03:17 (AM) 

I’ve fixed the reCAPTCHA error, so you can register for this website now, if you’re not a robot 🙂 . And I’ve added some topics to the forum. Of course, they’re quite Fangy… I couldn’t think of anything else to discuss. Feel free to add any other topic yourself 🙂 ♥ 

I find my conversation starters on the forum quite funny. Aside from the feeling of severe loneliness that currently comes along with it, haha :D.  I hope I won’t need social media marketing to get more members… 

Here are my left over tasks for the completion of this website makeover:

I’m too tired to continue now x_x. Especially now that the fun part is “over”. It’s not entirely over, because the topics of conversation are infinite 😀 

I don’t think I’ll be able to finish everything today. Especially not because I’m going along with Pascale and her grandchild, to “de Poort”. 

In the evening/night, I’m going to the party Jamiro has been one of the organizers of. It’s called Schaafijs and is in club Up, here in Amsterdam. 

And… After this episode of BoJack Horseman, I’ll go to sleep… Nah, meow, I’ll just stop watching and attempt to have brushed my teeth before 04:30, because I want a more normal sleeping schedule. 

I wonder how I should style the slider, since I don’t have any usable recent images… 

Before 04:30 will become before 05:00, now that it’s 04:39 x_x. Haha meow I want to fast forward my life to when I’ve found my Graeynissis and we are formulating our definitive strategy… 

I’ll be brushing my teeth and going to bed. 

Good night

I love you 


17:09 (05:09 PM) 

Hey ♥

We’re back in Reigersbos, after our walk in de Amsterdamse Poort. 

Yaay meoww

I’m making polaroids, because I’ve been invited for a TV commercial about asparagus [to make the asparagus more popular]. Haha which is such a fun opportunity for some publicity, recent imagery and an income. 

I’ve been invited for it, but a confirmation I could get after sending them my polaroids and my clothing sizes/body measurements. So nothing is certain, as usual… I’ll make the pictures for sending now. After that, I’m going to eat something and lie down, because I’m crazy tired. 

By the way, when I came out of the shower today, I noticed a lump near my throat 🙁 . I think I need to visit doctor Cuddle. For my fatigue, too. And I want to get rid of the bags underneath my eyes x_x. 


18:59 (06:59 PM) 

My very simple polaroids:

Meoww now I feel like saving up for a real polaroid camera

A few days ago, when I picked up those berries, I spoke of another type of fruit I love, which is also not easy to find. But today, I found it! The

Astrocaryum vulgare! 

(To me) it’s better known as “awarra”. It has an amazing unique taste. I always bite the skin off, but cutting is possible as well, I guess.

The inside fruit has a hairy texture

And its pit is very large!

After biting off the skin, I bite the fruit off the pit, and chew on it, until it becomes dry pulp. I don’t eat the dry pulp. It’s on the plate in the background, haha… 

Meoww time for my 40 minutes pre-party nap xxx

[I haven’t gotten to working on my websites today. Tomorrow I’m going to the spa with my mother and aunts, in Busseloo, so then, I won’t be able to finish it either 🙁 .]


21:49 (09:49 PM) 

Meoww we’re at the house of Jamiro’s friend and boss. Jeroen, (one of) the owner(s) of the Pebble app and company. He’s preparing his set, as co-organizer and DJ. We brought some Burger King. His apartment is so nice! 😻 I want to be able to afford a cosy place with big windows, toooo! It’s really cool to see someone of my age live this young entrepreneurs life. Meoww I hope I’ll be the next to make it there… 

We’ll head over to the party location in a few. I love entrepreneurial spirits. Haha I also love LilFangs.com when it’s finished. How to find investors x_x.  

I’m telling myself not to drink too much 😀 . I really shouldn’t, with my aortic insufficiency and tachycardia and everything. And this lump that should not be there. 

Haha next time I’m going to a public place, I should announce it waaay in advance. And then hope that some Cuddles will come to cuddle me 😀 . 

So we’re heading to club Up 😋


22:59 (10:59 PM) 

We just arrived. The conclusion of this writing is that you should go to every party these guys organize 😀 . 

Some bad pictures coming up:

That’s Jamiro, with the white shirt. And the first DJ of the nighttt. I’ll ask his name after he’s donee. Jeroen is not here yet. He took his own car. 

Moved picturess

Meoww I feel VIP as fuck, standing in the DJ booth. I feel more safe here. I think I’ll make a good MC. Or a freestyling meow 😀 . 


23:35 (11:35 PM) 

Haha suddenly I feel the sting of my distance. Within these 2 years of time, I became such a distant person. I’m really trying to come off as social as possible, though.

It’s the “soundsystem” DJ, by the way. Not performing under a name, but solely for free fun. He’s also helped to prepare this party. 

There are so many people I’ve left, after their interference in something I didn’t want them to know. I see everyone texting people. They’re the people I used to text. But every time I get all of these questions I don’t want to answer. 

I prefer to act as if nothing happened. Because what happened is something so far from regular, I need a certain type of interest, to get the right understanding for what I’ve already tried to tell them. That it wasn’t received well, has made me scared of people. It was not just something. It was a part of my personality I’ve kept hidden, because it’s very unusual. Like being homosexual. But then something different. 

What I’m working towards with these words, is that I want to leave all of that behind. I want to start a new life, here in Amsterdam. You know, find some new friends. Build something up. And then move to California, because the Netherlands are way to fucking cold for me 😀 .