppy? And I do want to get started with that essay I spoke of yesterday. I think I’ll write it down on paper first, for a change. But first, I’ll close my eyes again for a while, later have breakfast and get ready and stuff… xxx

~~~

14:06 (02:06 PM)

Some wild tweets:

Help me er ajb voor zorgen dat ik nooit meer Maccie eet… Ben elke keer misselijk erna x_x. Doe mij maar lobster…

Dit was ik naar mezelf maar snap je wat ik probeer te doen… xd

Currently still @ mcdonalds. Ik denk niet dat ik mijn McFlurry M&M op krijg haha…

~~~

17:41 (05:41 PM)

I’m so tired meowww x_x.

Zzzzz 😴

This weather [and the thought of you 😻 ] got me like… 😂

I enjoyed the weekend, though. I fear tomorrow. I’m powerless against the mental torture sessions I can’t get away from. All I can do is list my rights. They don’t understand that the only reason why I’m here is to have sone time away from home, hopefully even to move out right after I get out of here. They don’t have a protocol for that, here, so they consider me a mentally lost cause. They still think I have trouble learning… I just have high standards, that’s all.

It takes time to put my business concept into practice. Time they can’t and don’t even want to give me, here. I wish to escape the authority of the health care industry and the authority of my parents. I did that when I went to the United States and I did that when I went to Germany (twice). I don’t have the money to do that again. (Otherwise I would have done that again as soon as I received my new passport…) If I don’t escape this situation soon, I’ll probably die under strange circumstances – the way many patients have – and they’ll say it was suicide. I don’t want to die anymore now that, by being here, I’ve received a new chance to prove my point [THAT I AM NOT A SCHIZOPHRENIC]. But I can only succeed in this, if I receive the support from those who can truly understand my writing.

It’s dinner time. I’ll be back afterwards, though I feel like sleeping already… xxx

~~~

19:32 (07:32 PM)

Dinner – bami – was quite good 🙂 . I’m back in bed now. This weather is making me feel like a dried leaf, and I fear this place, in that context, because lorazepam is considered a medicine… It’s my tachtcardia acting up, and psychiatric drugs will make that worse. Wish I had money to visit my doctor in Germany again…

Remember this audio file? https://1drv.ms/u/s!AhevpAkFFwyIi2XeP6xJYmwXkgFY
To me, that is not therapy, but plain abuse of authority. All I do is constantly defend myself. It’s exhausting. I don’t want that again, but tomorrow is Monday 🙁 🙁 🙁 .

I wish I could be with my Vicje 🙁 . Who knows my chances with him. I don’t know, because every time I’ve been around him, I get too busy with fighting the urge to kiss and touch him, while trying to make a cool impression (hahahahahahahaha)…. (I pray he feels the same way about me…) He’s one of the few people on this entire globe, I actually genuinely find attractive. He’s number one on my mental list of people I find attractive. Jhene Aiko is second 🙂 .

I feel kind of lost. During the last “therapy” session, it was said that they wanted to keep me in this ward only until after the weekend, and that after that, they want me to go back to the house of my parents and go back under treatment at the people I went all the way to the United States for, to escape them. This system is awful 🙁 . I don’t even have Graeyniss friends who can visit me here 🙁 .

To solve the problem I’m dealing with, here, I need the capital to buy my own house, and I need the investment needed to further develop my business (concept) (and some money for tuition)… Though they have it, my parents are not an option to ask this, because they would rather keep the money to themselves (and spend it irrationally)… I’d love to ask the people with a high status in society I’ve met, but they have a high status to maintain… I don’t know anyone else willing to support me. Especially not because of the controversial contents of my blog, my social environment doesn’t like.

I can really only do this with you, my Graeyniss… Which is so awesome, on the one hand, because I don’t want to spend time with anyone else! But on the other hand, I fear that you won’t do anything either, and that my fate is to die alone 🙁 .

Haha wow I just heard thunder strike, but, for a second, thought it was a gunshot. Meooow this weather makes me want to have someone to cuddle with even more 🙁 .

Since the ~experts~ here use the last few posts of my blog to call me mentally insane and someone who needs psychiatric drugs et cetera: I have serious grounds to plead for the assassination of some, including overpopulation and illegal activities. I am not a bad influence on my readers, because they haven’t done it – and even if they did, it wouldn’t be for nothing. That is also content for a police case and not a psychiatric case.

I can’t talk about my depression with these people here, because all they do is look at that file from 2017 and try to figure out what the exact schizophrenia of mine is, so that they can prescribe psychiatric drugs to me, with a reason why (@ health insurance). That’s just making me far more depressed! They’re also not even open to listen to my self-diagnoses, “because I’m the patient”. Help me please 🙁 .

The greatest flaw in this psychiatric industry, is that there are too many patients per “doctor”. And that every session is with a different person, who then tries to continue the conversation of his/her colleague, but only knows what the colleague has paraphrased in the digital patient file, which is not everything.
Especially with me, you can’t hold a conversation in that way. My blog has over 400 posts on them, all about this case of mine. I’d appreciate it if the person reviewing me were prepared. And especially not judge after having read not even 10% of what is on here.
But they’re not willing to take the time for me like that. I can understand that, because I’m not open to use psychiatric drugs anyway, and there’s not enough time for a session, because of the amount of patients.

On top of all of that: if I considered psychiatry effective for me, I would have approached a psychiatrist myself, instead of, again, having my mother force me to see one.

What would truly solve my emotional problems, is sex, business and money. Though that might sound as a way to cover up emotional problems: the reason why I’m unsatisfied in life is because I’m striving towards the funding of a multi-component, multinational business, and I’m still not there yet. Plus I’m lonely… And when I, around proletarians, say “still” not “there” yet, they start with meaningless oneliners about having to start small and that failure is not bad et cetera. But for my level of intelligence, that’s worse than bad, and you all know it…

So I’m trying to reason out a quick way to solve this:

– I need to get money.
I should get my laptop, so that I can continue configuring my new online (book)store [in which I also want to sell classics fron Seneca and Ovid, et cetera… You’ll love it!!! 😻 ]. But for that, I need to go past the house of my parents and I wish to not speak to them… But my keys are at home x_x.

– I need to prove that I don’t have schizophrenia.
Just because of my aspirations, I want my files to show the truth about me. However, if convincing you through my own network (D.O.C.I.S. International/LilFangs.com) is possible, then I could sort of settle for that. Meanwhile, my mother loves to send me here, though. That’s why I do prefer to correct my file. To stop her from being able to do that.
The problem is that the “doctors” here, who don’t have time for exceptional cases, are not even willing to listen to the reasons why not. And if one psychiatrist would say “Lil Fangs is not a schizophrenic”, it would be much easier for other psychiatrists to say that the psychiatrist supporting me is also a schizophrenic, instead of suddenly having the world know that dozens of healty care professionals have done a VERY bad job with me, because I am not a schizophrenic (and have never been one, but the illness is chronic, so according to those “experts”, I was born weak-minded). I hope now you know for sure why I have been putting so much emphasis on my medical record, over the past few years 🙂 .

– I need a place to stay.
Chances are that tomorrow they’ll either send me home or send me to a different ward. What I want is to live with someone I can talk business with (and be intimate with). But that is only possible when you anticipate on this blog post (Vicje 😻 ). If not – which would break my heart, but I could still get to show some empathy if you would (but please please PLEASE don’t break it) – I would choose the different ward. Or maybe they’ll keep me here and force me to undergo treatment with drugs here. That would be a powerless hell, but then I could continue to point out things that desperately need to be altered, in the (Dutch) psychiatric system.
I’d rather do that, than go back to my parents’ house. I consider this form of raising awareness the most useful – hopefully media victims are considering to publish their news through me. And I’d rather write than have to resort to some job serving drinks full-time, continuously being disturbed by the fact that I have a business here, ready for expansion.

If my B admits to being the voice in the Head Cuddle… 🙁 The case would be closed just like that. It’s who we are, naturally, and we have this ability for a purpose. I still experience the sound, but it’s as if we have nothing to talk about, if we can’t even spend time together. We’re supposed to be designing a new world together 🙁 .

My dear reader, please do something 🙁 . To help me, you could, for example, form an alliance with other supporters of mine you know. I beg you to distance yourself from those who are not on my side, if you’re on my side, because our opponents are incredibly hurtful and I do not want you to get hurt! 🙁

If you’re a sweet and influential Graeyniss reading this: you know where I am at all times. You can see what I see and hear what I hear. I hope you’ll use these tools to make me even happier, by freeing me and allowing me to spend more time with you in person. It’s what we both want…

No one wants me to stay in a ward like this for three months or longer, again (I assume…). To earn – so that I can afford to live elsewhere, without moving back in with my parents – I should get access to a computer (and buy a better one…). I wish I could just be Vicje’s sidekick, though… (Because, yes, my mind does need special attention on the work floor, because I think I’m already ready to handle a director’s workload…) Meoow I wonder if he’s still in the country… I would be so happy to spend much more time with him. Even if it’s only to look at him: he’s such a Catje! 😻

I’m going to go to sleep again. With panties only, because it’s sooo hott in here…

Good night ♥

xxx

Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections

Crisis Center Day 5 [Saturday, June 1, 2019]

06:49 (AM)

Good morning ♥

How are you today? 🙂

I’m quite well rested, it seems. I’m thinking of how to keep myself occupied today… I feel like writing an essay about unspoken social hierarchy, but spending so much time with my phone in my hands isn’t healthy and I don’t have my laptop with me…

Tomorrow will be a very hot day, so I really need those tights, though. (Even better would be to get my legs waxed… It’s very much needed… I wear tights in an attempt to mask my wildly unshaved legs…) And I should get outside to get some food…

I’m casually laying here in my cell. From the start of my blog, I’ve been saying that these institutions have mentally scarred me and that their forms of treatment are ineffective (to me). But I guess I had to get myself locked up in here to prove that point. I bet some still don’t believe that I’ve been through this hell before.

The reason why I’m not rich yet, is because I haven’t found any willing and suitable business partners yet. They should stay away from me with their psychiatric drugs, because that won’t change anything about that. It also won’t change the disappointment I have in my parents, for not wanting to invest in me, but still spending thousands of euros on takeout food and infrequently giving me cash I can only use for basic essentials, such as paying my bills when I don’t have enough money myself. I need a holiday 🙁 .

I feel so weird for begging Vicje to save me… Because I have no other plans for freedom… As in that I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to suddenly spend so much time with. He seems like someone who will really appreciate my companionship. Someone who can understand the contents of my mind, and vice versa (though to understand his world, I need to witness it for a longer time, first, to learn, which is what I would truly love to do). But to come here, on the terrain of this institution, is so much to ask… I don’t know what to do, to get out of here and be happy…

In other news: this is my way of being provocative:

And the way the curtains turn my room orange is quite freaky…

Remember 180 Days of Fangs? They still don’t even know why they’re keeping me here. That’s how every session starts: “Please tell us why you’re here.” Your colleagues are supposed to document why I’m here and you’re supposed to add useful information to that file.

How can they already be thinking of prescribing psychiatric killer drugs to me, while they still don’t know why I’m here? How can they have an opinion about my blog, if they have only read about less than the last 5 days, and I’ve been at it for more than a year? It’s so fucked up when people who don’t understand you, have authority over you. The same goes for my parents…

Sad Catje 🙁 . I really need some passionate kisses 🙁 .

~~~

11:56 (AM) 

I passed out into dreamland a few times more. But I should really get out of bed and eat something… I should also do my laundry soon… I’m almost out of sleepwear (I’m wearing because I have slight mysophobia and wearing something makes me feel as if I’m not able to catch anything from laying in a public bed…)…

Before I drifted off to sleep, I was thinking of why I always have “unapproachable” men and women on my mind… [One of the many reasons why (jealous) proletarians call my ambitions “unrealistic” and “impossible”. But if I could just make a name for myself, I could chill with people with names…]

And that I’m basically in love with someone I’ve spent very little time with. Maybe I’m in love with the idea of the type of relationship we could have? I don’t know if – but do really hope – it could be like that in real life. Finishing each other’s sentences and being all cuddly and stuff, but also able to be very serious and as if we’re not even dating, when we have to. But I fear being yelled at, which often happens in relationships in general, though 🙁 . Then again, I have a strong feeling he really is sweet and wouldn’t treat me like that, because I would never treat him like that… But then again, maybe I should get started with breaking my own heart, because my e-mail address is blocked… But that could also have been someone else’s decision “to help him move on”, blocking my mail address, if he’s in love with me as well… 😻 (& #x1F63B;) In theory, I’m easy to fall in love with…

We’d have to live through a lot of negative judgment, maybe, but we’re doing that already anyway. It would be much nicer to do it together…

Meow my heart is scared of being shattered for the zillionth time thoughhh…

Does the world only consist of people who want me to change my behavior, or are there also some people who understand and appreciate my decisions (and companionship)? I’m worried about my future 🙁 . I can only succeed with those who can understand me…

Meowsss I’m going to brush my teeth and head downstairs… xxx

~~~

16:22 (04:22 PM)

Low key super sad catje 🙁

Slipper swag

Wish I had a reason to smile… And I need prescription shades… Instead of fucking prescription drugs gtfo…

Well I guess I’m going to the mall again, because sitting inside is boring as fuck and I need healthy-ish food…

As I’ve been saying over a year, if I’d be able to buy a house – if only I had a share of family capital – I would not be in this powerless situation. Now death is the only solution I see, because I still have nothing else to talk about, with my mother, and she has the authority to send me here whenever the fuck she wants to, which causes a vicious cycle for me. What if she’s the schizophrenic, for believing I’ll never run my own multinational business? She and others who consider my ambition a symptom of schizophrenia. Do you think putting me away here will change the fact that I want you dead because then you’re off my back?

They will keep trying to put me on the psychiatric drugs one of my doctors in Germany has proven me to be intolerant of. I deserve a trial for this. They just don’t go for it, because they know no lawyer can win the fight against me and LilFangs.com. I don’t have money for a lawyer and my parents are in the other corner of the ring, on this one…

I wish I could just find investors for my multi-component business and have no time for this psychiatric nonsense. They’re the ones giving me the most mental issues anyway. Damn.

Of course not every person who works here is a demon, and not every patient is competent. That is one of the many reasons why I’m pleading for an alteration of the system we’re living in. Sure, I’d love to solve that by talking with people. But some are just too dumb, and that is why I see the flooding of the Netherlands as the best physical solution to this problem.

This all feels kinda Mein Kampf-ish… But in this case, using comparisons like that makes it easier for anyone to understand that the next war in this world will be personality-based. We can’t keep going on like this. The system needs reform. There’s not even time for the “Why?” debate simple-minded people want to hold. The question is whether you dare to give me authority or not…

I wonder if every country in the world has a psychatric industry like this one. And if “psychiatric resorts” with pools and nurses giving you fresh orange juice etc. exist… If yes: please, sign me up… Hahaha…

I’m waiting until my phone is charged a little – because I use my phone quite often… My battery was low after this morning already. When it’s at 25%, I’ll head outside. To buy thights, more short-sleeved clothing, a bottle of water (because I have the feeling there are psychiatric drugs in the food and drinks and stuff here…)… And some food…

~~~

19:37 (07:32 PM)

My Stratagem is still going according to plan, as far as I can guarantee my own safety. I’m showing people all over the world, the flaws of the system in person. The mental prison I’m now in for the second time, I personally find the greatest flaw.

I hope that, somewhere out there, there are people who agree with the fact that I’m much better off starting a new life elsewhere, and that they would like to offer me shelter and support with my endeavor for global change. This is living proof that I’m much better off without those who currently claim my presence. There are people out there wishing to speak to me, and they’re not even getting that chance…

The awful truth:

I’m glad people are anticipating on the pictures I make…

My appetizer…

My main… I still can’t believe they’re so convinced that I have schizophrenia. Echt fucking onzin x_x.

I’m in love… I keep being distracted from sexy fantasies I want to become real, but I’m afraid that the feeling won’t be mutual and my heart will be broken 🙁 :

Recognizable for all Cuddles and Graeynissis I’m around:

De-privatize the health care system bitte:

This Catje is being sexy on my mind all day:

Meoww… As my belly is stuffed, it feels like bed time all over again…

Please think about sheltering me and/or forming an alliance with me and other secret supporters of mine… Please!!! ♥

I love my sexy fantasies the most when it’s bed time 😻

Good night 😘

xxx

Blog, Images, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections

Campaigning D.O.C.I.S…. [Wednesday, May 22, 2019]

02:13 (AM)

Weet je waarom ik eigenlijk niets zei, toen er vragen gesteld konden worden…? Omdat ik anders ruzie zou starten…

Zie dit als een krantenkop: “Een zetel in het Europese Parlement, om daar over niet in het Europese Parlement zitten te praten?”

Wie is dan wie, in de deep-state? I’m still trying to dissolve it…

Ik heb niet genoeg ruimte om dan te zeggen: “De lijsttrekker is niet elke stem in de partij. Als in het gebeurt mede in zijn naam, maar hij gaat daar niet zitten.” Dus het volgende is niet op hem van toepassing:

“Een zetel in het Europese Parlement, om daar over niet in het Europese Parlement zitten te praten?” Waarom ga je daar dan in de eerste instantie heen? Ga dan toch helemaal niet? Het klinkt toch een beetje…. Jaa dom…?

Als de media die discussie daarover begint op een live stream, zou ik iets negatiefs doen tegenover degene die ik juist wil steunen.

Ik moet mijn websites afmaken, maar ik ben moe… Ik heb honger, en zou – later pas terwijl mijn maag nu knort – boodschappen moeten doen, omdat ik, hoewel ik alles dat me eetbaar lijkt, eet, zelfs niet al het verse eten in Nederland, lekker vind… Ah help x_x.

Nexit betekent toch: “Niet naar het buitenland gaan, om over de problemen in je eigen land te discussiëren, en handel op basis van individuele bondgenootschappen, in plaats van vriendjespolitiek.” ¿

Brexit, Nexit, Espexit, Frexit, Itexit, Dexit… That’s it 😀 . #DOCIS…
~~~
10:50 (AM)

Ik werd wakker met twee dilemma’s:

  1. Ik wil zelfmoord plegen, maar mijn moeder is thuis.
  2. Ik probeer te sterven van de honger – want ik wil echt niet naar de supermarkt – maar dat lukt me nooit.

Ik ben de manier waarop ik word behandeld echt ZO FUCKING ZAT.

  1. KANKER DOMME RACISTEN. IK KAN ER HELAAS NIETS AAN DOEN DAT IK IN DIT GAT GEBOREN BEN. DAT KOMT DOOR JULLIE VOOROUDERS.
  2. De mensen die nog steeds denken dat ik zwakbegaafd ben, tegen wie ik beleefd blijf omdat, wanneer ik diegene met eigen handen het leven ontneem, ik zo veel meer haters zal krijgen dat ik nergens meer veilig zal zijn. Ik ben in mijn eigen fucking huis NIET EENS FUCKING VEILIG.

Iedereen kent mij serieus zogenaamd niet? Voor wat er TWEE JAAR GELEDEN gebeurde, was ik al een aardig bekend gezicht. Erna… Jullie publiciteit heeft mijn imago levenslang internationaal beschadigd. Het enige wat ik nog kan doen is ertegenin schreeuwen en laten zien DAT IK TOCH ECHT HELEMAAL ZELF MIJN FUCKING VETERS KAN STRIKKEN. “Pas op de FUCKING GROTE RUIMTE TUSSEN DE DEUR EN WAAR JE NU STAAT.” IK BEN NIET FUCKING BLIND!?! IK WIL JE FUCKING HULP NIET.

MAAR JULLIE ZIJN IN REALITEIT ZELFS OOK NOG EENS TE DOM VOOR MIJ.

De maat is echt vol na meer dan twee uur te hebben GESTAAAAAAAAAAAN. Lil Fangs een stoel aanbieden? Lil Fangs spreektijd geven? Lil Fangs een mail laten sturen naar “Je praat te lang?” Nee. Ik ben de beste schrijfster in de hele fucking wereld, en je weet het.

Ik wil echt nooit meer naar buiten. Ik wil graag geen mensen meer zien, horen en spreken. Ik wil niet meer tot na de verkiezingen wachten, met mijn volgende poging. Weet je hoe erg ik programmeren eigenlijk haat? En waarom probeer ik het eigenlijk nog?

Eenzaamheid is dodelijk.

~~~

11:51 (AM) 

Ik heb echt zin om de hele dag in mijn bed te blijven liggen. Maar dan krijg ik sowieso weer gezeik over dat ik niets doe. Dat incasseren dan maar…

Mijn dilemma is echt grappig. Gewoon die “Wat doe je?”, wanneer ik mezelf probeer te verhangen.

Een akelig feit: het aantal views van deze post is nep. I was so bold to add a 2, when there were 22 views. So now there actually are 38 views, instead of 238. This is, in actuality, not a popular post.

I can never be popular, because I’m consciously using an overly stigmatized name, and after the “”SHE’S MISSING” *”two minutes later”* “SHE’S NOT MISSING ANYMORE””-campaign [comes with the looks…], I became stigmatized as publicity poison. (That’s why I’m very fond of my publicity poison idols. Who are unfortunately breaking my heart with their political distance…)

Ik ga het nog steeds proberen, hoor. Eerst even wachten tot ze weg is. Lig nog steeds in bed. Met dezelfde honger.

~~~

12:51 (PM) 

Dat ik doodga als een soort Rembrandt, doet me het meeste pijn. “Pas ontdekt nadat haar familie haar levenloze lichaam in huis vond.” De haat die ik voel is werkelijk grenzeloos, omdat ik in realiteit niet onbekend ben, maar gewoon genegeerd word.

~~~

13:47 (01:47 PM) 

I don’t want to die not knowing who my biological father is. I know I love him very dearly.

After this painful B situation, the new theories about the deep-state in my life, sound so crazy:

Did I dream that “B’s doppelganger” [my B is the person on the other side of my brain-to-brain communication] attempted to have sex with me in an isolation cell in the police station here, or did that actually happen?

Is it possible that, three years ago, twice there was a different lecturer, who looked a lot like the man I met – together with my mother and a friend of her – last Friday, and that he was there because he loves me so much?

There at two lectures, the office once and the police station after COPS I WANT TO KILL SOOOOOOOO FUCKING BADDDDDDDDDDDD forced me to sip their cup of poisonous shit and put me in an isolation cell, because brain-to-brain communication is still real and in my head I keep telling him that he has very good reasons to just say fuck it and come spend far too much time with me 🙁 .

Ik kan met droge ogen dood willen gaan en traumas herleven, omdat dat altijd al mijn hele leven is geweest. Ik schrijf nog steeds alleen pas in detail over de afgelopen twee jaar. Daarvoor was het niet veel beter. Ik mis mijn opa nog steeds, omdat we zulke goede zakenpartners geweest hadden kunnen zijn 🙁 . En hij was zo lief 🙁 . Mensen met een karakter als dat van hem, zijn bijna uitgestorven 🙁 .

~~~

14:09 (02:09 PM) 

I am now so clueless about who my B is… I’d kill to see those luminescent turquoise eyes again. He’s so tall that without making myself smaller, I can rest my head against his chest…

Sympathize with me on this one:

  • I finished my gymnasium in 7 years.
  • I’m black.
  • I quit the international economics  programme I had been allowed into, after 3 months already.
  • I’m female.
  • I’m tall.
  • My voice is deep but still feminine (it’s my height and that fucking Dutch food).
  • I went missing “for two minutes”.
  • I might be part Italian, which would mean that my last name is very incorrect. Italian people are often discriminated (sometimes in ways worse than black people are treated) in the Netherlands (and still it’s one of the top Dutch holiday locations… Ga jij eens heeeel gauw Nexit…).
  • I live in a white country. In the country where my roots lie, I’m seen as white. Here, “I’m black.”
  • My family will assassinate me, if I tell the truth about them.
  • Because I’m very intelligent, I can’t communicate smoothly with some.
  • My style is too intuitive for some to understand it without an extensive explanation.

Do you understand why I ask for your genuine sympathy?

~~~

14:41 (02:41 PM) 

Here I go again, starting something over “nothing”:


Harassment, de kaboela bus, culture pressure to behave like the flock… There are so many topics I have a very extensive opinion about…
~~~
15:35 (03:35 PM)

Still waiting to hear the alarm system indicate that someone is leaving the house… Then I can at least eat something and smoke “the enemy of the state” indica I bought yesterday.

~~~

15:49 (03:49 PM)

