The previous manifest was a declaration of policy. The December Manifest describes my present aim and is, to you, a direct call-to-action. December is here and I have some wildly serious plans for us. Choose what to indulge in. I’m giving you an outline. The outline of the outline is that you are a Fangyist, look out for your fellow Graeynissis and turn your life around right now. This month will make 2019 matter the most, if you let me. Read closely.

My love,

Holiday Season 😖

It is the last month of the year and there are too many “jolly holidays” this month, so look out for one another, please. I am 23 and I’m already very sick and tired of the repetitiousness in our years, so I can’t imagine what older conscious individuals feel like. This December Manifest is here to make sure that we to disconnect from the social doctrine we have been chiselled into following blindly.

Repeat after me:

Time is not important, because the mission is eternal.

Regardless if it’s December or August, society needs change. To our personal selves, it does not matter what day it is, because for us as pioneers our paths are separate from the annual cycle. We are not doing this to impress anyone.

To be a solo undiscovered pioneer, or a solo pioneer in the spotlight, can be very lonely. Especially when the rest of society suddenly feels like acting as if all is love, just because it’s December. To us it’s always love, to them it is seasonal. Together, we are aware of that. But we do not live as a close(d) community (yet). (I’m getting to that in the next section.)

We are unique lights among large groups of people. There’s no one like us in those groups. That is why we are lonely. But you may recognize your fellow Graeynissis. Especially now, keep an eye out for them, because the feeling of loneliness can increase in this month where the display of fake love increases. (It is worse than Valentine’s day x_x.)

I am not losing any Graeynissis this month (or any other month)!

Meanwhile I will, of course, be fighting the worst feelings of loneliness as well myself… I have no friends or lover(s). And it’s getting too cold to sleep in only my panties by myself. 🙁

How to make Christmas come early and last Forever

I’m starting to see it. I’ve mentioned (my wish of) us being together plenty of times. And then I mention reasons why I think it’s not happening and thus why it can’t happen. But now I see the main reason. Ah rephrase: now I think I see the main reason.

All this time my main focus was on connecting on a mental level and tackling the great problems of our time. With that fully disregarding that I am very attracted to you and you are very attracted to me. Even though that would be very visible in real life. Not only to us, but to the outside world as well.

But all this time, I thought societal objective > attraction, while – whether that is preferred or not – while it is attraction > objective. If I can make someone get an orgasm without being anywhere near that person, then no matter how hard we try, attraction will weigh heavier than the greater objective. Which is all good. Not only because we must feel this attraction connection for a reason. It’s not like people outside our Fangyist circle would focus on changing society rather than indulging in pleasure.

I’m indirectly saying that if I’d for example explain my three-step bulletproof plan for international reform to you in person, my appearance and your memories of the orgasms I’ve given you might distract you.

I just called you a Fangyist. You are a Fangyist. Recently, I’ve given it this as its short definition: “Putting original natural balance, purpose and intelligence first.” It refers to how I’ve, for example, stated that the waterworks are one of the things that have put nature out of balance – extremely polluted land that is supposed to be empty sea. Purpose comes from using your talents as the basis for your occupation instead of your diploma(s). Then the idea of intelligence and political stance defining to what community someone belongs to. With that, for Fangyism is a political movement and doctrine, you trust me as your absolute policy maker. You are free to share your perspective and will be frequently asked for your personal preference, but in the overall policy, I have the final say. If you agree, your a Fangyist.

I’ve been expressing Fangyism in a objective > attraction way, though in my mind it has been living more as an attraction > objective context. We’ll get both done either way, though. And for we are the most intelligent, no one else will. Before I continue with my fantasy, I need to further explain why I think we are not together (yet).


So I have mentioned that perhaps because of my age, color or internet presence, you may be judged for expressing your interest in me, which will make your experience of your daily life less comfortable, and that’s why you’re gazing at me from the shadows, instead of gazing at me in person. This is in the situation where you either say that you’re 100% attracted to me or 100% think like me.

