00:28 (12:28 PM) 

My Cuddle ♥

I’m on the last train of many transfers since I missed that one transfer, because of the delay of the first train. 

It worries me that even though I have some publicity, I’ve still unwantedly been a girlfriend experience, in a relationship that is/was the greatest miscommunication ever. He invited me over to the spa for the next day, the first time I saw him. That I said yes to that didn’t mean that I wanted to be intimate with him. I’ve gone to a nudist spa center and there I could just be naked around men without being harassed. Someone who isn’t able to keep his hands off a naked body, shouldn’t work there. But it’s very easy to manipulate me. And I’m always afraid to break hearts, but because of that, I forget about my own heart. Far too often I allow people who I’m not attracted to at all touch me, while I actually absolutely don’t want that to happen. This time it had led to something I can still not believe I was in. What a waste of time… 

What do I need to do to get invited to a good public speaking opportunity? I’m trying to become immortal. 

~•~

01:57 (AM) 

Ah, my Cuddle, I’ve been received here with so much love, it adds some silent tears of happiness to my silent tears of sadness. I’ve been given a key to the house already and after the tea and the large plate of nice food, I felt even better! 

My bedroom could be an Airbnb. That’s how good it looks, especially compared to my room at “my parents'” :D. I’ll show it to you tomorrow. I’m veryyy tired. 

Good night

I love you!

xxx

10:34 (AM) 

Good morning ♥

[I’m re-typing what I typed earlier, because the app crashed before I could update it :(]

I made myself a quick breakfast:

This is the first time I have to myself after more than a week. The rest of the family is at work. I wish I could surprise them with something, when they come back. My budget isn’t that high, because I’m still walletless. But I still have that cash of this party Cuddle. Maybe I could make a nice dessert¿ Or something else… 

I need to call the tax office hotline today, for my login credentials, to prevent myself from being falsely accused of tax fraud. You’ll have to be at “my parents” for that, but they have been getting away with a lot of shit. Like in that missing report, portraying me as the shittiest child ever, so that it looked like they didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t missing, I was trying to get the fuck away from them. As long as that file full of lies exists uncorrected for, in this world of big data, I won’t be at peace. 

I hope I’ll also get to working on my business overture today. I think Amsterdam is a good place to search for investors¿

Here’s my room:

Why closed curtains? Because I’m showing it to you the way I perceive it right now, breaking unspoken rules to define another form of freedom in self-expression, slight anonymity of location and I’m about to take a nap ehehe

The amount of flashbacks I’ve been living through – not even writing all of them down anymore, because they’re just so much – made it a bit hard to fall asleep last night. So I’m going to try to catch up, because I still can barely keep my eyes open.

Tot later xxx

~•~