[I wrote this unfinished piece of post yesterday around 7 PM, but then something happened, and because of that, I still will not finish it. I’ll explain it to you ๐Ÿ™‚ . Between the three dotted lines is the unfinished piece of post.]

My Cuddle โ™ฅ

Excuse my previous madness ๐Ÿ™ . It’s a side effect that comes with my ambition. I hope you still love me. I get so mad, because I love you and I can’t stand that I can’t be with you ๐Ÿ™ .

I had a lot of fun with my mother yesterday. When we were texting a few days before, I told her that I tend to stay away from her, because she can express the way she feels so negatively sometimes, and I want to see and hear her be happy. Hearing her express herself negatively gives me heartache and palpitations.

I feel terrible, too, but when we go out to do something together, it’s better to push those feelings aside, to try to emphasize the good things and to act happier than you are, because then you might end up feeling that way, too. I it worked for the both of us ๐Ÿ˜€ โ™ฅ

Around 2 o’clock, we took the metro to the city center. (We intended to leave around 1, but I kept snoozing my 10:50 alarm and at some point I accidentally dismissed it, so I woke up at 12:37 and had to rush…)

00:38 (AM)ย 

The reason why I’m so much later than usual with writing a post, was because I was socializing all day. It has been so long since I’ve felt so uplifted. I had conversations with my mother that really felt like it was like in the old days. I loved it. Then, here, at the house of the family friends I’m staying with, too, we were talking a lot. At first a lot about decision making from a parental perspective.

Then, later, somehow, we ended up talking about my business plans. I’ve touched on my business plans with other people before, but it’s so unique that I prefer to keep them to myself, because when it comes to money, some people try to do good with it, and some just want to have the most of it. I believe that because most people on this Earth are very self-preservative, this Earth is such a shit dystopia. I know that with my plans – less than half of them can be found online, because I prefer to memorize it, so that others can’t grow big with it before I do – there’s a lot of money to be made, which is why I prefer to keep them to myself, until I’m certain that I can trust someone.

This was the first time breaking down my full business concept, of which a part originated from the fact that with the natural circumstances in the Netherlands, life can be over at any second, and from people from my class, there are currently no plans of evacuation. That’s why I came up with the recruitment aspect of the organization. Also because space is limited. This quickly led to me being compared to – as I indicated before, in the “if I were to explain and my philosophy gets misinterpreted”-situation I described a few posts back, just type the last name in the search field to find it – Adolf Hitler. Of course, the comparison was a joke, since we’re talking about uncontrollable natural circumstances here.

There was also mentioned that we should raise awareness on that life in this country could be over at any second again, via mainstream media. Everyone learns about it in school, but no one gives a fuck, otherwise I would not be alone in this paranoia about nature ending my life at any second. Primary school is made mandatory by the government. If you wouldn’t attend, there’s a whole police patrol squad that makes sure you will. Everyone has been fully educated about this in geography class.

Raising awareness via mainstream media would cause so much chaos, because no one knows what to do, or doesn’t have the resources and/or capacity to do something useful, with that information. (Remember when I was typing about this in caps lock? It already felt like I was giving away too much.)

I don’t believe in raising awareness through mainstream media, but I do believe in proposing my solution and guiding the recruitment process through mainstream media. Then at least everyone knows and thus the chances will be equal. I find equal opportunities very important. Another thing I find important is usefulness, because it’s important that my island doesn’t go to shit the way this country will, one day. That’s not me destroying it. That’s just god’s work. I didn’t chose to be born here. No one did. (Right?)

The conversation ended with me being proposed to propose the product, service or strategy that will give me that amount of money I need to buy that island I’ll fully own and thus have the full right to decide over. I actually intend it to be bought by the holding, because I don’t want to rule over it all by myself, but because it’s my idea, I do want to own the parliament. Yes, things are arranged differently on Planet Fang.

When it comes to pitching my ideas, I always have trust issues. I guess that’s part of the reason why I still haven’t truly attempted to find an investor. (I’m considering constructing my business in such a way that co-owners will all be married to me, on Planet Fang, where everything is very different. I basically have to, since I’m so in love with these Graeynissis…) But of course I make exceptions for those who are close to me, when they ask.

