02:57 (AM) 

Ah meoow why doesn’t my funny video in yesterday’s article show on my mobile browser πŸ™ . 

I’ve worked some on 180 Days of Fangs. Reflecting on this year makes me want to fucking die. If celebrating Christmas, still without my Cuddles and Graeynissis, with another family, still goes through, I think that will be one painful memory too much. New Year’s in bed by myself would be de klap op de vuurpijl [PUN HAHA*] that would make me prefer to sleep forever. 

* De klap op de vuurpijl is a figure of speech. It means surprise, but literally translated, it’s “the slap on the fire arrow”. Haha get it, in the context of New Year’s 😂 .

How I’m going to try to let 180 Days of Fangs lead to a shift? I don’t know yet, just like with everything else I write. It’s all intuitive. I came up with the idea of a timeline article just a few days ago. I’m thinking of ending it with a summary of the proposal of my thesis. The thing with these Graeynissis is that I know that they find me very attractive – but that’s because we’re made for each other, my sexy Cuddlemeow 😻 [our intelligence!] – and the person they’re in a relationship with probably can’t stand me, because I’m cool as fuck, so secretly they come back here every time, trying to figure out what the fuck I’m doing. I AM TALKING TO YOU. Who else can I talk to? πŸ™ About the thesis…

We’re from different classes, so it seems impossible for us to get together, but by being this privacy leak, I’m trying to show you that you shouldn’t give a fuck, too, and just make that move. I was very serious when I asked you on what the procedure is for saving a lone prophet. In this day and age, with my looks, there is no procedure. They’d say that it’s just because you want to be intimate with me. The people who say that kind of shit are the people I want to kill first, because they’re fucking sabotaging my opportunity to be able to make a change.

It’s fucking illegal to sabotage my success, because these kanker idiote “parents” of mine spread that viral lie about me “and made everyone so worried about me” [WAT LUL JE NOU MAN, MET OF ZONDER MIJ ZIT JE TOCH ALLEEN MAAR VOOR DE TV. JE HEBT JE ECHT GEEN ZORGEN GEMAAKT, HOOR. JE HEBT ALLEEN MAAR EEN KANKER FACEBOOK BERICHT GEDEELD EN EEN RONDJE GELOPEN. HOE DURF JE ME EEN SCHULDGEVOEL AAN TE PRATEN. FUCK. YOU. EN ALS IK DOOD GEWEEST ZOU ZIJN, ZOUDEN DIE KANKER IDIOTEN ZO VEEL STRONT OP MIJN NAAM HEBBEN GESMEERD, TERWIJL IK NIET DIE PERSOON BEN DIE ZE IN DAT VERMISSINGSBERICHT BESCHREVEN. EN DAT WEET JE DONDERS GOED. ALS JE ME HIEROM HAAT, BELIEVE ME, THEN I DON’T FUCKING WANT YOUR ATTENTION AND I WON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WOULD DIE. JE HEBT GEEN FUCKING FLAUW IDEE WAT IK ALLEMAAL HEB MEEGEMAAKT. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.] and I am the most multi-talented person on the planet, which leads to the usual jealousy.

Sorry for that fit of anger, my Graeyniss. I just wish I could cuddle you. I’ve been showing you pieces of my mind – even with all of these posts, I think this is not even 5% of all that I want to say and do – hoping that you’d decipher the urgency of you reaching out to me in real life. I’m waiting for you πŸ™ . All I can do is hope and wait, because I’m broke as fuck and I have the most non-cooperative, heartless proletarians as “parents” [I basically raised myself]. They kick me out, while I might have fucking cancer.

Ahh I should go to sleep. It’s 03:51 (AM) now.

I love you β™₯

I want to steal you from the person you’re dating.

I would love to be worshipped like a real-life goddess, but I’m not the type of person who would demand this. It’s something you should feel like doing.

Mag ik een Cishe? πŸ˜€

The easiest way to reach me is by posting a comment. But I believe that, because my life has become so public et cetera, my phone must be bugged as fuck by now, so you must have other sexy Graeyniss ways of reaching me. Please let this be my last day as “undiscovered talent”… :'(

YES, UNDISCOVERED IS IN BETWEEN BRACKETS, BECAUSE I KNOW FAR MORE PEOPLE ARE GAZING AT MY THINGS, BUT I HAVE REACHED ALL OF YOU WITHOUT SPENDING MILLIONS ON MARKETING AND THAT SHOULD BE RESPECTED INSTEAD OF PUNISHED. BITCHES.

