I am in Maintenance Mode

But I am addicted to you... I can't stop writing you!! After the Summer, I'd like to propose something to you, which could improve our lives for all eternity... I'm working on it (and for it) right now. Let's be Cuddles :D.

"A(n end of) September without unwanted routinely obligations? A holiday feeling that lasts forever¿" Let's make it happen...



Popular posts

Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum

III. Nerdy Smooth

Did I just see you take off your socks? Damn… Those feet…  00:12 – 00:30 piano solo Is it hot in here? Or is it just you? It must be hot because of you — I’m so happy you’re hearing me I want to talk about the attraction between us…

Blog, Ex Animo, Nosce Te Ipsum

II. An Overture

00:02-00:13  Please don’t focus on sound quality I had to find a way to get these words to you I’m not trying to comform myself to the standard of someone living in the spotlight It’s about the message For me to experience true freedom, you need to hear my message…

Blog, Online Diary

Thursday May 3, 2018

01:46 (AM) Good… Moment of the day to write something? I’ve just “finished” all instrumental versions of all 5 tracks of Nosce t’ipsum EP(isode) 1: Revenge of the Nerds. I thought I wouldn’t be able to finish it before I stay in the jungle with my family for the weekend,…

Blog, Online Diary

Monday April 30, 2018

12:33 (PM) It fucking happend again. I type half a book, then my text doesn’t get saved. Fleh. I wrote a lot about being in Surinam and being discovered as an artist.  Oh and that I made a Twitter account: @_lilfangs. I hadn’t mentioned it here yet, but I made…

Blog, Online Diary

Sunday April 29, 2018

22:08 (10:08 PM) Good evening, my cuddle How was your day? I’m standing in the bathroom, because I have a better internet connection here. I’m downloading an voice changer app on my phone. The daily updates of Saturday and Friday are “still being uploaded”… It’s because of the bad wifi…

Blog, Online Diary

Saturday April 28, 2018

10:57 (AM) Good morning, my Cuddle I’m at the gate now, about to fly to Paramaribo. Just like last year. I see history repeat itself. I have been contemplating suicide again, but every time I think I’m out of strategies for freedom, I get an epiphany. I had to travel…

Blog, Nosce Te Ipsum, Online Diary, Reflections

Friday April 27, 2018

For more information on the story behind the first episode, search for the downward facing triangle on the left side of the paper. (It’s somewhere at the end.)  Haha from the “scenery around my notebook” you can see the time cheat in this “daily update”.

Drafts, Online Diary

Thursday April 26, 2018

12:17 (PM) Good afternoon 😀 I had breakfast in the morning, around 09:30. Then I wanted to take a nap, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I’m kind of stressed out because of Surinam… I decided that I should buy a MIDI keyboard with a drum kit, so that I can…

Drafts, Recipes

Noodles: Paris, night 1

Salmon Tomatoes Mushrooms Taugé Citroengras Sel Piment rouge Zeste d’orange Sésame noir Sésame Poivre Japonais Algues Gingembre Beurre (“doux”) Noodles

Drafts, Online Diary

Wednesday April 25, 2018

07:39 (AM) Good morniing! How was your night? 10:03 (AM) The train is riding… I feel so much weight getting taken off my shoulders right now… I’m in this private booth in the train ahahahaha. I kind of feel like “a boss” sitting in this train comfortably, knowing that accross…

Blog, Online Diary

Tuesday April 24, 2018

02:22 (AM) Good morning…? I can’t sleep… Often when I type “good night” I take hours to fall asleep. Because I want to go running later today, I checked the weather. Then I checked my Instagram account for updates on my timeline. And I checked my bank account… It’s finally…

Drafts, Recipes

Rice: red coal, asparagus and white fish

Rode kool, asperges, tongfilet (?)[any type of white fish], white wine, cinnamon, cumin, koriander, sugar, rice, kruidnagelen, santen (“kokosblok”), unions, garlic, salt/bouillonblokje Botersaus met witte wijn en kaneel Rijst met boter, zout en kruidnagelen Gebakken tongfilet Asperges en rode kool (eerst de asperges bakken, later de rode kool toevoegen) 1)…

Drafts, Recipes

Noodles: pre-dinner/”extremely late lunch”

3 eggs, an union, baby paksoi, ketjap marinade, fresh noodles (“soft noodles”), ster anijs, cajun spice, “jonnie boer”(, maggi blokje, garlic) Add the marinade after adding the noodles, if you want “a more intense taste”. After adding the paksoi, leave the whatever you want to call it on a low…

Drafts, Recipes

Simple fried egg

(Got the idea to write it down while I was eating haha.) An union, four eggs, bouillonblokje, sambal, paprika(poeder)

Blog, Online Diary

Monday April 23, 2018

10:20 (AM) Gooood morning! Two more nights left!! Are you as excited as I am? I need to cuddle youu. To stop my hidden sadness :[. Meow…….. Today I have to cook, go to “my psychiatric psychologist” and pick up the pills. Apparently I can use it (the pills) as…


Spotify: 2017’s Favorites

Man… In the original plan, we would have been listening to this in the Summer of 2017. The original name was “Summer 2017” :(.


Little Model Fangs

I was about 14 when I did this shoot, in Doel, in Belgium. A lot of (way older) models and photographers came together in a deserted “village”. My uncle invited me over. The pictures with the axe were taken by him. The unedited pictures were taken by a man I…


“Project Texo” shoot day 2

The pictures of the second day were taken at “De Nieuwe Poort” in Rotterdam, located very close to the central station. Here’s their website: https://denieuwepoort.org/horeca-zaalverhuur/


“Project Texo” shoot day 1

Project Texo was going to serve as the project to put my brand on the map. Episode 1 tells you about the bailing clients and the client I wasn’t allowed to see, so I couldn’t finish the portfolio I needed for the project. I still want to show you the…

Blog, Online Diary

Sunday April 22, 2018

14:14 (02:14 PM) Goeie middag :] ( = the informal variant of good afternoon, in Dutch) How was your night? As usual, I woke up from the noise outside, but I stayed in bed for hours. My stomach loud, my energy level so low I can’t get up. I didn’t…

Blog, Online Diary

Saturday April 21, 2018

15:20 (03:20 PM) Heeii  I have survived the most nerve-wrecking moment of all time: telling my mother I’ve booked a hotel in Paris… If she says “no”, I need to go to Suriname. But Liée! She only said that it’s not “gezellig”. (A word that doesn’t really exist in English….

Posts from my old blogs

I Love Diversity

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa Convivalis1 m, f (neuter convivale); third declension con = (samen) together, vivalis = (not even a word, but it looks like vivare: the second-person singular present passive subjunctive of vivo:…

Ex Animo


What if my body and mind can do way more than I believe is possible? I set my own mental boundaries. Can we escape time? Because I feel like having dinner on the beach. Wait. Are you down to go to a place where you can do whatever you feel…

Ex Animo


Fear the Alpha. With his empty Clouds that bring darkness to life. Duality in Reverse implies The Beta. Female Equivalency powered by the East’s Light. A Dove with Hawk-like ambitions. Are you ready to Evolve? Stop it, Babylon. I’m an Amazon. Lil Fangs

Thank you for scrolling down so far.

In The (Bottom) Spotlight

Monday May 21, 2018