21:24 (09:24 PM)
I hadn’t shared this in my diary yet, but the decisive moment that will either confirm my supernatural hearing, or confirm my schizophrenia, will take place tomorrow morning. Schizophrenia had been confirmed starting two years ago, but my side of the story and the story of my only witness, have not been included in that case. I might finally have a shot at clearing my name and be reunited with someone I love so dearly.
Actually, that moment would take place today, but my B his trains were delayed, so it has been postponed to tomorrow morning. This announcement was made at the end of the afternoon. I spent all that time in bed, being nervous. It’s about a phone call that will take place between my mother and Benoît Crutzen.
In a way, I’m glad that it didn’t take place today, because she wasn’t even home when he’d call. I want to hear their conversation myself, instead of hearing a summary that might include a bias. I’d also be happy to hear his voice again. After so long 🙁 .
I must say that I already feel like I could win this, because he’s willing to make time for me. After my parents falsely called the cops on both of us (something I’ll never be at peace with), conversations have been all about how he wants nothing to do with me. And look at the situation I’m in now 🙂 . Yess it’s quite painful that he doesn’t reply to any of my messages, but maybe this is an even better way anyway. Since I could not do anything with him (talking, business, chilling, or something else) without the approval of my parents. I feel too old for this shitt, but meow these are the cards I can play.
My focus has been all over the place for the past few weeks, dealing with many forms of emotional pain. I’ve been working on my newest book – today as well – but I really don’t know if I’ll succeed in releasing it on the 30th. Especially because I also want to renew the D.O.C.I.S. International website to something with more images and a greater focus on the non-profit aspect of the business. And I want to have finished the Project Nosce Te Ipsum page. All to boost that one release…
These underrated self-guided projects are starting to tire me a lot, mentally. I need a team. But I won’t stop doing everything by myself, until I’ve found the right people to work with.
I’m going to continue to work on the new Nosce Te Ipsum release, until the conversation takes place, tomorrow morning… This might sound crazy, but that conversation will determine my future and my will to live. If my witness, my B, denies my abilities, I’ve been wrongly keeping my foot down for the past two years, and I don’t want to live the rest of my life as a schizophrenic who doesn’t agree with the diagnosis. If he confirms my abilities, I can clear my name and hopefully kickstart my real career.
It’s nerve wracking, but very much worth ittt. I hope to bring you positive news tomorrow 🙂 xxx
The featured image is made by Burst. I chose this image, because it shows exactly how I wrapped myself up in bed today. The way I often do, when things get nerve wracking or emotionally painful.