Hear hear…

Finally, it’s time for a peaceful lonely first meal of the day…

~~~

Blog, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Strategy, Videos

Lekker mezelf zijn terwijl die hartverscheurende Cold Case helaas nog steeds niet is afgesloten

– – – – 09/05/’19

Offline

Ik heb me echt lang niet zo vrij gevoeld.

https://lilfangs.com/fangyist-souls

Wat mijn blog content betreft val ik ontzettend in herhaling. Minstens tot en met mijn samenkomst met dr. Crutzen, zal ik daarom offline zijn. Wel zal ik af en toe mijn e-mail checken, dus als je me wil bereiken, kan dat via d.elia@docis.international.

Ik werd zo geconsumeerd door het schrijven om mijn concept en identiteit te definiëren, dat ik vergat dat alles online eigenlijk waardeloos is.

Ik hoop dat de technologie zich zodanig verder zal ontwikkelen, dat het concept van de online persoonlijkheid zal verdwijnen, en het leven zelf een uiterst bovennatuurlijke ervaring wordt. Daar zet ik me voor in.

En voor Cuddles 😀 . Because I love youuu ♥

Ik wil mijn samenkomst met dr. Crutzen sowieso op camera vastleggen. Hopelijk zien jullie vanaf dan (of misschien zelfs eerder al) mijn ware, (monocratische, maar open voor goed advies) gezicht.

Tot snel, mijn lief ♥

– – – – 06/05/’19

De Rest van de Strategie

Het filmpje hierboven is belangrijke uitleg. Verder is, zoals de afgelopen twee jaar, mijn strategie wachten tot ik dr. Crutzen na die ontzettend lange tijd eindelijk mag zien en we verder kunnen praten over hoe we het Stratagem eindelijk in de praktijk kunnen brengen, featuring other Graeynissis 😀 .

Morgen ga ik een nieuw filmpje in het Nederlands maken, tenzij mijn bevrijding vervroegd wordt (is wat ik iedere dag hoop, meer dan de afgelopen twee jaar).

Youtube & korte filmpjes

Mijn publiceren is op dit moment lekker all over the place en hier zijn dus nog wat meer filmpjes die nog niet in dit “artikel” stonden, in semi-publicatievolgorde:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTIpy0GzcuE&t=2342s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE0kGxIXFyE&t=518s

Ik ga nu mijn powerpoint voor mijn praten over de link tussen Fangyisme en D.O.C.I.S. International afmaken, dat filmen en koken. Of mijn filmpje voor of na het eten af is weet ik nog niet… xxx

– – – – 01/05/’19

Instagram

Normaal gesproken deel ik in mijn dagboek dat ik aan het koken ben. Vandaag deed ik dat op Instagram 🙂 . (Beetje beschamend, want het kan natuurlijk niet op tegen al die gelikte kookvideos die je overal kan zien.)

Mid-eating

Ik heb ook een filmpje gedeeld van toen ik piano aan het spelen was & toen ik in de sportschool was.

Mijn hoeveelheid volgers, likes, views et cetera is echt zwaar deprimerend.

– – – – 29/04/’19

Praten tegen een muur

Zo voelt dit. Dit is niet het eind resultaat van mijn werk. Maar dat wist je natuurlijk al, omdat je alles al gelezen hebt :). [Dat was mijn depressie gecombineerd met PTSS die zich uitte in deze sarcastische opmerking die is veroorzaakt door het treurige feit dat iemand die nu pas begint met kijken waar dit allemaal eigenlijk over gaat, zo veel in te halen heeft dat de manier waarop er op deze strategie geanticipeerd zou moeten worden, voor diegene niet 1 2 3 duidelijk is.]

– – – 25/04/’19

Ik wil echt godverdomme uit huis

Het is weer “business as usual”. Het probleem is dat ik dit leven achter me wil laten – inclusief de mensen – maar ik hiervoor het kapitaal niet heb. Ik ga hoe dan ook vandaag weg. Ook al slaap ik weer minstens 3 dagen buiten, net als in 2017. Ik ben zooo klaar met deze man. Echt. Hier eerst een voorproefje.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efTIEZhaOXY&t=35s 

Intussen

Intussen doe ik wat web en social media onderhoud. Ik ben onder andere bezig met het instellen van Push Notificaties, zodat ik binnenkort geen gebruik meer hoef te maken van andere social media. Heb jij het notificatieverzoek al gekregen?

– – – – 23/04/’19

Ik ben moe

Na meer dan een jaar lang continu een lange en diverse reeks aan boeken en blog posts schrijven – die niemand leest – voelen mijn hersenen aan alsof ze het ieder moment kunnen begeven. Ik ben daardoor ook te vermoeid – en pici teleurgesteld – om te denken aan een nieuwe low-budget (door de diversiteit, mijn ongeschooldheid en mijn lage inkomen kan ik geen aanspraak maken op kapitaal) manier om mijn concept te innoveren, omdat dat me weer veel tijd en hersencapaciteit gaat kosten. Daarnaast vind ik dat mijn andere publicaties nog niet genoeg aandacht hebben gekregen voor iets nieuws.

Dus dit artikel zal steeds bovenaan blijven staan, omdat ik de datum zal blijven updaten naar de datum waarop ik een stuk tekst toevoeg 🙂 . Intussen wacht ik ook op de heropening van mijn Cold Case (over mijn vermissing, over de onterechte imagoschade en privacyschending, over de criminele manier waarop de politie me heeft behandeld, over de onterechte diagnose schizofrenie en de hartverscheurende gevolgen daarvan, de manier waarop ik mijn hele leven al financieel aan de grond gehouden word, et cetera), die als het goed is mid-mei plaatsvindt. (Maar intussen heb ik nog steeds geen vast inkomen 🙁 . Ik kan pas echt goed werken wanneer mijn naam gezuiverd is en niet meer als schizofreen word gestigmatiseerd.)

Twitter

@LilFangs_

Sinds de publicatie van dit artikel (de 21ste van de maand April), ben ik zeer actief geweest op Twitter, voor promotie. Ik kon het ook niet laten om me gelijk met allerlei politieke discussies te bemoeien.

Voor het behouden van een uitlaatklep, terwijl ik mijn hersenen wat rust geef en wacht tot mijn publicaties hun welverdiende aandacht hebben gehad (GRRRRR OP MINSTENS DE ZELFDE SCHAAL ALS DIE LEUGEN VAN EEN VERMISSINGSCAMPAGNE), zal ik daar nu wat actiever op zijn.

Het is ook een wat toegankelijkere manier van corresponderen, voor mensen die eerst nog wat meer willen zien voordat ze mijn blog bezoeken.

Solliciteren = huilen

Als ik een euro zou krijgen voor elke keer dat een bedrijf/recruiter/whatever me een, “Probeer het maar ergens anders,” bericht heeft gestuurd, zou ik inmiddels met pensioen kunnen.

En dat terwijl ik eigenlijk absoluut niet in loondienst wil gaan werken. Ik wil graag een baan die bij mijn intelligentie past, maar de meeste banen voor mijn leeftijd en opleidingsniveau, vallen zwaar onder dat niveau.

Het allerliefst zou ik voor vele bedrijven en individuen als een inhuurbare propagandist werken. Met kortetermijncontracten. Maar daarvoor heb ik een netwerk en aanbevelingen nodig, en die heb ik beiden niet 🙁 .

Zoekwoordsuggesties

Indien je/u meer achtergrondinformatie over dit blog wil, raad ik de volgende zoektermen aan: (Door die termen te zoeken, door op de loep rechtsbovenaan het scherm te klikken, vind u/je namelijk een aantal typische Lil Fangs blogberichten.)

  • Schizophrenia / psychotic / psychosis / psychotisch / schizofrenie (= dat ongevraagde wat ik probeer aan te vechten, want ik ben het niet met dat stigma eens)
  • Missing
  • Justice
  • Police
  • Nosce Te Ipsum
  • D.O.C.I.S. International
  • The Head Cuddle / brain-to-brain communication (is hetzelfde, maar The Head Cuddle is mijn zelfverzonnen dialect voor het device)
  • Sea level / water level / zeespiegel
  • My B

– – – 21/04/’19

Ba-dum-tsss

Het grappigste van deze hele website is dat ik mezelf steeds uitdruk in het Engels, terwijl dat mijn eerste taal helemaal niet is. Ik vind gewoon dat de politieke verwevenheid van Nederland in alle andere landen ter wereld gewoon een keer goed onder de loep genomen moet worden (want hier is veeeeel meer aan de hand), en dat we dat moeten gebruiken als het begin van de nu zeer hoog nodige internationale hervorming (een voorbeeld van een internationale connectie is het Nederlands belastingsysteem dat als een mafiabaas is die altijd “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY!?” schreeuwt, zodra je hier een cent verdiend hebt of hier geboren bent, en dat dat echt anders moet [het noemt zichzelf een belastingparadijs (Google het maar: “Nederland belastingparadijs”), maar dat is geen waarheid, maar valse marketing en PR], want dat geld wordt niet goed besteed), en daarvoor wil ik mezelf als uitgangspunt gebruiken, gezien mijn extreem diverse lijst van talenten, aspiraties, gewoontes en wettelijke wensen. Het Engels is een een stuk toegankelijkere taal. (Het wordt meer gesproken, wereldwijd onderwezen en cursussen zijn heeeeel makkelijk te vinden, ongeacht waar je woont. Maar gelukkig kan er ook online vertaald worden – gezien deze post in het Nederlands is – hoewel dat niet altijd even accuraat is.)

Dit is stiekem wel een heel interessant verhaal

Daarnaast zullen veel verschillende mensen zich kunnen herkennen in mijn verhaal. Dat ik bijvoorbeeld zwart ben, maar de Nederlandse nationaliteit mijn enige nationaliteit is, is een lang verhaal dat begint met slavernij, wat ik met vele andere kleurlingen [denk bijvoorbeeld aan African-Americans (die niet weten waar hun voorouders precies vandaan komen 🙁 ) en Nederland dat (slavenkolonie) Nieuw Amsterdam ( = New York) aan de Britten overgaf, in ruil voor Suriname] gemeen heb. Er zijn misschien zelfs meer Surinamers uit Suriname in Nederland, dan er Surinamers in Suriname zijn. Het is niet echt te tellen, want eens was Suriname onderdeel van het Koninkrijk der Nederlanden (tot 1975). En mijn geboorteplaats is Rotterdam. Ik ben, van mijn familie, de derde generatie in Nederland.

“Ojo Lil Fangs is altijd vet onduidelijk waar gaat het nou eigenlijk over ze legt het niet eens uit bla bla bla”

Ik heb deze post gemaakt omdat ik in de stemming ben om mijn gedachten zo puur mogelijk te delen, en die betrekking hebben op zo veel verschillende onderwerpen, dat ik het maar op deze manier ga aanpakken. Ik denk dat het een fijnere gebruikerservaring is, wanneer je niet naar een volgend artikel hoeft door te klikken voor de volgende dag. Vandaar dat het nu één artikel wordt voor alle levensfilosofie en random gedachten, zolang ik nog in deze beroerde situatie leef. Met mijn eigen verdere bezigheden zal ik u wekelijks updaten 🙂 . Ik voeg alles aan deze post toe, tot ik eindelijk gehoor heb gekregen wat betreft mijn cold case. Ik ben geen schizofreen en had die diagnose NOOOOOOOOOOOIT mogen krijgen. (Dat verhaal komt in vrijwel iedere persoonlijke post voor [voorbeeldje] en ik houd er eigenlijk echt niet van om mezelf meer dan twee keer te herhalen omdat mensen de moeite niet willen nemen om te lezen wat ik nog meer heb geschreven. (Zo erg dat ik er pittig fel van kan worden.))

Een beetje respect zou ik wel fijn vinden

Ik wil echt veel liever met “u” aangesproken worden, trouwens. Vooral omdat mensen echt fuuuuucking respectloos zijn tegen mij, en ze dan alsnog fucking respect van mij verwachten!? Ik wil dan dat het de gewoonte wordt om me met “u” aan te spreken, omdat ik in mijn verbale communicatie altijd mijn best doe om lief en respectvol voor iemand te zijn. Plus, ik wil graag wat meer respect voor mijn intelligentie. Vooral van mensen die echt fucking dom én respectloos zijn. Ik doe dit namelijk ook voor hen.

Waarom nog meer Nederland als startpunt?

Publieke stock trading begon met de Nederlandse piraterij en slavernij. De VOC en later ook de WIC. (Voel je vrij om de feiten te controleren door je eigen onderzoek te doen, in case you do not believe me.) Vandaag de dag zijn vele mensenlevens verweven in de aandelenmarkt. (Niet de mijne, in de zin van zelf geen aandelen bezitten. Maar in mijn omgeving hebben ONTZETTENDDDD veel mensen aandelen. En volgens mij zijn de Nederlandse pensioenfondsen nu afhankelijk van bitcoins en wapenhandel. (Dat men überhaupt nog steeds denkt dat een pensioenfonds de verdere vergrijzing aan zal kunnen…… Het is echt tijd voor hervorming.)) Ik heb de correlatie tussen de aandelenmarkt en uitstoot al een aantal keren uitgelegd. En waarom de waarde van geld gebaseerd zou moeten worden op wat er op dit moment in de natuur beschikbaar is ( = niet zo veel). We moeten het gesprek dat werkelijk gevoerd moet worden – dat gesprek waarvoor velen wegdeinzen [haha I see you 🙂 ] – ECHTTTTT NIET langer uit de weg gaan.

Gemeenheid is onderdeel van de Nederlandse cultuur, en dit verspreidt zich over andere culturen, als een soort epidemie. Niet alleen door het piraten- en slavernijverleden (die als “heldendaden” worden gezien). Een ander voorbeeld is dat vele Nederlanders een gesprek beginnen door middel van een belediging.

Gisteren, bijvoorbeeld, toen ik door de supermarkt liep met een trench coat aan, terwijl de rest van de mensen in t-shirts en korte jurkjes enzo rond liep, en ik een verre kennis tegen het lijf liep, was het eerste wat hij tegen me zei, nadat ik hem begroet had met “Hallo” en hem later weer tegen het lijf liep in een ander deel van de winkel, “Je ziet er uit alsof het winter is,” zei. En als ik dan “Hou je bek gewoon als je niks te zeggen hebt, want dit is toch geen manier om een fucking gesprek te starten,” zeg, dan ben ik weer fout. Daarom zei ik: “Het weer kan zomaar omslaan. Ik ben graag voorbereid.” The truth is: gister was het niet zo warm en ik kom de afgelopen twee jaar niet zo vaak buiten, dus de trench coat was een impulsieve keuze, en ik vind een luchtige trench coat aan doen met 23 graden echt niet zo winters. Met die opmerking zeg je indirect dat iemand zich niet normaal gedraagt. Op die manier vind ik het een woordenwisseling die helemaal niet plaats had hoeven vinden. Ik voel me namelijk al kut genoeg zonder die kutopmerking. Voor de gemiddelde Nederlander is een gesprek als in dat voorbeeld normaal. Ik hoop dat ik niet de enige ben die daar een ontzettende bloedhekel aan heeft.

En dan nog niet eens te beginnen over zwarte piet en hoe vaak ik daar niet mee vergeleken ben in mijn jeugd. Fucking walgelijk en barbaars. En de haat die er wordt verspreid door Nederlandse nieuwsmedia en BNners.

Ik vind dat de mensen die niet respectvol met elkaar kunnen omgaan, van elkaar gescheiden moeten worden. Zo kunnen alleen de mensen die met elkaar overweg kunnen, met elkaar samen leven, en is de wereld een een stuk vreedzamere plek. De mensen die ruzie zoeken met alles en iedereen moeten echt verrrrr uit mijn buurt blijven 🙂 . (Dat is maar 1/1000 van mijn hele idee voor maatschappijhervorming.)

Vrolijk Pasen!

Vrolijk Pasen! 🙂

Ik snap niet waarom een moeder besluit om uitgerekend op Eerste Paasdag met één dochter (en haar vriendje) + kennissen naar Spanje te vertrekken (ik zei eerder Portugal, maar het is dus Spanje), en ik nu alleen zal zijn met mijn “vader” en twee oma’s, die niet eens zijn uitgenodigd voor het restaurant diner van vanavond. Een diner samen met andere mensen die “waarschijnlijk” niet eens mijn biologische familie zijn. Snapt iemand anders dit?

Uit solidariteit heb ik wat boodschappen gedaan om morgen een brunch voor te bereiden voor mijn oma’s (alleen dat is “oma” en oma, als mijn “vader” mijn vader niet blijkt te zijn, na een DNA test, die nog steeds uitgevoerd moet worden) en “vader”, morgen.

Eerlijkgezegd zou ik liever bij Benoît of een andere Graeyniss aansluiten vandaag. En morgen. En voor altijd. Cishe :D.

Waarom ik niet mee ben gegaan naar Spanje? Omdat je daar geen kant op kan [ze gaan naar een vakantiehuis (van twee huisjes/huizen) op een heel afgelegen plek], en het vermaak dan aankomt op gesprekskwaliteit, en dan wordt het Suriname all over again ( = net zoals die vakanties daarheen), en dat houd ik niet langer vol dan een paar minuten. Ik word ontzettend snel geïrriteerd wanneer ik een gesprek te oppervlakkig vind, maar probeer dan tegelijkertijd nog beleefd te blijven, en na verloop van tijd gaat dat gewoon mis.

Hier kan ik eindeloos workaholic zijn, naar de sportschool gaan en Graeynissis stalken, en wordt er geen gezelligheid van me verwacht. En een baan zoeken haha meoww I hope I may hug this Vicje :D.

Nog een vraag

Probeert deze persoon hier te zeggen dat ze denkt dat er niet maar één auteur is op deze website? Want dat zou me echt FUCKING PISSIG maken. Ik word er namelijk SCHIJTZIEK van dat mensen me incompetent noemen/vinden. Dat anderen niet in staat zijn zo goed te schrijven als ik (op 22-jarige leeftijd), wil niet zeggen dat ik niet bovennatuurlijk getalenteerd kan zijn. Er is maar één Lil Fangs en ik zal dat dolgraag willen bewijzen en na dat bewezen te hebben het liefst even een beetje frustratie luchten.

Ik heb weliswaar, gezien ik ook de webdeveloper ben van zowel LilFangs.com en Docis.International, voor mezelf, in verband met veiligheidsredenen, een administrator en een editors account aangemaakt, in plaats van alleen een administrators account te gebruiken, maar ik post de laatste tijd blog berichten vanaf beide accounts, dus vandaar dat het kan lijken alsof er meerdere auteurs op dit blog zijn.

Ik ben geen fucking fraudeur en iedereen die dat over mij durft te denken, mag sterven van mij. Waarom tf zou je een hele persoonlijke websites maken met de meest gedetailleerde persoonlijke ervaringen, op de meest hoge frequentie in de geschiedenis van de mensheid, maar dat dan niet eens zelf schrijven? Dat klinkt echt fucking dom.

– – –

De uitgelichte afbeelding is gemaakt door Chevanon Photography, gedownload van Pexels.com

Gekozen omdat ik me (alleen) op LilFangs.com als een vis in het water voel, en omdat Benoît me in brain-to-brain communication pesce noemt en ik hem visje 😀 .

Blog, Ex Animo, Images, MacroFangs, Nosce Te Ipsum, Polls, Popular Posts, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

TWITTER GROUP CHAT LECTURE!!!!!

About what?

From Project Nosce Te Ipsum to the Economics and Law that constitute Planet Fang… I’ll explain E-VE-RY-THING (including my communication strategies) in this group chat!!! 🙂

And you can ask me anything :D. I can also remove you from the chat if you’re not interested (anymore) :).

Please make a Twitter account, if you do not have that 🙂 .

Check out @LilFangs_’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/LilFangs_/status/1122320028848803840?s=09

It’s lit 😀

I just created this poll and wanted to share that with the people I follow on the social network, which caused me to create a group chat.

And now I’ll use it to give lectures about D.O.C.I.S. International [Determined Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem] 🙂 .

The spontaneous fun we could have here makes me want to do nothing else than this 🙂 .

It never ends! 😀

Change of Spontaneous Plans

It will work better on a different platform, with people who already have some background knowledge about my endeavors.

Fangyism
Blog, Drafts, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Reflections

#Fangyism: The Hypothesis [COPYABLE TEXT]

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The Hypothesis

Nosce Te Ipsum I

Book I

Creation

Episode 5

[Finale]

The Hypothesis

By Lil Fangs

The Hypothesis
Nosce Te Ipsum I

Book I, Episode 5

Copyright © 2019 by Fangs (Lil). All rights reserved.

Owning a copy of this book is only possible by buying or downloading it yourself, or by receiving it as a gift. It may not be re-sold.

The content of this book may only be copied, when this book is mentioned as its source.

D.O.C.I.S. International

ISBN: 9789082936889

https://docis.international

https://lilfangs.com

May my alternative approach to global change be accepted.

Many thanks to publicdomainpictures.net, pngimg.com and Pixabay via Pexels.com, for the images the cover is composed of. And thanks to GIMP for making it possible for me to make the cover.

Contents

Preface. 5

Order Aurillu: Strait Pre-Conference. 15

Creation. 58

Order Aurillu: The Hypothesis. 69

Project Nosce Te Ipsum its New Democracy 84

Preface

“____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”1 [Please state an inspirational quote or longer a citation of choice, in the name of your Nosce Te Ipsum Character.]

Between the life you’ve been living this far, my life this far, our futures, the characteristics of the era we live in, and this book, there’s a link. This episode is where it all comes together.

Our planet demands serious drastic change, but the system we have been born into, doesn’t allow for that. D.O.C.I.S. International offers an alternative, based on loopholes in our system.

The previous episodes, the “unpublished” episodes, Volta, all of the diary posts, my regular posts, campaigns, fits of anger and extremely long periods of silence: this is where all pieces of the puzzle, fall into place.

The Nosce Te Ipsum series, is a fill-in-the-gap story, which is also a survey about public opinion, regarding an alternative system of government. It is written in such a way that any episode can be understood, without having read a previous episode.

The non-profit start-up which wants to introduce this alternative system, the international Determined, Observant, Colloquial, Intelligent Stratagem, of which Project Nosce Te Ipsum is its initiative, requires all future members to be in possession of The Nosce Te Ipsum Certificate, to gain access to its Council.

Are you interested in becoming part of a non-profit start-up that searches for solutions to all types of global famine, for damage control strategies to prevent or limit the negative effects of climate change, introduces a new type of democracy and broadcasts new entertainment? “[Positive/Negative] ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”2 [Are you interested in becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International?]

Which aspect of the endeavor is the most attractive to you? “[Solutions to famine/Controlling climate change/A new democracy/New entertainment].” 3 [Which aspect of this endeavor has your preference?]

Why did you choose that aspect? “__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 4 [Why does that aspect have your preference?]

I hope that you will accept the alternative career path that will be based on the way you have filled out the Nosce Te Ipsum series. If becoming part of this alternative start-up sounds appealing to you in the first place.

You must be exposed to people trying to incentivize you to buy, sign and do all kinds of things all of the time, using advertising, mandatory (insurance) payments, influencers, euphemized promises, et cetera, every day, too. I think most people don’t enjoy that, and that this has negatively influenced our overall ability to trust.

It saddens me that it has become a global standard. I wish to introduce a new standard to life, and hope that you will participate in my endeavor.

If you think that I want to take advantage of you in any way, I, with all due respect, have to say that it disappoints me very much to hear that you think that of me. This book is free, because I don’t want the money of someone who would judge me like that.

If you think that I’m writing this to take advantage of you, please stop reading this immediately. Never lay eyes on anything that relates to the aspirations of D.O.C.I.S. International again.

Transparency and trust are very important aspects of my organization. Everything is shared publicly, with the best interests at heart.

But real trust has to come from both ways. I can’t do business with someone who can’t trust me. I can’t trust that person either, then. That is why I recommend those who read this with negative expectations, to resort to a different form of entertainment that suits them better.

If you have continued reading and are open to trusting me, you should know that D.O.C.I.S. International has a lot to offer you. When enough suiting members are found, it can support you better than any government ever has. Project Nosce Te Ipsum is here to establish that, in an alternatively entertaining way.

Valuing entertainment is important for this project, because there is a lot of work that needs to be done and explained. Many topics regarding public opinion have to be scrutinized, before any strategy can be put into practice definitively.

The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning is the title of a research paper that is still being written. It’s also the subtitle of Nosce Te Ipsum II :].

The purposes of that paper are to propose solutions to global famine for all classes, introduce new measures to limit or prevent climate change and introduce a new form of democracy. Its conclusions will be based on The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning, also known as The U.S.H.R., which advocates the independently researched public opinion, formulated by those who have participated in Project Nosce Te Ipsum. By filling out the gaps in this story, you are thus making the world a better place :].

Nosce Te Ipsum I is the survey for my alternative, independent research project, in search of The U.S.H.R., of which Nosce Te Ipsum II is its conclusion.

A solution to global famine, for example, called the Benefit Box (boxes that will be distributed after a charity performance), its contents in adaptation to the area you live in, will be based on the aggregate of whishes you can state in the next chapter.

That everyone’s answers in the Nosce Te Ipsum series, worldwide, are used as our measure (The U.S.H.R.), to satisfy the wants and needs of every acknowledged member, gives you an impression of D.O.C.I.S. International’s alternative democracy.

This episode takes away the suspense built up in previous episodes in the science-fiction part of the series, requests you to state your personal basic needs, hypothesizes your individual U.S.H.R. and gives you an overview of what has happened and what is yet to come, in Project Nosce Te Ipsum and its book series.

Order Aurillu: Strait Pre-Conference

“The effects of our Nectar are starting to decrease. We used it to extract information from you.”

As his words echo through my head, the rolling shutter on the left side of me, opens very slowly. Before he started speaking, everything was pitch black. I can’t tell for how long I’ve been here in the dark…

“You might not be able to tell fiction from reality anymore. The Hallucogenic drug we gave you, lasted for 48 hours. To you, it must have felt like more than 100 years have passed.

We’ve made you visualize a broad range of scenarios, where you were forced to give confidential information.”

My bare heels are against the soft wall. I’m lying on my back, with my arms crossed. I have been trying to uncross them, but I can’t. It’s like they’re stuck to my body.

“Even your subconsciousness refused to cooperate with us. But now your planet risks to be demolished. That is not a nice thought to you, isn’t it? I thus expect your full cooperation.”

Through the tiny gaps of the shutter – now that my eyes got used to the very bright light – I see the planet I own. Planet Fang!

If I can see my beloved planet from a distance, I must be somewhere on Zion Islony, then. To be very honest, I have no clue where I exactly am right now. The night of the Sun Power Ritual, which also took place on the Islony, is the last thing I remember vividly.

“The Unity Conference is in 24 hours… Our usual Sun Power Ritual didn’t go the way we usually do it…”

That’s right. Something happened when The Most Attractive One did her ritual dance. That’s the moment from which everything started to get blurry.

“That’s also why our pre-Conference meeting will not go the way we usually do it.”

All this time, I hear Ήολιε Κητ say all of these things through an intercom, of which the speakers must be placed in the corners of the ceiling, on the right side of me, using a slightly threatening and demanding tone, speaking as if Order Aurillu is not a unity, but his domain. We, the order, rule over the planets, from Zion Islony, the island on top of the Sun.

To Earthlings, this is contemporary science fiction, they say.

72 hours after the Sun Power Ritual – the event where our side of the Galaxy its Sun Power is re-distributed (annually) – The Unity Conference always takes place.

Back in 1984, you, I and the rest of Order Aurillu decided that The Conference in 2019 will be about The Leak.

1984 was the year of the first Unity Conference. It was the year in which all interplanetary wars were ended and Order Aurillu was formed.

You – I always think of You – are the ruler of Planet Earth. I am the ruler of Planet Fang. Ήολιε Κητ is the Ruler of Planet Κητje.

Our Universe consists of those three planets – and the island on top of the Sun, which is the colony where the ruling Gods live, including us.

You and I met when we were very young. Back when our ancestors ruled over the planets in our Universe. Our dorms were next to each other, back in Middle Ruler School, on the Islony.

I knocked on your door once, to ask for a teaspoon of salt. We have been friends ever since.

A couple of years after we first met – while you were in Earth Ruler School, and I was in Fang Ruler School – the interplanetary wars were getting so destructive that it caused “The Leak” – which is a metaphoric name for Sun Lava that risks to leak onto the planets, from the impact of their weaponry and other environmental pollution.

“The Leak” has not manifested itself yet, but from 2019 onwards, the risk could get a lot more serious, is what we discovered in 1984.

What is different from what has been a tradition since 1984, is that usually, 24 hours in advance of The Unity Conference, the Order always meets informally, to go over the contents of our Conference one last time, and spend some quality time together, at a location chosen by one of us.

Every year, someone else picks the location of our informal meeting. Last year it was DeltηPlna, the chairman of our Order, who chose our location. It was here, in the inside the Order’s Κητquarters – which is what the Order’s main office is called. This year, it’s Ήολιε Κητ’s turn to choose.

From the circumstances in which I’m laying here, I think that I’m inside Ήολιε Κητ’s Prispital, inside the Κητquarters.

He has told me that the Prispital is where he temporarily resides the ruling assistants, who are suffering from mental distress, for them to receive coaching that will get them back on track.

Last year’s rumors, however, were that the Prispital is where he tortures his political opponents. When he is done extracting information from them, they are replaced by a clone, and never seen or heard again. Our independent council, run by DeltηPlna, had never been able to confirm or deny the rumors.

“Our chairman agrees with me that I should continue to try to take… Oh, I mean… That I should take full control over our entire Universe. After what happened to your planets, we doubt if you are fit to rule…”

We have become living proof of the awful ways in which Ήολιε Κητ mentally takes advantage of people. Planet Fang and Planet Earth were the most prosperous they have ever been, on the day of the Sun Power Ritual. Of course we are fit to rule!

From the way he struggled with the word try, it seems like he’s attempting to come off more self-confident and prepared than he actually is. Our chairman is supposed to be impartial, is what we agreed on, when we funded the order. But now that the decisive moments regarding The Leak are not at all far ahead of us, the deep state within our Order, is revealing itself.

“In two minutes, your cell will open, and you will have to give us your course for after The Leak is over.”

Why after The Leak, if we, in 1984, agreed on discussing the solution to preclude the phenomenon itself, because if it happens, we all might not even survive?

I’m wearing a white strait jacket, as I lay in my extremely cramped – so cramped that there is no way that I could lay down straight – isolation cell. The floor, three walls and ceiling are all made of silk white cushions.

The ground to ceiling sized window to the left of me, with the thickest glass I’ve ever seen, its rolling stutter, is now fully opened.

“Your planet will be put on ration, when time is unfrozen. Your first task is to decide what is included in the ration they will have to split with Planet Earth.”

Unfrozen… The white tentacle shaped light rays that puncture my planet, keep my citizens frozen in time, I reason out by looking through the large window. The beams originate from the Sun. Someone has been messing around with the basic settings of my Planet…

I’ve trusted Ήολιε Κητ for so many years. This is a completely different side of him, I have never seen before.

My stress is now mixed with anger. But my body feels fear, when I think of expressing my rage. As if it could get me killed. It seems like my life is in the hands of an enemy, who I’ve considered my friend.

The wall made of cushions, to my right, is moved sloping towards the floor. Like a plane’s tailgate. I’m quite glad that I’m not leaning against it, because I’m wearing a strait jacket, and it would be hard to get up, if I were leaning against that wall that is suddenly descending towards the ground.

When Ήολιε Κητ heisted the Sun Power Ritual – our annual tradition, where the Sun Power, which is the shared valuta of Planet Earth and Planet Fang, is reaccumulated and divided over its citizens – you and I were taken captive against our will(s).

During the Ritual Dance of The Most Attractive One, we somehow became paralyzed. That is when Ήολιε Κητ harmed The Most Attractive One – the ambassador of The Sun Power System – and his men blindfolded and captivated us.

I could hear you close to me, until we were taken out of his SpaceVan.

All I remember after that, is the sting of a needle, in my right butt cheek, followed by something I experienced as a series of vivid nightmares, and a vision of someone who looked like me, called Lil Fangs. That must have been the Hallucogenic drug and its side-effects. (Our exact experiences thereof, are the contents of the previous episodes of this series.)

Again, my eyes had to adjust to light. Coming from the right side of me, this time. The soft, quilted wall has fully descended to the ground. The oasis of light that came from behind it, reveals an extension of my cell.

Like puzzle pieces, the tilted, quilted wall, fits the similarly designed floor that makes up the enlargement of my cell. At the end of it, a grey, diamond tufted wing chair, which hovers above the ground, with a light blue light coming from underneath it, is facing me. In front of tinted glass, with the round grey surface with holes in it, of a built-in microphone.

I lift my heels off the wall and swing my legs towards the ground, while I curl them. The momentum of my movement, I use to stand up. I’m limited in my movement, because of the stupid strait jacket I have been wrapped into.

As I walk closer to the tinted glass, I see Ήολιε Κητ pace back and forth on a low pace, in an oval shaped room, with a floor of white glass and a ceiling of hovering white cubes that shine brightly. He has his hands behind his back.

There are a dozen black tinted windows, separated by columns. I wonder who else, of our Order, is part of the deep state, and who else is held captive here.

“Please, take a seat,” Ήολιε Κητ says, as he nonchalantly points his hand towards my window, in the direction of the seating surface of my hovering chair, with his palm facing upwards.

His irises go from turquoise to red, when our eyes meet for a split second. He twirls around in one motion, making the same gesture to the other cells, by taking a step back with one foot, and using that to pivot.

Red irises mean that he is looking through objects. Gods from Planet Κητje can use their eyes like multifunctional spy goggles. The color indicates its mode. Yellow, for example, means that his eyes are in heat seeking mode.

I can’t see who are in the cells, and which ones are occupied in the first place. But the left one, in the left extreme of the oval room he is in, is clearly empty. The tinted glass is shoved upwards automatically, into the ceiling, and a hovering grey chair flies towards him.

When I turn around and sit down in my chair, automatically, it turns 180 degrees, to let me face the window adjacent to the oval room, again.

Ήολιε Κητ is sitting in a chair of the same design, with his right ankle on his left thigh. With his right hand, he grasps his knee and with his left hand, he’s playing with his chin and bottom lip, while leaning his left elbow on one of the broad armrests.

“It was my time to choose our pre-Conference location again, this year. So, welcome to the Prispital.” There is a combination of gentleness and bitterness in his tone.

“If I’m very honest, I did not intend my heist of the popular Sun Power Ritual, to turn into this.

In my original plan, I would gain absolute power over our entire Universe, by literally absorbing all of The Most Attractive One’s Sun Power, and then have your citizens subject themselves to my power, by introducing them to my policy of eternal feasting, forever increasing wealth and no more indirectly mandatory labor. You should have become obsolete and be replaced by a clone.

I’ve absorbed all of the Sun Power – as you have seen – but your citizens refused to live under my authority. Not long after I announced my absolute power, they started to do barbarous things, such as demonstrating and looting. We’re not used to such things on Planet Κητje, so I declared war to Planet Earth and Planet Fang, by means of stopping its citizens from wildly expressing their disapproval of my regime. That was about 48 hours ago.”

While he speaks, he flutters around the room in his flying chair. The microphone attached to his silk grey suit jacket, transfers his words straight to the intercom speakers in my cell.

“To my surprise, the declaration made your citizens’ resistance way worse. So by means of expressing my severity, even though warfare was not part of my initial plan, we bombed Planet Fang’s main interplanetary TV station.

Apparently, that station has many of your citizens addicted to its programs. The situation was getting far out of hand, when the intensity of the anger of both Fang and Earth people got so intense that their rage was not only directed at me anymore. They started to become mad at each other, for being mad. Even on my own planet.

I figured that if I restore the TV station, take away the advertising and declare peace on the main channel (FangTV), the calm would be restored and I could pursue the rest of my agenda as a ruler. But that was when the catastrophe reached its peak.

My PR team and I decided that it would make me more likable to the public, if I, instead of my usual “audio combined with large on-screen text” TV appearances, show them my speech and myself in video format.”

Suddenly, he stops hovering around and his stare becomes blank, directed to the ground. His irises turn turquoise again.

“I started off with saying that we should love each other, instead of acting so barbarous all of the time. And that my declared peace would initiate that. It was broadcasted from our Κητquarters and also aired on big screens on popular squares, throughout our entire Universe. Some people received my initial words with cheers and tears of joy.

I then said that we will have to work together, to deal with the consequences of The Leak, which will manifest itself any moment this week, due to my bombing. And that Planet Earth and Planet Fang its rulers are not rulers, but bad cowards who have ran away from their responsibilities. I said that because I wanted to keep my new power. It made my audience fall silent.

I wished them best of luck with controlling The Leak, showed them a countdown clock with how much time they have left until it happens and wrapped up my speech. Only on my Planet Κητje, all news was taken positively.

Planet Earth and Planet Fang were so outraged that I had to hack the Sun, to freeze all Planets in time. The confusion and chaos were unstoppable. It spread like an epidemic.

They were all screaming things about that solving The Leak was my responsibility, that if the rulers were missing, they could still come back and that they couldn’t understand how a man can have a face that is 50% cat’s features…” He lifts his eyebrows, which gives his blank stare an impression of in how much trouble he is, and wiggles his tiny pink nose. His whiskers wiggle along.

Quickly, he shakes his head. His facial expression is very serious, now. Still hovering still, in front of the door the chair came out of.

“The way your citizens have treated me, have made me bitter. So I wouldn’t care that much if The Leak destroys their habitat. But solving this situation and winning their hearts still is my preference.

The countdown clock stands still, as The Planets stand still, because so does their emission and pollution. So, in theory, we have more than 24 hours to solve this…”

“Did you really just say “we”!?” I couldn’t help but let go. Ήολιε Κητ rapidly turns his head towards me and jumps out of his chair. His irises turn red again. The tinted window turns purple, when I hear the sound of my own words, through the intercom, and then turns black again, to indicate the other captives from which cell the sound comes.

“If it isn’t Planet Fang’s Old Fangs. Of course I say “we”…” He says, while he takes big but careful steps towards me, with his hands behind his back.

“You live under my authority, now. If you want YOUR planet to stay in existence AND IF YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE, THEN YOU BETTER COOPERATE!!!”

He loses his temper, as he accentuates his words by tapping his fingers against the double glass of my cell so hard that a small crack is formed. His fangs lengthened during his exclamation and his venom induced saliva drips down my window he is now standing so close to, that condensation is formed on my window, by his breath.

He has become so resentful so fast. I wonder what has incentivized him to suddenly be so extremely power hungry.

It’s very frustrating to me, to have to clean up his mess and still be separated from my Planet. Now that I’m living in his trap, I have no other choice but to (at least act as if I’ll) obey him. I know how easily he can kill people without any regret.

He looks down at me, with his piercing gaze. Even though I hate to do it, I nod at him and stay silent.

After taking a short moment to breathe in and out and regain his temper, he turns around and continues.

“It is my intention to extend the time the planets have left, by putting everyone on ration, including you,” he waves his arm around in a way that indicates that he means his captives. “This is indisputable. Meanwhile, Old Fangs will be tasked with giving us a solution to The Leak, and Earth’s former Ruler ______________________________________5 [What is your Ruler’s alias throughout this series?] will be tasked with renewing the rest of our policy. The rest of you followers will have to adapt to whatever they reason out to solve my issue.

This will be announced within 24 hours, when we hold The Unity Conference, where we announce the new policy in my name, and tell our citizens that you are all not fit to rule anymore, due to mental health issues. This is also indisputable.”

He folds his hands together, without crossing his fingers. Something that looks like a smile, shows on his face.

While the window to the far right of me opens into the ceiling, and a small hallway shows, he says: “Everyone, except the former rulers, can proceed to your new residency.”

He directs his arm towards the accessible hallway, and all other windows open in the same way, except the one across me. Some people try to stand up, while we all realize that we are stuck to the chairs. As if there’s super glue on them.

“No time for chit chat, so don’t think of exchanging words in my presence. If you are looking for familiar faces you don’t see, here: they have either deserted to my camp, they’re held captive on my Planet, or they’re dead.”

I see key figures from both of our governments hover to the hallway, in a row. Each one wearing a strait jacket. My Ecologicus, Economicus, Strategicus and Technicus are in those chairs.

Your [Assessor (Head of Planetary Maintenance)/Cultor (Head of Media, Culture and Education)/Ecologicus (Head of Ecology)/Economicus (Head of Tangible Finance)/ Fiscus (Head of Intangible Finance)/Iustus (Head of Law)/Strategicus (Head of Strategy)/Technicus (Head of Technological Policy)]6 [Please choose four D.O.C.I.S. International-style government functions from this summation that interest you the most.] exited before them.

From Planet Κητje, only his Ecologicus were present.

Our windows open and our chairs hover towards each other. Ήολιε Κητ, who was standing right in between us, takes a big step to the right and faces us. I can’t help but show a little happiness on my face, when I see you in front of me.

Only you, I would want to be stuck with, in a situation like this. We’re such a good team! If we tackle this strategically enough, we might just make it out alive…

Then our chairs turn towards Ήολιε Κητ. Aside from his extraordinary height, this has been the first time that I feel that he really looks down on us. After all of the years that we’ve known him.

“We’re going to use Zion Islony’s 3D printer to print a ration to provide the citizens of our Planets with, now that The Leak is due in a week and the rebellion has stripped the Milky Κητ Universe of almost all of its resources.”

Yesss… Due to Ήολιε Κητs bombing on The Planet Fang’s Main Interplanetary TV Station. He told me just a few minutes ago x_x.

I’ve never had to put so much effort into attempting to keep my fangs in check. If I lose my temper, I risk being assassinated.

Even though there’s a risk involved, we need to find a way to escape the Prispital and regain stability in our Universe.

“I can’t be an absolute ruler and the absolute owner of a TV tower at the same time, and I hate television, so you will be in charge of interplanetary broadcasts 24/7. But you use the themes I give you and do not dare to say that I am holding you captive in the Prispital, or I will give this task to someone else and you will leave this vicinity in a body bag.”

To have become a victim of Ήολιε Κητs injustice, causes distress. But I must say that hosting TV with you does sound like a fun…

“Your first broadcast will be tonight, with an alternative show for The Unity Conference. You will have to present your Planet its rations. I want it to be something sexy. I will also announce that I’ve given you a new job, now that you have become “unfit to rule”.” He accentuates his last three words by moving his fingers up and down, resembling quotation marks, with an evil smirk on his face. We look at him in complete silence, with facial expressions that don’t reveal our true emotions.

“I will seal my new regime, by becoming my own spin doctor. With the broadcasts, we will indirectly be reprogramming the public memory I accidentally deleted.

That is why you will also have to share some common knowledge, in our first broadcast. I will be studying and judging it to become a better populist, but I’ll say that it’s my personal consumer’s research, now that I got rid of my Economicus and Fiscus.”

I see. Escaping will be easy. Populism has been powerful in the past few eras, but I have been thinking that we’ve had enough of that anyway. It’s so neglectful towards the problems our Universe knows.

The combination of truth and innovation – something that is in Ήολιε Κητs disadvantage in every way possible – is our strength. If we can prove his misbehavior, our safety is guaranteed, when we’re out of here and live among our own kind, under our own management. The TV station gives us the perfect opportunity for that.

The only other strategic challenge left will then be escaping the Prispital, without encountering any of Ήολιε Κητs henchmen.

“For tonight’s show, you need to quickly tell me what essentials would be suitable for the ration. I will leave one of the best impressions ever, if I surprise my citizens with having my solutions earlier than expected, instead of leaving them to rot, like I also considered doing.”

The chair he was sitting in, which hovered behind us, swiftly passes us and offers him to sit in front of us. From his armrest, a clipboard with a fountain pen attached to it, rise up. As he sits down, his snatches it with his right arm.

“Since you are not able to write right now…” With his free hand, he points at our strait jackets and smiles. “I will do the honors.” He quickly analyzes the papers on the clipboard, then checks his silver watch, with a serious expression on his face.

“Okay, I’m going to ask you some survival ration related questions. I want quick and simple answers, because I want to have dinner soon. To speed things up, you answer the same question after each other.

Every citizen of your planet, will receive a ration package with clothing, food and some tools. Your focus will lie on the main country of your Planet.”

(In a non-science-fiction context, you should fill this out for your country of residence. If you were born elsewhere, it would be highly appreciated if you would mention your thoughts on essentials for that country as well.)

“Starting with you, ___________________________5: What is the most serious weather condition your main country knows, in your opinion? And why?”

“[Extreme heat/extreme cold/rain/snow/other] ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”7 [What are your most severe weather conditions? Multiple ones may be selected. Please place them in the order from most severe to least severe.]

Ήολιε Κητ promptly scribbles along.

“And for you, Old Fangs?”

“It’s rain. The waterworks my ancestors have built for the country Cuddle, are not resistant to too much of it. It was built below sea level. There are blueprints to fully replace it, though.”

“Name five colors that will represent your Planet under a new regime.”

“________________________________________________________________________.” 8 [Name five colors which will represent your planet. These colors will also be used in your personalized theme.]

“Black, purple, grey, yellow and burgundy.”

“Name a traditional dinner dish you would make most people in your country, including yourself, happy with. And state its ingredients.”

“______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”9

“Cuddle Soup. It contains tofu, cod or chicken, depending on the preferred diet of my citizen,”

“No, my citizen,” Ήολιε Κητ corrects me.

“Of course, your citizen,” my face shows slight bitterness. “The other ingredients are xanthosoma sagittifolium, cassava, tomatoes, unions, unchopped Madame Jeanette chili peppers, coconut milk, vegetable stock and rice.”

“Name five ingredients which could be used for a meal for any purpose.”

“_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”10

“Flour, milk, plantain, eggs and spinach.”

“Name three spices.”

“______________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”11

“Thyme, cinnamon and cardamom.”

“Name three edible things you would like to harvest.”

“______________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”12

“Mangoes, walnuts and soy beans.”

“Name three things you would recommend as entertainment, if the internet and electricity were out of use.”

“___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.”13

“Writing with pen and paper, playing card games and playing basketball.”

Loosely curling his wrist, he puts his last words on paper.

“That was it. You will be called for your broadcast, later. Thank you…” He suddenly looks at us with so much love in facial expression. As if he’s just not himself, now, or as if he, too, has become a pawn of someone else.

His chair moves aside. Your chair hovers you into the hallway first. I’m right behind you.

Creation

You are reading the final episode of the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series: Creation. It has indirectly shown you several forms of creation, regarding Project Nosce Te Ipsum.

In the development of the project and its book series, many choices have been made, with a certain strategy in mind. This chapter serves as an overview of all components of the entire first book of the series.

Creation of the Nosce Te Ipsum strategy

“Know thyself” is the theme of D.O.C.I.S. International’s initial project. Character and beauty standards, career requirements and cultural standards, induce us to conceal the uniqueness of our individuality. On top of that, our profit-based financial system’s merit depends on the way your individuality is influenced.

In our globalized world, public opinion is shaped by media, public relations and marketing strategies, I personally observe.

The media state their judgment of a phenomenon or individual, their propagations are considered fact-based, and the public blindly follows it. The same goes for the process of deciding what products or stock to buy.

This inequality, I consider one of the causes of famine: smaller parties (farmers, shop owners, artists, et cetera) do not get the chance to stand out. Meanwhile, mass production destroys Earth’s natural ecosystems.

I want to introduce a sustainable, non-profit financial system, as part of the new democracy. Its reward system will be based on participation, instead of prediction.

But to be sure that my policies are acceptable, I need to independently learn what real public opinion is. The public opinion that is natural, instead of influenced, is what I seek with this.

If the survey of this project was published like a regular survey, or was translated into a non-science fiction context, it is far easier to mold influenced standards into an answer. That is not my interest. I want to see the uniqueness, honesty and purity of people. Uninfluenced.

Those who are willing and able to reason independently, are the people I want to work together with.

Making serious positive changes in life should be fun and approachable to all. My current approach – the book series – is a way to reach a large audience and facilitate this, within the boundaries of the budget that I’m on.

After The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning – independent public opinion, thus – is found, that frame of reference will be used to check the policies for this organization, which are currently on the drawing table.

Because of this, there are some questions I also really want to ask you:

If you become part of D.O.C.I.S. International, would you be interested in moving to a compound where other members (who think the same as you) live?

“[Positive/Negative] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”14 (Regardless of the costs, would you be interested in living on a compound owned by D.O.C.I.S. International? Please explain your answer.)

Do you prefer to have a local, international or intercontinental occupation? “[local/international/intercontinental] _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”15

Would you be interested in a unique citizenship, as part of this organization? “[Positive/negative] _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________”16

Now that the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series is finished, my small general portfolio of the services and the endeavor of D.O.C.I.S. International, is finished. The time has come to seek sponsors.

The audience and the project should be expanded. I want to do this by creating a campaign project for it, and making the survey a social interaction game, instead of something that only exists on paper.

If you’re interested in reading more about my strategy and campaign, I would like to refer you to https://lilfangs.com/d-o-c-i-s-internationals-business-overture.

Creation of the story concept

The Nosce Te Ipsum series have a satiric character. Common hierarchical routines from our era, relive in the story its unrestrained science fiction context.

It is my way of trying to start a conversation about the topics in life that are not getting enough attention, because its situations have become so irreversibly severe that the only way to solve it, is to completely change life as we know it.

Not everyone is overly excited to let go of his or her habitual activities. Luckily I am, and this is my way of easing you into the same thing. In the (near) future, drastic change really is inevitable.

Scrutinizing every individual in a position of power, to expose and dissolve the deep state, and see who is using it to contribute to society and who isn’t, is inevitable, too, in my perspective.

Nature will not endure this fraud forever. Especially when you look at how little time is left until the dykes of the artificially created Netherlands – where I live and was born – will be overpowered by water, due to our own pollution and the fact that it is artificial land in the first place.

In Nosce Te Ipsum, you have full control over planet Earth. You’re allowed to make the decisions that determine the lives of your citizens. The way you might be doing now, or the way other people are doing this to you.

When you have completed the fill-in-the-gap story, you, like a real Ruler, will have a sharable memory of your own creation theory, a detailed report of your idea of the best way to govern society, a description of your personality, everything about the way you love and a definition of your contribution to the official constitution of D.O.C.I.S. International. It will be your fully personalized Nosce Te Ipsum II!

Everything about what is up next, can be found on this page: https://lilfangs.com/project-nosce-te-ipsum.

Order Aurillu: The Hypothesis

Two white double doors open and a lady dressed in red ____________________________________________________________________________ 17 [What is she wearing?] enters your Prispital apartment that has been locked from the outside, since the moment you were hovered into it, about a day ago.

You know it’s locked, because you attempted to leave, when _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 18 [By means of adding to your personalized story in this story, please write down a fictional incentive for you to attempt to leave your fictive apartment].

Holding a HoloPad (the future’s tablet) in her left hand, she walks up to you, as you ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 19 [Where of your apartment are you? What are you doing?] and sticks out her hand, to shake yours.

You

  1. A) shake her hand.
  2. B) don’t shake her hand.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

20 [Do you choose A or B? Why?]

If you’ve chosen A

“I’m very pleased to meet you, sir/madam 21A [What gender do you prefer to be addressed with?] Ruler. My name is _______________________ 22A [What’s her name?]. I used to be the program director of FangTV, before Ήολιε Κητ started to act crazy. I’m here to go over tonight’s broadcast with you.”

“_______________________________________________________________________________________________________” 23A [How do you respond to this?]

If you’ve chosen B

“_______________________ 22B [What’s her name?]. I’m here to go over tonight’s broadcast with you, sir/madam 21B [What gender do you prefer to be addressed with?]. I used to be the program director of FangTV, before Ήολιε Κητ started to act crazy.

  1. A) Say: “Sorry, I thought that you were one of those traitors. _______________________________________________________________” and still shake her hand.
  2. B) Still ignore her hand.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________23B [A or B? Why?]

The general story continues here.

“Wearing clothes that are mainly designed against the negative effects of ______________________ 7 [What weather circumstance(s)?], you will share your perspective of the four aspects of life. Is it correct that you are already familiar with the aspects, the way they are defined in Fangyism?”

“Yes, that is correct. They are Creation, Society, The Self and Love,” you reply _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 24 [What mood does your reply have? Why? Will you stay in the same position, or have this conversation in a different place in your apartment? Will you offer her any food or drinks? Does she accept you food and/or drinks, if you offer it?]

“By means of quick preparation, I’m going to ask you questions about the topics you, when we’re live, will have to speak of, without being asked about it. We start off with Creation.

Do you believe that God [____________] and/or The Universe 25 [Which do you use to reference spiritual guidance that goes beyond human abilities? What is your God named?] can purposely harm its life on Earth?”

“[Positive/Negative] _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 26 [What is your answer to the question?]

_______________________ 22 [The name you’ve given] types every word you say, out on her HoloPad.

“Thank you. That was all for that topic. Now Society,” she says, tapping the Pad a few times. New questions pop up on it. “Should policymakers be elected by the general public, by former policymakers, or by an independent collective of people, who are elected by the general public, to elect policymakers?”

“Policymakers should be elected by [the general public/former policymakers/an independent collective of people, who are elected by the general public, to elect policymakers] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 27 [Which option has your preference? Why?]

“What type of elections for policymakers do you think your citizens prefer?”

“I think my citizens prefer [the general public/former policymakers/an independent collective of people, who are elected by the general public, to elect policymakers]. __________________________________________________________________________________________” 28 [Which one do you hypothesize? Do you have any comments on that statement?]

“Which statement do you prefer: “Someone who is specialized in making political decisions should have the final say, regarding a new policy” or “Someone who is specialized in the field the policy is about, should have the final say, regarding the new policy”?”

“I prefer [the first statement/the second statement] _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 29 [Which statement do you prefer? Why?]

“Thank you for your answers. I’m moving on to The Self now.

I’m going to name a few characteristics. My question for you is to choose three that suit you best in your current state, including your reasons why.

The characteristics are: optimist, realist, extravert, introvert, thinker, doer, leader, teacher, operator, calm, energetic, unpredictable.”

“[Optimist/realist, extravert/introvert, thinker/doer, leader/teacher/operator, calm/energetic/unpredictable] ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 30 [Which would you choose and why?]

“Now there are two questions left. They’re from the Love category.

Are you positive about love?”

“[Yes/No]____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 31 [Are you? Why?]

“When do you know when you really love someone?”

“_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________” 32 [When do you know? Why?]

A few hours after _________________ 22’s visit, a flying silver suitcase enters your apartment. It opens itself on the _______________. 33 [Where in your apartment does the suitcase open?]

In it, there are ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 34 [What does you ration outfit look like? What does it look like on you? What are you going to do to kill time until the broadcast?]

19:45 / 07:45 PM sharp, _________________ 22 arrives in a hovering golf cart, to bring you to the new TV station inside the Κητquarters.

It’s the fastest hovering golf cart ever. You dash past other Prispital apartments and cells. You see that there’s a Prispital gym and that there’s an indoor Prispital park.

Then, you approach a gate that seems as high as dozens of those golf carts stacked on top of each other.

“Before we leave the Prispital, to enter the TV station,” she says, while the cart straps belts around both of you, which prevents you from exiting it. “You should know that they have made an evil clone of you. You’re invited to the Station, for a set of pictures of you presenting the ration. Meanwhile, your clone will teach your citizens the exact opposite of what you have just said. They’re doing the same to Old Fangs.

It’s terrible, I know, but if you obey, you can gain a lot of privileges. I made that decision, and it feels like I’m almost free.

If you don’t obey at this broadcast, Ήολιε Κητ could destroy your Planet, without even hesitating.”

You will

  1. A) Sabotage the broadcast, with the risk of destroying your entire Planet, but being certain of your citizens knowing who you really are. If your Planet is destroyed, depending on your choices, you will either get a new Planet or definitively retire from your life as a Ruler.
  2. B) Obey, which will cause your citizens to be turned against you, but you will have more time to find a way to save their habitat. Success is not guaranteed. 35 [A or B?]

To be continued…

Project Nosce Te Ipsum its New Democracy

The individual decides the policy. Not “his or her representative”. That is what characterizes D.O.C.I.S. International’s policy.

The questions in the series might seem very random, but your answers have a great meaning to our future. Your perspective co-decides The U.S.H.R.!

Become an official participant in Project Nosce Te Ipsum, by signing up here: https://docis.international/project-nosce-te-ipsum.

MEANWHILE: “Lekker mezelf zijn terwijl die hartverscheurende Cold Case helaas nog steeds niet is afgesloten”

COLD CASE 25

Lil Fangs
Art, Audio, Blog, Donation Forms, Ex Animo, Images, Interest & Money in Perspective, Interviews, MacroFangs, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Polls, Popular Posts, Random questions, Random Thoughts, Recipes, Reflections, The General Theory of Employment, Tips, Uncategorized, Videos

Dominique Daniëlle Elia CV (curriculum vitae) in het Nederlands

Dominique Daniëlle Elia

Praesens (D.O.C.I.S. International)

 

Algemene persoonsgegevens

Geboortedatum: 1 november 1996 (22 jaar)

Geboorteplaats: Rotterdam

E-mailadres: d.danielle.elia@gmail.com (persoonlijk)

Adres: XXXXXXXXXX Capelle aan den IJssel

 

Persoonlijke doelen

Langetermijndoel

Op de lange termijn wil ik, door middel van het combineren van wiskundige, economische, wettelijke en didactische kennis, graag bijdragen aan de hervorming van het internationaal politiek-economisch systeem, met een (nog) sterke(re) nadruk op duurzaamheid. Dit of via het bedrijfsleven, of via de politiek zelf.

Korte termijn doelen

  • (Minstens) mijn bachelor in de wiskunde behalen.
  • Lang genoeg werkervaring opdoen om officieel aantoonbaar op hoger dan junior-niveau te kunnen presteren.
  • Mijn netwerk uitbreiden ten gunste van mijn langetermijndoel.
  • Een nieuwe strategie uitdenken om als zelfstandige dichter bij mijn langetermijndoel te kunnen komen.

Educatie

Diploma’s

  • Marnix Gymnasium: Gymnasium

Behaald in 2016

Profielkeuze: Economie & Maatschappij met Duits, Latijn, wiskunde B en informatica

  • The Open University: Open Bachelor’s Degree

Nog niet behaald

Georiënteerd op (Financiële) Wiskunde

Certificaten

  • British Council
    • Cambridge First Certificate English
  • European Piano Teachers Association
    • Niveau C2
  • Basis Flight Simulator certificaat

Werkervaring

  • Neridus-IT: Boekhoudassistente

augustus 2013 – september 2016

Het bijhouden van de financiële bewijsstukken (zowel digitaal als fysiek) en de financiële correspondentie tussen het bedrijf en het (uitbestede) accountantskantoor.

  • Zowel Delfshaven: Financieel hulpverlener (vrijwilliger)

juni 2016 – september 2016

Het ordenen van de administratie, opstellen van persoonlijke budgetten, inlichten en aanvragen voorbereiden, van mensen met financiële problemen in de regio Delfshaven, in een bijstands- en/of schuldsaneringstraject.

  • Elia PR: PR consultant (zelfstandige)

september 2016 – december 2017

Het ontwikkelen van PR strategieën en campagneconcepten voor individuen, op basis van de technieken van de grondleggers van de PR, in een uiterst alternatief, modern jasje.

  • D.O.C.I.S. International: Auteur, onderzoeker, (PR) strateeg en webdeveloper (zelfstandige)

juli 2018 – heden

Het ontwikkelen van een onderzoeksproject met toekomstige bestuursuitbreiding, aansluitend op mijn langetermijndoel, door middel van een invulverhalenserie (om zo te beginnen met een consumentenonderzoek dat uiteindelijk aanduidt aan welke eisen de internationale gemeenschap wil dat een revolutionair politiek-economisch systeem voldoet). Dit concept is echter nog niet officieel aan de man gebracht en dient op dit moment meer als een hobby waarmee ik ook een zakcentje verdien.

  • ANWB: Telefonisch hulpverlener

augustus 2018 – september 2018

Zomerkracht op de afdeling gespecialiseerd in de internationale voorziening van huurauto’s voor mensen die pech hebben gehad onderweg, maar toch hun vakantie willen voortzetten.

Overige (Informele) Ervaring

  • Ervaring met koken

Ik sta al van jongs af aan in de keuken, ken veel diverse kooktechnieken en smaakcombinaties uit keukens uit vele verschillende landen (met name Suriname, Nederland, Italië, Frankrijk en India), ontwikkel zeer regelmatig mijn eigen recepten (want ik hou van gevarieerd eten) en kook ook regelmatig driegangendiners voor groepen van 5 tot 10 mensen.

  • Ervaring met lesgeven

Over lesgeven (en spreken voor publiek) ben ik zeer gepassioneerd. Ik heb in veel verschillende disciplines (bij)les gegeven, waaronder: wiskunde, economie, PWSsen schrijven, piano spelen, vechttechnieken, basketbaltechnieken, koken, Engels, Nederlands en omgaan met telefoons en computers.

  • Ervaring als model

Van kleins af aan doe ik af en toe modellenwerk op aanvraag of voor eigen bedrijfsdoeleinden.

  • Ervaring als actrice/figurant
    • Acteren vind ik ook ontzettend leuk. Ik heb hier een beetje ervaring mee (door school, dansoptredens en sketches met mede hobby video sketch makers.)

Publicaties

Boeken

ISBN: 9789082936803

Gepubliceerd op 24 september 2018

Een heruitgave van episodes over mijn onderzoeksproject en science-fiction verhaal die ik eerder had gepubliceerd, maar later van het internet af had gehaald in verband met de controverse achter het publiceren van mijn persoonlijke verhaal in het verhaal en het risico dat dat kon zijn voor een baangarantie.

ISBN: 9789082936810

Gepubliceerd op 30 september 2018

Een introductie van het invulverhaal en de onderzoeksmethode achter het invulverhaal, waarin de lezer de protagonist is en de ingevulde informatie zal worden gebruikt voor het zoeken naar “The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning”, die nodig is voor het vinden van een politiek-economisch consensus.

ISBN: 9789082936834

Gepubliceerd op 30 november 2018

Een uitweiding van het invulverhaal, met als thema de (bedrijfs)filosofie en strategische uitdagingen binnen het onderzoeksconcept, gecombineerd met een vroege poging tot ledenwerving.

ISBN: 9789082936896

Gepubliceerd op 30 januari 2019

Een lang essay over een non-cijfermatig algoritme voor levensverbetering en de toepassing hiervan.

ISBN: 9789082936889

Gepubliceerd op 30 maart 2019

De onthulling van de spanningslagen uit het eerste boek van het invulverhaal en de laatste invulvragen die samen de hypothese van The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning vormen.

Long-read Artikelen

Publicatiedatum: 28 februari 2019

Dit is deel 1 van de artikelenserie die gaat over de macro-economische gedachte achter de organisatie die ik wil starten en over de economische hervorming van Keynes.

Publicatiedatum: 15 april 2019

Deel 2 van de serie over macro-economie in de context van mijn (hopelijk) toekomstig bedrijf, gaat in op hedendaagse voorbeelden van marktfalen en de (zelf ontwikkelde) wiskundige basismodellen achter mijn idee van duurzame hervorming.

Karaktereigenschappen

Positief Negatief
Communicatief sterk Soms verlegen
Doortastend empathisch vermogen (Vrijetijds)workaholic wat betreft auteurschap en onderzoek
Leert snel Gebruikt soms complexe woordkeuzes en zinsconstructies
Initiatiefnemer

 

Hobby’s

In mijn vrije tijd dans ik graag. In het verleden heb ik ballet (3-4 jaar), streetdance (12 – 14 jaar) en hip-hop (16 jaar) danslessen gevolgd. Ik heb vroeger ook judo (4 tot 8 jaar), pençak silat (6 tot 12 jaar) en tennislessen (3 jaar eventjes en toen 10 tot 12 jaar) gevolgd. Vanaf mijn veertiende tot mijn achttiende speelde ik voor Rotterdam Basketbal. Sinds mijn negende speel ik piano.

Tekenen (en schilderen en beeldhouwen) doe ik met slecht weer met plezier. Fotograferen doe ik ook heel graag. Vooral wanneer ik reis, wat ik ook erg vaak met vol enthousiasme doe. Ik ben in Nederland (Amsterdam, Texel, Ameland, Hoenderloo, Maastricht, Enschede, en nog een paar steden), Duitsland (Berlijn, Stuttgart, München, Düsseldorf, Trier, Wiesbaden en Meerbusch), Frankrijk (Parijs en diverse delen van Normandië), België (diverse plaatsen in de Ardennen en Antwerpen), Engeland (Newcastle), Ierland (Dublin), Suriname (Paramaribo en twee plaatsen in “de binnenlanden”), de Bahama’s (Nassau), Spanje (Ibiza), Italië (Rome, Udine, Verona, Venetië en Brugnera), Turkije (Marmaris en Alanya), Griekenland (Kreta) en de Verenigde Staten (Miami, FL; Baltimore, MA) op vakantie geweest, gedurende mijn hele leven, en zou graag nog veel meer van de wereld willen zien.

Verder lees ik ook graag informatieve klassiekers (zo kom ik bijvoorbeeld aan mijn PR basiskennis), ben ik bekend met programmeren met Visual Basic (en heb ik ook ervaring met programmeren voor Android, Java (in het algemeen) en C# (voor Unity)), kan ik Access databases bouwen (zo heb ik mijn eigen boekhoudsysteem gemaakt, voor mijn persoonlijke administratie), beheers ik HTML en CSS, spreek ik vloeiend Engels (en kan ik een beetje Frans spreken (en het bijna vloeiend verstaan (als het niet te snel en geen gebroken Frans/straattaal is)), Sranan Tongo kan ik redelijk verstaan, Duits kan ik redelijk spreken en vrijwel vloeiend verstaan), maak ik soms beats met Reason Lite, ga ik regelmatig naar de sportschool (voor krachttraining), houd ik van (neo-soul/rap/hip-hop/jazz/klassiek/R&B) muziek luisteren, fietsen en sprinten, ben ik de laatste tijd een beetje Italiaans aan het leren, en – last but not least – schrijf ik heeeeel veeel (voor mijn persoonlijke blog LilFangs.com 🙂 ).


If you are interested in becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International, please read my Business Overture 🙂

Blog, Images, Media, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Videos

Cold Case 15 [Tuesday, April 16, 2019]

14:22 (02:22 PM)

Good afternoon ♥

Exactly one year ago, I wrote my first online diary post. And yesterday, I shared the first fundamentals of the alternative economic system I live for to see it thrive. My written content has evolved a lot, in the past year 🙂 .

Something that has stayed stagnate, however, is my development in finding a suitable audience.

The things I write about and the concepts I want to tackle collectively, apply to all of our lives. But the majority of people in what I considered my social circle, would rather look away and say that what I want to accomplish is impossible. That goes for many people outside that circle as well.

So I’m still busy strategizing my way around this enormous burden. Attending networking events, has been my main method to attempt this, aside from attempting to reopen and close my cold case by trying another way to reach my B ( = dr. Crutzen).

Within this year, I have spent more than 70% of time all by myself, working on this concept for change. That’s why I haven’t experienced many memorable things, in comparison to previous years. Typing and writing has become so common that there’s nothing memorable about it anymore.

The Harvard Business Review / Harvard Business Publishing Executive Event, which I attended Thursday last week, is, because of that, a memory that is added to my collection of mentally visual memories, to which not many things have been added, in the past year.

I, still, keep replaying everything I remember that has happened there, in my mind, because – aside from me heavily struggling with my temper – it was an exciting experience, in comparison to the many other things I frequently experience. Frequent experiences such as laying in bed while typing a diary post, with my stomach growling, because it’s past 3 PM (now that I’m typing this) and I still have not eaten anything yet.

I’m going to eat “breakfast” and then I’ll continue my build-up towards expressing feelings that are so unusual that I tend to hide them 🙂 .

