My Cuddle ♥

It is four days until the release of the free ebook D.O.C.I.S..

I have shown images of company logos for free on my website, in case you want to press charges and/or need information on this. 

The Facebook ad might have directed me to you…

These topics are consciously picked, though… [[though]=Doch, in German :D. I included a mini language course in German in my diary post]

If you have just discovered this, I mentioned in earlier online diary episodes, I keep a diary while I am trying to find an investor. The “recruitment” [I am the one who is searching…] of D.O.C.I.S. International is explained in the free ebook D.O.C.I.S.. 

D.O.C.I.S. International is now my sole proprietor business for which I pay tax to the country I was born in. 

After November 30th, I want to start working on organizing a festival and a(n online) benefit. For this part of the project, I want to make gifts with essentials based on the basic needs that depend on what country the person receiving the gift lives in. 

It will be in the Stratagem chapter. 

I need to cut down on diary posts… 

And staring into my phone screen

It’s not good for the environment and it’s not good for my health. 

I did some night time yoga, I drank the same night time tea [I think it’s time for new variation] and now I’m going to bed. I’ve been dealing with so many nightmares and so much stress from financial trouble [I think I’m hungrier than most people if you would compare it on body rate level… I’m hungry again. I don’t have any self-bought food in the house besides what I used to make the mashed potatoes with.] that it’s hard for me to go to sleep. Am I going crazy? Do you want to bust me for writing? 

I think a tablet that works with the touch screen pen would speed up making my deadline? 

That means I have another reason to quickly go outside and cycle! I’m going to put an alarm for tomorrow. My daily routine needs to be adjusted better in order for me to make my deadline. “There’s more food during the day.” Papa? :[ [I’m a night person :D] 

Monday is my cooking day, just like Saturday. I live in the Netherlands. 

10:30 AM “Amsterdam time”

– Trying to get myself out of bed… Maybe lake once more… 

– Brush teeth and then make pourridge met gestoofd fruit 

– Shower etc.

– Maybe write depending on how long it took me to get out of bed


– Selecting and purchasing the tablet. That’s an investment… *****

– Buying groceries x_x


– Finish Determined, start Observative

– Cooking preparations etc. 


– “Night time ritual”

I don’t know what I’ll make yet…

***** Since I “””actually””” “make myself look richer than I truly am”. I can’t make a living, so I live with my parents. Lately, I’ve started to think that it’s “my parents”. I don’t look like the person whose last name I carry. There are no food shops open and there’s no suitable amount of food to cook that would satisfy my hunger. But I have some mashed potatoes left still… 😀

Ich bin ein Ausländer, wenn meine Mutter Zwei “Side Hoes” hätte und denn nicht wusste, von welche den “Little One” “ist/war/würde”. Bin ich Italienisch[e¿ I want to get back to working on my German grammar and learning Italian/Latin, as well as maaaanyyyy other things…]? 😻 Would then Professor Crutzen be my father? 😻😻😻

The hunger might be an issue that comes with my different anatomy.

After that, I’m going to sleep. 

It’s now 03:19 

Good night

xxx – 

Ohh my sister’s piano performance is tonight… Then no tablet? The one I really want is more expensive than I can buy anyway… 



I already wrote a long piece, earlier, but because I used emojis in this post even earlier and I didn’t re-insert the code and then ¿¿¿, that piece of text is now gone. 

I’m pushing myself to my limits 24/7. I probably have a serious physical illness (maybe even multiple), yet still I set aside going to the doctor again – in Germany – for the deadline I had set for myself two months ago. 



When Project Nosce Te Ipsum officially starts – that is when there is active engagement – I will heavily cut down on writing diary posts. And using the computer. 

We’ll – if you postpone reading D.O.C.I.S. “because you hate to read”, I don’t mean you – be having a lot of meetings that really are fun. I want to work during the holidays. There must be people out there who want to do that, too. (Is it you?) I want to organize a Christmas benefit. That’s part of Project Nosce Te Ipsum. 

I’m so tired that I’m going to take a little nap before grocery shopping. 


I decided to walk to the store(s) instead of cycling, so that I can tell you my motive for change:

The greatest “financial bubbles” of this economy are, if you’d ask me:

  • Streaming services 
  • Social media news services  
  • The advertising industry 
  • The weapon industry
  • Customer service
  • Student loans
  • Cryptovaluta… 

In my parallel system, the value of money will be defined by the rate between the amount of people and the  amount of space owned by the corporate state of D.O.C.I.S. International. 

It is important that when you earn something, you give something of value to all of society back in return. 

I just bought such tasty truffle cheese 😻

The entire existence of my country of birth is a financial bubble on top of an oil spill. Het staat als een huis onder het niveau van de zee HAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Het staat als een huis” is a saying that means that the construction has a strong fundament. “Onder het niveau van de zee” is below sea level. IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE IT’S TRUE AND FUCKING ABSURD AT THE SAME TIME. AND THIS SYSTEM BORES ME DUS LATEN WE HET SAMEN SLOPEN EN ER IETS NIEUWS VOOR IN DE PLAATS NEERZETTEN.

To use dykes to make artificial land and to then overpopulate it and artificially harvest on it… Those who have been profiting from it have had enough fun with their money now, I think.

In the Netherlands, there’s no space for what I want to do, because of the overpopulation.
For the long term sustainability of the environment, it’s best to flood it and start over with a clean slate. “We” can’t keep on living like couch potatoes anyway. And because of the existence of the website https://overstroomik.nl, we all know that it’s going to happen anyway, whether we initiate the flooding ourselves or not. When I was making the Facebook ad campaign, it became harder and harder for me to include more countries – I actually want to reach every country in the world, my choice of English over Dutch confirms it – and for some reason I wasn’t able to pick the Netherlands anymore. But it’s better, because the more than 17 million individuals on this small piece of land can’t all emigrate, when non-value jobs vanish, because we should do things NATURALLY and sustainable [NOT ARTIFICIAL AND “SUSTAINABLE”].

I chose California, because I used to watch the O.C. and I fell in love with the idea of living close to the beach and having so much living space and sun and sophisticated people…

I forgot to buy ribs x_x. I’ll be walking back.

I’m so tired that I want to say fuck the deadline,because there are more chapters than days left and especially in this snake country I call hell, chances are high that people will use it to profit from it themselves and not engage.


The butcher doesn’t sell unseasoned ribs x_x. Echt typisch. I try to avoid as many artificial sweeteners as possible. 

So then I’ll make something with the duck meat that was in the freezer. I try to avoid frozen foods as well, but with “my parents” that is fucking mission impossible. 

I wonder if I’ll have time to write today… Since there’s the school performance night of my sister. I went to the same high school… I’ve been avoiding reminders of that time in my life since I went missing. I already hated having switched to a different school, but I still thought of it as “all right” until I found out how many of the people from that phase in my life are actually snakes.