Category

Strategy

Online Diary, Popular Posts, Strategy

Hmmm… Let’s do Nothing :D [Thursday, July 18, 2019]

I guess we don’t enjoy looking ahead. It’s important, though. But I’ll save it for when we really have to, then.

According to my statistics, yesterday’s post was not an enjoyable read

I didn’t enjoy yesterday that much either. To get to the point where I own this big broadcasting center (of books, magazines, entertainment videos, entertaining audio, and actual news broadcasts), own large parts of land world-wide and provide them with living facilities [get itt subtly building my own countryay ๐Ÿ˜€ ] – using mathematics for translating all changes and policies et cetera to the large scale – I just wanted to start setting everything up with my personal funds budget of almost nothing. That’s why I’m selling books and essays and setting up the D.O.C.I.S. Store et cetera. I need funds to get there. The type of funds not many investors dare to gamble with. So I’ve been doing everything myself for crazy long. My brain is refusing to continue working, because the results wouldn’t be what they would be if I were in charge of a (little) team, instead of doing everything by myself.

I’m just letting it all go for now. (Aside from the schematized version of FangCatje that I want to have to have sent before I drive to Amsterdam tomorrow.) My brain wants rest and I want to be your full-time entertaining distraction through the day. The wild fun Catje you come to visit every day, here in this far corner of the public web. ๐Ÿ™‚

We’re going to be chilling today my meoow. I’ve been putting myself under so much pressure for something people won’t anticipate on anyway. According to the guidelines of the Dutch government, for example, this is a domain that can’t be trusted. Is it because I’m black? ๐Ÿ™

Haha just kidding.(???)

Meoow I wish I were paid per blog visitor or something…

But anywayyy fun thoughts. ๐Ÿ˜€ My brain has a lot of fun thoughts as well meoow.

Like that the money from my savings account has been transferred to my debit account already and that I have my train tickets now yays. ๐Ÿ™‚ I can’t afford to spend the night there, unfortunately, so it will be a short day trip. I need to take my fatigue into consideration… So (ah unfortunately my meow ๐Ÿ™ ) I’ll be in Antwerp from about 11:15 until 14:45 this Friday…. I can take a (few) trains later home in case I find some affordable fun. But unfortunately not even a romantic dinner for one (I miss companionship even more though) when I’m there. I’ll be doing all of that in September though. ๐Ÿ™‚

Look at me take that little self-security leap of faith again the way I always do. Meow I love gambling with my life ahahahaha help it’s just boredom.

Ah meooow I’m going to finish my self-analysis for my therapist tomorrow, then head over there and after that I will be chilling like a wild Catje on fluff. What I’ll be doing…? We’ll find out together my meow it has been a long time ago that I considered D.O.C.I.S. International finished-ish and gave myself some space to breathe. Now I’ll just quit all deadlines and see wherever fate takes me because all of this web development and book writing and stuff has made me feel like I deserve some time to rest.

I absolutely hate that I haven’t earned a single coin with all of that soul tearing effort. ๐Ÿ™

Meoww I’m going to sleep. I’ll want to finish my analysis and will then have to drive for two hours there and back, so I really need this rest. See you later my meowww. ๐Ÿ™‚ (Right right right right? ๐Ÿ˜€ What do I need to do to cause this?)

Good night โ™ฅ

Updated 01:41 (AM) [Timezone UTC +2 (Amsterdam)]

xxx

Heys cute Catje of mineee ๐Ÿ˜€ ♥

How’s your day? ๐Ÿ™‚
I type that to show you that I’m very curious about the things you do and the things that are on your mind. It’s such a simple question that is most often answered with “Good” or “Great” or something. But I like using that question to get someone to unveil his/her personality. Unfortunately I can’t ask any further questions here – for the comment section is not used for that (yet?) – and my cookie settings aren’t that good yet that I can give you fully personalized questions. I can’t wait until I’m ProfFangs. ๐Ÿ˜€

I’ll be showing myself to you here, hoping that you will do the same to me when you get the chance.

The beginning chapter (after the introduction) of FangCatje is finished yayss. I sent it to my psychotherapist’s assistant right before I hopped in the car to Amsterdam, for my appointment with her. It was very comforting and much needed. To discuss my lifeline without any opposition. And I loved to hear their hypothesis! 😻 That my giftedness is the cause of my social isolation and feelings of depression. Yes that’s not something positive to hear about in general, but it makes me sooo happyyy because I’ve been hearing “psychotic person”, “schizophrenic”, “schizophrenic”, “schizophrenic” as a hypothesis for sooo long now. My giftedness is the main reason why I always feel lonely, so I’m so glad to finally hear a hypothesis in which I can actually recognize myself. Big yays. ๐Ÿ™‚

Some forehead brain vein is throbbing all of the time. Probably because I’m tired. So I’m going to catch some sleep and then print some things for tomorrow’s Antwerp yays.

Ah meow first I’m going to the supermarket to buy a salad meal because I’ll be dinner chilling with my sister because my parents are out for dinner meowww. And then I’ll pass outtt whoop whoop.

And then I’ll be back here to be your wild Catje yay yay yay. I hope to see you tomorrow wherever in Antwerp between 11:15 and 14:30 for some wild Fangyismness. ๐Ÿ˜€

Please don’t forget to subscribe to push notifications. ๐Ÿ™‚
All you need to do is click on the bell, click “subscribe” and allow push notifications. ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh and if you want to give me Life, please don’t hesitate. ๐Ÿ™‚
โ€œHi, Iโ€™ve created a payment request for Life. You can adjust the amount and pay with any bank in the Netherlands. Thank you!
https://www.ing.nl/particulier/betaalverzoek/index.html?trxid=KSm7epNHIR3J9WNfaNJvRKsWp2SU6VmAโ€œ

Updated 19:20 (07:20 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 (Amsterdam)]

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Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

Looking Ahead [Wednesday, July 17, 2019]

Heys my Catje 😸 ♥

Let’s spend today looking ahead.

There are many different contexts and scopes in which this can be done. For example thinking of next month’s budget for business operations today, or today thinking of what your dinner will be tomorrow.

In what ways will you be looking ahead? I would love to exchange ideas. ๐Ÿ™‚

Is it stressful but good (especially when you’ve spent enough time thinking about it) to you as well?

I will be re-estimating my store development progress and process to something that won’t make me pass out every time I’ve worked on it and I’ll see how serious my Summer budget/budget to go to Antwerp will be today.

So right now I’ll be getting ready to visit the bank and then I’ll be back here when I’ve visited it. I’m expecting about โ‚ฌ150 left on that account but I’m hoping for something better. Some more financial breathing space… Oh please. *fingers crossed* ๐Ÿ™

See you later xxx

Updated 12:00 (PM) [Timezone UTC +2 (Amsterdam)]

~~~

Meow ๐Ÿ™ I’ll be good though I hope

Ah meow another Tantalus torment moment. ๐Ÿ™ But it might still be okay.

At the bank I was told that they don’t do analog bank transactions without a debit account anymore. So to get the money left on my account I had the options to either cancel my savings account there or open a debit account there as well. There are monthly costs for that new bank account, so I decided to cancel it. The money left on it (about โ‚ฌ120 ๐Ÿ™ ) will be on my account by Friday. A return ticket to Antwerp is about โ‚ฌ100 and I’d like to purchase my ticket like today instead of on the day itself…

So from having the idea I could go there and maybe purchase a bikini for this Summer while I’m there – because it feels like such a waste of time and new terrain to explore to just go there, finish my admission and come back right away – I went to, after seeing a bank statement on the door matte today, just hoping that I could deduct what is left on my account. Now not even that is possible. My ABN savings account will be suspended by July 19th and then it will be transferred to my ING account. If you’d like to make the amount transferred to my ING account more exciting then please do not hesitate. ๐Ÿ™‚

I hope my parents would like to transfer that โ‚ฌ120 to me today – rather more so that I can pay my bills (my phone is โ‚ฌ56 this month meow et cetera) and buy some Summer essentials I mean since they want me to come along with them – so that I can buy my train ticket today.

This is a big motivation for me to work on the D.O.C.I.S. Store today. ๐Ÿ™‚ Meanwhile I also need to have the Dutch version of FangCatje finished for tomorrow, basically… Or at least some oversight so that my psychotherapist knows why I desperately need someone to level with, with some knowledge of the human body and the human mind.

But I want to guarantee my clients the continuous availability of the books I’d like them to read. It would be much better if there were D.O.C.I.S. editions of the public domain works I’d like to redistribute. Meoooow I need a printing press sooo much.

I really wonder what my university adventure will bring me… It would be cool if it will be an asset to my business endeavors. It could, however, also force me to tear everything down and become some 9 – 5 and then watching television all day person. Scared Catje… But I hope for the best. ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope I could collaborate with Graeynissis instead of being their subordinate. ๐Ÿ™

Hehe meow my desk chair was a hell for my back so I swapped it with one of my father’s desk chairs from the top floor.

This is soo comfy meoww I could fall asleep on this. Plus it makes me feel like royalty a bit already yays. ๐Ÿ™‚

The Oversight in Thinking Ahead

You’re done thinking ahead when you can simulate the entire happening mentally, including every scenario in which it could go down, and are prepared to intercept anything that could happen within that scenario. (Which is done more thoroughly when you can discuss the scenarios with someone who has a mindset similar to yours.)

Thinking ahead is something I love to do. But, I see now, only when my income is great enough to cover unexpected costs. I’ve been hiding from thinking of other scenarios, lately. (The past 36 months or so…) Now I want to get back on track. I hope to make some further miles today!

Unfortunately my fatigue is acting up again, so I’ll take a short nap. After that I’ll work on FangCatje and the D.O.C.I.S. Store. (I need that income my meowww…) Where my Book Club will be the most important!

See you later xxx

Please don’t forget to subscribe to push notifications. ๐Ÿ™‚
All you need to do is click on the bell, click “subscribe” and allow push notifications. ๐Ÿ™‚

Updated 16:39 (04:39 PM) [Timezone UTC +2 (Amsterdam)]

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Online Diary, Popular Posts, Strategy

New Starting Point Hi [Monday, July 15, 2019]

Hi. ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ

This is my new starting point. By that I mean that I’m trying to get my audience, my progress and our achievements in sync by recalibrating this website of mine, calling this post “Starting Point”.

In one of my “Kicking back to Kick off Kicking off” and “Het experiment” videos, I mention that some moments in my diary I’ve chosen to start explaining everything from scratch again, because it’s a lot of work catching up if you are a new visitor / don’t read my work.

Then my dilemma became “How am I going to explain that this is a starting point (or checkpoint)?” I’ve done it in many ways, but often wrapped in maybe too much creativity.

I think that this post is a much clearer starting point/checkpoint (depends on if you’ve seen the posts before this).

Hi, my name is Dominique, but (if I like you) please call me Fangs. ๐Ÿ™‚

LilFangs.com is one of my domains on the web.ย  I use my domains to scream for help whenever life becomes too much. LilFangs.com has over 500 blog posts and I’ve all written them myself. ๐Ÿ™‚

Today, though I feel like kicking back some more, I will be working on my bookstore and FangCatje.

I want my own private property. Can’t stand living on someone else’s private property. That’s why I decide to not rest and hope to make some book sales.

You’ll see me back here later – maybe because my fatigue is on some level. Please turn on push my notifications (by klicking on the bell on the bottom right of this view) so that you don’t have to refresh the page to see if I’ve returned all the time. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ll be eating my cruesli as first meal of the day now (craving for more stomach filling things that are tasty). xxx

The last video of my experiment is here:

Updated 13:30 (01:30 PM) Time zone Amsterdam UTC +2ย 

~~~

I haven’t eaten yet. I can’t do this thing where I feel like choking someone to death but then I fake this “all is fine” thing because I hate verbal arguments especially because people can’t defend themselves these days. I really need to be all alone.

It’s, by the way, my day to cook for the family again today. Every Monday and Saturday, since I was sixteen. As usual I hate it and don’t look forward to it.

Somebody please help het Fang Catje. ๐Ÿ™
It’s too hard for me to explain why I need international military assistance to improve the environment.

Meanwhile my body feels so exhausted that I really need someone feeding me grapes and stuff. That’s the type of care I need.

And some help solving this problem I have with my family. I want to vanish permanently and they have to let me go. I don’t want to sleep another day here the amount of crawling insects and the noise of this fucking absurd amount of illegal computers is driving me crazy.

Plus please get me out of here before the sluice door which is also the access gate to this neighborhood for cyclists and pedestrians will close for an entire month!?! The place is going to flood, isn’t it? Please get me out of here please. 😢

Updated 16:08 (04:08 PM) Time zone Amsterdam UTC +2ย 

~~~

My dinner yays ๐Ÿ™‚

Dinner was nice. My salad consisted of lamb’s lettuce, tomatoes, feta cheese, prosciutto di parma and a dressing of yoghurt, mayonaise, garlic, ginger, thyme and a dash of five spices.

In the spaghetti I put unions, tomatoes, pumpkin, cod fish, garlic, baharat, saffron, lemon and honey. ๐Ÿ™‚

Meow I still haven’t kicked back enough to kick off. But I should finish my things. ๐Ÿ™

Meanwhile I’m really stressed about the risk of this country flooding when the sluice here is closed. And exactly when it closes I’ll be staying in Egmond aan Zee for two weeks, which is even closer to the coast…

I use a starting point to re-explain my situation, but in these past few years that has become such a long and complicated story. Part of it includes the state of my heart. My aortic insufficiency makes me get tired fast. Part of my experiment has made me more tired. Now I feel like the bed pet of bed pets. 😴

But when it comes to the risk of this country flooding please give me some intel because I knooooow taking care of this generation is enough of a headache so please let me think ahead with you. I’m already ready for it meoww. If I write a thesis about it it will be tripple yays for all of us. ๐Ÿ™‚

Meow my sister is making cupcakes, so I’m watching Spiderman with the family, hoping that I can get some. ๐Ÿ˜€
Though I think I should go to bed…

Updated 22:34 (10:34 PM) Time zone Amsterdam UTC +2ย 

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Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Kicking back to Kick off Kicking off: A Random Experiment [Saturday, July 13, 2019]

Let’s say you’re jogging, right 😏 , and during that relaxing cardio exercise across beautiful landscapes you want to test how fast you can sprint. To measure your velocity, you have to decide on your start point and end point before you start your experiment.

You can decide to, for example, mark one tree as your beginning point and another as your end point, knowing that the distance between those points is, for example, exactly 100 meters. Then your distance is fixed. A start and end point based on distance. Time is variable in this case. To measure your velocity, you’ll have to measure ( = variable ) the time you take to sprint 100 meters. [And, spoiler, in the other example method the distance is variable and then I make my point, telling you why this title et cetera. Kicking off…]

You can also decide to set a beginning and end time. This can be, for example, 00:00 and 03:34, sprinting to the Summer jam you’ve been listening to all Summer. Exactly one song (which is long for a sprint but again this is just an example). Then your time is fixed. But this can also be during your jogging.
You can also decide to set a random time for yourself, like 1 minute. On your activity tracking app/device/anything, you can, for example haha, be running for 42:33. Still you’ll have to know where you have started from, but your end point is variable. You will initiate your sprint from your randomly chosen starting point and then stop at 43:33 (or the end of your Summer jam) – and if you have a good activity tracker then that will do the rest.
If your activity tracker doesn’t do the magic, you’ll have to measure your steps walking back from your end point to your starting point. [I’m not a physic but I know this is correct and this is bloody original off the top Fangy text yay 😸 . Ask my Graeynissis who are able to see a vision of me in real-time in their minds all day every day.]

In that little jogging experiment, where there are set clear boundaries to measure your own competence. You smoothly transition from relaxation into focus and know when it happens.

Kicking back to Kick off Kicking off

My body is aching, my mind is restless and my competence is all over the place. (Moving words like that come out of nowhere and I’m trying to transition you into it but even for that I need a beginning momentum spoiler alert.)

I think it would be easier to get my mission across (not point in this case because my mission consists of pointssssssssssss) if I would in my diary clearer indicate when I transition from relaxation into focus. I don’t think we’ve seen real relaxation in this diary yet ever even and I’ve been doing this for over 500 posts ahahahaha. It would also be better for my mind to use today to absolutely not pressure it with anything. Not even trying to explain anything anymore today (aside from the physics in the introduction and why this title). And this sentence:

So today I will be doing what is utmost relaxing to me (except cooking but gotta survive so meowwww) and tomorrow I will define what my starting point is, acting as if these 500+ posts were jogging and tomorrow I will define the starting point of my sprint.

My mind finds that relaxation is a reward that should be earned after having earned or completed something. But it has been quite some fucking time ago since I’ve earned or completed anything (like a course or show or something) – at least 8 months but finishing an open university course year doesn’t give me a qualification for anything in this world so it’s useless and doesn’t even really count which is why I say “at least” the next big thing is graduating from high school – so my mind hasn’t had a “hard work really pays of, glad to have received this figurative trophy, time to relax, celebrate and be proud of myself” moment for so long that it has been working so hard fiending for a new rush like that. That will be the scope after I’ve been kicking back, today. Kicking back to kick off kicking off.

Kicking back how?

Back is not “Back” because short words are not capitalized in a title, it’s not a noun and I like the word Kicking more than I like the word back.

I have some semi-revealing how I’ll kick back today tweets here and some other cool tweets starting from when I stopped blogging yesterday:


Click on the quoted tweet to see the pictures I posted not long before that, referred to in this tweet.


Sad but true but my mother is still my most irresistible Catje. I’m confused.


Factssssss


Oh pleaseeeee 😻 . Respect for everything I’m certainly not here to disrupt anything literally here just typing asking if saying [please don’t be shocked] DILF is normal? The same goes for Victishe and so on. ๐Ÿ™‚ Plus this ferocious “This is against the rules!” is soo Cuddle meoow be my Graeyniss pleaseeeยฟ 😻


They have been fucked up since Amsterdam in December but still I’m personally too broke for new earplugs. I’m too broke for anything but bills and occasional groceries my meow please help.

Please, give me Life.
โ€œHi, Iโ€™ve created a payment request for Life. You can adjust the amount and pay with any bank in the Netherlands. Thank you!
https://www.ing.nl/particulier/betaalverzoek/index.html?trxid=KSm7epNHIR3J9WNfaNJvRKsWp2SU6VmAโ€œ
And keep LilFangs.com ad-free because ads are ugly as fuck.


That’s not necessarily part of the relaxation unless – big spoiler alert HAHA – you wanna spark some AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂 . And I’m not talking about fireworks because like you – and your pet – I hate fireworks tooooooo. ๐Ÿ˜€


Excitement yaysss


My only effort on this day of relaxation. Oh and another thing is that I reallyyy can’t cycle without music if there’s the sound of cars and shit conversation around me which is very often here in this area, so that will be headache meows but for the sake of minimizing that I’ll shut off noise cancellation on these half broken earplugs.


Ohne Frambois ik praat Catois noem me Benoรฎt. Ahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. 😏 #TheFangs


Haha I have. Again here I am giving Camillus unannounced credit. This week I’ve received two Whatsapp marriage proposals to gain Dutch citizenship. (Haha I wonder what Thierryay would say about this.) Both people who asked me to marry them are Nigerian. Camillus is also Nigerian. This is evidence that your country of origin doesn’t say anything about your nature. Yay (for colored people in my eyes but that’s because I’m colored (and only colored “as far as I know”) haha).

I’ll be making videos of me experimenting with this experiment and seeing if I’ll find some relaxation with my unsatisfied mind. My next updates will be videos because I’m tired of typing. My first video will be made after I’ve showered et cetera. Please stay tuned. 😹 ♥

Updated 11:34 (AM)ย [Timezone Amsterdam CEST UTC/GMT + 2]

~~~

Later meer ben nu in de stad. Dit film ik ook. Ook dat ik niet eens 20 euro kan pinnen man want ik ben KANKER BROKE MAN WAAROM NEGEERT IEDEREEN DAT. Mijn inkomen is โ‚ฌ0,niets is zeker. (lees: “nul komma niets…”)

Inmiddels weer onderweg naar huis. Het geheugen van mijn telefoon is vol zegt het dus ik kan niets meer filmen at the moment. Heb intussen buiten nog wel aardig wat minuten erbij gefilmd maar ik wil ook een beetje zuinig aan doen met mijn 4G.

