I’m in bed now. After sleeping, I want to touch on what happens to me during small talk, the emotional pain from seeing my relatives, a dream so big that I fear to share it with my Graeynissis because I’m afraid they’ll say no, Volta and what I call human vultures.
Sweet Dreams ♥
I love you ♥
– xxx –
13:39 (01:39 PM)
How’s your weekendd? 🙂
Mine is all right. I’m still in bed haha…. I’ll get up to do some pre-eating and “making” croissants soon. First, I’d like to start on what I wanted to say about small talk.
When I’m not talking, I’m always thinking deeply, in a very concentrated state. The creative challenge in creating a new world, is always on my mind. In silence, I try to combine the concepts I know and/or have reasoned out, and try to think of them put together, to mentally simulate that, and think of if it would last as the fundament of a new world.
Then having to let go of my train of thought, to engage in small talk, always makes me a little tense, because I worry if I’ll remember where to pick up, where I left off, when the conversation is over.
For example, I try to simulate if it’s financially healthy for both sides (so “Planet Earth” and “Planet Fang” (on the same soil(?))), when Planet Fang buys the earthly houses of its citizens, to give them Fangia (its valuta) to spend (not to buy a new house, because they get that for free), and sells, rents out or uses those houses for whatever purpose, and Planet Fang’s bank is where everyone deposits all they have, and it becomes “a collective account”. How do we then not make Planet Earth go bankrupt, how should spending restrictions for that account be stated, would people enjoy this ride… (I need sexy Graeyniss sexy expertise to answer my questions with certainty!!!) That’s what my brain is semi-working on, but then, mid reasoning process… Things like “Look at this funny video!” or “I’ll give you some advice on life, wrapped in a story about myself,” make me have to switch up what I use my brain for.
There are the most loving intentions behind it, I know that, and I love my people for that, but it’s a distraction from something that is needed and necessary for survival…
Okayy I’m going to brush my teeth and eat. Meanwhile, check this out 😀 : [haha that distracting choice of words is meant as a joke]
19:45 (07:45 PM)
Meoww I wonder what you want to read about. Or what you like to read about. That’s what I want to write. I bet that’s not the topics I listed in the beginning of this post.
But to quickly stick to my words: the acting casual, as if nothing was going on and it’s normal that I don’t want to live at home, was painful.
We should unplug all of our intellectual capital and assets out of the current system and independently create a system of our own, with our Graeyniss for Graeyniss business (land).
I want to record some Graeynissis talking about Volta, to increase sales… It sounds like the only way… It also sounds like sexy fun 😀 . To have Graeynissis talk about it, is all I write for, truthfully.
I need a solution to these “Ayy gurl where you goin’? What’s yo number?” type of people I, for some weird reason, can’t say “No please just fucking leave me alone,” to. They’re really like vultures in a way. Waiting until the prey is unaccompanied by another male. Some arm candy to fend them off and to be less lonely. I permanently don’t want to sleep alone anymore 🙂 .
23:26 (11:26 PM)
Meoww I’m off to bed. I hope tomorrow will bring me good news. I have no idea in what format I’ll be given my news. But this is the only way I have to hear something. Usually my ways of reaching out can be ignored, when they’re too different from the standard procedures, but in this case, I am entitled to hear anything about it. I don’t know how my case is interpreted from someone I don’t know personally, and usually I just don’t hear anything, but this time it would be not following the procedure, if I were ignored.
Responding to my request requires a lot of creativity! Because it stems from pure creativity. I wonder how the respondent(s) will approach it. I hope I’ll be reading a lot of positive words. A lotttt of words. It will make my heart very happy.
Meoww I’m off to bed
I love you
– xxx –