I love Mondays, because it’s a lot more quiet around, when people are at work 🙂 . I hope I’ll be able to hand dr. Crutzen his contract today 🙂 .
I’m working on the renewed contract, in my bed. Here is a sneak preview of the contract I wanted to offer him in 2017:
This was a previous attempt of me to free myself from psychiatric surveillance and intertwine our lives. (With no success…) The D.O.C.I.S. International contract is built up very differently and is written in English.
The personal side of my case is not part of the new contract. It’s separate and there is no geheimhouding (confidentiality agreement), because that has been fucked up ever since I was reported missing anyway.
That is why not long after I started losing my battle for true freedom more, I decided to make it more public than anything has ever been public.
The D.O.C.I.S. International Partnership Agreement (which consists of two parts), is all about getting influence in D.O.C.I.S. International’s strategy and becoming part of a new financial system.
The first agreement is about initiating the process of becoming intelectually and financially intertwined. The second one about sealing out partnership.
I hope you’re interested in signing it, too! In advance, you should know that certain criteria have to be met, before one can register as a candidate of my organization.
Good afternoon 🙂
Today is the first time I’ve had a non-self-made breakfast in a veryyy long time. The purest tasting yoghurt with granola I’ve ever eaten. Meoww I want to make my own recipe for thiss, with different and stronger spices.
Funny thing is that I’ll never get rid of the idea that people can be secretly putting drops of antipsychotics into my foods, as long as I’m in this country, which causes me to be so desperate for emigration. It’s one of the reasons why I find so much peace in cooking for the family alone.
Letting go of this life will not be easy, in the beginning. There are so many people I considered friends to grow old with.
But when I look at what I want to accomplish in life, my full determination, and the way they so firmly believe that the accomplishment of my dream is impossible, it’s overly clear that in reality, I’ve never had a chance for a future with those people.
My level of reasoning is dragged way down, every second of time I spend with them. The things they incentivize me to think of are always far too superficial. They’re so shallow that I get annoyed instantly.
Their weakness is so severe that “The world is impossible to improve” is considered a fact by them and me not believing in their fact, has been a reason for a collective of pessimistic people with no purpose in life, to diagnose me with schizophrenia.
I bet the way I’ve been stigmatized, brings them a lot of joy. Finally, a chance to not stand in the shadow of my intelligence, but to be considered someone who understands reality, “while I don’t”.
Another reason why I’ll feel relief in intercontinental distance (since California is still where I want to live until I have my own land), is because I then do not have to look my traitors in the eye anymore.
Everyone in my social circle acts nice to me, but from the way they formulate their sentences and the topics of conversation they use, I know that since I was reported missing in 2017, the greatest gossip scheme about me ever, has come to life. I can see it in their eyes. They’re not very good at acting genuine.
By going missing, I’ve, veryyy unfortunately, put my fate in their hands. They could freely decide whether to make me or break me. It’s easy to do to someone who aspires a public career. To say positive words about me, when I’m gone, or to lie and be overly negative, directly determines my public image, because my career had, back then, not officially started yet. (I still have not begun yet. I believe that it should start with a ceremony.)
It hurts me to know for over two years, that they would rather bring me down to make themselves look greater than I, than to just be genuinely supportive.
I would never be able to represent someone else in a tough period and then portray him or her like a bad person. To live with my loved ones having done that to me, on my conscious, is the reason why I have become so blood thirsty.
I must admit that I often make myself visualize myself taking their lives, because I find satisfaction in the idea of them not being able to prevent the world from becoming better, anymore. Bunch of frauds.
Using personal media to speak of someone negatively goes against my principles, but now that they have taught the world a lie about me, I have no other choice but to use my diary to expose them.
They are all very aware of that when my image is destroyed, I “have no option but to stay with them”, and I’ll have to live the proletarian life I’ve been complaining about, my entire existence.They smile when they start conversations about the way I’m living a hell of a life.
My theory is that ever since I was reported missing, they, as a collective, have broken so many laws together, that – even though it’s so overly clear that we’re not a good fit – they have decided to do everything in their power to make sure that I do not expose their secret.
Regardless of whether or not I’d actually enjoy being their indirect captive, they have their “unspoken” (only behind my back, of course (gross)) group pact they’ll have to stick to for the rest of their lives in this more than life size underwater trench of a country. And they must be making certain that I don’t find any hard evidence of this, because they know my sense of justice very well.
It really is too bad for them that the only way they’ll ever get a slight chance of doing something truly memorable, which future generations will know, is by being written down in my online diary. It saddens me that they have nothing more to offer. (Especially in my organization, there is nothing to do for them, because it will be far too complex for them.)
14:35 (02:35 PM)
I know I’ll seal and celebrate the parting, by spontaneously changing my number and deleting my Whatsapp account, without saying anything. I mean, “they don’t read my diary”, so it must be “surprising”.
Sadly, doing that will only be successful when I emigrate and dr. Crutzen signs my contract. If not today, then hopefully tomorrow.
I’m going to head to the gym now and then get to work on the contract and self-designed screening process 🙂 .
17:42 (05:42 PM)
I’ve amped-up to 50 kgs 🙂
22:22 (10:22 PM)
Meoww I spent more time at the gym than I intended to, I had random inspiration for this note-to-self article and I spent more time on my bezwaarschrift (notice of objection) than I intended to.
That image, again, shows a lott of transparencyyy. I have more of those gems in my diary 🙂 .
Meowss I’m going to walk to the mailbox at the metro station to post this letter. The letter with the fine on it says that if the letter is not received by the 12th of April, my objection will not be taken into consideration.
Fucking disgusting tax system.
Tomorrow is my B’s favorite day (is that one of our inside jokes¿). I hope I’ll succeed in finishing our contract on time, but I’m tired 🙁 . And I don’t know when to expect him x_x.