Updated 17:24 (05:24 PM)ย [Timezone Amsterdam CEST UTC/GMT + 2]

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Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

My Head 😩 [Friday, July 12, 2019]

Good afternoon โ™ฅ
Today’s weather makes me want to cuddle up in bed just like my headache does. Though my headache gets worse when I move, it’s thunderstorms and rain (and hail tooยฟ) coming and going since last night. And from the short time between the lightning flash and the sound of the thunder, it has been very close by. Less than 1 km from here.

I hope you’ve seen my drafting of yesterday evening. ๐Ÿ™‚ And that the refund of my grandmother’s investment in the Aegon Sprintplan is not at all guaranteed yet. My mother showed me the letter the collective that goes about it had sent. (And first investing in something and then when you lose everything saying that it has been a fake promise and ask for all of your money back…? People investing in fake promises still happens daily. They don’t get a refund either. It already sounded very controversial when I sent the letter she wanted me to write on her behalf.

Fangyism

Another reason why it’s much better to replace the current financial system with the Fangyist financial system! You’ll never lose any money because there only D.O.C.I.S. International invests. There’s no investing for individuals there at all! ๐Ÿ˜€ *throws confetti* You can financially gain by doing something that’s good according to Fangyist Law. ๐Ÿ™‚

Bed Petting Festival + A Fangy Stubborn Flashback

It’s the first day of the North Sea Jazz festival today. As usual my family will be attending. Except me this time. Though I’m not going to the edition in Rotterdam, I might go to the one in Curaรงao because it was included in my mother’s bribery for me to not have my sister be the only young person there. Both my plane tickets and festival tickets are paid for.

Ticket sales for the festival in Rotterdam started months ago. This was around the time where I tried to forever vanish from this country after a fight, starting in my journey in Wiesbaden and heading to Berlin for my birthday (November 1st my god my heart still hurts from this aawful treatment), but I ran out of money again. I empathically couldn’t block their phone numbers, so my mother who had been asking me to come home for quite some time then made an offer to get me a rental car to drive home. Back home, my father complained about how my vanishing has brought them unnecessary costs.

What the fuck. If he would have stopped insulting me for no reason, we wouldn’t have gotten into a fight and I wouldn’t have gone abroad to vanish and escape him. For we’re still house mates. If he wouldn’t insult me for no reason, I wouldn’t even have this anti-social blog. I actually like social interaction, but here it doesn’t show, because of my selectiveness and lack of opportunity.

From then I didn’t want them to pay for any of my things at all anymore. I’ll climb up the social ladder financially (haha get it ughhh), and I will do that all on my own (starting in Antwerp thus…). So when he offered to buy me a three-day ticket to the North Sea Jazz Festival, I said “No thank you.”

Another reason why I’d rather not attend is because I’d rather stand in front of a crowd or in a secluded section of a crowd than in the middle of it. (My father can choose but he prefers cheaper.) I’m sick and tired of people asking my attention for their boring stories and asking my number and my intimacy without asking me if I even have the slightest interest in that.

And it’s the most awful thing where people can easily walk past me in a crowd, but they still decide to touch, hurt or even grab me. It’s fucking disgusting. Especially now that my blog has grown so much, I don’t want to be a familiar face who still is no one for standing in that big crowd like just another number.

Plus hearing the conversations that go on in that crowd disgust me. Most people don’t understand shit about music, yet still they have an opinion about it. If I’d turn my knowledge about music into a project I’d really be proud of, I wouldn’t have any tolerance for the judgment of someone who doesn’t understand it, but still gets his/her arrogance from “I pay for your music.”

I would have loved to see Josรฉ James and The Internet today, and discover new music or learn the name and face to more popular music by other artists. But I only want to attend any music event if I either can afford the ticket myself and be in a secluded area, or because I’ve organized the event myself and I’ll be performing there somewhere in between other performances.

Today

I have no idea what my day will be like. Aside from being home all day and my dinner being paid for (something I couldn’t accept in the beginning). I’ll be drafting some with pen and paper and drink a lot of water. Mweh another day or non-challenging boredom.

For real challenging, I need someone else. But someone else who’s at least just as intelligent as I am. And someone who dares to give me some real responsibility. Fuck what people will say about me not being educated enough for whatever. Nonsense.

Oh last night during the thunderstorm, after seeing this tweet

I thought of the following statement: “A gifted person never genuinely enjoys spending time with someone who is not gifted.”

What do you think of this? I think it’s very true.

I feel that the ungifted even know this fact. [If you knew how far too often I’ve heard “You think I’m dumb, don’t you?” “You think I’m untalented, don’t you?” and only replied with “Oh noo you’re very smart and talented,” because I don’t like being hurtful (without anyone backing me up) oh my goddd. 😩 It would be such a relief to say “YES! YES! YES!” but then why would I ever spend time with that person again get it. It’s irrefutable relationship damage answering “Yes,” to a question like that.] So they claim us and make sure we’ll never meet because they know we’ll enjoy spending time with each other so much that we’ll never see them again.

I grind my teeth spending time with someone who doesn’t reason on my level. This must be one of the reasons why I feel so much stress from tactically staying polite all the time. Another Tantalus torment.

But my Book Club will be amazing. 😻

Meoww “breakfast” time.

How do you find my method for making my diary more real-time?

Updated 14:23 (02:23 PM)ย [Timezone Amsterdam CEST UTC/GMT + 2]

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I absolutely love that my push notifications are working now! 😻

Catje 😻

It feels very comforting to know that my updates go straight to your screen now. ๐Ÿ˜€ Even when I update a post that has already been uploaded, you’ll know! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve been checking out PM Rutte his press conference earlier. (Thought of making that a notification as well but it was on too short notice my meoww I was still making my first meal of the day.)

Summarization of tweets:


I watched the conference in couch cat mode. &#x!F60F; 😸


I don’t really have public meows. Behind the scenes there are annoying people accessing me. I kind of worry about moving to Antwerp all by myself when it comes to that.


He was asked something about measures against drug use on the many festivals in this country and if he will be attending any festivals in this country this Summer. I won’t, by the way. Not one.


Something about Turkey buying Russian weapons or the other way around or something, because the country wanted to buy Western (I’m referring to euphemized democracies when I say “Western”) weapons but was prohibited from doing that and when when it purchased non-Western weapons Western countries started to say shit but then they just shouldn’t have been prohibiting the purchase in the beginning. Helaas pindakaas.


He curved those journalists very well. I can better relate to the philosophy of the right, but still think he’s doing well in his philosophy of making changes. Honestly I don’t see most people in power having any other better successor but I and I will elaborate on this in a few.


The entire conference was basically him being asked the prospects of things that still need to be discussed before there’s anything to announce. And then he gets the reply: “So you have nothing to say about this?” to basically every answer. And then in the comment section everyone calls him a liar. And that has been happening at least all year round…


He said something about that there has been good progress made this year, but that some want even more change and some prefer less, so that the change was mild. I strive towards a legal revolution my meowww.


An awful truth. Powerless Fangs. ๐Ÿ™ [Not that literally all regular citizens should get more power ahaha nahhh they’re influenced far too easily.]


He was asked something about the presidential system and he said that he dreams of a system like that in the Netherlands. Ahahaha imagine him with a dreamy comic cloud next to him in which he’s thinking of him being the president in a presidential system ahahahahaha it’s a cool sight. We should make a video sketch of that ahahah. (I have soo many ideas for things like that my meoww. With many educative messages.)


What do you think of The Fangs being a Fangs with absolute power?


Meoww press conferences are one of the few challenging types of content that are entertaining to me. For me they don’t happen often enough. 😸 But the Summer still has a lot to offer. Especially because all formalities are having their holidays. ๐Ÿ˜€ Free terrain for me yaysss.


My head is still achy. Especially after a typing session like this one. So again I’m going to take a little break from typing and screen gazing now. Also I’m home alone and my sushi just got delivered so some dinner yays I’ll share with you later. Before I go, there is one more image I want to share with you. Last night I decided to sleep in my parents’ bed because they were sleeping on the couch, watching Stranger Things with good audio. I’ve noticed it before, but was now gazing at this book in my mother’s book case, thinking of “If I wouldn’t have silenced them, all of this wouldn’t have happened and this book wouldn’t have been bought.”

It really sucks to be “the gifted schizophrenic child”

Beause I’m not a fucking schizophrenic oh my goddd. 😩 And if everything in that book were really true and results from statistical sampling can be considered facts then everyone might as well be a schizophrenic. Such nonsense.

I’ll be eating these dinner yays meoww but know that erwtensoep, Kartoffelsuppe, grietbana bravoe or any other type of gaining strength soup is very welcome. ๐Ÿ™‚

Updated 20:27 (08:27 PM)ย [Timezone Amsterdam CEST UTC/GMT + 2]

~~~

My dinner yays. Not an ad but just yay because I feel overheated from lack of oxygen and now I have this fan thingy with which I can create an oxygen illusion, calming down my brain a bit.

I’m eating soy beans now, as I’m writing this:

another mirror pic

A pre-dinner Fangs spotted. Took this right after my previous update.

In the background of the picture you can see where I’ve installed myself. My laptop is on my mother’s side of the bed. And the room where the daylight comes from, is my bedroom. That’s how close I sleep to my parents. I really appreciate that they have been doing their midnight binge-watching followed by falling asleep with the TV on downstairs lately, because any sound or light can be an annoying stimulus to me, keeping me awake at night.

I genuinely think that my parents would do better with the general public than I would, because they, in contrast to me – especially my father – love(s) watching Netflix and other popular things. (One of the reasons – another Tantalus torment moment – my friends were very jealous of me having the parents that I have and expressed that very frequently. I don’t want people to be jealous of me man please.)

~Transition sentence.~ (Hahahahaha 😹 )

The Last Summer

Have you heard the new Summer jam that was released today?

I’m under the impression that I’m not the only one who sees the patterns in everything that has been happening in the eras this world has known. It has been the cause of the routine we live. Currently, it says: “Relax. Don’t bother yourself with all of that work. Take some time off. “Have some fun.” You deserve it.” Summer is here so the world “spins” differently. Like the Winter (but moreยฟ), it’s a period of very high consumption and pollution.

Some people can enjoy the Summer season and some people can’t. Some people can’t take a minute all-year-round because of their occupation. Some people have a busier work schedule than usual during that season. (Think of artists performing at Summer festivals, people working in tourism, people working in travel insurance (Victishe 😻 ) and so on.)

I vote for a more fair enjoyment of time for all. In a realistic sense, what do you really want to be doing?

I want to see a shift. In this society, maintaining a bad relationship is considered more normal than exploring and finding yourself. We should cause an international Volta: only surround yourself with the people you will never fight with. We make pairs that will probably be based on vision, intelligence and characteristic nature. We should redivide and redistribute the land in the world over these pairs and will live peacefully in that way. This is something that has to be pushed trough now that the current Graeynissis are still the ruling Graeynissis.

Because my and younger generations know even less about real life than the current people averagely aged 30-50 do now. People only know ghost stories about business and political diplomacy. We should make this shift (way) before you have to give your power to someone else, because they really won’t know what to do but fill their pockets. People don’t learn to have vision in school.

Do you not like the words of your own leader? Go be leaders with your friends somewhere on a piece of land that is not under the authority of your leader. Do you not like this Summer hit? Cool. Planet Fang’s music is an export product you most certainly do not have to buy. Make your own music. (And I would really love to make a Summer jam that doesn’t make me sad.) There will be completely new partnerships. ๐Ÿ˜€

Please I really don’t want to see another commercialized Summer routine where people act like peacocks showing themselves from their best sides just for admiration. Be the real valuable you. Let’s make a change, please, and let this be the last “Summer” in the commercialized way we know it now.

I would love to be more elaborate on this but I still feel terrible. (But less terrible than when this day started so yay.) And I’ve been multitasking.


He used this word referring to America before he became president.


Planet Fang ๐Ÿ˜€

I’m off to spending time in the darkness now. In a noiseless house because my parents are still enjoying the festival. I’ve seen some videos of it already. ๐Ÿ™‚

Good night ♥

Updated 23:57 (11:57 PM)ย [Timezone Amsterdam CEST UTC/GMT + 2]

xxx

The featured image is made by Juan Pablo Arenas.

Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Sick Catje 😔 [Thursday, July 11, 2019]

10:53 (AM)ย 

Good morning โ™ฅ

I hope you’re feeling better than I do. Physically, I feel worse than yesterday. My pains are more serious. Mentally, I have a lot more on my mind than yesterday.

The topics alternately occupying my mind are:

  • Will people become part of my book club? I really hope so because I have such cool ideas for it and it would be the perfect side job! And I need to exceed the costs of having the store because otherwise it will be a headache instead of an asset. I hope I’ll be in good health in time, because I’ve set the deadline of it in 9 days.
  • Will the share my grandmother will give me be enough to have some financial breathing space? Once I get my study financing, my budget for rent will be about โ‚ฌ450 for a studio apartment [ ๐Ÿ™ ]. If my grandmother gives me an amount that leaves me enough to pay for my course books after I’ve paid all of my bills and debts, I – aside from living in a busy area where I don’t know anyone – won’t have anything to worry about. I wonder when she’ll receive it… To save costs, it’s much better for me to start renting from September 1st (when my parents are on a holiday together and my sister’s school resumes and then I’ll be movingยฟ x_x ) instead of October 1st.
  • I really hope that I can make the concept of my book club attractive enough for the intelligent (and experienced) Graeynissis I’ll need in the future. Plus I hope they’ll donate to me and give me even more breathing space…
  • Honestly I still really hope to receive a Fangs-specialized study program where I’m encouraged to write papers about multiple fields of science in which any Graeyniss is dealing with an issue my vision could be an asset to. Getting my bachelor’s at age 26 is so old that I hope I can speed up the process by being allowed to do this… I’ve used my former years to set out this concept for a revolution and hope it will come in handy. Especially for “alpha sciences”. For “beta sciences” I really need teaching but for alpha’s honestly I really don’t. (It’s just being able to reproduce the things that are considerd facts, discovered by big names (from the West)…) The book club could be a great asset to this. Meowww I don’t want to reveal too much about the concept yet though…

Meow it’s fluid breakfast timeee. I’ll see you later because by means of being productive I’ll draft the texts for the store and FangCatje here. โ™ฅ

~~~

16:21 (04:21 PM)ย 

My meowsss โ™ฅ

I feel the continuous sound of my fan, the crampedness of my bedroom and general Dutch air quality fuel the headache of my fever. I’ve always found it annoying, but because my brain is in more pain than usual now, everything is more disturbing than usual now.

Everything except my curiosity for this:

I need any type of shift in the overrated social media hype myself. I’ll be on it. 😸 (&Nooo indeeed no one should ever call any president “meow”. No one but me. 😸 )

Request for “Life” 😂

Ahaha in my “things I do when I grab my phone” routine of checking my web stats and checking the balance of my main bank account, I randomly decided to click on the “request” button, next to the by young me awfully frequently clicked “transfer” button.

I randomly typed in the maximum amount of โ‚ฌ1000. The follow up question was: “What is the โ‚ฌ1000 for?” And I typed “Life”. 😂

Now I have a random payment request you can adjust and transfer if you’re at a Dutch bank.

Please, give me Life.
“Hi, Iโ€™ve created a payment request for Life. You can adjust the amount and pay with any bank in the Netherlands. Thank you!
https://www.ing.nl/particulier/betaalverzoek/index.html?trxid=KSm7epNHIR3J9WNfaNJvRKsWp2SU6VmA

I’m certain that if enough people engage in this, I’ll never feel sick again. 😸 (Or at least I could have a say in how I’ll be treated, in contrast to what you have to endure if you, like me, have the cheapest health care subscription package. When I get study financing I’ll already “expand” my subscription…)

Haha meow I made the request jokingly, but I honestly hope anyone would give me some Life. I’ll give you something in return for it for sure. ๐Ÿ™‚ And if enough people do it then maybe future Book Club meetings could be in/next to my future house, on the estate called Planet Fang. 😻 A compound in Belgium would be nice, as well as in other countries. ๐Ÿ˜€

My body is acting up again. I’m going to still my hunger and then take a nap. After that I’m just going to start drafting – something that has more impact on my brain because that is really mijn hersenen kraken. I’ll keep pushing the D.O.C.I.S. until it unfolds.

