Here are some pictures I made before 12 am, but I hadn’t posted them yet:
Good night ♥
Good morning! ♥
How was your night?
Mine was far too short… I could barely get myself out of bed – as usual, but this time also because the bed just laid so Cuddle, besides the fact that I always wake up tired. I always end up timing getting up in such a way, that I’m at breakfast about 30 to 15 minutes before it closes.
So after breakfast I took a nap I just woke up from. Now I have 30 minutes to get ready and put everything back into my suitcase and bags.
Waiting for my mother got me like
Meow I’m starting to get hungry x_x. I’m meeting her here, because she’s paying for my room. All my cards will get declined, if I were to try it. Haha never do I tap the back button faster than when I check my bank accounts. I always press back so fast that my balance only shows for 0.000001 second ahahahahaha *cries*.
Ah meow I just heard she got pulled over for speeding in Germany :(. I’ve been lucky when it comes to getting pulled over, here, for getting pulled over = 0 & speeding = 100% of my time behind the wheel.
Haha but “do you know that one “”Dutch” “””schizophrenic””””” that got more than 3 speeding tickets in Germany?” Bwahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah luckily the tickets were deducted from the deposit and not as a separate €€€. They were from these “speed camera poles” on the highway. If there were no cars behind me, I pushed the breaks very hard, so that’s why it was only about 20 km/h too fast with the clio. But my late night trip – with no lights on the highway – with the Galaxy, is going to be for a lot more km/h, I think. I saw some signs that showed “Spurrinen!” or something, and that speed should be lowered. I lowered my speed, but drove as fast as the traffic allowed me to drive. The speed limit went from 120, to 100, to 80, to 60, but my pace was relatively steady. And then, suddenly, a red light flashed in my face. Haha meoww x_x €€€.
Also, the people from the rental agency claimed that I scratched the roof of the car, but I haven’t? I’ve very softly bumped into a column in a garage – with the Clio – but that didn’t leave any damage, and the picture they showed me really looks like someone fucked it up by scratching it with a key. Unless it’s from the pulling motion – since the car is not elastic – from softly bumping the side of the car against a bumper? Sometimes I don’t know if it’s real, or it’s just people doing random shit out of race/gender/whatever related hate.
I just saw that it’s a 35 minutes drive to the car rental agency.
Meoww I’m hungryyyyy asfff. But the car is handed in.
I’m now waiting for my mother to have parked. We lost each other after making a spontaneous U-turn in search of a gas station, since we drove with separate cars, so we decided to meet near the car rental agency.
I feel like shedding some tears over how much I’m going to miss it here and over missing “being independent”. But I have no other option but to search for investors and/or work, in the Netherlands. Since otherwise I would be reported missing and my reputation won’t be able to survive fucking bullshit like that again.
Boii I don’t even know what to do when I get home. I don’t want to see the person I’ve been calling my father all my life, “dus laat staan” talking to him. I feel like I should relax, when I get home, but just the idea of the feeling of being there, already makes me tense.
So I’m supposed to go to my grandmother’s? I told her I was going to visit her tomorrow and that I insist to sleep in my own bed tonight. I have the right to sleep in my own bed, but I heard “my father” is on a rampage and that my first encounter with him might be hell-ish. It fucking sucks that it is my home, too…
Haha it feels so fucking random to be back here and suddenly have a bit of Berlin in my bedroom.
After my “hello” was received in silence and by means of avoiding any clashes I’m not in the mood for, I just went to my room straight after coming back.
My inner flame is going volcano for getting to my own private (property) comfort as soooon as super possible. So I’ll quickly make a schedule for finishing my “company’s portfolio” and for some job application shit in the meantime, I guess.
I’ve unpacked everything and my quick “strategy” is written down.
My new stuff – mostly skin and hair products etc – doesn’t fit anywhere, so I’ve stacked it on my desk. Need. More. Space…
Ah meoww I don’t want to go back to being more complainey x_x.
So the rest of this week, I’ll spend working on my executive summary and responding to vacancies…
To “crush it”, for my investment proposal, I think I should have finished the Docis Int. website and the free eBook, but to be very honest, I’m so extremely tired, I need a short holiday before I can do those things. But I HAVE TO have a side-job to live here without clashing 24/7 – and that while I don’t even want to be here ahahahahahaaha – and people are mad at me because of the expenses of me leaving and that I should not do that ever again [it’s my third time. The first time was free. Grrr I don’t ask for those expenses for fun. Either let me die or don’t complain after spending money on me after a decade], so that doesn’t allow for the rest I need, plus, the time I spend resting is time I lose “crushing it” and getting the fuck out of here…
So for my first proposal, I think I’ll say [not literally]: “Meoww mister/miss investor, if I keep doing this by myself, I’ll not get older than 25. We need all components of the business at once. It will be so lit. Mag ik nu een Cishe? :D” I need some non-plebs advice anyway, so I’ll not spend too much time fine tuning things.
I want to say so much right now, that if I do it, I would write until sunrise. Unfortunately, I’m extremely tired already.
Ps. Being taken back here against my will feels like such a strange form of being held hostage or something¿
Pps. I don’t have my house key back and I don’t want to take it back, because I don’t want to live here. It’s going to be an issue, though, because I told my grandmother I was going to stay over at her house tomorrow – actually I just want to be alone – so how am I going to come back inside here¿