My loveeeee โ™ฅ

I’m back yays ๐Ÿ˜€

My days of being absent here are over now, because… The D.O.C.I.S. Store (opens in new tab) is now open for pre-orders! ๐Ÿ˜€

The reason why it is open for pre-orders – and not real orders yet – is that the online configuration of the store and the Book Club are done, but I need to be home to process the orders, and I’m going on a little holiday today. ๐Ÿ™‚

Meooow I’ve been working quite hard in the last few weeks… Developing my lil online empire, searching for an apartment, watching my grandmother’s house as it is being renovated, going to the gym with a friend of mine, psychotherapy sessions (with emphasis on high intelligence) in Amsterdam every week and writing some blog posts in between.

But now I’ll be chilling for a while. And hopefully see orders and subscriptions pouring in… 😻 I hope all of this work was not for nothing…

And I’ll be taking you with me, on my journey to sunny Curacao. ๐Ÿ˜€

Random pictures

Haha I was packing today and decided to check out and see how the t-shirt dress I bought today would look together with a mix of two colors of lipstick… You have not seen my face since Egmond? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

I think it’s yays. ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish I weren’t single. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway meoowww I will be sharing a lot more things with you. (A lot more things except details of who is signing up et cetera of course because that is a type of privacy even an online diary has to respect. I love keeping professional secrets. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

de buitenvrouw zwagerman

Like that this is what I’ll be reading before I re-read 1984

But after my lil powernap… We’re going to start driving at like 7 AM and now it’s past 04:30 AM… I was making sure that my store is finished (though I still want to add a lot more things to the assortment… At least it functions properly, the front page has had a make over, all legal documents are up to date, et cetera…) I really can’t wait until the online community environment I’ve created is in use!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

Your voice is important ๐Ÿ™‚

Ah the idea that we could be voting and sharing thoughts with newly made international friends, and doing projects together and stuff… I reallyyy hope you will sign up!

Meowww I’ll be napping… xxxxxxxx


Updated 04:38 (AM) [GMT +2]
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Good morning ๐Ÿ™‚ ♥

How was your night?


Mine was veryyy short, but my sleep itself was comfortable.

I’m already in airplane mode though, hehe:

Zzzzzz ahahaha

That shopping bag in the back of the picture is what our family friends in Amsterdam will be given along with two cars to keep in front of the house to save parking costs.

Had I already shared that I have changed the policy for the Book Club in such a way that now both Online members and Full members can be authors for The Fangs? ๐Ÿ˜€

Hmmm by the way, the last few times I was on a long trip from home, I shared everything here and all went well. I don’t want to jinx it but I just want to share this… ๐Ÿ˜€

Meoow I’m going to put this phone away. I have a flight of near 10 hours ahead of me…

Meanwhile I’m at the check-in.

Hehe I downloaded Doom for the Nintendo Switch last night. ๐Ÿ˜€ #Graeynissis

Speaking of Graeynissis… You should really read the post written by Graeynissis, on The Fangs. (Opens in new tab.)

Ah and this flight will be one with one of the last 737’s, I heard… (Tense…)

See you later. ♥


Updated 09:26 (AM) [GMT +2]



I’m still in the Netherlands, because we missed our flight. I misread our ticket and assumed 10:55 – our flight time – was the time of our gate closing. In hindsight, it was very clearly written on my boarding pass I hadn’t read ๐Ÿ™ :

Oops x_x

Our before-flight list of tasks was: buying shag (father), buying books/magazines (mother) and eating something (sister and I)/having coffee (mother).

I thought they call names through the intercom when passengers are late, but by the time we arrived at the gate, they were already taking our luggage out of the plane. My father could have gotten on it, still, because he wasn’t eating or having coffee at an airport restaurant…

Yes, the reason why we were late x_x

“Relax, they’re not leaving without us (and I assumed 10:55),” was what I said right before he advanced ahead and my sister and I were still eating.

My mother, sister and I arrived at the gate in the middle of a debate about why we should still go on board. We’ve been in situations like this often enough to know how everyone responds. My father fights his anger as he debates about why things should go his way, my mother is in light panic and defends my father, my sister and I respond quite neutrally.

After the stewardess who still got on board received a sarcastic “Enjoy your flight. Letting us get on that plane is quicker than taking our luggage out,” I tried to save the flight personnel from a further escalation, asking what the usual procedure is when one misses a flight. There was another flight leaving in about two hours later, and we had to go to a certain desk to rebook our flight.

At that desk, we were too late to get tickets for the other flight, so now we’re flying tomorrow…

This will now forever be a thing. “Quadruple check your boarding time.”