I’ll see you (here) tonight xxx

~~~

19:52 (07:52 PM)ย 

Before I start, I would like to log some interesting Twitter activity here.


It’s part of my revolution yayss. Know that online identities have no meaning. Only real life identities do.


[More untranslated Dutch coming up in my drafting meow for the sake of minimizing pressure on my brain… 😣 ]


I need some fellow Fangyists… My development is stagnating. ๐Ÿ™


The help I need is so yusu (as in seriusu) meow I’m a minority in the minority of minorities in a country where discrimination is an everyday thing I’ve seen far too frequently.


“Against fraud and corruption” would have made sense. But “against the economy” ahahahaha help this is the level of the average Dutch person &#x1F602 . (No joke only about 6% of Dutch people has finished the highest type of secondary education like me. [It’s LWOO -> VMBO-B -> VMBO-K -> VMBO-T -> HAVO -> VWO -> VWO+ -> Gymnasium (which in this case has nothing to do with exercise ughhh)])

For the sake of doing something useful, I’m now going to draft some book and website texts. Reminder-to-self that I need to change the logo of the D.O.C.I.S. Store to something without an image and make a separate logo for the D.O.C.I.S. Book Club. I really love this book club so much already my meoww. I hope you’re willing to pay the contribution I need for your set of books and gifts every quarter, plus renting a book club meeting venue.

I’m starting with FangCatje though, because that had to have been finished (haha trippy tenses) already… I think I’ll publish it under “Dominique Daniรซlle Elia” instead of “Lil Fangs”.

FangCatje Draft

Het leven voelt voor mij van jongs af aan (“al”) als de Tantaluskwelling. Absoluut niet omdat mijn gedrag vergelijkbaar is met wat voor Tantalus de aanleiding voor zijn straf was. Integendeel: mijn hart kan zijn soort immorele daden (zoals zijn zoon aan de goden voeren om te kijken of het wel echte goden zijn) niet verdragen.

Toch ervaar ik een soortgelijk lijden. In zijn straf zijn al zijn behoeften en lusten een kwelling. (De Tantaluskwelling is een Griekse mythe.) Bijvoorbeeld dat hij in een poel met water moest staan, maar dat het water naar beneden golfde wanneer hij eruit probeerde te drinken, waardoor hij leed aan dorst.

Een voorbeeld hiervan, in mijn context, is dat er toen ik 6 was eindelijk een officiรซle verklaring was voor mijn “anders zijn” en waarom ik me zo ontzettend verveelde op school. Namelijk mijn hoogbegaafdheid. Maar in plaats van het enthousiasme (van leraren) dat ik hoopte te zien en de uitdagingen die ik hoopte te krijgen, werd ik nog meer als (nu niet alleen meer zwart maar ook nog eens veeleisend) vuil gezien en behandeld, en uit men zijn/haar jaloezie over mijn officieel bevestigde intelligentie (en ontwikkelende fysieke schoonheid) op de meest hartverscheurende manieren.

Toen ik, bijvoorbeeld, aan mijn juf vroeg of ik een nieuw boekje mocht, omdat ik het boekje met “uitdagende” taal- en rekenopdrachten voor de hele week dezelfde dag al had uitgewerkt, zei ze: “Ga eerst maar alles inkleuren.” Op iedere pagina stond wel een afbeelding. Ik had juist meer cognitieve uitdaging nodig, in plaats van meer kleutervermaak.

“Waarom ik?” is iets wat ik altijd al heb gedacht. (Misschien omdat echt niemand anders het kan doen…? Ik wou (met de nadruk op verleden tijd, nu ik ouder ben en weet hoe de wereld in elkaar zit) dat we allemaal hoogbegaafd zijn.)

Een ander voorbeeld van mijn Tantaluskwelling is het nieuws dat ik letterlijk net kreeg. Het leek even alsof ik het leven niet meer als een kwelling zal ervaren. Gisteren hoorde ik van mijn moeder dat mijn oma bericht had gekregen, dat ze 85% van haar inleg in het Aegon Sprintplan zal terugkrijgen en dat ik, omdat ik haar ongeveer een jaar geleden had geholpen met het maken van die claim, een aandeel daarvan zou krijgen. Al sinds mijn 17de zit ik financieel aan de grond, dus het voelde alsof het licht aan het eind van de tunnel eindelijk in zicht was.

Maar daarnet kwam ze naar me toe om te vertellen dat degene die voor mijn oma de brief had geรฏnterpreteerd, dit verkeerd heeft gedaan. Het was niet eens een brief van Aegon maar een brief van het collectief dat de zaak aanvecht. Dat als je als lid een aanvulling op je gegevens opstuurt, je 85% terug kan krijgen in plaats van 80%. Het is nu nog steeds absoluut niet zeker of ze ooit haar geld terug zal krijgen. Die brief die ik voor haar naar Aegon had gestuurd is al meer dan een jaar oud en er zit nog steeds absoluut geen vaart in de zaak.

Het leek even alsof ik “zorgenloos” op kamers kon gaan (wat ik eigenlijk niet eens wil, want ik heb liever leefruimte), ik kon beginnen met kleine schulden afbetalen en zelfs zou kunnen beginnen met het opbouwen van een spaarpotje. Maar ik ben weer terug bij af.

Mijn online dagboek op LilFangs.com staat verder vol met Tantaluskwellingsmomenten die vaak onverwachts komen en ik in real-time (“rond het tijdstip dat het in het werkelijk leven gebeurt”) deel, hopend dat ik de Volta waarin mijn kwelling voorbij is ook in real-time zal delen.

Toen ik in de nacht van 27 mei op 28 mei in het crisiscentrum werd opgenomen,

The D.O.C.I.S. Store Draft

I’m going to stop drafting for now, my meow. It’s almost past twelve. And the text above here was the greatest spoiler ever because – aside from typos and/or grammar mistakes I might have missed out on but will correct when I re-type it for the definitive version – I’m going to use exactly that text.


During dinner, there was some (biased) documentary about the Middle-East on. I was familiar with his last name and that (by false media caused) association with political turbulence. But in the documentary they referred to him by his first name. After I saw him give a speech next to Tony Blair [also handsome], I asked: “Who is this (Catje)?” 😻 Bashar Al Assad. Then a debate about how colored western media are, how almost every Arabic leader is seen as a tyrant who wishes to destroy everything and everyone because of this, how the differences between [excusez moi I only know it in Dutch-ish and am too tired to translate it now] Sjiieten, Soennieten, Alevieten and other movements within the Islam cause enough local turbulence already for having to explain that to the West on top of all of the other chaos, how I think he really might not have assassinated an influential in Lebanon, America’s reasons for international involvement, et cetera unfolded for a decent while. I was very alone in my view again. But now I’m even more interested in a D.O.C.I.S. Compound – where you can be yourself – in Syria. 😻 I’m seriously interested in having tea with him. ๐Ÿ™‚

Just when I wanted to continue drafting after dinner, my mother told me that my grandmother was misinformed about the refund of her investment in the Aegon Sprintplan. ๐Ÿ™ Now it’s certain that that won’t give me financial breathing space.

Please, give me Life.
“Hi, Iโ€™ve created a payment request for Life. You can adjust the amount and pay with any bank in the Netherlands. Thank you!
https://www.ing.nl/particulier/betaalverzoek/index.html?trxid=KSm7epNHIR3J9WNfaNJvRKsWp2SU6VmA

Good night ♥

xxx

Ex Animo, Images, MacroFangs, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Reflections, Strategy

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid [Essay]

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid

A D.O.C.I.S. Essay

By Lil Fangs

An Author’s Note

This essay was written when I was in a very difficult situation. Again, being put in a powerless situation by someone else’s authority. I hoped that selling what I know about the deep-state, would help me to afford to get away from those circumstances forever. I’m not in that crisis center anymore, so the contextual information at the end of the post does not apply to me anymore. I, however, still need the funds to live independently. The essay was, because of that, put online for โ‚ฌ1177.77, but it had no sales. I find it still important that you get the rest of my message, and that is why I now put this essay online for free.

When I published any other book I’ve published, just like when I was trying to sell this essay, I am trying to earn, so that I can set up a successful business and leave my current life behind me for good. I hope I can count on your support, this time.


โ€œAlways start the documents you sell, off with a quote. It will make you look more (modern) scholarly.โ€

– Lil Fangs

That was a joke 😂 โ€ฆ The rest wonโ€™t beโ€ฆ

This essay is all about the hierarchical pyramid, visible on the next page. Iโ€™m writing this from my own perspective. As a regular citizen, attempting to formulate an independent opinion, hoping Iโ€™ll succeed in nudging the official authorities, so that we can flip the pyramid together, forming a new powerful union.

Oh meow I reallyyy need to share this citation with you again, though. (I used it in my EP, too.) It perfectly suits the content of this essay! The first three paragraphs of Propaganda, by Edward Bernays:

โ€œThe conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country.

We are governed, our minds molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society.

Our invisible governors are, in many cases, unaware of the identity of their fellow members in the inner cabinet.โ€

Introduction

Why Disrupt This?

Slowly but surely, the system is destroying itself. The education system and cultural stories that are told from generation to generation, have taught us to value money. It gives us a status. It is the reason many people leave their homes every day.

If an idea is not an idea that can make you rich, society will not consider it a good idea. In that way, making an unprofitable difference, out of kind-heartedness, and to do what is best for our generation and future generations to come, is unappealing to society.

What is appealing to society, is to maximize profits, regardless of what it does to nature. What is appealing to society, is to destroy the names of talented people, because most people donโ€™t have any talents. What is appealing to society, is to make a small story far bigger than it actually is, because otherwise, people have nothing to talk about.

When nature gives out, because it has been abused by this generation far too much, money will have no value. Many lives will become purposeless. That is not our problem (anymore), because they have had enough time and have received enough information to create a better system.

Those at the top (three layers) of the pyramid, have no clue what they are actually doing. They’re far too busy playing the status game. They think it has actual meaning, while itโ€™s only talk. They donโ€™t think about the future, and the consequences of their actions.

To make sure that they donโ€™t ruin the future of us and generations to come, we should flip the pyramid. Instead of trying to maintain what we have, we should disrupt it even further โ€“ none of us truly enjoys this anyway. Itโ€™s only a faรงade, needed to keep our status. It is better to cause the disruption ourselves, so that we have control over the way the world looks, after it the system is collapsed, instead of giving in to the prospect of our fate being an uncontrollable chaos, caused by idiots.

The disruption starts with your purchase โ€“ thank you 💕 โ€“ and is followed by all of us taking physically visible action, simultaneously. Iโ€™ll first convince you of why the system has to be disrupted, some more, including some sad stories and good prospects, then Iโ€™ll tell you more about my Stratagem, and after that, it’s time for real action ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Core

Looking from the Bottom up

From the bottom of the pyramid, the experience of life is anything except joyful. Formulating an independent opinion is too difficult for many, so we are taught to adapt and dumb down our conversation. We watch the members of the inner cabinet try to uncover who is who, and know that right-wing and left-wing are meaningless concepts in that context.

Some individuals are in multiple positions in the pyramid at the same time, due to the status that comes with their profession. Some, like me, arenโ€™t. There are right-wing politicians, doing independent research, echoing their views over the sounds of journalists who blindly follow trends, attempting to reach the business authorities that are being told what to do, by binge-watching babyboomers and their offspring, for example.

We, at the bottom, hope to see a large Volta, where there will be no more name shaming as โ€œworld newsโ€. We, at the bottom, want to see the type of change in society that will make everyone go back to school again, because life as we know it will fully change.

But the change the bottom two layers want and need to see, will mean that the top three layers of the pyramid will become obsolete. Fully obsoleteโ€ฆ

Schizophrenia

When I say this to those who blindly follow trends, they respond with something in the context of: โ€œNo wonder you are diagnosed with schizophrenia.โ€ The media pre-chew everything there is to discover in life, and tell you how you should feel about that, so how come I have such an odd opinion about everything in life?

โ€œPropagandaโ€ is a bad word, โ€œmulticulturalismโ€, โ€œprofessionalโ€ and โ€œSTGโ€ are good words, according to the trends. How about they become just words again, where โ€œgoodโ€ or โ€œbadโ€ depends on the context they are used in, and the personal view of the listener.

So then, in my view, โ€œIโ€™m going to use propaganda to make everyone my minion,โ€ is bad. But โ€œIโ€™m going to use propaganda to force people to think independently (and unveil their identity),โ€ is good.

Since Iโ€™m, in the meantime, still busy debunking the diagnosis schizophrenia I have received, I have to still point this out, though I assume you know I know this, and I hope you know this: Officially, the official authorities and those backing them, are on top of the pyramid. But because we are taught that the media are the voice of independent reason, the official top of the pyramid is not treated as the top of the pyramid, but as puppets who have to be shaped according to the will of the self-preservative deep-state, profiting of the overrated status game.

The bottom two rows of the pyramid are structurally being prohibited from emancipating, because the top three layers do not want to give up their position in the Silent Pyramid. This is so severe, that from a young age, people are taught to stop hoping for change, and accept life as it is. Then the media confirm that image, by publishing thousands of pessimistic articles per day. And if you go too far in your believes for change, like me, youโ€™ll become a victim of social shock therapy and be forced to take psychiatric drugs until you give up on your dreams. Life canโ€™t go on like this forever! Especially not because of the state of the waterworksโ€ฆ ๐Ÿ™‚ (The state that is fully ignored by those who blindly follow, and which is not getting enough media attention AT ALL!!!)

I have a lot of trouble with that people who blindly follow trends are authorized to label and stigmatize the worlds of people they canโ€™t even understand. In my view, schizophrenia โ€“ as well as MANY other labels – cannot exist, because every perspective on life is unique. Itโ€™s just used to push us down the Pyramid even furtherโ€ฆ That includes people who are convinced by other people that theyโ€™re dumb, while theyโ€™re actually very smart.

Dissolving the Deep-State

As was said in the citation of Bernays: the members of the inner cabinet, do not know the identity of their fellow members. As in that they cannot openly discuss their hidden agendas. But if youโ€™re only in it for the money and other forms of self-preservation, itโ€™s not necessary to discuss your agenda to reveal your identity. (I say โ€œyourโ€ for simplicity. I donโ€™t necessarily mean you, my dear reader.)

In our competitive world, everyone is incentivized to show characteristics of politeness and intelligence, whether theyโ€™re real or fake. Humor, in the meantime, has evolved into โ€œlaughing after barbarianismโ€. To me, todayโ€™s sense of humor is painful and loveless. Real humor requires intelligence. Intelligence most people โ€“ sad but true โ€“ donโ€™t have.

Through someoneโ€™s sense of humor, you can decipher that personโ€™s identity and hidden agenda. The faรงade of politeness and intelligence is meaningless, when jokes are misunderstood due to the lack of understanding. From that, an interview follows, to unveil the nature of a joke [Was it to indirectly insult, or was it to make laugh?], and to unveil the nature of the listener [Does the listener find the joker a good conversationalist, or does he/she find him an annoying nerd?].

Iโ€™m pulling out all the stops in this paragraph [wonder why?] 😏 . I just want to show you that, even though Iโ€™m not really part of it (yet), I know your world very well.

We shouldnโ€™t spend time with those we canโ€™t get along with. The politeness, resembling โ€œprofessionalismโ€, in this competitive world, we should let go of, because I know that there are, like me, many people who stay polite, while they would rather scream so loud that their saliva starts to foam. Itโ€™s not healthy to crop up emotions (of anger)!

I believe that there is a professional deep-state, and a personal deep-state. The professional deep-state has superficial people wanting to look cool in the one corner, and pioneers wanting to make a change, in the other. The experience of the personal deep-state depends on individual identity, but I would categorize it in this way (mind you that my personal bias will echo through this): there are those who live to spread love, of whom some people in their lives live to do the same, but most people live to take advantage of them, because those people, taking advantage, live, but are barely conscious. They have no talent and donโ€™t want to think about life, because their minds are not capable of understanding it, so let alone improving it. Due to the competitiveness in our society and everyone wanting to be a star, theyโ€™ll act as if they live to spread love, but in reality, all they do is just survive (by taking advantage of others).

Iโ€™m talking to the bottom two layers of the Silent Pyramid, who truly live to spread love (and receive all of mine 😻 ).

An Independent Alliance

A real โ€œRevenge of the Nerdsโ€, will set the record straight. We have adapted ourselves to less intelligent people for long enough. How about we all let โ€œprofessionalismโ€ go, simultaneously, and just be ourselves. (Youโ€™ll breathe more freely than ever before!)

We, the bottom layers of the Pyramid, donโ€™t need large groups of people to do what we want to do in life. It is what makes us strong as individuals, but itโ€™s what makes us weak against the competitive top three layers in the Silent Pyramid, who are more focused on forming self-preservative alliances, than self-development.

We, โ€œnerdsโ€, should seclude ourselves from those we wouldnโ€™t truly voluntarily spend time with anyway. If we all do it together, at the same time, the top three layers will be powerless. We can outsmart them with so much ease!

That is why I plead for the independent alliance of the bottom two layers of the Silent Pyramid, through D.O.C.I.S. International, funded to unite us and revolutionize society. Who do you want to be, when, due to the collapse of the waterworks, the entire system collapses? You can start your life all over again and re-log who you are, for the history books of our future generations. Please let me know, by sending an email to d.elia@docis.international.

End

Call-to-Action

The international deep-state should be uncovered, the media should be taken less seriously, those who blindly follow trends have no purpose in our revolution, official authorities should become actual authorities and those who work hard to formulate an independent opinion, will become the worldโ€™s new generation of pioneers.

I hope to have given you information that is understandable, and the incentive to do something you easily can and want to do. All you need to do, is, the next time I ask you to publicly support me, say that you are part of the D.O.C.I.S. International Council, and poke your chest and bum out, showing the world the strong and independent individual that you are. Iโ€™ll divide positions and tasks on the fly. (They say donโ€™t put new information in the conclusion of your textsโ€ฆ Iโ€™m still doing it. #YOLO.)

A Digression

War in the Western world, would make me happy. To get the chance to rebuild the overpromoted, decaying metropolitans, which are like old, squeaking amusement park attractions, facilitating the same routine over and over and over and over again. I canโ€™t even pretend to like it anymore. I canโ€™t pretend to value it, either. It would also end that awful โ€œThe West is the Bestโ€-sentiment (democrats often use).

The top three layers will point a moralistic finger at me, for the first sentence of this digression, but that is only because the war will be against them, and they will be so very powerless.

Ik hoop dat je je door mijn schrijven een stuk minder alleen voelt. Ik hoop dat ik je leven leuker maak, vanaf de afstand van waar ik je bereik.

Je voelt je zeker alleen omdat je voor de meeste mensen te intelligent bent. Maak je niet (meer) druk, want je persoonlijkheid zal binnenkort de allernormaalste zijn. Andersdenkenden belachelijk maken, zal binnenkort belachelijk worden. Ook zal het normaler worden om culturele gebruiken te laten varen.

Of ik helemaal klaar ben met Project Nosce Te Ipsum? Nee, ik wacht tot men me antwoorden opstuurt. Ik moet weten hoeveel mensen A of B stemmen op de laatste vraag in The Hypothesis, omdat ik op basis daarvan, had ik gezegd, het vervolg van het verhaal zal bepalen. Het is ook onderdeel van de informatie die ik nodig heb voor het publieke opinie onderzoek dat ik doe, om te bepalen wat de beste regeermethode is, voor wanneer de waterwerken er niet meer zijn.

Het wordt een spannende tijd. Maar hoe dan ook een leuke tijd, omdat we samen zullen zijn.

I love you 💕

– Xxx โ€“ The Fangs

Die dit allemaal in een avondje op haar telefoon typte, in de crisisopvang, hopend dat ze met de opbrengst hiervan een beter alternatief heeft dan de daklozenopvang, omdat ik vandaag weg moet uit de crisisopvang. Hartelijk dank voor je aankoop 💕 .

Hoe vind je mijn verkooppiramide concept, voor de verkoop van mijn essay over de Stille Pyramide? 😏

ยฉ Lil Fangs (Dominique Daniรซlle Elia) โ€“ The contents of this document may be re-sold for a lower price, but only when part of the profits are shared with the author. When reproducing the content, always mention the author.

Blog, Explicit Content, Images, Online Diary, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

Dilemmas… 🤔 [Saturday, June 15, 2019]

14:42 (02:42 PM)ย 

Good afternoon โ™ฅ

A Question of Empathy

I hope you had a good morning ๐Ÿ™‚ . If all you want to do in life is run a successful business, and you’re not receiving any support from those you thought would support you: how would you go about this?

The Crux of Working Alone and Externalities

I keep a strict schedule of tasks, but living under the authority of my parents often brings me in situations where I am kept from putting effort into growing my business. Numbering thematic days in my blog posts, motivates me to keep writing about and working on that topic I’m numbering (such as “Cold Case”, needed to clear my name, and “Crisis Center Day”, showing you the living circumstances there (and getting out of that)). But unfortunately, without any public support, I can’t clear my name and can’t get rid of the “schizophrenic” stigma.

My strategies are written in such a way that I don’t need to depend on others to execute it, unless I need a person with a certain authority, only when that is unavoidable. They would work out better if I were separated from those who negatively influence my path.

To do that, I need money and to get that: I need revenue. (I’ll never work for a boss again, I’m telling you ๐Ÿ™‚ . I need more money than that, for this success… How else can I build my own compounds? (My alternative is suicide. I have no tolerance for scripted and/or shallow conversations.)). But keeping in touch with my target audience, as you must have noticed, is not easy. Especially without the endorsement of the public (amplified due to the curse my circle has cursed me with, by internationally spreading a lie about me). This is the most severe experience of loneliness ever.

What the Success I Work towards looks like

So I need to keep going with setting up my little web-empire, so that I can later build an empire in real life. But in the meantime, those who do not read complain about the complexity of my concept. I try to be as clear as possible: it’s not easy, but it most certainly is a fruitful concept.

My success, in reality, is not based on scale. On the contrary! I would rather earn from one person for whom I can set in all of my goods and services, than earn from people who buy because they’re responding to a created hype. The one audience wants to spend more than the other, and I value a good personal relationship.

And by “personal relationship”, I mean that once I have a non-online, classic but alternative looking bookstore, I can invite my intimate group of main clients over for tea, for example. From there we can talk about how we can easily overpower the system, by working together. (Like when certain types of religion weren’t allowed and they had to meet secretly.)

Using big social networks paired with that directly, will take away our strength of mutual judgment, so I’m very glad to have said goodbye to my accounts on Facebook and Instagram. Though I’m still not at peace with the way they have treated me.

I hope that once I have finished all of my websites, you, who know where to find me, will enjoy the selection of books I recommend you, and will become a guest writer for The Fangs. “The Fangs” is like “The Times”, is my aim.

And from the revenue and fruitful partnerships that result from this extended digital success, I can constitute my own country: Planet Fang.

Please Consider This

Anyone willing to invest in this concept for a real-life intimate bookstore (and art gallery) with a stage and a kitchen, where I run the entire place myself? If it were in a secluded area, on private land I desire to purchase, it can be more for a neo-elite-ish audience, which is my target audience.

Excuse me for not having my renewed websites finished yet, but I was hoping you’ll reach out to me before I do… I’ve been at this for more than a year now ๐Ÿ™ .

Why This Hurts so Much

My road to success would have been less long and dreadful, if I had a father who is willing to invest in me. Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to know that the money is there, but that he would rather spend it on himself or someone else? (Or Bitcoins…)

I now need to do everything myself, which doesn’t allow me to save any money for my future. I do things that are so time consuming, while if I outsource them, I would have time to focus on more important things.

And then there are the people who defend my father’s choice to let me bleed, saying that my business concept is not good. I have never explained what the exact Golden Egg is, so how can they know?

When we’re finally tackling overpopulation, I wouldn’t mind if they die for hurting me. The same goes for those who think that all a female’s business can do is have sex for money? I’d like to kill all of them myself.

Me wanting to kill certain individuals – justified by overpopulation and non-fruitful, fraudulent personalities – is sparked by the fact that they always hurt me and if they’re dead, I’m certain that they won’t hurt me anymore and won’t come anywhere near me after I’ve distanced myself from them.

Currently…

I woke up around 8 AM, because technicians for the solar panels that will be placed in a few weeks, came to check the structure of the electricity circuits in the house.

I was very hungry, but didn’t know what would satisfy my taste buds. I answered some ASKfm questions, but when I felt that they were becoming a bit too much, I put away my phone. I laid in bed, thinking about how to get rid of my loneliness and still about what to eat as well. But then drifted off to sleep again.

After waking up again, I felt a strong need to be productive. But then I thought of all of my previous attempts to get online revenue, which were also not responded to.

I’m giving myself an supernaturally long list of tasks, to better my services towards you, but what if it’s ignored again? Then I’d put my tachycardia on the line for nothing, again.

I still can’t be certain if this will be ignored again or get me the desired results. But I can only know it by trying it. It kind of sucks to spend months of blood, sweat and tears, not knowing if what I’m doing is worth it. I hope you’ll read this and take that into consideration.

To make my diary a bit more overseeable, I’ll be using more titles. That’s part one of being productive…

It’s now 16:11 (04:11 PM) and I still haven’t eaten anything yet. I’ll be making myself a salad now, hoping that I don’t faint from hunger (used to have that often, as a child).

After that, I’m going to work on the texts for my websites.

When I’m done with all of the web things I need to do – that won’t be today – I’ll use Twitter for marketing. I hope people will like my selection of books.