~~~

16:45 (04:45 PM)

The memories of the event, which uncontrollably replay itself in my mind, bring along mixed feelings. Mixed feelings, of partial positivity, because I was very happy to be in an environment where everyone has been encouraged to brainstorm and where very experienced people shared their knowledge, plus meeting two very nice students, but I found myself struggling with social norms so much that I just couldn’t stay for lunch and networking.

I thought that the audience of the event was going to be the same type of people as the speakers themselves, and that we were going to brainstorm together to list and solve employment (and sustainability) related challenges. But most people in the audience who made themselves heard there, were not in such a position. (As far as I know – in the context of the future – only the students (who also have leadership aspirations, for a business that is not an app or an ice cream store. It was so comforting to hear 😀 ) and I.) For some reason – of which the explanation I’m building up towards – I had the feeling that – though I had the chance of seeing and speaking to people I’ve had a very slight chance of ever meeting – it was not the right time to raise awareness on my business concept.

I kept thinking that we would be better off alone, without the people down the ladder who are not waiting to be replaced by artificial intelligence. Without a team of supporters, I’m not ready to be verbally lynched by the opponents of the real technological revolution that, in the end, is inevitable.

I couldn’t think of any one-on-one conversation starters, because I thought that I was going to be starting group conversations with Graeynissis. The only thing I could think of is asking the Dutch CEO of such a popular Dutch holding, a question about emergency policies, regarding the waterworks.

[I’m a bit struggling with how to refer to high profile Graeynissis who I haven’t asked for permission to write about. But I think, since I already let this go on the day itself, I’ll just continue in full-face diary mode.]

Okayy I’m going to be very random and describe my full experience to you in full detail, including how I went there.

I definitively decided that I was going to attend the event, the day before, after I – after a long time – asked for a personal donation, to pay for the train… I hadn’t slept properly for a few days. If I had known that I would have been able to go there, I would have spent the day before differently (not going to a coffeeshop and playing basketball afterwards, but preparing a pitch), shaved my legs and gone to bed earlier.

But I selected my outfit before I went to sleep (thinking of making a representative impression), and I had slept for less than 2 hours, because my alarm went off at 05:20 AM. This had become my travel plan:

I had 13 minutes to buy a train ticket

The metro ride was only one stop, after which I walked to the Tobacco Theater

I made those screen shots when I was still in bed, because I woke up very tired and wondered for how long I could continue to rest. (I couldn’t.) After a quick rinse (since I already showered in the middle of the night, after having played basketball), I put on my wig (but realized that I had forgotten to comb it in the shower, so it was frizzy) and some make-up (wishing that I had the tools to make something else than another set of cat-eyes). I drank my tea in the bathroom, and didn’t have time to eat breakfast. (I was hoping that there would have been food at the coffee reception…)

After brief regular conversations with my parents, I walked to the metro and was in the train on time. I read the HBR edition from 2015 that was in my bag, as I sat on the folding chair near in between the train entrance and the entrance to the first class part of the train, for more than an hour. (Feeling slight heartache for not being a real executive travelling at least first class. Plus I just grabbed my trench coat off the coat rack when I left, not knowing that the dry cleaners had given it back to me all wrinkled, which made me feel uncomfortable after noticing it, when I saw my reflection in the metro.)

When I found the theater, I noticed my name tag right away, on the table at the wardrobe. I started the interaction with the employee standing near it, with: “Hi, I see my name tag here.” (I always think “Jaa wtf moet ik nu zeggen,” when I need to talk to personnel to initiate their work task.) She then took my jacket and asked me if I would like to have a print-out of the program. I said “Yes, please,” and also gave her my bag to hang at the wardrobe, because it was quite big in comparison to the bags I saw other people carry. Then I noticed that I had put my phone into my bag, so I asked for my bag back, took it out and gave it back, feeling slightly clumsy.

I still have my name tag and the print-out of the program:

Haha I feel very random for sharing this now, but I couldn’t type all of this while I was present there and after that I was busy making my Keynes deadline. I also feel random for still having it¿

I thought that I would have been able to score a piece of cake or something else to tame my stomach, which was growling very loud at some point

So I walked into the place where the magic was about to happen, and saw a lot of people chatting with each other. I was hungry, tired and alone, plus had no clue who to approach to have a truly fruitful conversation with (it’s always either fruitful or adding to my heartache, and the more my heart has endured, the more the gamble scares me). I decided to take a moment (and empty my bladder) by visiting the ladies room. The location thereof, I asked the sound+screen+lights crew. Quite clumsy again, because I was carrying my notebook and phone in my hand, and I have slight hosophobia.

Walking back to the theater hall (which I expected to be bigger¿), feeling a bit disoriented from all of the little corridors, I met Alexandra, who started our conversation by saying exactly what I was thinking: (paraphrased) that the construction of the theater is like a little maze. (That is neither positive, nor negative. Just a very bright observation 🙂 .)

I then asked her where she’s from – Slovakia – and within no time, we were exchanging our ideas and aspirations. The idea she has for the book she wants to write (which I won’t give away, because it’s her idea and not mine or anyone else’s), is something I believe the world truly needs. I gave her my business card right after I heard 🙂 .

I find it hard to estimate wheter people enjoy talking to me or not. I didn’t know if she was enjoying our conversation – I don’t have such nice conversations often, so I feared coming off too attached(¿) – and if me talking to her was maybe making someone else she’s with stand alone, so I asked if she was alone, too.

We were standing at the right side of the stage in the mini theater hall, near the door that leads to both the exit and the bathrooms, and she pointed to her friend, who was standing on the other side, at the coffee and tea tables. I asked if I could join them. In that way, we became a squad of three, but I didn’t know if they actually wanted me to join them or not (as in some people do not want that, and I didn’t know if they enjoyed my presence or were just being polite, but “Do you prefer it if I leave?” I found too much of a depressing question to ask and explain. Especially because I didn’t want to leave her side).

She introduced me to David (I believe is how his name is written), her fellow student. They know each other because they are both international human resources students at Saxion University. David is from Italy and reads the HBR – which is how they got the invitation – and took Alexandra along as his +1. They have plans of (potentially) starting a business together. (I have not asked if they were dating? They look(ed) like they really connect. I hope I didn’t eavesdrop on their date¿)

We talked about that at the tea and coffee tables, where Alexandra and I poured ourselves a cup of tea. She chose forest fruit flavor (I think¿) and I chose jasmin flavor.

Around the time I had finished my tea, we walked to the seating area in the middle of the theater. We sat down in the middle of the seating area, on the middle right side of the middle parting of the rows of black wooden chairs with flat cushions on them. Because of the way we approached the chairs, I ended up sitting in between the students I had just met. (My insecurities repeatedly made me wonder if I was right for eavesdropping like this? But it felt even stranger to ask. Like how my mother tells me that dr. Crutzen actually wants nothing to do with me, but he still wants to schedule a meeting with me?)