So now I’ll be pitching “my million dollar strategy” coming Saturday. I love a challenge. [The soon deadline was because I made clear that my way to making it big isn’t a plan for 10 years. Life here can be over at any second and I want to be able to save myself (and other (useful) people). Truthfully, I want to have earned enough to rule over that island – and really truthfully already have that compound – within twelve months. Yes, twelve months. Actually I intended to already have been there by now, but I see I really am forced to do mainstream shit ah ew.] I wonder what it will lead to. I seek passionate investors, who care about the success of the endeavor more than about commas. They’re one of a kind and hard to find… Because of the class I’m stuck in with no money or support, I basically don’t come across them. But sometimes I’m lucky…

When I was having lunch with my mother, and she asked me where I want to live when I’m back at the ANWB full-time, I told her: “Wassenaar.” Yehess that’s not affordable with the salary I’ve earned there. I don’t intend to grow old here. I didn’t even intend to really target the Dutch market – because what’s the point, if it can flood at any second – but I have fallen in love… I showed my mother: “Look at how hot my Graeyniss is,” (those were not my literal words) and she was also like woaaaaah. Ah meoww… Suddenly he’s on my mind so much… I swear omgg… Including the thought of us suddenly giving in to the attraction we feel for each other and kissing… I love the way you grab my ass in my fantasy. Our life is wild and turbulent – like our sex – like a Dutch movie. (The upper class life painted in those movies is so alien to me. It’s so interesting in a sexy way.)

In my correspondence to him I’m indirectly all like oohh noo I look relatively good so people think my intention is to fuck anyone and then especially those with brains and influence, so it’s important that it’s clear that that is fucking bullshit. I’m not a house wife.ย  I want to make a career.

But simultaneously, with the natural circumstances in this country, my survival instinct is going crazy. If I were to be stuck with someone, I swear for me it’s the best to be stuck with someone else who would, like me, say: “If I would survive the flooding of this country, I would seize power.” With my level of intelligence and the circumstances I need to survive in, it doesn’t surprise me that I’m always fucking crazy attracted to tall grey haired men in suits. [HAHA HI THEREEEE ๐Ÿ˜€ ]

For this sexy Graeyniss, I would stay in this country and be a house wife… [Still no children, though, “sorry”….] The house wife part being cooking and setting up my own business, while the regular cycle of life as we now it now – everyone working – continues, until my business is finished and I can finally overthrow the system. People would talk so much shit about us, because we would look twice as hot if we were a couple… Don’t you maybe need a date for some fancy Christmas dinner? Does anyone need a date for a fancy Christmas dinner? I don’t like Christmas, but I love dress-up occasions and any chance to hear some serious Graeyniss conversations. I’d finally be able to be myself…

I’m such a pet cat… I now have two people I call Graeynissis, of whom I’m thinking that it’s possible that they could feel the same way about me as I do about them… I hope you’ll want to share, because now I feel un-cuddle for having feelings for more than one person, and I just want to have you all all to myself and I want you all to know it from each other. I hope I’ll be enough for you in that way, in terms of love (so that you’d be able to settle for my split attention) and that you’ll still feel like you’re my one and only.

On the rest of yesterday: I took my usual types of pictures, thinking of sharing it on here as I explain to you the deatils of my day. But the conversations lasted until very late and I need to get up early today. (It’s probably also not that interesting for you. That’s why it’s all the way down here.)

I had to get fangy and eat some medium-rare meat

I didn’t go here today, but I went there on a school excursion once, and, while usually I’m not a fan of excursions, there’s such interesting meaning in the architecture, art and design of this Paleis op de Dam, so I wanted to tell you this is a must-see

New blush was one of my gifts โ™ฅ

We later went there “for dessert” ๐Ÿ™‚

This is what I selected as a gift for my family friends’ house I currently live in, for underneath the Christmas tree. How do you find my interior design vision?ย  :p

As I walked home, the sky was looking Cuddle

This is the perfume I use and wanted to buy again from my โ‚ฌ150 Christmas budget. But they don’t sell it anywhere anymore?? ๐Ÿ™ So now Lady Million Privรฉ is my new scent. The other one is an Opium eau de toilette by Yves Saint Laurent. There are multiple ones with this name, but this exact one I can’t find anywhere. It was hard to find the first time already…

Now that I feel better – I’ve been so silent for so long, I’m happy to have had some good conversations and events – it’s like my body hurts less as well. It’s probably not a good move, health wise, even though simultaneously exercise is healthy, but I already mentioned to my mother how much I miss it, and then I saw this event for tomorrow, so I could just not not sign up… There’s a little basketball event tomorrow, in the Apollohal, from 12:30 until 14:30. For โ‚ฌ4.50 you can join the poule and play 15 minute games. I’m excited! ๐Ÿ˜€ It has been so long since I played… I miss it so much! It’s too cold to play outside ๐Ÿ™ . So tomorrow I’m going ๐Ÿ˜€ .

It’s now 03:54 and I need to figure out how to make my way there and stuff tomorrow… And be early because teams will be made et cetera. I’m thus going to sleep.

I love you sooooo much

Good night (literally haha) โ™ฅ

xxx

10:04 (AM)

Good morning

I just posted this to let you know I’m awake.ย  I’m going to take a shower.