~~~

17:20 (05:20 PM)ย 

Dates ๐Ÿ™

Mid-eating this improv salad…

I have the house to myself, because my sister is at her boyfriend’s (far more often than she is at home, which concerns me because it doesn’t affect my parents) and my parents are at a barbecue.

I ate these dates before my salad:

No dates, but dates… x_x

I hate being single, my meow. But currently there’s only one person I see myself be with and be successful. Someone who isn’t easy to reach, unfortunately. Dating someone available of my age would hold me back, I know from experience and because they don’t aim as high as I do in life.

Fatigue & Other Health Struggles

I don’t know what I’ll make myself for dinner, yet. I think I’ll just grill some tuna and eat the rest of the salad I have here.

My brain still needs rest, my meow, but I want to see my websites finished ๐Ÿ™ . What to do… 😔 I can never give myself a genuine off day, because I can’t stop thinking of all of the work that has to be done ๐Ÿ™ . It just has to be finished x_x.

I need to see my doctor in Germany, but I need more money for that.

As you have seen plenty of times now, my phycisian here in my neighborhood does anything but help me. All she does is try to get my body fucked up with antipsychotics I’m intolerant of and try to get me declared incompetent. She tells my sister to take her antibiotics with fucking yoghurt. I don’t want to go anywhere near her, but the Dutch health care system forces the exact opposite.

I still have HPV and my heart beat causes chest pains far more frequently, lately. It’s getting time for a check-up of the state of my aortic insufficiency and tachycardia, too. Plus I think I should let a full body MRI be made, because something reallyyy doesn’t feel right ๐Ÿ™ . (Especially when walking around with HPV for too long.)

Also, I’d like the fluid that causes the bags underneath and above my eyes to be taken away. And get my body waxed entirely. (And transfer my belly fat to my buns… :D) I’d feel a lot better in my own skin, then. And if I’d have new and better clothing 😿 .

And this is also not good for my health:

My heart x_x. It feels like starting back from scratch….

Love Cravings

Plus I still want Cishes from Victishe – especially after all that happened – but I don’t know how else to attempt again than by having my websites finished and starting about one of my case studies – about alternative governance – that is finished when I have a leader’s perspective. But I fear rejection 😿 .

Working to earn a large passive income is very exhausting ๐Ÿ™ .

~~~

19:03 (07:03 PM)ย 

Thun marinated in sweet ketjap, soy sauce, sesame oil and honey. Und Salattt.

Reassurance

I want you, who appreciates this, to feel comfortable around me. I have been justifying murder, but want you to know that you won’t become part of that list, if you don’t hurt me. And if you have, please just either blame someone else or apologize, using good arguments no matter what. I think that’s what we both need.

I reflect on my faults every day and share that here. I find that enough. If you find it correct that you have hurt me, then it’s a given that me wanting you dead will never change. Plus, we need to tackle overpopulation somehow anyway.

Lol that were my solo dinner number 1057’s thoughts. Hoping that one day I’ll start having dinner with someone powerful and sexy every day 🤔 .

If you’re not certain if you’re powerful and sexy: if you’re powerful, I’ll find you sexy for sure. And if you’re not certain, then that’s cute ๐Ÿ™‚ . Unless you say “I can’t…”, “I don’t…”, “I’m not…” too often. Please don’t do that when deep down you know that that’s not the case ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I wonder why attractive people stay away from me ๐Ÿ™ . Who do you expect me to date…? Please don’t say someone from the exact same origin 😿 .

My Type

From when I was taught about living to grow old and start a family, I’ve been imagining myself with a Dutch man of at least 7 feet tall. One who is extremely muscular and intelligent, who has bright light eyes and dark hair.

“Dutch” because I want to know the experience of life in a white Dutch family. In school I often blended in with the foreign kids, and had some Dutch friends as well, but I wasn’t allowed to stay outside as late and go anywhere, the way they were/are allowed to. And the combination of our heritages will make us veryyy powerful, globally ๐Ÿ™‚ .

At least 7 feet, because I’m living with a love deficit and experiencing love from someone tall is unique. I don’t come across men that tall often. I would love to experience how it feels to cuddle someone at whose chest height I am, the way short girls experience that. Plus when it comes to sports, I like a challenge ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I am, by the way, attracted to women as well. Just because this is a men’s world, still, when it comes to power, I prefer something more traditional.

Muscular and intelligent, because it’s irresistible and “mutual intelligence” will keep our conversation diverse and exciting (if I’m able to calm my attraction nerves ๐Ÿ˜€ ).

And bright light eyes and dark hair, because I find the contrast so beautiful. I want a brighter eye color, too, my meow ๐Ÿ™ . Plus mixed children with bright eyes are sooo 😻 . But in actuality, I feel attracted to some people who don’t look like that, too.

Am I your typeยฟ I find it very hard to see if someone’s into me or not, when I’m speaking to anyone.

Thinking Funds

It would be cool to be a publisher with a literary cafe, right? ๐Ÿ™‚ All I need is some people who already have a name, to invest in it and publicly endorse it.

Due to overpopulation, it would do better in a secluded area, where visiting the cafe would then become a special day trip. Plus I like to work outside busy cities and prefer calmth in a public space. Members only entrance?

I could then organize events in my own event space ๐Ÿ™‚ . I would much rather have it be part of my own compound, though, for the concepts for alternative food distribution I have. It would be cool if big companies that are around for years already, would collab with me ๐Ÿ™‚ .

This is not a concept for traditional crowd funding…

I’m exhausted, so I’m going to fold out the electronic leg rest of the couch in the semi-anex-ish space in this house, and reason some. Writing and typing I should do less, because my brain feels as if it can give out any second meoww ciao xxx

~~~

23:03 (11:03 PM)ย 

Bath Cat

Spending the rest of my day reasoning, without a phone or anything else requiring cognitive energy, was sooo nice. Though I haven’t been productive for my websites, and money troubles were consuming me a bit, it was very comfortable.

To amplify the comfort, I’m taking a bath now. It has been sooo long since I’ve soaked in this little bath…

Fangs in bath

From bed cat, to bath cat, my meoww 😽

And I hadn’t showered all day, so it feels very right to do this ahaha…

But the mental calmth is only sealed when I put away my phone…

Tomorrow, I’m planning on being genuinely productive with these websites. But only at the start of the day. I just want to have the texts I want to be on it, written in advance. Then it’s a matter of copy-pasting, when I’m done configuring the designs. So tomorrow, at the start of the day, I’ll be writing.

I’ve always been this “last minute student” and that shows in how I run this mini web empire haha… Wish I had some people working for me, who will enjoy how chill I am when it comes to salary (partially upfront) and the influence I allow you to have. Hehe ๐Ÿ˜€ .

Later tomorrow, I’m going to attend a food tasting event in a castle: Slot Zeist. I love food and events, so I’m so looking forward to it ๐Ÿ™‚ . I’m intending to socialize and meet some new people. Hopefully hand out some business cards… Even though my websites aren’t finished x_x . I hope to see you there ๐Ÿ™‚ . It starts at 12 and ends at 7. We’ll probably be there around 4 or so…

There’s a party next door, so I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep any time soon. (I’ve been playing loud music often enough, though, so it’s definitely not a big deal.) But after having soaked a little more – though this bath its plug is old so it goes empty out itself over time – I’m going to attempt to sleep.

Good night and hope to see you tomorrow introducing yourself saying you’re my fellow Fangyist (I hope that will happen, but I’m convincing myself that it won’t, so that I won’t be disappointed haha)…

Sweet dreams ♥

xxx

Blog, Images, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Strategy, Videos

Reform Development Day 1 [Friday, June 14, 2019]

01:30 (AM)

Heyy โ™ฅ

I’m Vampin’, my meowww. Too excited to go to sleep. Once I get going, I don’t want to quit until it’s done. For the sake of keeping that up, today is Reform Development Day 1.

The video I recorded earlier is being converted to MPEG4, so that I can upload it to YouTube. And – this was a big step – I finished my contact page ๐Ÿ™‚ . I hope the world will treat my contact information fairly…

I really hope you’ll reach out to me ๐Ÿ™‚ .

The video conversion progress is now finished for 75%. It is now 02:02 (AM). In the meantime, I’ve answered some ASKfm questions.

As part of Reform Development Day – lol actually spontaneous coincidence because I was getting bored with those stupid “funny videos” and other nonsense anyway – I will delete my Facebook and Instagram account today, at 6 PM (UTC +01:00). I don’t know who has been reporting my blog on there, but I wonder why that hasn’t happened from the very beginning I created those accounts, then. Debatable death threats were on there and here from the very beginning. All text I tried to share on those networks, became blocked after I shared that voice recording (in which -> I <- was mistreated) again on Crisis Center Day 6. What I find the most scandalous about this incorrect treatment, is that they don’t even tell me why they are blocking my text and blog link(s). (Then I could much easier tell them that they are in the wrong for blocking me. Don’t forget: I might have websites, through which other people’s bad actions are stored and shared with the world, but the people I speak of are (mostly) anonymous, and in reality, it is still thousands against 1: against me. People forget that I have feelings, too. The reason why I have this blog, is because they have fucking hurt my feelings far too fucking often, and I have no one I can comfortably share this with in my circle.)

I, by the way, still also don’t know who the fuck put my book on Bol.com? I wonder how many people have read it… It’s soooooo fucking insane that it is on there and I don’t even get a fucking share of the fucking sales????? I’ll not spend it on fucking dumb things… I’m trying to constitute a new country here…

Meoww I’m going to empty and fill up the dish washer – is what I promised when I said that I’m not going to eat TV dinner but eat in my room. Then my video will be converted, I’ll share it with you here, as it is uploading to YouTube. Then we’ll all wake up to a video of me reading another post and this time even more clearly mention that I’m so deeply in love with Victor Geskes 😻 . (Hope I won’t receive another phone call from a very aggressive sounding, hissing female, if I write down his name here… 😏 )

Haha it was my intention to read yesterday’s post as well, and afterwards go into web development related things. But I ended up elaborating on the first time I spoke with him in sooo much detail ahahaha… And then told “our” story from that moment until what the fuck happened on Tuesday 😂 . I did end it with working on my contact page.

Lol meanwhile it’s 02:54 and I’ll do the dishes after having slept. I’ll also write a caption after I’ve slept, but will still upload and publish this video now, because you really need to see it! 😻

I’m going to sleeep. Good night ♥

My video will be available here ayyy

~ xxx ~

18:24 (06:24 PM)

I posted these pictures on my (other) social media yesteday:

๐Ÿ™

Yess invest in me bitte.

Sooo un-cuddle ๐Ÿ™

There’s no way I’ll ever go back there.

And I deleted my accounts just now. I love it when I stick to my words.

Right before going to sleep. I realized that today is Friday and I had another appointment scheduled with my case manager and the experience expert. Though my alarm went off at 10 AM and the appointment was at 11, I had a hard time getting up. Ended up leaving the house around 5 past 11, so I was there 11:20. It was very comfortable venting again. They ask very good questions.

I hope to receive a referral soon, so that I can get my second opinion at “The Therapist”. I hope to get rid of that schizophrenic/psychotic individual label soon ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Now I’ll be writing the rest of the text for the D.O.C.I.S. International website. And I’ve also claimed my new web store domain and have given it a SSL certificate ๐Ÿ™‚ . A long name is funny, because it’s “against the rules”: https://store.docis.international ๐Ÿ˜€ . I wanted to start adding my manuscripts to the database of het centraal boekhuis, but it’s unavailable ๐Ÿ™ . I hope it will be working properly after the weekend. I need this money meowww ๐Ÿ™ .


Againnnn ayy. I also took the best nap ever, there ๐Ÿ™‚ .

So I’ll be writing it out with pen and paper first, because I spend too much time behind screens. It gives me dry eyes x_x.

