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Graeynissis

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Sunday, January 13, 2019

13:58 (01:58 PM) Good afternoon ♥ I couldn’t sleep last night, from the excitement (and light stress about the possibility of being rejected) for studying to obtain a bachelor (and hopefully being able to do this “the apprentice way”, receiving guidance for the research projects I’ve already broken down, instead of doing it via the regular homework -> test, homework -> test, homework-> test -> thesis, way). I’ve already written down what I’ll include in my motivation letter. At first I wanted to settle for only econometrics, or maybe philosophy on top of that as well, but if I’d listen…

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Saturday, January 12, 2019

00:52 (12:52 AM)  Meoww my heart rate, the warmth, slight hunger and my thoughts, are keeping me awake. I’m going to eat a Berliner bun, we also bought at the supermarket before driving here.  I’m so curious about what today will bring. I know I’m severely ill and as soon as that is officially spoken out – and my mother hears it from a source she does find trustable – I’ll have to undergo multiple forms of treatment and restore. Truthfully, I want to do all of this in Germany. I don’t even want to go back to the Netherlands…

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Thursday, January 10, 2019

13:56 (01:56 PM)  Good afternoon ♥ I hope this will be my last day in this powerless situation. Hopefully my mother hearing the news straight from the doctor instead of from me, will make her fucking realize that what I say about my health is not “a fit of schizophrenia”. I hope he can also make her (and the rest of the dumb motherfuckers who don’t believe me) realize that forcing me to work for a boss can kill me, because of the stress that is put on my heart (and the fact that I’d rather die than do that…

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