πŸ™

Good night

xxx

15:14 (03:14 PM) 

Meow β™₯

I woke up early with a howling stomach and went back to bed after eating. And that while I had crazy sober munchies not long before going to sleep… I ate chow mein, bread with salami and some soup, around 1 AM, and around 7 AM I was already hungry again πŸ™ … Now I’m hungry again πŸ™ But I don’t want to eat the same thing… I have no choice though, since I’m too hungry to go to the supermarket. I’d faint… 

If you’re still a hater after reading 180 Days of Fangs, know that your soul is dead and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’ll never be able to see any of my publications again, once I’m lifted up a class. I’m the most disrespected person in this godforsaken country, while I deserve the most respect, since I’m the only one with an out-of-the-box strategy to save this fucking planet. I haven’t fully explained it yet. I’m waiting for some love and trust. And the opportunity to be with people who operate on the highest level. The fuck is this… 

Did you know that me not going to the doctor in the Netherlands is a slow form of committing suicide? If I don’t have cancer, I must have something else fucking serious. My urine is almost fucking orange. I hope, the day I won’t wake up or collapse, authorities from abroad will finally know all the shit that is going on here and fucking bomb this shitty ecosystem, by means of avenging me.

By taking it slow, I’m giving you time to save me. I don’t want to live, if I can’t live together with you in the most royal way possible. I love you and I’m not going to spend my life’s hours doing proletarian shit. That’s too far below my level of intelligence. Zzzzzzz.

~β€’~

16:31 (04:31 PM) 

By means of variation, I fried myself an egg.  I’m getting bored with sharing my cooking.  I never intended to do this in this way – still living a semi-proletarian life – for that long. I wanted to show the shift from discovered to undiscovered, while it was still happening. The problem is that it’s still happening. You know, every publicly successful person has a sad story behind his or her success. I’m still in the middle of the sad story. 

What I’m trying to very indirectly say is that, if you want me to live, someone needs to take me to a non-Dutch private hospital. All I can do with my semi-proletarian class and brokeness is go to my fucking non-cooperative hurtful fucking stupid bitch phycisian. But because of our history, I don’t want to share my feelings with her. I don’t want to be treated with regular medicine that have side-effects and shit. I know there are some cysts in my body and I want them to be removed with an operation and not with killer chemo. I hope the US president is a secret fan of me and that he would welcome me to his presisential health care niss. 

I think that’s the procedure on saving a lone prophet. Or a lone goddess…. 

I still haven’t showered and people are already coming home from work… My curtains are even still closed… Oh my god I feel so unproductive x_x. But I’m still tired meow πŸ™ 

~β€’~

18:52 (06:52 PM)

I’m so bed petty πŸ™ . Excuse me for not having dinner with the family right now. I hope you’re not waiting for me to come downstairs, because I intend to lay here until past midnight and then go downstairs to score some left overs or something. I’m not in the mood to socialize at all. 

I’m so stuck (financially and health wise), but still I’m looking forward to a studio session and hopefully seeing my Graeyniss at the ANWB event on Wednesday. The problem is my health… I haven’t done anything today, besides writing as I usually do, which is very time consuming, by the way. Yet still I’m soooo tireeed. And also quite hungry, but meoow I’m too petty to talk πŸ™ . 

~β€’~

20:35 (08:35 PM)  

I love hiding in bed. It’s a bad habit, though. Or should I say “bed habit”? πŸ˜€ *Ba dum tssss* 

It’s one of the things that were like adding oil to the fire, when ignorant motherfuckers wanted to “officially diagnose” me with a psychosis/schizophrenia. While I’m just a bed cat πŸ™ . [I didn’t talk to them like that. I used my most distant and professional Dutch with them. Putting a lot of emphasis on the law, which they have broken in so many ways and no one gives a fuck :'( ] Me mentioning this again now, even though I haven’t seen any psychiatry hoes this month, I think is because of post traumatic stress. The way to solve that is by starting a new life, if you’d ask me. There’s not much left to talk about. Everything is written down here. Spread over online diary articles and stuff… 