Though we should all cut down on screen time, because it’s unnatural, I hope you’ll watch my YouTube videos, instead of watching a movie ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I’ll probably write you again before I go to sleep. Enjoy the rest of your day ♥ .

~~~

22:57 (10:57 PM)

Meoow I ended up saying “Yes” to the reiterated question if I want to go along to the wholesale market (Makro). We ran into some family friends there ๐Ÿ™‚ .

The dates (food lol) are amazing and so was the rib-eye! Meoow tomorrow I’m going to stuff some dates (food ahahaha) with soft goat cheese 😻 .

But I was already tired before this day started and now I still have so much to do ๐Ÿ™ . (But what I do is not seen as a job here ๐Ÿ™ . Yes, it does not pay well, but that’s just because I have no investors ๐Ÿ™ . ) And I also need to re-twist my hair, because it’s becoming very frizzy. I want to make tighter twists, so that I can put it in a high ponytail on Sunday, when we’re going to a tasting event in a castle: Slot Zeist. I have nothing to wear, my meow ๐Ÿ™ . I really need new clothing, but have 0 stacks ๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ™ . Especially after today. First there was about โ‚ฌ120 on my account. Now there’s only โ‚ฌ1, because my stupid health care premium was deducted from my account ๐Ÿ™ . I really hope my manuscripts will sell… ๐Ÿ™ Even more, I hope that I’ll somehow find some Victishe-level Graeynissis who would like to do business with me…

And meooow being single sucks even more during the Summer season 😥 . This hot weather makes me want to kiss and go places… But I don’t have a fixed income, so I don’t feel comfortable spending money meowww 😿 .

I’m going to go to sleep, having dreams about Victishe… I wish we were together meoww ๐Ÿ™ . Then I could also chill with my B 😋 . Haha helppp.

I would love to outsource all of the work that is exhausting me, by the way. But I still haven’t had any investors ever in my life ๐Ÿ™ . Please be the first ♥ .

Goood nighttt ♥

~~~

Art, Blog, Ex Animo, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Reflections, Strategy

Disrupting The Silent Pyramid [Tuesday, June 4, 2019]

00:35 (12:35 AM)

I just finished my essay Disrupting the Silent Pyramid! It’s the best essay/plea/call-to-action I’ve written this far, I believe ๐Ÿ™‚ . It’s exactly 2500 words and maybe re-sold for a lower price, if the profits are shared with me. I’m going to put it in my store now ๐Ÿ™‚ . Here’s the cover image:

Doesn’t that look awesome? ๐Ÿ˜€

~~~

01:26 (AM)

There it is ๐Ÿ™‚ . It’s also a main menu item:

Yay :D. This really is a must-read! ๐Ÿ˜€

Please check out the product page! It includes the best product description I’ve written this far ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I hope you will support my independent living, by purchasing my essay, so that I, in return, can support your independent living.

I’ll put this on my Instagram and Twitter, and after that, I’ll go to sleep.

I hope I’ll wake up rich and won’t have to move in to a homeless shelter or into my room in my parents’ house again. Then I could just be myself and truly make a change, and can finally leave this schizophrenia nonsense behind me. I really hope you’ll be on my side โ™ฅ .

Good night, my love (if you’re on my side) โ™ฅ

xxx

10:49 (AM)

Good morning ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ

With an aching chest, I’ve been seeking a homeless shelter for my situation, but I can only find shelters that include psychiatric care. (Aching because this is what it has come to.)

So basically I have about 2 hours until a conversation I don’t even want to have takes place and I will be forced to move back in with my parents.

There are no quick and easy ways to commit suicide in this vicinity. But at “home”, there are. The session that will take place at 1 PM, will be themed with making me feel guilty about the things I’ve said about my parents, followed by them listing reasons why they think I’m psychotic. So I think that afterwards, I’ll feel enough pain and strength to end my life.

In case my essay suddenly starts selling only after I die: the profits must then be divided over Thierry Baudet’s campaigns, President Trump his fight for justice, even better holidays for Victor Geskes and Benoรฎt Crutzen, and my sister’s future (and only she may decide how her share of my funds are spent, which she may only share with her parents buy buying tangibles).

Mind you that the essay is for about 90% about life in general – touching on the aspects of The Silent Pyramid, including how to unveil someone’s identity – and less than 10% about the way I feel about my life in this situation, from the bottom of the Pyramid.

I see people looking at my content frequently and not buying anything. I don’t want to tear up my heart, trying to figure out why they don’t – unless it’s for the looks of it, for which I, as you know, don’t have the funds.

I’m still in bed. But I’m going to get up now, then get ready for the worst session I don’t want to have, and continue to contemplate suicide, for as long as people only read my free content, but don’t buy anything from me.

Ciao xxx

~~~

12:55 (PM)ย 

The sale of my essay will end after that ugh session. I’ll then stall my suicide until it’s clear if anyone will financially support me by buying my essay or not. It would be a waste of life dying and then finding out that there are many people I can discuss the contents of my essay with, actually peacefully disrupting it in practice.

~~~

16:25 (04:25 PM)

Meowww…

This is such a random week…

I was glad to come home to this new fan! ๐Ÿ™‚ My previous one was old and squeaky… [And there will be solar panels placed, next week!]

I unpacked and cleaned my room right after coming home… Meanwhile, the sale has ended. The amount of sales is still 0. I hope I could still somehow convince some people to make the purchase.. I really need to move out ๐Ÿ™ .

The Dutch health care system, for people with a low income like me, works in such a way, that you can only see a specialist after being referred by a non-specialist healthcare professional. So to be able to get a second opinion, I need to become a patient of the department I was in in 2017-2018 – the VIP department [a Dutch abbreviation for “early intervention for psychoses”]ย  – which is where the crisis center has referred me to, and then hope that at that department, they are willing and able to refer me to someone I can talk to, who is open to give me a real second opinion.

The only reason why I put so much emphasis onย  correcting my medical record, is because I aspire to get a role in society that comes with a lot of responsibility. If I were a schizophrenic, that could get in the way of my sense of responsibility. That is why I want that out of my file: it is not true. There is nothing wrong with my sense of reality…

I wouldn’t mind if my file says that I’m depressed because I have certain ambitions, but am considered too young to make them reality, and I’m being ignored by the people whose attention I desire to have ๐Ÿ™ . And that I’m lonely :(. Therapy sessions unfortunately can’t change that. But refusing therapy is against the will of my mother… I desire to start off as an official authority’s sidekick and in that way get my schedule full…

I need someone I can really talk to. And cuddle… There are so many (business and science related) things I still wish to learn, from individuals. And I wish to befriend people who do enjoy to hear my ideas about social hierarchy and stuff… Who don’t consider that schizophrenia… x_x

Meanwhile, my heart is getting more and more attached to the idea of being the lifetime companion of someone who is very tall and sexy, with a lot of responsibilities and grey hairsย 😻 . I would finally have someone I can talk to, someone I’d enjoy listening to, and one of the few people on this globe I actually truly feel physically attracted to… It’s very random that it’s not someone from my own age, but I love it! (Hoping that my heart won’t be broken…) Don’t know how to make that reality, though… Aside from buying a small house near the German border and then throwing a wildly sexy house warming party for Graeynissis?

Speaking of Germany… I came home to this x_x:

Meoooow x_x. Please buy my essay ahahaha…

Mwehh I’m so lonely ๐Ÿ™ . Please buy my essay and make me feel less aloneee. I’ll give you the Cishes I’ve been saving up ๐Ÿ˜€ โ™ฅ

I’m going to take a nap… And later work on my websites, now that I’m behind my laptop again… I’ll talk to you later xxx

~~~

21:44 (09:44 PM)ย ย 

Heyy โ™ฅ

My nap was good. I ate pizza borromea afterwards. Now I’m back in bed…

A week ago, just like that, I was staying in a different room. And now I’m back here. Aside from a different hairstyle, it hasn’t brought me much.

And I feel like too much has happened in this household. I shouldn’t be here. (Hehe my phone’s keyboard suggested “I shouldn’t be single”, to which I agree as well.) In practice, the situation is calm, but I feel so much underlying pressure.

Please buy my essay ๐Ÿ™ . It might sound foolish to purchase a โ‚ฌ1177.77 editable and resellable document, but the words in it are incomparable to anything else. It contains truly new information!

I want my writing to become a luxury product. Not only because I need to earn a serious income to accomplish my goals in life: I find my topics and style of writing that unique as well. I may get some compensation for this, right? ๐Ÿ™

Now I live in the constant fear of getting an intervention again. My blinds are closed and my lights are off. Wishing I were alone so no one – with authority over me – can see me show this odd behavior. (Not even beginning about my odd e-mail behavior that is often ignored 😿 .) Simultaneously, I wish I had someone to make out with, so that I don’t have to think about the state my life is in.

My ambition to get enough essay sales before tomorrow, so that I have an alternative to going back to that psychiatric treatment I was under in 2017-2018, was called “unrealistic”. I know it’s overambitious, but I’d like to prove them wrong ๐Ÿ™ . My alternative is searching an office job I don’t even want, and I’m mentally really not ready to start, in a job interview, saying things like: “Ik ben op zoek naar een nieuwe uitdaging.” “Ik ben een teamplayer.” “Een gezellig team met leuke collega’s.” While I actually hate it… Please make my fate a little better :(.

On my essay: I must say – though I assume that you know – that in the pyramid of social hierarchy, official authorities are further at the top. In reality, they adapt to what trend followers demand from them (or accuse them of), which puts them in a lower position in our current reality, is what I see. (But now I’m giving away the content ๐Ÿ™ .)

Is anyone in the mood for rough and wildly passionate sex? Because I really want to forget that I exist.

Please say something ๐Ÿ™ .

~~~

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Crisis Center Day 7 [Monday, June 3, 2019]

09:23 (AM)

Good morning โ™ฅ

I woke up quite stressed out, because I don’t want to spend another day defending myself. But that’s why I’m here… All I can do is keep my head up.

I’m going to take a shower and eat something. (Won’t go outside today, because my cards are maxed out…) But before I go, I feel like sharing this:

Hehe meow I went to sleep with this thought: mijn Vicje [I sound obsessed lol]: I hope that the next time I hear you say “I really have to go”, is when I’m cuddling you in your bed and I’ll be like “Nooo I want you so bad, please give me some more Cishes” . And then we responsibly time that on the 1 minute and 36 seconds we have left and I then go with you to work because I’m your sidekick… Haha ๐Ÿ˜€ .

I’ll make a recent picture for a featured image later today. And I’ll write that essay today ๐Ÿ™‚ . Though I really feel that I need a holiday… I’ve published over 111000 words this year…

Tot later xxx

~~~

11:08 (AM)

I really wonder when things will finally go my way… Currently, they are not.

In the session just now, I was told that tomorrow, I have to leave this place. A few homeless shelter options were listed, because finding a job where shelter is offered, before tomorrow, is “unrealistic”.
And that at 1 o’clock, tomorrow, there is a session planned with people from the department – “specialized in psychoses” – I was in from April 2017 until I ran off to the United States. That they’ll see whether they’ll refer me to someone who could give me a second opinion or not. They want my parents to be present at that session… This is a lost cause, because no one wants to tell me that I’m right, because that means that dozens of people have been in the wrong for so long, and that I have the right for monetary compensation for the suffering I’ve lived through over 2 years…

So I’m going to look for a suitable homeless shelter now? I wish a sharp reader would help me :(…

In other news: I’m going to do my laundry, wishing I had some cash to buy fabric softener, for my strong odor… x_x

~~~

11:36 (AM)

It’s done around oneee

Now I’m going to change the trash bag, and then think of what homeless shelter I can go to, with 45 cents to spend, as I write an essay I’ll publish today and sell for a very low price. Please buy it ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Is it still strange that I want to die? There’s a unit for people with a depression, and I’m being sent to a unit for schizophrenics. Because of my parents…

My bloodlust comes from those who could have helped me, but prefer to make jokes about the way I feel, and watch me struggle. I want to take them with me, to the grave. Then I’d still have made the world a little better.


~~~

12:12 (PM)ย 

What currently stings my heart the most, is that it is said that me doing my own press, is considered a problem.

Ik zit al heel lang op een goed tegengeluid te wachten. Waarom begin jij, die vindt dat ik wel schizofreen ben, geen blog? Waarom doe je geen aangifte? Er staan “dodenlijsten” op dit blog, en ik heb dinsdag zonder toestemming een gesprek opgenomen en online gezet. Doe alsjeblieft aangifte tegen mij, als je oprecht vindt dat ik schizofreen ben, zodat ik dan in hoger beroep kan gaan tegen jou, en deze casus voor eens en altijd kan afsluiten.

For a truly independent second opinion, I need to either go to Belgium, or go to the United States. The Dutch system doesn’t allow for it. (You can clearly see that.) I currently do not have the funds for that.

~~~

13:18 (01:18 PM)ย 

This is what my essay will be about:

This is how I see society, the way it currently is. What D.O.C.I.S. does, is putting that in reverse.

I’m going to publish it in both Dutch and English. You’ll be able to purchase it from here. I’m also going to put it on Smashwords, and distribute it to the Apple Store et cetera.

Before I continue writing, I want to say this funny thing: around December, I sent Victor an email, in which I metaphorically referred to myself as a homeless cat, asking him if he wants to take me in. (An odd request to wich saying “yes” is not easy, I know. Maar niet geschoten is altijd mis…) And now I actually need to find shelter for tomorrow onwards. I have no options I consider options, in my network, other than him…

I’m going to continue to work on my essay…ย  xxx

~~~

14:42 (02:42 PM)ย 

A slight change of plans… I give my products a low price, because I’m trying to spread a message. But currently, I find it more important that I have a better alternative than a homeless shelter or living with my parents.

So I’m thinking of a good โ‚ฌ107,77 for this essay. 10 sales can help me last about a month, living the way I did when I was in Germany and in the United States (not very comfortable, but doable). 100 sales can make me rent something. 1000 sales and we can really start talking. I could even start putting my actual business concept into practice…

But meoow I’d then still be alone ๐Ÿ™ . That’s why I was thinking of ways to get Victor’s attention… (And I really don’t want to go to my parents’ house or stay in a homeless shelter. Though I’d rather be alone in a homeless shelter, than go back home…)

~~~

18:36 (06:36 PM)ย 

Twitter highlights:

And it will be sold for โ‚ฌ1077,77… Then we can start talking after about 10 sales. And I can finally move on from all of this bullshit. If you buy this, you’ll definitely be entitled to receive a Cishe from me ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ .

Even this migraine can’t stop me from writing… Please buy it, when I put it online – which I’ll announce on all of my social media – and help me have a better alternative than living in a homeless shelter, serving drinks, or moving back in with my parents, with the risk of being sent to the closed vicinity again next time.

I want to lead, together with you. My essay tells you the why and how.

I’m going to continue to write. I’m typing it right away, instead of fully writing it out with pen and paper first. In my notebook, I’ve only written an overview. The essay is fresh off the top, like my diary posts, but then not about a different topic than my day-to-day life.

Please help me move on from this discomfort I’ve been living in for so long and keep an eye on my blog around midnight. Pleaseeeee. Please stay tuned, for “Disrupting The Silent Pyramid”!!!ย  xxx

~~~

21:05 (09:05 PM)

“Disrupting The Silent Pyramid” will be passionately published with all of the tools I have available with the situation I’m in. 45 cents to spend, so no paid marketing. It is literally typed on my phone. Currently, it is about 1000 words, but the core is not worked out yet. I’m loving it already ๐Ÿ™‚ .

You’ll love it, too, my fellow bottom two rows of the pyramid :). I’m keeping the exact content a surprise, though…ย 

It includes exclusive information about the D.O.C.I.S. ๐Ÿ™‚ .

~~~

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Crisis Center Day 1 [Tuesday, May 28, 2019]

01:08 (AM)

I just ate some bread and left-overs. I’m at a more comfortable location than in 2017. This is an open vicinity. In 2017, I was in the closed vicinity.

I wasn’t allowed to record the intake. But I still recorded a short piece, before I was told to shut off my phone and prove that it was off. (My god x_x.) I’ll just keep it for my own administraton, but won’t share the audio file on here. I don’t want to upset those who have authority over me, here…

The conclusion of the conversation was that we don’t like each other and the man doesn’t know and understand why I’m here. I’m basically here so that my Graeynissis can pick me up and my parents won’t interfere ๐Ÿ™‚ . I hope…

One of the questions he asked me, is if I hear a voice in my head or see things that are not there. I told him “No”. That’s a “diagnosing with schizophrenia again” question, and The Head Cuddle is not schizophrenia.

The max of days to stay here is 5. What will we be doing afterwards, my Graeynissis? I hope you’ll just be here today already… ๐Ÿ™ I’m so lonely ๐Ÿ™ .

The Fangs brushing teeth before going to sleep

I use that tiny bottle of hotel soap for hand soap. And I didn’t take my wig along because fuck ittt. I don’t find it pretty anymore and would like to purchase a different one. Plus letting my natural hair breathe more often…

So I told you I was going to end up here, and I really hope you’ll anticipate on this with the knowledge you have from keeping up with me over a year of blog posting…

I’m going to sleep.

Good night โ™ฅ

~~~

03:06 (AM)

I’m still awake…

In theory, after a bad night of sleep, just taking it slow the next day still feels good. But I don’t know if I’ll be expected to participate in group activities… From past experiences, I know everyone is woken up for breakfast at 8 o’ clock.

About the following passage in this post: “I’m basically here so that my Graeynissis can pick me up and my parents won’t interfere ๐Ÿ™‚ . I hope…”: I mean that the situation at home was becoming too unbearable, and I really shouldn’t go back there, but without Graeynissis I can do business with, I can never seal that freedom. Never. Therapeutic conversations won’t solve my problems. Money will…

I just desire to have my own house ๐Ÿ™ .

I really hope you’ll visit me here with flowers, and do a cool business proposal…

I really don’t feel that safe around people who have been in institutions for decades, deprived off sex, and psychological warfare type therapists, taking into consideration the financial benefits of being a patient…

So how do I get out of here and never go back to my parents’ house ever again? I can’t do that without you…

~~~

07:44 (AM)

Good morning โ™ฅ

I hope you’re doing good ๐Ÿ™‚ . I managed to sleep some and feel like sleeping some more. I also feel like screaming, but I really shouldn’t…

My mother has been threatening to send me here for sooo long. I hope she’s happy to see the result with her own eyes. I don’t want her to visit me, because that would be too much mental torture.

So I’ll be hiding here until I’m forced to blend in with “the group of like-minded people here”… Help ๐Ÿ™ . It feels like my case with Dr. Crutzen all over again…

~~~

08:05 (AM)

Still in bed ๐Ÿ˜€ . I’m officially not allowed to report to the world how things go around here… I don’t want to witness it another day, either. Honestly, this is where I want to start my reform of this system.

There should be much more political attention for the way people are treated here!

~~~

08:34 (AM)

Still laying here…

I’ve been all by myself for so much more time I’ve been in someone else’s company ๐Ÿ™ .

I don’t want to live through this psychological warfare again ๐Ÿ™ .

