08:58

It’s greatt

Good morning ๐Ÿ˜€

How was your night? 

Mine was all right. I woke up a few times, in the middle of the night, so I’m still tired, though. After this, I’m going to take a nap. 

I hope that somewhere today, what I transferred to my prepaid credit card, will finally be on there. Then I can finally make a doctor’s appointment and travel to a different city.

I drew on the picture, because the name of the hotel is on the key ring and I don’t want certain people to know where I am :D. [Even though, an often used phrase by them is: “Don’t think that you can keep any secrets from me. I can see everything.” (I’m talking about my parents againnnn x_x.)]

After waking up again, I will have the following things on my list:

  • Taxes
  • Wash hair x2
  • Write D. O. C. I. S. 

19:20

Meow…  I need the password that was in the letter that was given to me in 2016, to not risk getting a fine for not having filed my taxes on time. That letter is at home… I hope I’ll either be able to settle this by checking my hard drive, when I get back to my hotel room, or by calling the “hotline” tomorrow. 

Starter mid-eating

20:45

I couldn’t finish itt

Digestiveeee

What I’ve written for D. O. C. I. S. this far – far from enough – is what I’ve been writing in the restaurant I’m at right now. By myself, I’ll be able to concentrate better. Before I came here, to restaurant *bleep* [haha I’m not telling you my location, like I usually do, because I don’t want to be “found” and taken home], I took a decade to do my hair. I had to wash, condition and moisturize both my natural hair and my wig. After that, I had to make twists of my natural hair, which was what took the longest. I do this about once a week… I wash my wig more often, if it becomes dull looking. 

In case you wonder what my birthday wishes are, deep down: it’s Benoรฎt as my real life Cuddle for all eternity and money to pay my living expenses and to have some fun with, plus the right network to get my [then, finally “our”] business off the ground. Reality might be a slap in the face, though, from the way things are looking right now. Currently, I’m planning on making a long trip to a different city, on the day itself. And then swim some, when I’m there… Go for the slightly luxurious options, for the sake of spoiling myself a little, because I just turned 22 and turning 21 was a lonesome hell, just like turning 22 is. 

21:22

Meow. I try not to show how I feel on the inside, in my facial expressions. I think it’s working quite well. 

What took the longest today

23:25 

I often think that introductions of books are very boring, compared to the main content. It takes me a lot more time to mechanically write down this scope. I look forward to typing out the conversation.

Unfortunately, I can’t continue writing. I have to get up at 6 am tomorrow. 

[My heart hurts from the loneliness that is to be. There are a lot of people I would rather never face again. I already found their belief of me being a schizophrenic, something that was going too far, but I semi let that slide, by staying in touch with them, and look at what that has come to now. They need to realize that they killed the person I used to be, when they started to treat me as if I don’t perceive reality the way it is. Part of me is glad that I’m not that person anymore. I used to do my best to keep my network as big as possible and have everyone as my friends. Now I seek for useful contacts, because I found out I don’t have any. I would rather “workaholic” [as a verb] for the rest of my life, for my passions and my love for this challenge, than spend another second exchanging words without a purpose.]

Good night, my Cuddle

I love you so much