Heyyy ♥

The completion of the online D.O.C.I.S. International empire is getting closer and closer. 🙂 And so are my trip to Curaçao, the start of university in Antwerp and finding an apartment. It’s all yays. 🙂

Earlier today, I visited the south of the center of Antwerp to see another potential apartment. It is located in such a nice neighborhood! I snapped some quick pictures…

Nice and diverse restaurants everywhere

And such pretty infrastructure! 😻

And the Royal Museum of Fine Arts is right around the corner 😀


But still they don’t display how pretty it was. 🙂 Usually, when I think of a city center, I think of an overdose of car traffic and cramped streets. This was meowww. 😻 I like this neighborhood more than the neighborhood of the first apartment I visited, but I like the other apartment a lot better. The other apartment suits my long-term view much better. That one has a home office, a spacious living room, a bathroom and a balcony. The apartment I visited today is small and has the shower cabin in the bedroom. It feels cramped on the one hand, but sexy on the other hand. To get creative with a tiny space sounds like fun, but I prefer the first apartment. So today I visited a good second option. Though I’m not sure about how to manage things if I have a lot of packages to send out and have to get them down 6 spiral stairs because the apartment is not on the street-side of the building… I’ll find a way. 🙂 (But I reallyyy hope the other apartment in Berchem will be mine!)

Meowww this was an introductory anecdote towards what I’d like to say about my personal endeavors combined with how open I am about my personal life, including how I sometimes write explicit passages about people I feel attracted to, then share some hopes and worries about the Book Club, and then say some things about how I have a maximum capacity when it comes to the amount of book orders and book club members I can handle personally (including the queries I’ll write for most digital processes), and how I have a non-outsourcing expansion strategy ready for when this happens (but need the sales first to be able to put it into practice). But now I need to visit my grandmothers to pick one up and pick paperwork up from the other. After that I’ll continue and make a day-to-day schedule for the coming few days, because I want to finish everything in time for my holiday, to let my holiday be a holiday. 🙂

See you in a few (hours) xxx


Updated 20:02 (08:02 PM) [GMT +2]
Capelle aan den IJssel

I have a few minutes to type now yay.

What I told you before is what I’ve done and seen objectively. (Oh I’ve also driven past one of the campus I’ll spend a lot of time at, to get a glimpse. There’s a museum close by, it’s in another chill neighborhood and seeing it makes me even more excited about going there. 🙂 I wish I had this idea back in 2016… Antwerp is awesome. 🙂 )

I do this very publicly because I feel that my actions are otherwise not understood. Plus sometimes I make a decision in April and that then plays out in June or something, or predict something… It makes me feel comfortable, making my long-term vision clear. And I also use this diary to keep an oversight of all of the things I’m doing and working towards. But I think it will take a very long while before this diary is understood in a professional context…? Can you imagine the CEO of anything blogging about his/her love life, ambitions beyond his/her function and work stress? In D.O.C.I.S. International as an alliance of individual business entities, this can be more than normal. Not that everyone has to share everything the way I do, but this type of openness should be normal to make sure that people are not suffering in silence… Intelligent issues can be solved better when they’re logged like this.

Though I can really understand it if some people would rather not have (a specific set of) other people they don’t want to know about what’s on their minds, let alone talk about it. Like the intense way I sometimes express my attraction for someone. How I thought that what I felt for my head B is physical love. It’s still a type of love though. I felt a strong need to cry on his shoulder when we were having that conversation my mother arranged. It would still not surprise me if it turns out that he is my father¿ We seriously look alike¿ Right? When he said “Talk to your dad”, my brain’s CPU was overclocking and my stomach turned from the idea of asking him if he is referring to himself or the man whose last name I had for my parents married two weeks before I was born. But he said that we’ll meet again meow he’s really cool and my public speaking example so I hope this is happening. Plus I don’t know that many people in Belgium… Though meow I feel a bit like hiding because all the attached sounding writing of my first year of blogging was all kinda weird. x_x Oh my god that christmas thing. Via this diary it has become a painful memory. 😩 When I wrote that Christmas song parody, my brain didn’t let as many toxic memories through as now. Though I know my brain is still not the way it was before the nonsense with psychiatry, police, pills et cetera started. It now always feels pressurized.

Another painful thing logged is me stalking Victishe. x_x And having this nickname for him. x_x And then I said something like: “This ****** “employee” of him who was barking at me about sending him messages doesn’t mean that he’s not in to some hugs and kisses from me¿ (though that was not even the main content of the messages meow I’m subtle-ish though my diary is public haha trippy situation).” And that I will finish my business websites and everything and then contact him again as a business doing some innocent e-mail marketing… But meow I’m not going to do that anymore. I really don’t want to risk another barking ***** in my ear omg. x_x Plus I really don’t like to be ignored. I’m future royalty meow please give me a little attention. 🙁

At first, I thought of sending all Graeynissis I’ve ever met an e-mail about my bookstore and book club. But for some reason they think “I’m not going to respond to this,” to everything I send. I’m not sending it to be ignored. 🙁 I really want them to become members of my book club, but maybe sending nothing is better or something?