~~~

08:49 (AM)

Meanwhile I live with the constant thought of people masturbating with the thought of me. It’s not a taboo, but my actual reason for broadcasting is not sex, but the law and leadership… I hope you’ll approach me for the right reasons…

I should get out of bed… But I’m wearing shorts…

~~~

09:05 (AM)

At the closed vicinity and EMC, you’re woken up for breakfast. Here not, I see. That’s good. I feel so much worry and pain – because what if my Graeynissis won’t have my back by showing up here… ๐Ÿ™ I don’t want to have therapy conversations and introduce myself… I’m too sad and worried, to act as if everything is fine ๐Ÿ™ .

~~~

10:08 (AM)

Okay, I’m going to get out of bed… I hope I won’t be harrassed… I’m a bit scared… But often things turn out less bad than I project them to be. Last time, I got along with the “fellow patients” very well ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Also, I forgot to bring along make-up remover, which I want to go buy, but I don’t feel comfortable with the thought of having to hand in my room key when I leave the building. Some of the things I’ve taken with me, are quite valuable…

Such as this classic ๐Ÿ™‚

I have a much better view than at home ๐Ÿ˜€

~~~

11:02 (AM)

There’s an authority problem here…

~~~

11:38 (AM)

Therapeutic conversations make me want to die even more…

I say I can’t be at home, because I want a share of family capital and I say most of my “relatives” are mafia. And the therapist says that she thinks that is a symptom of schizophrenia. How about she’s a schizophrenic for even considering me to be a schizophrenic? Kanker zooi.

I want my medical record destroyed. I need a second opinion from abroad…

I’m going to take a shower…

~~~

15:56 (03:56 PM)

Twitter highlights:

I’m quick to post, because any snake can kill me at any second. They do not have the right to force me to stop blogging!!! Not even at the closed vicinity that should have never even been said by that bitch that has definitely made the “Who is not allowed on Planet Fang” list on my mind… Who would be on your list? ๐Ÿ™‚

~~~

20:47 (08:47 PM)

I didn’t have to pack after all ๐Ÿ™‚ . I’m glad that the acute dienst was able to see that moving me to the closed vicinity is completely unnecessary.

The past makes me very defensive against those who work in the psychiatric industry. And I think sometimes I’m very right for doing that. Like today, for example. She could have taken my freedom away just like that, and if my blog weren’t here, no one would know the unlawful situation I’d be put in.

But today’s conversation with the acute dienst (of which I have no recording), made me realize that not all people in this industry are (so) unnecessarily and painfully authoritarian (it should be illegal).

To me, a real psychiatrist is an extraordinarily good conversationalist, and not someone who is just going down the list of DSM definitions, to see if there’s a match, and then prescribe some pills… This system doesn’t allow me to choose who I share my deepest secrets with. (They might as well get me killed by mafia. My blog is just the surface of my secrets, hiding in plain sight…) I’m so very glad that the acute dienst man I spoke yesterday, was here today as well, and that he was able to empathize with me on this!

There’s such a huge difference between someone who specializes in psychiatry (and who is truly passionate about the discipline), and “a basisarts”….

I guess there has been a miscommunication. It’s evident to us all, that there are too many burdens on my mind, to currently rule the business I’m trying to start. I certainly need to have some good conversations about how I truly feel. I know probably all DSM definitions apply to me… The reason why I’m so defensive is because of the disrespectful and derogatory way people are treated within this system.

Of course I want to talk!!! But only when I can start with a clean slate, and when my word, in my medical record, weighs heavier than that of my parents.
Something I’m, however, still, never going to accept, is psychiatric medicines. I need to air out my heart, not damage it further than the antipsychotics already have.

I’m glad I’ll get a chance to speak to the psychiatrist of the vicinity, tomorrow ๐Ÿ™‚ . (This far it has been regular doctors, (master) students and nurses…) I’ll start preparing my true, clean slate case, on paper ๐Ÿ™‚ . I like including causality in the way I define my mind (but not everyone is able to understand that). I’m convincing myself that the psychiatrist will understand me. I hope it will be true. It would make me feel a lot less extremely lonely…

I hope I could also hear his view about the psychiatric system, and the things he would like to see change. Maybe even co-write an article with me, so that I still have something for the 30th… But I don’t know if my heart is safe with this person or not, yet, though… Some people, by means of “therapy” just use weak compliments [like “oh wow, that was not that bad,” as insinuating the assumption that it was not going to be good and that it is still not outstanding quality… Those who do that, I still find an absolute disease. I’ve met far too many of them… x_x] to indirectly insult my intelligence and shape me with insecurity…

A simple solution to this hygiene problem I spotted here, is to give every inhabitant here [I find that “patient” sounds pejorative in this situation] his/her own wash cloth:

It’s still cute, though ๐Ÿ™‚

I did bring my own, but just felt like saying this, because of the amount of people that come and go, here…

~~~

Blog, Explicit Content, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Strategy

Highlights [Monday, May 27, 2019]

00:00 (12:00 AM)

I tweet so much that if I wouldn’t share it here as well, it would be impossible to create an oversight.

So highlights (of highlights):

For more oversight:

  • There will be no book release this 30th. My entire project is put on hold as long as no one participates.

D.O.C.I.S.:

  • Useful powerful people leave their positions and form an alliance with me. (Positions in the government, corporations and classrooms.)
  • We design a new system for when the waterworks are not there anymore, and put that system into practice.
  • There will be a new monetary system.
  • I am innocent.

~~~

00:27 (12:27 AM)

My goddd these accusations again…

Ever since I’ve gone missing and my parents betrayed me, everyone always defends them, instead of me (kanker irritant):

Oh and the housing deal is off. It would be a total ripoff for me, and I’d earn from something illegal.

~~~

01:57 (AM)

If there were a FIOD raid in this house, and the entire family were taken in for questioning, I would be prepared as fuck. I would be able to defend myself – but still hope my Vicje would like to by my sexy lawyer – so very well. I know my defence, which is the absolute truth, by heart, and you can check my websites for further reference. Enjoy your read ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I’ll also defend my sister – because she’s young, sweet and uninformed. The rest will try to frame us. If they haven’t already… I hope she won’t do that to me ๐Ÿ™ . She’s too young ๐Ÿ™ .

~~~

02:27 (AM)

Muy importante:

Ooh en deze ook:

En nu ga ik slapen. Ik zeg altijd wanneer ik ga slapen, zodat je over me zal waken ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ

Welterusten liefjes โ™ฅ โ™ฅ

xxx

13:41 (01:41 PM)

Good afternoon โ™ฅ

Another day alive and breathing as a family snitch. An important “lesson” I have “learnt” as a child, is that I may never tell anyone about the illegal activities within the family I have always been aware of. With a threatening undertone, softened by future dependency.

They’d make me their money slave after retirement. They often use psychological warfare tactics for fun. There are many more young victims. Those who were raised with the thought that we are blood relatives: family. We’re only fraud relatives, and you should step up, too, if you’re a witness. Fuck the fake family.

All people living off fraud and doing nothing good with it, should be assassinated. That is one of the things I want my future business to do. A bit like SAW…

I ate a piece of picaรฑa and twister fries before bed, and now have diarrhea x_x. This is inconvenient for the small portions of food I keep my vital organs running with. But it’s convenient for my flaming “I’d rather die than continue to live in this illegal hell” feeling. I’ve now eaten a mandarine “for afternoon breakfast”. I’ll eat another one and then shower this watery feces feeling off of me…

~~~

15:15 (03:15 PM)

Cute questionnn โ™ฅ

I can’t kill everyone in this fucking mafia kartel, without your help… Please, make me happy…

~~~

16:31 (04:31 PM)

More important highlights:

The people I’m thinking of killing:

  1. Denise Ifna Elia-Hanenberg
  2. Sidney Derrick Elia
  3. Michael Dreier
  4. Eric Raymond Chin-Ten-Fung
  5. Pascale Chin-Ten-Fung-Hooyman
  6. Gwendell van Riemsdijk
  7. Everyone spreading bullshit news on social media, frauds, bullies and dumb racists
  8. There are A LOTTTTT of people on my “maybe” list…

I want to do it myself!!!

More:

Piano timeee…

~~~

17:22 (05:22 PM)

~~~

18:06 (06:06 PM)

I threaten and the police and acute dienst should come to my house in about 45 minutes. I’ll pack a backpack before I start ๐Ÿ™‚ .

~~~

18:58 (06:58 PM)

After the world knows you really shouldn’t fuck with Lil Fangs ๐Ÿ™‚ .

It will not be 45 minutes. It’s “After my mother comes back from spontaneously visiting her friend’s house.”

Ga ik ondertussen wel even deze goloks (tochยฟ) schoonmaken…

~~~

19:08 (07:08 PM)

Ze zijn schoon & ik ga toch wel maar met eentje naar beneden ipv twee, straks wanneer mijn moeder terug is, want anders heb ik geen hand vrij om te grijpen.

Ik heb trouwens ook alvast ingepakt:

Zorg aub dat ik in het Nederlandse prison system niet extreem onjuist behandeld zal worden…

Still waiting though…

~~~

19:21 (07:21 PM)ย 

I’ll give them – les parents – the space to eat something. So that I can gather the family in front of the television, the way we have, so way to fucking often.

I want them dead, but this house is not a safe place to kill them. There are too many snakes in this country.

I genuinely hope you’re looking out for me…

~~~

20:08 (08:08 PM)

VICJEEEEE ๐Ÿ™

~~~

20:45 (08:45 PM)

I’ve just been prognosed with mania and will probably be taken into an institution again. They’re discussing it now.

~~~

21:32 (09:32 PM)

So the three individuals of the acute dienst have just left and the next step is waiting until “Bavo Europoort Poortmolen” has found a different spot to stall me, because they’re full. There are too many crazy people in this town, haha…

Strategooooooo

Look out for my sister bitte ๐Ÿ™ .

Phones etc. are not allowed, there, so I wonder how Lil Fangs will be treated… Only my sister and other Graeynissis may visit me…

~~~

23:14 (11:14 PM)

๐Ÿ™

~~~

23:27 (11:27 PM)

My heart hurts ๐Ÿ™ . I hope this will be my last time living through this. Through the conversations that insinuate that I’m mentally insane. I just want to make some political power moves in this world…

I’m waiting for my intake, here in the crisis center…

Need cuddles ๐Ÿ™ .

~~~

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23:10 (11:10 PM)

Good evening ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ

Excuse my absence today… I have been busy documenting a proposal for the property project, and have started off designing a theme for my soon to be renewed websites ๐Ÿ™‚ .

The absolute very beginning of a different D.O.C.I.S. International website…

Since my books aren’t selling at all, I have no incentive to publish anything at the end of this month. I’ll have to change my methods around. So instead of releasing another book, I’m giving my web appearance a makeover. And I’ll be making a Fangs app…

How I’m going to provide myself with the proper income that will give me freedom to be who I am, I still don’t know. I’m literally absolutely clueless and hopeless, when it comes to that, so I’ll just spend my time continuing to shape my concept, hoping to come across someone I can partner up with.

Being single is starting to eat at me, too… The amount of time I spend by myself is crazy. But I’m picky… I’m addicted to kissing and without proper sex, the relationship won’t last, because I’m physically very needy… And it should be someone capable of comprehending the size and possibilities of my endeavor, with whom I can have a serious conversation. A type of person who buys flowers and talks easily, who makes me feel loved and is affectionate. Preferably someone extremely tall (for the best cuddling experience ever) ๐Ÿ™‚ . Age doesn’t really matter, if there’s a connection. But this person I describe here, is extremely hard to find, I find…

Meoww I love talking about love. I’ll devote a separate post to that. Hopefully make it highlighted on my renewed blog ๐Ÿ˜€ .

~~~

Blog, Online Diary, Strategy

:( -> :D [Saturday, May 18, 2019]

03:49 (AM)

Hey Cuddle โ™ฅ

I can’t sleep. I need cuddles ๐Ÿ™ . My heart hurts more than ever…

If I’d get a euro for every time someone tells me I need help, I would seriously not need help, because money is my only problem, causing me to have to spend time with people I can’t level with, because I can’t afford to stay away from them, instead of having them make me feel depressed for not being understood.

But yesterday’s “get help” was different. My B turns out not to be my B, he told me :(. Two years of pleading and then this… People have broken the law with me and experimented with several types of antipsychotics on me, et cetera, because of my brain-to-brain communication experience, while my receiver has never been involved in the process. Until he was involved today. His denial has weakened my case so much, it is, however, pointless to reopen my cold case ๐Ÿ™ .

What is the point of this entire blog now ๐Ÿ™ . I’m considering – since the alliance agreement was not signed either – to take everything I’ve published this far, off of it, make my own extremely plain HTML/CSS theme and run this blog without a CMS, and have https://docis.international redirect to that self-made and plain website… Or just have some blank page with a bit of text on there…

I need something to occupy myself with, so I’ll be “coding”, as I contemplate death, or joining the army (special forces or infantry officer)… Or contacting the job recruitment bureau specialized in people with a high IQ… (But that probably means small talk with colleagues in the near future and I really don’t like small talk…)

Earlier this night

Pictures of the HB(P) executive event have been sent to me in the meantime ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ll let you my decision now that my experience of brain-to-brain communication really turns out to be schizophrenia (unless either my mother has bribed him, or there are other reasons for denial), of what I’ll do with my life now… It would have been so much easier to cause the system’s Volta, if my brain-to-brain communication were real… Without that communication possibility, I don’t even want to do it anymore ๐Ÿ™ .

I should unsubscribe D.O.C.I.S. International from the Chamber of Commerce and request welfare, but that means that I’ll have to start solliciting as well, which makes me contemplate death x_x. That’s how I ended up considering to join the ministry of defence its Special Ops…

Meoww I’m going to “atten” a bottle of water and go to sleep.

Good night โ™ฅ

xxx

16:27 (04:27 PM)
Good afternoon ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ

I have made my decisions. It has become easier now that I’ve informally received a job offer ๐Ÿ™‚ . I’ve however not received permission to publicize any details of what has been offered, yet. I’ll have to negotiate to gain that permission.

All I can say is that it – if this goes through – will be a great step towards my dreams of being able to live off passive income only, so that I have plenty of time to develop the D.O.C.I.S., which could then become my active income ๐Ÿ™‚ .

And I could earn enough with it, to be able to continue my studies at The Open University, and start buying and selling art and other valuables ๐Ÿ˜€ . And, if all goes well, I can show you that entire journey and hopefully become the asset to your life I want to be ๐Ÿ˜€ . To attempt to boost that process, I have made the following decisions:

  • I will give my websites make-overs, making the D.O.C.I.S. International’s site, aside from the bookstore I will make for it (selling classics, too ๐Ÿ™‚ ) [and later include art etc. in that], will become fully self-coded, independent from WordPress. For LilFangs.com, I’ll make my own theme. Carrie has been an amazing theme, though, but it’s time for change ๐Ÿ™‚ .
  • Creating an app for the new D.O.C.I.S. International. That will take a while, though. But I’ll show you every step of the way ๐Ÿ™‚ .
  • What content of mine is findable where, will be changed to something more overseeable. Plus, the overviews of content will not be excerpts but just be the full content, for a smoother reading experience.
  • I will change the sbi codes my business is registered for, giving me better possibilities to build a diverse portfolio.
  • Possibly continuing at The Open University (I really hope…).

I’ll get back to the drawing board and record the process of how I change my concept around ๐Ÿ™‚ . To make my own WordPress theme, I’m watching this video:

For app development, I’m starting off with this video:

