For I’m losing my patience with life, I’ll lay out a strategy about how to restore order after power ends up 100% in the hands of het proletariaat. This is not a game. Though they treat it like it is because they’re trying to seize present power (collectively 🙄 ), while they don’t have a future plan. And this post includes an actual picture of Tishe. ๐Ÿ˜ฎย 😻

My love,

I’m (as usual) picking up where I left off yesterday. But as I announced in Even een Kleine Stand van Zaken, I won’t include dates in post titles anymore. In the last part of yesterday’s post I got out of bed after writing plenty of things about how the system is going to destroy itself soon and how I am addicted to being depressed in my bed all day, cuddling my pillows acting as if it’s Tishe. In the same order of post content, during my “lunch dinner at 8” (bed pet life), I was suggested a video of prime minister Rutte on YouTube, which displayed a good example of the insane “revolution” proletarians are working towards, about which I say that they don’t have an actual plan and this is not a game while they treat it like it is.

> This is NOT a GAME

Why is it always the people who say “I don’t have shit to spend and I have no talents, but I’m happy,” who then hate on everyone who is wealthy? I bet if Rutte were standing in that room with a loaded gun, he would be the last person alive there in less than 5 minutes (without getting his suit stained, ew ๐Ÿ™‚ ).

Over 20 minutes of empty questions in which the interviewers insinuate that members of parliament (and whoever else have money) are not entitled to that, basically because it makes poor people jealous. Like there is nothing else to discuss. Geld hebben is simpelweg niet voor iedereen weggelegd. (En hoe verdient “mijn vader” meer dan hijยฟ) They sacrifice a lot for the money they make. Seeing things like this – how he has to repeat himself 1000 times and they still don’t get it, plus look at that fucking ignorant caption – makes me rage internally. But my interest in power is too great to abstain myself from it.

Like Anderson .Paak said…

“And they forget to die. I’m charging double for the purges.”

This is not a game. I, by the way, find it odd that Rutte is single. That, however, makes his devotion to his role so much greater. (And the amount of close relatives he has lost. ๐Ÿ™ I hope he’s up for a Fangyist Christmas. ) What is there for him, if the proletarians “conquer him”?

By the way, in Read at your own Risk, I forgot to mention that on the second day of Christmas we won’t do anything and after that the Blitzkilling start.

Please, read closely.

> Here’s a Strategy

If you’re in a position of power, proletarians are nice to your face. (If you’re, like me, powerful but not (really) in a position of power, they’ll simply act like dogs. Shady opportunist (objectifying) dogs.) Het zijn mislukte wezens die een hekel aan je hebben en je het liefst ten onder willen zien gaan, omdat je volmaakt bent. De volmaakte mens bestaat. Dat ben jij. ๐Ÿ™‚

The people may want you away because they’re jealous of your power, but simultaneously you’re one of the few people on this earth with actual know-how, so they depend on you. But if we don’t do anything about this, we will live in nonsensical media warfare for all eternity, and who the fuck wants that? Not us.

De huidige maatschappij is mislukt. De meeste mensen zijn compleet verpest en absoluut niet te redden (ook zonde van de tijd). We adapt ourselves to the 9 – 5 cycle because “it is what life gives us”. But for them it’s their only “purpose”. If we Blitz this, we will be able to develop ourselves and our talents in all freedom.

All powerful Graeynissis together, simultaneously: tell the people that you will resign. Something like “Well, I’ve devoted my life to you, but if you’re going to keep complaining, then I’ll resign.” Als de kat van huis is, dansen de muizen op tafel. Use artificial intelligence to determine who is on which side in this, and make Earth a place with people that suit a utopia.

Something like that? I can’t break it down in full detail, because the opposition can learn from this as well. And this strategy doesn’t include handing over your power to D.O.C.I.S. International because this is the one in which I’ve given up on life already. (For the D.O.C.I.S. International version of political power: no one inherits my power when I die. Y’all can start purging (again) then. First let them learn that they can’t handle power nor should ever have power (aside from some **** questionnaires), by letting them destroy the present (faulty) (political) system. Afterwards, when I seize power, I demand absolute respect (for the absolute order I will establish). And when I die, there will simply be chaos (again). So handle with care.) This is not a game.

