03:49 (AM)

Hey Cuddle ♥

I can’t sleep. I need cuddles 🙁 . My heart hurts more than ever…

If I’d get a euro for every time someone tells me I need help, I would seriously not need help, because money is my only problem, causing me to have to spend time with people I can’t level with, because I can’t afford to stay away from them, instead of having them make me feel depressed for not being understood.

But yesterday’s “get help” was different. My B turns out not to be my B, he told me :(. Two years of pleading and then this… People have broken the law with me and experimented with several types of antipsychotics on me, et cetera, because of my brain-to-brain communication experience, while my receiver has never been involved in the process. Until he was involved today. His denial has weakened my case so much, it is, however, pointless to reopen my cold case 🙁 .

What is the point of this entire blog now 🙁 . I’m considering – since the alliance agreement was not signed either – to take everything I’ve published this far, off of it, make my own extremely plain HTML/CSS theme and run this blog without a CMS, and have https://docis.international redirect to that self-made and plain website… Or just have some blank page with a bit of text on there…

I need something to occupy myself with, so I’ll be “coding”, as I contemplate death, or joining the army (special forces or infantry officer)… Or contacting the job recruitment bureau specialized in people with a high IQ… (But that probably means small talk with colleagues in the near future and I really don’t like small talk…)

Earlier this night

Pictures of the HB(P) executive event have been sent to me in the meantime 🙂

I’ll let you my decision now that my experience of brain-to-brain communication really turns out to be schizophrenia (unless either my mother has bribed him, or there are other reasons for denial), of what I’ll do with my life now… It would have been so much easier to cause the system’s Volta, if my brain-to-brain communication were real… Without that communication possibility, I don’t even want to do it anymore 🙁 .

I should unsubscribe D.O.C.I.S. International from the Chamber of Commerce and request welfare, but that means that I’ll have to start solliciting as well, which makes me contemplate death x_x. That’s how I ended up considering to join the ministry of defence its Special Ops…

Meoww I’m going to “atten” a bottle of water and go to sleep.

Good night ♥


16:27 (04:27 PM)
Good afternoon 🙂 ♥

I have made my decisions. It has become easier now that I’ve informally received a job offer 🙂 . I’ve however not received permission to publicize any details of what has been offered, yet. I’ll have to negotiate to gain that permission.

All I can say is that it – if this goes through – will be a great step towards my dreams of being able to live off passive income only, so that I have plenty of time to develop the D.O.C.I.S., which could then become my active income 🙂 .

And I could earn enough with it, to be able to continue my studies at The Open University, and start buying and selling art and other valuables 😀 . And, if all goes well, I can show you that entire journey and hopefully become the asset to your life I want to be 😀 . To attempt to boost that process, I have made the following decisions:

  • I will give my websites make-overs, making the D.O.C.I.S. International’s site, aside from the bookstore I will make for it (selling classics, too 🙂 ) [and later include art etc. in that], will become fully self-coded, independent from WordPress. For LilFangs.com, I’ll make my own theme. Carrie has been an amazing theme, though, but it’s time for change 🙂 .
  • Creating an app for the new D.O.C.I.S. International. That will take a while, though. But I’ll show you every step of the way 🙂 .
  • What content of mine is findable where, will be changed to something more overseeable. Plus, the overviews of content will not be excerpts but just be the full content, for a smoother reading experience.
  • I will change the sbi codes my business is registered for, giving me better possibilities to build a diverse portfolio.
  • Possibly continuing at The Open University (I really hope…).

I’ll get back to the drawing board and record the process of how I change my concept around 🙂 . To make my own WordPress theme, I’m watching this video:

For app development, I’m starting off with this video: