Meoww yess so I’m now going to add the final layer of fun complexity to the “I developed a major crush on someone who might turn out to be my actual biological father, who has also been the motive for other people, to diagnose me with schizophrenia” story that is part of my cold case: he (dr. Crutzen) has always been able to hear me reason, and as I matured (forgetting parts of my childhood), and he mentally identifies himself through my reasoning (just like many other people), he might have forgotten that he is my father, and had grown accustomed to the title of sexy mysterious Graeyniss I consider him to be, in my mind. Or he just didn’t know how to tell me his secret, and can’t deny mutual attraction. Either way: my roots are a mystery and I want to find a way to have dr. Crutzen in my life for the rest of my life, from our coming encounter onwards. (It would make the U.S.H.R. look much more credible, too.)
More about this, after I have slept some. Meoww I just finished eating some late night sweetness:
Goood night xxx
18:33 (06:33 PM)
I’ll keep “cold casing” until the encounter takes place… It’s a bit like groping in the dark, because for some reason, because I’ve been told to stop seeking direct contact – do not exactly understand why, but that encounter could make that clear – and thus I have put my faith and fate in the hands of my mother, who has become my middle woman in this. She decides when it takes place. She must have her questions, too, for the both of us. Since she initiated the entire case.
So the great question on my own mind is what approach should I use to become best friends ever with him…? We were speaking of doing a research project together, the last time I spoke to him, before that nonsense case was started. I guess I’ll make a new proposal for that, and stir in D.O.C.I.S. International and the U.S.H.R..
It’s too bad that I have no clue how long I’ll wait for this. I guess I should start to apply for jobs to serve drinks somewhere. (But in actuality, I really don’t want to… I want a job where scripted social interaction is kept to a minimum and I have the most self-authority possible… I don’t know where to find that, for my level of education xd. (I don’t have any useful diplomas in that range of fields (functies als leidinggevende).)
That’s what I’ll work on, after working out. I’m heading to the gym xxx
00:18 (12:18 AM)
Late night bookkeeping horaaaay.
I’m home aloneee
I’ll talk to you laterr xxx