But it is more serious than that. Because – unlike life for many – we have both a very strong mental and physical connection. As in we could live together free of ever fighting. You may know while we might not have even met. If you would be 100% open about me – including the multiple times a day that I cross your mind – people will become jealous. You speak of me like I’m a Goddess, getting sparkles in your eyes every time you mention my name. They want to be that person to you, and will try to talk me out of your head.

I know, because people do the exact same when I speak of you. If we would be together, you risk being shunned. On top of that, professionally, you might lose everything you have ever worked for. Because the objective and the attraction are one. That is a taboo. As a Fangyist, I must – sorry – say that none of that present professional stuff will matter in the future anyway, for life will have changed so much that the old system (is thus actually the present system) already has no value anymore. And it might be a taboo to those brainless sheep, but our objective and attraction are actually the most powerful connection ever. We don’t like those people anyway, so in actuality, life would be the happiest experience to us and we’d be winning more than we ever have… Writing history for sure, because I’ll log it myself and pass it on to the next generation. A history book in which every Fangyist has its own chapter, and every new Fangyist adds his or her own chapter, and then we Fangyists go on like that for generations.

Fangyist Fantasy

So I’m the Queen of all Fangyists and I have my own parliament. We are a highly functional “business government”. I lay out a policy (overall or for a specific aspect of the government (still working on it… opens in new tab)), the council head of that department gives me professional advice about it, then we survey it for all our Fangyists and the policy gets carried out. Getting to know our Fangyists is very important in this one, which is why I, as queen, want to meet all Fangyists in the entire Fangyist hierarchy. Kiss my hands when I greet you. (You may kiss my feet as well, if you like.) Et cetera? I have controversial thoughts about governmental orgies, but as long as our genitals et cetera stay healthy, and the amount of people is fixed and limited, it sounds cool to me.

If you are aroused the moment I meet you – I’m talking about the present reality now – do not worry. Yes, I will notice it. But the first hour or so I will not mention it, because I need to map your personality first so that I know how to speak to you. After that, I will voice that I notice that you are aroused by my presence, in a way that is not uncomfortable to you (know that it is not uncomfortable to me (I’m sooo used to it)). Because I find it important that with me you express yourself 100%. And not 99% because we are taught to be secretive about sex related thoughts.

We are not yet living as a close(d) community. The next section of this December Manifest gives you options how to make this reality.

Manifesting Options

The levels to this December Manifest indicate how much your life changes. “Level 1” for minor change, “Level 3” for complete change. I want to complete the outline of this, but it’s 04:45 and I want to be rested in case I’m woken up early for the potential delivery of my brain steroids (lol), so I’ll be brief.

Level 1: A Description

The minor change option is something I can only describe and not define, because this is an option of minor change and every life is unique. December Manifest Level 1 is that we can be together online, while you are untracably anonymous. This should be co-facilitated by some who choose Level 2 or Level 3 who are better with computers than I. Online togetherness could still shift into real-life togetherness, if we, while you participate in Fangyist surveys (important part of Fangyist politics, they’re basically referenda), constitute Planet Fang (this is non-fiction. Planet Fang is the draft name for our island (or any type of land meow we can talk about this)).

Level 2: A Memory

Like an international book club meeting, there’s a one-day (or multiple-day event) where we create fun memories and you can take pictures with me. 🙂 After that you can also join the anonymous online yays. But mind you that your social life may change after this, though you will be offered plenty of opportunities to make Fangyist friends (who live near you so it’s easier to Volta later). With the emphasis on “like” a book club meeting, because my book club had 0 members so that was a complete waste of energy. It’s embarrassing having that site, but a waste of effort to take it down.

Level 3: A Volta

Out yourself as a Fangyist and celebrate Christmas and New Year’s with me. There is no way back after that, and that is great, because together we have enough savings and brainpower to create a community of our own and make that last forever. It will be better than anything that has ever existed. Let’s start a new life together.