I’m going to have dinner (it’s 9 PM now) and then I’ll continue 🙂 .

~~~

21:32 (09:32 PM)

Dinner was great. I love spare ribs 🙂 . I’ll now continue my very random explanation of flashbacks, of this special Thursday.

Miss Wright welcomed us with her speech, after which Mister Macht (cool to have the Dutch word for power as your last name 🙂 ) gave his speech. He explained how, with the tools of Harvard Business Publishing (corporate learning), the performance of an organization can be improved.

I believe that at some point, he mentioned that cyborgs (as in a human being with brain implants) already exist (in the context of the business side of it, which also suits the future of work very much) – which was something that made me want to cheer, because that would definitely make me win my psychiatry related cold case – but I can’t find that back in his slides? (I swear I saw and heard it thoughhh. I also heard (Dutch) people anxiously mutter, when it was shown. (Maybe that is why it’s not included in the downloadable version? Or maybe Mister Anthony said it. It’s in neither of the slides, but it really has been mentioned. Anywayy yay cyborgs.))

Since I heard that, I’ve been thinking: if I can perform brain-to-brain communication, while regular humans cannot do that, does that then make me a cyborg? It wouldn’t surprise me if I were one 🙂 . It would also explain why “some” of my relatives treat me like dirt 🙂 . I still have real feelings, though they might forget 🙂 .

The examples of business cases Joshua gave – I don’t know if I should stay respectfully formal or go colloquially first-name-basis on this, but this is my very intimately expressed diary so yayy – are the exciting futuristic and beautifully established brands that make me so excited about Harvard Business Publishing / the Harvard Business Review.

I would so love D.O.C.I.S. International to become one of those HBP & HBR case businesses. But meoww I’m such a small business, the concept is so controversial and I’m so broke, that I fear being rejected or ignored, for some reason. I still e-mailed him about my interest in a corporate partnership, hoping that that is the right approach to, in the end, have him become one of my Graeynissis 😀 .

After Joshua Macht [I wonder if using the name of someone who ranks high in search engines is somehow notified when I use his or her name?] had spoken, and an elaborate series of questions from the audience had been asked, Scott D. Anthony interactively spoke of the future of business, from the perspective of Innosight, as well as from his own personal perspective.

I found the slide, by the way! It was mister Anthony who spoke of a cyborg (in the context of the quote “The future has already arrived. It is just not very evenly distributed.” I knew it! (x2 (as in the world is far more advanced than the way mainstream Dutch people see it, which I’ve mentioned quite often here))). Meoww I received the slides today and realized that what I told Scott in the e-mail I sent him was inaccurate, in the sense that I told him that he inspired me to work on the way I analyze my data, and then referred to a slide that was not his x_x. I feel stupiddd. I also feel strange for mailing, while I have his and Joshua’s phone number, but what I want to say is sooo much and my voice would be all shaky because I’d see it as a once-in-a-lifetime chance that could easily blow over if I don’t use the right words.

The cyborg is wearing a red jacket, I believe :).

I discussed the “bingo” slide with Alexandra. I told her about the self-driving buses I used to take to visit the gym in Rivium Business Park, and about the cryptominers in this house I live in. We have both tried plant-based meat 🙂 . (I really wonder how it gets its meat flavor?)

At the end of the first part of his speech, he asked for two volunteers from the audience. I raised my hand right away, because I love being a subject for an audience and speaking for an audience.

After being selected first, by being pointed at, I walked on stage by taking a huge step with my Timberlands heels, instead of taking the stairs. It was very random, but it felt more efficient than walking towards the little stairs on the side of the stage. Then I was told to take place in front of the stage, instead of on top of it, so I used my efficient way of walking again, mentally crossing my fingers to not twist my ankle, as I took a big step to get off the stage, and – with the shakiness of my sore muscles from the work-out sessions fron the days before, plus loss of muscle strength because of the state of my heart – my other leg followed. I thought I was going to feel awkward about it, but I’m happy that I didn’t feel bad and kept my feeling of happiness.

Scott asked us who we are and whether we were optimists or pessimists about the prospects of the future. The other subject – I am incredibly sorry to have forgotten his name – who I believe was a Sikh, said that he is an optimist. I said that I’m both an optimist and a pessimist, using the words “I’m a little bit of both.” I introduced myself with only my name, by means of making an indirect statement, on which I will later elaborate.

After having been told about both optimistic and pessimistic statistics, regarding corporate and international growth, and the story behind that (after which we were told to not focus on the numbers, which – that always happens – incentivized me to focus on the numbers) my opponent volunteer was tasked with defending pessimism (“we are at the … of despair”) and I was tasked with defending optimism (“we are at the spring of hope”). The reasons for optimism were mainly about the increasing amount of start-ups and steady profits. Pessimism was defended by elaborating on the state of the oil market.

That is when I realized how complicated (to open up about) my actual viewpoint is. I’m only slightly optimistic, because I’m capable of reasoning out a way to alter the world, to make it fully sustainable and peaceful, and I can use D.O.C.I.S. International as the ultimate advocate, to make that reality. If I didn’t have had that, I would have considered a proper future for myself and like-minded people so impossible that I would have committed suicide by now. I see most start-ups as rival businesses who are disregarding what nature truly needs (which is not another concept striving to maximize output). And, as a Fangyist, I’m anti-profit, because of the heavy claim it makes on natural resources, when spent.

It would have been a good moment to pitch my business concept, but it would take quite a few minutes to make that clear, and I wanted to win the debate, so I said something like this:

“Of course, we are at the spring of hope. The American economy is booming, for example. [I indirectly said that I’m pro-Trump, but that is more for political awareness.] And though we are running out of fossil fuels [not even to begin with the state of the waterworks], we have modern technology, so we can replace that [I was struggling to find the right words to use, but I meant that we can fully switch to sustainable technology instead of fossil fuels]. There are amazing prospects, such as ever-increasing profits [I said while I pointed at one of the numbers on the positive statistics paper. I had to think of (ew) cryptocurrencies right away, and how much of non-value that actually is] and, I mean, if we can already learn by texting, these days [a reference to Joshua’s speech. I want to teach people Fangyist economics by texting?], the future must be great.”

People started to applaud. I made a little bow, after which I went back to my seat. We were then told to vote, and “positivity” had won the majority of votes 🙂 (even though I voted neutral, and my words (and appearance) might not have been an influence, but it still felt like winning, which was something I truly needed).

I just randomly watched this video, which I came across, as a suggestion, when I was searching for a tutorial to make an HTML email (like a newsletter) via a regular mail client, because I’m thinking of getting Graeynissis by sending an interactive newsletter-ish message, and this is based on what I “usually” watch:

Zondag met Lubach always makes me laugh, but when “the foreigners debate” comes across anywhere, I always get mixed feelings (because I know racism far too well).

During the break, while Alexandra and David were socializing with other people, and other potential Graeynissis had rows of people wanting to speak to them, in front of them, I got myself some tea.

Meoooow it’s already 02:30 AM! The rest of the story is still quite long, and while I was typing this, I got the idea of sending a selection of people an HTML e-mail where I give them my ideas and ask if they are interested in attending a brainstorm event I’ve been dreaming of organizing for quite a while now. It is the introduction event of D.O.C.I.S. International that takes place before the Benefit I also want to organize.

More about that, and how I went from volunteering to leaving earlier at the event, after some mental rest.

Good night ♥

~~~

Blog, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Personal Financial Objective

I have earned more than €7 million in 5 years’ time. My carpe diem mentality (and distrust of financial markets) has incentivized me to enjoy it now – by investing it in friendships and purchasing gadgets I like – and turn it into a long-term financial safety net by investing in the hobbies I could make a living with. I have spent more than that €7 million in that same period of time.

I must say that I’m a bit heart broken to find out how much I can earn, in this way. I usually end my month with about the same amount of money that was on it the previous month, so it was very unnoticeable how much has come in over time. Please know that that €7 million+ is not my net worth (because spending €1 million on food is not an asset? It just vanishes into thin air x_x. But my belly is filled 🙂 ).

Until I asked myself what my personal revenue has been over a few years’ time, just a few days ago, while properly doing my book keeping for this year’s first quarter, I had not been aware of this.

If I knew this 5 years ago, I would have spent it veryyy differently. (I really thought that I was poor, in terms of income. I still am, in comparison to my parents and how much I can currently spend (less than €5).)

How I Earned It?

The number is a bit blown up, for it includes traffic from and to my savings account. The exact number, I’m still making a database for calculation for. My other savings accounts also still need to be included.

By delivering informal services (tutoring & bookkeeping), short contract jobs (Albert Heijn & ANWB), by having generous grandparents, by sometimes being paid back for treating someone, by having a lot of people celebrating my birthday with me and by my parents paying me back for household expenses and (occasionally) for other general expenses.

Why I Have Spent More Than I Earned?

  • Because new things make me happy and give me a fun occupation of time (going somewhere to buy it/using the internet for something else than gaining knowledge). I keep spending, even now that I don’t have an income, until I hit my payment account’s limit of €500.
  • Because the Dutch tax system is awful (it should be abolished and replaced).
  • Because the Dutch health care system is awful (it should be abolished and replaced).
  • Because I travel (long distances) often, but don’t have a car.
  • Because most of that income comes from compensation for household purchases, and those are not always paid back in full. (Let’s say I go for gas and and buy groceries with a total of €113.15, I get paid back €110.-. It goes against my principles to hold a discussion over €3.15, and “but you’re part of this household too” is often an argument to let me pay.)
  • I have not always asked for my money back. Because I tend to treat people, even when I don’t have the money for it, and other reasons. (Buying groceries, treating drinks, buying presents, treating restaurant dinners.)
  • Because I do not believe in banks and gambling on the stock market.

I’ve also never claimed any inheritances or obtained anything from sold family property, while I should have been considered entitled to it.

The fact that I’m currently in debt (in theory only my personal bank account debt of €495.95, my study loan of about €15,000.- (and I still don’t have a PhD x_x)), former business account debt of €73.31 and a discutable rental car fine of €1,650.20) forces me to change the way I go about my money.

My Objective

I want to earn at least the same, within the coming five years. This time preferably faster, so that I can use it to build a house (on my corporate island, which will be shared with partner citizens).

Objective Criteria

  • I will not buy anything for anyone anymore (until I earn more than I spend). This includes travel expenses for visits, cooking expenses (I believe that I should even be paid for the act of cooking itself, and that I’m a creative Michelin chef (lol)), etc.. (Haha meow I need generous and rich friendsss, otherwise I’ll stay alone forever x_x…)
  • Business expenses will not be done from my personal account anymore.
  • I’m going to ask back every penny spent on taxes too much and sue all parties in the health care system who have ever wronged me (plus the individuals who have forced me to psychiatric treatment).
  • I won’t befriend people who don’t give rounds like I do.
  • Only 50% of my income may be used for spending, the rest I’ll put on my account on my own bank (once it’s there, because fuck commercial banks etc. 🙂 ). My bank will be called Planet Fang and its headquarters will be on its (is)land Planet Fang 🙂 .
  • For further business expenses, trustworthy investors are needed.

Using the Safety Net

You’re looking at my safety net… My little broadcasting publishing business… I hope D.O.C.I.S. International is my gateway to useful contacts. In the end, I only care about my mission regarding societal change…

Haha I told you I’m a non-profit organization x_x.

The featured image is from Pixabay.

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Becoming member of D.O.C.I.S. International more efficient than Voting? 

Yes. That’s why, when you vote, you should put my (your own) name on that voting paper, and draw a check box in front of it. Then check that box. 

Check

De Verkiezing voor de Provinciale Staten en WATERSCHAPPEN. 20 Maart. Lil Fangs for Praesens. 

I’m doing thisssss. 

You know about it. 

Thanks, mate

The featured image is taken by Element5 Digital. 

A "U.S." style voting box, for a post about "Dutch" voting. Shouldn't those elections be broadcasted internationally as well? The sentiment that comes with "Human Rights". It's suitable. 
Blog, Popular Posts, Reflections

Untitled Reflection #1

The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be in sight. Those two years of restless nights, could finally show its merit! 

My strategy for rapid but peaceful global change, is narrowed down to something anyone else could understand, now. So I’m so glad that I’ve sent my Overture to Funding Options… 

One of their specialists has forwarded it to three different potential investors (two crowdfunding platforms and one individual). I’ll have to convince them that this will earn their investment back… I live for this, and I’ve developed a zillion strategies for that one strategic endeavor, so I hope they’ll see why investing in D.O.C.I.S. International is doing the right thing. But it’s such an unusual organization, I fear that that could be a reason for rejection… 

The rejection of my Overture, would break my heart… I don’t know what will happen… Will they all be interested in investing? Will I be able to convince only one person? Will they all say “no”? The coming few weeks will show… That’s why, currently, emotionally, I feel in between the purest, most intense form of happiness and satisfaction, and a destructive type of heart break. Their decision will shift me to one of the two extremes. 

That everything about my personal life can be read here – some things positive, most of them negative – is a conscious move that’s all about the transparency I value so much in my business. I’m not at all proud of the things I’ve done and gone through in the past two years, but, since my endeavor touches on personal lives, I find it important that you know how I experience and have experienced life. I hope that we’re similar type of people. But if we’re not, you should know that, too, before you make your decision. 

I quit sharing my feelings here regularly, because the situation with my feelings and my family still hasn’t changed the slightest bit. They find that their actions were right in the past two years, and I find that my actions were right in the past two years. Even a consensus would be a waste of time in this context. I want to solve this by leaving for good and keeping full focus on my business. Because this is not even friendship, to me. I’ve never felt so lonely and so misunderstood. 

But they want to keep talking about it. Talking about it is easy, when the rest of everyone they know, feels the same way about me, and they all agree about that I was wrong. And because they’re a majority, it’s “reality” to them. But that’s because when I’m right, in this specific context, they’re wrong. Unbiased opinions from “outsiders” don’t count in that “reality”, so I’m the schizophrenic. They don’t want to let me go, and the way they look at me hurts me so much. 

When I direct my campaign, I’d be glad to say that I won’t have time for any of that nonsense. I would be so happy to finally live my purpose. Approaching investors is the last step in my Volta’s Plan B in Practice! I can’t wait to direct the Project Nosce Te Ipsum campaign! If my three funding options say no, I won’t stop searching… 

I hope to finally pay myself a salary soon, though. (That’s why there’s so much emotional weight on my first attempt.) Then I can finally afford my own place to stay, and I finally won’t be a dependent person anymore. I put myself in that situation, by investing all of my time into creating the strategy for the development of D.O.C.I.S. International. A strategy to fully, legally, change the entire system at once! 

I’ve taken a risk by betting my life on it – because I’ve fallen behind on getting a bachelor’s, earning and gaining working experience – but I wouldn’t have done it, if I didn’t see how much potential my ideas have. I hope you see the same thing, my dear reader. 

I can’t wait to give presentations about my plans, and assemble a group of professionals, I’ll be able to pay to make my vision reality. I look forward to make people from different fields work together! The campaign is designed in a bottom-up type of management style 🙂 . 

Volta
Blog, Images, Popular Posts, Reflections

Volta’s Plan B in Practice

Have you ever encountered setbacks, while you’re working towards something that lies very close to your heart? This method will get you back on track in no time! Volta’s Plan B is focused on recovery from setbacks and keeping you in control of your own path. In this post, I’m applying the method to my own life.

Consider the method in Volta‘s first part, the 1.0 version of the method. There are some postulates in the book, about which I would very much appreciate the feedback of those who have read the book. If they suit the perception of the marjority of readers, I’m a lot closer to finding The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning. Since I have no official subjects [yet? :D], to tell me if the method suits them or not, I’ll continue to use the method on myself, and share my findings with you. I hope that you’ll be able to relate to my words, and that the strategy I use, suits you as well.


Approach


Overviewing the Method

Plan A was a risk, which was worth the shot. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. What I want to achieve in the end, doesn’t change, so I need to work out an alternative, to stay on track. For that, its crucial to keep an overview of the method I have decided on and swear by. So I drew Volta’s method as a diagram:

Diagram about Volta

Changing a life around has never looked so simple 🙂

Of the three options that make “The Method”, only plan A and B should be defined from the start, but plan B only needs to be worked out in detail, when it’s needed. If plan A works out, having a fully worked out plan B is unnecessary. Also, I must say that I also find it very relaxing, to go back to the drawing table, and reflect on all of my Volta, before latching onto a new strategy. That’s another plus of plan B only being a short overall definition and an idea that only exists mentally. But choosing to define everything at once is, of course, good, too. The preferred approach depends per person.

A Volta is the shift from living a life that doesn’t fully satisfy you, towards a life that is fully satisfying to you, making you experience the ultimate form of happiness. An overview is created by stating short definitions of your current state, your desired state, your plan A and your plan B.

    • Current state
      I don’t have a fixed income. Because of that, I can’t afford my own place to work and live in. For my business to expand, I need to expand my network (with useful contacts… I aspire positive “macroeconomical influence”). To operate on that level, I need more multidisciplinary expertise and more capital.
    • Desired state
      I want to earn enough to provide myself with the comfort I desire. (Preferably, I’d like to move to California, but that doesn’t have to happen right away.) With my new expertise, my research can be finished, which I could use to find experts who would like to sponsor my work. I want to (acquire enough capital to) establish the brand of D.O.C.I.S. International, and find more publicists, with a campaign for the Nosce Te Ipsum collections. The business should become “The” [capital T!] holding for independent conceptualization in any field, with the intentions of improving the world for the greater good. Its end goal is constituting our own independent state (I’m talking about land and not the mind), in the future…
    • Preferred strategy
      Plan A was becoming the student of a properly ranked international university, but “tweaking” the curriculum into one where I can gain my multidisciplinary expertise (almost) straight from the expert, with a focus on my research endeavor. And prove my new knowledge by using it in additions to the Nosce Te Ipsum collections. The end result of that could have been used to market D.O.C.I.S. International And then marketing that entire process as well as the end result, for the accomplishment of my endeavors.
    • Plan B
      My new strategy will include working on payroll (full time), to afford my own place to live. On the side, I’ll follow a self-made study, writing and research schedule, to create a sample for the series and of my business, I could use to find (financial) supporters with, for D.O.C.I.S. International and Project Nosce Te Ipsum. I (somehow) also need to get in touch with influential experts.

Adjustments are made when complications are experienced during the execution of Plan B. That plan still has to be executed, so modifications will not be stated yet. I intend to shape my strategy in such a way that they won’t be needed.

Defining What Exactly Caused the Change of Strategy

The reason why I’m now switching to plan B, is very simple: plan A was only possible if the university accepted my offer, and my offer was rejected. I knew that I was taking a great risk, when I wrote my motivation letter so alternatively. I knew that I was not enthusiastic about becoming a regular student, and the acceptance of my research related alternative is all I would accept, and I was honest about that in my offer. Still, the rejection stung quite a bit, because I had that tiny bit of hope that the potential of my offer would have been seen. But it was written very abstractly, and not reviewed by that potential researcher I could have been working with, so now I’m back at being and staying fully independent.

Sure, I could have tried plan A on more than one university. Still, I only approached one university, because I knew of one (or maybe two or three) researcher(s) there, who already know some about what I’m working towards, and fully explaining everything from scratch would take soooo much time (which is also why the offer was written abstractly, and it included the name of my Graeyniss I wanted to continue working with). And I don’t like asking/begging and then being rejected. Especially not more than once. And especially not with something that lies so close to my heart. If it were a job hunt, I wouldn’t even care that much (but I still would care a little, though).

Why defining the painful reason why I’m switching from plan A to B is useful? Two reasons: now, some components that were part of “The Method”, will be stripped off and replaced, and it’s important that I now only ask things from external parties, when I reallyyyyy have to.

How to Bypass the Factors of Plan A and Stay on Track

Plan A may include as many external parties as desired, and in plan B, that should be kept to a minimum. Your first strategy may be anything. It may have the lowest chance of succeeding and may include the help of as many people as you want. In Plan B, you should play it safe and work as independently as possible. Click here for an example.

What I did before this, was wait for the acceptance or rejection of my offer, while releasing Volta and making some changes to my websites. The waiting was part of the plan. There was a small chance that I could be noticed by the university, so signing a contract for a full-time job, and then withdrawing from that in a few weeks’ time, because my offer was accepted (a 10% chance, if not less, but still…), is against my loyalty related morals.

Depending on a university for guidance in gaining expertise is off the table. Aside from my studies at The Open University, where I’m free to combine my personal endeavors with the process of obtaining a degree. The only reason why I still “want” to obtain a degree, is in case my business plans don’t work out and I need to live the rest of my life working on payroll.

The university was the only optional external party on my path, I could “ask for help”. To learn, I can also read a book by myself, so for that, the university is not a necessity. What has become hard, now that plan A is not possible, is that it has become much harder for me to build the right network. I hope that when I have amped-up my multidisciplinary levels of expertise, I’ll be able to attend serious Graeyniss events (and have the funds to attend those) and use that to meet the people I’ll need for the global Volta. I’ll also need them, to double-check the theoretical side of the Nosce Te Ipsum collections.

The major difference, when it comes to my main strategy, is that I’ll now have to search for all of the answers, to the global mystery I’m trying to solve, by myself… That reminds me of another group of external parties I need! (Even though, the Graeynissis, experts, investors and “informants”, might be the same people.) The most theoretical and “difficult” part of the expertise I seek for the Nosce Te Ipsum series and the global Volta, is “scientifically defining” how the system works. So the way economics, politics, law, et cetera, are globally linked together, stuck in a cycle. Most of my research will be literary (and alone…) now that I can’t ask a university researcher, but I’m quite sure that the depths of it, won’t be stated in the types of books I’ll be able to find. Maybe if I’m able to gain enough attention and appreciation with the work I do, one of the individuals whose expertise lies in the maneuvering in the depths of the system.

I’ll bypass the factors of plan A and stay on track, by doing fully independent self-study. At some point, I’ll need a better network, which I might be able to get, by attending events that will relate to my new expertise. (Or by being at the right place, at the right time. Or by my work being more popular by that time…)

Formulating a New Strategy to Achieve my Goals, in Detailed Steps

A strategy is complete, when you’re able to imagine your path to success, and it is the same as the schedule you have made for yourself on paper. It could be a schedule narrowed down to day-to-day tasks. It could be a list of tasks, not at all related to time. The exact application of the method, depends on what you’re working towards.

I find my steps by imagining my desired state and then comparing it to now. The end goal consists of the achievement of smaller goals and requirements. I keep asking myself: “What should I do to achieve that?” I ask myself that repeatedly, for every little aspect that makes up the end goal, until I can’t ask myself that question anymore, because the full strategy is defined.

This is the most fun part of strategizing 😀 . It’s also the most challenging part, because I want to prevent myself from making crucial changes to it, again! Blah blah introductory words about going to list the steps that will lead to achievements! Let’s get to it 😀

Step 1: A Summary of the New Strategy and a Financial Overview

[General: overall orientation on goal(s) and strategy]

Some of the goals I have relate to my personal life, and some relate to my endeavors in business. I consider them separate categories. So, my strategy is split into a personal side and a business side. I’ll summarize them in tables, because the steps I’ll take to achieve my goals, are also split into those two categories.

Usually, working on payroll, is seen as the “business” side of a life. But because the endeavor behind my sole proprietorship is so large, searching for a job is solely to cover my living expenses. (Unless my business plans all don’t work out, but I’ll have to be at least 35 to say that that happened. Before that, I really won’t stop trying. But as long as I don’t get there, I’ll attempt to climb up the corporate ladder.)

Personal Business
  • Income
    Of course, I need to stay able to pay my bills. There are new business expenses coming up as well (this far, I’ve covered all of my business expenses from my own pocket). Also, I would like to buy new clothes and change my hair and stuff… And re-stack my savings, after all of the turbulence in my life, which has cost me all of that. So, for the quickest guaranteed legal income, need to start working somewhere full-time, like I did when I came back from escaping turbulence in the US (while having my final exams et cetera, and still passing everything).
  • Living
    I need an office. Preferably one in my home. Yeah, that’s the second part: I need a home. But I prefer living in California over living in the Netherlands. Money wise, I can’t afford to live anywhere, which is why I’m still “crashing on the couch” in Amsterdam. That really needs to change. So I’ll rent something small I also need new people in my social circle, like I already mentioned in Volta. Some new friends I can do business with…
  • Expertise
    For my multidisciplinary endeavor, I need to know how the entire system works, before I can be certain about my concept for a new one, so I have some questions regarding the fields of economics, political science, law, mathematics, ecology, engineering, and the list goes on. (Since this is plan B,) I’ll be doing quite some self-study. What I learn and the way I’ll use my knowledge to achieve my goals, will become part of Nosce Te Ipsum.
  • Conceptualization
    The abstract main question of my multidisciplinary (pre-)research is “How does the system (really) work?” I want to turn my learning process into entertainment. [Of course, I need to have finished the written theoretical side before I start campaigning… And I need to expand my network, because videos of it are more fun, when I’m talking to an expert.] When all of my questions are answered, I can work out the rest of the Nosce Te Ipsum series. Its science fiction story is the survey, in which my concept for an alternative system is described, and the questions in it, relate to finding consensus, by finding The Universal Standard of Human Reasoning. I would like to bring the series out in book, audio and video format.
  • Scale
    For my business to become successful, I need to reach many more people. Not only because I need at least 15,000 subjects to ratify The Universal Standard of Human reasoning. It would also be nice to find publicists for D.O.C.I.S. International, and find people who would like to help me put into practice the practical side of the alternative system (including the state) I’ll be working out after I’m done writing down my plan B.

To make sure I stay on the right track and stay financially healthy, a quick overview of my monthly expenses and what I need to keep money aside for:

Title Category Recurrence Amount
Health insurance Personal Monthly €117.50,- (I need to add some modules to my subscription, though, since it got downgraded after I was behind on payments, but now that my doctor lives in Germany, let’s say it becomes €160,- once I start earning (including a buffer for own risk payments))
Phone subscription Personal(… for now…) Monthly €55,-
Spotify Personal Monthly €10
Webhosting Business Monthly €25
ISBNs Business Quarterly €50
Books Business Monthly (on average) €75
Hair, clothing and other appearance related things (like waxing hahaaaa I need to make sure that I don’t keep not doing that! x_x) Personal(/business?) One-time + monthly (on average) [That’s what I want to start doing… Or maybe quarterly? Currently, I only do that when I have something extra to spend, and that is basically never] €600 + €100
Minimum potential rent Personal Monthly (in the future) €600
Potential down payment + costs of moving in Personal One-time (in the future) €1000 [Yeah, I plan to go cheap and make most of my furniture from old things, because going cheap is faster… Making furniture out of cheap fake leather, cheap foam rubber and (hideous) old and unused furniture and stuff… It doesn’t feel right to live under someone else’s roof. I appreciate that here, I’m allowed to, though…]
Food Personal Monthly €250
Travelling expenses Personal(/business) Monthly €100
Social things (buying drinks in a bar, birthday presents, etc) Personal Quarterly €125
Online marketing Business Quarterly €100 [as long as I don’t have investors… For Volta, my marketing budget was €0. For previous releases, I’ve spent about €250 in total.]
Buffer (to save, in case of wildly unexpected expenses) Personal Monthly €200

So my totals are:

  • Average monthly expenses starting from March: €1532.50 (but this is including rent… it’s €932.50 excluding rent)
  • Average total expenses for the second quarter of 2019: €275 [€92 per month]
  • Total of one-time expenses: €1600
  • Everything in a monthly rate: €1024.50 without rent and one-time expenses, €1807.50 with rent and without one-time expenses
  • Minimum income to start renting a place from April (but the sooner, the better, actually): about €2000,- (is what I’m saying, because when I work full-time, often, my max is €1800… Haha I’m basically doomed, because I should be earning way more to cover this and not be financially on the edge every time. But anything is better than my current financial state. Oh, yesss add a €600 one-time expense to that, since I need to get myself out of bank debt. (Not to start about my student debt… Ohh and I need to keep money aside for my Open University modules… You know what, I’ll just see how far I get with all of this 😀 . It seems like I’ll be going for that sales job…!!! I really can’t keep “crashing on the couch” here x_x. And I should start searching for investors asappp…))

What I would exactly ask from an investor, depends on my final findings. It’s part of my tasks for this strategy.

Step 2: A Fixed Income and an Approach to Gaining More Multidisciplinary Expertise

[Personal: the first step]

To make my business thrive, which is all of my goals summarized in five words, I need a better marketable sample of my concept(s) – to seek the endorsement of experts and/or investors and finish the full-scale version of my business concept. Meanwhile, I want to transition my life to the independent living and working circumstances I need to be able to succeed. The expertise is needed for conceptualization. To strategize efficiently, my learning process and the creation of a sample, will be done almost simultaneously.

When Plan B is initiated, my routine will change. From full-time blogging, writing books and doing web maintenance, to (full-time) working and following my schedule. Once before, I’ve worked full-time, while studying (including having tests and assignments) and writing/blogging, so I’m certain that I have enough discipline for this. It all went well (even though it was quite exhausting). And this time, I’m even more eager to learn, because I won’t just be doing it to answer some test questions.

Again, there’s the personal side, and the business side. I’ll start with breaking down the personal side of the step I’m currently working on, and then head over to the business side, which is keeping me in sync with my endeavor.

The Fixed Income (Personal)

When it comes to working on payroll, I have requirements to base my choice for an employer on. First of all, the job should be something that requires mental labor and not physical labor. So not lifting boxes or cooking or anything. Unless someone wants me to cook my specialties for a group of less than 20 people 😀 . I want to be using my brain more than my body, to earn.

My second requirement is that I’ll be working at least 32 hours per week. (And preferably have my days off on days that are not regular days off, so have my weekend not on the weekend. It’s more calm and I’ll have more time and space to focus on writing, when everyone is working when I have my time off and vice versa.) I want to have a reason to leave the house (almost) every day and, after soooo many days of posting diary posts, write different posts on my blog and, once I get paid, invest in better visuals and audio.

The last demand is that I earn at least €1800 per month (which feels farrr below the salary that suits what I could do, but I don’t have the titles for). I’ll save as much as possible and try to get myself an apartment as fast as possible. (So that one day, I’ll design my own house. I intend to not grow old in the apartment I’ll hire.) Hopefully the person who will hire me, will not see me as someone of the lowest income scale, because of what is on my curriculum vitae. Compared to what I’m working towards, €1800 is absolutely nothing, but I won’t be able to pay my bills for next month, if I don’t stop earning, and I’m not the type of person who nags, so I don’t intend to negotiate about my salary. I will settle for the job that pays best, and hopefully follow my heart and be satisfied.

My writing will not stand in the way of the work I do. Not only because I don’t share truly confidential information. I’m going to stop writing diary posts.

Expertise and Conceptualization (Business)

What I always do, to gain (“postgraduate” for this undergraduate) knowledge from any field, is read texts which are aimed at high-level professionals of that field, and look up every term I don’t know. In that way, I learn much more in a very short amount of time, in a challenging way. It’s also great for forming your own perspective, instead of following the meanings based on the paraphrasing of the paraphrasing of the source. It’s how I ended up reading Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith and Propaganda by Edward Bernays. (And Crystallizing Public Opinion, which was one of the sources for my Studying International Public Opinion.)

There are two things I should add to this way of learning, to improve it. One is that I should write about the way I interpret the text. I should share how I would paraphrase the theory – hoping that a real expert would like to watch over my shoulder – and share the 1001 thoughts that pop up every time I process a text like that. All of those thoughts, I usually don’t share. It’s also good for memorizing what I read…

The other thing is that I should dive into (popular) perspectives and opinions about the material I read. It will help me understand conversations about it better, as well as the material itself. (Not that I’ve ever had a conversation about any of it, in depth, in real life. It would be fun, though.) I usually read to understand my own world better, to form my own opinion from the “purest” source, instead of letting myself be influenced. I’m very interested in how other people have interpreted the text and what opinions they have formed. (Only if they’re shaped based on real arguments and not on being manipulated without knowing it…)

Volta’s Plan B in practice, is hard work. But it’s fun, and so worth it! I want to finish the first book of the Nosce Te Ipsum series – the theoretical part starts in book two – and have the knowledge I need to bridge the gaps between my ideas for global change going from just being ideas, to becoming reality. To accomplish that, I need the full concept written out officially, I need a sample of the project (Nosce Te Ipsum) I’ll use to explain everything in an interactive way, I need a PR strategy that will include my visual concepts “et cetera”, and – last, but especiallyyyyyy not least – I need the support of experts and investors.

Step 3: Combining a full-time job with my research schedule

[Personal: latching on]

From my experience of working full-time, while following a part-time university program and maintaining two websites, I know that self-set day-to-day deadlines or even weekly deadlines, might not always work out. It has happened that I set moments for myself, to work on something for school or something for D.O.C.I.S. International, but that I’m so tired from working that I can’t get to it. Now that I’m “taking a gap year” at The Open University, (haha it’s more not being able to pay my tuition, but anyway,) and I’m going to stop with posting diary posts, all I have to focus on, next to my job, will be my tasks for D.O.C.I.S. International. This might become an adjustment, but I’m going to set small weekly goals. My weekly goals used to be “finish assignment that requires me to read more than 100 pages of text and I haven’t read a single one yet” and then I had two days in the week off, sometimes not even before the deadline… (And I still passed both courses! I’m proud, haha…) Now, they’ll be based on a lot smaller tasks.

The most important subjects I have to gain expertise on, to achieve my goals, are: (macro)economics, law [the point where law touches on all other fields and all components of itself…] and mass communication. Then, there are mathematics, statistics, political science, computer science, engineering, et cetera. But for the most important part – thus what is necessary to present a sample – I need those three subjects. My learning process, will become part of what I’ll replace my diary posts with:

  1. MacroFangs
    • Main source: The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes
    • Abstract main questions: What would an economic model of all of the models that make up our global system look like? What would the “Planet Fang” model look like?
  2. JustiFanged
    • Main source: Summa Theologica by Thomas Aquinas [I’m going to read question 90 to 97, which is part of the Treatise on Law. Haha reading the whole thing would take me yearsssssss. I might include some other questions, though. It’s fucking interesting 😮 ]. I’ll also have do dive into regular codes of law.
    • Abstract main questions: Can I do “Planet Fang”? What would “The Fangyist Constitution” look like?
  3. FangShifty
    • Main sources: The Engineering of Consent by Edward Louis Bernays, Foreign Investments and National Advantage by John Maynard Keynes + digging into “the history of (global) economics”, with a focus on finance (and the political economy). I’m only using this “dashy” timeline: VOC + WIC, then Wall Street, then Greece, then Bitcoin and then Brexit
    • Abstract main questions: What is the pattern in the steps of a (financial) domino effect? What is does the aggregate of the after-effects of those domino effects lead to? How can we stop this shit, without the world collapsing? (I’m talking about how we’re currently giving people more money than there are resources available, and that the money game is based on literally staged shit…) It’s fine if people want to continue that shit for all eternity, as long as it’s possible to not be subjected to any of it, which is currently not the case.

The rest of my diary posts’ replacements, will be more poetry, more single images and more audio and video. I can’t yet predict how fast I’ll get the answers to my questions, as well as the amount of side-thoughts I’ll get. Regardless of those predictions, for The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, I want to start with about one book per two weeks. This book of Keynes consists of six books. It’s the first source I’ll scrutinize in the name of Project Nosce Te Ipsum.

My schedule includes the following tasks:

  • Finish the Plan B in Practice post and put that in the homepage slider
  • Make a Project Nosce Te Ipsum page, which refers to the pages for MacroFangs, JustiFanged and FangShifty + adapting the welcome text and welcome tour to that
  • Make the new Nosce Te Ipsum post ready for structured editing
  • Write Nosce Te Ipsum‘s episode 5
  • Analyze The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money
  • Analyze the Treatise on Law
  • Analyze The Engineering of Consent
  • Analyze Foreign Investments and National Advantage
  • Make a timeline for the history of the development of global finance, combined with politics, focused on investment banking
  • Make the sample and finish the branding strategy based upon that

How this will exactly be scheduled time-wise, will depend on how combining this with my job will go. For now, I’ll follow the schedule intuitively, as I have been following other schedules intuitively – such as the one that is making me finish this post. I’ve made the agreement with myself, that I’ll determine what my pace for this schedule is, after three weeks of working.

A huge time-saver will be quitting diary posts! It will definitely upgrade my efficiency in the project and in my business in general…

A fixed income is unmissable in this, since I need to take care of myself, while doing all of the things on that list. I wonder if there’s an alternative to working 32+ hours per week on payroll… It’s exhaustion for no reason, actually, since what I qualify for, diploma-wise, is far from what I actually can do. I can’t think of any alternatives to earn, besides publishing books, but if I find one, it would become an adjustment (that will make me incredibly happy).

I hope I’ll find an investor, so that I can turn the research project for our truth and this brand, into a documentary 🙂 .

Step 4: Supporting Investors and/or Experts

[Personal: inevitable external factors]

A crucial influence for the success of my business, is the endorsement of experts and investors. I’m working towards a form of global change that will add a lot to life as we know it now. Without experts regarding to it as such, it won’t be seen as that. If the right people endorse it, its brand will be established with ease.