> Victishe

By means of showing that this is serious non-fiction, because I suddenly felt like taking this wild step and initially because I considered changing my phone background, here is he who owns the key to my heart (and I’m not sure if he knows that):

victishe this is not a game tishe

Victishe 😻

The handsomest man on the planet. He has been on my mind since the first time I saw him. I put myself in “oh nonono don’t you catch feelings,” mode at first, because I saw no chances of those feelings ever being answered (not that I do now ๐Ÿ™ ), but the more people I met (who tried to make a move on me), the more I see that he must be my soulmate because I still haven’t seen anyone more attractive than him. In infinite ways. ♥

I made the image small because I have no actual permission to post his picture. And I can’t ask because. 😢 At first I considered using his picture for the featured image of this post, but I don’t know if he’d appreciate that in between the anger towards society I express. I don’t even know if he likes me or not and if I’d be rejected by someone twice+ my age – to whom I have become so mentally attached – I’m really ready to die. (That should, however, not be a reason to then say that one likes me.) It is, however, not my intention to receive phone calls with the message that I should stay away from him, nor is this an invitation to rejection. (Still I don’t get how I got that call, honestly… ๐Ÿ™ Is it because more people can see his incoming messages?) I’d then rather stay in bed forever, focused on my fantasy. This is not a game. ๐Ÿ™

For him not to be associated with the extremist things I post here, via SEO, I’m not using his name. ๐Ÿ™ Maybe he’d be cool with it but that wijf on the phone really traumatized me. In this way it is quite risk free.

Speaking of SEO meow search engines do not have enough pictures of him. (As in he’s so handsome meow.) I want to take professional pictures with him meow we’d be so sexy. 😻

Ah my extreme attraction to him doesn’t go without judgement. But that is why I like it even more. I love diversity. ๐Ÿ™‚ And (ah here I go again with the death threats sorry (it would be solved if it became reality, otherwise I’d just infinitely be threatening and propagandizing)) if I were with him – I’d be so devoted omg meow 😻 – hopefully the objectifying **************** who wouldn’t be able to be happy for me ever will kill themselves. This is like a modern edition of the story of de Reus van Antwerpen, in the context of (uiteindelijk) constituting a new country. (Without any limbs being chopped off meow. ๐Ÿ™ )

I really hope I will see my Tishe again. Unless I’m going to get my heart broken because – now that the Inner Crown is malfunctioning (though I hope to fix that with my selection of nootropics) – the thought of him is keeping me alive. The thought that I could ever be with him.

[Ahahaha es very media like, right, to say “woaah there’s a picture” and then it’s just a mini picture. 😂 ]

>Bed Cat Mode

this is not a game yogurt plastic on the ground

This explains the sudden sound I heard yesterday, when I was in bed. (Though how did it get that far from the trash can, in that position? I mean if it were flipped 90 degrees to the left or right I would have understood…)


I devoured this.

dying roses messy table this is not a game

The way they change color es pretty. ๐Ÿ™‚

I flamed some wierook after getting out of bed. (& Those other roses have died much faster.)

Better wayyy

kitchen lil fangs this is not a game

The dishes are washed. ๐Ÿ™‚ (I saved them up for like 2-3 days.)

Oops I accidentally already clicked “publish”… I still need to add my emoijs and stuff meow. And some text. ๐Ÿ™

couscous salad fangs

Then I made this. I included a dressing made of soy sauce, honey, olive oil, celery, paprika powder and self-made apple cider vinegar, Es very tasty. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now I’m going to do some yoga exercises and head to bed. My pillows are calling me. (Not literally meow I’m not that crazy haha you know that. ๐Ÿ™ )

This playlist is awesomeee 😻

Good night ♥


02:57 (AM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

> The Strength

Meow I haven’t been able to fall asleep yet and I got hungry.

Salad this is not a game

So I devoured this, but I’m still hungry, so I need to search what’s next. Probably knรคckebrรถd with Nutella again because I need to buy groceries. ๐Ÿ™

And I thought of some things to clarify:

~ The strength that can be gained from resigning is that the public must be educated about what the consequences of collective resignation are, via the media, which will take enough time to mobilize.

