11:29 (AM)

Good morning  ! <3

How’s your morning?

I’m still in bed. I work from 13:30 until 22:00 today. (01:30 PM – 10:00 PM.)

In this country – and maybe elsewhere, too, but in a lot of the countries I visit, I’m not often among locals, so I wouldn’t know it (with certainty) – some people will judge you very easily for doing something that doesn’t fit into the over-used, over-appreciated chiselled version of yourself you “have to be”. Talking negatively about people who should be close to me, would be something a person like that could judge me for. I don’t like talking about people like that. Especially not on this website I consider my portfolio. But I have to, to explain to you why I have no other choice and we should cuddle.

If my situation weren’t like this [my parents are preventing me from accomplishing my life goals]

  1. We could just do business, without those people saying it’s more logical that I’m a schizophrenic, than that you would actually be interested in doing business with me. (I’m, unfortunately, speaking from past experience. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, because they didn’t believe I actually hung out with my former professor. (But I have e-mail evidence (I haven’t showed them in “the heat of the moment”).))
  2. We could just do business, without me not being allowed to go somewhere with you, because you’re not a family acquaintance. (Watching the news is driving some people crazy.)
  3. I wouldn’t be tired stressed out all of the time, because of my future and my finances. My parents want me to climb up in the company I work for. I want to expand my business(es?), but they’re afraid of the sole proprietor risk, so they have forbidden me to have my own business. I unsubscribed my PR business (but the website still exists…). This was one of the most emotional things I’ve ever had to do. There was so much love and passion invested in that company already. In June (or maybe before June) I registered a new business. I went from PR to publishing, but I’m still working towards the same goal. The businesses I want my sole proprietorship to grow out into isn’t summarizable into an already existent concept, so it doesn’t really matter as what my business starts. However, I think an alternative research publishing system is more “gat in de markt” than “alternative PR” (also because that is harder to describe).
  4. I wouldn’t be working 40 hours a week to earn about €1300, to end up investing that in my company (and pray my company thrives on it, while I still also somehow need to find a proper apartment for myself and I somehow need to meet my audience and potential partners), while there are SO MANY things I need to do for this company still… Now that I unpublished my paperback, ebooks and EP, I want to publish new ones and use that as (semi-)free marketing material, to expand my audience and save time explaining what the concept of my business is (because you’d just have example material). I also still have school deadlines throughout the summer. My final exams are in September, so basically after that I have the time to semi-fully focus on my business. (Semi because my new curriculum would start October 6.) 

    I actually hope some Graeyniss will notice me and wants to hope on this gamble train on its way to introducing a lot of truly new concepts into this world. 

    20:25 (08:25 PM)

    Now that I have a late shift, I have a bit more free time. I made the front page slider and added the Youtube video to the header of “Lil Fangs searching for Graeyniss”. 

    22:48 (10:48 PM)

    I finished working around 22:15. I feel like sky gazing.