When it comes to investors, I prefer the financial support of a supporting expert, instead of approaching an organization that is specialized in investing. It’s far easier to explain my business concept to someone who is specialized in the fields I want to add something to, and win his or her appreciation, than to explain everything from scratch and why it’s guaranteed that I’ll earn your investment back. Money is not my focus. Otherwise I would have approached everything differently. I want to make a real change…

The only place I can think of using to find someone to financially support my business, is the internet… So that is where I’ll initiate my search, once my sample is finished. Secretly, I hope that the right people will stumble upon my website and offer their support…

A fixed income is still not guaranteed, since I depend on someone else’s judgment, but either way, I have a clear path to finishing Project Nosce Te Ipsum. Because of potential patents et cetera, not everything has been fully defined, but I hope this was a useful read 🙂 .

xxx


I often make notes in the text, while I’m drafting it. Here are some of the notes of Volta’s Plan B in Practice:

  1. Drafting still 
  2. Macroeconomics: A model of our global system in full detail? Source: The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes = part 1 [Now there are digital media and crypto currencies]
  3. Part 2: How do financial shifts work? (The details of investment banking) Source: I don’t know where to exactly find the answers to this, but, apparently, investment banking started with that VOC piracy business… Oh my god, the Netherlands lie far under the water level of the sea, so doing business with it is always a risk… And here is where it started… This makes me wonder if the WIC – the indirect reason why I was born in the Netherlands (is ancient slave trade) – was also on the trading market… The WIC, The Dutch West India Company by Gerard Koot, History department, University of Massachusetts Dartmouth (2015) shows me it does… Okay, I want to know everything. This is related to my origin.
  4. I must say that I’m so very shocked about this. The VOC and the WIC were both multinationals owned by the state, which earned from unethical things, such as piracy and slave trade. And to then learn that the way we know (public) stock trading today, started there, and that this is internationally known – probably as showpiece of this country… I just didn’t expect that the origin of trading would be something that lies so close to my heart, and that it would be based on something that I find unethical.
  5. This seems like a good source for the theoretical aspect:  J.M. Keynes, “Foreign investments and national advantage”. Even though this was not part of the plan, I’m very curious about the historical aspect, too… The finances of the VOC and WIC are unmissable in this.
  6. Part 3: Study on (big media) PR influence on macroeconomics (and its beneficiaries)
  7. Part 4: Categories of “breaking news” and its cycle [I now think that this is irrelevant, because a domino effect is a domino effect, no matter what happens]
  8. Part 5: What is our political direction? Whatever it is in detail, it’s destroying the Earth, and I want to offer you an alternative that doesn’t induce that. + Why our current system causes damage to the earth and change is inevitable. [The domino effect of domino effects. I think we’re facing a catastrophe.
  9. Politics: What’s the “political construction” (trias politica ish) of every “big player” in the world? And what are their comparative advantages? 
  10. I’m still drafting this post. It will become a very important piece, since it’s not only making the content of my newest book more clear. It will also include my next steps. This will be my cheat sheet, for the time to come, so that I won’t lose track of where I’m heading, as I will hand over my free time to an employer, and occupy myself with some not-related-to-any-institute self-study. And hopefully writing some texts… [If you have any books you would like to recommend to me, pleaseee let me know! As I write this post, I still haven’t definitively decided on what to study first… And what sources to use for that, et cetera…] I’ll be drawing diagram-ish things in this post 😀 [If you’re new: I always publish my drafts, because I like to show you my process 🙂 ]

I started writing this post on the 11th of February. That’s why in other posts I already refer to it, while it was not done yet.


 

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Sunday, February 3, 2019

02:44 (AM) 

I’m in bed now. After sleeping, I want to touch on what happens to me during small talk, the emotional pain from seeing my relatives, a dream so big that I fear to share it with my Graeynissis because I’m afraid they’ll say no, Volta and what I call human vultures. 

Sweet Dreams ♥

I love you ♥

xxx

13:39 (01:39 PM) 

Hiii :D♥

How’s your weekendd? 🙂

Mine is all right. I’m still in bed haha…. I’ll get up to do some pre-eating and “making” croissants soon. First, I’d like to start on what I wanted to say about small talk. 

When I’m not talking, I’m always thinking deeply, in a very concentrated state.  The creative challenge in creating a new world, is always on my mind. In silence, I try to combine the concepts I know and/or have reasoned out, and try to think of them put together, to mentally simulate that, and think of if it would last as the fundament of a new world. 

Then having to let go of my train of thought, to engage in small talk, always makes me a little tense, because I worry if I’ll remember where to pick up, where I left off, when the conversation is over. 

For example, I try to simulate if it’s financially healthy for both sides (so “Planet Earth” and “Planet Fang” (on the same soil(?))), when Planet Fang buys the earthly houses of its citizens, to give them Fangia (its valuta) to spend (not to buy a new house, because they get that for free), and sells, rents out or uses those houses for whatever purpose, and Planet Fang’s bank is where everyone deposits all they have, and it becomes “a collective account”. How do we then not make Planet Earth go bankrupt, how should spending restrictions for that account be stated, would people enjoy this ride… (I need sexy Graeyniss sexy expertise to answer my questions with certainty!!!) That’s what my brain is semi-working on, but then, mid reasoning process… Things like  “Look at this funny video!” or “I’ll give you some advice on life, wrapped in a story about myself,” make me have to switch up what I use my brain for. 

There are the most loving intentions behind it, I know that, and I love my people for that, but it’s a distraction from something that is needed and necessary for survival…

Okayy I’m going to brush my teeth and eat. Meanwhile, check this out 😀 : [haha that distracting choice of words is meant as a joke]

Haha why do I never make it to a leaderboard? Spider solitaire is addictive!

~~~

19:45 (07:45 PM)

Meoww I wonder what you want to read about. Or what you like to read about. That’s what I want to write. I bet that’s not the topics I listed in the beginning of this post. 

But to quickly stick to my words: the acting casual, as if nothing was going on and it’s normal that I don’t want to live at home, was painful. 

We should unplug all of our intellectual capital and assets out of the current system and independently create a system of our own, with our Graeyniss for Graeyniss business (land).

I want to record some Graeynissis talking about Volta, to increase sales… It sounds like the only way… It also sounds like sexy fun 😀 . To have Graeynissis talk about it, is all I write for, truthfully. 

I need a solution to these “Ayy gurl where you goin’? What’s yo number?” type of people I, for some weird reason, can’t say “No please just fucking leave me alone,” to. They’re really like vultures in a way. Waiting until the prey is unaccompanied by another male. Some arm candy to fend them off and to be less lonely. I permanently don’t want to sleep alone anymore 🙂 . 

This is not bad… I screenshotted this earlier today, because I thought of sharing this “accomplishment” hahaha. I should add this to my curriculum vitae HAHA just kidding.

~~~

23:26 (11:26 PM) 

Meoww I’m off to bed. I hope tomorrow will bring me good news. I have no idea in what format I’ll be given my news. But this is the only way I have to hear something. Usually my ways of reaching out can be ignored, when they’re too different from the standard procedures, but in this case, I am entitled to hear anything about it. I don’t know how my case is interpreted from someone I don’t know personally, and usually I just don’t hear anything, but this time it would be not following the procedure, if I were ignored. 

Responding to my request requires a lot of creativity! Because it stems from pure creativity. I wonder how the respondent(s) will approach it. I hope I’ll be reading a lot of positive words. A lotttt of words. It will make my heart very happy.

Meoww I’m off to bed 

Good night 

I love you 

xxx – 

Blog, Online Diary, Reflections

Thursday, January 31, 2019

12:25 (PM) 

Good afternoon ♥

I’m very glad that the marketing for Volta, in my own “(currently online) empire to be”, is visible everywhere. As for other (social) media marketing… My budget and the audience I’ve been reaching with it, make me prefer to seek other methods to promote it. I’d be satisfied if I can get 10 Graeynissis to read it… And then hope that they see my potential and want to ride this wave with me… 

Meoww as for promoting it in my own social circle… I’m not looking forward to commentary… Especially because with many, our philosophies differ so much… If I’d summarize this very abstractly, even though most of us don’t identity ourselves with a religion, the view on determinism falls within the same abstract. They’re Christians for believing that prosperity has already been initiated [“de Messias is al geweest”] and that life is now good enough and that it will stay that way. I’m Jewish (not really read in on the scripture to say that I’m an expert on this, but this is abstract, so) for saying that real prosperity is yet to come. [“De Messias moet nog komen”.] I consider this whole thing where these “Christians” [it includes the agnosts and atheists who also believe that life is this fixed routine] refer to me as a schizophrenic, because of what I believe in, and we still spend time together, the way the Dutch saying “Twee geloven op een kussen, daar slaapt de Duivel tussen,” is interpreted. It causes a lot of disagreements, which are not healthy for me (and them, but mostly for me, because I keep my 10000001 arguments why I disagree, to myself, because my words are rarely understood), so in my view it’s best to go our separate ways, and I’m not proud of the way I’ve brought the message, but our views differ too much to discuss it. I don’t want to take distance from every single person I’ve ever met, I guess, but for sure a good 95% of them. I believe that I don’t want to distance myself from Jam and Eli. They seem people who could live according to my belief. I for sure don’t want every single being to do that. I value quality and good hearts. They’re one of the veryyyyyyy few people who haven’t hurt me. Maybe Viktor also… 

To me, that’s enough humans for the ride, because the process of deconstructing someone’s pessimism about our universal future is suc a fucking annoying and dreadful draining of my own energy, I prefer to only “reward” those who have kept my heart apart to the largest extent, for this. Other than that, I want my life to be all Graeyniss 😻. The types of Graeynissis who can hear me reason, and those who are positively interested (not gaining information to later ridicule it) in it, who are open to my belief. I can only try get along with someone who has the same belief as I. A fucking way overused overrated counter argument here would be: “But you should get to know all kinds of people.” I know all kinds of people, and that’s exactly why I can now say that I want to stop seeing most of them, with the outmost certainty. 

If you’d excuse me… I have some berries to pick up [*semi-subtle camera zooming in while putting on sunglasses* haha that’s a joke] so I need to shower and eat and stuff… I’ll be back [HAHA] xxx

~~~

19:23 (07:23 PM) 

Meoow I have my berries 😻 .

Meoow the taste of this reminds me of when I was little

And I made pasta, because she who owns the house is not feeling well. I used salmon, spinach, white wine, thyme, oregano, creme fraîche, aromat, unions and garlic. 

It was tasty 🙂

I want to be in cuddle-mode to tell you the rest of the things I want to tell you xxxx

~~~

Blog, Drafts, Popular Posts, Reflections

What Not to Include in a Motivation Letter

Everything I do is very controversial. Choosing this header image of an old picture on which I do not smile, for example, could easily be misunderstood. This time, that is by means of “showing what not to do”. It is even more because I am so tired of all of those “rules” we need to follow to not be judged negatively (online). Line spacing, what to not show on the background of a picture, simplifications, consistent grammar formats…. I’m breaking a lot of those rules, because I’m tired of them. There are so many of those them, that there is almost no room for real creativity anymore.

It is one of the reasons why I have no other option but to go back to the university – FAST(!!!!) – and attempt to be alternatively educated. By alternatively educated, I mean being allowed to show my understanding of  the course material, by (creatively) writing essays and other forms of prose [unless you prefer poems 🙂 ], instead of doing the dreadful homework questions and discussing homework questions during a class [a booklet with explained answers is much easier for me 🙁 ]. While writing my motivation letter, I thought of so many truths of mine, which I wanted to mention, but they do not fit into the “I need to come off as a brave student, who will get very high grades and not ask too much of your attention”-scope that would make me admissible. What I truly want – freedom in education and some Graeynissis to work with and befriend – does not even fit that scope. So I decided to “break the rules” (especially that of the maximum of 400 words) and turn it into a “alternative education meets business”-proposal.

What not to include in that motivation letter, is, according to the rules, everything I have written in mine. That does not have to instantly mean that I will be rejected… I still have to submit it! As I am writing this, I still need to proofread it for the last time. (It’s now 00:36 (12:36 AM) on the 20th of January, but I saved this draft earlier than that, so the publication date is the 19th.) When I’m done, I’ll show it to you, in this same article :).

By means of understanding my format: the assignment for the motivation letter was to, in 400 words or less, tell something about your social methods to integrate in an international environment, give three reasons why to study that exact program in that exact city and mention something about your goals after the course. I start with my goals, because that is my most important reason to want to study that program, and it was an easier way to start about my business and how I could blend that in with my study.

It’s now 02:58 (AM) and I have fully submitted my application… (Sometimes I just wish that I was a simple student with high grades. That gives a lot more certainty in life.) When I hear any news about it, you will be the first to know! (By keeping up with my diary from here.)

Here is my motivation letter (of 2561 words…) [this version is without indents]:

A Truly One-of-a-Kind Incentive

If there is one thing that life has taught me the hard way, in the past two years of my existence, it is that achieving my future goals, which will make me a happy and successful person, who will then not have tachycardia anymore, is impossible, without at least a bachelor’s degree from a good, internationally oriented university.

Within ten years from now, my alternative sole proprietorship in publishing, should be an internationally acknowledged multinational source of (new) knowledge and wisdom. The brand of D.O.C.I.S. International should deliver an acceptable balance between (independent) research and entertainment (both challenging and approachable). Many ideas of mine, for research (most of it relates to developing a more eco-friendly economic system), I also intend to put into practice, within that same span of time.

Plenty of reasons have encouraged me to apply for the double bachelor in Economics and Econometrics at the only internationally acknowledged university in Rotterdam.

Firstly, the Erasmus School of Economics is very well-ranked, so this is most certainly a step in the right direction, when it comes to achieving my acknowledgement and goals. If I do not become successful in doing business, I now know with beyond full certainty, that my future lies in the world of academics. (This is what I realized, after having experienced the “traditional” minimum wage 40-hours-work-week, while being a student at The Open University. To me, being happy is impossible without a real challenge that includes diversity, and only around ambitious great thinkers, I can truly be myself. Only at the university, I might be able to find some of those people, I have noticed.)

Secondly, it is a strong desire of mine, to be able to make my own mathematical models. And it is my wish to learn all about Behavioral Economics (and Evolutionary Economics… and “international government” related finance), for many of my research ideas.

Finally, I want to finish what I started, back in 2016, but want to aim higher than I did before. I want to greatly distinguish myself. My original intention was to do this by becoming successful with the PR business I funded, right when the first year of the International Bachelor in Economics and Business Economics started. Due to the effort my sole proprietorship required from me, as well as some personal circumstances, the lack of time to study was so severe that my results at the University did not resemble my competence, so that led to the decision of me ending my short life as a full-time student. The decision was based on what could make me successful quicker, due to the limited time to calmly focus available, and my impatience for success and (financial) independency.

Now, the greatness of my endeavor is one of the factors that has led to me being diagnosed with schizophrenia, and those who once said that they care about me, turning their backs against me, altogether at once. With the diagnosis, I do not and never will agree. I believe in what I stand for and no shrink or deadly cocktail of antipsychotics will ever be able to change that. What should change is that the “You say you want to do all of these great things, but you couldn’t even finish your first year at the Erasmus University [so just get a job and a small apartment]”-argument still exists today. No one understands my decision – not obligation – to end my studies. But maybe after graduating cum laude and proving that accomplishing my goals really is possible, by showing my strategies in practice, that argument will not be valid anymore and – maybe after also having obtained something in Law and clarifying my unsolved and suppressed case in official terms – that awful diagnosis could be taken out of my files, and hopefully something against the horrifying inhumanity of the psychiatric system could be put in motion. Then earning enough to distance myself from those who have hurt me, might be possible, too.

(I would also like to finish the (concept of the) research project, Dr. Crutzen and I spoke of, after I had quit my studies, which included ideas for an extensive PR campaign, for which I now have a set of much better suggestions. But talking about that out loud [the only reason why I did that, was because I was forced to] was the main factor that made me end up with that absurd diagnosis (“because professors do not talk to drop-outs” (and brain-to-brain communication cannot exist…)), which is why I write this in between brackets, with much hesitance, and I have not been able to reach him in the physical realm ever since, and I am still stuck with so many questions, ever since I ran away from home because of the endless psychiatric surveillance against my will and my parents got us hunted by police [an awful move that damaged the reputation of me [it made me unsubscribe my PR business L], him and (indirectly) the university [I do not know what exact news went viral. All I know is some vague story people told me months later], which should never have happened, because the drama was solely between me and my parents, who forbade me to do business with him at the very beginning, for no legitimate reason!], which makes me feel sad, lonely and unsafe constantly, which contributes to my tachycardia. I do not understand why he does not respond to my e-mails anymore… I guess our contact would make more sense if I were a student and/or his research apprentice, and my intelligence were acknowledged. (He does not lecture the double bachelor program, but I find that I should aim higher than I did last time, when it comes to education, and do this for myself, even though…))

International environments in the city where I grew up in, are my specialty! I know a lot about the history of the city and I know all about fun locations to visit (even outside Rotterdam), so for the basics of being new in a city, I make up a very good and comfortable guide. This is what I noticed at the Eureka Week in 2016, where I easily made friends (even with people who studied completely different programs (including a master student in finance)).

Other proofs of my ability to smoothly function in an environment with people from very different backgrounds, are that when I was a student at The Open University, last year, I have spent a lot of time travelling the world (by myself), and everywhere I went, I easily met new people; my business aspirations are very international, so my eyes are always open, seeking for (useful) international contacts; and being of the third generation of my family here in the Netherlands, as well as having attended a multicultural gymnasium (school) in the city center of Rotterdam, I know all about being foreign in a foreign country (even though I was born here and Surinam is a former Dutch colony, I am often still considered foreign) and being around foreign people.

What, to me, is even more interesting than bonding with bachelor students, is bonding with anyone else up the academic ladder. The higher, the better. They are part of my target audience (and probably one of the few people, able to actually understand what I say). A better way to combine my learning process with my business aspirations, while making the content of my personal blog (LilFangs.com) – updated daily – a lot more fun, would, for example, be by writing essays about the contents of the course subjects, while getting to know all about my target audience and their aspirations. (Are you looking for a publisher who wants to go the extra mile for you? 🙂 )

There are so many ideas I have for a thesis, that that is the only part that truly excites me about studying until I am old and grey, living after my aspirations for a career in research. It would be amazing if I were allowed to write a (set of) book(s) of essays [including examples of calculations and plots from my personal life. From Edgeworth boxes, to financial statements, to… concepts that will be completely new to me], as proof that I have the knowledge that will suit my future title(s), followed by my dream thesis, within a period of shorter than four years, because without that acknowledgement, it is not possible for my business to thrive, and I currently do not even have a place to call home. I would like to be able to call myself successful before I am 25, and I wish to be able to afford to live in a climate that is less cold and ecologically dangerous.

The past two years of my life, let me realize that nowhere else in life, there is a comfortable environment where I can truly be myself and receive the right support, on my very unconventional path. Only a university can be my safe haven. With the alternative path of education, proposed in this (alternative) motivation letter, it could be made possible for me to learn more independently, develop my creativity further and continue to actively chase my dreams. The scope of my goals touches on so many fields that, truthfully, with my essays, I would love to cover every subject the University offers (and more…).

One particular research interest of mine, lies in the city where the university is located at. It relates to eustasy (speaking of ecologically dangerous) and evacuation – not necessarily something for Economics and Econometrics, but it is a very heavyweight aspect of “my “identity”” [or just being born in the wrong country… If you are Dutch and reading this… The concept of identity lies beyond location, I believe, so if this country floods and we will live elsewhere, only that heroic and historic journey defines your identity…]. The information I need about this – for future survival and peace of mind – is not easy to find as written text, because all of the public becoming aware of it (again) could lead to chaos. It lives forward in individuals, who are hard to find, but I hope to be able to find some of them at the Erasmus University.

Something I have been dreaming about, is doing this “research meets business meets entertainment meets actively changing the world”-project I have been having in mind for a very long time. To start to define it here would turn this motivation letter into a book, and to receive a “no” for it after all of that effort and thinking about it, would break my heart, so for now I am keeping it to myself, by means of limiting my potential heartache. (But it is all over my blog, so you can read all about it, if you are interested. (I really hope you are!))

What I would love to know even more than if I am considered the right student for a double bachelor in Economics and Econometrics, is if the University is open to giving me permission to follow the alternative route, proposed in this motivation letter? If that is so, I would love to meet in person, with those who are willing to accept me as his/her apprentice, to discuss the details of it.

Excuse my exceeding of the maximum amount of words! And the overly frequent use of brackets… This happened because I had to emphasize the true incomparable uniqueness of my case and its many reasons why, the slight powerlessness my personal situation brings, as well as that I truthfully do not want to go back to the high-school-like routine with (mandatory) classes and homework and uninterested students, having no clue what they want in life, while I am so much further and getting a grade for answering fixed questions, while the knowledge is so much more fun in practice, and then comparing myself to others, and then keeping that up post post-doc level…

There are no guidelines for the type of request that I have sent you, because it seems like no one else has done this before (either). But enrolling as a student, seems the only way to start a conversation about this. I just want to [(for example) obtain as much as a “simple” letter of recommendation for my ability to] do (independent) research and I am very certain that only I am the perfect apprentice for that. The double bachelor starts in September, but I prefer to start tomorrow…

Apprentices are extremely old-school… That will be indirect (neo-)neo-neoclassicism! Accepting me as one will make not only me stand out. It will be great for the University as well. (We could make 2017’s bad publicity undone…) Especially for everyone involved in this unique process, because ultimately, we will be writing the future’s history. This step is so one-of-a-kind, and its merit will literally change the world, because that is my [may I say “our”?] endeavor!

If I am admitted to the Erasmus University (again), I will quit my studies at The Open University, where I am currently still registered, without having enrolled in any modules (because I cannot afford any).

If learning directly from the master – for my questions are too specific and can be answered by no one else – is not an option, then please forget that I ever proposed that and please forget my thoughts about the student-life. This is a literal do or die, to me, so if my early shot at official research is off the table, I will bravely fold myself in my desk chair [but first I will have to magically get the money and space to buy a proper chair and a reasonable desk (and clothing that will make me feel confident and look representative) hahaha please helppp… my basic needs… (The household’s income is too high to apply for a scholarship, but I am in debt, with zero real support, and that will get worse, with that tuition fee (loan)…)] and force myself to memorize every single thing, and answer every single homework question, like my life depends on it. Because it literally does. My self-constructed house on my independent island, far away from this barbarian world, is not going to fund and govern itself…

Thank you so much for reading my motivation letter. I hope my publishing company will be of great service to you, in the (near) future. Because I want (alternative) research publishing to be one of my specialties, success is not possible without the support of a good university.

For further correspondence: my business e-mail address d.elia@docis.international is currently the mailbox with the least incoming e-mails [long story…], and I do not want to risk missing out on any messages sent by you. (This was also what I was trying to change my e-mail address to in Studielink, but only my former account credentials are accepted. Probably because this all goes via my old student number, with the e-mail address I used at that time…) My mobile phone number is +31618579724, in case anyone is interested in phoning (or texting) me. There are so many things I want to explain and mention, still! That is why this article continues, where this letter stops [this is a link]. I look forward to a time with only positive memories and fruitful (new) knowledge 🙂 .

~~~

It includes a lot of personal drama – consciously emphasized with the and … and … and [it is a lot and it is not elaborated on] – which I have mentioned, because this burden is ruining my life and nonsense like this has been affecting my study focus all my life. Including it feels like such a major “breaking the rules” (negatively), but I can’t help that I am in this situation 🙁 . A full-time occupation at the University, accompanied by sweet Graeynissis, would solve all of that at once, for all eternity. There is nothing else I want in life. (Yeah besides emigrating to some place sunny and ecologically safe, together with my Graeynissis… And the tangibles of that Thesis…)

Blog, Reflections

The Reform’s Reform

The success of a(n online) fundraiser was a method for quickly facilitating the safety related reform, which is very much needed (not only because of eustasy) and not openly discussed enough. [Faaaaaaar from enough!]

However, quickly after setting it up, I took it down again. Here are my reasons for it:

  • From my heavily fluctuating “bounce rate”, I see that most people who read on this website read for the sake of reading and not for the sake of interaction and/or engagement. I don’t like hyping something on here, without any participation. That’s like organizing a big party, without anyone showing up…
  • With the budget and limited amount of time, it can’t be guaranteed that everyone who chips in, can be guaranteed access to my solutions. Also, I value the conservation of quality and don’t want to simplify my content.
  • If my solutions will really be put into practice, I think the (financial) preparation thereof should be done in person, instead of online. I prefer a real-life fundraiser. Not only because it looks way cooler in the history books… It’s also way more fun! 🙂 ♥

So – especially now that I’m giving in to my lack of success forcing me to become a full-time (well-ranked university) student again – my strategy has now changed to outing my strategy as a publisher, while I don’t have any publicists other than myself yet. I wanted to wait with broadcasting that, until having found the right people to publish for (more than one…). But the way my life currently is, indirectly leaves me no other option than to “enter full publisher’s mode” already.

The most important and uncertain aspect of my endeavor – it is and always has been – is finding useful and ambitious contacts, who truly believe in my endeavor, in such a way that they’re willing to sacrifice some (time and/or money, like I do) for it. I’ve experienced far too many people saying that they stand behind what I do, who truthfully are just a bunch of opportunists, who are waiting to lift along on my success, the way vultures wait for the abandonment of a lifeless body.

I hope going back to a traditional university, will work in my advantage. By that, I mean that I hope it will get me in touch with people from “the top of the ladder”. Of the student life – the routine and superficiality – I’m not at all a fan, but it seems inevitable. Unless I’m allowed to become a (or the) researcher’s apprentice (of a couple of researchers) and write some “theses”, in exchange for a letter of recommendation or something… [Or the title of Illuminatus Intelligens .]

I care about my endeavor far more than I care about paying off my debts, guaranteeing myself of a monthly income and giving myself a reason to go outside every day. But with the right people, that could easily go hand-in-hand, and that would make me the happiest person alive. It might also cure my tachycardia (and aortic insufficiency¿) !

Blog, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Recipes, Reflections

Thursday, January 17, 2019

00:21 (12:21 AM) 

The new home page of the D.O.C.I.S. International website is done 😀 . Besides the “this website is being edited”, which I’ll take away when I’m done with all pages. 

I love that I’m finally outing my publisher’s approach! The reason why I kept waiting – and actually sort of still should be waiting – was because I wanted to have more than one publicist [now it’s only me ahahahah], before I transformed my site to that format. With those almost (to be) empty publicists [because saying “propagandist” is too controversial (apparently mainstream people will think that you’re evil when you use this term… I guess the annoyance from that stupidity secretly also made me very…), but when it comes to the diversity of our content, it feels like that word covers the load a lot better] and publications pages, I worry about coming off as a lot less than I can be. But at least now it’s very openly clear that I intend to publish for not only myself. And that I’m attempting to build an empire.

The reason why I’m doing it now, is because I might find suitable publicists at the university 🙂 . I won’t publish a “51 shades of grey” [that’s a joke for a new book’s title… That’s how I find how creativity looks these days… With my unique approach, I hope to raise the bar…] or anything else in that meaningless category of entertainment. You can go to any other publisher in the world for that. Knowledge and wisdom – wisdom being my specialty [because to me, wisdom > knowledge and I detest citing other people’s findings/philosophy] – are the fundaments of D.O.C.I.S. International as an exclusive brand. 

I say “at the university”, because that abstract use of words don’t show that when it comes to finding the right people, there’s so much uncertainty. Also, from many experiences, I’m quite certain that I should not target students for this. Not only because many of them are actually not independent thinkers (it sometimes just seems like that, because they memorize other people’s content in such a way that they start to consider it part of their identity (and then there are superficial people who are worse)). Also because for the size of the endeavor behind my business, I need people who truly know how life works, or at least I need them to know what their purpose in life is (because I need to know what would make them happy after the shift). 

But real Graeynissis are so hard to reach 🙁 . I hope being a student will work in my advantage. I hope I’ll even be allowed to just have a personal list of Graeynissis to approach for my thesis [just give me a letter of recommendation or something… I won’t survive the student experience until post-doc level…], who would also like to become my publicists, and skip out on all of the student mental slavery nonsense (kan jij niets aan doen…). We could even make a short series of videos about how we’ll establish everything 🙂 . Meooow! 😻

Here are some pictures I’d like to share:

In my diary post of two days ago, I mentioned that I was going to make soup. I made this picture to insert it in the article, but I never did. I used okra, plantain, some yam, celery, unions and a tomato. 

Today, I made these shrimp. I let them rest overnight, in a marinade of ketjap manis and thyme. The next day (today), I added garlic (because I had to buy it, but the best would be to let them chill in that, too). I used griesmeel and paneer (“breadcrumbs” (but they’re in a carton package…)) instead of flour and paneer, because there wasn’t any and it’s a waste of buying it, if it will never be used for anything else [but now I’m in the mood for pancakes… I’m still broke as fuck, though……..]

They were veryyy tastyy

My “natural” approach to attempting to cure a sore throat… It’s going a bit better already 🙂 . But swallowing still hurts a lot… Talking luckily doesn’t (that much) anymore 🙂

Something really random that happend today, was that I got a call from some telemarketeer who wanted get me in touch with this agency of brokers. [That stupid KvK registration of mine gets me phone calls like that.]  And me expressing my “I don’t feel comfortable with gambling. It might be a hype now, but I don’t believe that we’ll go on like this forever. The value is fictive,” didn’t make her say: “Okay. Bye.” “Arguments” for were: “But with these expert brokers, you can make great profits!” “How would you find it if in future, we would all be trading instead of working?” Of course, every sheep would say: “Yay! Infinite money and infinite watching movies!” I said: “I would kill myself.” 

She was trying to get me to click a link she mailed me and sign up for something. For some reason, I really just can’t hang up in someone else’s ear. Even not when even my fucking heart (rate) wants it. I ended up obeying her orders and I was transferred to one of her experts – whose name is very cool 🙂 – who was trying to get me to buy Amazon shares. Because they’re expecting great appreciation in the market for them. (I believe that in the end, it’s the influence of the media, indirectly incentivizing people to anticipate on the prediction, which causes the actual appreciation.)

[To me, mathematics > statistics…] I found his phone lecture on analysis of those “market volatility boxplots” [is how I’ll summarize it, because I suck at memorizing jargon] very interesting. At some point, I said that I would like to try it with ten euros. At the beginning of the conversation, he told me to download AnyDesk – a “controlling your desktop from a distance” application. After some hesitation – just like with the telemarkeer who started the whole thing… I fucking hate that this forcing people to do shit is found normal in our society – I did “make it happen” [hahahahahahaha… It’s funny because I think uni Graeynissis are Cuddle] and then suddenly, while 30 minutes ago I was busy paneering shrimp (unfinished, because I wasn’t able to just hang up), someone I don’t know, who spoke English with a (sexy) foreign accent [but where he was from, I couldn’t tell… Eastern Europe somewhere…], was drawing lines on a series of plots he opened on my laptop screen. 

When I gave in with the ten euros, he opened a screen to sign up on some trading website and asked me to fill it out. The form included a promotion code area and fields for my credit card number and the security code. All of my instincts told me that I shouldn’t show that information to anyone, but I still did it. He filled out a deposit of €1000. I told him that it wasn’t going to work, because I don’t have that much money literally anywhere – I really don’t understand why people always assume that I have money. 

I told him that I could deposit ten euros (haha) on my prepaid credit card. When I showed him my debit account [it has -€487,57, my limit is -€500 and I have no income (still I would truthfully rather die than do the routine with fixed tasks and colleagues thing again… Never again [hi uni], thanks 🙂 )]. He tried to up my limit, but I told him that changing a limit is only possible when you’re out of the red. Of course people never believe my word and it had to be tried first. And when my brokeness was confirmed – because what’s a broker’s profit with a deposit of ten euros – the conversation was ended. I ended the screen sharing and deleted the AnyDesk application right after, and “ran” CCleaner… 

I have such mixed feelings about trading. That ten euros was because since the moment I started to give in to that telemarketeer, I started to think: Yes, I know it will all collapse one day. But everyone is milking it right now. Why should I keep myself from it? It might get me out of trouble… (But it will never get me the profits I need anyway. That ten euros…. Hahaha that would all vanish to paying all of the parties in between, anyway.)

Such an unethical thought… I’m glad I still have my last ten euros 🙂 . Please become my publicist… Yeaah another reason why I waited with the format of my business website, was because I wanted to be able to invest in your brand, as a business, by means of paying for your (initial) campaign, and then earning from a small share of what your campaign will generate for you. Now it will be the opposite… So I’ll be your publisher – so basically all I offer is 100% of my brainpower and my skills, but no money (yet) – but you’ll very unfortunately have to do the initial investment yourself… You won’t regret that part of your full independence, though! (And that in the beginning we might have to outsource instead of be full monopolists… The company is still “in its baby shoes”. But I love what’s ahead of us! ♥)

More about this after waking up…! “Tomorrow” doesn’t apply, because it’s now 02:19 AM, but I still “”need” to do my long sleep” otherwise I [= actually the daylight] might [make me¿] feel like shit.  I wonder if sleep, in general, really is necessary? Haha oh yess but of course I don’t want to go against “science”. Just like “the Earth is round”. [I have never seen that in real life, “with my naked eyes”, so…]

“Break of screen gazing” applies better than “sleeping”, I guess. I’m just chilling with my Head Cuddle and sometimes take a nap. Never do I sleep longer than 4 hours in a row. 

Meow

Good night

I love you! ♥

xxx

13:48 (01:48 PM) 

My Cuddle ♥

I hope your day is Cuddle 🙂 . I would like to change my statement about not sleeping longer than 4 hours in a row: I do sleep longer than that, when I have a (long) dream.  I want to make a drawing of what I saw, again! (The moon part…) It was about that humans cultivated the moon’s landscape (its craters were changed into very big patterns) and that on the night the moon, by changing itself into text for short periods of time, announced that it was going to shoot fire from the sky, which was going to make all water of fire (“because moon fire is veryy hott”), I was staying in Amsterdam and the family friends who own the house I live in (with them), were on a holiday on the moon [with my family], so I was here chilling with their son [tripping about that my parents’ house is next to water and all of my grandfather’s books would burn… (All houses seemed larger in my dream.)]. After dinner and playing Halo in his room, I suddenly kissed him…? I felt my conscious body’s heart’s distress [my dreams are always lucid], being in that This could lead to an “Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing?” and a great dose of heartache afterwards, or being pleasantly surprised…? worry. And then, the rest of the dream, we were kissing? There wasn’t even moon fire to notice? Haha I feared I was going to be stuck in some nightmare, but it was quite a fun dream 😋. I woke up slightly past twelve AM (for the first time in a long time).

Now I’m going to eat, write [(featuring pen and paper) by means of creating an overview for my websites and motivation letter], shower and wash my hair, and then work on my business website (and motivation letter, hoping that I can finish it all, today…). [You should know that I fall in love very easily, but never out this (first). And that I love too many people to have a traditional relationship (ever again). I hope my future life will include a lot of true love and a lot of nerdy things.] Meow 😸 xxxxxxx. 

