04:34 (AM) 

Meowss chapter 2 isn’t finished yet… But I’m loving it a lot more, now that I’ve summarized the cause of my current feelings. The next step is explaining those feelings in detail, and explaining the feelings I want to have in detail. That’s what I’ll be doing today. In one of Amsterdam’s public libraries, because even though the temperature will fluctuate between 0 and – 6 degrees Celsius: I have been indoors for far too long. I hope it won’t be too slippery outside, because I’ll be carrying my laptop bag in my hand. (The shoulder cord broke, in my second to last year of high school… That’s how long I have it… I’m sustainable… And not having that much money… Plus, my taste is overly specific.)

The book is 42 small pages now. (But there’s a chapter to finish and a few chapters to write, still.) I want it to be a “pocket”-sized book. Clarity is important, but so is thickness, for this pocket guide. (Isn’t that Graeyniss? 😀 ) 

The summary is part of the example of my “how to flip your life over” method. It has worked in the past, for me, but then, I didn’t have any external factors interfering. The renewed method, includes how to cause that shift, and don’t allow external factors to fuck shit up. 

I’m going to brush my teeth and go to sleep. 

I love you so much

I hope you’ll love my new book! ♥

Good night


14:08 (02:08 PM) 

Good afternoon 😀 ♥

I’ll be visiting the public library of Amsterdam today, to work on Volta. It’s going to be a very cool book! 😀  There’s a lot of diversity in its content, the way the content of the Nosce Te Ipsum series is diverse. But this book is more promotable than that series is! I’ll be doing its marketing on the platforms I release them on. Facebook and Instagram have increased my web traffic in the past, but I (still) haven’t found an audience that understands and appreciates my one-of-a-kind content… I’m keeping my fingers crossed for these Graeynissis…! 

I mentioned something about “counter media” by means of correcting for that false publicity and clearing my name, but now I think it’s best to keep things silent until the tangibles of my thesis are done, because I’m afraid a lot of people might whine about wanting to miss out on mandatory ugh like making tests et cetera. But the work I’ll do instead will be three times as hard and four times as challenging… And I want to be far ahead of any competition 😀 . Just kidding… I like competition, when it’s creative. Nevermind. Let people whine and try to do the same as I do 🙂 . The bar is very high. 

Currently, I’m making my first meal of the day: a fried egg (ft. tomatoes, thyme and okra) with mashed parsnip. 

I often improvise something with whatever ingredients I find

I might also buy clothes in case I might be invited to meet some Graeynissis soon… Or maybe it’s better to do that online… Maybe I’ll just treat myself to a good meal somewhere. But I need to keep some cash aside for marketing my book and maybe taking a train to Rotterdam for that meeting. Haha meoow I really hope my offer won’t be refused, because the other paths to my Volta are very long. And this one is like literal magic 😀 . 

Gotta flip this egg xxx


16:25 (04:25 PM) 

I’m in the metro on my way to the library now. I think I’ll stop for some food, before I go there. 

In Volta, I have minimalized my use of brackets. It’s suitable for a larger reach than the Nosce Te Ipsum series is, also because the content is more interesting for a greater diversity of people. Everyone wants to get the best out of life, and seeks methods for this. Not everyone is excited about being a research subject. Both book series include the encouragement of self-reflection, though. 

Haha I’m already tired – from my fucked up sleeping schedule. But I intend to keep up working on Volta in the library, so that I “have a reason” to wear makeup (it’s more of an excuse than a reason haha), walk, not wear sweatpants, be outside, et cetera. It’s also way better for my concentration, I think. And I intend to go to sleep before twelve tonight, so that I can go to the library earlier. I’m not going to the university library here, because they have a strange policy for non-students and I like working until closing time (if not past it…) 🙂 . 


17:12 (05:12 PM) 

The public library of Amsterdam looks very pretty 🙂 . 

