18:00 (06:00 PM)
Good evening, my dear reader <3
I am so curious to know how you perceive life. I can’t wait for project Nosce Te Ipsum to start!!
30 minutes ago, I handed in the final exam of the mathematics module I’d been following since January. Now, finally, D.O.C.I.S. International is my only focus! Studying and having a side-job I didn’t exaxtly do voluntarily. I feel quite relieved that I have less distractional occupations. Hopefully this will be so for the rest of our lives [I hope for the both of us!]. Unfortunately, there’s an interfering factor here…
My parents want me to continuously be in school and have a job. It exhausts me. I’ve done the combination of the 40 hour work week and 24 self-study hours per week for two months. Before that, I was busy [non-vacation travelling quite often (while studying) [I wish I wasn’t forced to do that] and before that I was also studying, while dealing with the people my parents had given the task to monitor me [every time I said: “These conversations are not helping me. I do not want to do this. This is a waste of time.” After a year [for that long, they’ve been asking me random questions about Benoît at least once a week…], they still didn’t want to listen to me, so I ran. This was to prove that I can function (way better) without them. They, since I had proven it and I was acting more social [against my will, but to keep my freedom], they didn’t have “a ground for” putting me back under their surveillance]]. It’s hard to describe the forms of frustration and sadness that come with people who believe that you’re less than you actually are. [Also, this diary is way too depressing, so I won’t elaborate on it any further hahahah. I want to end thatttt. I need my Cuddles and my projectt in real life. You’re my happiness…] Now they want me to sign up for another school year and have me pay half of my tuition, while I get another side-job. (I’d rather die?) I find that I at least can have a break from both having a side-job and school, for at least a month? Why do I necessarily need to work now? I’m only 21? I can work full-time when I’m 23, too? The retirement age is 65? I actually do not want to work for a boss ever again. I fucking hate that they do not allow me to do what I want. (It sounds like I’m 5 :'[…) The most annoying thing about this is that this feels like a “ticking time bomb” situation: if I don’t obey their wishes, they might want to put me under surveillance again.
I hope I can stall the moment that they find that “I’m “doing nothing” [I write at least 4 hours a day…] too much” and want to take measures, until the 30th. But because they can strike at any moment, saying: “Dominique, we see that you’re not doing well. You’re not meeting up with your friends anymore and you don’t have a job. We want you to talk to a proffessional and take mental health pills again.” [In Dutch] They don’t believe that I can make it as a 21-year-old entrepreneur… I want to show everyone that I can! To make sure I’ve launched the project before they strike, I actually intend to release the new first book episode, before the 30th. I do not want to conform myself to an agreement with an employer or a university, because in the long term, I only want to spend my “work time” on D.O.C.I.S. International.
19:38 (07:38 PM)
A quick hotel room tour? 😀
[I smile a lot better when I see my Cuddle in person :D.]
It’s my last night here. My time here has nourished my mind so much!
Even though it’s quite windy and rainy, I still want to air out a little. And move my muscles… I’ve been inside all day.
A random picture I took of my breakfast [at 9!]:
After my walk, I’ll be writing
Tot later 😀
*Gives you a Cishe*
22:30 (10:30 PM)
Haha it wasn’t raining anymore when I went outside.
I see a decrease in day Cuddles. Should I change something about my content? Are you a daily visitor? A weekly one? A monthly one? Anually¿ Once and never again?
The decrease could also be because of “end of week occupations”, like clubbing.
I guess I should state the questions in my polls more seriously. It was just a joke to test out if the polling works properly on this website… I hope it wasn’t misunderstood…. I’ll move them to D.O.C.I.S. International, which will become a non-single page website… Haha meoow that’s what I’ll be working on tomorrow (morning¿).
I think I should, until the release, take a break from writing online diary posts. I still want to write to keep an overview of what I perceive. This will be written in a different format :p.
*Snuggles up against you*
Did you just feel us getting closer?
I hope this isn’t uncomfortable to you… We’re so cuddled up in this Cuddle, I’m breathing against your skin…
Haha I’ll show you what Catting is:
Thank you for letting me hold your arm. With my nose, I’m caressing it, right now… Meow :D.
I’m going to sleep
Good night, my love
I sometimes still edit already written text, to make it more clear :p.