~~~

15:56 (03:56 PM) 

A change of plans made me write this article. I’m still in bed… Having my all-seasons blanket from “home” here, and a more convenient room temperature, allow me to sleep with only my panties on again (super yay :D). 

If this were my own home and I were by myself, I would enter the kitchen wearing only my panties, as well. But it isn’t and there are guests downstairs. I might not be able to resist socializing with the family friends’ (steph-)grandchildren, but that would mean that I, again, am another day away from completing my admission. 

I’ve been thinking of writing a What not to write in an motivation letter post and including that in my admission letter, as a link. That’s because I won’t be able to say all that I want to say, in that letter of max 400 words, and there are things “I want the university to know” [haha enallage¿ ooh no personification haha. My babyy ♥], while those are officially not things that will make someone say: “She will be an amazing student!” (Truthfully, I doubt if I’ll survive the dreadful routine and suicidal thoughts that come with being a full time student who has to attend 70% of all tutorials and has to make homework and stuff… But my life depends on it, so failure is not an option (anymore)…) 

So I’m now going to quickly shower, while playing music (as usual, by the way) [and hope that my hunger and the heat from the shower won’t make me pass out], postpone washing my hair with another day (because twisting my afro takes time too haha eww), and go downstairs – with intentions of binge eating… Will be starting my day with dinner…? x_x And then I’ll see if I’ll be able to concentrate on working. My desk is, as it is in every place I’ve ever lived in: the dinner table. I need a sexy office :D.

~~~

16:15 (04:15 PM) 

By the way:

Sort of not bad…. Especially after quitting all other forms of social media, aside from ASKfm

Not bad…?

But still no people reaching out to me or anything, so meooow 😿😾. Okayy now I’m really going to shower xxxxxxxxxxxx

~~~

Blog, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Monday, January 7, 2019

02:11 (AM) 

Meow excuse my delay. I’m tired and that makes me slow 🙁 . I think it’s the most healthy to wait with what I wanted to share with you – it’s a lot of thoughts – until I’ve had some better rest. Then I’ll also not feel like rushing it. 

I’m in bed now, wearing socks until my feet get warm [I wish I had a warm body to cuddle [klinkt het alsof ik over een lijk praat? HAHAHA dat bedoel ik niet. I’m talking about finding Cuddle loveee] to replace my socks with… Would you truly love to warm my feet? Meoow people like that are almost extinct and very hard to find.] and since I can’t fall asleep with cold feet, I can still keep you company, until my legs don’t end with these size 41 ice cubes anymore. 

Laking makes it warmer underneath the sheets, too 🙂 . Meoow. I don’t know if my frequency (and slight dependence) is(/are)  healthy, though…

I’ll set my alarm for 10 o’clock, because to cancel a phycisians appointment without being charged for it, you need to do that 24 hours in advance. I’m also going to ask what the fuck ze gedeclareerd hebben, since I haven’t seen a doctor in this fucking country since 2017. And then I’ll call doctor Cuddle’s practice [“the main practice he works at” applies better, but that’s more typing] and ask when he’s available. I might be able to go there again now that my mother is willing to bring me there. The problem is that she seems not appreciative of me wanting to use the findings from Germany for my legal case regarding my emotional and physical damage, as a result of the authoritarian psychopaths destroying my life. 

I feel another wave of powerlessness in that… I need justice. And money 🙁 . The type of pillow I need, which will cause my neck to not hurt – I think that might be the cause of my headache – is not cheappp. 

Are there any volunteers who are very eager to help me clear my name and road trip to doctor Cuddle’s practice with me? Because I will be stressed the fuck out all of the time if I have to go there with someone who just wants to see if I’m sane or not and then try to get me to that heartless Dutch phycisian of mine. Or any other Dutch phycisian. Isn’t it clear that I’m so done with the Dutch health care system? All they focus on is symptoombestrijding, but never on solving the cause of the symptoms. And then they give up whenever they get the chance and start to kill you with morphine. More about that after my resting. Voor zover ik daartoe in staat ben… 🙁 [that was about resting]

My feet are warm enough now 🙂 

Slaap zacht, mijn liefste ♥

I love you 😽

– xxx –

07:12 (AM) 

Ah meoow my feet cooled off quickly before I was able to lake myself to sleep, and then my thoughts kept me awake. Now my stomach is demanding nutrition again, but I basically haven’t had a proper good night’s rest in…. Yeah since that time I was alone in Enschede, I think… 

I don’t want to get out of bed, but I’m “in the mood for” (variation, actually) bitter melon and solanum macrocarpon. I so want to sleep 🙁 . 

The Head Cuddle [ = my head B ♥… I intended to keep it a secret, until I kept being forced to speak (it still took them monthsssssssssss)] reminded me of red meat 😻 . My mouth is watering now… I might spend my last cash on going to the butcher later. For a tiny piece of the tastiest meat. And some fresh tuna… 😻 Then I also catch some “fresh air”. It’s just “alternative to inside air is outside air”, because Dutch outside air is just as deadly as inside air. I can’t stand all of the noise from (the concept of) outside, but I like walking, so…

I’m going to eat some yoghurt to silence my stomach, check when the butcher opens and hope that I’m done before 10 AM, because you shouldn’t have another kutgesprek on an empty stomach 🙂 . [This because – is it Dutch¿ – me cancelling the appointment might be followed by the “why” question. Ugh. Even when the soonest moment I could be helped in Germany were in 2 weeks, I would rather die than see that bitch who called me incompetent and believes it, again. I also want to share my philosophy on the wall situation with you, later 🙂 ] Ttyl xxx

~~~

08:11 (AM) 

Meowss. I suddenly sooo lovee plain yoghurt :). Usually I consume that with a crazy amount of honey. 

Meoww I see the butchery opened at 8 🙂 . There’s no fish store in the distance I’ll be able to walk with this amount of nutrition in my system, without passing out. 

I’ll be finishing this, showering – need to time this right, since this meow who apparently also has a cat onesie [with a tail! The Coolniss 😀 ], lives the 40 hours niss, has to go to work, and I don’t want to make him be late – and cooking my type of lunch I haven’t cooked for myself in such a long time. I haven’t even had lunch in like… How many weeks? It has been “breakfast” [iets om je holle kies mee te vullen (dat is een spreekwoord)] and dinner only, for quite some time now. The tired Fangs on a budget life. I’m also getting veryyyyyyyyyyyy tired of typing so much all of the time x_x. 

But I do have some interesting things to share with you later 🙂 . 

~~~

09:24 (AM) 

Tired petje is going to “run” [with the state of my health, I can’t even run… While I love sprinting 🙁 ] to the store and still be in time for that ughhhh phone call. 

Fucking hateee when pedestrians look at me while they talk, when I walk past them outside

~~~

11:42 (AM) 

I see another awesome loophole opportunity to get closer to solving my case 😀

Here’s how I got there:

For some reason, this little boss ass daredevil gave me hope

I did my grocery shopping and calling off my Dutch phycisian (including requesting information about unsubscribing) all before 10:30 🙂 . Die klok loopt zelfs vier minuten voor 🙂 .

I expexting to be making a decision between entrecote and kobe or something. But they didn’t even have that… This kogelbiefstuk cost me €5,95 and it looked like it can’t be eaten rare or even medium-rare (it was on a big bulk of meat and I asked for two plaques…). In my neighborhood I can get better quality food for less… It’s because of the ratio between people and food, plus food wishes 

The supermarket here also doesn’t sell non-frozen, fresh tuna (I’ve asked an employee for this, when I was there). 

My bitter melon was overdue, so I chose to eat the solanum macrocarpon (“antroewa” in het Sranang Tongo) with green asperges 🙂

My mother told me it’s healthier to garnish with butter, instead of to fry with it

Meowss I feel better alreadyy

Location revealedd

I three different topics were discussed in those few minutes. The assistant’s predictable answers [answers are always even worse than I expect them] makes my situation feel like I have a bit more hope

On the phone, I asked the assistant/receptioniste to cancel tomorrow’s appointment. She asked if that is because I am better now. I told her “No, it’s because I have found someone who wants to bring me to Germany.” She then started saying things, but I interrupted her with: “Ik heb twee vragen. De eerste is wat er vrijdag is gedeclareerd.” Then she told me that they didn’t do anything, that I should check it myself online and that it might be the new annual registration tariff. [And then I thought It’s sooo coincidental that she’s talking about registration [grrr fucking weird answer by the way], because of what my last question ever is!!!] I replied: “Okay. My last question is what the procedure of unsubscription of this practice is.” 

She told me that my new physician should then textually contact the practice, and then they will officially transfer my file. Guess what I’ll then be discussing at my very long appointment with doctor Cuddle this coming Saturday 😻. Haha me having someone from Germany as main phycisian (to be), is sooo against the whole point of that Dutch health care system. But I’ve lost my faith in it. I’ve basically never had faith in it.

Not only because I’ve lost so many people in my life. Also because the ratio between people and the amount of hospitals available, in all of the Netherlands… Is… Hopeless…? There’s also no space for a new big hospital, where it’s needed. Het IJsselland ziekenhuis [fuck a capital “Z” on this one], for example, is the nearest hospital for all people in Capelle aan den IJssel (so Capelle West, Capelle Schollevaar, Capelle ‘s Gravenland [where I (should I say “used to”?) “live”], Oostgaarde, Middelwatering…) and Rotterdam Oost (Prins Alexander, Lageland, Oosterflank en Ommoord [and more?]). Het gebouw zelf ziet er al uit als een noodvoorziening… And they do severe morphine treatments… Why the fuck does someone have to go to school for more than 4 years, to only do symptoombestrijding and “extreme ingrepen” and other than that are educated to thin out the Dutch population “of its weaklings”…?? That sounds very World War Two “resurfaced”, to me… The authority of “law enforcement” psychiatrists and shiz, too… 

~~~

13:08 (01:08 PM) 

Meoww I’ve made the appointment for Saturday, because I thought of how to get the most of his time. There are still more symptoms to research the origin of… My heart feels happy and safe, when I’m around him. (He knows that I have trust issues with doctors and he’s a very good listener.) I always want an appointment to last forever. [I’m such “a hopeless romantic” hahaha…]

Also, my muscles are crazyyy tight, so I’m happy to be able to finally get a long session of osteopathy :D. Before that, there are a lot of things to discuss! 

So “length-of-appointment”-wise, I love Saturday. But when it comes to the current state of my health… 

Opening the door this morning and being exposed to outside air, already made me feel slightly dizzy. It’s scary, knowing that your body could give out at any second. Somehow I made there and back. 

But now I’m tired from that small moment of being outside and cooking. And eating, of course. On the phone with the assistant of my soon to be not anymore my (Dutch) phycisian, I was dealing with veryyyyy severe breathing problems, from the stress. It was definitely hearable. 

Ik schrok me om 12 uur trouwens ook weer te gewoonlijke tering, door dat kut luchtalarm. Denkend: Water!! Water!! Neeeee!! Water? Ooh nee het is twaalf uur.

Meow too tired to continue typing xxxx 

~~~

20:36 (08:36 PM) 

Food petje 😀

The soup is nice 🙂

I’m sharing my visje with Jam 🙂

On the situation with the wall:

It’s craazyyy how ignorant people can be these days. Everyone in the world has an opinion about President Trump and his wall. 

The media calls it fucked up, so people call it fucked up. It’s not there, so truthfully, they can’t know if it will be fucked up. 

Everyone has heard about the Berlin wall in school (sort of) and might relate it to that. But that’s a misinterpretation. 

If he would want to build that wall in between Maryland and Pennsylvania, I would understand why there’s so much bitching about it. 

If he were to demand it to be built on Mexican soil, I would understand why there’s so much bitching about it. 

If it were European countries building walls in between each other, that would be against the law, because in the European Union, borders are open. 

[I must say there should be an exception made for Germany and Belgium, because they should be allowed to defend themselves from flooding, when the Netherlands flood(s).]

[Die shit met de Waddeneilanden, I consider a sign of God, trouwens. And I don’t even consider myself a religious person (anymore) hahaha.]

But people should realize that he’s a politician who actually has a good plan. 

You see, illegal immigrants… Are illegal. So… They should just be legal immigrants… Immigrating legally. Maybe Mexico also needs better politics, and that wall might be a good incentive. 

Mind you that refugees are not illegal immigrants. Especially when a country has a hand in a war that causes mass migration, refugees should be allowed in. But still it’s important that people live purposeful lives and not just claim a spot, for the sake of claiming it, to do nothing with it, afterwards. 

But if you can’t get the democrats to cooperate – they always want to talk too much and never really improve anything but just $$$$$ eww – maybe they will, if it’s a wall made of very thick bulletproof glass? Or maybe a very high electric fence? Popsicle sticks…?

On the law enforcement people: they’re given a holiday? Those people must be criminals with an authority and anger problem. An addiction to it maybe, even. I mean being an authoritarian fuck all day must be stressful, so if you’re not paid for it, you should not work. 

This man who was interviewed for it, on the Dutch late night news, yesterday, said that otherwise people are going to escape. How about they link the cameras there to the hobby room in their home (because they have hobbies right hahahahaha), and put a digital sniper rifle in that panopticum tower of theirs, to shoot anyone who runs out. 

Then the captivated people can have some fun time, too. “You know where to find the snacks. I’m going to Ibiza 🙂 .” [Of course they might also start killing each other. But people should just let people be.]

What I wanted to say about forbidden office romance, is that is very much shouldn’t be!!!! It’s insane! Love is one of the few fun things in life 🙁 . At least to this catje 🙁 . 

Of course, a lot of people won’t be able to handle it, and a workplace might become like a zoo. (Not everyone is able to concentrate on working, so quickly resides to talking nonsense and distracting others.)

“See that girl there two tables away…?” Haha while the world then becomes a more dumb pile fucking mess, I can be kissing with my Graeynissis, while taking over the world 🙊.

Meoww this is the exact opposite order I intended to tell things yesterday, but my spontaneous red meat craving (actually still unsatisfied) changed things around. I’m still thirsty… 

But even more tired, and because of that, I’ll be going to call it a day. (I wish doctor Cuddle were my neighbor… I need eyes of true medical understanding on me 🙁 .)

Good night ♥

I love you

xxx

Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Doe eens iets geks? 

Iets wat ik nog nooit heb gedaan, is een post helemaal in het Nederlands schrijven. Wat betreft grammaticaregels [ik kan het beter “alleen maar uitzonderingen” noemen] is het sowieso een verschrikkelijke taal, dus wijk ik algauw liever uit naar een wat toegankelijkere taal. Puur om geklaag te vookomen. 

Vele Nederlanders hebben me aangeraden om eerst te beginnen met het veroveren van de Nederlandse markt, voordat ik internationaal ga. Ik heb drie heel zwaar wegende argumenten om dit niet te doen: 

  1. Het doel van mijn missie betreft alle landen ter wereld, [JA, “KOMMA EN”] en het Engels is een internationale taal. 
  2. Gezien de ecologische constructie van Nederland, is Nederland niet voor altijd, en ik wil graag iets nalaten aan volgende generaties. (Haha snap je wat ik hiermee zeg?)
  3. Het Nederlandse propaganda is heel erg “ons” en “zij”, en “hier is alles beter” wanneer het gaat om Nederland en het buitenland, en dat vind ik zulke fucking onzin. Die stommiteit past ook niet bij wat ik wil bereiken. Voor mijn gevoel hoor ik ook niet bij “ons”. Ik ben mijn eigen team. En ik ben heel selectief wat betreft het kiezen van mijn bondgenoten, want als er een land is waar opportunisme bijna volledig in de nationale cultuur verweven zit… “Ik organiseer een evenement en wil graag dat je erbij bent.” “Njaaa ik weet het niet… Volgens mij heb ik die dag…” “Entree, eten en drinken zijn voor jou gratis.” “Hoe laat?” (En dan moet dat grappig zijn? Is het dan ook grappig dat ik zo serieus wil emigreren? Natuurlijk heb je dat soort mensen overal, maar hier heb je niet eens de ruimte om ze te ontwijken…)

Ook dat binnen de nationale cultuur, geloven dat echte internationale voorspoed mogelijk is en geloven dat volledige zelfbeheersing mogelijk is, worden gezien als psychosen… Dat de meerderheid volledig talentloos is, wil niet zeggen dat het gelijk voor iedereen onmogelijk is. 

Van mij mogen die dijken kapot, echt waar. Dan is het probleem ook opgelost. Het zal uiteindelijk misschien zelfs wel moeten, want het land is eigenlijk al zo onherstelbaar failliet. Ieder jaar wordt alles een stukje duurder, de absurde overbevolking wordt een stukje groter en viral trends en million dollar strategies worden steeds dommer, voor het proletariaat en hun routines die al langer hetzelfde zijn dan dat ik in leven ben. Stel dat ik ook een proleten leven zou gaan leiden leiden [je weet wel, tot mijn 65ste (mijn generatie moet sowiso door tot ze 80 zijn), elke dag naar het werk, met dezelfde collega’s, op dezelfde plek, waar je steeds dezelfde anekdotes hoort… In de zomer ieder jaar naar dezelfde camping, lekker goedkoop… HAHAHA (Om heel eerlijk te zijn, ga ik letterlijk, zonder enige twijfel, liever dood.)], in plaats van het volgen van het pad dat alleen ik kan volgen, omdat (blijkbaar, helaas) alleen ik dit inzicht heb en er een oplossing voor heb. Hoe waren jullie dan van plan om al die studie leningen terug te krijgen, terwijl de vergrijzing bekostigd moet worden en dit land nog verder in verval raakt, terwijl men alleen maar dommer wordt? 

Too bad you gave me that fucked up diagnosis, and I’m tired of trying now. Good luck 🙂 .

Haha daar komt de aap uit de mouw, nietwaar? 

Happy 2019

– xxx – Lil Fangs 

Meow is the administrator account of my blog, which I fully maintain myself. This is Lil Fangs, too 🙂 . 

Met dit ene artikel heb ik letterlijk elke ongeschreven regel die er binnen het vak public relations bestaat, gebroken. Het is gewoon tijd voor iets nieuws. 

Blog, Drafts, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections

A trauma

Who would you listen to? A group of people who express their care about someone, by, with a large budget, starting a campaign about how they miss someone and how that person “is now a lost cause”, because she has smoked quite a few joints, then became a lot less socially active person and decided to never come home again, or “the lost cause”, who has a very alternative view on the world and is, with a very low budget, trying to change the world, currently by legally bending the law, from her bedroom at her parents’ house? Apparently the choice was very easily made for a lot of people, since I am still without any active support. But I won’t give up. At least not before December 31, 2018, 23:59. This is Lil Fangs for President

A Brick Wall

That title was chosen in an attempt to keep your attention. Trying to get my message across, is like yelling against a brick wall. Right underneath your nose, I live through one of the most hidden forms of injustice, every day. Without any official support, it is not possible for me to escape from it. 

The way people are treated within the (Dutch) psychiatric system, is so inhumane.  The worst part is that once you’ve been in it, they can monitor you for the rest of your life. 

Imagine that you, a perfectly sane person, are suddenly snitched by someone very close to you, and suddenly every day psychiatrists come visit you at home, and they talk to you as if you don’t know how to count to ten, and they start to prescribe you all kinds of pills, of which they say that it can influence your reasoning and it will make you function normally again. 

In the beginning, you refuse to speak with them, because you’re not ill the way they claim you’re ill. But they keep telling you that you are, and that you should obey them. The person who has snitched you, keeps telling you that the measure is “The right thing for you and that everything will be okay.” You’re not allowed to leave your house anymore, as long as you keep refusing those pills. You can’t raise your voice at them and/or become violent, because when you do, they will inject you with their quackery and put you in a very cold isolation cell, with only a mattress on the ground and a toilet bowl next to it. With a camera in it, fixed on you. 

Are you with me on this one, that if you become stuck in such a situation, and everyone you ever believed in is suddenly telling you that you need help, while that what they call help, is making you feel offended, that it’s logical to just take a few of those pills and say that you’re doing better, so that you can leave the house, with the intention of never coming back? [And to (I did not expect that to happen in the future) never apologize to those who blame you for making them worried, because you suddenly left and were nowhere to be found. But you have told them plenty of times that you do not want that psychiatric surveillance in your life.]

I wish my first impression to the world would have been different. It’s hard to recover my reputation from I don’t even know what lie they have exactly told you about me and my well-being. All I know about that, is that when I Googled my name, at that time, “Dominique Elia vermist” [vermist means missing], was a search suggestion. When I search the same thing now, I see this:

Why this is a problem to me, is because I want to know what people have seen, so that I can debunk it

I have been told that after I was found – the full story on that, if you’re interested, is written out in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I – everyone was ordered to delete the message that went viral. What the fuck went viral? I need to know. Why delete it, if it has gone viral already? Then I’m the only one who doesn’t know. 

The reason why I was so against being under psychiatric surveillance – so much that I decided to run away, after they started to speak about that their surveillance period is at least 12 months – is because of my aspirations. 

My aspirations are not literally to become president. I strive towards an independent form of influence, on a beyond-government level, accompanied by a select group of people. In my view, achieving international eternal peace, is possible. 

To many people it isn’t possible, which has been one of the grounds based on which I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia.  I find it outrageous that someone’s pessimistic view can define my entire life. With that diagnosis, I don’t agree with, I could have been denied access to enter the United States. By still going there, I intended to make a statement and hoped that the diagnosis could be reverted. To succeed in that, I need support from other people. 

The people in my environment don’t believe that I’m sane, because my parents have told them that I, one day, packed my suitcase and told them that Benoît Crutzen is going to come to our house and I’m going to leave and never come back. They responded to that statement of mine, as if I said it while I was not fully conscious. But I remember every single fucking heartless thing they have done in that period. They never asked my why I said that or what we were planning to do or anything. They just started to laugh at me and forbade me to see him. 

The day I packed my suitcase, was the day before I had arranged to meet up with him, to talk about a possible campaign, when I still had a PR business. I then did not know that over the next 24 hours, there were going to be several fights, that ended up in me shunning my parents for five days – things were not going well with my business and Benoît was my last hope, for success, paying off debts and friendship – and psychiatrists coming to the house every day. 

When I packed, I was aware that that wasn’t part of the plan we had discussed over e-mail. I was just that desperate to move out, because my parents do not want me to move out the way I want to move out, and thus they will never give me funds to move out. They might give me a little money to help me buy furniture or something, but the support I need, I won’t receive, they have told me several times. 

Blog, Nosce Te Ipsum, Reflections

2019’s Reform

My original strategy for making large-scale changes to the system, was very subtle. It was my intention to accomplish it independently, instead of doing it via the democratic system – because I don’t believe in it. For the change I want to make, which includes a more eco-friendly economic system, as well as a safe haven in case the Netherlands flood again, I want to buy an island and declare it an independent state, with its own constitution, its own currency and an alternative legal system. Throughout my writings, Planet Fang – which is what I want to name the island – and my plans for the construction of it and way of life on it, as well as the recruitment for it, have been mentioned very often already. My original strategy was to fund the purchase of the island and guide the recruitment for the island, with sales from the Nosce Te Ipsum book series, which include an indirect personality test. This year has taught me that, to receive active engagement, I will have to simplify my content and use different media, and for that, I need initial funds that go beyond what I currently own.

Attempting to earn enough to buy an island, without any investors and without having a mass media campaign with imagery [also without years of working experience and without a zillion PhD’s], to inform the masses about the ins and outs of my endeavor, has been a very exhausting and time consuming occupation. Whatever happens, next year, my strategy to accomplish the same endeavor, will be different. It should be less exhausting. It should include togetherness from the start, which was what I was trying to accomplish with the project I intended to guide with my books, which is explained throughout my books.

In my diary post of December 23, at some point, I got the idea to attempt to accomplish my endeavor via the Dutch democratic system. Since I want a lot of people to live on my island [but not too many. What I would define as “too many” depends the size of the island I can buy. If my audience becomes that large that the island doesn’t have enough space to live, I would like to buy compounds in other countries, if that’s possible], and my economic system includes the provision of a Fangyist’s basic needs by the Planet Fang government – including a self-designed house, depending on the initial funds and contribution – it would actually be quite fair and more healthy for me to not have to pay for everyone’s future living, and seek another way to accomplish the same thing, in a way that is also less time consuming and more collective.

I’m a Dutch citizen (born and raised in Rotterdam), and the Dutch democratic system is very accessible – when you have the initial funds to enter. It would give me the stage I need to raise awareness on my endeavor, it would give me a salary and I could get in touch with the public more easily. But simultaneously, it takes away my independence and it could maybe lead to all of the public claiming a spot on my island. I would love to save everyone, but the amount of space on my island is limited. Also, the official next elections are in 2021, and that is way too far away from now. With the current crazy amounts of pollution’s emission into our environment, day in day out, the risk of this country flooding might be closer than it seems. This is not what I want to raise awareness on, because it can only lead to chaos [another uncontrolled mass migration, and to Dutch citizens, the European borders are all open], and every citizen of this country has been made aware of this since “de basisschool”, so the topic is not new to them for sure. (Being consumed by life’s routine could make someone not think about it often, but it is in there somewhere, in the minds of everyone.)

To those who can help me build a new and better world, I want to offer shelter and a new life. The meaningless routine we drag ourselves through, will be obsolete, one day. My project leaves a lot of room for new pioneers to step forward. Real pioneers.

I will start a multi-component fundraiser on this website, to start a campaign to raise awareness on my endeavor and start the recruitment for it [with the contents of my thesis, but then in a form that is ready for mass media], to purchase the island, to buy out the Graeynissis I need the expertise from, needed to finalize my strategy, to give myself a life in which I’ll be able to fully focus on my project without being disturbed by nonsense, and the list goes on. I hope that by this time next year, I will at least not be alone in this anymore.

Meanwhile, the reform has been reformed. Read all about it, by clicking here.

Blog, Ex Animo, Images, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Recipes, Reflections

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

01:57 (AM) 

There’s some text in the previous post, which was updated after 12.

I would love to talk to you some more, but I can barely keep my eyes open. Plus, I’ll have to do some grocery shopping tomorrow, because during last evening’s dinner, we decided that I’m not only in charge of the mashed potatoes. I’ll also be making the starter. My sister wants something with raw salmon, so I’ll be making my own version of zalmtaartaar :)♥ .

I’m off to bed

Good night, my love ♥

I love you ♥ ♥

I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you ♥ ♥ ♥

xxx

13:11 (01:11 PM) 

Good petty afternoon 🙂 

I’m too bed cuddly, and still tired, so my mother is going grocery shopping and I need to text her what I need for my cooking. I always decide what kind of ingredients I’ll use, when it’s time to go shopping for them, and then based on what kinds of taste I’m in the mood for. 

So for the mashed potatoes, I was thinking of keeping it very simple: potatoes, butter, milk, celery (my variation), nutmeg, vegetable stock/truffle oil and mustard

And the zalmtaartaar ( = tartar of salmon [but it seems like tartar means wild person¿ I’m talking about a dish haha]) I want to make with: fresh salmon (not frozen please), fennel, (frozen) spinach [I find that tasting a lot less bitter], steranijs (star anise), vegetable stock, creme fraîche, parsley, white wine and sesame seeds. I’ll make “een bedje” [’cause I’m a petje 😀 ] of spinach and finely chopped fennel, cooked and cooled off, with the anise. The salmon will go on top, stuck together in its shape by creme fraîche with vegetable stock (cooled off, since the salmon needs to stay raw). It will be topped with a “blendered” mixture of cooked and cooled off fennel, parsley and white wine. And then some grilled sesame seeds and parsley for garnishing on top. 

I’m not sure if I should include a lime in this, because I made something with the combination of anice and lime, and that tasted like a very nasty cough medicine. A lime would probably also be nicer with non-raw salmon. So no lime in this dish 🙂 . 

Oh we didn’t have plans for soup yet either. The basic tomato soup I make includes… Waiit she already left so I need to text her the shopping list xxx

~~~

13:50 (01:50 PM) 

The soup I’ll make is inspired by this recipe for Turkish tomato soup I learnt from the cooking guide “game” for the Nintendo DS, when I was little. I’ll be using: butter, flour, vegetable stock, tomatoes, creme fraîche, thyme and rosemary

Haha a lot of my diary posts include recipes and reflections – basically they’re always reflections after the introduction – but they’re not put into that category, because I do not always want my philosophy to stand out on this website. There are so many hidden gems in it, I want to keep it a good the user needs to do a little effort for, to obtain it. I’m doing this all for free. I don’t even earn royalties or ad money. So I would like that act of love in return. Thanks 🙂 . 

I’ll later include pictures of the cooking process. My sister will assist me today 😀 ♥.

Time to make some “breakfast”… I have a hunger headache. Tot later 😀 .

~~~

15:12 (03:12 PM)

A last-minute impulse made me think of what to eat the tartar with. I’m thinking of slicing the type of baguette you need to finish in the oven yourself in very thin toasty layers and putting it in the oven with self-made garlic oil with mint

My “breakfast” [first meal of the day, but past breakfast hours, so in between quotation marks] wasn’t really worth sharing. It was just very basic: cooked instant noodles. There were not many better alternatives. 

I accomplished this during/after it haha:

I love this gameee. I gave it to myself as a present last night. Remember when I purchased the Switch and this game was still unreleased?

I’m still hungry… I’ll just start cooking right after I shower and feed off tasting my food to see if the taste is right. That’s something I often do when I can’t find something suitable [in terms of healthiness and how much it makes me feel full… I’m not saying that instant noodles are healthy. They’re what makes me feel the most full of all things available for cooking at the moment] for me to eat. 

So be right back again meoww xxx

~~~

16:21 (04:21 PM) 

Meoww we’re doing thiss. First I want to do all of the cutting for all of the dishes. So cutting the tomatoes and the fennel, plus skinning [what’s the right word?] the potatoes. 

For now I’m doing things solo, because my sister also has to help my mother and shower and take care of other business.

Haven’t worn a schort since my first times cooking. But I want to keep my dress clean hehe.

Fast and simplee

Haha it would be so cool if you’d cook along with me 😀 ♥

This will be my occupation for now. I’ll keep you up to date xxx

~~~

17:26 (05:26 PM) 

De huidige stand van zaken [the current state of affairs]:

As finely chopped as possible on this pace

Fennell

My sister is helping me ♥. [That clock is still on summer time. It was 17:22]

I’ll now start cooking what I need for the tartaar and start making the vegetable bouillon. 

Tartaar first (because it still has to cool), soup second, potatoes last. 

I need to get some stuff from the freezer in the shed. Be right back xxx

~~~

17:42 (05:42 PM) 

Frozen spinach has to defrost first

The back pan is for the topping, the front one is for het bedje 🙂

~~~

18:06 (06:06 PM) 

I hope to be done around 7/07:30 PM. 

Sweet white wine for the back right pan. I compensated sourness a little with sugar.

Vegetable stock and creme fraîche to stick the salmon together in the star cookie shape 

Vegetable stock + tomatoes. Letting it boil until the tomatoes are fully soft

Parsley added (almost forgot about it lol) 

Perfectly blended tartar topping 🙂

The parsley is there because I needed a cutting board and wanted to save on dishes to wash

Meoww

This + those slices of bread + mint and garlic oil + oven

~~~

19:10 (07:10 PM) 

Celeryy

Part einss

Part zweii

19:42 (07:42 PM) 

This is my first time ever trying this. I think it has worked out quite well 🙂 .

Yahaay

Meoww 😀 . I hope it tastes goood

~~~

19:55 (07:55 PM) 

Aahhh I’m exhausted maahnnn. But it’s all donee. Excuse the chaos of pictures. 

Time to eat yoooo xxx

Can’t wait to taste itt

Those are dates filled with cream cheese…

Date me 😀 . Ah meoww at first I was all like “Woohoo I’ll stay single forever,” but on days like this I really miss a companion. 

~~~

20:26 (08:26 PM) 

El soupp

~~~

20:42 (08:42 PM) 

Shout out to my Amsterdam family friends for giving me socks and a gift card ♥

When I went shopping with my mother last weekend, I picked Lady Million Privé by Paco Rabanne and blush, lipstick and fixing spray from MAC as Christmas presents. I opened them when I went to that party on Sunday haha… 

~~~

22:25 (10:25 PM) 

I’ve been semi-socializing [semi because I wasn’t leading the conversation]. Here are some more dinner pics:

The Brancott Estate 2015 Sauvignon. It’s all right [or should I say “it can wait” HAHA love you B ♥]

I’m still looking for that wine with a less dominant taste of alcohol. Like the way Remy Martin XO’s taste of alcohol is very subtle, which makes the other aspects of the drink much more flavorous. 

The traditional [even though I’m Dutch/”Surinamese”] main Christmas dish

I cut the turkey 😀 . So I earned thiss . It was very tasty 🙂 . My mother made the turkey, gravy, cranberries and veggies

My cousin has taken care of our dessert. She has brought three of them 🙂 . We’re starting with this:

Een kaasplankje and a selection of sausages

It’s easier for me to write self-reflection when I’m by myself. So these pictures are my entertainment for you now. I hope you’re having a nice day 🙂 . 

Panna cotta 🙂

I fucking loveee foooood. And wiiinee. 