To manifest this manifest, I will respond to your outing and we’ll get the ball rolling. (There is no benefit for me in not responding to your outing, because you’re all I want in life, so know that I have your back. I can’t stand non-Graeynissis.) We are together, doing things queen and parliament style. Then we organize the event and start logging who is a Fangyist. After that, we can decide the location and size of Planet Fang, et cetera… (Non-fiction!!!) I’ve started this crazy blog, live in Belgium by myself, friendless, and posted suggestive nudes of myself. Now it’s your turn. 🙂

To make this process easier, I’d like to ask you to donate to me (opens in new tab).

Random Thoughts


Camillus is doing fine. I am glad that he is still with us and that we have things to live forward to. His religious thought is unlike I have ever seen or heard before. That is why I’m glad that in 2020 we will write something together. 🙂

That Tweet

I posted a tweet recently, and then thought of how doing social media is a job and something that people take more seriously than not spending all free time watching series and films (that’s not my fault), so I really feel that I should add this:

Dat heeft hij niet gezegd ofzo. Het is een conclusie die ik getrokken heb. Omdat ik het besef kreeg dat ook hij uiteindelijk orders opvolgt. En omdat ik geloof dat ware verandering begint bij burgerinitiatief, maar men zelden initiatief neemt. (En in mijn optiek telt een boom planten niet echt…) Wat hij wel heeft gezegd is dat hij veel waarde hecht aan tijd doorbrengen met zijn familie, waardoor het (nurture) proletarische idee dat mensen met (“wettelijke”) invloed (ik probeer non-influencer influencers te zeggen snapje) geen gevoelsleven hebben, verdween. Ik schaam me dat ik ooit van zoiets overtuigd ben geweest. 🙁 (Het was ook echt zichtbaar in mijn oude posts enzo. Nee het eten in de kantine moet niet gratis zijn, anders krijg je van die immorele taferelen die je ziet in all-inclusive hotels. 🙁 )

Now a selection of sentences will follow. The last sentence, I have written myself. Through the day I might add to this post. If I do, I’ll tweet it first (instead of using another push notification).

Example Sentences

~ Calm

Calm, she was able to focus. [I’m always calm.]

He already felt the loss of her calm energy, but he had no idea what to do about it.

There were still 7 minutes remaining and everyone needed to remain calm.

His voice was calm and deliberate.

The night was calm and fresh.

He simply continued to speak in a calm voice.

I felt proud to know that the liberties of Massachusetts and of our fatherland were in such safe keeping; and as I turned to my hoeing again I was filled with an inexpressible confidence, and pursued my labor cheerfully with a calm trust in the future.

He appeared calm and in control again, if not relaxed, with the only three men he’d ever trusted.

She left, stopping in the shadow world to try to calm herself.

“You’re gonna have to fix me,” he said, as calm as she was not.

The man with the star regarded her with his calm, expressionless eyes.

His voice was so calm that she wasn’t sure she had heard him right.

He was not a very large man, but was well formed and had a beautiful face–calm and serene as the face of a fine portrait.

The sultriness was present, along with the calm steadiness of her blue gaze.

How could he be so calm about it?

Deidre held his gaze, heart quick but calm in her decision.

His gaze was calm and intense, and she flushed beneath his scrutiny.

I get off on killing you idiots, she said in the same calm voice she used with Jonny. [Es a sexy sentence.]

The calm spread through her again.

Jule sensed a great deal of turmoil behind his calm features and pitied the man.

His cold gaze was calm and steady, his long fangs resting on his lower lip.

“Our agreement was for helping you clean house,” she reminded him in a calm purr.

Pierre felt it strange to see this calm, indifferent crowd of people unaware of what was going on in his soul.

It flowed between them: balanced, calm, powerful.

He did not know that Natasha’s soul was overflowing with despair, shame, and humiliation, and that it was not her fault that her face happened to assume an expression of calm dignity and severity.

The sense of peace and calm at his core returned as her energy flowed through him.

He was in a state of suppressed excitement and irritation, though controlledly calm as a man is at the approach of a long-awaited moment.