By the way, since I find it more important to succeed in my life goals than to earn, but I do need to earn [soon as fuck… I’ll also need protection soon if people are going to proclaim that I have plans for the evacuation of a hand-picked (by application and recruitment [that used to go via my book projects, in which no one paricipated – I’m mad and might change my genre to something more populist – but will now go via emailing office@docis.international]) group of people and that I still allow people from other countries on that island as citizens as well [I can do that, because these fucked up natural circumstances are not the only reason for me to run this business…. It’s also because the system is absolute shit everywhere in the world and everyone deserves to attempt to an alternative]], I’m thinking of taking some initiative as someone who doesn’t vote and dominate the shit out of these literal political Graeynissis . Oh and the king, too, hehe. By starting a political party or something else via the democratic system I’m subjected to (beetje jammer… [that I’m subjected to it haha]). Know that I consider it my responsibility, as a non-voter. But I find that those who do vote but other than that only complain in front of the television, have that same self-initiative responsibility. I’d call it “The Fang Party”. Ons hoofdstandpunt is “fuck politics” HAHAHA.

I’ll be getting ready. Don’t Judas me in the meantime ๐Ÿ˜€ xxx

~~~

11:07 (AM)ย 

HAHA ayyy seriously I have such good ideas for Dutch politics! And for the promotion of The Fang Party (vote for a chance of getting access to all compounds). I’ll make music videos for promotion (Nero style HAHA… This sounds very Hitler-like haha but I swear I’m pro equal survival chances HAHAHAHAH). If I were to seize power, the Netherlands will become part of Planet Fang as well ๐Ÿ˜€ . I’m also pro voting rights for everyone, so everyone anywhere in the world will be allowed to vote for the Netherlands. Especially women who are not allowed to vote!!!!ย 

I challenge the Dutch prime minister to a dance battle…. Maak je borst maar nat mattie I’m coming for youuu.

So my donation thing will become: Help Lil Fangs De Tweede Kamer in…. Gotta eat fast and hurry brb xxx

~~~

11:46 (AM)ย 

Hey jongens, ik voel een nieuw referendum aankomen… Ick will namelijk graeg den grootsten dele mijnes tijdes in “Hispanje” (maar dan Planet Fang) spendeeren.

I think “Den Fang Partij” is trouwens een betere naam.

LIL FANGS FOR PRESIDENT!!!

For my political economy strategy things… Benoรฎt Crutzen… IK. KIES. JOU!!! *gooit pokรฉball*

~~~

11:58 (AM)ย 

Yoo where the fuck are my earplugs :'( . I always lay them next to my bed ๐Ÿ™ . Travelling musicless sucks. My music will be played everywhere. I also have a lot of ideas for the improvement of the quality of television. I want to own 20% of all zendtijd forever for education material from Den Fang Partij.

So there should be one more colony which will be a separate island, for the Netherlands, which will be named Planet Fang if I win. Or if I’ll be able to make so much noise that there will be elections right now.

Of ik links of rechts ben? Ik ben niks mattie. Fuck dat systeem. Ik ben Lil Fangs HAHA.

Yo Rutte… Fuck jouw partij en kom gewoon bij mij ofzo?

Also, I want Vicje, Lorenzo and Sander as active members of my party…

~~~

14:10 (02:10 PM)

I’m having a lot of fun ๐Ÿ˜€ . I’m trying to get people to join me for my group picture at the end of the event. I’ve already told a few people I want to run for president and that I had that idea this morning. I want to show you I’m a people person ๐Ÿ™‚ . Vote for me ๐Ÿ˜€ โ™ฅ

~~~

15:07 (03:07 PM)ย 

When I arrived at the basketball event, I saw that I was the only girl there and teams were already made. I didn’t want to take down the pace of the games the guys were playing, so my intention was to practice some by myself for the full two hours, on the free basket.

Then later, Jozef invited me to join his team. They had to leave before the event ended, so we have a separate picture ๐Ÿ™‚ :

The team ๐Ÿ˜€

They’re all from Lebanon, except Rashid next to me, who is from Syria.

When I told them that I want to run for president here, Jozef said: “(Then) you probably don’t want us here.” His response scared me up. The way people are forced to leave their countries is outrageous, and world peace is definitely on the list of things I want to achieve!! Good living circumstances world wide, too. Of course you should be welcome here, since this country is in the top ten of weapon manufacturers. You should be treated like a king here.

Especially because I’m a person of color and I’m used to dumb racist people telling me that “I should go back to my own country” (while the Dutch nationality is my own nationality…) I for sure am not that the type of person who will discriminate people on where they’re from or what their background is. That’s the most ignorant thing people do these days.

My immediate response was: “You shouldn’t want to be here yourself, because there are no plans of evacuation for the people from our class, when this country is threatened by nature, to be flooded. That’s one of the things I want to propose a solution for when I’m elected president.”

Here are all group pictures taken, so you’re free to select your best one ๐Ÿ™‚ [Shout out to the girl with the pink jacket, who made the picture โ™ฅ ] :

Yay 1

Yay 2

Yay 3

Yay 4

Yay 5

Yay 6

Yay 7

If I were to organize a basketball event and ask people โ‚ฌ4.50 for entrance, you’d get a bottle of water and a snack. Lil Fangs for President ayy.

I just came back home. I’ve been joking about my campaign statements and programme, but I have some serious plans and I’ll entirely break them down in the free book I came up with when I was in the tram: Lil Fangs for President. I’ll get started with it today ๐Ÿ™‚ . First, I need to finish my business website and the 180 Days of Fangs article, though. Haha one project at a time…