The third dessert will be served soon as well. 

~~~

Blog, Ex Animo, Images, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Sunday, December 23, 2018

[I wrote this unfinished piece of post yesterday around 7 PM, but then something happened, and because of that, I still will not finish it. I’ll explain it to you 🙂 . Between the three dotted lines is the unfinished piece of post.]

My Cuddle ♥

Excuse my previous madness 🙁 . It’s a side effect that comes with my ambition. I hope you still love me. I get so mad, because I love you and I can’t stand that I can’t be with you 🙁 .

I had a lot of fun with my mother yesterday. When we were texting a few days before, I told her that I tend to stay away from her, because she can express the way she feels so negatively sometimes, and I want to see and hear her be happy. Hearing her express herself negatively gives me heartache and palpitations.

I feel terrible, too, but when we go out to do something together, it’s better to push those feelings aside, to try to emphasize the good things and to act happier than you are, because then you might end up feeling that way, too. I it worked for the both of us 😀 ♥

Around 2 o’clock, we took the metro to the city center. (We intended to leave around 1, but I kept snoozing my 10:50 alarm and at some point I accidentally dismissed it, so I woke up at 12:37 and had to rush…)

00:38 (AM) 

The reason why I’m so much later than usual with writing a post, was because I was socializing all day. It has been so long since I’ve felt so uplifted. I had conversations with my mother that really felt like it was like in the old days. I loved it. Then, here, at the house of the family friends I’m staying with, too, we were talking a lot. At first a lot about decision making from a parental perspective.

Then, later, somehow, we ended up talking about my business plans. I’ve touched on my business plans with other people before, but it’s so unique that I prefer to keep them to myself, because when it comes to money, some people try to do good with it, and some just want to have the most of it. I believe that because most people on this Earth are very self-preservative, this Earth is such a shit dystopia. I know that with my plans – less than half of them can be found online, because I prefer to memorize it, so that others can’t grow big with it before I do – there’s a lot of money to be made, which is why I prefer to keep them to myself, until I’m certain that I can trust someone.

This was the first time breaking down my full business concept, of which a part originated from the fact that with the natural circumstances in the Netherlands, life can be over at any second, and from people from my class, there are currently no plans of evacuation. That’s why I came up with the recruitment aspect of the organization. Also because space is limited. This quickly led to me being compared to – as I indicated before, in the “if I were to explain and my philosophy gets misinterpreted”-situation I described a few posts back, just type the last name in the search field to find it – Adolf Hitler. Of course, the comparison was a joke, since we’re talking about uncontrollable natural circumstances here.

There was also mentioned that we should raise awareness on that life in this country could be over at any second again, via mainstream media. Everyone learns about it in school, but no one gives a fuck, otherwise I would not be alone in this paranoia about nature ending my life at any second. Primary school is made mandatory by the government. If you wouldn’t attend, there’s a whole police patrol squad that makes sure you will. Everyone has been fully educated about this in geography class.

Raising awareness via mainstream media would cause so much chaos, because no one knows what to do, or doesn’t have the resources and/or capacity to do something useful, with that information. (Remember when I was typing about this in caps lock? It already felt like I was giving away too much.)

I don’t believe in raising awareness through mainstream media, but I do believe in proposing my solution and guiding the recruitment process through mainstream media. Then at least everyone knows and thus the chances will be equal. I find equal opportunities very important. Another thing I find important is usefulness, because it’s important that my island doesn’t go to shit the way this country will, one day. That’s not me destroying it. That’s just god’s work. I didn’t chose to be born here. No one did. (Right?)

The conversation ended with me being proposed to propose the product, service or strategy that will give me that amount of money I need to buy that island I’ll fully own and thus have the full right to decide over. I actually intend it to be bought by the holding, because I don’t want to rule over it all by myself, but because it’s my idea, I do want to own the parliament. Yes, things are arranged differently on Planet Fang.

When it comes to pitching my ideas, I always have trust issues. I guess that’s part of the reason why I still haven’t truly attempted to find an investor. (I’m considering constructing my business in such a way that co-owners will all be married to me, on Planet Fang, where everything is very different. I basically have to, since I’m so in love with these Graeynissis…) But of course I make exceptions for those who are close to me, when they ask.

So now I’ll be pitching “my million dollar strategy” coming Saturday. I love a challenge. [The soon deadline was because I made clear that my way to making it big isn’t a plan for 10 years. Life here can be over at any second and I want to be able to save myself (and other (useful) people). Truthfully, I want to have earned enough to rule over that island – and really truthfully already have that compound – within twelve months. Yes, twelve months. Actually I intended to already have been there by now, but I see I really am forced to do mainstream shit ah ew.] I wonder what it will lead to. I seek passionate investors, who care about the success of the endeavor more than about commas. They’re one of a kind and hard to find… Because of the class I’m stuck in with no money or support, I basically don’t come across them. But sometimes I’m lucky…

When I was having lunch with my mother, and she asked me where I want to live when I’m back at the ANWB full-time, I told her: “Wassenaar.” Yehess that’s not affordable with the salary I’ve earned there. I don’t intend to grow old here. I didn’t even intend to really target the Dutch market – because what’s the point, if it can flood at any second – but I have fallen in love… I showed my mother: “Look at how hot my Graeyniss is,” (those were not my literal words) and she was also like woaaaaah. Ah meoww… Suddenly he’s on my mind so much… I swear omgg… Including the thought of us suddenly giving in to the attraction we feel for each other and kissing… I love the way you grab my ass in my fantasy. Our life is wild and turbulent – like our sex – like a Dutch movie. (The upper class life painted in those movies is so alien to me. It’s so interesting in a sexy way.)

In my correspondence to him I’m indirectly all like oohh noo I look relatively good so people think my intention is to fuck anyone and then especially those with brains and influence, so it’s important that it’s clear that that is fucking bullshit. I’m not a house wife.  I want to make a career.

But simultaneously, with the natural circumstances in this country, my survival instinct is going crazy. If I were to be stuck with someone, I swear for me it’s the best to be stuck with someone else who would, like me, say: “If I would survive the flooding of this country, I would seize power.” With my level of intelligence and the circumstances I need to survive in, it doesn’t surprise me that I’m always fucking crazy attracted to tall grey haired men in suits. [HAHA HI THEREEEE 😀 ]

For this sexy Graeyniss, I would stay in this country and be a house wife… [Still no children, though, “sorry”….] The house wife part being cooking and setting up my own business, while the regular cycle of life as we now it now – everyone working – continues, until my business is finished and I can finally overthrow the system. People would talk so much shit about us, because we would look twice as hot if we were a couple… Don’t you maybe need a date for some fancy Christmas dinner? Does anyone need a date for a fancy Christmas dinner? I don’t like Christmas, but I love dress-up occasions and any chance to hear some serious Graeyniss conversations. I’d finally be able to be myself…

I’m such a pet cat… I now have two people I call Graeynissis, of whom I’m thinking that it’s possible that they could feel the same way about me as I do about them… I hope you’ll want to share, because now I feel un-cuddle for having feelings for more than one person, and I just want to have you all all to myself and I want you all to know it from each other. I hope I’ll be enough for you in that way, in terms of love (so that you’d be able to settle for my split attention) and that you’ll still feel like you’re my one and only.

On the rest of yesterday: I took my usual types of pictures, thinking of sharing it on here as I explain to you the deatils of my day. But the conversations lasted until very late and I need to get up early today. (It’s probably also not that interesting for you. That’s why it’s all the way down here.)

I had to get fangy and eat some medium-rare meat

I didn’t go here today, but I went there on a school excursion once, and, while usually I’m not a fan of excursions, there’s such interesting meaning in the architecture, art and design of this Paleis op de Dam, so I wanted to tell you this is a must-see

New blush was one of my gifts ♥

We later went there “for dessert” 🙂

This is what I selected as a gift for my family friends’ house I currently live in, for underneath the Christmas tree. How do you find my interior design vision?  :p

As I walked home, the sky was looking Cuddle

This is the perfume I use and wanted to buy again from my €150 Christmas budget. But they don’t sell it anywhere anymore?? 🙁 So now Lady Million Privé is my new scent. The other one is an Opium eau de toilette by Yves Saint Laurent. There are multiple ones with this name, but this exact one I can’t find anywhere. It was hard to find the first time already…

Now that I feel better – I’ve been so silent for so long, I’m happy to have had some good conversations and events – it’s like my body hurts less as well. It’s probably not a good move, health wise, even though simultaneously exercise is healthy, but I already mentioned to my mother how much I miss it, and then I saw this event for tomorrow, so I could just not not sign up… There’s a little basketball event tomorrow, in the Apollohal, from 12:30 until 14:30. For €4.50 you can join the poule and play 15 minute games. I’m excited! 😀 It has been so long since I played… I miss it so much! It’s too cold to play outside 🙁 . So tomorrow I’m going 😀 .

It’s now 03:54 and I need to figure out how to make my way there and stuff tomorrow… And be early because teams will be made et cetera. I’m thus going to sleep.

I love you sooooo much

Good night (literally haha) ♥

xxx

10:04 (AM)

Good morning

I just posted this to let you know I’m awake.  I’m going to take a shower.

By the way, since I find it more important to succeed in my life goals than to earn, but I do need to earn [soon as fuck… I’ll also need protection soon if people are going to proclaim that I have plans for the evacuation of a hand-picked (by application and recruitment [that used to go via my book projects, in which no one paricipated – I’m mad and might change my genre to something more populist – but will now go via emailing office@docis.international]) group of people and that I still allow people from other countries on that island as citizens as well [I can do that, because these fucked up natural circumstances are not the only reason for me to run this business…. It’s also because the system is absolute shit everywhere in the world and everyone deserves to attempt to an alternative]], I’m thinking of taking some initiative as someone who doesn’t vote and dominate the shit out of these literal political Graeynissis . Oh and the king, too, hehe. By starting a political party or something else via the democratic system I’m subjected to (beetje jammer… [that I’m subjected to it haha]). Know that I consider it my responsibility, as a non-voter. But I find that those who do vote but other than that only complain in front of the television, have that same self-initiative responsibility. I’d call it “The Fang Party”. Ons hoofdstandpunt is “fuck politics” HAHAHA.

I’ll be getting ready. Don’t Judas me in the meantime 😀 xxx

~~~

11:07 (AM) 

HAHA ayyy seriously I have such good ideas for Dutch politics! And for the promotion of The Fang Party (vote for a chance of getting access to all compounds). I’ll make music videos for promotion (Nero style HAHA… This sounds very Hitler-like haha but I swear I’m pro equal survival chances HAHAHAHAH). If I were to seize power, the Netherlands will become part of Planet Fang as well 😀 . I’m also pro voting rights for everyone, so everyone anywhere in the world will be allowed to vote for the Netherlands. Especially women who are not allowed to vote!!!! 

I challenge the Dutch prime minister to a dance battle…. Maak je borst maar nat mattie I’m coming for youuu.

So my donation thing will become: Help Lil Fangs De Tweede Kamer in…. Gotta eat fast and hurry brb xxx

~~~

11:46 (AM) 

Hey jongens, ik voel een nieuw referendum aankomen… Ick will namelijk graeg den grootsten dele mijnes tijdes in “Hispanje” (maar dan Planet Fang) spendeeren.

I think “Den Fang Partij” is trouwens een betere naam.

LIL FANGS FOR PRESIDENT!!!

For my political economy strategy things… Benoît Crutzen… IK. KIES. JOU!!! *gooit pokéball*

~~~

11:58 (AM) 

Yoo where the fuck are my earplugs :'( . I always lay them next to my bed 🙁 . Travelling musicless sucks. My music will be played everywhere. I also have a lot of ideas for the improvement of the quality of television. I want to own 20% of all zendtijd forever for education material from Den Fang Partij.

So there should be one more colony which will be a separate island, for the Netherlands, which will be named Planet Fang if I win. Or if I’ll be able to make so much noise that there will be elections right now.

Of ik links of rechts ben? Ik ben niks mattie. Fuck dat systeem. Ik ben Lil Fangs HAHA.

Yo Rutte… Fuck jouw partij en kom gewoon bij mij ofzo?

Also, I want Vicje, Lorenzo and Sander as active members of my party…

~~~

14:10 (02:10 PM)

I’m having a lot of fun 😀 . I’m trying to get people to join me for my group picture at the end of the event. I’ve already told a few people I want to run for president and that I had that idea this morning. I want to show you I’m a people person 🙂 . Vote for me 😀 ♥

~~~

15:07 (03:07 PM) 

When I arrived at the basketball event, I saw that I was the only girl there and teams were already made. I didn’t want to take down the pace of the games the guys were playing, so my intention was to practice some by myself for the full two hours, on the free basket.

Then later, Jozef invited me to join his team. They had to leave before the event ended, so we have a separate picture 🙂 :

The team 😀

They’re all from Lebanon, except Rashid next to me, who is from Syria.

When I told them that I want to run for president here, Jozef said: “(Then) you probably don’t want us here.” His response scared me up. The way people are forced to leave their countries is outrageous, and world peace is definitely on the list of things I want to achieve!! Good living circumstances world wide, too. Of course you should be welcome here, since this country is in the top ten of weapon manufacturers. You should be treated like a king here.

Especially because I’m a person of color and I’m used to dumb racist people telling me that “I should go back to my own country” (while the Dutch nationality is my own nationality…) I for sure am not that the type of person who will discriminate people on where they’re from or what their background is. That’s the most ignorant thing people do these days.

My immediate response was: “You shouldn’t want to be here yourself, because there are no plans of evacuation for the people from our class, when this country is threatened by nature, to be flooded. That’s one of the things I want to propose a solution for when I’m elected president.”

Here are all group pictures taken, so you’re free to select your best one 🙂 [Shout out to the girl with the pink jacket, who made the picture ♥ ] :

Yay 1

Yay 2

Yay 3

Yay 4

Yay 5

Yay 6

Yay 7

If I were to organize a basketball event and ask people €4.50 for entrance, you’d get a bottle of water and a snack. Lil Fangs for President ayy.

I just came back home. I’ve been joking about my campaign statements and programme, but I have some serious plans and I’ll entirely break them down in the free book I came up with when I was in the tram: Lil Fangs for President. I’ll get started with it today 🙂 . First, I need to finish my business website and the 180 Days of Fangs article, though. Haha one project at a time…

~~~

15:54 (03:54 PM) 

Oh yes, why I’m not wearing basketball clothes? Because my basketball clothes and shoes are at home. I decided to look for meetups to join for today, last night, while I’m staying in Amsterdam with my family friends.

At some point I stopped playing team games, today, because my knees and ankles started to hurt. I wasn’t wearing the right shoes… I also suffered from “osgood schlatter” – a force and growth related sports injury – for quite some time, when I used to play for Rotterdam Basketball (the regular club, not eredivisie or something haha).

I then started to practice dribbling and shooting, in a walking pace, with my focus on not looking at the ball while playing. I dribbled with my eyes closed. I can show you that, as a president, I can dribble with my eyes closed, which means that my senses are very good, which shows that I’m a very alert president.

~~~

16:55 (04:55 PM) 

Ohh I made this picture when I gave myself a water break from practicing jump shots and lay ups and stuff, before I joined the team:

I always focus on my screen, but I guess I should look into the camera, but then I don’t know what my facial expression looks like… I need to practice my charisma more…

Lil Fangs for President will be released in both Dutch and English (the languages I can write in). If anyone wants to translate it to another language, I’ll share it for sure.

I find it important that there’s world wide attention for the situation here, in this country, since the problem here will at some point affect every single country on Earth, and I’m trying to be ahead of it. That’s why my correspondence is currently in English. I don’t know why no one else is doing this, too. Know that I have no patience for people who focus on gossip shit. I’m trying to make a serious change. I’m by the way against reading speeches from paper or a teleprompter…

I will also not be begging for votes. Voting is of course a choice, and if you want to hate on my initiative – while no one else is showing initiative the way I do, on this level – go ahead and please don’t even consider to vote. Then I have less people I’ll have to take into consideration for something that is not my responsibility. I just want to help because I’m able to, but other than that, it’s your life’s task to save yourself.

~~~

21:03 (09:03 PM) 

I’ve been thinking of going home for Christmas. I mentioned it during dinner. The thing that made it not easy and obvious is that my father has to allow and want me to be home, since he’s the house owner who sets the rules. Eric came with the idea to call him and ask if he finds it okay. After some internal fears, I called. He didn’t pick up. He called me when I was doing number two. When I tried to call back, I got an immediate “call ended” after pressing call, without voice mail. He also texted me to ask if I tried to call him. I said yes. He asked why. I said that it’s because I want to come home for Christmas and my sister’s birthday. (I still want to be all by myself by new year’s. I find one formality enough and do not want to reflect on last year with those who have experienced part of that hell with me.) He said fine, that’s okay and sent some love related smileys. So now I’m going home for Christmas. As a politician to be, I’ll stick to doing populist shit because I want your love ah meoww.

My god I really feel like crying and dying. I wish all of this drama just didn’t exist. Esha texted me at the right moment, asking me if I would like to join her and Elgin (the DJ I mentioned before), because he’s the first performer at a club tonight. I’m tired from playing basketball and stuff, but dancing and being with nice people will make me feel better for sure.

Sorry for not doing the “work related” [I’m not earning from it] things I mentioned today. I hope you still love me. I also hope you’ll save me from the huge task I’ve given myself when it comes to our society, in the sense that I know that’s unhealthy for me to work so much, but I can’t stop…

Also, entering politics sounds very exciting to me, but the thought of that nonsense gossip media… If there’s one thing that deep down just makes me want to ask that person what the fuck he/she is doing with his/her life and emphasize that the questions that are asked by the media 99% of the time are complete fucking nonsense. I hope it won’t give me too many palpitations 🙁 .

I intend to stick to water tonight…

~~~

23:24 (11:24 PM) 

We’re in club Nova. Kendrick Lamar’s Swimming Pools is playing in the background. It’s quite rustig sill. DJ Elli-BS’s set is lit like usual.

I numb down my emotions so heavily when I’m sober, I really want to get intoxicated and feel something, but it’s not good for my health…

Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections

180 Days of Fangs

There’s a crucial difference between writing general self reflection and writing an online diary post, to me. It’s in the concept of time. In an online diary post, I reflect the emotions I feel – still not in the peaceful state I want them to be in – to the way I experience time as I’m writing that exact post, by means of showing a(n alternative) contemporary life – it might be interesting to reflect back on it in 10 years and see how much life has changed, hopefully with D.O.C.I.S. International – and of preserving my long and short term memory.

Why 180 days, in the title? Because I have 180 days of diary posts, today.

I started this blog after I released the first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I, in April. [This episode can now be read in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I.] Then, I was still under relatively intense surveillance [it was worse before I started the blog] from the people from the psychiatric industry. “My parents” and them are convinced that I’m a schizophrenic.

It all started when in an answer to a question about my whereabouts, I said that doctor B.S.Y. Crutzen is a friend of mine, with whom I talk about my business plans. And that he is interested in working together with me, and that he will be my escape from my parents’ house.

How this led to me being falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia, is broken down in detail in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I, in which I extensively describe why this is a limitation to my freedom in doing business and how, only if other people were to join me in my endeavor, I could bypass this. The book has no sales.

The dumbest part of their diagnosis, is that the research hospital has drawn its conclusion, of doctor Crutzen being only a voice in my head, without actually involving him in the research process. They should have invited me and him over to a session, and hear from him “That he doesn’t even know me”, because according to them, a drop out can’t be friends with a professor. They refused to involve him in the research process. I miss him 🙁 . They know that.

By clearly running away from them [four times…], I’ve been able to distance myself from them,  but not from the final legal say they have over me, due to their false diagnosis. This stressful absurdity resurfaces in my posts almost daily, because it has changed my view on life so much, in a negative way.

Because I want to emigrate to the United States, since I need to live somewhere, while my corporate state isn’t there yet [and I love the warm weather, the rate between available space and people [as an individual, you have much more space to live, there, for a lot less money, compared to the Netherlands] and the creative strategy of the Republican government… Plus, I’ve taught myself American English – while I’ve been taught British English by my grandmother and in school – and I consider the US the heart of global publicity, so since I want to go global, it really seems like the place to be, for me…], I want my files to show the truth about me.

The parties with authority over me and I are not on the same page. They’re the ones who are authorized to edit my medical record, but they have a completely different opinion about me. It’s a very negative one, I don’t agree with. They’re not open to let me revise it. They don’t even want to show me what they’ve exactly written down in it. All I’ve seen is a collection of summaries, of which the pessimistic view has shocked me. I think this has added to my post traumatic stress…

I’m not saying that I’m fully healthy, since I just mentioned the PTSS and from the white blood cells in the infection that is currently still visible in my urine, even after antibiotics from Germany, I might have a serious physical illness. [My Dutch physician finds me incompetent and because of that she refused to refer me to a hospital, so I was bound to searching for help abroad.] I’m just saying that the diagnosis schizophrenia is fucking bullshit.

The only other way for me to achieve this correction of my record – I consider it clearing my name – is if my supporters were to stand up for me. I find it very important that my files show the truth about me, because I want D.O.C.I.S. International to be a multinational business and work together with powerful individuals.

Simultaneously, I’m trying to get this business off the ground, be able to afford a home and pay back my study loan, but since no one is paying for my work – solely looking at what I publish for free – I’m forced to go back to working for a boss again [ :'( ], unless things were to finally change in my favor.

For those who just have tuned in to my life, the amount of text here might be quite intimidating, and that’s not my intention! So I hope that this article will make things clear for you.

I also hope it will lead to the shift I’m trying to cause. The shift in which I’m finally able to live a happy life and put my concept of a new, better and legal parallel system into practice. True sustainability is the most important aspect of that system. It’s parallel, because I believe an individual should be able to choose in what type of system he or she lives, instead of suddenly being forced to go to school and work and have loans, et cetera, in the end just to serve your basic needs. I did not sign up for that life…

The Diary’s Timeline 

April 17: This is the day I wrote my first diary post. I mentioned that after being done with working on the D.O.C.I.S. International website, I would have time to be blogging and not worry about anything else. I just released the very first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I. But I mentioned that – not having to worry – because I expected my book to sell. It didn’t. This was before I unpublished the episode. Throughout my posts, you might notice how much this increases to eat at me. Another reason for frustration was that I was under surveillance – as in that I slept at my parents house [and from time to time I stayed with a grandmother for a week or so, when staying at my parents’room house drove me too crazy] and I had to see a “government therapist” every week, while I don’t agree with their diagnosis and treatment. On April 23 I had one of those mandatory sessions.

April 17 – April 24 were written in the Netherlands. At some point, I received a phone call about that I had to do another blood test to show that I was taking the antipsychotics. I thought it was a one time thing. I passed the first one by taking an overdose, but I didn’t want to do that again. Plus, my values must have been higher by then, so I wouldn’t pass it anyway. Even in the hospital, I wasn’t taking the medication for most of the time. I lied about it, which is why I got out at some point. But I risked getting a warrant for not taking the medicine, so my intention was to leave the country and seek for a solution. I didn’t take the blood test.

April 25 – April 27 were written in France. It was my first time “away from the psychiatric industry featuring my parents”, since April 2017! (April 2017, because that was when I came in touch with that industry for the first time…)

April 27 I was on my way back from France to the Netherlands. I, there,  wrote my diary update on paper, while I was in the train. The pictures of the text were taken in the plane to Surinam I was on, the next day. That’s why you see the scenery of an economy class plane – so the April 28 scenery – with the text I wrote on the 27th.

April 28 – May 19 were written on the way to, from and in Surinam, where I was on a holiday with my family. On May 6 the whole situation with them treating me “like I’m a schizophrenic” was frustrating me so much, that I decided to plan a one-way escape to the US. Another reason was the blood test I didn’t take. From that date onward, the plan developed itself. Here’s the video I was recording when I got the idea, in case you’re interested in watching it: [I don’t consider this a video of good quality. If I were to have a budget, my videos would be a lot better.]

In Surinam, I released some music, recorded in my bedroom there. The audio was recorded with my phone and I made the beat with the little MIDI keyboard I bought in Paris.

On the last night there, I met someone in a club. He was the first and only person who bought the very first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I. I unpublished it in June, when I was applying for jobs, because I thought that it might cause the employer to refuse me as a potential employee.

May 20 – May 22 were written in the Netherlands. I had to travel back there first, because the ticket to Surinam was booked far in advance and I actually wasn’t allowed to travel to the US, because the parties with authority over me found it too far from home, and thus too dangerous “for a schizophrenic”. It was my intention to show that I don’t need their supervision – it drives me crazy – and an attempt to get Project Nosce Te Ipum off the ground, there. I hoped to be able to start a new life. [Very unfortunately, I didn’t succeed.]

May 23 – June 8 were written in the United States. Until May 26, I was in Baltimore. When I came there, all I had were my ESTA, a reservation for three nights at the Red Roof (more I couldn’t afford when I was secretly booking), my most valuable belongings and about €900 to spend until the end of June. The money was study financing, because I’m a student at The Open University in Milton Keynes. (It’s a university specialized in distance learning, so I’m free to travel, basically whenever I want to and can afford it.)

The emotional aspect of my departure – “my father” sent me such a cold hearted text message, when he found out that I left and my mother made me feel so guilty for leaving – made me want to be alone. It was my intention to promote my book and otherwise search for a job, but that and the financial stress kept me from engaging in social interactions, because I did not want to speak about my life, but it’s almost inevitable, when you meet someone new.

As my three day stay came to an end, I was certain that with my budget, I wasn’t going to be able to keep affording a roof above my head. I accepted the chance of ending up homeless and decided to try to give myself a good time, with the money I had. I decided to go to Miami, because last minute tickets to Los Angeles were too expensive, with the intention of being able to go to the beach. (It was my second time in Miami, but I still haven’t gone to the beach there.)

I chose to stay in hotels instead of hostels, because I carried a lot of emotionally valuable luggage with me – in my suitcase with a broken back wheel – and the sadness made me want to lay in bed, all alone, for most parts of the day. At some point, this caused me to not be able to afford a proper meal. One day, I was only able to eat a Burger King deal of $1.50 or something, for 10 spicy popcorn nuggets.

While I was going through all of this, I never blocked and/or deleted “my parents” on my phone, so they could still reach me. I ignored the hateful message of “my father”, but I couldn’t not respond to my mother’s sad text messages.

At some point, she offered to send me money, so that I had an alternative to being homeless. I refused it, in the beginning, because I can’t stand the way “my parents” always tell me that I cost them too much. By means of saving myself, within 24 hours, I wrote a second episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I and released it. Again, it had no sales at all. Here’s the explanation video I had made for it, within that same period of time: https://youtu.be/7jp2PYZRAG0 

I decided to go in to my mother’s financial offer. She asked me what I wanted. I told her a one way to California and one month of rent, for an apartment, with the intention of working as a Dutch translator somewhere there. She didn’t want to give me that. She extended my stay at Extended Stay for a night and bought me a one-way back to the Netherlands.

To make sure that those people from the psychiatric industry didn’t fully claim my agenda again, I started to look for a full-time job, even before I went back to the Netherlands. In my last hours in The States, I also made an appointment to officially register Fangs/D.O.C.I.S. International as an official sole proprietor business, even though I hadn’t sold anything yet. It was because I didn’t want to set aside my business endeavor, when I worked 40 hours a week, and end up being someone saying: “I had plans of starting my own business, but now we’re 30 years further and I still work here…”

I told my mother, I didn’t want to see “my father”, so at first, she booked us a hotel room in Utrecht from June 9 until June 11. There we were going to see “what feels right”, when it comes to staying somewhere, so if I was going to go home or do something else. She said that if I were to rent an apartment – social housing, for people with a lower income – that she would pay part of the first month of rent for me.

So after we stayed in Utrecht, because I wanted to be able to cook myself, she booked me the cheapest hotel-apartment available. It was in Bad Boekelo, in a resort. I was there from June 11 until something like June 23. I absolutely loved the short experience of having my own apartment. The area was amazing, too. Very quiet, with a lot of nature.

On June 14, I was invited to a house visitation. The social housing system works with a random selection by a computer. I was 6th on the list and “unfortunately”, someone who was higher on the list showed up at the visitation, too, and took the house. It felt like losing. I was so fed up by it, that I didn’t even go in to it on my blog. I hadn’t been invited to a house visitation ever since. Now, I’ve stopped trying, since I don’t even want to live in a social housing project. I want to live in California. And I actually have a very expensive taste….

In the rest of my time in that apartment, I worked on my assignments for The Open University and I was working on some free content for this blog. And an app for it, too, but when I started to work 40 hours a week, I ended up not making the app.

When I had to check out of the apartment, I moved in with one of my grandmothers. On June 25, I officially registered Fangs/D.O.C.I.S. International.

On June 26, I had a job interview at Young Capital, a recruitment agency, to see if I qualified for a job at the ANWB.

On June 28, I had a job interview at the ANWB itself. But somehow, I wasn’t able to find my public transportation card and I didn’t have money to buy a new one. It was still quite a while before the interview, so I decided to cycle from Rotterdam, Delfshaven to the ANWB headquarters in Den Haag. It was one hour and 24 minutes from door to door.

I called the recruiter to say that I was going to be a little later. My ETA was 8 minutes after the group interview was about to start, but my soft tyres and tripping phone compass made me be later. When I was 20 minutes away, I received a phone call from one of the co-recruiters, who asked if I could come the next day, because I had missed the introduction round.

My videos are rarely watched, so I’m not incentivized to upload them, but here’s some evidence of me cycling there. (The dress code was informal, so that’s why I was dressed like that.)

In one of the videos I say: “I’ll get the job, for sure.” And I got it 🙂

June 30, I worked at Concert at Sea for a day. My job was to sell bus tickets from the festival to the camping.

All geared up…

After working [from 7 the morning until like 7 in the evening] in the burning hot sun all day, I went to the coffeeshop near my grandmother’s house. I met someone there, who took me to a house party. When something happened there – I’m a total noob when it comes to illegal activities, so I didn’t get what was going on – and we all had to dash away, that person was holding my bag – I practice an intense form of trust – with my phone, my keys, my passport, my driver’s license, the author’s copy of the first episode of Nosce Te Ipsum I, which is now unpublished, the book of a friend of mine and the notebook I bought in France. I took so many things with me, because I considered running away again.

After dashing away and being without my phone and keys around midnight, I followed someone else who was at that party, to his home and stayed with him until my first day of work at the ANWB. It was a form of escaping things…

The vacancy I applied for, at the ANWB, was for processing holiday insurance claims related to transportation. The hotline side of it. It was a Summer function. I worked there from July 2 until September 2. It was quite stressful and a huge challenge for my temper. Nevertheless, I’ve been a very loyal employee. I’ve only missed one day of work and the amount of cases I’ve processed was far beyond the average.

Because of my occupation and work hours, I could go back to living with “my parents” without them complaining about that I don’t have a job and that I’m at home too much. I often worked on the weekends. The shift hours varied between 8 AM – 04:30 PM and 01:30 PM – 10 PM. The late shift was my favorite, because I had more time to sleep and it was easier for me to not get caught when I got high after work every day.

During my time there, I also had assignment deadlines from The Open University. My year started in January, so my break is from September until January. Not long after my contract ending at the ANWB, I had my final assessments of the curriculum. For Statistics, the assignments could be done at home. For Mathematics, I had to make an exam in a conference room at a hotel in The Hague on September 21. By means of being able to fully concentrate while studying, I checked in on the 20th and checked out on the 22nd. I passed Statistics with 58% and Mathematics with 70%.

In between then and now, a lot has happend. To summarize it all – because reflecting on this all makes me so sad, I prefer to keep it as short as possible – I’ve been kicked out a few times. Because the natural circumstances in the Netherlands cause fear with me, and I’m usually not allowed to travel long distances, I took this opportunity and went to Germany [which was what my budget allowed. Of course, I would have gone to California if I could], among other reasons.

I took that opportunity to continue the medical research, which I did on October 11, I believe. I’m bound to seeking medical assistance abroad, because my Dutch phycisian (P. Khajehi) solely believes that I’m mentally insane and thus does not take my medical complaints seriously.

In Germany, at some point my bag was stolen, in which were my bank cards, my passport, my external hard drives, my grey notebook, my earrings, my copy of Letters from a Stoic and other valuables. I was bound to going home, because working there became impossible. Now, I’m staying with family friends in Amsterdam.

On December 23, I got the idea to attempt to accomplish my endeavor via politics, instead of via independent business, because I don’t have a lot of money, and it could be accomplished faster via politics. This plan is now in development. You can follow the process in my online diary, as well as a lot of other things.

Because I aspire a career on the highest level humanly possible, I want my records to resemble the real me. Currently, that is not the case.

Here’s a quick impression of the current state of my medical record [but I my nationality is Dutch, so that’s unfortunately “what counts” in most of my life].

We weren’t done with all of the research yet. The Harnwegsinfection includes white blood cells and keeps returning, even after antibiotics.

They also gave me haldol, fluanxol, abilify, quetiapine, lorazepam and the list goes on

They did not follow the law. I find the existence of the psychiatric law something very scary. I didn’t know about its existence, until I was suddenly stuck in the middle of it.

I’m not dumb and vague. They’re just not able to understand my level of intelligence.

I don’t agree with any of the shit that is in my medical record, to this day. Except the findings from Germany, but that’s not in my Dutch medical record.

I haven’t said all I want to say, in this article, but what I want to say, has been mentioned in my online diary so very often already, I don’t want to put myself through it again. This article was finished Monday, December 24, 18:48.

Happy holidays ♥.

I’m pro international technocracy, by the way.

Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections

D. O. C. I. S. 

D.O.C.I.S.

The abbreviation in the name of the international business I intend to start, called D.O.C.I.S. International, stands for:

Determined

Observant

Colloquial

Intelligent

Stratagem

 

D.O.C.I.S.
Nosce Te Ipsum I, Book I, Episode 2

Copyright © 2018 by Lil Fangs. All rights reserved.
Sharing content of this book is only allowed when it is mentioned that the source is this copy.

ISBN: 9789082936834

D.O.C.I.S. International

 

Prosperity

Within the new Standard we shape

Determined and Strategic Decisions, fast like Bliksem

We’ll Create a whole new System

From the routinous Life, this is your Escape

These Words are Written for Unification

Feel my Sincerity

Towards the Power of Our Creation

To See Real Prosperity

 

 

 

Contents

The Overall Insight of the Series

Every individual should have the right to live independent from the political and financial systems we have been born into, is one of the core aspects of the philosophy of D.O.C.I.S. International.