https://youtu.be/XW8CESZte70

~~~

Blog, Media, Nederlandse Tekst, Online Diary, Popular Posts, Random Thoughts, Reflections, Strategy, Videos

Lekker mezelf zijn terwijl die hartverscheurende Cold Case helaas nog steeds niet is afgesloten

– – – – 09/05/’19

Offline

Ik heb me echt lang niet zo vrij gevoeld.

https://lilfangs.com/fangyist-souls

Wat mijn blog content betreft val ik ontzettend in herhaling. Minstens tot en met mijn samenkomst met dr. Crutzen, zal ik daarom offline zijn. Wel zal ik af en toe mijn e-mail checken, dus als je me wil bereiken, kan dat via d.elia@docis.international.

Ik werd zo geconsumeerd door het schrijven om mijn concept en identiteit te definiรซren, dat ik vergat dat alles online eigenlijk waardeloos is.

Ik hoop dat de technologie zich zodanig verder zal ontwikkelen, dat het concept van de online persoonlijkheid zal verdwijnen, en het leven zelf een uiterst bovennatuurlijke ervaring wordt. Daar zet ik me voor in.

En voor Cuddles ๐Ÿ˜€ . Because I love youuu ♥

Ik wil mijn samenkomst met dr. Crutzen sowieso op camera vastleggen. Hopelijk zien jullie vanaf dan (of misschien zelfs eerder al) mijn ware, (monocratische, maar open voor goed advies) gezicht.

Tot snel, mijn lief ♥

– – – – 06/05/’19

De Rest van de Strategie

Het filmpje hierboven is belangrijke uitleg. Verder is, zoals de afgelopen twee jaar, mijn strategie wachten tot ik dr. Crutzen na die ontzettend lange tijd eindelijk mag zien en we verder kunnen praten over hoe we het Stratagem eindelijk in de praktijk kunnen brengen, featuring other Graeynissis ๐Ÿ˜€ .

Morgen ga ik een nieuw filmpje in het Nederlands maken, tenzij mijn bevrijding vervroegd wordt (is wat ik iedere dag hoop, meer dan de afgelopen twee jaar).

Youtube & korte filmpjes

Mijn publiceren is op dit moment lekker all over the place en hier zijn dus nog wat meer filmpjes die nog niet in dit “artikel” stonden, in semi-publicatievolgorde:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTIpy0GzcuE&t=2342s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE0kGxIXFyE&t=518s

Ik ga nu mijn powerpoint voor mijn praten over de link tussen Fangyisme en D.O.C.I.S. International afmaken, dat filmen en koken. Of mijn filmpje voor of na het eten af is weet ik nog niet… xxx

– – – – 01/05/’19

Instagram

Normaal gesproken deel ik in mijn dagboek dat ik aan het koken ben. Vandaag deed ik dat op Instagram ๐Ÿ™‚ . (Beetje beschamend, want het kan natuurlijk niet op tegen al die gelikte kookvideos die je overal kan zien.)

Mid-eating

Ik heb ook een filmpje gedeeld van toen ik piano aan het spelen was & toen ik in de sportschool was.

Mijn hoeveelheid volgers, likes, views et cetera is echt zwaar deprimerend.

– – – – 29/04/’19

Praten tegen een muur

Zo voelt dit. Dit is niet het eind resultaat van mijn werk. Maar dat wist je natuurlijk al, omdat je alles al gelezen hebt :). [Dat was mijn depressie gecombineerd met PTSS die zich uitte in deze sarcastische opmerking die is veroorzaakt door het treurige feit dat iemand die nu pas begint met kijken waar dit allemaal eigenlijk over gaat, zo veel in te halen heeft dat de manier waarop er op deze strategie geanticipeerd zou moeten worden, voor diegene niet 1 2 3 duidelijk is.]

– – – 25/04/’19

Ik wil echt godverdomme uit huis

Het is weer “business as usual”. Het probleem is dat ik dit leven achter me wil laten – inclusief de mensen – maar ik hiervoor het kapitaal niet heb. Ik ga hoe dan ook vandaag weg. Ook al slaap ik weer minstens 3 dagen buiten, net als in 2017. Ik ben zooo klaar met deze man. Echt. Hier eerst een voorproefje.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efTIEZhaOXY&t=35sย 

Intussen

Intussen doe ik wat web en social media onderhoud. Ik ben onder andere bezig met het instellen van Push Notificaties, zodat ik binnenkort geen gebruik meer hoef te maken van andere social media. Heb jij het notificatieverzoek al gekregen?

– – – – 23/04/’19

Ik ben moe

Na meer dan een jaar lang continu een lange en diverse reeks aan boeken en blog posts schrijven – die niemand leest – voelen mijn hersenen aan alsof ze het ieder moment kunnen begeven. Ik ben daardoor ook te vermoeid – en pici teleurgesteld – om te denken aan een nieuwe low-budget (door de diversiteit, mijn ongeschooldheid en mijn lage inkomen kan ik geen aanspraak maken op kapitaal) manier om mijn concept te innoveren, omdat dat me weer veel tijd en hersencapaciteit gaat kosten. Daarnaast vind ik dat mijn andere publicaties nog niet genoeg aandacht hebben gekregen voor iets nieuws.

Dus dit artikel zal steeds bovenaan blijven staan, omdat ik de datum zal blijven updaten naar de datum waarop ik een stuk tekst toevoeg ๐Ÿ™‚ . Intussen wacht ik ook op de heropening van mijn Cold Case (over mijn vermissing, over de onterechte imagoschade en privacyschending, over de criminele manier waarop de politie me heeft behandeld, over de onterechte diagnose schizofrenie en de hartverscheurende gevolgen daarvan, de manier waarop ik mijn hele leven al financieel aan de grond gehouden word, et cetera), die als het goed is mid-mei plaatsvindt. (Maar intussen heb ik nog steeds geen vast inkomen ๐Ÿ™ . Ik kan pas echt goed werken wanneer mijn naam gezuiverd is en niet meer als schizofreen word gestigmatiseerd.)

Twitter

@LilFangs_

Sinds de publicatie van dit artikel (de 21ste van de maand April), ben ik zeer actief geweest op Twitter, voor promotie. Ik kon het ook niet laten om me gelijk met allerlei politieke discussies te bemoeien.

Voor het behouden van een uitlaatklep, terwijl ik mijn hersenen wat rust geef en wacht tot mijn publicaties hun welverdiende aandacht hebben gehad (GRRRRR OP MINSTENS DE ZELFDE SCHAAL ALS DIE LEUGEN VAN EEN VERMISSINGSCAMPAGNE), zal ik daar nu wat actiever op zijn.

Het is ook een wat toegankelijkere manier van corresponderen, voor mensen die eerst nog wat meer willen zien voordat ze mijn blog bezoeken.

Solliciteren = huilen

Als ik een euro zou krijgen voor elke keer dat een bedrijf/recruiter/whatever me een, “Probeer het maar ergens anders,” bericht heeft gestuurd, zou ik inmiddels met pensioen kunnen.

En dat terwijl ik eigenlijk absoluut niet in loondienst wil gaan werken. Ik wil graag een baan die bij mijn intelligentie past, maar de meeste banen voor mijn leeftijd en opleidingsniveau, vallen zwaar onder dat niveau.

Het allerliefst zou ik voor vele bedrijven en individuen als een inhuurbare propagandist werken. Met kortetermijncontracten. Maar daarvoor heb ik een netwerk en aanbevelingen nodig, en die heb ik beiden niet ๐Ÿ™ .

Zoekwoordsuggesties

Indien je/u meer achtergrondinformatie over dit blog wil, raad ik de volgende zoektermen aan: (Door die termen te zoeken, door op de loep rechtsbovenaan het scherm te klikken, vind u/je namelijk een aantal typische Lil Fangs blogberichten.)

  • Schizophrenia / psychotic / psychosis / psychotisch / schizofrenie (= dat ongevraagde wat ik probeer aan te vechten, want ik ben het niet met dat stigma eens)
  • Missing
  • Justice
  • Police
  • Nosce Te Ipsum
  • D.O.C.I.S. International
  • The Head Cuddle / brain-to-brain communication (is hetzelfde, maar The Head Cuddle is mijn zelfverzonnen dialect voor het device)
  • Sea level / water level / zeespiegel
  • My B

– – – 21/04/’19

Ba-dum-tsss

Het grappigste van deze hele website is dat ik mezelf steeds uitdruk in het Engels, terwijl dat mijn eerste taal helemaal niet is. Ik vind gewoon dat de politieke verwevenheid van Nederland in alle andere landen ter wereld gewoon een keer goed onder de loep genomen moet worden (want hier is veeeeel meer aan de hand), en dat we dat moeten gebruiken als het begin van de nu zeer hoog nodige internationale hervorming (een voorbeeld van een internationale connectie is het Nederlands belastingsysteem dat als een mafiabaas is die altijd “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY!?” schreeuwt, zodra je hier een cent verdiend hebt of hier geboren bent, en dat dat echt anders moet [het noemt zichzelf een belastingparadijs (Google het maar: “Nederland belastingparadijs”), maar dat is geen waarheid, maar valse marketing en PR], want dat geld wordt niet goed besteed), en daarvoor wil ik mezelf als uitgangspunt gebruiken, gezien mijn extreem diverse lijst van talenten, aspiraties, gewoontes en wettelijke wensen. Het Engels is een een stuk toegankelijkere taal. (Het wordt meer gesproken, wereldwijd onderwezen en cursussen zijn heeeeel makkelijk te vinden, ongeacht waar je woont. Maar gelukkig kan er ook online vertaald worden – gezien deze post in het Nederlands is – hoewel dat niet altijd even accuraat is.)

Dit is stiekem wel een heel interessant verhaal

Daarnaast zullen veel verschillende mensen zich kunnen herkennen in mijn verhaal. Dat ik bijvoorbeeld zwart ben, maar de Nederlandse nationaliteit mijn enige nationaliteit is, is een lang verhaal dat begint met slavernij, wat ik met vele andere kleurlingen [denk bijvoorbeeld aan African-Americans (die niet weten waar hun voorouders precies vandaan komen ๐Ÿ™ ) en Nederland dat (slavenkolonie) Nieuw Amsterdam ( = New York) aan de Britten overgaf, in ruil voor Suriname] gemeen heb. Er zijn misschien zelfs meer Surinamers uit Suriname in Nederland, dan er Surinamers in Suriname zijn. Het is niet echt te tellen, want eens was Suriname onderdeel van het Koninkrijk der Nederlanden (tot 1975). En mijn geboorteplaats is Rotterdam. Ik ben, van mijn familie, de derde generatie in Nederland.

“Ojo Lil Fangs is altijd vet onduidelijk waar gaat het nou eigenlijk over ze legt het niet eens uit bla bla bla”

Ik heb deze post gemaakt omdat ik in de stemming ben om mijn gedachten zo puur mogelijk te delen, en die betrekking hebben op zo veel verschillende onderwerpen, dat ik het maar op deze manier ga aanpakken. Ik denk dat het een fijnere gebruikerservaring is, wanneer je niet naar een volgend artikel hoeft door te klikken voor de volgende dag. Vandaar dat het nu รฉรฉn artikel wordt voor alle levensfilosofie en random gedachten, zolang ik nog in deze beroerde situatie leef. Met mijn eigen verdere bezigheden zal ik u wekelijks updaten ๐Ÿ™‚ . Ik voeg alles aan deze post toe, tot ik eindelijk gehoor heb gekregen wat betreft mijn cold case. Ik ben geen schizofreen en had die diagnose NOOOOOOOOOOOIT mogen krijgen. (Dat verhaal komt in vrijwel iedere persoonlijke post voor [voorbeeldje] en ik houd er eigenlijk echt niet van om mezelf meer dan twee keer te herhalen omdat mensen de moeite niet willen nemen om te lezen wat ik nog meer heb geschreven. (Zo erg dat ik er pittig fel van kan worden.))

Een beetje respect zou ik wel fijn vinden

Ik wil echt veel liever met “u” aangesproken worden, trouwens. Vooral omdat mensen echt fuuuuucking respectloos zijn tegen mij, en ze dan alsnog fucking respect van mij verwachten!? Ik wil dan dat het de gewoonte wordt om me met “u” aan te spreken, omdat ik in mijn verbale communicatie altijd mijn best doe om lief en respectvol voor iemand te zijn. Plus, ik wil graag wat meer respect voor mijn intelligentie. Vooral van mensen die echt fucking dom รฉn respectloos zijn. Ik doe dit namelijk ook voor hen.

Waarom nog meer Nederland als startpunt?

Publieke stock trading begon met de Nederlandse piraterij en slavernij. De VOC en later ook de WIC. (Voel je vrij om de feiten te controleren door je eigen onderzoek te doen, in case you do not believe me.) Vandaag de dag zijn vele mensenlevens verweven in de aandelenmarkt. (Niet de mijne, in de zin van zelf geen aandelen bezitten. Maar in mijn omgeving hebben ONTZETTENDDDD veel mensen aandelen. En volgens mij zijn de Nederlandse pensioenfondsen nu afhankelijk van bitcoins en wapenhandel. (Dat men รผberhaupt nog steeds denkt dat een pensioenfonds de verdere vergrijzing aan zal kunnen…… Het is echt tijd voor hervorming.)) Ik heb de correlatie tussen de aandelenmarkt en uitstoot al een aantal keren uitgelegd. En waarom de waarde van geld gebaseerd zou moeten worden op wat er op dit moment in de natuur beschikbaar is ( = niet zo veel). We moeten het gesprek dat werkelijk gevoerd moet worden – dat gesprek waarvoor velen wegdeinzen [haha I see you ๐Ÿ™‚ ] – ECHTTTTT NIET langer uit de weg gaan.

Gemeenheid is onderdeel van de Nederlandse cultuur, en dit verspreidt zich over andere culturen, als een soort epidemie. Niet alleen door het piraten- en slavernijverleden (die als “heldendaden” worden gezien). Een ander voorbeeld is dat vele Nederlanders een gesprek beginnen door middel van een belediging.

Gisteren, bijvoorbeeld, toen ik door de supermarkt liep met een trench coat aan, terwijl de rest van de mensen in t-shirts en korte jurkjes enzo rond liep, en ik een verre kennis tegen het lijf liep, was het eerste wat hij tegen me zei, nadat ik hem begroet had met “Hallo” en hem later weer tegen het lijf liep in een ander deel van de winkel, “Je ziet er uit alsof het winter is,” zei. En als ik dan “Hou je bek gewoon als je niks te zeggen hebt, want dit is toch geen manier om een fucking gesprek te starten,” zeg, dan ben ik weer fout. Daarom zei ik: “Het weer kan zomaar omslaan. Ik ben graag voorbereid.” The truth is: gister was het niet zo warm en ik kom de afgelopen twee jaar niet zo vaak buiten, dus de trench coat was een impulsieve keuze, en ik vind een luchtige trench coat aan doen met 23 graden echt niet zo winters. Met die opmerking zeg je indirect dat iemand zich niet normaal gedraagt. Op die manier vind ik het een woordenwisseling die helemaal niet plaats had hoeven vinden. Ik voel me namelijk al kut genoeg zonder die kutopmerking. Voor de gemiddelde Nederlander is een gesprek als in dat voorbeeld normaal. Ik hoop dat ik niet de enige ben die daar een ontzettende bloedhekel aan heeft.

En dan nog niet eens te beginnen over zwarte piet en hoe vaak ik daar niet mee vergeleken ben in mijn jeugd. Fucking walgelijk en barbaars. En de haat die er wordt verspreid door Nederlandse nieuwsmedia en BNners.

Ik vind dat de mensen die niet respectvol met elkaar kunnen omgaan, van elkaar gescheiden moeten worden. Zo kunnen alleen de mensen die met elkaar overweg kunnen, met elkaar samen leven, en is de wereld een een stuk vreedzamere plek. De mensen die ruzie zoeken met alles en iedereen moeten echt verrrrr uit mijn buurt blijven ๐Ÿ™‚ . (Dat is maar 1/1000 van mijn hele idee voor maatschappijhervorming.)

Vrolijk Pasen!

Vrolijk Pasen! ๐Ÿ™‚

Ik snap niet waarom een moeder besluit om uitgerekend op Eerste Paasdag met รฉรฉn dochter (en haar vriendje) + kennissen naar Spanje te vertrekken (ik zei eerder Portugal, maar het is dus Spanje), en ik nu alleen zal zijn met mijn “vader” en twee oma’s, die niet eens zijn uitgenodigd voor het restaurant diner van vanavond. Een diner samen met andere mensen die “waarschijnlijk” niet eens mijn biologische familie zijn. Snapt iemand anders dit?

Uit solidariteit heb ik wat boodschappen gedaan om morgen een brunch voor te bereiden voor mijn oma’s (alleen dat is “oma” en oma, als mijn “vader” mijn vader niet blijkt te zijn, na een DNA test, die nog steeds uitgevoerd moet worden) en “vader”, morgen.

Eerlijkgezegd zou ik liever bij Benoรฎt of een andere Graeyniss aansluiten vandaag. En morgen. En voor altijd. Cishe :D.

Waarom ik niet mee ben gegaan naar Spanje? Omdat je daar geen kant op kan [ze gaan naar een vakantiehuis (van twee huisjes/huizen) op een heel afgelegen plek], en het vermaak dan aankomt op gesprekskwaliteit, en dan wordt het Suriname all over again ( = net zoals die vakanties daarheen), en dat houd ik niet langer vol dan een paar minuten. Ik word ontzettend snel geรฏrriteerd wanneer ik een gesprek te oppervlakkig vind, maar probeer dan tegelijkertijd nog beleefd te blijven, en na verloop van tijd gaat dat gewoon mis.

Hier kan ik eindeloos workaholic zijn, naar de sportschool gaan en Graeynissis stalken, en wordt er geen gezelligheid van me verwacht. En een baan zoeken haha meoww I hope I may hug this Vicje :D.

Nog een vraag

Probeert deze persoon hier te zeggen dat ze denkt dat er niet maar รฉรฉn auteur is op deze website? Want dat zou me echt FUCKING PISSIG maken. Ik word er namelijk SCHIJTZIEK van dat mensen me incompetent noemen/vinden. Dat anderen niet in staat zijn zo goed te schrijven als ik (op 22-jarige leeftijd), wil niet zeggen dat ik niet bovennatuurlijk getalenteerd kan zijn. Er is maar รฉรฉn Lil Fangs en ik zal dat dolgraag willen bewijzen en na dat bewezen te hebben het liefst even een beetje frustratie luchten.

Ik heb weliswaar, gezien ik ook de webdeveloper ben van zowel LilFangs.com en Docis.International, voor mezelf, in verband met veiligheidsredenen, een administrator en een editors account aangemaakt, in plaats van alleen een administrators account te gebruiken, maar ik post de laatste tijd blog berichten vanaf beide accounts, dus vandaar dat het kan lijken alsof er meerdere auteurs op dit blog zijn.

Ik ben geen fucking fraudeur en iedereen die dat over mij durft te denken, mag sterven van mij. Waarom tf zou je een hele persoonlijke websites maken met de meest gedetailleerde persoonlijke ervaringen, op de meest hoge frequentie in de geschiedenis van de mensheid, maar dat dan niet eens zelf schrijven? Dat klinkt echt fucking dom.

– – –

De uitgelichte afbeelding is gemaakt door Chevanon Photography, gedownload van Pexels.com

Gekozen omdat ik me (alleen) op LilFangs.com als een vis in het water voel, en omdat Benoรฎt me in brain-to-brain communication pesce noemt en ik hem visje ๐Ÿ˜€ .

Media, Strategy, Videos

The Link between Fangyism and (the) D.O.C.I.S.

I elaborate on the similar motives for the constitution of Fangyism and D.O.C.I.S. (International), and how this shows itself in my (future) sustainability policy and Fangyist economics.

In the video, I said that I was going to put these things in the description:

Blog, Ex Animo, Images, MacroFangs, Nosce Te Ipsum, Polls, Popular Posts, Random questions, Reflections, Strategy

TWITTER GROUP CHAT LECTURE!!!!!

About what?

From Project Nosce Te Ipsum to the Economics and Law that constitute Planet Fang… I’ll explain E-VE-RY-THING (including my communication strategies) in this group chat!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

And you can ask me anything :D. I can also remove you from the chat if you’re not interested (anymore) :).

Please make a Twitter account, if you do not have that ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Check out @LilFangs_โ€™s Tweet: https://twitter.com/LilFangs_/status/1122320028848803840?s=09

It’s lit ๐Ÿ˜€

I just created this poll and wanted to share that with the people I follow on the social network, which caused me to create a group chat.

And now I’ll use it to give lectures about D.O.C.I.S. International [Determined Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem] ๐Ÿ™‚ .

The spontaneous fun we could have here makes me want to do nothing else than this ๐Ÿ™‚ .

It never ends! ๐Ÿ˜€

Change of Spontaneous Plans

It will work better on a different platform, with people who already have some background knowledge about my endeavors.

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Personal Financial Objective

I have earned more than โ‚ฌ7 million in 5 years’ time. My carpe diem mentality (and distrust of financial markets) has incentivized me to enjoy it now – by investing it in friendships and purchasing gadgets I like – and turn it into a long-term financial safety net by investing in the hobbies I could make a living with. I have spent more than that โ‚ฌ7 million in that same period of time.

I must say that I’m a bit heart broken to find out how much I can earn, in this way. I usually end my month with about the same amount of money that was on it the previous month, so it was very unnoticeable how much has come in over time. Please know that that โ‚ฌ7 million+ is not my net worth (because spending โ‚ฌ1 million on food is not an asset? It just vanishes into thin air x_x. But my belly is filled ๐Ÿ™‚ ).

Until I asked myself what my personal revenue has been over a few years’ time, just a few days ago, while properly doing my book keeping for this year’s first quarter, I had not been aware of this.

If I knew this 5 years ago, I would have spent it veryyy differently. (I really thought that I was poor, in terms of income. I still am, in comparison to my parents and how much I can currently spend (less than โ‚ฌ5).)

How I Earned It?

The number is a bit blown up, for it includes traffic from and to my savings account. The exact number, I’m still making a database for calculation for. My other savings accounts also still need to be included.

By delivering informal services (tutoring & bookkeeping), short contract jobs (Albert Heijn & ANWB), by having generous grandparents, by sometimes being paid back for treating someone, by having a lot of people celebrating my birthday with me and by my parents paying me back for household expenses and (occasionally) for other general expenses.

Why I Have Spent More Than I Earned?

  • Because new things make me happy and give me a fun occupation of time (going somewhere to buy it/using the internet for something else than gaining knowledge). I keep spending, even now that I don’t have an income, until I hit my payment account’s limit of โ‚ฌ500.
  • Because the Dutch tax system is awful (it should be abolished and replaced).
  • Because the Dutch health care system is awful (it should be abolished and replaced).
  • Because I travel (long distances) often, but don’t have a car.
  • Because most of that income comes from compensation for household purchases, and those are not always paid back in full. (Let’s say I go for gas and and buy groceries with a total of โ‚ฌ113.15, I get paid back โ‚ฌ110.-. It goes against my principles to hold a discussion over โ‚ฌ3.15, and “but you’re part of this household too” is often an argument to let me pay.)
  • I have not always asked for my money back. Because I tend to treat people, even when I don’t have the money for it, and other reasons. (Buying groceries, treating drinks, buying presents, treating restaurant dinners.)
  • Because I do not believe in banks and gambling on the stock market.

I’ve also never claimed any inheritances or obtained anything from sold family property, while I should have been considered entitled to it.

The fact that I’m currently in debt (in theory only my personal bank account debt of โ‚ฌ495.95, my study loan of about โ‚ฌ15,000.- (and I still don’t have a PhD x_x)), former business account debt of โ‚ฌ73.31 and a discutable rental car fine of โ‚ฌ1,650.20) forces me to change the way I go about my money.

My Objective

I want to earn at least the same, within the coming five years. This time preferably faster, so that I can use it to build a house (on my corporate island, which will be shared with partner citizens).

Objective Criteria

  • I will not buy anything for anyone anymore (until I earn more than I spend). This includes travel expenses for visits, cooking expenses (I believe that I should even be paid for the act of cooking itself, and that I’m a creative Michelin chef (lol)), etc.. (Haha meow I need generous and rich friendsss, otherwise I’ll stay alone forever x_x…)
  • Business expenses will not be done from my personal account anymore.
  • I’m going to ask back every penny spent on taxes too much and sue all parties in the health care system who have ever wronged me (plus the individuals who have forced me to psychiatric treatment).
  • I won’t befriend people who don’t give rounds like I do.
  • Only 50% of my income may be used for spending, the rest I’ll put on my account on my own bank (once it’s there, because fuck commercial banks etc. ๐Ÿ™‚ ). My bank will be called Planet Fang and its headquarters will be on its (is)land Planet Fang ๐Ÿ™‚ .
  • For further business expenses, trustworthy investors are needed.

Using the Safety Net

You’re looking at my safety net… My little broadcasting publishing business… I hope D.O.C.I.S. International is my gateway to useful contacts. In the end, I only care about my mission regarding societal change…

Haha I told you I’m a non-profit organization x_x.

The featured image is from Pixabay.

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Cold Case 7 [Monday, April 8, 2019]

01:27 (AM)

I love Mondays, because it’s a lot more quiet around, when people are at work ๐Ÿ™‚ . I hope I’ll be able to hand dr. Crutzen his contract today ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I’m working on the renewed contract, in my bed. Here is a sneak preview of the contract I wanted to offer him in 2017:

This was a previous attempt of me to free myself from psychiatric surveillance and intertwine our lives. (With no success…) The D.O.C.I.S. International contract is built up very differently and is written in English.

The personal side of my case is not part of the new contract. It’s separate and there is no geheimhouding (confidentiality agreement), because that has been fucked up ever since I was reported missing anyway.

That is why not long after I started losing my battle for true freedom more, I decided to make it more public than anything has ever been public.

The D.O.C.I.S. International Partnership Agreement (which consists of two parts), is all about getting influence in D.O.C.I.S. International’s strategy and becoming part of a new financial system.

The first agreement is about initiating the process of becoming intelectually and financially intertwined. The second one about sealing out partnership.

I hope you’re interested in signing it, too! In advance, you should know that certain criteria have to be met, before one can register as a candidate of my organization.

