11:28 (AM)
Good morning β₯
I don’t know why I can’t reach my Vicje π . My heart is too weak to approach a random proletarian for this, who won’t understand how much of a sensitive topic this is, and how much bad news would destroy my heart. Some people speak of him in such an awful manner, I won’t be able to endure something like that again π .
I attempted to email him this [a very random message, I know], when I received a “failed to deliver” notice in return…:

Dezelfde fout maken is terug naar huis gaan. Mijn moeder en huisarts vinden dit een goede plek voor mij… Grrrrr…

Catje

Mijn intuΓ―tie vertelt me altijd met wie ik dat wel zou willen doen en met wie niet

Get me out of here, please π . I apparently still have arbeidsrecht. Apparently even arbeidsdwang, omdat ik alleen als normaal mens word gezien als ik full-time werk en studeer.

The description of the littest hangout in human history

Wild words

I don’t even know if it’s mutual π
I don’t know what to do now π . I’m so worried… Though I haven’t been that close with him (yet?)… π Maybe he doesn’t like me and has blocked my e-maik address? π I’d rather hear that than hear that he has passed away or something
I’m now also stuck in the dilemma that I have to find residence and a fixed income, preferably before tomorrow, because after today they will put me under treatment at the department I was in in 2017-2018 [hell] and force me to go back to my parents’ house.
I asked the psychiatrist yesterday why they can’t treat me without medicines. He told me that medicines are going to put my mind on the right track, “so that I can go back into society” [because I am out of it?]. I had already explained to him that the reason why my business hasn’t thrived yet, is because I don’t have any investors. That the reason why I’m currently not studying, is because I don’t have Β£6000+ for tuition. That the reason why I don’t have a full time job, is because most jobs are too simple for my intelligence. And that swallowing some pill won’t change that. My self-analysis was, again, fully disregarded.

What I wrote after the conversation where I proposed my self-analysis idea

My alternative strategy is – again – working full-time, so that I won’t have time for living under psychiatric surveillance. I’m on the list for the ANWB Summer staff, so that’s where the e-mail came from…
Yesterday’s Twitter highlights:
Ik vraag me trouwens af wanneer de klimaatdiscussie over de fysieke aspecten van klimaatverandering zal gaan, in plaats van over geld. Het maakt niet uit hoeveel het kost, want geld heeft geen waarde meer, wanneer je woonkamer onder water staat… x_x
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
Ik zei “Gewoon het eenpartijstelsel invoeren” in die live conferentie, en mijn reactie werd niet geplaatst :(. Het is maar een suggestie… #DOCIS
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
Een ander logistiek probleem is de psychiaters die hun diagnose schizofrenie accepteren en mij als hun mascotte willen #Fangyism #DOCIS #FangyFacts
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
Naja als ik word gezien als iemand die niet in de maatschappij kan meedraaien, omdat ik geen proletensymptomen vertoon, dan moet ik mijn baas maar een mailtje sturen… Ik ben wel echt super gek. Maar gekken aannemen mag?
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
I want to look a bit smooth, in case I’d see this Vicje, so I’m twisting… pic.twitter.com/OgPSUjeiON
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
Then a Graeyniss is someone perceives my reality through his/her Mind’s Eye, and a Cuddle is someone capable of understanding my expressions (exegesis), who identifies him/herself with the way I express myself. Love y’all #Fangyism #Fangyists #FangyFacts #DOCIS
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
Progresss… pic.twitter.com/3fbcCOIrtk
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
Nu ik toch voor de zoveelste keer voor gek ben uitgemaakt, kan ik toch allemaal gekke dingen zeggen . Die eigenlijk waar zijn maar die non-Graeyniss non-Cuddles can’t understand #NoPlanetFangAccesForNonFangyists
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
π Votre gouvernement bloque-t-il les sites Web radicaux?
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
My Vicje π
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
If I’d cry and scream right now, they’d try to mentally shrink me again and force me to take bullshit medication :(. I’m trying very hard to not lose it :(.
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 29, 2019
I can’t imagine my future without the handsomest Graeyniss I have ever seen!
I’m done braiding my hair and will attempt to get some rest . How the fuck am I going to leave this shit (schizophrenia and the situation at home) behind me forever? Please bail me out (it’s free) #DOCIS #Fangyism
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
When it comes to getting out of here, this place is the same as a prison π .
How can I get out of here, without going back to my parents’ house, where I can be sent back here whenever my mother feels like it :(.
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
Help me bitte
I’ll show you my hair – best braids I’ve ever made for myself – when I’ve eaten and showered. I’m still in bed… π
~~~
12:58 (PM)
Important announcement:
I need to lake because I saw a picture of my Vicje, but a nurse can walk into my cell at any time… Please give me 30 minutes… #FangyStruggles #Fangyism
β Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
My weakness… 😻 I’m still worried and feel quite powerless in this situation. I also don’t know who else can save me from this prison…
~~~
16:40 (04:40 PM)

Mijn gezichtsuitdrukking zegt “tjoerie” ahahahhaahaha. Ik hoor hier niet thuis verdomme ahahahah.

A tail in case the situation becomes even worse…

Getting some vitamin D… I’d rather get some vitamin Vicje…

Before I went into the shower

This is serious…
I’ll be writing… Er is hier echt niets te doen x_x.
Prison is clearly a metaphor and not fucking schizophrenia. I need to defend every statement I make x_x.
~~~
17:37 (05:37 PM)Β
Important information:
Welke kleine dingen maken je blij? β Mensen die regelmatig mijn blog lezen, mijn schrijven als literatuur zien en de achterliggende boodschap begrijpen https://t.co/V5QnVvymC6
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
Shaking up Dutch Freemasonry
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
Een opstand van C…O'S & directeuren enzo, politici, ambitieuze studenten en overqualified intelligent people, zou echt leuk zijn… #DOCIS #Fangyism @thierrybaudet @realDonaldTrump @MinPres
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
My next "station" has to be someone I can talk business with. I'm sooooo fucking done with all of this superficial nonsense! #Fangyism #DOCIS
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
I want to cuddle my sexy Vicje – I hope the reason why my mail wasn’t delivered, was because of its radical content… If he has a new job, then I heb niets te zoeken bij de ANWB (lol). If he is not with us anymore, then I’d spend all eternity not knowing if the feeling is mutual and feeling fucked up because I couldn’t be there for him…
This would also be a good moment for my B to go on strike….
~~~
21:09 (09:09 PM)
I’m in bed… Exhausted π . (Could that be because the food is cooked in psychiatric drugs?)
I hope someone will free me from here and offer me shelter… π I really don’t want to talk to these “health care professionals” anymore. All they do is tell me to quit chasing my dreams…
Authority problem:
Honden worden op dezelfde manier behandeld.
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
This is not good for my heart π . Spending time with me is a privilege and this industry just claims it. The same goes for my parents. I want to be free π . Truly free!
I’m glad to have found ways to get through the day:
Entertainment pic.twitter.com/RIN47MQqTE
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
More entertainment π pic.twitter.com/LvMUOOAraG
— Lil Fangs (@LilFangs_) May 30, 2019
I hope they won’t mind that I posted that picture… I just find it important that the world knows what’s going on here. And I needed some time away from my mother, who, every conversation, tells me that this is what I need.
I want to spend time with people who I can trust, who won’t think of sending me to a place like this. Fucking often π .
I really hope someone will bail me out 😿 . Please don’t let my mind be shrinked further π .
I’ll be laking until I pass out. Still hungry, by the way, but I prefer eating natural foods, so I’ll just ignore the sound of my stomach… Maybe eat some almonds…
Good night ♥
– xxx –