Haha struggling to find the right page to show you in this picture:

Haha me treating myself with some food, looks very different from when my parents take me along to whatever restaurant

But I’m enjoying my nerd session 🙂 . The progress is looking well. But my second chapter just keeps getting longer and longer, and I’m now at “topic I want to touch on” 2 out of three [breaking grammar rules meoww yaay]. Haha this deadline will be a tight one, again. I’ll make it, though, and my content won’t look rushed! Haha why do I always find it more important to stick to my words? (Yeah because I can’t stand it when people point out that I haven’t. Those fucking hypocrites hahahaha.) 

I’ll be writing xxxx


19:27 (07:27 PM) 

Haha meoww discussing incoming mail (“post”) over text = tachycardia. I received another set of letters from the Dutch Tax Agency:

I’m confused? I never used that aftrek and there was no profit to account for? Only business expenses I didn’t mention, so actually I should get a tax back, but fuck the paperwork? Does this person want me to pay that? 


21:55 (09:55 PM) 

Meoww chapter 2 is done! It’s a fun read 😀 . I’m exhausted! I’m on 57 pages now. No more writing for today! Besides preparing the paper summary for tomorrow, so that I won’t divagate too much. And sharing my thoughts with you 😀 . Haha shitt I’ve typed so much since What to not include in a motivation letter, I should change it to “keep an eye on my home page”. I’ve tried a newsletter, but no one signed up. Luckily, in retrospect, because that would give me even more writing deadlines. 

It’s so cold outside that it feels as if my nose is about to freeze off… I’m on my way back home. I’m wearing my Timberlands heels, because those are the only shoes with a profile that won’t make me slip. I thought, when I left… I now realize that I have a semi-formal pair of Timberlands in Amsterdam as well. (Most of my belongings are in Capelle, at my parents’, but most of my useful and valuable ones are in Amsterdam, with me. My outmost valuable belongings are with that bitch who stole my bag, in Berlin, of course. 

My poor external hard drives 🙁 . My notebook… Letters from a Stoic… My wallet, my passport, my driver’s license, that leather wallet for my business cards, my jewelery… 🙁 . I’ll never get over that x_x. I just want it back x_x. I would fang her. I think it’s that girl who asked me to zip up her dress, after which I was a bit out of focus, because I found her attractive. She was saying all kinds of things in German, but when I’m nervous, I can basically only speak Dutch, or bad English. I think in my rush to leave and not faint, I didn’t put my bag into my locker. If this would have happend in at the gym in Capelle, it wouldn’t have been stolen. But in Spandau, criminality is on a different level. The person where I used to stay at, regularly offered me stolen shit. Fucking immoral ugh. I wish there were a tracking device in my Toshiba hard drive 🙁 . There’s soooooo much personal history on that niss. And the disk was already starting to make the noises of wear and tear, when reading data, so it had to be treated with care 🙁 . Haha meoww this grief I feel x_x.

I’m almost home 🙂 . I’m just going to call it home. I feel more at home here anyway. But it’s still unnatural… I hope Volta will sell and that the Erasmus University will bring me good news 🙂 . That’s my current “plan A”… 

I’m at my stop. Gotta walk xxxx 


23:35 (11:35 PM) 

I often walk while working on a post, but today, I had to literally keep my balance and look out for the places with the least ice on the ground. 

I’m too tired to do my pre-writing homework now, so I’ll do it tomorrow, before leaving. 

I look forward to tomorrow, because I love to write 🙂 . Sucks that I don’t get paid for it hahaaa. I’ll stick to my deadline, because people might know/remember/have saved the date, when they’ve figured out the frequency in my release dates. Meoww I hope for purchases… And that everything will be shipped out to the online stores in time… I also need to design the cover. If I’m done by the end of the weekend, I’ll make it. 

Oh my god, this tax thing x_x. I’ve never accounted for all of my losses. I’ve always just filled out a 0, because it’s about very small amounts of money. (Relatively small… For me, it’s actually a lot.) But if I say that in a mail, they’ll want to raid my room for sure x_x. Haha they might bust my father. 

Meoow I can barely keep my eyes open… I’m going to sleep.

I love you 🙊

Good night ♥

xxx –