~~~

12:54 (PM)

Good afternoon ๐Ÿ™‚

Today is the first time I’ve had a non-self-made breakfast in a veryyy long time. The purest tasting yoghurt with granola I’ve ever eaten. Meoww I want to make my own recipe for thiss, with different and stronger spices.

Funny thing is that I’ll never get rid of the idea that people can be secretly putting drops of antipsychotics into my foods, as long as I’m in this country, which causes me to be so desperate for emigration. It’s one of the reasons why I find so much peace in cooking for the family alone.

Letting go of this life will not be easy, in the beginning. There are so many people I considered friends to grow old with.

But when I look at what I want to accomplish in life, my full determination, and the way they so firmly believe that the accomplishment of my dream is impossible, it’s overly clear that in reality, I’ve never had a chance for a future with those people.

My level of reasoning is dragged way down, every second of time I spend with them. The things they incentivize me to think of are always far too superficial. They’re so shallow that I get annoyed instantly.

Their weakness is so severe that “The world is impossible to improve” is considered a fact by them and me not believing in their fact, has been a reason for a collective of pessimistic people with no purpose in life, to diagnose me with schizophrenia.

I bet the way I’ve been stigmatized, brings them a lot of joy. Finally, a chance to not stand in the shadow of my intelligence, but to be considered someone who understands reality, “while I don’t”.

Another reason why I’ll feel relief in intercontinental distance (since California is still where I want to live until I have my own land), is because I then do not have to look my traitors in the eye anymore.

Everyone in my social circle acts nice to me, but from the way they formulate their sentences and the topics of conversation they use, I know that since I was reported missing in 2017, the greatest gossip scheme about me ever, has come to life. I can see it in their eyes. They’re not very good at acting genuine.

By going missing, I’ve, veryyy unfortunately, put my fate in their hands. They could freely decide whether to make me or break me. It’s easy to do to someone who aspires a public career. To say positive words about me, when I’m gone, or to lie and be overly negative, directly determines my public image, because my career had, back then, not officially started yet. (I still have not begun yet. I believe that it should start with a ceremony.)

It hurts me to know for over two years, that they would rather bring me down to make themselves look greater than I, than to just be genuinely supportive.

I would never be able to represent someone else in a tough period and then portray him or her like a bad person. To live with my loved ones having done that to me, on my conscious, is the reason why I have become so blood thirsty.

I must admit that I often make myself visualize myself taking their lives, because I find satisfaction in the idea of them not being able to prevent the world from becoming better, anymore. Bunch of frauds.

Using personal media to speak of someone negatively goes against my principles, but now that they have taught the world a lie about me, I have no other choice but to use my diary to expose them.

They are all very aware of that when my image is destroyed, I “have no option but to stay with them”, and I’ll have to live the proletarian life I’ve been complaining about, my entire existence.They smile when they start conversations about the way I’m living a hell of a life.

My theory is that ever since I was reported missing, they, as a collective, have broken so many laws together, that – even though it’s so overly clear that we’re not a good fit – they have decided to do everything in their power to make sure that I do not expose their secret.

Regardless of whether or not I’d actually enjoy being their indirect captive, they have their “unspoken” (only behind my back, of course (gross)) group pact they’ll have to stick to for the rest of their lives in this more than life size underwater trench of a country. And they must be making certain that I don’t find any hard evidence of this, because they know my sense of justice very well.

It really is too bad for them that the only way they’ll ever get a slight chance of doing something truly memorable, which future generations will know, is by being written down in my online diary. It saddens me that they have nothing more to offer. (Especially in my organization, there is nothing to do for them, because it will be far too complex for them.)

~~~

14:35 (02:35 PM)

I know I’ll seal and celebrate the parting, by spontaneously changing my number and deleting my Whatsapp account, without saying anything. I mean, “they don’t read my diary”, so it must be “surprising”.

Sadly, doing that will only be successful when I emigrate and dr. Crutzen signs my contract. If not today, then hopefully tomorrow.

I’m going to head to the gym now and then get to work on the contract and self-designed screening process ๐Ÿ™‚ .

~~~

17:42 (05:42 PM)

I’ve amped-up to 50 kgs ๐Ÿ™‚

And I used the treadmill instead of the cross trainer ๐Ÿ™‚

~~~

22:22 (10:22 PM)

Meoww I spent more time at the gym than I intended to, I had random inspiration for this note-to-self article and I spent more time on my bezwaarschrift (notice of objection) than I intended to.

I ended it with a nice and formal fuck you ๐Ÿ™‚ . I am not going to pay โ‚ฌ369 for “being too late” filing my taxes for 2016, while I reported my 2016 โ‚ฌ0 revenue on time. And I didn’t have an income tax job. Ben je nou godverdomme helemaal van de pot gerukt ๐Ÿ™‚ .

That image, again, shows a lott of transparencyyy. I have more of those gems in my diary ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Meowss I’m going to walk to the mailbox at the metro station to post this letter. The letter with the fine on it says that if the letter is not received by the 12th of April, my objection will not be taken into consideration.

Fucking disgusting tax system.

Tomorrow is my B’s favorite day (is that one of our inside jokesยฟ). I hope I’ll succeed in finishing our contract on time, but I’m tired ๐Ÿ™ . And I don’t know when to expect him x_x.

~~~

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Cold Case 6 [Sunday, April 7, 2019]

01:59 (AM)

What is safety, in this context?

Back-up in the cloud and on my laptop itself? Back-up on an external device? A back-up on paper? If the bank loses my files they’re in trouble. Back-up on a satellite? Back-up 10000 meters below sea level?

What is trust? [Het financieel systeem is zo lek als een mandje. Uiteindelijk klopt mijn boekhouding nog he… Hoeveel procent van de wereldbevolking is fraudeur?]

Oh boy, I need to be in the city center of Rotterdam at about 11 o’clock today. To cheer for my mother, because she’s going to run a marathon tomorrow.

My god please do not expect me to elaborate on that with sentimental wordsI’m busyyyy xxx

After cheering, I have a contract to adjustttt

“Case closed”?

I’m also fighting blood thirst. In case you were looking for ammo ๐Ÿ™‚ .

~~~

08:48 (AM)

Good morning ๐Ÿ™‚

I have not slept yet. I said “tomorrow”. That’s what I usually refer to, when I speak of coming events, before going to sleep.

A loss of 61,287.- Euros x_x. 1 Jan 14 – 5 Apr 19. The query shows dollar signs, but the actual amounts are in euros. My laptop considers me American haha. ( = Conscious antrophomorphism, not schizophrenia)

I want to sleep, but also feel like continuing the application I intend to build, and this contract…

~~~

10:16 (AM)

Running late as usual. I’m going to cycle to the event.

~~~

12:25 (PM)

Unfortunately

I

Was

Not

Able

To find my relatives

I’m going to wash my afro now xxx.

I hope to see Benoรฎt – sexy catje I hope to be calling daddyyy – soon. (Like tomorrow or something? I don’t like it when I’m prohibited from fixing something myself.)

Ik ben ook nog bij de Coolsingel geweest xd

Tension?

Handle disrespect with disrespect is the way to go

I saw my neighbor approaching her home, walking, as I approached my home, cycling.

I said “hi”

She did not respond.

I was quite stunned, because to me, it seemed like she noticed that I was there. Not that I was feeling like having a conversation, but jwt solidariteit. I’m tiredd.

I went inside to hang my coat, because I was dressed quite warm.

I went outside again, to put my bike in the shed

She asked me if my mother’s marathon went well.

I said “Vast wel” and went inside, zwiepte de deur dicht, met mijn vingers.

Doing everyday shit with Lil Fangs

Minus the sentimenttt

It’s fun ๐Ÿ˜€ .

~~~

14:43 (02:43 PM)

Nu ik die vervallen teringzooi in Rotterdam heb gezien ben ik gelijk weer helemaal van slag ๐Ÿ™ . (That sounds funny to me.)

Something very pressing about my life philosophy, is that I find that a new collective should take the lead, regarding the environmental decay of the Netherlands, the way nature could strike out of nowhere, and how just keep making the dykes higher is not solving the problem.

I hope to be able to figure out a way to emigrate (being a Dutch citizen is like having a financial ankle bracelet, shout out to the Belastingdienst [I’m sooooo pro tax reform]), after seeing my B.

I’m making a packing list, just in case ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Always sidewaysss

As I ponder and gaze at this tree, I think: “Is it always winter, below sea level?”

~~~

23:31 (11:31 PM)

If I’m correct, the week in which I finally get my life back to normal (I mean normal as in justice, having someone to talk to, finally getting a proper chance to get my business off the ground, et cetera), has begun ๐Ÿ™‚ .

I hope I’ll be able to be certain about this – but I’m unfortunately still subject to people who have authority over me, while they should not have this. Not only because I’m competent. More because I consider them unable to truly do what is right.

Especially after the 22 years of being taken for granted, being discriminated, being stigmatized, et cetera. My goddd I’d kill for the certainty to never see these people again.

I sooo hopeee I can move to any place where someone like me – someone who prefers silence over hearing superficial shit conversations and being in large hoards of people while inhaling big city car fumes – can live in peace.

Soo yess I’m just going to keep my side of the encounter short. I’ll offer him a new version of the contract I had composed for him in 2017. Other than that, I hope we can get to private brainstorming soon ๐Ÿ™‚ .

We’ll become One. That is what the contract does and that is what D.O.C.I.S. International means.

I just woke up from my long nap, after having gone a few days pulling all-nighters. Time for late night dinner and making this contracttt xxx

~~~

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Becoming member of D.O.C.I.S. International more efficient than Voting?ย 

Yes. That’s why, when you vote, you should put my (your own) name on that voting paper, and draw a check box in front of it. Then check that box. 

Check

De Verkiezing voor de Provinciale Staten en WATERSCHAPPEN. 20 Maart. Lil Fangs for Praesens. 

I’m doing thisssss. 

You know about it. 

Thanks, mate

The featured image is taken by Element5 Digital. 

A "U.S." style voting box, for a post about "Dutch" voting. Shouldn't those elections be broadcasted internationally as well? The sentiment that comes with "Human Rights". It's suitable. 
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D.O.C.I.S. International’s Business Overture

I’m going to do it!!! Potential investors will be approached!

For almost two years straight now, I have been developing the concept for the future of our existence, with D.O.C.I.S. International. This far, I’ve been working towards it, without any investors and/or professional support. It was a nice challenge for my talents, but it has been very exhausting. And without a proper budget, it won’t be possible for me to realize the goals of this Determined Observant Colloquial Intelligent Stratagem.

I consider my idea THE Golden Egg, which makes me a bit afraid that someone else would use it and claim creatorship. But transparency is one of my core values. I really want kind hearted people to join me on this journey, so I share everything with you. It’s important that you know what you’re getting yourself into! 😋

Here is my attempt for the growth of my non-profit publishing and charity brand. You’ll see why I speak of macroeconomics, when I speak of D.O.C.I.S. International.
Business Overture

The featured image is made by Samir Belhamra @Grafixart_Photo.

I chose this image, because it shows multiple forms of growth, just like D.O.C.I.S. International will do, and just like the Overture shows.
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A More Reader-Friendly Approach, Saying What’s Next

I don’t want you to miss out on pieces of writing that you might enjoy. The titles of my diary posts don’t reveal its content. There’s an extensive range of types of content in (almost) every day, but the excerpt of its first 40 words does not reveal that at all!!

The focus was on the moment the text is written, instead of on what the text is about. A lot of passages of my diary could have been published as separate articles. It’s cool that I now have a written memory of part of my real-life experience, to reflect on, when I’m old, grey and successful. But after this impulsive realization, and the thoughts that went out to those who keep up with my blog, I quit adding new posts to the already high stack of diary posts immediately. So, from now on – especially because there’s quite a lot to read here – things on here will be categorized differently.

Instead of sharing real-time thoughts with you, I want to share more theoretical details of the process of establishing D.O.C.I.S. International (what is visible on its website is not the full business concept), far more open to different inputs. We’re starting off with The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money, by John Maynard Keynes ๐Ÿ™‚ .

Writing a post about my interpretation of the theories of Keynes doesn’t go as fast as writing a diary post. That’s why it seems like I’m falling silent, while in actuality, we’ll be scrutinizing the economists words (e.a.) and I’ll translate it to what I want to do with D.O.C.I.S. International. I’m using “old school” theories, published decades ago, to base my theories on, because, even though the doctrines might be replaced by something more modern, they’ve still played a huge role in shaping this world. The posts that are coming up next will show how it all sticks together (literally and figuratively)! ๐Ÿ™‚

In short, the way I’ll tackle things is by separating posts about theories, strategies and feelings, instead of putting them all in one diary post. The theoretical posts (or its spin-offs about my philosophy) will be released at least once a week. Things about strategy will be released whenever one is pushed through. And my feelings I’ll only share in Ex Animo poems from now on, leaving out the details of those involved and their actions. 

Aside from the Project Nosce Te Ipsum page I’m also working on (it’s currently a visible draft), I’m going to stop with uploading drafts and then editing them online until they’re done (or never touch it again). I find it cool that I’ve showed how I work and that I do everything by myself, but not everyone might understand my process, or even wants to see it. So I’m going to act more like a regular blogger. I’m all about comfortable (and exciting) reading!!! And SEO and stuff… I’m also going to pay more attention to the SEO of my posts. My diary posts and drafts weren’t optimized at all, because they weren’t really showpieces of what I’m capable of.

In case the term SEO is new to you: SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization. It’s there to make sure a website and its content are well-indexed by search engines.

The coming few days, I’ll finish up the state of my websites, so that it will perfectly suit my (impulsive, but much better) approach for what I want to achieve. Simultaneously, I hope to find my source for a regular income – still on that job hunt – and to legally settle the painful issue with my family once and for all.

I hope you’ll love my new approach! (I hope that more people will regularly read my blog, because of this.) Please, sign up for the newsletter, so that I can engage you in my process more ๐Ÿ™‚ โ™ฅ .

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