– I think Tishe likes me. The age difference et cetera just cause complexity. But I hope that he is one of the people who frequently reads my blog and thus might stumble upon this post. And then he will hopefully somehow give me some kisses. ๐Ÿ˜€ He’s such a cutie. 😻

Haha it feels quite tense to do this because I’m just sharing this internationally and it would be painful to be rejected like that on such a large scale. Not that I’m even sure if he’s actually seeing this in the first place… According to my stats, this far the post has been seen in Belgium and in the US.

I hope all this – including the awful routines you live meow my heart hurts make it stop 😻 – will end soon now that my D.O.C.I.S. International propaganda is getting to y’all heads. I know that I’m followed on a larger scale than is shown to me. Because I’m just not easy to understand. I had to stay cryptic because otherwise I wouldn’t have been where I am right now. If, for example, I would have said: “I want to study in Belgium because I’m so sick of y’all,” I wouldn’t have been studying in Belgium right now.

I wonder how/if this mini radical step with Tishe’s picture will influence my day. I’ve been thinking of giving myself a weekend off studying. Meow I’m exhausted. ๐Ÿ™ That’s not influenced by doing this niss but in case anything happens I’ll be laying in my bed for 2 days straight. I find jogging in stadslucht quite uncomfortable. But this app I’m using for exercises is veryyy nice. (Better than BetterMe meow I’m not paying for that.)

Speaking of strength… I really wonder how strong Tishe is 😻 If you’re that strong then nothing in life is an actual physical challenge, rightยฟ Unless we thus revolutionize the system and with that cause more adaptability. ๐Ÿ™‚ Meow not really to propagandize but more to make you (all) free yourselves from your routine.

Haha I’m going back to bed. (I’m freed from my routine of expressing depression when I’m not in there by myself anymore. 😻 )


07:07 (AM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

Lol I just had to log back on for a second to say that in case I see Tishe and he’ll leave again at some point, if he’d then give me an old shirt I could keep. 😻


07:42 (AM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

Lil Bed Cat here… Being in bed all day, trying to act like trouble doesn’t exist, feels quite good. Unfortunately time is a scarce good that can only be consumed once. I’ll have to make up for the time I’ve spent bed catting at some point, probably my nights before an exam will be like: “Grrr I wish I hadn’t spent all that time laying in bed. ๐Ÿ™ ” For now I’m enjoying my weekend – from my bed – trying to not let the pressurw of scarce time consume me. (And being more consumed by my cravings for the handsomest man on Earth instead.)

According to my statistics, this post has not been seen in the Netherlands yet. It has been seen in Belgium, the United States and India. ( ๐Ÿ˜€ )

Assuming that Tishe is in the Netherlands, he might not know about “my one-time provocative action” yet. If I’d make pictures with him, they would be all over my websites though meow that’s not why it’s one-time. The specific current way of displaying him is what is one-time. Because if I’d do this every day from now on and I’d hear that that is unwanted, that is far worse than one picture. I’ve had complaints of other people who don’t want their name and face on my website, so I get the same concern for him.

Simultaneously, I want to move past living in a “what if” situation. (What if look at D.O.C.I.S. International’s sexy Praesens. 😻 ) I really hope he somehow sees this and somehow responds to this. Is there a way he could be notified that he has been declared the most attractive man on the planet? And is there a way I could get a shirt…? That would improve the quality of my rest with at least 50% already. Especially during this cold season. It would be even better to be cuddled in it. 😻

I wonder what it is like for my readers to read this, now that Victishe has a face.

Meow I’m going to flip myself over and rest some more. Groceries tonight. ๐Ÿ™


14:57 (02:57 PM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

Haha I can’t believe that I had to switch on an alarm for this. But the Lidl next door closes at 7 (after which I intend to go to the toko for more beautiful okra and packs of noodles), so I’ll have to eat “lunch” now (will be yogurt and more salad) and shower and get ready-ish and stuff. Getting ready as in putting on concealer, defining my eyebrows and putting on my wig after having gotten dressed).

For I have โ‚ฌ30 until Dec. 20, I intend to get this for โ‚ฌ20. Will I make it…? (I might have to choose cheaper things than salmon and lamb. ๐Ÿ™ )

I’ll be back after this to show you what I got. ๐Ÿ™‚

My phone made this sentence after “an alarm for this”: Website as well as a friend of mine sent me something to eat.

