Sometimes I tell myself that I should only update my online diary on “normal times”, to make it seem like I’m “normal”. Who am I kidding… I fear negative judgment, with everything I do. (Because I’m used to it.) It’s better to just be myself and let people think that they can judge me, by looking at some small and easy to grasp details, never setting their minds to see what the point of all of this is, and why I’m doing all of this.
It’s because I’m thinking veryyy far ahead, and for us to live happily and peacefully in that time, things need to change now. I’m afraid people will call me crazy, while I just want to be appreciated for what I do. And get appreciation for and understanding of the message behind the message.
For everyone to understand the message behind the message, I’ll have to resort to another medium. Once it is clear that my solution to the international problems we’re facing, is an actual solution, and not a bunch of positivist exclamations, people will want to know what’s up. I’m glad I have a plan, and this is all part of it 🙂 . The Nosce Te Ipsum series will explain everything, and could initiate political, legal and economical shifts, if read by the right people. Hopefully, the circumstances under which I write, will become better. I hope my plan B will help me get my own place to live.
Today, I’ll finish Volta’s Plan B – I just thought of naming it Volta’s Plan B in Practice – and send out those applications, which hopefully won’t make me feel the sting of rejection again. The feeling of rejection is one of the worst feelings, I believe, after grief, the pain of injury and betrayal.
Meowss it’s 05:18 AM now. Time to go to bed.
I can’t wait to get a daytime occupation that will incentivize me to sleep at “normal” times! Even though sleep seems more like a custom than a feeling, because mentally, I don’t seem to get tired. Physically on the other hand…
Hehe good night / good morning
I love you ♥
– xxx –