My greatest worry about my book club is that no one will sign up. 🙁 (And I don’t give away free memberships (to the people I know)… I treat my members equally. 🙂 Plus the price is based on expenses I make for every member. To send a package from the Netherlands to the US, of the average size and weight a D.O.C.I.S. package will be, is like €65…)

I hope people will sign up. The concept is so much fun!!! Right!? I hope I can just start from the start, because I can’t fake an active book club the way I’ve been faking an active comment section and blog under the name “Graeynissis”, to incentivize people to join the conversation on here.

With “start from the start” I mean this: the first month the Book Club will be active is September. The theme of the month (for it’s just one month of the entire quarter and there are quarterly themes) is (spoiler alert) privacy. At the end of the month, I’d like to show the awesomeness we’ve made with the theme “privacy”. For our collection of memories and for the spectators (those who like to occupy themselves with D.O.C.I.S. things but not become a member), that will be fun to look at. It’s also indirect marketing for more Book Club members, when they see the greatness we’ve been creating. But if no one signs up and under the theme “privacy” there will just be emptiness… Who wants to become member of a book club with no members but just a lonely Fangs? 🙁

I reallyyy hope you’ll sign up. I know you’re out there!!! I know you want to spend time with me very much! Please do. 🙁 ♥ Meoooww cattention. 😿

Another reason why I need Book Club members and Store sales is because my parents will pay my tuition and €300/€350 (I agreed with my mother on €350, she didn’t remember (every penny spent on me is a penny too much so she always estimates lower prices around my father) and my father prefers €300, but when I was apartment shopping online I assumed €350) of my rent for only three years… Once I get used to the freedom of living alone, I don’t want to hand that in ever. I’m not even there yet and look at how chiseled I’m trying to act to not make them change their minds on me. x_x Plus no idea how else I can get a PhD without my parents paying my tuition? I can’t become a trainee of Victishe to pay for this meow please…

I can handle max (very near passing out from capacity overload max) 50 sales per week and, about 1000 Online and about 300 Full Book Club members (though the web servers might need support a lot sooner) per quarter, by myself, in this sole proprietorship setting. My prices include a margin to have enough capital to carry the investments I’ll need to set up my own distribution center, have my own printing press and my own servers and stuff. Plus to finally hire people, but – before that – invest in robotics so that I don’t hire people and then replace them, but hire them for a task I will never let a robot do. 🙂 ♥

When I’m at my max production capacity, packing boxes, doing accounting per sale, making new user accounts, writing newsletters (though it will be your articles in the newsletter, I still write like an introduction or an end text or something. Or something in the middle you know wassup), it will take a bit long before you receive what you order. Delivery takes relatively long in the beginning phase, because for your sale, I’ll have to order the books at the distributor and wait until they are all delivered. It might take long, but you will always, I repeat, ALWAYS (!!!) receive what you pay for!

The price is set up in such a way that I can buy packaging boxes and packaging lints, labels, personalized gifts and the book(s) you buy, after the first sale I make. And then have a little margin that is my income after the 9% revenue tax reduction. So meow…

Get it? 😀 We’re financially bulletproof. ♥

Meanwhile this website is also a lot faster now, because I deleted the webshop that was on this blog that didn’t have any sales ever anyway… (*heart shatters*)

I’m going to bed. Good night. ♥

– xxx –

Updated 01:36 (AM) [GMT +2]
Capelle aan den IJssel

Oh haha meow I forgot to include this funny book description (it’s funny and appropriate right¿):
[click on the image and it will take you here]

Ahahaha please tell me you’ll buy this (so that I can buy this sexiness too meoww it really is sooo cooool I want to have a big wooden bookcase full of books like this 😻 )

And my schedule will follow in a fewww I can’t go to sleep without this oversight.


Updated 02:03 (AM) [GMT +2]
Capelle aan den IJssel

Oversight is here. Am I de-stressed? Not as much as I hoped. My schedule is tight as fuck. 😀 (Biggest problem is that most people don’t take me seriously. 🙁 )

Click to enlarge 😀

Haha max capacity. 😢 If I just had an investor, I didn’t have to break my brain over a way to monetize a WordPress website without paying €2300+ for a WordPress theme… 😩

But I have intentions of recommending people at the North Sea Jazz festival in Curaçao to buy things in my bookstore, so it better be finished… 🙁


Updated 03:46 (AM) [GMT +2]
Capelle aan den IJssel