The complex of institutions, governments and a lot of things happening “out of sight”, can determine someone’s entire life. The philosophy says that that is wrong. It can give someone the sole purpose of living for consumerism, while he or she actually has the capacity to be so much more than a consumer working to pay for his or her consumerism. Our hearts crave more freedom of choice in the way we spend our time. To some, including me, Dominique Daniëlle Elia, the construction of this system negatively influences the conscious. I am not going to wait around until a person of power makes the societal change I need to see, in order for me to live happily. It includes that Earth needs to be a safe and healthy place for everyone, anywhere. To create this, internationally, D.O.C.I.S. International is my initiative.

I don’t want to be another person who only talks about how things could become better, but never brings real solutions into practice. In this book, I explain to you how I intend to take my steps. To determine the success of the strategy of the organization, Project Nosce Te Ipsum is the introduction project of D.O.C.I.S. International. A combination of research and entertainment, intended to work together on our own compound, in search of more sustainable survival methods, and to inform the public of our findings in an engaging way. I hope that our paths will intertwine and that we’ll write history together.

To fit everything into a semi-modern phrase: “I think Earth needs a make-over.” I think I’ve found a way to make a change and have fun at the same time. You are fully free to decide how you spend your time, when you choose for Re-Illu as your government.

After reading this episode, you are in possession of the knowledge needed to obtain a function in D.O.C.I.S. International. This free episode is written [written, like all other episodes, in the D.O.C.I.S. International type of series] I’m basically trying to start a new society that lives in a different system that is economically parallel [parallel, because people should have the right to choose in what system they live] for the recruitment will be ready to seat yourself in your special Council member chair and provide the world with the changes it needs. If you decide to become part D.O.C.I.S. International network and you become elected, the chair is yours.

Also, you will be fully up-to-date with the past and present of the company and you will know the ins and outs of the fields the organization will be active in and what its strategies lead towards. Hopefully you will participate in the process.

D.O.C.I.S. International is currently a sole proprietor business, owned by Lil Fangs. Her vision for this company, is described in a long conversation between her and her alter alter ego Daniëlle Lucy, who she considers an improved version of self.

This way of breaking down real business content, in an imaginary setting, shows the stances of Fangs in a lot of controversies. How exactly her stances have been established, will be explained throughout the main content of this book as well. Its main purpose is, however, to serve as a guide for those who would like to live by the philosophy of D.O.C.I.S. International and obtain a position of power, within the organization.

Here is an explanation of the text format:

Name: This is a thought from Name.

Name: “These are words spoken by Name.”

Actions are described in regular prose.

Nosce Te Ipsum

*The intentions of the project, what will stay and what will change, how this will be done*

Lil Fangs: The wind whistles, as it rapidly flows past the closed pink shell. The water is splashing in my face, from the fast movement and the turbulence. The muscles of the scallop are so strong that I only hear the wind and don’t feel it. I try to convince myself that I’m asleep. I don’t dare to open my eyes.

Lil Fangs: Out of nowhere, in a sort of momentum, I’m pushed further into the violet tongue, which is my bed and pillow at the same time. I’m now pressed against it so deeply, that the muscle touches my crown, and the other half of my face is covered in water. 

Lil Fangs: Okay, that must have been the landing, about which I’ve been taught in Fang School. It wasn’t that bad. Descending from the Moon towards the Earth wasn’t that bad either. 

Lil Fangs: The shell opens. It hovers above the ocean, which has the notch of an inverted cupola in it, which resembles the impact of the shell that dashed down to Earth, the way a meteor does – besides that it hovers.

Daniëlle Lucy: “What did you just see in your Mind’s Eye? From the way you stare into the distance, I know you’re going through a lot of mental images and emotions at the same time.”

Lil Fangs: “It was the introduction scene of the Nosce Te Ipsum movie I have in mind, along with what I would truly feel, if what happened in the scene wasn’t fictive. The scene is a short and very literal parody on The Birth of Venus.”

Daniëlle Lucy: “I would love to see that vision in real life! Do you still intend to make that movie, now that the Nosce Te Ipsum book series are under change?”

Lil Fangs: “I appreciate your interest and enthusiasm so much, my Cuddle♥. I would loveeee to make it. Especially because the cast I’ve written down for it – I’m such a dreamer – consists of professionals from not only the field of entertainment… There’s so much information in it, which is a great form of showing that formal functions and entertainment do go hand-in-hand! I haven’t told anyone about the details of the movie yet. If I convince others of the potential success and positive impact of the movie, then the movie will be made, for sure! It’s also a great way to show another way in which D.O.C.I.S. International publishes and it’s a muuuuch better way to reach the masses. Hopefully I’ll get people excited for my alternative ecosystem.”

Daniëlle Lucy: “I’m glad that you are still eager to spread the knowledge you have collected for the series. But you have given me the knowledge of Nosce Te Ipsum to use to write Volta. Don’t you just want to be the person who shares the knowledge?”

Lil Fangs: “I’m afraid that, since the content of Project Nosce Te Ipsum is so broad, at some point it will touch on the lives of every single person om this planet, I should use the version of myself that is fully at peace with everyone and everything, which is you, so that they know for sure, that I don’t have bad intentions. With the project, my power will be as great as that of all presidents, kings and queens in one. You know how the masses are being manipulated into taking sides, without thinking about it themselves. With only mentioning this alias, or our real name, people can already have a negative bias these days. I fear that they won’t love me. I want to be loved…”

Daniëlle Lucy: “I might express myself in a more peaceful manner, but we’re the same person. We shouldn’t sweat ourselves for those who will feel negative about us, without wanting to put in some effort and energy to understand what we do and to understand how harmless our project is. The scale of the project is very large, so the main topics have been spread over several books. Let’s change this conversation around a little bit.”

The Scope of Project Nosce Te Ipsum

The goal of Project Nosce Te Ipsum is the recruitment and elections for positions in the renewed D.O.C.I.S. International, followed by all of the community moving to the corporate island state, if I’m able to find good investors… Until now, I haven’t been able to find people who understand the concept I narrow down in my books. I really hope you will understand. The process goes as follows:

  • Informing
    Informing you about the philosophy of our business and the alternative system we want to create. This episode gives you more information about how you can engage in our projects, too.
  • The recruitment and election period
    During the project, if you decide to join, you could prepare your case for The Online Think Tank of The D.O.C.I.S. Community or Re-Illu – the Committees and Senate that will form the corporate governance of the renewed D.O.C.I.S. International – and design your own living, for on the corporate land.
  • Saturnalia
    We initiate with the real life community on a miniature compound until D.O.C.I.S. Island/Planet Fang is finished according to our standards. (If you become part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, you can vote which one the first official name will be!) To celebrate our new life, we – the D.O.C.I.S. Community = will start it off with a Saturnalia festival with a benefit for all of Earth’s citizens.

Daniëlle Lucy: “I know you are fed up with no one buying your books and that this is having a bad influence on your self-confidence. But you have been studying the system for that long, I am certain that you will find the audience that will engage in your works! I find that you are the perfect person to be the Praesens of Re-Illu. After you have finished my training, the fate of all of The D.O.C.I.S. Community will be sealed!”

Lil Fangs: “It’s tough when you put in a lot of effort into something you’re passionate about and it’s not appreciated enough to make a living from. Really tough… But your words excite me! I love you so much! Thank you for helping me <3. There is this alternative and more sustainable ecosystem I have a strategy for, as part of the new country I want to start. I need my self-confidence back, to present it well…”

Determined

The way morals and values play a role in my business strategy, as well as its persistence in its perseverance, will be broken down in this chapter.

In this book, the setting in which the business content is broken down, is imaginary, for the time being, because D.O.C.I.S. International is not yet the multi-component holding it intends to be. The imaginative setting makes it easier to bring up the topics you need to be informed of in order to benefit from the final form of the organization.

The story takes place in The Cuddle Palace, where Daniëlle Lucy and Lil Fangs live, together with the rest of their Royal Resistance. In the Nosce Te Ipsum series [not Project Nosce Te Ipsum, because that takes place in real life] Planet Fang is a planet on which Fangyists live. A Fangyist is someone who looks human, but who has non-human anatomy and/or who follows the philosophy of D.O.C.I.S. International.

Ambushed

Lil Fangs was taken by the hand, by Daniëlle Lucy. While they continued their conversation, they walked across the palace, to a room. In front of the engraved dark oak wood double doors, they stop walking. She now holds Fangs’s hand with both her hands, while she says…

Daniëlle Lucy: “The first thing we’ll train, is your corporate defense. You’ll have to walk through this door by yourself. Every time you need to make a decision, I’ll freeze time, to hear the justification of your choice. To prepare you against your enemy, this is all the information I will give you about what is waiting behind that door.”

Lil Fangs: “Okay… I’m very curious…”

She opens the door. From everywhere, she’s blinded by flashing lights. A hundred people in formal clothing run towards her, with cameras and microphones. An even larger crowd is watching her being ambushed from behind “dranghekken” [translate the Dutch word to your native language. This is a small course in Dutch as well, since that is my native language] the way they’re aligned during the entry of Sinterklaas. They’re yelling all kinds of hateful things at her.

Lil Fangs: Holy shit… These people must be out for dirt… If this were not so, I would have been approached in a normal way. THEY WILL NEVER SUCCEED IN TAKING ME DOWN. WE NEED CHANGE!! THAT WHOLE FUCKING DIRT INDUSTRY SHOULDN’T EXIST!! THEY PROFIT OFF OF WARS THAT DAMAGE HUMAN LIVES – BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO WATCH THAT SHIT FOR ENTERTAINMENT??? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THIS PLACE?! – AND THE POLLUTION OF OUR PRECIOUS ENVIRONMENT. Now I know what type of defending I’m getting ready for. Of course, to them, I shouldn’t raise my voice… For a second, I thought that she was going to let me fight, haha. These media people get paid for attempting to destroy my name. Their existence is solely for incentivizing people to talk, and they only let people talk about how we are not succeeding, instead of how to succeed. That’s why I’m convinced that D.O.C.I.S. International should have the primate in publishing media. Everywhere. What we’ll published is focused on prosperity instead of destruction. But it’s only if the majority of people wants it… Is Daniëlle preparing me to work with Earth people…?

A suited up, tall brunette in heels, wearing a black suit and a pink tie, walks to Fangs in a straight line. Her hands are empty. The crowd moves aside for her, the way the sea spread for Moses(?).

Name and trustableness are currently unknown: “Good afternoon, Fangs. Please follow me.”

Lil Fangs: “Okay… Gezellig. Who are you? And where are we going?”

Lil Fangs: I don’t have much of a choice… Is she here to help, or is she here for dirt…?

Evella de Vrieskou: “Oh, sorry for not introducing myself first. My name is Evella de Vrieskou. I saw you being so overwhelmed by all of those camera’s, from my office window. I’m an author for the media publishing company that works in this tower.”

She points her perfectly French manicured nails towards the huge glass tower they’re walking towards.

Lil Fangs: “Oh. What type of works do you write? Are you going to let me wait in your office, until the cameras are gone?”

Lil Fangs: Why the fuck do some people always say that I’m physically expressing that I don’t have things under control? Externally, I was completely silent, so why does she say that I’m overwhelmed? I really don’t like when people want to tell me how I feel and they do it incorrectly. She must have a microphone on her. My annoyance makes me more eager to defend myself. I really am a good leader, and I will let her know.

Evella de Vrieskou:  “Haha, no… I’ve been anonymously watching you for a while and when I saw the way you were ambushed just now, I figured you’ll want an opportunity to prove that you are a good person. I quickly approached some of your supporters via social media and they want to help you prove the great potential future success of your strategy!”

Lil Fangs: “Well, that’s great! I have been craving for a good speaking opportunity! My target audience is hard to reach, because it requires a special type of intelligence to understand my words, and the people with that intelligence aren’t enthusiastic about social media either, so I’m very surprised and happy at the same time, that you have been able to find my supporters.”

Lil Fangs: The words I would have rather said, are: “NOT. WITHOUT. MY. LAWYER.” Because I know she won’t argue in favor of me. How do you casually assemble a crowd full of haters to stand there? She’ll probably use this dirt to write a bestseller or something. I stood there for like 30 seconds… There’s no way calling “my supporters” was an impulse she had just now. It takes longer than 30 seconds for her to get out of the building, so the must be part of the ambushing complot…. I’m far too used to fake people acting as if they want to help me and then they end up doing the most hurtful things. This is a challenge for my temper, because I’m so tired of them. It is very important for me to stay calm – so to not raise my voice as I defend myself – because they’ll use that as dirt, too. I might be able to be very loud, but in my strategies, I’m very calm.

As they enter the building, they’re trailed by a crowd of applauding and cheering people. The looks in their eyes makes it seem as if they all just won the lottery.

Evella leads her to the same double doors Daniëlle led Fangs to, in the parallel universe. Before the door, she stops and they face each other.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Aside from being an author, I’m also the host of a very popular TV show. Don’t you know “Het Trending Journaal”? My studio is my office. Welcome!”

She pushes down the door handle and opens it in one explosive motion. This time, the lights Fangs is blinded by the spotlights of the stage she’s walking on to. There are two dark blue lecterns slightly diagonally facing each other in front of something that looks like a formal bar stool.

Lil Fangs: [softly] “Thank you…”

The red curtains are not fully opened. Evella accepts a microphone, then passes Fangs and walks in front of her as she enters the part of the stage that is fully visible by the audience. Fangs stops at the line that indicates the coulissen, as she waits for her announcement and watches Evella’s hips move as she walks and seats herself on the black leather seating surface of the barstool with titanium legs, facing the audience.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Good evening, my lovies. Today, we finally have our chance to speak to the often discussed Lil Fangs. She doesn’t know about our show, so she doesn’t exactly know about what we’re talking about and about how she’s wrong, but today we’ll finally get our justice and answers. You might want to know who her opponent will be, well…”

Lil Fangs: Grrrrr…..

She stands up and for a few seconds she gazes at her audience while she has her arms across her body and her microphone in her right hand. Then, in her motion of turning around, she says:

Evella de Vrieskou: “It’s me…”

And she walks to the lectern that is furthest away from the wings [coulissen], to stand behind it. Introduction music with a lot of bass starts to play.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Please join us, Fangs…”

The audience starts to scream and applaud. Fangs walks towards the other dark blue lectern on the beige stage surface. The sound made her right eye twitch a little.

Lil Fangs: “Thank you for having me here.”

The background beat becomes louder. Evella starts to move along with the music.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Listen, you say your name is Lil Fangs. You think you’re real, but you’re not even doing real thangs. You’re doing all of this, solely because you want fame, and that while you’re not even part of the rap game.”

Lil Fangs: “It’s a shame that you claim that that is the aim behind my name. People like you are the reason I would rather get high by myself. In twelve reasons why my name is this fly, it includes my calm, while untamed in this realm, with this world in my palm. Now that I see your sitcom, this is a waste of my time, you’re too dumb. You don’t worry about flood, while I think of the taste of your blood.”

Evella de Vrieskou: “You’re bad, so just listen. You’re too young to change the system. You’re still at your mother’s house, with no spouse. Not running a big business. Not even in the world of Guinness. You’re a spy in disguise. You lying is not a surprise. After so many tries. No income, yes price. I’m a bad bitch, I need ice.”

Lil Fangs: “Don’t think of me as you when you were twenty two. My intelligence makes me find my own information. I want my freedom and for that I need my own nation. I think I would be hot as a spy, but that’s not what I do so nice try. And I just don’t understand how someone can be able to use an emotional trauma from bad financial circumstances in that context. It’s just a tough audience… How long were you planning to continue with this?”

The music stops.

Evella de Vrieskou: “Are you backing out?”

Lil Fangs: “No. Let’s make this a real debate. What other claims did you want to make about me?”

Evella de Vrieskou: “Only two…”

Lil Fangs: “Please tell me! I’m veryyyyy interested to know.”

Evella de Vrieskou: “Your first start-up, Elia PR (http://elia-pr.com), in 2016, was unsubscribed in less than six months. We don’t expect you to last long with this business either. What went wrong with your previously unsubscribed business?”

Lil Fangs: “I lost all of my clients even before I started to do business with them… I’m so passionate about achieving my goals, that I’ll never stop working on them. It’s a very long story I have been repetitiously explaining throughout my online diary.”

Evella de Vrieskou: “How do you mean you lost them?”

Lil Fangs: “Just like for this business, I started the business with no investors and a self-maintained website. It was hard to find clients that would be an asset to the portfolio of my business for public relations for individuals.

The two sole proprietor businesses – both owners I knew personally, before I started Elia PR – I was making a campaign for, both backed out when I gave them their quotation. Even though I had one of the lowest rates ever, they refused to pay. They expected me to do it for free, because we were acquainted, but since I started without investors and without savings, I couldn’t do that, so I lost them.

Not long afterwards, I found the perfect client. My sudden extreme faith in him wasn’t appreciated by the two relatives who have authority over me, because they didn’t know if they could trust him, they said.

They went as far as convincing people from the psychiatric industry that the client was a bad influence and that I was in a psychotic state. I couldn’t get out of the surveillance they had put me under, because they were not open to letting me prove my perspective and my authority was reduced illegally, so I decided to run away.

The same relatives then initiated an international police search mission in which they involved my client. There’s nothing more embarrassing than that, when you’re a business owner/your career is your main focus, I think. In their search campaign, they included negative statements about my mental well-being that were false. It is true that the authorities I was subjected to, made my feelings of powerlessness and thoughts of suicide worse, but I never lost my sense of direction. I never left the house in a confused state. It was my own decision to move that way, in an attempt for real freedom.

Yet no one believes my story. They believe my relatives, saying that I have no sense of reality and that me being less happy and spontaneous is caused by that mental illness, while it comes from the emotional damage that their treatment has given me.

I have been able to reduce the surveillance, but – even though I’ve been trying – I’ve never been able to reach that client again. After I lost him, those same relatives forced me to unsubscribe my business. I still feel grief when I think of the moment I signed for its unsubscription. I will never let them influence my business decisions again.”

Lil Fangs: I don’t like telling the same story over and over again… But for the sake of those who do want to walk this path with me, I want to make everything clear.

I hope people understand why I register a business without investors and clients. The investor needs to be paid back in more than full. By postponing his/her engagement, I’ve given myself more time and space to research my audience its behavior and adapt my service to them.

Now, for D.O.C.I.S. International, the time has come to find them. The clock is ticking and it’s getting harder for me to keep my audience’s attention.

Evella de Vrieskou: “How do you mean that you will persevere, when the businesses you’ve started were in completely different branches? And how did you get the idea that you’re able to change the system? Much older and much better educated people have been at that for decades and our world is still like this. And how do you expect to win people’s trust if you have been diagnosed with schizophrenia?”

Lil Fangs: Is she sure that she has been reading my blog… I’ve been explaining the same thing for months.

Lil Fangs: “The goal of the multi-component organization I want my company to grow out into, has never changed. The alternative system is what I live for… Only my approach how to get there has changed.

With the PR business, I would reach my audience by campaigns and the interactive blog everyone could post on. With Fangs/D.O.C.I.S. International, I reach my audience with what I publish and I’m personally approachable for business enquiries.

I need people to accompany me in my creative path, for the business to grow. Both businesses include a large recruitment campaign in the broad range of fields of the multi-component organization will be active in.

Sure, people might have tried to make changes to the system. Some might even have succeeded without you knowing.

The idea of a perfect system is always subjective. I hope that my idea will be seen as perfect by the majority or at least a community big enough to be seen as a minority.

Because of the subjectivity, I do not intend to get everyone on my side. I believe that people shouldn’t be forced to choose a path, and thus it is important that becoming part of the system of D.O.C.I.S. International is a well thought-out decision about which the individual is fully informed. By not making it mandatory, I also have the chance to filter out the best and most motivated people.

I know what needs to be done to set in motion a parallel financial cycle, where we’re financially unaffected by what happens in the other system, and I have the knowledge to give everyone the basic essentials of life and more, including the perfect occupation, for an infinite period of time, with guarantee. This knowledge I have from observing our current system and some self-initiated research.

Because of the diagnosis that has been given to me – a diagnosis I do not agree with at all – I expect most people to not listen to me, but to look for signals of the illness. In my diary, have written everything down about my thoughts, beliefs and experiences, from the outmost personal perspective, with the intention of showing you the reasons why I believe that I am not a schizophrenic. The reader is free to decide what he or she believes. That’s something I live by.”

Time freezes with everyone in it, except Fangs. A bright light and big cloud of smoke appear on the leather surface of the chair on the podium. With her legs crossed and her hands on her right knee on top, she emerges out of the ether, saying:

Daniëlle Lucy: “Instead of talking about the actual content of your diary, she’s still only touching the surface. Some Earthlings aren’t able to grasp the idea of the alternative system you speak of so often, so then they start to make weak statements about you, like she did. I think you’ve done well.”

Lil Fangs: “Thank you. Her stance still eats at me a little. I have the feeling I haven’t used my best arguments yet. I found her so extremely biased.”

Daniëlle Lucy: “Unfortunately, that really is something we can’t avoid. Your content is too much and too unique for people to quickly understand all of it, so those without patience will resort to a negative bias very fast.

With the next person you’ll talk to, you won’t have to worry about that at all! It is a famous character from your Nosce Te Ipsum series! Your next challenge is to recruit him/her for the right function in your organization.”

Lil Fangs: “That’s great! I’ve been waiting for that for so long.”

Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem

This takes place in a simulation of a big deserted island, which has an oasis in the middle of it. Fangs has prepared a picnic and a contract.

Lil Fangs: “Hi, I’m Dominique. You must be here for your recruitment.”

She gets up from the big flying carpet, to shake your hand. You appeared from the smoke and the big bright white light in front of the picnic scene.

The way questions have been numbered is a continuation of the previous Nosce Te Ipsum episode.

You: “Yes, I am!”

You shake hands.

Lil Fangs: “That’s awesome! Please join me on this carpet. I’ll show you the land that will be turned into D.O.C.I.S. International’s corporate island, while I ask you some questions that lead to the conclusion of your recruitment. Also, please don’t hold back with eating! Want a fig?”

She stretches out her arm to hand you the fig.

You: “_________________________”15

Path type

Lil Fangs: “Project Nosce Te Ipsum has three paths for the recruitment for D.O.C.I.S. International. Each path has its own rewards and expectations. Which one would you pick?”

  1. Practitioner
    On this path, the least of your time will be filled with the occupations that come with choosing D.O.C.I.S. International. The only thing you need to do is complete the series.
    “The Practitioner is part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community. He or she gains access to gathering locations on earthly compounds – after we’ve established them – by completing the online questionnaire that comes with every Nosce Te Ipsum episode after signing up at the D.O.C.I.S. International website. I’ll get to that around the 29th…”
    D.O.C.I.S. International Source: (Elia, Dominique) LilFangs.com/Tuesday-november-27-2018
  2. Illuminatus
    The Illuminatus/Illuminata [Illuminati] path is also the name of a subject group in Project Nosce Te Ipsum. He or she earns the title from completing an assignment for D.O.C.I.S. International. You could choose from the following categories:

    1. Statistics
    2. Retail/Export
    3. Psychology
    4. Neuroscience
    5. Medicine
    6. Mathematics
    7. Linguistics
    8. Entertainment
    9. Engineering
    10. Ecology
    11. Design
    12. Culture
    13. Crisis Management
    14. Athleticism
    15. Artificial Intelligence
    16. Architecture and Real Estate
    17. (Mass) Technology
    18. (International) Politics
    19. (International) Law
    20. (International) Economics
    21. (International) Business
    22. Fangyism

    “[Chair level Senate @ Re-Illu]”
    D.O.C.I.S. International Source: (Elia, Dominique) LilFangs.com/Tuesday-november-27-2018

  3. Illuminatus Intelligens
    The Illuminatus Intelligens completes assignments in all categories we will operate in. The Parliament of Re-Illu sets out the benefits related assignments for everyone in The D.O.C.I.S. Community.

“Chair level Parliament [of the private holding D.O.C.I.S. International [is what I hope, since I’m looking for investors…]]

How about a “bring your own pan” tea party? At the festival?”
D.O.C.I.S. International Source: (Elia, Dominique) LilFangs.com/Tuesday-november-27-2018

[Indicate your path of choice with a capital letter] You: “_______________”16

Collective Function

Resources owned by D.O.C.I.S. International are, when they are at its disposition locations, free is you are a member of The D.O.C.I.S. Community.

Lil Fangs: “We offer the following collective functions. Please choose one:

  1. Leading
  2. Controlling
  3. Consulting”

You: “__________________________”17

The D.O.C.I.S. Community

The sole proprietorship D.O.C.I.S. International is in search of investors and network members on the path of international expansion, where we could – if you, my dear reader, decide to become part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community – start a new society on the corporate land of D.O.C.I.S. International, if I’ll be able to find investors after releasing this free ebook…

If you are interested in becoming part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, I will need your contact information and the budgeting of all of your essentials, because becoming part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community means becoming part of a new system.

To become part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, please fill out the form on https://docis.international and send the following information in your first application assignment – if you have submitted your application.

In your submission, please include the following:

  • Please introduce yourself 😀
  • Your motivation and aspirations regarding to becoming part of D.O.C.I.S. International.
  • Your answers to the questions one to fifteen of the newest Nosce Te Ipsum series.
  • Your contact information (of preference)
  • Your answer to the question: “What do/would you like to occupy yourself with on a regular basis?”
  • Your answer to the question: “What do you need money for in your daily life?”

The e-mail may not include attachment files. Only text… This for security reasons. I will be reviewing the e-mails manually. Please submit your application to becoming part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community to: office@docis.international and make the subject: “The D.O.C.I.S. Community”.

You can keep your e-mail very simple. You could stick to this format:

“The D.O.C.I.S. Community”.

[Greeting]

[Introduction of self]

My answers to the questions in the newest Nosce Te Ipsum episodes are:

  • *Your first answer*
  • *Every next answer on the next row, until your fifteenth answer*

[Your answer to the question about the occupation you prefer to have on a regular basis]

[What you need money for in your daily life]

[Ending and salutation]

 

If you’re interested in investing in D.O.C.I.S. International, please include this in the e-mail, too!

You could keep up with the development of D.O.C.I.S. International during Project Nosce Te Ipsum

The recruitment positions will be announced during the benefit I intend to organize for Christmas. If you’re interested in helping me out, as member of The D.O.C.I.S. Community, please let me know, too!

I’ll be writing.

I love you!

xxx

 

 

Blog, Drafts, Ex Animo, Reflections

Opposing views and speaking my mind

We engage ourselves in social interactions. All human beings have a unique perception of reality. If I were to describe the core of the contents of verbal communication, I would definitely include that the partakers in conversations, make statements about their personal experience of life. Some descriptions of this perception, can lead to discussions. 

To solely study, or to convince? 

I think that there is a lesson in most forms of communication. [Is dit populisme???????]

[Meow.] …

… Towards an example of a conversation leading to: “I avoid giving my opinion, when my view is the opposite of a stated opinion, because I know the person I am talking to, does not intend to learn from me, and thus solely force his/her opinion on me.”

This choice, I see as something that could, in the long term, manifest good and/or bad situations. 

Karma

[Meow.] …

For telling white lies instead of speaking the truth, I feel that in the way randomness in time manifests itself, things could turn out in a way that is opposite to someone’s preference. This stance is based on my perception of life, and could be interpreted otherwise, by someone else. 

It is as if the universe is telling me that I have done something wrong, and I need to seek a method to redeem from my wrong decision, to return to the path where my experience is in accordance with my preferred perception of life. To steer my mind towards better symmetry. 

The Path

[Meow.] Define what I mean by “The Path” and pose “negatives in current situation” and “description of improved situation”. Describe the method to find The Path. 

Volta is about The Path. 

Blog, Random Thoughts, Reflections

“Lil Fangs” is a temporary name

Until my name is cleared… 

This is a long story…….

Should I keep it short? 

My actual poet’s alias/composers name/writer’s alias is Δοκις, or “Docis”. 

As long as my name isn’t cleared and I can’t deliver the exact work I want to deliver, I don’t want to publish anything under the name that looks like the name of my organization. 

My name being cleared means that my side of the story is heard on the same scale as the story that is far from the truth, which has been spread over a scale so large that it worries me, when it comes to my future as a publicist. 

I can deliver the exact work I want to deliver, when I have assembled a team of creative and ambitious people, who I’ll then be able to compensate for the work they do. I’m currently doing everything [artwork, website maintenance, making beats, proofreading, the submission of the manuscripts to several distribution services, etc.] myself. In some fields, such as design, more time and effort is needed, which would be of better quality and be of more efficient use of time, when done by someone else. I need to earn/save up for this, though… That’s one of the purposes of the Nosce Te Ipsum book series… 

Blog, Random Thoughts, Reflections

My Interview with Smashwords

What do your supporters mean to you?
My supporters are my happiness. It is so comforting to know that there are so many more people out there, who are like me. I wouldn’t know what to do, without them…

What are you working on next?
The second episode of the first book of Nosce Te Ipsum I. The research questions for the entire series, I already have. The exact content of an episode, I like to write on-the-go, to give my audience a real-time update of the status of the project they’re a part of.

Who are your favorite authors?
I love Ovid, Seneca and whoever wrote or writes example sentences in (online) dictionaries… (So much of my time I spend writing, that I rarely read…)

What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
Project Nosce Te Ipsum! It leaves so much room for me to combine the skills I have. Another thing I love about it, is how it can bring together people from all over the world.

When you’re not writing, how do you spend your time?
When I’m not writing, I’ll probably be working out, playing the piano, cooking or hanging out :]. I spend most of my time writing, though.

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
Unfortunately, I don’t remember the first story. I do vaguely remember a story I wrote, with a character named “Lord of The Dark”, when I was about 10… I wrote it, because with the class for children with a high IQ, we were hosting the visitation of a Dutch author, and I wanted to give her something. I find it saddening that I don’t have a back-up of the story… Just like I don’t have back-ups from the stories I’ve written before that.

What is your writing process?
I reason out the main story-line first. After that, I make a short summary of bullet points, per chapter. The summary is only an indirect reminder for me to not fly off the main story-line (too far).

How do you approach cover design?
Because I make the covers myself, and I always want to publish a book as soon as possible, I tend to keep it simple. For the old episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I, for example, I re-used old images.

The constant rush is because I want to start Project Nosce Te Ipsum as soon as possible [for the togetherness :D] and I want to write myself out of student debt…

What is your e-reading device of choice?
My laptop, of which I can flip the screen in such a way that it can become a tablet, is my favorite e-reading device. I like that the device is larger than regular e-readers and I can make notes in the ebooks. I always make notes in the books I read… [I prefer paper over screens!]

Describe your desk 
Messy, too low and too small… Sitting behind it always makes my back hurt after a while, because I’m too tall for it, but this is the only size desk that fits into my bedroom. I used to study behind it, in high school, but now it’s more to store things on that don’t fit into my closets. A mannequin head I don’t have, so my wig hangs over my high black desk lamp. (I live with my parents… I want to emigrate, but I can’t, yet…)

I often write at the large dark yellow desk in my father’s home office, at the dinner table or at the dinner table in our small backyard.

Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
I grew up in Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. Very great parts of my childhood, I have spent with my grandparents. My grandmother (father’s mother) used to be a teacher and my grandfather (mother’s father) had a profession like the one I have now [doing multiple things independently, in multiple fields…]. They taught me how to read and write, before I went to school. They also encouraged me to keep writing.

My grandmother (born and raised in Surinam, just like the rest of most of my family) has worked and lived in England and the United States, before she moved to the Netherlands. She taught me British English, before I went to school. I think it’s because of American English media in the Netherlands, that I have an American English accent and adapt my grammar to that. 

Gymnasium is a level of middle and high school education in the Netherlands, where you are taught Latin and old Greek. I think I have the tendency to write long sentences, from translating Latin.

Published 2018-09-25.

Click here to see the source

Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum, Random Thoughts, Reflections

Do you believe that I will make it? 

My Cuddle,

Today, it’s the 22nd of September. As usual, I have given myself so much work that even talking to a friend/acquaintance who I’ve ran into, feels like an extreme waste of time, for every minute I spend working on project Nosce Te Ipsum, makes such a big difference in the long term.

Healthy would be to make the release later than the 30th. The 40 hours per week work agreement I’ve used to earn a small self-investment in this company, ended on the 2nd of this month. And then there were my final exams, of which the last one was yesterday.

Unfortunately, some factors in my personal situation don’t allow me to take my time to establish this project. (It’s not that bad, though, because I’ve already thought everything out. I only need to put it on paper/the internet…)

Here’s what I intend to do before the 30th:

  • Write a preface for the combined edition of the two previously deleted [deleted by myself, because some content could be considered very controversial, but this huge controversy isn’t the essence] NTI episodes and publish this
  • Write out the summary I’ve made for the new official first episode of NTI and publish this [with my publisher’s license, I still need to purchase]
  • Change the Project Nosce Te Ipsum page on this website
  • Make D.O.C.I.S. International a non-single-page website, which includes sign-up forms, polls and a members-only forum
  • Make online ads for the book and the project

With these steps, I’m trying to achieve the following:

  • Through Project Nosce Te Ipsum, conduct international research, in search of the Universal Standard of Human Reasoning, which will be used as the scope of D.O.C.I.S. International’s initiatives to boost our evolutionary process
  • Grow a community of today’s (new) pioneers
  • Make the Nosce Te Ipsum Certificate acknowledged in such a way, school isn’t a necessity to ensure yourself of a(n) [constant] income
  • Put into practice my plan for a movie that relates to the book episodes, along with some self-composed music

I really hope you’ll participate, my Cuddle :]. It would be so nice to have our own island…

Even though we’d then have our own island, our evolutionary aid could be in every country, if they’re open to it and if 75% [or 60%, not 50.01%! Preferred is 100%… I want real consensi…] of the D.O.C.I.S. International Council agrees with doing this. Our members who decide not to live on Planet Fang, will have acces to our aid, still. Anyone who participates in Project Nosce Te Ipsum, can become a member. Once, for a lifetime :]. (But of course you can always resign.)

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