Who would you listen to? A group of people who express their care about someone, by, with a large budget, starting a campaign about how they miss someone and how that person “is now a lost cause”, because she has smoked quite a few joints, then became a lot less socially active person and decided to never come home again, or “the lost cause”, who has a very alternative view on the world and is, with a very low budget, trying to change the world, currently by legally bending the law, from her bedroom at her parents’ house? Apparently the choice was very easily made for a lot of people, since I am still without any active support. But I won’t give up. At least not before December 31, 2018, 23:59. This is Lil Fangs for President

A Brick Wall

That title was chosen in an attempt to keep your attention. Trying to get my message across, is like yelling against a brick wall. Right underneath your nose, I live through one of the most hidden forms of injustice, every day. Without any official support, it is not possible for me to escape from it. 

The way people are treated within the (Dutch) psychiatric system, is so inhumane.  The worst part is that once you’ve been in it, they can monitor you for the rest of your life. 

Imagine that you, a perfectly sane person, are suddenly snitched by someone very close to you, and suddenly every day psychiatrists come visit you at home, and they talk to you as if you don’t know how to count to ten, and they start to prescribe you all kinds of pills, of which they say that it can influence your reasoning and it will make you function normally again. 

In the beginning, you refuse to speak with them, because you’re not ill the way they claim you’re ill. But they keep telling you that you are, and that you should obey them. The person who has snitched you, keeps telling you that the measure is “The right thing for you and that everything will be okay.” You’re not allowed to leave your house anymore, as long as you keep refusing those pills. You can’t raise your voice at them and/or become violent, because when you do, they will inject you with their quackery and put you in a very cold isolation cell, with only a mattress on the ground and a toilet bowl next to it. With a camera in it, fixed on you. 

Are you with me on this one, that if you become stuck in such a situation, and everyone you ever believed in is suddenly telling you that you need help, while that what they call help, is making you feel offended, that it’s logical to just take a few of those pills and say that you’re doing better, so that you can leave the house, with the intention of never coming back? [And to (I did not expect that to happen in the future) never apologize to those who blame you for making them worried, because you suddenly left and were nowhere to be found. But you have told them plenty of times that you do not want that psychiatric surveillance in your life.]

I wish my first impression to the world would have been different. It’s hard to recover my reputation from I don’t even know what lie they have exactly told you about me and my well-being. All I know about that, is that when I Googled my name, at that time, “Dominique Elia vermist” [vermist means missing], was a search suggestion. When I search the same thing now, I see this:

Why this is a problem to me, is because I want to know what people have seen, so that I can debunk it

I have been told that after I was found – the full story on that, if you’re interested, is written out in The Unpublished Episodes of Nosce Te Ipsum I – everyone was ordered to delete the message that went viral. What the fuck went viral? I need to know. Why delete it, if it has gone viral already? Then I’m the only one who doesn’t know. 

The reason why I was so against being under psychiatric surveillance – so much that I decided to run away, after they started to speak about that their surveillance period is at least 12 months – is because of my aspirations. 

My aspirations are not literally to become president. I strive towards an independent form of influence, on a beyond-government level, accompanied by a select group of people. In my view, achieving international eternal peace, is possible. 

To many people it isn’t possible, which has been one of the grounds based on which I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia.  I find it outrageous that someone’s pessimistic view can define my entire life. With that diagnosis, I don’t agree with, I could have been denied access to enter the United States. By still going there, I intended to make a statement and hoped that the diagnosis could be reverted. To succeed in that, I need support from other people. 

The people in my environment don’t believe that I’m sane, because my parents have told them that I, one day, packed my suitcase and told them that Benoît Crutzen is going to come to our house and I’m going to leave and never come back. They responded to that statement of mine, as if I said it while I was not fully conscious. But I remember every single fucking heartless thing they have done in that period. They never asked my why I said that or what we were planning to do or anything. They just started to laugh at me and forbade me to see him. 

The day I packed my suitcase, was the day before I had arranged to meet up with him, to talk about a possible campaign, when I still had a PR business. I then did not know that over the next 24 hours, there were going to be several fights, that ended up in me shunning my parents for five days – things were not going well with my business and Benoît was my last hope, for success, paying off debts and friendship – and psychiatrists coming to the house every day. 

When I packed, I was aware that that wasn’t part of the plan we had discussed over e-mail. I was just that desperate to move out, because my parents do not want me to move out the way I want to move out, and thus they will never give me funds to move out. They might give me a little money to help me buy furniture or something, but the support I need, I won’t receive, they have told me several times.