11:00

Good morning! ♥ 

How was your night?

Mine was nice. Even just laying down, when I couldn’t sleep, was nice. I’m used to hearing cars and sirens from a busy road, because my bedroom at “home” is next to one. But this room I’m in now, is so close to a busy road, that with my eyes closed, it feels like the cars are dashing past, right across my room, even though I sleep on the second to last highest floor. (The noise is a down side. I need seclusion…)

I’ll write some for D. O. C. I. S. and afterwards get ready. I’m going to see my Cuddle. 

11:52

Boii I think I can write a very unique executive summary… Too bad that today is already Friday and I have this place until Sunday x_x. Even if I were to send it today, chances are high that the soonest time I could get a response is Monday… 

Part of me says that if I want to persist in keeping this form of independence, staying abroad, I should time the moment I check out and the moment some disturbing external parties know that I’m out on the street, very strategically. It would be embarrassing to be dragged to the car, by pulling one of my ears, while being given “a nice and hard reprimand”.

13:07

Change of plans… My Cuddle’s [¿I’m still not sure] work shift starts soon and is almost until midnight. I don’t feel comfortable with travelling late at night at the moment and I want to stabilize my sleep schedule. He has this type of shift the rest of the week. What to do about my sleeping options? 

My plan is now to – after showering, because I’m still in bed – go to the library again. This time to change around the D.O.C.I.S. International website, to something more representative. May I include “donations with benefits” sections…? I ask, because, if you don’t want to do that, I won’t put it there. I really hope you’ll want to invest in me. I ask, instead of “peer pressuring” you, because I want you to make an independent and uninfluenced decision. I call it “donations with benefits”, because, since I’m registered in the Netherlands, I need a license to pay you dividends or anything else financial, and I don’t have the funds and papers for that licence, because of my age. 

I, for sure, prefer executive summaries over pitch decks. Pitches sound so risky to me. As if you can, with the right charts, even get away with: “I sell farts…” 

Ahahahahaha

Meoww the summary will be in D.O.C.I.S.

Ohh earlier:

Zzzzz

Meoww… I want to change the Docis Int. website, but in the current text, I say that I’ll be Daniëlle Lucy when I put the website back online. When I wrote that – before the MRI – I didn’t know that my life would have descended to this, by now. I hope you won’t mind if I “keep my emphasis on my Fangs character”, instead of switching main alias. 

I’m going to take a shower xxx

15:16

“The post shower glow”

Right before dashing out

15:45

I’m going to Subway for a sandwich, before going beast mode at the library until closing time. 

The list of things I want to do in a day is ve-ryyy long. Before I “showcase my material for investors”, I want to have at least a finished “basic professional website” for Docis Int., a hybrid Daniëlle Lucy website, an updated LilFangs.com and I need the ebook D.O.C.I.S. to be finished by then… I “have to” do all of that by myself x_x. This because I’m more interested in your private funds, instead of commercial funds. You’re my target audience :D. 

16:21

Meow

16:56

Not entirely comfortable with using a public computer, but enfin…

The computer froze right after I was done with the slider. It must be because it’s too hottt

Haha strg + alt + ???. I ended up just clicking restart ahahahah

Ahahaha I think my charts are hilarious. 

Okay, I’m going to open registration to D.O.C.I.S. International. That means that anyone can sign up. Please don’t tell any barbarians that signing up is easy, open and free… I want to keep the quality… Please sign up :D. 

19:15

Ah meoww, this computer freezes every 15 minutes x_x. But I think I’ll be able to finish the basic layout, so that I can write the text on my phone. 

The only reason to go past my parents’ house, is to pick up my chargers and my grandfather’s and the rest of my books. 

21:10

My fucking dinner x_x

Budget liiife

I was so busy working on the layout of the D.O.C.I.S. International website that I didn’t think of the donation possibilities until 30 minutes before the library closed. I ended up making this really quick. The goal is now set for €7.650.000,-, for the corporate island and facilitating the beginning phase. The corporate island has your future house and office on it. To be very honest, I think I need much more than €7,650,000.-. I’m just afraid of being rejected after having asked too much. [Reference to “the way I was raised”.] This because this money is intended for manufacturing books, not only written by me, the island will be bought and built on, we will create our own cross platform platform including its devices, a research project similar to Nosce Te Ipsum will be put into practice and marketed for, et cetera… Shout out to myself for initially wanting to earn this myself and then investing it all in the business myself, so that I wouldn’t have to pay interest. Haha I might be grey by age 23.

I think “these commas” [I wrote the number down “the Dutch way” the first time, haha, so there weren’t any commas noted] make my feelings more clear. The reason why I wouldn’t mind ever seeing my parents again. The only thing I want to do in life is make this business thrive. [“Apart from” getting that hug…] I don’t give a fuck about having a lot of friends, getting myself trapped in modern slavery for “working experience” and what’s on TV and other shallow shit. [What they want and force me to do.] If someone sabotages my mission that relates to realizing my goals, that person needs to get out of my life and I will feel such a relief when it happens. I’m talking about breaking contact. 

So my parents won’t make California possible for me – even though they can, with ease – and I am not going back home. What now? Check-out is coming Sunday at 12 pm. 

???

??????

¿¿¿¿¿¿

¿¿¿

Funny thing is that I also still need to continue the medical examination, to be sure that I don’t have cancer and to solve my fatigue and headaches. But I don’t have money for thattt. 

Something else trippy is: “die holländische Ausländerin”. I fucking can’t stand the way some people are so biased and racist towards colored people. Give me seclusion pleaseeee. 

22:52

I’ve been in Germany for longer than 2 weeks now. This is my more than seventh time in this country, my third time in Berlin and the first time I’ve been in this country for so long in a row.  

This hussle to be away from my parents is good for my mental health, but veryyyyy bad for my financial health. 

I really wonder if I’m now still going to become homeless again? Because there’s no fucking way I’ll be going back to the Netherlands. My parents think I’m here because I’m going crazy – I’ve been asked if I’ve been able to calm down – while I’m “just chilling” here, working on my business. I’ve been told several times that the psychiatry shit I fucking hate sooo much – something I’ve been fighting against since day 1 – will become worse when I come back. 

23:44

I find it very funny that today is the first day I’ve given a slight indication of the size of the funds I need.  The postponing is because rejection gives me palpitations and other health complaints. But maybe I won’t be rejected. It’s always one way or the other. There’s only one way to find out… 

What to do tomorrow? I want to do something useful, but I think my mind needs rest and my body needs exercise. I’ve been offered to come to the wellness center tomorrow. I guess I’ll do that. Unless I’ll be offered a better alternative… [please¿]

I’m off to bed. My eyes are falling shut. 

Good night, my Cuddles ♥

– xxx –