Has anyone seen my B?  πŸ™ 

Whatever happens, if no one helps me, my entire financial future will depend on my attendance to that event. I really hope this meow will be there, because he’s one of the few people I feel I could talk to. I hate small talk… I want to use my brain in a conversation. I want to run an independent state, so his field and specialisms are very interesting to me. I hope he has something for me. It’s, again, this wild cat seeking shelter… 

Ah meoow I hope he didn’t consider my zillion emails to him as me hitting on him. That would lead to lifeless plebian bitches talking shit about us πŸ˜€ . I just want a Graeyniss friend πŸ˜€ . But I must say that I find him very handsome 😻 and that this leads to me acting veryyy random around him. It’s just because I love you πŸ˜€ . Mag ik een cuddle? πŸ™ I love cuddling tall and handsome people. Also non-tall people. “Everyone is handsome”. <– that is populism hahahahahahahahahahaha. It’s a matter of confidence, though. As long as you find yourself attractive πŸ˜€ . 

Shelter is one of our basic human needs. Haha I say “our”, as if I’m human. I should drop all of my low-key forms of populism. 

Anyway, yes, about shelter… I should be able to afford shelter. Shelter I really want, even. But I can’t even afford shelter I don’t want. It was a choice of mine to live off study financing instead of welfare. I’m too proud for welfare… But meoow I hope I’ll get an opportunity to finally be able to afford some shelter I love. I’m talking about een achtertuin waarin je een sprintje kan trekken en waarin mijn kat genoeg ruimte heeft om een dier te zijn. That’s what I’m working towards. 

The size of my goals bring a lot of stress with them. Especially because I’m doing it all on my own. So dumb health care professionals who say: “No, you can’t be that sick. You’re too young for that.” EXCUSE ME, DO I SOUND LIKE A TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD? EXACTLY! I FUCKING DON’T. So I might also be sick like a non-twenty-two year old. I’m a Graeyniss, too πŸ™ . The way those health care people only think of their stupid budget is so frustrating. The idea of a budget is fictive anyway. Everything you spend is too much already, because this place is overpopulated and therefore every resource used is “beyond the budget”. 

Haha this budget thing gives me flashbacks to when I was working in the Summer… The numbers I’d like to work with are client related statistics and not money, since I’m not a supporter of “money prediction”. The Netherlands really need a financial make-over [and me too πŸ™‚ ]. I could help you… If you pay up πŸ˜€ . In that way, I’d help myself. I can also help you with constructing a plan in case the threat of this country flooding becomes too serious. I love short term projects. That’s what I’m a sole proprietor for πŸ™‚ . 

I want to ask my Graeyniss so many questions about thisss. He is t h e person who people would run to in case that wave of five meters of ice water brings back the balance in nature. Because the company is a monopoly related to less extreme forms of that situation. You also need to think about what you’re going to do afterwards, my Graeyniss. [This is a joke, haha. I wouldn’t force it… But it’s important to be prepared for anything. Especially now that over-population, over-consumption and lazy binge watching is “2018’s generation in three terms”, to me…] What would you like to do when you grow up even more? We don’t do routines, right? πŸ˜€

~β€’~

22:08 (10:08 PM) 

Haha something I really need so share with you is the Fangs version of All I Want for Christmas, which I have stuck in my head. It’s a joke. It’s also only one couplet or whatever. Readers discretion is advised haha. 

I don’t want a lot for Christmas 

I just want to fuck my B

And I will accomplish my endeavor 

And I feel like smoking trees


I just want you for my own 

[Yes, I’m talking to you]

More than you could ever know 

[Apparently you’re still not realizing it]

Make my wish come trueeeee 

[Yes, hurry up please]

All I want for Christmaaas 

[It will be like Christmas every day]

Is youuu 

[my Cuddle 😻 ]

Haha oh my godd after more than a decade of hearing this song, after hearing it once around this time of year, I’ll hear it until fucking January 2019 x_x. Whyy do people not get tired of hearing the same Christmas music…?

I don’t intend to record this. I just wanted to share my reason to laugh internally ahahahaha. Unless you want a recording…?

I guess it’s time for me to mentally prepare myself to get out of bed. I feel nastyy so I want to shower before going downstairs, but I’m also veryy hungryy, so meowΒΏ I always have a lot of needs at once x_x.

~β€’~