Good day ♥
By the time I upload this, it is probably afternoon, so that’s why I’m saying “day” instead of “morning”.
It is my second to last day here on Curaçao, which will be devoted to working on my essay (plus some things for the Book Club and Bookstore due on September 1st), maybe some swimming and after that the second and my last night of North Sea Jazz Curaçao.
My Regular Duties
On September 1st, the assignment for the D.O.C.I.S. Book Club will be announced. On September 13th, I’ll be giving a speech about “Evolving Individualism in the 9 – 5 Economy” at GrandVision in Amsterdam (I look forward to 🙂 ).
Furthermore, I want to have my Wikipedia pages finished soon, there are still a lot of pictures I’ve taken this Summer, which I’d like to sort out and make a LilFangs.com picture album of, I’m trying to plan more visitations for apartments in Antwerp, et ceteraaa.
The assignment will be one of creative writing about privacy, using 1984 as a frame of reference. You’ll see it (either way), for it will be announced both on The Fangs and here. I hope you will do it. 🙂
When I’m home, I’ll be practicing my speech and upload the essay. I like speaking for an audience (that does not want to see Fangs fall, I hope). It is quite something to have the opportunity to do this for GrandVision. 🙂 ♥
It is my intention to have ny Wikipedia pages finished before September 13th. The pictures thing I hope won’t become a task I’ll postpone forever.
The Hunt for a Home
When it comes to finding an apartment in Antwerp, I see this is quite hopeless. Basically, I don’t care what apartment I move in to, as long as the costs for it aren’t out of the roof and it is less than 20 minutes from Campus Middelheim by bike.
The problem is that I’m a student who is colored, with a Dutch passport. That is three strikes. With some shady sole proprietor business: four strikes. Students are known for nuisance and making a mess, I might as well be seen as someone with a fake passport if one is not familiar with the Dutch colonial history, the reason why I’d rather study in Belgium than in the Netherlands is not easy to understand and my income is a big question mark topped off with a student loan. Still, I don’t want to settle for a car. I just want to be able to be all alone when I want to. 🙁
What My Body Needs Even More Right Now
What my body needs even more than the type of penetration that makes one feel like life is great and problems do not exist, is something I do not have simple words for. I’ll use a description. You may, if you like, define how to call it. (Though this may be influenced by interpretation.)
I really crave to be all alone. Time may go faster. To be able to travel to tropical islands all by myself is what I’m working towards. That is a way different experience of the calm aura tropical nature has over itself.
What would be even better, is to be with someone with whom being together feels the same as being alone. Then spending time with someone else is not stressful to me. Where I can be myself without a 10-year explanation for a simple thought of mine. (Seeing all of those US Open games makes me want to play tennis with exactly that type of friend.)
This is all not what I expected it to be. I thought that being here would be relaxing to me and that this festival would be one where everyone dances and mingles with everyone. But I feel – though basically unavoidable – I should watch my actions to not end up in some gossip scheme and it’s the usual clusters. I mean if you know me from my blog, I wish I was easy to be approached in person. But I am not. My environment is not inviting. Not in the Netherlands and also not here. Operation Sunnyhoes is a literal mission impossible.
Especially after being barked at for not wanting to repeat my answer – of which I knew it would not be judged mutually anyway – for a forth time, and staying silent instead of saying “Excuse me, what the fuck do you think you’re doing talking to me like that?”, I knew for sure that I should move out at all cost.
It is my intention to be at the festival from the start to the end, today. My choice of artists to visit is rather intuitive. Pitbull, Kenny G, Earth, Wind & Fire, Michael McDonald (and a bit of Maxwell… Exactly they are at the same time 🙁 ) and the Black Eyed Peas I have intentions to see. I’m going to try to do this by myself, because that is much more comfortable dancing, walking and deciding where and when to sit and stand. I’ll take my camera this time. 🙂
Yesterday I learnt that I cannot dance comfortably to music that is written in a major scale for the largest part. I already most often play music in minor (both on the piano and on Spotify). And I learnt that I’d rather make live music than listen to live music.
I feel like trash because I want to be all alone. I’m going for a quick dive and get to writing. xxx
Updated at 13:27 (01:27 PM)
Today’s featured image is my favorite actor: Chris Pine. (Especially after Star Trek. 🙂 ) I found this image on Google Images, originally posted on Variety.com (opens in new tab). The look of thoughts and/or responsibilities (anything) keeping one awake looks very sexy on him. And it suits the state of Operation Sunnyhoes.
I thought of using an image if Victishe for featured, but feel I really can’t do that without permission and would not ask for that on this satiric set of blog posts.