I can’t stand when I edit an online document and the connection drops and then it doesn’t save the recently added text x_x. 

Tomorrow, I have nothing to do but writing. That’s nice :D. 

The performance night was nice! It gave me a lot of things to think about and it brought back a lot of memories. 

I smoked some weed, cleaned the tea boiler and made myself tea, analyzed my statistics like I do daily – just like a lot of reasoning in silence – and as usual, I feel the need to write everything down that is on my conscious at the end of the day, so that I ponder about it less when I go to sleep. 

Something I would really like to see change is the basic format of a performance night. It is always “introduction speech, first performances, [break,] last performances, thanking”. For the benefit I want to organize and host myself, as Praesens of Re-Illu, I would like to propose a different format. There will be seven breaks and no introduction speech. I would like to do the introduction performance, and then the program could be followed by speeches and then I later tune in as a host. Maybe some more music, maybe more talking or more interactive things. Hopefully followed by me hosting the auction and the moment – in tune with the “webminar” – people can buy their charity gifts online. 

That could be after the release of D.O.C.I.S… It’s very hard for me to find investors. That’s what I hope to change with this free ebook. 

now I’m going to meditate in a stretching position and go to sleep

If I were to listen to my body, I would say: “Fuck this deadline.” “Het is als trekken aan een dood paard.” That is a Dutch saying. Literally translated, it’s: “It’s like pulling a dead horse.” It means: “That moment when you are trying to get people excited and they just keep staring at you.”

I love you so much

I hope that someone will say “fuck it” since I don’t ever have a security team near me and my KvK registration number [it’s my personal identification number as tax registration number, in the business owner category] directs you to my home address and help me because I can only get medical assistance in Germany, because here the health care system says “Less is more.” [JUST LIKE MY INTERPUNCTION HAHA] And that the moment I will never live with mister and misses Elia [“my parents”] again will come way sooner. Does someone understand that I need more money for my health? There are white blood cells in my urine. I’m very approachable if you reach out to me first and you don’t say dumb shit :D. I don’t have energy for dumb shit :D. And emoji coding x_x. 

We will succeed, my pesce. At some point, it will stop being just a fantasy… Just an idea you keep explaining to yourself so that you don’t forget it. [I’m immune to your meds now, ma :D.] Something that is now only a topic of conversation, because it’s not part of my life yet. Something that makes me feel so happy when I think about it and forget everything else around me. And then it makes me feel grief when I realize that I’m still stuck in my own routine. I’ve lived in this house SINCE I WAS 8. 

I WANT MY PAPA :'[. Does anyone know where he is? I don’t know where he lives. I only have the information I got from his public page, but he doesn’t respond anymore when I try to reach him. 

Ah meoow

I dooon’t want to sleep alone :[.

Plus, this is A VERY TOUGH AUDIENCE, so I would really appreciate the assistance of him and his fellow Graeynissis 😻.

But I have no other option than saying

Good night ♥



Getting out of bed is such a challenge… I just finished eating. I made this picture before I started: [by means of indicating that I ate before 14:10… That’s still way too late for a first meal of the day, though]

The mail isn’t mine

I wonder if people ever looked up my address and tried to send me a letter. Ohh for non-Dutch people: it’s by searching the number in the footer of this page in “het Handelsregister“. My mother is the type of person who intercepts my mail to read through it. The only way I would find out she’s doing this – if there’s one thing I hate, it’s “family secrets” – is by that person who sent me the letter still reaching out to me in a different way. I wish I could write people… Typing more than 8 hours a day is not good for my piano fingers. 

They say you should keep your personal information private, because people are crazy “these days”.  I’m going against those forms of indoctrination, to prove that they are absolute nonsense, as you might have noticed. I’ve been at it from the start and I’m still alive. My anonymous audience – the fixed number of unknown visitors – grows daily. The only thing we need to guarantee ourselves, is that we can assemble ourselves as a group, without being ambushed by the people who actually are crazy – for being crazy self-preservative and their willingness to rather destroy the entire economic system than do what is good for all of us, which is something I’m trying to end, especially because they have no idea what they’re doing, since the system has been made up once – trying to stop us from succeeding in our mission for eternal peace. 

After some tea and some more food – still hungry – I’ll get ready to write down the essence of my business plans muy rapidooooo. In D.O.C.I.S.. By means of self-reference while writing:


  • I will succeed in creating a parallel system
  • I will never stop
  • My intentions are harmless. My persistence is because I want to grow old in a peaceful world


  • Observation is, in my system, meant for knowing when to step in to help someone
  • There is a broad range of purposes in the new system, which are fully adaptable to the personality of the person coming to live in it
  • The system of economical accountability, within the new system I want to create, doesn’t allow for fraudulent behavior.


I had a random encounter with a friend of my sister’s. I don’t know where my sister is. I was still at rest before she left.

When I was smoking just now, I was searching for “sportieve (sportive) laarzen (boots)”. “Adi Dassler”… On the Adidas website, I searched for boots for wintersport… 

Fam… The cheapest are €279.59….. 

The weather is so cold here x_x. 

I feel like on December 17th, I need to stop accepting money from the Dutch government (“Zorgtoeslag en Studiefinanciering”) from then, there are the payment dates [twintig (20) december en vierentwintig (24) december].  I want to start earning for myself. It’s cold as fuck and I need boots……

I haven’t earned anything yet. I haven’t even installed my personal payment settings for Google Ads yet…

So the recruitment…

There are three levels and you may choose what level you follow throughout the rest of the Nosce Te Ipsum project:

  • Practitioner

The Practitioner is part of The D.O.C.I.S. Community. He or she gains access to gathering locations on earthly compounds – after we’ve established them – by completing the online questionnaire that comes with every Nosce Te Ipsum episode after signing up at the D.O.C.I.S. International website. I’ll get to that around the 29th… 

[An e-mail survey?]

Excuse me while I clear myself from a disturbance…

  • Illuminatus

[Chair level Senate @ Re-Illu]

  • Illuminatus Intelligens

    Chair level Parliament [of the private holding D.O.C.I.S. International [is what I hope, since I’m looking for investors…]]

    How about a “bring your own pan” tea party? At the festival? 

    I’m still busy


    Last year around this time, I was in the hospital. 

    I think my B and his fellow Graeynissis are able to decipher this. Are you a Graeyniss? Would you like to become One?