Meowww I’m going to have some dinner and then share what else is and has been on my mind…


Updated 20:20 (08:20 PM) [GMT +2]
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A Feeling that is Hard to Describe

When we were told that we were not allowed to get on the plane anymore, and everything thus went a lot different than I had expected it to go, my brain entered this “slow motion observer mode” state. Observing the situation and seeing what the best quick solution is.

And meanwhile, I also thought of how small the chance of ending up in that situation was, because about 6 weeks ago, I wasn’t even planning to accompany my family to Curacao. It were my intentions to stay home while they were there, because I considered that something that suits the word “holiday” better. But when my mother told me of how my sister does not like to travel by plane alone – for she has school and my parents want to stay for a week longer – I somehow let myself be talked into this holiday. I’ve found peace in it, looking forward to enjoy tropical nature, nice weather (for more comfortable clothing (because dresses are the ultimate yays to me)), live music and a different crowd.

But when it comes to the tension in this family, I think I have reached my max. Ever since all that happened in 2017, our situation has already been more tense than usual.

I already barely have something to talk about with them, aside from the tension, our past and some regular anecdotes. And now with this “we missed our flight for no reason and that cost my father โ‚ฌ700” situation on top of that, plus the rest of the family (from Suriname and the Netherlands) waiting in Curacao (we will be staying in my aunt’s holiday apartment there, with a group of 11 people)… Ugh, meow… x_x.

Guess what our topic of conversation will be when we arrive. (Plus my suitcase is already there and my aunt’s suitcase will fly along with us tomorrow…)

In “slow motion observer mode”, I thought: “God, I want to be alone. And I want to relax. My brain still needs to decompress from working on my business with very little sleep or rest. I really wish that I had my apartment in Antwerp (anywhere abroad, honestly) already. Though I see no way to accomplish that anytime soon… We can’t not go to Curacao, because it is impossible to decompress if we suddenly don’t go at all anymore.” I’m really glad that we can still go. Now I appreciate the holiday even more than before.

It is my intention to decompress, there. Though, honestly, I don’t know how to do that. Gaming, exercising, writing, making music and even talking are very pressuring activities to me, because I always feel the need to make it “the best thing I have ever done”.

Swimming is very relaxing to me, especially from the way it feels and how much I love the sound of water, so much that I find it hard to get out of the pool or sea when my body is starting to tremble from fatigue.

The D.O.C.I.S. Store

And though decompression is my aim, I still want to finish my “Evolving individualism in the 9 – 5 economy” essay, write my wikipedia pages (for D.O.C.I.S. International, “Lil Fangs” and The D.O.C.I.S. Book Club… Plus actually also Fangyism and Project Nosce Te Ipsum, but I don’t see those topics get accepted into the encyclopedia…) and practice some mathematics… Plus maybe still work on The D.O.C.I.S. Store some more. But putting effort in that last thing might be wasted energy…

I should be marketing my store and my book club. But I can’t, for I need my last money for stock management in case people decide to order books and/or sign up for the book store.

My prices are calculated in such a way that every purchase is also an investment in a various range of process components (packaging material, personalized gifts, books in stock, D.O.C.I.S. editions (hardcovers with an introduction written by me), web development (mobile apps, desktop apps, marketing, the development of my programming language called Scorpio…) et cetera… ๐Ÿ˜€ )

But to market The D.O.C.I.S. Store with its odd pricing sounds like something I shouldn’t be doing. Also, I’m aiming for a specific kind of audience, so I don’t want to attract too much attention with something that is not fully established yet (as in I’m doing everything by myself and the Book Club does not have any members yet (for I am “Graeynissis”). I’m looking for people who don’t need much further explanation, so that I can form a sample group with them and use material of D.O.C.I.S. International in (interactive) practice as marketing material.

So that when they see what we are doing, they want to join in, too, and understand it. But I have nothing to prognosticate anything D.O.C.I.S. International’s future related with. I need a miracle…

Meoow I wish I had an investor. ๐Ÿ™

The next update I’ll probably share when I’m in Curacao, hoping to have some yays for us. (Though mild yays because I feel the strong need to be alone for a while, or be with a Graeyniss… Also because I feel sooo kissy… Why is Victishe so hard to get? ๐Ÿ™ Any cat Graeyniss is hard to get. ๐Ÿ™ )

See you in less than 24 hours! Hopefully with the yaysss. (Hopefully spotting you anywhere. I’d like to hang out with someone who is my mental age (666).) ♥

By means of not pressurizing myself anymore, I’ll be laying in bed while staring at the ceiling, instead of working on the assortment (adding my own books to it… Haha hadn’t even done that x_x).


Updated 23:55 (11:55 PM) [GMT +2]
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