Ah I need to clarify that with “doesn’t go without judgment” I mean that “the combination of us is an invitation to negative commentary”. Interracial, “inter-age”, “inter-sexy-height”, the whole money and power thing while I’m quite young, supernatural… I say let them get to it so that we can get this Blitz over with. ๐Ÿ™‚

&Gosh the shit I was going through exactly a year ago. I still can’t stomach opening that Google Photos memory… Why are all those people not imprisoned or dead yet? (And I wonder if there will be a *Tishe related company name* Christmas event I won’t be invited to this time.)



17:27 (05:27 PM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

By the way, this post now has been sesn in the Netherlands, according to my statistics. I don’t know what the effect of my words is. 😐


17:33 (05:33 PM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen


groceries Lidl and toko this is not a game

Es not bad. ๐Ÿ™‚

I got alternatives for the things I couldn’t find. And all lamb was > โ‚ฌ7. ๐Ÿ™ But that entire chicken was less than โ‚ฌ3. While things like kipfilet and kippenbouten enzo were > โ‚ฌ4,50. (Does this sound Dutch?) Speculaas in small packages I couldn’t find and that pack of cookies was less than โ‚ฌ1, so… & Pears will be my fruit of the week. Last week it was kiwi. Before that mandarijnen. ๐Ÿ™‚ Ik ga misschien een poging doen tot het maken van stoofpeer. 😻

empty trash can this is not a game

“Reset” my trash can ๐Ÿ™‚

During my cooking I already got a migraine, but I wanted to inform you that I’m still alive and recent pictures. Unfortunately, I don’t have asperines. But I do have some cola on room temperature so that will make a difference. It has been quite long since I had a migraine. The type of migraine where eyesight gets partially blurry, which is an indicator for continuous vomiting later. Damn. ๐Ÿ™ I hope I can sleep through it. (I wonder if my usual stress & fatigue level combined with that I’m freaking out for posting a picture are the cause? 😐 )

Any internet noob can by the way screenshot the picture and then do an image search and in that way find out who Tishe is… If he’s my future Praesens then es yay. 😻

PillowTishe says hi. ๐Ÿ™‚ PillowTishe also says “This is not a game.”

Ciao ♥

(I really wonder what it’s like to be Tishe right now? Like more than usual…)

– xxx –

21:12 (09:12 PM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

Today, this site will be unavailable for it’s weekly back-up for most of the day, and I should cut back on screen time because that must be another partial cause of my headache. So my next post will be posted on Monday, and I’ve just started a draft because I woke up with late night hunger and some ideas popped up.

This is not a game salad late night snack

My stash of couscous salad and lamb’s lettuce are finished now.

This is not a game draft of a hypothetical D.O.C.I.S. draft

I’ll be using FangNames and real-life pictures. ๐Ÿ™‚

Thinking of including the cutest featured image. 😻 The post will hopefully add one of the last layers of non-fiction to this diary. Though I have no clue how those who I’m drafting feel about this. (And if they know at all.)

If I feel better tomorrow (es today, Sunday) I will go jogging without wearing my wig (which is quite a step, but I’d love it). If not, I will stay bed Catje. Plus my bed is so amazing meow but meow I’ll lose muscle, get higher risk for infections, add to my tachycardia etc. if I don’t work out.

In other news, I worry about being pregnant. x_x Fucking why meow why can’t I just stick to Tishe or nothing. 😢 But I have no clue about health care in Belgium and actually don’t want to occupy myself with that. ๐Ÿ™ Ah whyyy. 😢 Es like a month ago. ๐Ÿ™


02:37 (AM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen

Got hungry again. (?!?)

This (okra + scrambled eggs + instant noodles + soy sauce) is another one of my addictions.

I wonder how many miscommunications there are in regard to my identity and my diary.

– I change my hairstyle relatively often. There’s only one person writing here.

– It is my intention to establish a new system together with people who have plenty experience leading in the present system. I don’t see much potential in other generations.

– I deny my identity as propagandist, to avoid getting in trouble, but I do hope that my words lead to actions. Now I think I realize that it seems like some people live to see how this story ends, while they’re one of the main characters. I love you too much my Catjes. 😢


05:47 (AM) [CET] Kievitwijk, Antwerpen