~~~

15:54 (03:54 PM)ย 

Oh yes, why I’m not wearing basketball clothes? Because my basketball clothes and shoes are at home. I decided to look for meetups to join for today, last night, while I’m staying in Amsterdam with my family friends.

At some point I stopped playing team games, today, because my knees and ankles started to hurt. I wasn’t wearing the right shoes… I also suffered from “osgood schlatter” – a force and growth related sports injury – for quite some time, when I used to play for Rotterdam Basketball (the regular club, not eredivisie or something haha).

I then started to practice dribbling and shooting, in a walking pace, with my focus on not looking at the ball while playing. I dribbled with my eyes closed. I can show you that, as a president, I can dribble with my eyes closed, which means that my senses are very good, which shows that I’m a very alert president.

~~~

16:55 (04:55 PM)ย 

Ohh I made this picture when I gave myself a water break from practicing jump shots and lay ups and stuff, before I joined the team:

I always focus on my screen, but I guess I should look into the camera, but then I don’t know what my facial expression looks like… I need to practice my charisma more…

Lil Fangs for President will be released in both Dutch and English (the languages I can write in). If anyone wants to translate it to another language, I’ll share it for sure.

I find it important that there’s world wide attention for the situation here, in this country, since the problem here will at some point affect every single country on Earth, and I’m trying to be ahead of it. That’s why my correspondence is currently in English. I don’t know why no one else is doing this, too. Know that I have no patience for people who focus on gossip shit. I’m trying to make a serious change. I’m by the way against reading speeches from paper or a teleprompter…

I will also not be begging for votes. Voting is of course a choice, and if you want to hate on my initiative – while no one else is showing initiative the way I do, on this level – go ahead and please don’t even consider to vote. Then I have less people I’ll have to take into consideration for something that is not my responsibility. I just want to help because I’m able to, but other than that, it’s your life’s task to save yourself.

~~~

21:03 (09:03 PM)ย 

I’ve been thinking of going home for Christmas. I mentioned it during dinner. The thing that made it not easy and obvious is that my father has to allow and want me to be home, since he’s the house owner who sets the rules. Eric came with the idea to call him and ask if he finds it okay. After some internal fears, I called. He didn’t pick up. He called me when I was doing number two. When I tried to call back, I got an immediate “call ended” after pressing call, without voice mail. He also texted me to ask if I tried to call him. I said yes. He asked why. I said that it’s because I want to come home for Christmas and my sister’s birthday. (I still want to be all by myself by new year’s. I find one formality enough and do not want to reflect on last year with those who have experienced part of that hell with me.) He said fine, that’s okay and sent some love related smileys. So now I’m going home for Christmas. As a politician to be, I’ll stick to doing populist shit because I want your love ah meoww.

My god I really feel like crying and dying. I wish all of this drama just didn’t exist. Esha texted me at the right moment, asking me if I would like to join her and Elgin (the DJ I mentioned before), because he’s the first performer at a club tonight. I’m tired from playing basketball and stuff, but dancing and being with nice people will make me feel better for sure.

Sorry for not doing the “work related” [I’m not earning from it] things I mentioned today. I hope you still love me. I also hope you’ll save me from the huge task I’ve given myself when it comes to our society, in the sense that I know that’s unhealthy for me to work so much, but I can’t stop…

Also, entering politics sounds very exciting to me, but the thought of that nonsense gossip media… If there’s one thing that deep down just makes me want to ask that person what the fuck he/she is doing with his/her life and emphasize that the questions that are asked by the media 99% of the time are complete fucking nonsense. I hope it won’t give me too many palpitations ๐Ÿ™ .

I intend to stick to water tonight…

~~~

23:24 (11:24 PM)ย 

We’re in club Nova. Kendrick Lamar’s Swimming Pools is playing in the background. It’s quite rustig sill. DJ Elli-BS’s set is lit like usual.

I numb down my emotions so heavily when I’m sober, I really want to get intoxicated and feel something, but it’s not good for my health…