His golden eyes were calm, his large frame relaxed with the feline grace that made her hormones wild.

Now, the calm male’s voice ordered.

Her large blue-green eyes were clear and calm, the curves of her slender frame complemented by the cut and drape of the dress.

“Oh, so that is Vereshchagin!” said Pierre, looking at the firm, calm face of the old man and seeking any indication of his being a traitor.

“Yes, and the assailant too,” I shook his hand and tried to calm my voice so I didn’t sound like stammering fool, “He’s a serial killer.

His usually calm face showed excitement.

I know that no better man than he exists, and I am calm and contented now.

His calm voice assured her he wasn’t going to pass judgment on her gift.

Pierre was always astonished at Prince Andrew’s calm manner of treating everybody, his extraordinary memory, his extensive reading (he had read everything, knew everything, and had an opinion about everything), but above all at his capacity for work and study.

As much as she hated herself for feeling it, she needed his touch to calm her.

Next day he woke calm and cheerful.

Her face was calm, gentle, and happy.

How beautiful the sky looked; how blue, how calm, and how deep!

Her features were more defined and had a calm, soft, and serene expression.

It was calm, and at intervals the bugle calls and the shouts of the enemy could be heard from the hill.

The air around her shimmered with subtle, calm power that thrilled him.

His face wore a calm look of piety and resignation to the will of God.

He again recalled all the details of the victory and his own calm courage during the battle, and feeling reassured he dozed off….

Officers who approached him with disturbed countenances became calm; soldiers and officers greeted him gaily, grew more cheerful in his presence, and were evidently anxious to display their courage before him.

The princess’ beautiful eyes with all their former calm radiance were looking with tender affection and pity at Mademoiselle Bourienne’s pretty face.

But just at moments when such thoughts occurred to him, he would ask in a particularly calm and absent-minded way, which inspired the respect of the onlookers, Will it be long?

In his words, his tone, and especially in that calm, almost antagonistic look could be felt an estrangement from everything belonging to this world, terrible in one who is alive.

Thanks to my wife’s calm and nurturing manner the balance of the morning passed peacefully.

I resolved to remain calm for her sake and talked of nothing but positive certainty of our escape.

At this everyone in the Throne Room suddenly became quiet, and the kitten continued, in a calm, mocking tone of voice:

Natasha could not remain calm, seeing him in such a plight.

He paused and sighed, evidently trying to calm himself.

Natasha was calm, though a severe and grave expression had again settled on her face.

I managed to calm myself enough to relate what little I knew of what happened to the people with whom we’d both worked so closely.

“Okay,” she said, startled by his calm statement.

The look of his eyes was resolute, calm, and animatedly alert, as never before.

“Now, you have a choice to make,” the devil said with a calm smile.

He scared her, and she touched him instinctively, wanting his cool energy to help calm her emotions.

With her imperturbable calm she did not begin to speak in front of the valet.

I was, for a reason known to God alone, much more calm than the situation dictated.

~ View

You have a nice view from your apartment.

He came into view and moved around the punching bag.

In his view the earth is all equally cultivated like a garden.

Wait a bit, I have something in view for you this evening.

“Really I don’t care about that, I don’t care at all,” said Prince Andrew, beginning to understand that his news of the battle before Krems was really of small importance in view of such events as the fall of Austria’s capital.

Deities view the world differently?

She stopped within full view of Jetr and waited, not wanting to draw the attention of the entire Council to her.

You tear me away from the only stability I have in my life, expect me to change my view on the entire world overnight, reject me and now, you’re asking me to take a chance on something you can’t guarantee. [Yes, absolutely(!). 🙂 ♥ ]

Maybe it was merely love that made her view him that way, but considering all the second and third glances he got from other women, she doubted it. [Cishe pls? 🙁 ]

All very well perhaps from his point of view, but only a little better than the common dilettantism. [This dilettantism is temporary, I firmly believe. (Haha get it (now)?) ]

Why would I want to see more of the same thing I view from this wagon seat all day?

I’ll record the facts from my personal point of view, and my observation.

Your view of life is a regrettable delusion.

He clasped his hands behind his head, giving her an unobstructed view of his body.

She stepped into his view, and he dropped his arms, throwing back his head to suck in deep breaths.

Many of the detached incidents and facts of our daily life pass around and over her unobserved; but she has enough detailed acquaintance with the world to keep her view of it from being essentially defective.

He had a feeling Kisolm, the crown prince of Qatwal, would not even hear him out but would view his attempt to barter peace as a sign of weakness and keep him as a trophy.

The view from the top was spectacular, the snow perfect and the trail empty of other skiers.

Though the view from my door was still more contracted, I did not feel crowded or confined in the least.

He looked her over, enjoying the view, and rested his hand on her warm stomach.

I can see her in my rear view mirror, just sitting there, plotting a way they can escape.

Whether you are for the organic food movement or against it, for genetically modified crops or against them, for corporate farms or seed banks or raw food or anything else, is influenced significantly by your larger view of politics. [What a sentence. ♥ ]

It was his view that “the attainment of human rights in the fullest sense cannot be achieved so long as hundreds of millions of poverty-stricken people lack the basic necessities for life.”

No matter your view of history and cosmology, civilization is very young. [Especially the “digitalized” one, damn. Yet still people are all “all-seeing” and “looking into the future with it”-ish about it.]

They view individual liberty as a threat, new political ideas as subversion, and political opposition as treason.

They view the opposition by others to the actions of their country as treason, or at least, inexplicably self-destructive.

If her companion does not give her enough details, Miss Keller asks questions until she has completed the view to her satisfaction.

True, her view of life is highly coloured and full of poetic exaggeration; the universe, as she sees it, is no doubt a little better than it really is.

It is true, on the other hand, that in her descriptions, she is best from the point of view of art when she is faithful to her own sensations; and this is precisely true of all artists.

I one evening overtook one of my townsmen, who has accumulated what is called “a handsome property”–though I never got a fair view of it–on the Walden road, driving a pair of cattle to market, who inquired of me how I could bring my mind to give up so many of the comforts of life.

The only person who didn’t view her as a sitter or maid was Yancey, and his viewpoint was as a lover.

Finally she released him and leaned back to view his reaction.

Mrs. C. came to the door and asked me to view it from the inside.

I have my horizon bounded by woods all to myself; a distant view of the railroad where it touches the pond on the one hand, and of the fence which skirts the woodland road on the other.

Jonny had been drawn to the view as she was and stood before the window.

But let’s adopt the cynic’s view for a moment and assume people in these corporations are chiefly concerned about their financial benefit, not about human suffering, when it comes to war.

There’s a great view up here but it’s hazy.

Her car was in full view.

He scraped sand over the scorpion, burying it from her view.

The lights of Washington finally came into view.

The Black God doesn’t share our view.

Isn’t this an awesome view?

He watched explosions wrack his planet until they rose high enough that the toxic dust storm he’d started marred the surface of the planet from view.

However, in view of the Shipton couple’s unconventional estrangement, he wasn’t sure what words might be appropriate.

I don’t know about forever, but you’d be hard pressed to find a better view.


~ Occasion

He was excited to see her dressed up for the occasion.

meow He would often say the exact opposite of what he had said on a previous occasion, yet both would be right. [Same. Lol for readability reasons I had to add meow to the start of that sentence. Because of 3x “He”.]

(He was well acquainted with the senator, but thought it necessary on this occasion to address him formally.)

“I even brought this to record the occasion,” she said, tucking it into her pack.

As I live, saith the Lord God, ye shall not have occasion any more to use this proverb in Israel.

On one occasion, while walking on the Common with her, I saw a police officer taking a man to the station-house.

On another occasion while walking with me she seemed conscious of the presence of her brother, although we were distant from him.

A wooden theatre was erected for the occasion, capable of holding 80,000 spectators.

I deem it my duty to report to Your Majesty the condition of the various corps I have had occasion to observe during different stages of the last two or three days’ march.

This is the kind of place people come for a special occasion.

Well, he has told me on more than one occasion that he was fascinated with your innocence.

In that body he sat as quietly as he had done in the National Assembly, but on the occasion of the king’s trial he had to speak, and then only to give his vote for the death of Louis.

Maggie is a great cook and if you love her food, she’ll even cater to any occasion. [And playing the piano, giving advice, photography and writing your autobiography.]

A romantic ambiance and art-deco interior create a delightful atmosphere for a date or special occasion.

Oh yes, with all the emergency supplies they had gathered for this occasion.

And this is a special occasion.

On one occasion he met his match.

It was rude to act this way to hosts who had invited them into their home on such a special occasion.

In early times nuns could go out of their enclosure on occasion; but in the later middle ages, up to the council of Trent, the tendency was to keep them more and more strictly confined within their convent precincts.

“This is where everything will change,” they thought in their private spaces, aware of the turmoil that awaits, which will be followed by eternal peace and happiness without a doubt, because God, as they were preparing themselves for the occasion, viewing themselves in the mirror from every possible angle, staring oneself deeply in the eyes.


05:27 Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

Hoe leg ik dit uit…

Ik ben me ervan bewust dat de meeste mensen geen flauw idee hebben van wat ik hier passievol scrhijf. Mijn veronderstelling, op basis van ervaring, is dat de meeste mensen niet eens intresse hebben in wat ik hier allemaal verkondig. Dat ze of alleen maar interesse hebben in mijn lichaam of een bericht snel doorscrollen om iets te vinden om over te zeiken.

Dit December Manifest weergeeft een kort maar krachtig stappenplan voor absolute macht. Niet het draaiboek voor een porno. Als men er echter zo naar kijkt kan ik misschien wel makkelijker uniform gedrag afdwingen en zo beter bepalen wie in welk cohort thuishoort. (Het cohort onder water bestaat ook.) Dus in die zin is het prima.

Maar op emotioneel vlak neemt mijn verlangen naar de dood toe. Tig mensen klungelen met matige korte termijn oplossingen voor maatschappelijke problemen. Ik produceer met de seconde permanente oplossingen, maar het enige wat men ziet is dikke lippen en cup F. Als dat mijn toekomst is dan sterf ik liever nu dan dat ik dat meemaak.

Het gewicht op aantrekkingskracht leggen was een poging tot het vinden van een middenweg, wat dat is de hoofdzaak waarvoor ik van heinde en ver benaderd word.

Ik wou dat er voor mij iemand was die dagelijks persoonlijke uiteenzettingen schreef die heel uniek en divers zijn. En ik wou dat er iemand was die ik zo aantrekkelijk vind dat ik ook spontaan bijna een orgasme krijg wanneer diegene een foto maakt van zichzelf in de rij bij de supermarkt, en dat diegene dan regelmatig nieuw beeldmateriaal plaatst. En dat diegene dan hetzelfde denkt als ik enzo en diegene een plan bedenkt waardoor ik de doodsaaie routine die ik leef permanent kan doorbreken en we samen kunnen leven in eeuwige liefde. Voor jullie vul ik leegte op, maar er bestaat geen Fangs voor Lil Fangs. 🙁

Dus haal je fucking alsjeblieft even je hand uit je broek, luister naar me en betaal me terug.

Iets in me wil me echt Whatsapp, Twitter, ASKfm, Pexels, Snapchat en al mijn websites permanent offline laten halen. Hoe zou dat voor je zijn?

December Manifest zo van samen zijn enzo. Ik ben altijd alleen met mijn gedachten. En dan ontstaat er een gemeenschap en de enige aandacht die ik daarvoor krijg is dat er iemand voor een beeldscherm gaat zitten masturberen? De maatschappij is een totale mislukking.

Ik wou dat ik deze bitterheid niet voelde. Liever had ik iets leuks opgeschreven.


16:55 Kievitwijk, Antwerpen